Tattoos and Tears
Chapter 25: Winter Chill
The lookout was starting to get smaller; the walls seem to move towards me as the days go by. It had been a little over two months since we made this wooden structure in the sky our new home and winter had descended upon us with a vengeance.
I can only guess it's late December or early January, the pine trees looked like something from a Christmas card with the fresh blanket of snow. Standing on the catwalk, I'm staring out on the lake below as Rick and Daryl make a water run.
My very large belly had become cumbersome, Daryl wanting me to stay inside and not risk traveling the slippery metal stairs. I was on the edge of cabin fever and these brief visits outside weren't ebbing that need to stretch my legs.
T-Dog walks around from the back, his hand going to my belly. "The baby been kicking much today?"
"Some, but not much. I think it knows when I'm tryin to sleep, that's when the kicking really starts." I move his hand to the bottom of my belly, letting him feel the foot pressing there.
I hear someone clear their throat, turning to see Lori. "I'm going to the shed to get Maggie and Glenn, you need anything?"
The storage shed had become the romantic alone time spot, Daryl and I had visited there a few times after Glenn cleaned it out. It had been weeks since Daryl had been with me, when he kisses me it's so soft and gentle I think he's afraid I might go in labor from that slight amount of bliss.
One thing was for certain, I was ready to have this baby. This pregnancy is nothing like my first; Beryl was a breeze and this one, a labor of love.
Turning back to Lori from my random thoughts, I smile at her and rub the tiny belly that was now showing on her. "I'm good. Lori … can you see if there is any more canned fruit? I've been craving it all day."
"Sure thing, you've not been eating enough as it is." She makes her way down the icy steps, T-Dog helping her down.
Carol is cutting up some deer steaks when I walk back in, Carl and Beryl helping her. She and I had an understanding; we're even cordial to each other. I suppose with these tight quarters, it's best to get along than to not.
Rick comes back in, his bearded cheeks and nose a rosy red. "Where's Lori?"
"Getting supplies from the shed with T … you need her?" I turn to boil the bucket of water he had brought in when I hear someone scream.
Rick and Hershel bolt out of the lookout, Carol pulling Carl and Beryl back inside. I stand at the back catwalk, seeing the men run towards the shed. Daryl looks up at me, waving for me to back up. I shake my head, sick of being treated like a china doll.
Beth walks towards me, her gloved fingers handing me a blanket. "You'll get sick out here; it's too cold not to have a coat or jacket."
"Thanks sweetie … uh, what's going on?" Beth looks over the railing, her blonde head ducking down low.
She shouts back up to me, her small voice barely making it to my ears. "Looks like a wild animal got into the shed. Daryl has it … yup … he killed it. Looks like a raccoon, nope a possum. Maggie and Glenn are in the truck … uh oh … Daddy is opening the door and helping Maggie out. Wait … there's a family of possum's."
She starts giggling as she rises back up. I start laughing with her, wishing I could see the obvious comical events below.
Daryl yells up at me, one eye squinting. "Hey B.J. … do you remember how to make the possum roast yer maw use to make?"
I walk closer to the railing, holding on tight. "Sure do, you got any of that beer left?"
Rick walks into the shed, walking out with a six pack. "I can't believe I'm about to sacrifice good beer for a possum dinner."
This moment of joviality was far and few between and much needed. Up till now, we'd had to fight walkers, a few marauders that came too close and one very hungry bear.
Things hadn't been easy, Glenn and Daryl had been on a few runs but supplies always seem to run low real fast.
I go back inside, Carol putting the deer steaks in the frying pan. "Looks like we're having a feast tonight."
"You could say that, if you like roasted possum." She and I grin as the kids watch the steak sizzles in the pan.
After Daryl cleans our dinner, he brings it up and I go about making it eatable. I pour a few beers in the pot with it, letting the meat soak for a while.
Everyone enjoys the deer steaks and canned beans while they wait for the roast to get done. I devour the can of fruit cocktail Lori had brought up for me, my stomach turning at the smell of the fried meat.
"Are you sure you don't want any?" Glenn reaches a plate towards me as I recoil away.
"I'm good." I shove another spoon full of fruit in my mouth, Daryl watching me intently.
When the roast is done, I pull it out of the oven. It smelled like the ones my mom had made, the beer taking away the wild game taste of the meat.
Daryl digs in, popping a finger full into his mouth. He holds a bite of the meat out for me and I open my mouth as he pushes it over my lips. The grease from his fingers feels good against my parched lips, the taste of the meat not too bad.
"I'm gonna on a run with Glenn tomorrow. We're too low on canned food and I'm gonna get some thangs for the baby. Hershel said it's only a matter of weeks now." He chews on the chunk of meat in his mouth, licking his fingers.
"I think we got a while Daryl, the baby is still too active to be comin soon." He smiles at me, Beryl wiping the grease from her fingers on Daryl's shirt.
The night comes and brings with it a fresh snow. I can see the flakes wisp about in the wind, the lookout wasn't holding heat tonight, even with the wood stove pipes glowing red.
I curl into Daryl tight, Beryl wrapped around me. Her little head rests on my big bump as her legs are hanging over Daryl. I feel my man's big strong arms around me, his lips occasionally brushing a kiss on my neck.
My dreams are of warm days back at the farm, laying in the meadow with Daryl as he tenderly makes love to me on my favorite blanket. His hands and lips worship my body, his hips rocking with a rhythm that sends waves of bliss washing over me. My hands roll over his tight muscles, over his tan skin and I want to let my fingertips feel every inch of him. As my body climbs higher, I feel his need for me burn through him, his hips moving in a wanton speed. I grip is broad shoulders, tilting my head back as my body finds the joy that only my husband can give me.
When I wake, I can feel the goosebumps over my skin as Daryl's fingers slowly travel up and down my arm. "Mornin beautiful."
Before I can turn around to answer him, Beryl is wedging in between us and kissing her father's cheek. "Mornin Daddy."
He picks her up, kissing her small face over and over. She giggles as she tosses her head back and forth, my back aching as I rise from the floor.
We go about our morning chores, Daryl and Glenn packing for the run. He walks over to me with his backpack over his shoulder. "We're going close, I'll be back by nightfall."
With those words, he pulls me in his arms and gives me a kiss that I feel all the way to my toes. I don't say a word as he wipes his lips with his thumb, Glenn smirking over at us.
I watch him walk down the stairs and climb in the truck, Glenn waving at Maggie from the passenger side window.
The day goes by, Rick and Hershel making plans to leave the lookout as soon as the weather turns. Rick was sure there was something more fortified out there, something we could actually call home.
"We need high walls, fences, anythang that can be used to keep those damn things out. I know it's out there Hershel, we just have to find it." Rick looks over at me as a small pain hits my back.
"Anything with high walls strong enough to keep out walkers is gonna be in more populated areas Rick, that's dangerous." Hershel reaches over to take my hand sitting me down beside him.
I grab my back, the pain getting worse. "It's okay … I'm good Hershel."
He waves Carol and Maggie over, his fingers going to my wrist. "You're in pain, your pulse is too fast and you've not been eating. We both know you're in labor; this baby has been getting ready for days. All that kicking is this little one moving into place."
"No … no, I know labor pains … this isn't labor Hershel." I place both hands on my back as another pain hits me.
Carol puts her hand on my shoulder, her smile making me wonder. "I had lots of back labor with Sophia, I thought it was just normal pains at first but then the real contractions hit. We're here for you Bobbi Jo, we'll get you through this."
This couldn't be happening, Daryl wasn't back yet and I was sure I was a few weeks from full term. Hershel sees my worry, placing an arm around my shoulder.
Maggie, you and Bethy get a space ready, put up a blanket for privacy. Lori, I need you to help Carol boil some water and get me the medical supplies we have. Rick, I will need more water than we have, so you'll need to make another run to the lake.
Everything was happening so fast, this was really happening. I was going to have our baby, here in this lookout. Beryl starts to cry for me as they take me to the back corner of the lookout, placing a blanket up as a curtain.
Carl takes her hand, taking her over to the building blocks Glenn had got for her on the last run. "Carl, you keep her busy while we help B.J. I need you to be a big boy, okay."
"I'm not a baby; I can take care of her." Carl scowls at his mother, his eyes dark and brooding.
After Maggie helps me out of my jeans, Hershel gives me a quick exam. "You're dilated. Your water should break soon."
I grip the blanket under me, the back pain now radiating towards my abdomen. "Hershel, I'm not ready. We don't have any clothes or diapers or …"
He smiles at me, kissing my forehead. "This baby has you, that's all it needs for now."
As another pain hits the night starts to fade to dawn, my water breaks and I know with or without my husband, I was about to bring our child into this god awful world.