A/N: Many thanks to my wonderful and dedicated beta, D.E. Alexander and Natsu Yoru Manialoll

Chapter Twenty Five: Disbelief

Heart constricted so tightly that it was only a pinpoint, Kiyoshi blindly groped for the button to call the nurse. Soubi had to be wrong; Ritsuka couldn't be gone. It was impossible. His fingers finally found the button, desperately pressing it over and over again. He couldn't tear his eyes away from Soubi's immobile form at the foot of his bed. There was only one word to describe the man: hollow.

Even when Soubi had been concealing his feelings, there had been warmth in his eyes every time he was around or even thought of Ritsuka. Now there was absolutely nothing. His blue eyes were now ice and blank, reflecting only the images in front of him. He saw and felt nothing. Kiyoshi had heard of people shutting down completely when confronted with a trauma, but it was so unreal to see it happening before his own eyes.

"Soubi?" he tried. The other man didn't even blink, didn't even twitch. He finally managed to tearhis eyes from the blonde as the door clicked open. A nurse hurried in with a doctor close behind. The male doctor stepped toward the hospital bed, but Kiyoshi started talking before the doctor had a chance to look at any of his charts or machines he was still attached to. "You have to find my son, Aoyagi Ritsuka. He left a little over an hour ago. He's somewhere in the hospital. Something's happened to him."

The doctor didn't seem concerned at Kiyoshi's rambled, panicked sentence. He was now checking the charts and machines. "I'm sure your son is fine. You need to stay calm so-"

The nurse unexpectedly spoke up from her position on Kiyoshi's other side. "What does he look like?" The doctor sharply turned to her, but the petite, auburn-haired nurse looked only at Kiyoshi. "We had a teenager show up in the ER alone and without any ID," she said clearly, stilling ignoring the doctor's irritated glare.

"Ritsuka's fifteen," he breathed, a warm fire building in his chest. "Black hair, earless, dark jeans, green jacket, and he's had surgery in the past couple of weeks. There should still be a scar." The nurse was nodding along with every sentence.

"That sounds like the boy we have. Are his eyes an amazing shade of violet?"

"Yes," Kiyoshi almost shouted, trying to get out of bed, but the doctor immediately pushed him back down. Kiyoshi glared up at him, hope and fear in a desperate game in his chest. "We thought he was dead. You have to let me see him."

The doctor was shaking his head, unmoved. "Your wound is still healing. You are in no shape to walk all the way down to the ER. Even if we did discharge you today, you would be under strict orders to rest at home for a week." Kiyoshi opened his mouth to argue, determined one way or another to make sure that his son was alive, but the doctor continued. "If you insist," the doctor sighed, "you may ride down to the ER in a wheelchair to determine if the child is your son. If he is, you may visit for a little while."

Kiyoshi glared darkly at the man again. For a little while? He wasn't going to leave Ritsuka alone in an ER room. Seeing the indecision on Kiyoshi's face, the doctor spoke again. "You can visit for a little while or not at all. It's your choice."

As he glanced quickly over at Soubi, the rest of the ice in his heart melted. Soubi was standing still, but his eyes were no longer two pools of ice. He had thawed and was paying rapt attention to the conversation, though Kiyoshi didn't understand why he had not spoken yet.

Taking a deep breath, he calmly addressed the doctor. "May we go now?" His heart rate finally slowed as the doctor nodded, motioning for the nurse to get a wheelchair. However, she didn't move.

"There's some information you need to know before we go," she said quietly, eyes wary.

The ice returned to Kiyoshi's heart and Soubi's eyes, but the hollow look, thankfully, did not return to Soubi's entire being.

"Wh-what do you mean? What's wrong with him?" Kiyoshi choked out.

"He's going to be fine… eventually. We're not sure what happened, but it appears someone intentionally caused his injuries. I don't remember all of his injuries, but I know he has cracked and bruised ribs, a sever concussion, and he's having problems breathing. When I was down there about fifteen minutes ago, he was still on the ventilator."

Ventilator?

"He had surgery for a collapsed lung about two weeks ago. He had a concussion and broken and bruised ribs then also." Kiyoshi said as the nurse nodded and gave the doctor a pointed look.

"That explains why he needs to stay in the ER. This is the information they need to treat the boy better. It explains why his breathing was so weak when he was brought in; there hadn't appeared to be any damage to his lungs." There was no denying the smug look on her face. Without another word, she left the room and returned in a minute with a wheelchair.

Kiyoshi looked back over at Soubi again, unable to explain the new concern for the man who had entered his life only mere weeks ago. "Soubi?" he tried again, relaxing as his son's boyfriend finally turned toward him. Soubi blinked dazedly at him. "Did you hear the nurse? Ritsuka is in the ER. He's going to be okay. He isn't gone, and we'll see him in a just a few minutes."

Soubi stared at him for a second before nodding, eyes still slightly glazed over. He was back in reality at least. Kiyoshi comforted himself with that thought as he carefully maneuvered himself into the wheelchair, heart aching to see his injured son.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Violet orbs stared blankly up at the ceiling, every inch of his body hurting, but he knew no medicine the doctors gave him would ease the pain. Nothing would ever ease the pain. The only thing that had made his life bearable since Seimei's death was now gone, just as Seimei was gone. Nothing mattered—not the tubes in his arms, or the doctors rushing around him, or the tube in his throat-- if Soubi was never coming back.

The machine registered the quickening of his heart at that thought. Soubi would never come back. Soubi would nevertouch him again, never hold him again, never tell him 'I love you.'

No… it can't be…I can't…

Lost in his own thoughts, Ritsuka didn't even notice the nurse standing at his side, trying to calm him down. He didn't notice her concern and hesitation as she tentatively touched the side of his face, gently wiping away a tear.

Ritsuka blinked, once, slowly, and shifted his eyes, searching for a still face above him. The neck brace wouldn't allow him to move his head even an inch. He had tried earlier and gotten fussed at by a doctor. He felt the wetness on his cheeks as a kind, heart shaped face swam into view.

"Hi there. We're going to give you some more pain meds to make this better, okay sweetie?"

He wanted to shake his head, to tell them that there was nothing they could do. His amazing, beautiful, kind, gentle Soubi, his other half, had been taken away from him. Forever. He would never again seethat teasing half-smile, half-smirk He would never yell at the man for smoking. He would never be held and protected by those strong arms.

But he couldn't talk with the huge tube down his throat. Even if he could talk, he didn't want to. Talking was pointless. There were no words to express the pain radiating down to his core. There was nothing to left to be done. Everything was ruined.

The voice floated back to him, the same nurse who had called him sweetie and promised pain meds. "I know this hurts, but you need to try to stop crying. If you try to sob or cry too hard, it'll make everything hurt more because of the tube in your throat. We have to keep the tube in though, sweetie. I'm sorry. You can't breath on your own yet."

Crying? Sob? More pain?

It's impossible for there to be anymore pain. That's all I am now. One huge, lump of never ceasing pain.

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Soubi heard the commotion before he ever even saw the double entrance door to the trauma room. There was a sharp cry—a command—someone yelling to take something out, hurried instructions to breathe out, then coughing and sobbing mixed in one loud, long, painful sound that shredded Soubi's heart.

He had heard that sound only twice in the past three years and each time it had pained him as it did in the hospital hallway. Pure misery followed the pain—misery that he most likely could not fix what was wrong with the teenager who was still so young, yet too mature for his age.

There was no anger this time as there had been in the past. No anger that someone had made this good, gentle, loving creature produce such a wretched and otherworldly sound. There was only instantaneous and complete relief.

Ritsuka was alive.

Ritsuka was alive and sobbing.

Ritsuka was alive, sobbing, and hurt.

Ritsuka.

Without any thought to the doctors and nurses surround him, Soubi ran forward, barreling into the door, flinging them wide open to knock against the opposite walls.

Several people turned and stared athim, but he didn't notice, didn't stop as he immediately saw Ritsuka stretched out on the gurney while a nurse was attempting to put an oxygen mask on him. Without thinking, Soubi rushed forward, mind reeling, giddy.

"Ritsuka," he breathed, grabbing the boy's scratched hand.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

This time Ritsuka managed to turn his head, squeezing the larger hand tighter than he had ever squeezed anything in his life, the other furiously ripping away the Velcro on the neck brace.

The teenager's sob caught in his throat, staring at the exquisite blonde angel before him.

Soubi.

The sob escaped him as he flung himself at the apparition uncaring that it would only disappear. A hallucination was better than nothing.

He expected to tumble to the floor, to feel the IV rip from his skin, but instead strong arms wrapped themselves securely around his back, one hand straying up to his hair. Fingers interlaced protectively in his raven-locks, drawing the beating, bruised body even closer to his own unscathed one.

Ritsuka didn't know what to think, so he thought of nothing other than security expanding in his chest. Soubi was here. It didn't matter that he had no idea where here was, or how Soubi could be here; just the simple fact that he was back in the man's arms was more than enough.

Maybe I died too… Do I really care as long as I get to stay with him?

His apparition was staying, standing solidly in front of his eyes. The strong, secure arms wound themselves around his waist, pulling him up from the uncomfortable hospital stretcher. Ritsuka desperately grabbed the hallucination's shirt. All of the aches in his body disappeared as this impossible, glorious being in front of him spoke his name in that familiar musical tilt that Ritsuka knew he would respond to even in his sleep.

"Ritsuka."

As attuned as the teen's ears were to always hear that voice, the single spoken word was barely audible. His fists bunched tighter around the cotton material of the man's shirt, unwilling and unable to let his hallucination go. A little part of him whispered that this would only make grieving harder, but it was instantly squelched. Later didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was the soft, strong arms around him; the chest his face was pressed into; the bitter tobacco smell invading his nostrils. The only thing that mattered was that Soubi was here with him, back where he belonged.

"Soubi."

Ooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Soubi."

There was no possible way to stop the tears from springing to his eyes with that one spoken word. Soubi clutched the small teen even tighter to him, careful to steer clear of the injured ribs. He could feel Ritsuka's nails through the thin material of his shirt. Ritsuka's warm breath tickled the hollow at his neck; his heartbeat, steady and strong, thumped steadily against his own erratic heartbeat.

Ritsuka was alive, whole, and safe in his arms.

Somehow, someway, Ritsuka was breathing, talking, clutching, and crying in his arms.

However, there was no trace of the fifteen-year-old's ever familiar, ever present being in his mind. The "Ritsuka presence" in his mind was gone forever.

But the flesh Ritsuka—the blushing, stubborn, fierce, loving child that he had fallen in love with—was curled securely in his arms.

And that was all that mattered.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooo

Kiyoshi froze barely inside the entrance, simply watching as Soubi rushed forward. He started forward again in alarm as Ritsuka tore off his neck brace and cut off the nurse trying to put a oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, but he halted a second later as Soubi crushed the earless teen to his chest.

He slowly rolled his wheelchair forward, never moving his eyes from Ritsuka's frame. The teenager was dressed only in boxers, but didn't seem to even notice. Kiyoshi took in all the bruises, cuts, and the bandages wrapped around his middle.

He stopped again as he pulled up beside the hugging, crying couple. He could still hear Ritsuka sobbing. Soubi's shoulders were shaking, but he made no noise other than softly whispering Ritsuka's name.

Not wanting to interrupt just yet—as long he could see and hear Ritsuka he could allow Soubi and Ritsuka to betogether—but he still wasn't completely convinced that Ritsuka really was alive. Soubi had just been so sure back in the hospital room…

Hesitantly, he reached out a hand and placed it gently on his son's lower back. Ritsuka's skin was warm beneath his hand. As relief and reality coursed through him, every muscle in his body instantly relaxed. Head suddenly too heavy to be supported by his neck, he leaned his head on his outstretched arm.

He had no idea how much time had passed before he finally made out Ritsuka's words.

"Did I die?"

ooooooooooooooooooo

Soubi blinked back his tears at the quiet sentence, pulling back enough to look into Ritsuka's violet eyes. "Did you die?" Ritsuka nodded solemnly at him.

"You're too solid to be a hallucination," Ritsuka said matter-of-factly. "And I can't feel youin my head anymore, and the thread is broken, and it just felt so…empty," Clouds invaded his eyes as he whispered the last word. "You were gone, but now you're here, so we both must have died."

Soubi shook his head, noticing Kiyoshi as he did so. "Neither of us died," he said quietly and soothingly, unable to keep the tremor out of his voice and uncaring that he had such little control over his emotions. Ritsuka had almost been taken from him. If there was ever a time to completely loose control over his emotions, this was it. "I thought you had died too. I couldn't feel you just as you couldn't feel me anymore. My thread is broken also."

Ritsuka stared confusedly at him. "But…how can that be possible? I thought that only happened when a Fighter or Sacrifice died or wanted to be separated from their partner? I didn't—I don't—want to be separated from you. I want that mental connection back. Everything feels…off somehow. Even right now with you in front of me, holding me, something still feels like it's missing."

Soubi brushed away the remainder of Ritsuka's tears, stroking his hair lightly while Kiyoshi rubbed his back in small circles. Ritsuka had stopped sobbing, but was still hiccupping slightly.

The artist understood exactly what Ritsuka meant when he said it felt like there was something that was still missing. Something did feel off. They had both gotten so used to having the other person always there to be called; it felt odd to be so disconnected. There was no comforting presence there, no reassurance that someone was always there for him.

Before he could even open his mouth to tell Ritsuka all of this, a very determined nurse walked over and glared at the trio. "I'm very glad that you're all reunited and happy, but this young man is still very hurt and seems to be having difficulty breathing." She looked pointedly at Ritsuka, who could only stare at her. "You need to lie back down and let us get you hooked up to some oxygen." Seeing the alarmed look on his face, she quickly and soothingly hurried on. "We're not going to be put the tube back in if that's what you're worried about. We're going to put little tubes around your ears and under your nose that shoot little bursts of air. You probably had that the last time you were in a hospital." Ritsuka nodded at the explanation, still clutching to Soubi with one hand, but his other hand was now curled in his father's.

As Ritsuka lay back down on the bed, Kiyoshi released his hand to prevent the teen from awkwardly having one arm resting across his body. "Dad," Ritsuka said immediately, eyes flashing toward him, scared by the sudden loss of physical contact.

"It's okay, Ritsuka. I'm right here. I'm coming to the other side of the bed. Nothing bad is going to happen, I promise." Kiyoshi quickly rolled his chair to the other side and grasped the youngteenager'shand again. Ritsuka squeezed his hand tightly, looking between him and Soubi.

"What happened?" he asked quietly. "How did I get in the ER?"

Instead of Kiyoshi or Soubi answering, a nearby nurse answered. "A young man brought you down here. He said he found you in a bathroom. His name was…" she struggled to remembered, "Hajime-kun."

"Hajime-kun?" Soubi spoke up. Hajime was the name of one of Yukoi's personalities, but this had to be a coincidence.

"Yes," the nurse answered slowly. "You really owe your life to him. You were barely breathing when he brought you down here." Kiyoshi's hand reflexively tightened around Ritsuka's smaller one at the idea that, once again, he had almost lost his son.

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Ritsuka looked over at Soubi, still not sure if the man was really there. Soubi was in front of him, but there was absolutely no way to contact him mentally. It felt like a huge chunk of his mind had been ripped out and shredded to pieces.

Ritsuka saw Soubi glance over at Kiyoshi who was sleeping in a chair before leaning forward on the bed. Smiling for the first time since waking up and warmth filling his heart, Ritsuka scooted closer to the man.

Soubi's warm hands cupped Ritsuka's face carefully, pulling him forward until their lips met. Every concern and fear melted away in the few seconds their lips were together.

Breathless, they pulled apart. Soubi folded Ritsuka's hand into his own, leaning his upper body on the bed as Ritsuka resettled himself on his side. Soubi was still baffled as to how his beautiful Ritsuka was laying in front of him, tiredly blinking his eyes. Soubi reached up and brushed away Ritsuka's fringe. The fifteen-year-old closed his eyes briefly, but then quickly snapped them open. Soubi smiled and shook his head.

"Ritsuka, you need to sleep, and so do I. We're both going to be here in the morning for the other. No one is going to tear us apart again." Ritsuka nodded slowly at him, but Soubi knew his boyfriend hadn't heard half his words, only understood his tone.

"I love you," Ritsuka mumbled, finally closing his eyes as he curled closer to Soubi.

"I love you too, my precious Ritsuka."

With that said, Soubi closed his eyes also, listening for only a moment to the steady sound of Ritsuka's breathing and his heart beat beeping on one of the monitors before he and Ritsuka were both asleep.

Author's Note: I'm so sorry for the long wait. Between my own slowing writing and one of my betas being uber busy with her own life, this was delayed, but the next chapter is about halfway down. Also, I'm out of school all next week for Fall Break, so much writing will be done! Please review!! I'm trying not to complain, but my review has gone down from the previous chapters, and it makes me sad… You want me happy, so I'll update quicker!!