Chapter 25: Trust, a Greater Compliment than Love

(*Title taken from a quote by George McDonald*)

It wasn´t long before they found a stairwell that would take them up to the next deck. The difficult part was making their way from the Master at Arms´ office to the staircase as the ice cold waters of the North Atlantic kept on pouring into Titanic, making it too damned hard for even a man as tall and big as Sandor Clegane to keep his balance.

And it didn´t help that the fucking water was freezing beyond anything he could´ve imagined. The time he had fallen through some thin ice as Sandor went ice-fishing in Canada was nothing compared to this. It was so damned cold it actually burned him, and there had been no way to escape it until they reached the stairwell. Still, despite it all, Sandor was ready to hold on to Sansa´s hand for dear life whenever he felt her fingers slipping away as the God damned icy water swirled around them.

The moment they reached the stairwell, he bid Sansa to climb up the ladder first. And as he followed her, Sandor´s eyes took in the alluring sight of how her wet dress clung to her behind and to her long legs. Stop it, he thought, shaking his head. This isn´t the sodding time or place for that.

For a moment as they stood on D-Deck, trying to catch their breaths, Sandor considered where should they head for next. But just as he was deciding on whether or not it would be wise to go looking for Elbert seeing as they were already at steerage, Sandor caught sight of Sansa trembling like a leaf beside him.

"Here," he rasped, taking off his coat. The bottom was soaked through and dripping, but most of it was dry enough, seeing as his height had kept it from getting wet.

"Oh," the little bird chirped, as Sandor helped her into it. "Thank you."

"Don´t mention it," he told her, rubbing her arms in an attempt to bring back some warmth into her body, thinking she looked beautiful wearing his coat, even though it was too big for her.

Sansa smiled up at him when Sandor unconsciously reached out to brush away a strand of wet hair from her face. Then he took her hands in his own and kissed them, before he began to rub them as gently as he could.

"What happened to your coat?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

"I had to take it off so I could move better in the water," she replied in a voice that shook from the cold.

Without waiting a moment longer, Sandor tugged Sansa closer to him so he could both hug her and keep her warm. She leaned against his chest gratefully, seeking comfort as he wrapped his arms around her, the motions as familiar to him as if they´d had spent the last decade doing this, rather than only a day.

They both needed a moment to rest anyways, and this way he would be able to spend a few more moments with the little bird before making sure she got on a lifeboat along with the other women. Sandor could only hope he would be able to follow her, if not on the same boat, at least soon enough in another. But even if the worst happens, she came back for me. No one could take that away from him.

And so he hugged her tightly against him, his head full of thoughts of how strong and courageous his little bird was. Sandor was so fucking proud of her, amazed by the transformation in her that had taken place before his eyes since Friday night. She had already given him more than he had any right to expect, and yet now she had also saved his life, risking her own in the process.

Sandor´s heart was threatening to burst inside his chest as he remembered what he´d felt when he saw her appearing at the door of the Master at Arms´ office, determined to free him, even if the only way she could do that was with a fucking hairpin. And maybe the rest of the world would´ve thought he was mad, but Sandor had found hope in this mad night to trust Sansa the way he´d never been able to do about anyone else.

He knew there had been a big chance that she´d failed, but now that they were once again together, Sandor didn´t want to dwell on what might have happened had the little bird´s plan failed to work. I would´ve told her to leave me and save herself, and she would´ve been stubborn about it, refusing to leave my side.

A smile appeared at the corner of his mouth as he imagined that despite the fact that Sansa must have been scared shitless first as she tried to find him, and then as she tried to find a way to save him, she had never faltered. Hers was a heart not only good and pure, but brave. What did I do to deserve her? he thought, hugging her even closer.

"I already knew you were made of sterner stuff than you let on, little bird," he snarled, pulling away so he could stare down at her, his hands enclosing her small waist. "But I hope you can see that now too, Sansa."

Blushing, she bit her lip, but then she nodded and said with a teasing smile, "Yes, but only because you inspire me to believe in myself. It´s like- for you I can do the inconceivable."

Amazed, Sandor couldn´t find the words to reply to that. So instead he bent down and kissed her properly, hoping she would know just how much she meant to him. It was hard to believe even now after everything that had happened between them that whatever she provoked in him, she felt it as well in regards to him. In the past he would´ve scoffed at such a notion, but that would´ve been because he didn´t know what he was missing.

"I´m sorry about this," he suddenly rasped, gently brushing his thumb by the small bruise on her lip, even as he struggled to keep his fury against Joffrey in check. "I should´ve known better. I´m sorry too that he hurt you again, Sansa. But even if I wish I´d killed that bastard, it´s best for the both of us that I didn´t."

Sandor was going to go on, but the little bird raised a hand to cup his cheek and said in a soft voice, "It´s all right. We both should´ve known better. I´m to blame too. It was always my idea to disobey him, even if it risked us getting caught. But neither of could help ourselves, and that is why you relented to the steerage dance and to escaping into the hull of the ship hours ago. I don´t think we should worry about that anymore though. There´s no time for it. We are together now and that´s all that matters."

"That, and getting through this night alive," Sandor added in agreement. They had lingered here long enough.

"We´ll worry about what we could´ve done differently another day," the little bird proposed. "After all, despite everything, neither of us regret what we did before we were caught."

Sandor could not help but grin at the certainty with which she spoke those words. They were true of course, but he liked hearing Sansa saying them. He looked at her a long moment, and finally nodded. No more would be said of this.

"The little bird is no longer afraid to speak her mind," Sandor pointed out, chuckling, both proud and amused. "Is she?" It wasn´t like her to refer to them fucking so naturally.

"No, I´m not," Sansa consented. "But oh Sandor, what are we going to do after we leave the ship?"

"Let´s get away from here and find a way to the boat deck first," he proposed, taking her hand in his and starting to walk away from the stairwell, which was almost underwater by now. "We´ll come up with something as we make our way there. For example, I would like to know just did you manage to escape them, little bird. You said he didn´t hurt you."

"He didn´t," she replied. "I hurt him. When he regained consciousness he seemed to be having trouble taking in the fact that we were together. He looked sort of lost, unsure about what to do. Soon enough he would have probably returned to his usual self, but at least he was disoriented enough when I was with him. So in a way, I was safe."

She went on to tell him how stewards had at long last instructed First Class passengers all to go to the boat decks, how Thomas Andrews had confirmed that Titanic would sink in about an hour, and how she had finally had enough of the lions.

"Joffrey followed me after I left their side of course," Sansa finished off. "And he tried to stop me. But he had to let me go after I hit him on his broken nose. Then I- oh, I knew you would laugh, Sandor!"

Of course he would fucking laugh! Sandor roared with laughter, a sour sound, part rumble and part snarl echoing down the deserted corridor eerily. He could only imagine it, but that was sweet enough. And soon enough Sansa had joined in, even though she kept protesting it had been very unladylike of her.

"We may quite a team, little bird," he remarked, as his laughter finally died down. "And you loved hitting that bastard as much as I did, admit it."

The little bird rolled her eyes at him, but she was smiling as she did so. As they rounded a corner into another sodding empty hallway, and Sandor wondered how long it would be before they managed to get up to the next deck, Sansa asked him what had happened to him after he´d been arrested. Sandor gave her a short account, leaving out the part Meryn Trant´s gloating of what that piece of shit would like to do to her if he ever had the chance.

If Sandor saw Trant or Joffrey again, he knew it would be hard to restrain himself from killing them both. But I´ve got to try. Hitting Joff had already cost them their plan of keeping their relationship secret until they escaped once they reached New York. Now they had to come up with a new one, but many things made that bloody difficult.

If only those two would drown tonight! But then, thinking it over, Sandor realized he didn´t want that. Bugger that. I don´t want them dead. I want them burned till the moon turns black! And yet, in a way the best revenge they could ever have over the Lannisters would be to keep arrive Ney York safe and sound, before escaping.

Which is why he suddenly rasped, "Sansa, you do realize though that when we are on the rescue ship, if any of the lions were to see us, I´d be arrested again, don´t you?"

Sansa shuddered and nodded. Then she chirped, "I had thought about it. And I will denounce the Lannisters for all they have done to me if that happens. But in the eyes of the law I am their ward until I turn eighteen, so even if some believe me, to the world they still have power of me."

"That you won´t, little bird," Sandor warned her at once, his dark eyes narrowing. "If the worse comes to happen, I´ll be the one telling anyone who will listen about those hypocrites. But you have already angered them enough to keep on adding things to the bloody list. If I´m arrested the law will back them up if they try to keep you with them."

"Do you think they would tell the police that you- that we- that I´m no longer a maid?" she wondered reddening, glancing nervously at him. "Since I am not of age they could accuse you of-"

"Don´t worry about that, bird," Sandor reassured her. "They wouldn´t dare tell anyone that Joffrey´s fiancé preferred to fuck his dog rather than him."

His words came out harsher than he´d intended, he realized as he saw Sansa wince. He lay a heavy hand on her shoulder, cursing himself for upsetting her, but just then she said, "Yes, you´re right. For all anyone knows, it was Joffrey. There is no real evidence that you did it."

They won´t need proof, he thought. They have money enough to make up for that. Whereas they had nothing. The Lannisters would rob him of his life´s savings the first moment they could, which meant that Sandor was not even going to be able to pay a fee to get out of jail. Then they will either let me rot in there, or send someone to finish me off.

And Sansa in the meantime would be punished with either death or a different kind of imprisonment. I may have spared her marrying to that son of a bitch, but that doesn´t mean she wouldn´t suffer. Sandor was reminded once again of Meryn Trant´s lust for the little bird. And there would be nothing neither of them could do about it, out of fear the other one would get hurt in retaliation.

"If only I wasn´t so fucking recognizable," Sandor snarled angrily. "Then we may have stood a chance by keeping a low profile on the rescue ship."

"And there is no one who can help us," Sansa agreed with a miserable sigh. "I felt so happy when I left Joffrey- so free… I shudder to think that I could be made to return to that cage. To be torn from your side. It- it almost makes the prospect of going down with Titanic welcoming, doesn´t it? We would´ve still won, but most importantly, we would be together to the very end."

"Enough, Sansa," he rasped, his voice as rough and hard as an iron rasp and his face tight with anger. "We wouldn´t have won. Not like you think. We´ll worry about all of this later, little bird. We´ve come so far. But tonight- tonight we must live."

Sandor was afraid Sansa was starting to panic. He could read her so easily, and hated to see his courageous little bird of moments ago believe that death was the only bloody answer. He´d only started having hope himself, and because she made it possible, Sandor hated to think that she felt none in return sometimes. That´s why he needed to be strong for her now.

The little bird´s eyes widened at his optimism, and she nodded nervously, ashamed of how for a moment she´d wanted to take the easy way out. Sandor closed his hand around her arm, reminding himself to talk to her about this, before pulling her to the end of the corridor, with a closed door at it´s end. Sansa followed unresisting.

When they reached the door, Sandor sighed in relief. He could hear people moving on the other side, which meant they were all heading for the nearest exit up to C-Deck. The sodding door was locked though, which meant there was only one thing he could do to take care of that.

A moment later Sandor was telling Sansa to step away as he threw all his weight against the door, hitting it with his shoulder. It burst open at once under the force with a loud crashing sound, the wooden doorframe splintering apart.

"Quick," he growled, offering the little bird his hand.

When she took it, they stumbled through the shattered doorframe into the corridor, and at once Sandor realized where exactly were they on E-deck. This is Scotland Road, he thought, gazing about. It was the widest passageway in the Titanic, running almost the length of the ship and used by crew and steerage alike. Right now many Third Class passengers were moving along it, heading aft.

Sansa and Sandor started to follow them, but they hadn´t yet taken five steps when a steward, who had been herding people along, marched over to them.

"Here you," the idiot exclaimed. "You´ll have to pay for that, you know! That´s White Star Line property-"

Sandor only bothered to turn around so the man could get a good look of his angry face. The man paled as he caught sight of his burns and shut the fuck up, as Sandor knew he would. Leading Sansa by the hand past the dumbfounded steward, they joined the steerage stragglers. It some places the corridor was almost completely blocked by large families carrying every bit of luggage they owned.

He shook his head as he spared a glance in their direction. Sandor knew why they were doing that, but it also made him feel irritated that they couldn´t grasp how the situation was beyond salvaging their earthly goods, few as they were.

"Here, lass," a woman suddenly told Sansa in an Irish voice. She handed her a blanket, and nodded at Sandor before explaining, "It´s not much for such a big man, but he should cover himself up. His lips have turned blue."

Sandor stared in surprise, unable to say a word, taken aback by the stranger´s generosity and by the fact that she wasn´t afraid to look at his face. A man that looked a lot like her caught up with them as they hurried down Scotland Road, and offered Sansa and him a flask of whiskey.

"Cheers," Sandor growled, accepting it.

He handed it over to the little bird first, telling her that it would serve to take the chill off. She took a big drink, and Sandor grinned before following suit. When he gave the man his flask back, he and the Irishwoman moved away from them, nodding at them after Sansa and Sandor had thanked them simultaneously, she with all her pretty courtesies, and he with a brief thank you that came out as a grunt. He was not used to the kindness of strangers, but he covered himself up with the small blanket as best he could.

Trying a number of doors and iron gates along the way, and finding them all locked, Sandor was beginning to despair that they had reached a dead end when he heard a familiar voice calling out his name.

"Sandor! Sandor!"

He turned and saw Elbert Broder pushing his way through the crowd towards him. Making sure the little bird was right beside him, Sandor close the space between him and the German doctor, and before he knew it, both of them were hugging like long lost brothers.

"I´m fucking glad to see you, old man," Sandor told his friend, grinning as he released him.

"Likewise!" Elbert replied, before realizing Sansa was also here, his eyes widening in shock. "But- but Miss Stark, you should be on a lifeboat!"

"It´s a long story," the little bird answered, smiling at the doctor. "But I am glad to see you again, even though it´s under these circumstances."

"Yes, about that," Broder said nervously, looking at both of them in turn. "Two men came down to Third Class hours ago, asking around about you two. From what I heard, you are now believed to be Jack Dawson´s girl, Miss Stark."

"Yes, we know about that, but we´ll explain later. As Sansa said, it´s a long story… We´re at the aft of the ship, aren´t we?" Sandor wondered, trying to figure out where the next exit from this deck could be.

Elbert nodded just as Jack Dawson, Tommy Ryan, Fabrizio de Rossi, his Norwegian girlfriend and her family appeared.

"Doctor, why did you just take off like that? We- Oh, Sansa!" Dawson stopped talking as he reached them and caught the little bird´s eyes.

"Hello Jack!" Sansa exclaimed, looking pleased to see her friends.

As she began greeting them all and the three young men started talking to her as if he wasn´t even there, Sandor decided it was not the time to gets jealous about Dawson. Why I should, I don´t bloody know. The little bird had given him no cause, but he just couldn´t help it.

Guessing correctly what was going on through his head, Elbert said, "The boats are all going. I guess you´re both just as lost and desperate as the rest of us. We´re trying to search for a way out since the main stairwell is overcrowded. There´s a gate right ahead up to the upper decks though. We were all heading there when I caught sight of you. Thank God we both stand out in a crowd."

Sandor nodded absentmindedly, gazing around over the heads of the solidly packed crowd clogging the corridor. This place was a fucking mess, so it was no wonder why everyone looked confused. Nearby there was a mother changing a baby´s diaper on top of an upturned steamer trunk, and a few steps before them another woman was arguing heatedly with a man in Serbo-Croatian, a wailing scrawny looking child next to them.

Then, there was also a man kneeling down so he could console a woman who was simply sitting on the floor, sobbing. And a whole family was blocking the corridor as they waited patiently for the father to find the meaning to a sign in his English-Arabic dictionary. Other passengers had their suitcases and duffel bags with them, despite the fact that most of them looked soaked through. And none of them is wearing their lifebelts, he thought in disbelief, before reminding himself to find two for Sansa and himself as soon as he could.

Refusing to let the little bird eventually drown in this place, Sandor bid Broder to join them as he took Sansa´s hand again and pushed through the crowed in the direction of the stairwell Elbert had mentioned. They reached it soon enough, but Sandor almost groaned aloud as he realized that Dawson, Ryan, di Rossi and the Norwegian family had followed them. They´ll just slow us down.

Deciding to deal with them later, Sandor led the way up two decks before getting stopped by the sight before him. Up against a steel gate at the head of the stairwell, he saw that Titanic´s crew was letting a few women squeeze through the gate, opening it a foot or so. But some terrified men tried to rush through the gap, almost forcing the gate fully open.

The crewmen and stewards had to push them back, shoving and punching them before closing the gate. One of them was even brandishing a small revolver while another was holding a fire axe threateningly. When they managed to lock the gate, a cry of outrage went up among the crowd, who surged forward again, pounding against the steel and shouting in several languages. Fucking chaos!

The crew was so scared now that even if all the women and children that remained in Third Class were to appear before them, they would still most likely refuse to give them a chance. Bloody idiots, letting the situation get out of control to the point where now they had a mob. The situation seemed hopeless, but whatever Sansa and Sandor were going to do, they had better do it fast, for this deck would soon be underwater.

"Get back, you lot! Go to the main stairwell, with everyone else," a scared steward was ordering loudly. "It´ll all get sorted out there!"

Somehow, with those words Sandor finally lost patience. Time was running out faster than he would like, and this son of a bitch was not going to stand in the way of Sansa getting into a lifeboat. He stood for a moment amidst the shouts and curses, before taking one look at the scene. I can make our way through that sorry lot, he thought, staring at the screw. Releasing the little bird´s hand, Sandor handed her his blanket and barked, "Wait here!"

Acting quickly, he shoved people out of the way and strode over to a bench bolted to the floor on the landing. He began pulling at it, but it was fucking hard. Thankfully, a moment later Broder, Jack, Tommy and Fabrizio were helping him out, pitching it until the bolts sheared and the bench broke free. From somewhere nearby, Sandor realized that Sansa must have figured out what he had in mind, for he heard her shouting at the nearby passengers, "Move aside please! Quickly, move aside!"

They did as she asked and cleared a path up the stairs between Sandor and the other men and the gate. Running up the steps with the bench, they ram it into the gate with all their strength. It ripped loose at once from it´s track and fell outward, narrowly missing the scattering crew. Led by Sandor, the crowd surged through, Sansa among them.

He helped her step over the fallen gate, before taking her by the hand and snarling at the cowering steward, "If you want to keep your job with the White Star Line, you better take us to the boat deck now."

The man stared at Sandor for a moment. He knew that the light was painting his burned face with yellow shadows, which would make it look even more terrible than it did in daylight. And some seconds of staring at it was enough for the steward to nod dumbly and motion for them all to follow him.

"Here´s your blanket," the little bird chirped beside him, handing it over to him. "It´s going to be really cold outside."

Sandor thanked her and kissed the top of her head as they all made their way up to C-deck. As they rounded a corner he caught Elbert Broder´s approving eye. He was right, Sandor thought. He knew there was still for me worth living for, and I found it. And I´ll try my damn best to keep it. He put a hand on Sansa´s back, beneath her long auburn hair, to steer her before him, afraid to loose her in the gathering crowd that was following them.

At long last, they reached the boat deck from the crews´ stair just aft of the ship´s third funnel. Sandor, having shoved the steward out of the way, burst through the door, quickly followed by the little bird, Broder, Dawson, Ryan, di Rossi, the Norwegian family, the shaken steward, and a couple more others who had joined in along the way. His relief at reaching the boat deck was short lived though. The moment they were outside, Sandor noticed two things first: the night air was fucking freezing, and all the boats were gone, their empty davits alone remaining.

A couple of dogs ran by, which meant that things up here were bad enough if they had decided to release the First Class pets from the kennels. Before he could even fear that they were too late, Sansa ran away towards an old man Sandor recognized as Colonel Gracie. He was chugging forward along the deck, escorting two First Class ladies.

The sight of them made Sandor sigh in relief, for their presence could mean that there was still space on some lifeboat somewhere along Titanic for Sansa to get in and be safe. Following her, Sandor heard her asking even as she tried to catch her breath, "Colonel, are there any boats left?"

It took the old fool a moment to recognize Sansa. He looked at the little bird´s bedraggled, flushed state, and answered, "Yes, miss. There are still a couple of boats all the way forward. This way, I´ll lead you!"

That was all Sandor needed. He grabbed Sansa´s hand before racing past Gracie, Elbert, Dawson and Tommy following close behind. They ran by the First Class orchestra as they struck up a lively waltz, and Sandor snorted at the sight of them still playing even though no one as paying them any mind.

"Music to drown by," Broder exclaimed behind him. "Now I know I´m in First Class!"

But this was nothing like First Class, Sandor thought. All around them the world seemed to be falling apart. Some distance away he saw Captain Smith by the rail shouting through a large metal megaphone to one of the boats pulling away from the ship to come back, while an officer beside him blew a whistle and waved his arms.

The fools´ hopes were dashed soon enough, Sandor noticed, as the captain wearily lowered his megaphone slowly. Poor wretch, he thought. His brilliant career is going to end with one of history´s biggest maritime disasters. For Sandor knew that a captain was meant to go down with his ship if there were people still on board.

Ahead, they passed a man tossing deck chairs over the rail and Sandor wondered despairingly why there seemed to be no rescue ship nearby. Surely they sent fucking calls for assistance, didn´t they? That had been one of his hopes of getting off Titanic soon enough.

It would´ve been a God damned perfect solution to keep Sansa from being left alone, but now the lifeboats would be unable to ferry passengers from the sinking ship to the rescue ship. No, instead they would just float by aimlessly, waiting to be rescued sooner rather than later.

He imagined what it must be like for those First Class women in the boats as they saw Titanic angled down into the water, with the bow rail about less than ten feet above the surface. The great liner, its rows of lights blazing, slanting down into the sullen black mirror of the Atlantic...

And from what he could see at this distance, the lifeboats were being launched barely half-full. The level of disorganization by the crew made Sandor mad, and he only grew angrier as he heard the roar of the water cascading into the ship below them. He pushed his way to the rail, the little bird behind him, and saw that twenty feet below them the sea was pouring into the staterooms of B-deck.

Suddenly, a distress rocket exploded overhead like a thunderclap, sending out white starbursts that lit up the entire deck as they fell. Startled faces turned upward, Sansa and Sandor´s included. He noticed that beside them, that man with the camera they´d met yesterday was cranking away at his machine again, hoping to get an exposure of the rocket´s light. His woman was posing in front of the camera as the man directed her, saying bullshit like, "You´re afraid, darling. Scared to death- yes, that´s it!"

Sandor thought that either she had suddenly learned to act, or else she was petrified. The couple recognized Sansa, and greeted her almost cheerfully. Shaking his head, Sandor returned his attention to the German doctor and the other men.

"You better go check the other side," Sandor told them, willing to risk getting separated from his friend if that made it easier for each man to find a way to get into a lifeboat.

No one would let four men take the place of the women, especially if they had no money to buy their seats. And Broder and Sandor were big enough to take two spaces on a boat. Besides, I don´t want to keep them from finding a way off the ship just because I want to make sure I see the little bird safe inside a boat.

Broder must have known that there was a chance this could very well be the last time they saw each other, for he put a hand on Sandor´s shoulder and said, "Good luck, Sandor Clegane. Look out for Miss Stark, and may God have mercy on us all."

There he goes again, talking about God. Sansa on the other hand was staring at Elbert wide eyed as he turned and ran off, followed by Dawson and Ryan, after the former had actually kissed the little bird´s cheek in farewell. Sandor´s eyes were set on Elbert Broder´s eyes as his friend searched for a way around the deckhouse, and then he was lost amongst the crowd.

"Oh Sandor, look," Sansa whispered, tugging at his elbow as she leaned her head on his arm. "The Straus!"

Sandor followed the direction of her gaze to the finely dressed old couple. The businessman and co-owner of Macy´s, the department store, was standing with his wife nearby, apparently pleading with her.

"Please, Ida," Isidor Straus was saying. "Get into the boat."

"No," the old lady replied. "We´ve been together for forty years, and where you go, I go. Don´t argue with me, Isidor. You know it does no good."

Turning to a woman dressed as a maid, Sandor saw Mrs. Straus handing off her fur coat to her and saying, "I won´t need this anymore. You take it, child."

The maid and a couple of officers began to plead with the old lady to escape while she still could, but she refused them too. The old man, recognizing he was defeated, looked at his wife with great sadness and love before pulling her gently close to him. Sandor looked away then, not even surprised that he was able to recognize those feelings in others when he himself was experiencing them. But it made him uncomfortable to think that there was a chance Sansa and he would not be able to reach that age together.

The little bird was very quiet as she stood beside him, staring at the old couple with big round eyes. Sandor glanced around the deck, scowling, for the pace of the crew´s work had now become more frantic. Both crew and officers alike were running all over the deck, their previous complacency gone. And all around them chaos and confusion was growing as well. A woman was calling for a child, a man was shouting over people´s heads, and a woman was taking hold of an officer´s arm as he was about to launch a boat.

"Will you hold a moment?" she asked him. "I just have to run back to my room for something-"

Before she could say another word, the officer grabbed her and shoved her bodily into the boat. Then he shouted, "She´s the last one. Lower away!"

Determined that Sansa would be aboard the next boat, Sandor was about to go ask the officer if he could go along with her, when the man exclaimed to a gathering of people before him, "Women and children, please! Women and children only! Step back, sir. No, sorry sir. No met are allowed yet. That´s protocol."

Fuck! Sandor thought, despairing. A part of him wanted to go find another boat, one that would allow men in, but he was not about to risk the little bird´s life for that. No, not even if Sandor knew she would loathe their separation just as much she would. Panic would soon be settling in for good, and he didn´t want Sansa anywhere near this ship when everything started to fall apart.

But this is for the best, he reminded himself. We were lucky enough to find that boats were still being launched. I´ll see her safe inside one and then I´ll do my sodding best to somehow survive this and meet her on the rescue ship.

What they would do then, Sandor had no idea. But hopefully he would have time to figure that out the moment he was off Titanic. Seeing that Sansa was shivering with cold, and thinking about how this could very well be the last moments they spent together, Sandor wrapped his arms around her. He wanted to tell her so many things, but they all seemed to choke on his throat. The little bird buried her face on his chest, not speaking either. Maybe there´s no need for us to say anything. All we could say to each other, we already know.