Day Eighty Eight – Say Hello to Goodbye
For the next hour, Damon remained silent, listening to Caroline's improbable tale, the unlikely story of how she traveled from the twenty-first century to modify the turn of events, with the sole purpose of saving his life.
His eyes widened when she told him that, in her world, both he and Stefan were vampires, sired by none other than Katherine. He almost laughed when she told him about the unhealthy relationship the brunette had with both he and his brother. Damon internally snorted - if she wanted to make up something, she could have at least made it believable. He would never, ever, try to steal Katherine away from Stefan.
He listened to the story of how their father discovered the vampires and killed them both for taking the wrong side. His eyes welled up, despite his efforts to get a hold of himself, when she got to the part where Stefan accidentally killed Giuseppe, completed his transition, and made Damon complete it as well. She didn't leave out that from that moment on, the brothers would have the most confrontational relationship. She patiently explained to him that, although he was really in love Katherine, the vampire compelled Stefan to make him more accepting of her nature.
And then, there was the story of this girl, named Elena, in the twenty-first century, who looked exactly like Katherine – a doppelgänger. He did laugh when Caroline, failing to suppress a roll of her eyes, mentioned that he and Stefan would fall in love with her friend, which would only revive the hostility between them. Once again, he internally snorted. He would not do that to Stefan. Stefan was everything he had, the person he loved the most on the planet – he would simply not do that.
This story didn't make any sense. Especially not when she told him about how his vampire self met a human version of her, used her as tool to rescue Katherine from a tomb in which she wasn't. Caroline told him that she had feelings for him – feelings that he turned against her. His eyes widened when she recounted how he shamelessly bit on her, compelled her, and made her feel terrible about herself. Despite the confusing feelings he was experiencing at the moment, he couldn't see himself being such a monster to her. Disrespecting her as a woman and feeding on her? No way.
Then she told him about her car accident and the fact they he gave her blood to heal her. And finally, she told him how Katherine came back to Mystic Falls after 145 years to claim her love for Stefan, killing her in the process. Which made him her Sire.
No, really, none of this made any sense, at all.
However, he could have believed her, if not for the oh-so-numerous supernatural elements in her narrative. He already had a hard time believing that vampires could exist, and there she was, telling him about witches, werewolves and Original Vampires. Hybrids, curses, sacrifices, and dead witches, nonetheless. Time travel, for God's sake.
Her voice went unsteady as she began to talk about a certain werewolf and the lethal bite it inflicted on him. According to her, nothing except the blood of Klaus – the only wolf-vampire hybrid in the world – could cure a werewolf bite. He quickly deduced that Klaus had denied them a vial of his blood, given how they had fooled him with the resurrection of the doppelganger after the sacrifice. She concluded her story on: "I owe you my life. It made sense that I should be the one to come here while Stefan stayed behind to protect the others. And so I let Bonnie's ancestors bring me back here. The rest, you know."
And then, she went quiet again, after what seemed an eternity. Their eyes met for the first time since she had started to talk and he raised an eyebrow at her.
"Let us consider that I believe you for one second," he said, his voice hoarse. "You let a vampire compel my brother! You let her into our house and you befriended her! She turned Stefan into a monster, and he killed his own father! You knew all of this would happen, yet you did nothing!" he yelled. "Is this the moment when you look me in the eye and ask for my forgiveness? For us to start over now that I know all of this?"
"The only way we'll see this through was for me to tell you everything," she said, visibly exhausted. "The entire truth."
"You know nothing about the truth, Caroline," he spat with dazed horror in his eyes. "Is that even your name? I don't know who you are."
"I know this is overwhelming for you, darling – "
"Do not call me that. I am not your darling. Everything we have been through was a lie. Everything you just said to me was a lie! And if it wasn't, well, my brother is a demon and my father is dead! If you did love me, you would have done something about it!" he exclaimed, his anger flaring up again.
"If I can prove to you that I am telling the truth, will you forgive me for lying?"
"You can't prove what isn't true," he says dismissively.
"Yes, I can, because I am not lying. Will you give me a chance to prove myself, Damon?"
After a moment of silence, he sighed.
"From where I stand, I have no father, no brother and no fiancée anymore," he whispered. "I have nothing left to lose but my sanity."
"We have spent the whole night together, is that right?" she asked with a little more confidence, trying to ignore that in his eyes, their relationship belonged to the past. "I never left your side until I came to meet your father earlier, is that right?"
"Yes, Caroline," he sighed. "Or whatever your name might be. That is right."
"So it is impossible for me to know what has happened to Stefan, is that right?"
"Get to the point," he says sternly, slightly annoyed with her beating around the bush.
"Do you remember what I told you about vampires entering a house?"
"I do not see what this has to do with your pathological tendency to lie."
She couldn't help a small laugh at that – typical Damon. She almost liked that even in a moment like this, he remained witty. Damon rolled his eyes at the sound. Was that some sort of joke to her? He didn't know why he was still listening to this woman. He should simply grab the closest piece of wood and drive it through her cold, dead heart. But his own heart was very alive, and very full of love for her – for who I thought she was. And so he listened, holding on to the foolish hope that her incredible tale was true, so that he could reasonably love her again. Because he was brotherless and fatherless and he needed someone to hold on to, and he desperately wanted that someone to be her.
"Very well," he conceded. "A vampire must be invited in. But this is Stefan's home."
"Your father was the owner of the house. Now that he…isn't anymore, his belongings are yours, as the eldest son. This house is yours, Damon."
"You are saying that unless I invite my vampire brother in, he won't be able to get inside? How does that prove anything?" he asks, not losing his focus.
"I will find Stefan and bring him back here. When you see that he is stuck outside, will you believe me?"
He silently nodded.
It was barely hours ago. Mere hours since she brought Stefan back to the house after making sure nobody would see them, and hours after Damon's heart stopped when his brother was blocked out of the house by an invisible barrier. He took a deep breath and accepted that his life had turned into a nightmare with surprising composure. He simply turned to her, ordered her to fix this. She was very aware that, as soon as Stefan would be able to handle himself, Damon wouldn't speak to her again. He made it quite clear.
The blonde has forbidden Damon to invite Stefan in, and despite his burning need to tell her to just fuck off, he complied; she has made sure none of the servants would, either. She promised to take care of his brother, somewhere in the forest, with the help of Emily Bennett, Katherine's maid – a witch. Better yet, the ancestor of Bonnie Bennett, Caroline's witchy friend from the 21st century. He doesn't ask questions about how Stefan fights the bloodlust; he doesn't want to hear about more magic spells and equally insane matters.
But for now, Damon doesn't have time to worry about Stefan. The aftermath of the vampire craze from the previous night has had consequences and many bodies have been found around town, including his father's. There were much more vampires in town that he and Caroline suspected – people were under compulsion, some others were found with bite marks. It was pure horror.
Driven by the nonsensical fear that those who were bitten could turn into vampires, the townspeople have decided to have a collective burial. Sherriff Forbes came to deliver the news to Damon, not failing to mention that Giuseppe, as a Founding family member, would be sepulchered with the honors.
And indeed – standing in the cemetery right now, it seems that virtually every person Damon has ever known is there, except for Stefan. The cemetery is crowded with weeping people, as though they have just lost their own father.
Former girlfriends have come to squeeze his hand with sympathizing smiles, some of his father's friends have offered to keep him and his fiancée company at the house. Mayor Lockwood has made a very touching speech about his loss – a painful loss for the town, also – and assured him that everyone would do everything in their power to help him through this terrible period.
Words don't make any sense to Damon anymore. He simply stands there and looks at the body of this man who he barely respected but deeply loved, and he feels empty. He shouldn't be able to stand on his own two feet, he knows that. The last forty eight hours of his life have been so grueling that he doesn't think that he is capable of feeling any more emotions or it'll simply kill him.
He wants to yell at those hypocritical people, tell them that they know nothing about vampires, since Caroline is standing there, next to him, accepting their condolences, and they are completely clueless. So much for Jonathan Gilbert and his so-called vampire compass. He wants to cry over the dead body of his father, because it should be a son's natural reaction.
Caroline has forced him to feed. She has picked his clothes for the ceremony. She has accepted his silence. And during the whole ceremony, she has stood next to him, dressed in a sober yet elegant black dress, crying the tears that have deserted his eyes. He lets her hold his hand, because in the midst of all this, he can't deny to himself that he needs her love more than ever.
Despite the undeniable proof that there is something true about everything she's told him, he can't bring himself to forgive her, though. Yes, she had good intentions, but how is he supposed to wrap his head around the fact that she comes from the future, where she has another life, with people he doesn't know, and with a despicable version of himself?
He honestly would like to get over this, because then, he would be alright. Loving her was easy, once upon a time, and he finds himself wanting to go back to the days when his main concern was whether she'd agree to be courted by him. But because of her lies, he systematically questions everything she ever said to him – did she ever love him at all?
When everyone is gone and they are the only ones left standing there, Damon turns to face her. It's the first time he has looked at her in the eye for a while and she's almost surprised by the greyish blue of his eyes.
"Are you going to be okay?" she asks.
"I am alone," he states shyly. "I have said farewell to the man who raised me and it will be months before I am allowed to stand in the same room with my brother."
"I never wanted any of this to happen, Damon. You have to believe me."
"I do," he confesses, and she immediately smiles. "But, what now?"
She doesn't answer right away. She can't. He senses her hesitation, and it only encourages him to speak up.
"Caroline, you do know that my life is hanging by a thread right now?" he states. "There is only you in my life."
Caroline clearly perceives that he wishes things were different. And she wants that for him. She wants him to be surrounded with love; she wants him to have friends to rely on, just like she has Bonnie and Elena. She wants to bring Stefan back to him.
"I am sorry," she says awkwardly.
"The funny thing is that I don't even know who the only person I have left is. On the one hand, there is Caroline Jones, who lied to me so many times that I don't know whether I can trust her. This wonderful, bubbly girl who made me fall in love with her and broke my heart. And now, I know that she was nothing more than a character you played."
Caroline sighs. She has never been more reduced to silence than over the last two days. Damon always states inevitable truths that she can't deny. You lied. We weren't mean to fall in love. Stefan trusted you and you let him down. You say Katherine is your friend but you didn't help her. She has done so many things wrong that she doesn't even understand how he is still capable of looking at her. Especially in a moment like this, standing next to his father's grave. A father she could have saved if only she had been brave enough.
"And on the other hand, there is Caroline Forbes, a vampire from the year 2011," he pursues. "The real you. A girl who's had other men in her life and who doesn't love the Damon Salvatore from 1864, no more than she loves the one from 2011."
She frowns to herself, wondering how she can give a proper answer to that. Telling him about this double identity has stirred a lot of questions in herself, too. Typically : did she really fall in love with him, or what is just a product of this very particular set of circumstances? Who was it that fell in love with him? Caroline Jones or Caroline Forbes? Who is she, right now?
Just a girl whose heart is breaking at the thought of leaving him.
Because yes – she is going to leave, very soon. When she walked Stefan back to the small house where Emily was waiting for him, the witch announced to Caroline that she'd be sent back shortly. At first, she felt relieved, because it meant that she had saved Damon. She closed her eyes for a second and imagined what it would be like to wake up in her own bed, to have silly arguments with her mother about curfew. She thought she'd finally be able to have a sleepover at Bonnie's and talk about everything that had happened. But Emily frowned disapprovingly. And then, Caroline understood.
She heaves a deep sigh. She doesn't have time to lose.
"I was not always pretending, you know," she answers after a while. "Just in the beginning, but then, I –,"
"How am I supposed to tell?"
"You can't," she admits sadly. "I know."
"You don't understand, Caroline," he says. "I'm so torn. I should hate you with everything I have."
"Then why don't you?" she says in a strangled voice.
Her eyes shine with hope, and soon after with sadness. He is right, he should hate her. But she is everything he has left, and so, he feels the need to hold on to her. He doesn't have to say it. She can see so many conflicting emotions in his eyes. Struggling for dominance, is the love he had – still has – for her, for every sweet word they have exchanged, for every moment they have spent together.
"Because I'm not strong enough," he confesses. "Because I want to believe that happiness can result of this chaos. Because I want to believe you when you tell me that you love me."
She bites into her lower lip as the wind blows her hair in front of her eyes, clouding her vision. In his black attire, with his jaw clenched and his eyes red and swollen, Damon just looks like he needs to be pulled into a tight embrace and be never let go of. More than anything in this moment, she wants to be the one to hold his hand through this. She wants to keep helping Stefan until he has his cravings completely under control. She wants to be there when the two brothers will finally be able to be just brothers again.
But she won't.
Her hand comes to rest on Damon's cheek. He stiffens a little, but doesn't pull away.
"I hope life treats you kind, Damon," she says lovingly. "You've had more than your share of sorrows. I hope your brother comes back to you soon, because you still have him to rely on. You and Stefan must stick together, because you're each other's best ally in adversity, like you've always been."
"Why are you telling me this?"
"I need you to hear these things," she says. "Please just hear me out."
He throws a worried look at her, and she knows that he is smart – he knows that something is going wrong. Again. It's just the third time this week that he'll lose someone he loves, no big deal, yeah, whatever.
"I hope that you find a woman who will love you unconditionally," she says, struggling to hold back her tears. "Make her fight for it, okay? Don't settle for anyone, because a wonderful man like yourself should only be with someone who wants him more than anything."
"Caroline –," he starts, reaching into his pocket. "Why does that sound like goodbye?"
"Because it is," she admits.
"No way in Hell," he protests. "You can't do this to me, not now!"
"I want you to remember, for the rest of your life, that there is someone out there who loves you more than anything. Know this. I may have been with other men before, you are the one who taught me what the true meaning of love is."
Damon shakes his head in denial, refusing to pay attention to her words. She can almost see him breaking down. She wishes she could take her time to do this – she wishes he could have time to get used to the idea.
She puts her hands on his cheeks and her thumbs caress his skin lightly. He puts his hands on top of hers, and the unexpected gesture breaks her heart. Gotta love the drama, witches bitches. Just when he wants me back, you're taking me away.
"Is it because you told me everything?" he asks.
"No," she lies and he lets out an incredulous laugh.
"I don't believe you."
"Okay, fine. Yes, it's because I told you."
"When are you leaving?" he asks, scared of the answer. Anything will be too soon.
"Tomorrow, I don't know exactly when."
"Tomorrow? But what about Stefan?" Damon asks suddenly. "Who's going to help him if you leave?"
"Don't worry, he will cross paths with someone who'll do a better job than I ever could," she whispers, remembering that Vampire Stefan told her about his friend Lexi. "She'll take good care of him."
Silence doesn't have time to settle in between them – Damon can almost hear the clock ticking inside of his head and he doesn't want to waste the slightest second. There are so many things that he hasn't told her – and contrary to what happened with his father and to Stefan, this time, he actually has the opportunity to speak to her one last time.
"Does this mean that you've saved…me, I mean, the future me?"
"I don't know, they won't tell," she admits. "But Katherine is gone and Stefan can't get inside of the house. The main purpose was for me to stop you from falling in love with her and keeping you human, so I guess … I've accomplished my mission, even though, for some reason, I was supposed to stay longer."
"Then why bring you back? It'll mean you've done all of this for nothing," he exclaims, positively shocked at the injustice of it all.
"I knew I wasn't allowed to tell, Damon."
"Then why did you?"
"I was tired of lying. I wanted you to know that there was a good reason behind my decisions, even the ones you disapproved of."
What good a reason, Damon thinks. She has been going through all of these cruel, nonsensical, supernatural, exhausting, painful moments for almost three months now, simply because she wants to save his life. How could he possibly blame her for this, now that she's about to be taken away from him? The thought of having her gone violently awakens something inside of him – a need to live to the fullest, every second they have left together. I'll have the rest of my life to be angry with her.
"Caroline, listen," he starts, but she cuts him off before her courage escapes her.
"No, Damon, you listen," she commands, letting her eyes dive into his.
"Don't you dare," Damon mumbles when he understands that she's about to compel him; but he doesn't move. "Darling, don't!"
She winces at his choice of words – obviously, he's trying to pull at her heartstrings with the nickname. She leans in to kiss him one last time, and he lets her. Their lips dance together with a passion that seems out of place in a cemetery. Damon clings to the bodice of her dress, oblivious to the terrible moments they've been through lately – because at the end of the day, she's the only one he has left and she's his Caroline, she's his darling. Caroline can feel the warmth of his embrace, and somehow, it makes her feel a little better, because she now knows that, if she could have stayed, they would have gotten their "Happily Ever After".
After a moment, she rests her forehead against his, letting him catch his break.
"Stay with me until tomorrow," he says, fully aware that she'll decline.
"Goodbye, my love," she whispers.
The blonde gathers her courage and pulls away from him.
"I want you to forget everything I told you about the future," she commands, using her supernatural compulsion powers. "Forget that I am a vampire and everything that's related to it. When I'm gone, remember only this: we met, we fell in love and we were going to get married when your father and brother died. I had to return to California. I want you to carry on with your life and not miss me."
She is about to speed off to gather her possessions at the house when Damon grabs her arm.
"Mind you, Caroline Forbes," he says with a slightly amused smile at her flabbergasted face. "You can't always get what you want."
Shocker : Caroline is being punished, which leaves a huge question mark when it comes to Damon being saved or not. Other shocker : Damon resists compulsion! Who knows how? ;) What did you think about his conflicted feelings? Tell me everything !
Next chapter is the last one, folks. Of course, there will be an Epilogue so, two more updates and we're done. Review while you can ;)
- M. -
PS : For those of you who love Daroline (which is, like, every single one of you), my friend xthesebonesx has published a steamy Daroline OS last week, titled "Trading Places" after I challenged her to write something based off a song. GO READ IT. NOW. (It's in my Favorites)