Disclaimer: I don't own anything or any rights. I don't work for Degrassi, and I am not writing this for profit. So don't sue me; I don't have any money anyway.
Stop for just a moment. Now listen, do you hear that? Depending on where you are at this very moment you may be detecting a various amount of things. A baby crying, a couple shouting, a pen tapping, a siren blaring. Or maybe, it's just the process of you mind encoding these very letters into words, and those words into thoughts, as your mind continues to paint images of the story I have just told you. They call me Nash and I can honestly say that my life is... well func in dysfunction, I think that puts it best. I can function in my dysfunction and I can function because of my dysfunction. The journey of my life thus far has been a horizontal maze of bumps and ridges but it has made me who I am. I finally found my reason for writing and I hope that you felt it too.
Ellie smiled as she closed her laptop computer. Months and months of writing and rewriting, twisting and changing the plot and direction of her novel, she was finally complete. She felt a huge weight being lifted off of her shoulders as she settled down into her bed and stared lovingly at Sean. He slept so peacefully and she couldn't help but reach out and brush some of his hair back out of his face, causing him to wake up slightly.
"Hmm, what time is it?" He asked groggily as he noticed the sun peaking through their bedroom window. He thought it was Saturday but he wasn't completely sure, the last couple of weeks had been so crazy and had thrown him off completely.
"It's only 8:30, go back to sleep." Ellie smiled.
"It is Saturday right?" Sean asked as he let out a yawn.
"Yes, do you think we would still be in bed if it wasn't," Ellie laughed.
"Hmm, your right about that." Sean smiled as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close.
"We get to hear it at 12:30 don't we," Sean asked smiling just a little to much.
"Yes we get to hear the heartbeat at 12:30," Ellie laughed. She still couldn't believe she had a life inside her all over again. She still couldn't believe how much she had been against it but how quickly euphoria had taken over once she found out.
"I finished," Ellie said quietly changing the subject as she laced her hand into Sean's.
"Aww, Elle that is awesome, when are you going to take it to that editor." Sean asked anxiously.
"I want to read the whole thing through one more time but I am thinking some time this week."
"I haven't said it in a while but, I- I really love you Elle." Sean said after taking a deep breath and pulling Ellie closer.
"I know you love me Sean. I love you to and everything you have done for me." Ellie was just so happy that the whole Craig situation was behind them. They had a whole future to look forward to. Hopefully her book would be successful, but even if it wasn't Ellie still felt accomplished. She had finished something she set out to do, and from that she knew her character was still intact. She would never feel like a hypocrite when she told her children not to procrastinate, or to not start something that they didn't plan on finishing. Being a good mother meant more to Ellie than anyone would ever know, more than she was willing to let anyone know. Craig had almost taken that away from her. Ellie felt the rage come inside her. She still didn't know what she would do if she ever saw Craig again, and she didn't want to think about it either.
"How are we going to manage; this house was crowded as is?" Ellie heard Sean ask pulling her from out of her thoughts.
"Manage what?" She asked, slightly guilty that she hadn't been listening to him.
"Remember Jay is going to bring Taryn over today. He finally decided to take custody of her." Sean sighed as he stroked his hand through Ellie's hair.
"We have plenty of room, and once the new baby comes if they are still here she can just share a room with Mykel." Ellie said nonchalantly.
"Whoa, who says they are going to be living in our house that long." Sean said sitting up.
"Sean it was your idea to bring Jay and Alex here in the first place. You certainly can't expect them to up and leave now. Not with Jay just gaining custody of his estranged daughter." Ellie said calmly as she sat up with Sean.
"I don't think Mykel will like that very much. I'm not even sure how well she is going to take the new baby news."Sean said as he rubbed his head and thought about how possessive his daughter could be.
"Maybe we should get her a pet first." Ellie laughed.
"That's not a bad idea," Sean smiled as he pulled Ellie down on top of him into a kiss.
"Sean," Ellie said laughing between kisses, "It's too early. We'll wake everyone up."
"Since when did that ever stop us," Sean said as he pulled Ellie closer and began to deepen the kiss. A few minutes had passed and the two were engaged in four play like no other. It had been such a long time since they made love first thing in the morning and Sean was more than excited. All of a sudden just a Sean was embarking on his excitement he felt Ellie attempting to push herself off of him.
"What in the hell are you doing, I just got it up," Sean exclaimed angrily as he watched Ellie make a dash for the bathroom. He closed his eyes and sighed as he heard the contents of Ellie's stomach splash against the water. It was at that very moment that he knew his new child was going to have it out for him once it was born. "Be careful what you wish for." Sean mumbled to himself angrily. He couldn't believe what had just happened. It had to be one of the most disappointing sexual letdowns he had experienced in a long time.
"I'm sorry Sean," Ellie said softly from the bathroom as she got up to go brush her teeth. It was going to be a long pregnancy she could already tell. How was she going to manage with a three year old, Alex, Jay, and his new five year old all in her house this time.
"Jay, I know you're nervous." Marco said as his friend and client filled out the last of the paperwork on Taryn. "I think that you two will do great, plus you have such a great support system. She is probably going to act out for a couple of weeks as she tries to adjust to this drastic change in her life. Just try to be understanding Jay." Marco had taken a fondness to Taryn and he truly believed that there where no bad children only bad circumstances, even if half of her genes came from Jay. "I'm going to go get her; she should be all ready to go with you." Marco smiled as he walked through the double doors of the children's shelter to get Taryn.
Jay let out a breath he had been holding in as he flopped down on the couch, he still couldn't believe it. He closed his eyes and couldn't help but laugh.
"I bet you think this is really funny Amy but guess what," Jay said out loud to no one in particular. "Alex is still going to marry me and I'm still going to be happy." Jay shook his head as he leaned forward and looked at the ground. "I am going to try, that's all I can promise. I am going to try to be a good fa- father." It still sounded so weird, he was a father and it's not like he was holding a little baby, Taryn was already five and had the attitude of someone three times her age. "You may be laughing Amy but I'm not going to mess this one up." Jay said out loud just as the double doors opened. He looked up to see the little dirty blonde staring back at him. She dropped her bag to the ground as she attempted to pull up the left strap of her overalls and look Jay up and down. She rolled her eyes before turning around to give Marco a look that said, do I really have to go with him? Jay took a deep breath as he stood up, he could tell this was not going to be easy.
"Now Taryn we are going to miss you but Jay is going to do the best he can. You two are going to have to work together ok." Marco said to her as he took off her little backwards cap and turned it around.
"Thanks, Mr. Del Rossi." Taryn said as she picked up her bag and began heading towards the door.
"I owe you Marco for helping to talk some sense into me," Jay said as he smiled at him. Marco just shook his head and smiled as he watched his friend walk away.
"One more thing Jay," Marco yelled.
"What's that ?" Jay asked back.
"Good luck, I know you can be a good dad if you just try." Jay nodded as he and Taryn headed toward his car. Well this would certainly be an awkward ride. Two weeks ago he was denying this girl's very existence, and she thought he was dead, now they were being forced into each other's lives and Jay had no idea how to relate to her.
"Hey, what are you doing up so early!" Ellie asked Alex as she walked into her kitchen later that morning.
"I couldn't really get back to sleep you know." Alex said quietly. Ellie nodded as she got eggs and milk out of the fridge to prepare breakfast with. "You stressed too?" Alex chuckled.
"Oh no, I really do feel like making breakfast." Ellie smiled, "I think it may make Taryn feel a little less awkward when she gets here." Ellie said as she got the waffler iron out.
"I don't know how I'm going to do this Elle, that little girl is going to hate me because I'm not her mother." Alex said as she stood up and went to help her.
"It might take her a while to get used to you but I think everything will eventually work out." Ellie said confidently.
"I would hate me if I were her, her mom just died and I hated her." Alex said trying not to sound to emotional. "I mean Amy was my best friend once and I couldn't even bring myself to go to the funeral." Alex said quietly as she began to crack some eggs for Ellie.
"Alex, what happened to Amy was so sad. I believe that she may have been able to turn her life around with help, but there is nothing we can do except honor her by loving that little girl as if she is already a part of this family." Ellie adverted her eyes towards Alex for a moment, she didn't know how her friend was feeling and she could only hope she could support her to the best of her abilities.
"Enough about me, how is the new baby doing," Alex asked changing the subject, she had gotten very good at doing that.
"I am getting a little morning sickness here and there, still not as bad as Mykel but then again I didn't start having it with her until almost my second trimester. Oh we are going to here the heartbeat today," Ellie said a little to excited.
"For someone who didn't want anymore kids, you sure are excited."Alex said as she forced a smile. "I would have figured you would be ready to... um never mind." Alex looked down she had almost offended her best friend and that would have not been a good outcome.
"I'm not going to cut myself Alex, if that's what you're thinking." Ellie looked at her arms as she thought about the many scars and cuts that used to adorn them. "I love this new baby, and I knew I would that is why I didn't want to get pregnant again yet. There's no way I couldn't be totally in love with my child." Ellie said assertively.
"Well Taryn isn't my child," Alex started. "But -um- hopefully we can love each other too."
"So Taryn-um-what kind of stuff do you like to do?" Jay finally asked after the first ten minutes of driving in silence. She didn't answer him. She didn't even look in his direction.
"Ok, well – um- uh- I personally love cars, oh and racing, that's pretty fun. I love playing cards, yeah maybe I'll teach you to play Hold em one day." Jay laughed as he turned onto the highway.
"I already know how." Taryn said quietly.
"What! But your five, what do you know about hold em?" Jay asked astonished.
"I used to watch the poker shows every night," She answered still not looking his way."I use to like to watch the car races on TV too.
"Damn, I guess that type of stuff is hereditary." Jay laughed, Taryn did not.
"Look, um Taryn. I know this is going to be hard, but I really do care about you. I am sorry about Amy but I am going to try my best to be a good dad to you." Jay said seriously as he looked straight ahead of him at the road.
"Sure," Taryn said sadly. She just couldn't catch a break. All she could hope was that her life with this man would be better than the life she had been having.
A/N: I know I said this was the second to last chapter, but I think I may have two more we'll see. Thanks so much for the positive reviews and words of encouragement, I really appreciated it everyone.