Everything in Between
Chapter 25
--
"So, Valentine's Day this weekend." Kankurou stood next to Sasuke, who was waiting for Naruto to make him tea in the café while his eyes sat fixed on the blonde's rear. "You two doing something special?"
"What?" Sasuke frowned, and then looked thoughtful. "Am I supposed to?"
"Um, well, yeah." Kankurou couldn't help laughing slightly. "I mean, it's fucking Valentine's Day. Do you want no sex for like a month? They get pissed if you don't do anything."
"Naruto isn't a woman." Sasuke hissed, turning away for a bit so that Naruto might not overhear the conversation. His face looked a bit concerned, though. "Do you think he expects me to do something?"
"Well, if you guys are supposed to be in love, that's the day for it." Kankurou pointed out, pulling Sasuke further away from the counter, towards his goal. "You're telling me you've got nothing planned?"
"I can do something, I guess." Sasuke looked like he might break out in a cold sweat, and in his sudden state of unbalance, he allowed himself to be pulled further away from Naruto, toward the far end of the café.
"Well, it should be something that means a lot." Kankurou paused and did his best to look thoughtful, before snapping his fingers as though catching onto a grand idea. "You know, the other day he was telling me that he hates that you guys have never gone on like, a double date with Neji and Gaara, you know, like a big gay party kind of thing. You know how Naruto likes parties."
"Uh…yeah." Sasuke looked extremely wary. "But I don't really think…"
"You should see if they'd want…oh look! There's Neji! You should talk to him." Kankurou pushed him toward a booth with a single occupant. "It would mean so much to Naruto just to see you two speaking to each other again."
"But…wouldn't he suspect something?" Sasuke frowned.
"He might, but that's part of the excitement for him! He knows you're planning something, he doesn't know what. It'll be awesome, trust me. Oh, I'll grab your tea for you, go ahead."
"I don't…" Sasuke scowled as he was left only a foot from Neji, who looked up at him with one arched brow, as though trying to predict whether or not this would be a normal encounter or one that involved a lot of punching. Sasuke knew how much Naruto cared about all his friends, and when he really paused to think about it, they never really did get to spend any time with Neji or Gaara, since the two typically came together, and ever since their little tryst, Sasuke did not want to come anywhere near Neji. He knew that must be torturing Naruto, who would never say anything, always sacrificing his wants for Sasuke's comfort. Not this time. This time he'd make it up to the blonde. "Hyuuga."
"Hey Sasuke." Neji smiled in a way that made Sasuke want to punch him. Instead, he sat down across from him. "You want something? I'm sorry to say, I can't serve up the regular, considering Gaara, and all."
"Would you stop being a snarky pain in the ass for ten seconds?" Sasuke snapped, accepting his tea from Kankurou. "Look, do you have anything planned with Gaara for Valentine's Day?"
"Wait, which day is that?" Neji dug through his bag, pulling out a planner. "Saturday…let me see…Saturday we're going to…have sex."
"Don't you think he's expecting something more than that?" Sasuke pointed out. "Think about it, he's never had a boyfriend before, he's probably never even gotten a damn Valentine, you know how rough it was for him."
"You…you know about that?" Neji narrowed his eyes, leaning forward with interest.
"You may have met Naruto. I sleep with him. He knows everyone's business." Sasuke shook his head in slight annoyance. "I know about your old whoring ways, by the by."
"Gaara knows about that." Neji answered defensively. "So don't try to—"
"Please, I'm not here to issue petty threats." Sasuke snorted. "I'm here because I know it would mean a lot to Naruto if we did something…all together. We could just go to dinner or something, nothing too tedious."
"What's in it for me?" Neji asked. "Gaara will sleep with me whether I take him out to dinner or not, trust me."
"Whatever." Sasuke rolled his eyes. "But I bet he misses being able to be around Naruto, and he needs all the friends he can get. Do you not want him to hang out with Naruto if he wants to?"
"Naruto is a good friend, I wouldn't have a problem with that." Neji rubbed his chin as he thought this over. He honestly had no problem with either Sasuke or Naruto, but ever since he had used Sasuke as part of his scheme to win Gaara, he had only really seen either of them in passing, since he knew that Sasuke was annoyed with him, and assumed from the punch in the face he'd received that Naruto was, as well. "Would he even want me there? He seemed to take our little rendezvous rather seriously."
"You know Naruto, he can't stay mad at his friends, no matter what dumbass thing they decide to do." Sasuke returned, "So?"
"Okay." Neji answered after a while. He wanted to be annoyed at Sasuke's words, but in truth, it had been rather stupid of him, and he'd caused more trouble than anything else that any of his friends had done so far that year. "Fine, it sounds fine. Do you know where we should go? Are we sharing a car? If so, I'm driving."
"We can figure all that out later." Sasuke told him. "I have to go now, but we should plan out the details as soon as possible. I'm coming back to the house around seven, think you can get away from your love nest?"
"I should ask you the same." Neji sneered, but then coughed, remembering they were supposed to be making nice. "Yes, fine, I can come by your room, unless he'll be there. I assume this is some surprise sort of thing?"
"I suppose that would be best." Sasuke nodded, getting up. "Later."
--
"Hey, Naruto." Kankurou grabbed the drink when Naruto placed it on the counter, looking around in confusion for his lover. "Why's Sasuke over there with Neji? I thought they like, hated each other ever since all that messing around together stuff ended with a bunch of fighting." He pointed, and had the great satisfaction of watching Naruto's face go very pale.
Jackpot. I knew he couldn't be over that.
"Oh…I don't know…I guess they're friends again or something." Naruto frowned, and Kankurou nodded knowingly.
"I'll go drop this off, see what's happening. They'll probably just ignore me, but if you go over…"
"Oh…sure, that's fine. I should work, anyway." Naruto told him, but he was letting Lee handle customers by himself while he stared at the pair across the café with clear suspicion in his face. Everything was going surprisingly well. Kankurou went across the café, handed off Neji's drink, and came back, doing his best to look nervous and uncomfortable.
"What?" Naruto demanded as soon as he got back.
"Well…I don't know, maybe I misheard." Kankurou shrugged and gave a weak laugh, noting with triumph the flames dancing in Naruto's eyes.
Wow, who knew he could get this pissed? He's such a laid back guy most of the time.
"What did you hear?" Naruto looked like if Kankurou didn't spit it out, he'd shake it out of him, and Kankurou decided not to hold out too much.
"Well…okay." Kankurou sighed. "But honestly, I probably just misunderstood."
"Well?!" Naruto hissed, clearly nearly frantic at this point.
"They were talking about…well, they were saying that you were working late, so they could…well, I must have heard wrong. They were going to meet somewhere, and it sounded like it was like…like they were going to meet somewhere private and…well, it couldn't have really been. I mean, Sasuke and you are like, way into each other. No way he's cheating on you." Kankurou insisted. "I think I just misunderstood."
"Oh yeah?" Naruto was fuming, clearly not very happy.
"Well, yeah, it couldn't have been that!" Kankurou insisted, laughing. "Plus, Neji's with Gaara, and I mean, okay, I did hear that Neji used to sleep around a lot, but I'm sure he's gotten past that. But Sasuke's never been with anyone before you, really, right?"
"No…he's been with a lot of people." Naruto grumbled. "Even…well, it doesn't matter. I'm sure I'm just…overreacting. If Sasuke was cheating on me with Neji, he wouldn't be dumb enough to meet him right where I can see."
"Oh yeah, for sure." Kankurou agreed at once. "And he hasn't been acting weird, right?"
"No, he's been…actually, he's been like, really into sex, like way more than usual." Naruto told him. "And I mean, he's been away a lot more, since he's got that new job."
"Really into it? Well, sometimes guys will try to throw girls off the scent like that, but I'm sure that's not the case." Kankurou nodded confidently. "And he has a job now? I thought he was rich."
"Well, he isn't getting paid." Naruto explained. "He's assistant to the head of his department."
"He isn't getting paid for that?" Kankurou shrugged. "And they wanted a freshman who hasn't even declared? Doesn't that seem a little weird?"
"Well…I don't know. But I'm sure it's nothing…nothing like that. Just…coincidence" Naruto looked as though he was trying to avoid a panic attack, and Kankurou knew it wouldn't be too hard to push him over the edge.
"It's a good thing you trust him like that." Kankurou nodded with a look of admiration on his face. "I mean, if I was with a girl who used to fuck around like that…well, I wouldn't ever want her near him, but that's me. You guys must really have some kind of thing going on. But I'm sure he's let you do that kind of stuff with him, though. I mean, if Sasuke let Neji do him like right in that bathroom, I'm sure you guys do that sort of stuff all the time."
"Well…I mean, it's different for us." Naruto flushed deeply, and Kankurou nodded in understanding. "He wouldn't…I mean, he doesn't want anyone to see."
"Oh…well, that's weird. You'd think that it would be hard for him to control himself around you." Kankurou frowned and tapped his lips considerately. "I thought you said he's like, all over you? But he never tries anything unless you're in private? Well, I mean, maybe it's harder when you're just like, in lust with someone."
"It's not…Sasuke's not…not in anything with him." Naruto huffed and went away in a hurry, going to clean dishes, slamming them about unnecessarily. Kankurou figured that was enough for now, and that he could leave it at that. Besides, he had to go talk to his brother.
--
Gaara paused on his way into the café, feeling like he must be seeing things. Sasuke and Neji talking at a table, leaning towards each other as though sharing secrets…Neji smiling, and then Sasuke left, waving to Neji, and Gaara blinked, coming back to himself. He watched Sasuke head out another door, and he pushed open the one he was standing at, striding over to talk to Neji.
"Hey man," Kankurou intercepted him. "I wouldn't go over there right now." He ushered his brother back out of the café while Gaara scowled at him in disapproval. "Something bad's going down."
"What are you talking about?" Gaara glanced over his shoulder, and wondered if Neji even remembered they were supposed to be meeting, or what was going on. Why would he talk to Sasuke? Were they supposed to suddenly get along again? Sasuke had completely refused to even speak to Neji after Gaara and Neji got together. Naruto had told him it was because Sasuke had felt used. Gaara thought maybe Sasuke was just jealous and annoyed that Neji had cast him aside so easily. That seemed much more likely.
"I don't know if I want to tell you, cause like last time, you kicked the crap out of Neji." Kankurou told him, sounding a bit worried. "And I mean, yeah, he shouldn't be sneaking around behind your back, but still, Temari'll get pissed if I let you just wail on him."
"What," Gaara turned, grabbing Kankurou's throat and shoving him against the wall, "are you talking about?"
"Sasuke and Neji keep meeting in secret." Kankurou explained. "I just found out myself, but you have to promise not to kill anyone."
"Have they," Gaara found that it was suddenly very difficult to breathe for some reason. "Are they…"
"Fucking? I don't know." Kankurou gasped for breath as Gaara released him, staring at the wall blankly and blinking at it as though there were answers on it to all of his problems.
"Meeting in secret." Gaara said the words in the tone of someone repeating a password or a mantra, as though the words were an incantation that had no real meaning to him. "Meeting in secret." He repeated. Kankurou gulped as he saw Gaara's hands clench into fists and unclench, and began to wonder, not for the first time, if this entire scheme was too dangerous, or if he would end up regretting it. "Meeting in secret."
"It could be nothing." Kankurou told him, a little concerned about his culpability if Gaara were to go and murder Sasuke right then. "Maybe they're like, planning a surprise for you, or something, or they have a class together."
"Meeting in secret." Gaara breathed the words one last time before looking up at Kankurou, blinking at him with a solemn expression on his face. "Thank you, Kankurou."
"Are you…are you going to do anything?" Kankurou couldn't help asking.
"I…don't know." Gaara told him, nodding slightly before turning very slowly and walking away, not even going into the café to talk to Neji, who Kankurou expected was probably waiting for him.
For the first time, Kankurou doubted himself. Was this worth it? Would his friends figure out what he had done to them and lynch him? Or would it work out the way he imagined, with everyone settling back into being just friends, not even wanting to date anymore, now that they'd had so much trouble?
I'm pretty sure it'll all work out. My plans are awesome.
But for now, he thought he could leave the boys alone and strike out on the final couple left on his list. He'd already brought Gaara and Naruto to such a point of suspicion and paranoia, and put Neji and Sasuke unwittingly in the position to perpetuate those feelings, that he felt he could leave that one on auto-pilot. However, now he had to deal with Shikamaru and Ino, and for this one…he'd get a little help.
Even if Temari didn't really know what she was doing.
--
Naruto felt a little nauseous the whole way home, and he wondered if he was getting a cold or if he was just worrying too much. It was stupid. Of course he trusted Sasuke. If Sasuke was spending time with Neji…that was nothing to worry about. They were in a committed relationship, and they loved each other. Sasuke would have no reason to turn to Neji for…anything. Hadn't he said he'd rather have one kiss from Naruto than sleep with Neji one hundred times? And the same went for Neji. He was devoted to Gaara, as Gaara was to him, and Neji would never turn his back on his lover. And while Naruto found he had a hard time trusting Neji after the tactics he had used to win Gaara over…well, he trusted Ino now, even after what had happened with her "advice," so there was really no reason he should hold onto this jealousy. After all, Sasuke had told him that he'd slept with a lot of men, and that none of them had ever meant anything to him, really. Honestly, if he was going to be jealous of anyone, it should be Itachi…but knowing how completely Sasuke's opinion of his brother had changed since his youth prevented him from really feeling jealous of him. In fact, if anything, he should be happy to see that they were starting to reconcile.
But when he came upstairs and saw his bedroom door opening from the stairwell…for some reason he stayed behind the stairwell door, peering through the window, his heart beating so loud he thought anyone else in the stairwell would be able to hear, his teeth worrying his lower lip as his worst fear came true, and he saw Neji's unmistakable form leaving the room. After a moment, Sasuke came to the door as well, and they spoke together about something, their faces intent and very close, their voices far too quiet for Naruto to even hope to hear where he was standing. Neji said something and Sasuke actually laughed, and somehow, that was the worst part of all. He could hear the sound, usually so musical to him, like a knife twisting in his heart, and he pulled away from the window, leaning against the wall and sliding down it to the ground, sitting there trying to regain his calm, trying to make sense of everything, trying to tell himself that it made no sense to be jealous, trying to remember those words that Sasuke had said to him before that had seemed so reassuring to him a moment ago…why weren't they working now?
I need to breathe…why is it so hard? Why is the only thing I can see…them together?
What he had just seen, and the things he'd been told about meshed together in his mind's eye, and he felt he had an inkling of how Gaara had felt that night he'd walked in on them in the bathroom.
He said he loved me…but he used to love Itachi too, and look how he feels about him now. And what Kankurou said…why is it that he can control himself around me, and just couldn't around Neji…doing something like that right in a public bathroom where anyone could walk in on him…he's never done anything so crazy with me.
What does that mean?
Naruto finally regained the power to stand, and on shaky feet, he shuffled into the hallway, down to his bedroom, and opened the door. He couldn't help wondering if he'd come home from work early, what he might have seen when he had done this. Now, everything seemed normal. The bed was made neatly, Sasuke was studying, and when he entered the room, his lover looked up from his book with a hungry expression, pushing the book aside and pulling him into their bed.
"Finally, I thought you'd never get home." Sasuke seemed just as insatiable as he'd been for the last few days, his lips and hands moving desperately over Naruto's skin.
"Sasuke," Naruto couldn't help it…he had to ask. "Do you…do you have anything you want to tell me?"
"What?" Sasuke looked up from where he'd been pressing kisses to Naruto's neck. "I love you." He attempted.
"No…I meant, like maybe you've been meaning to tell me something…something I should know." Naruto prompted and Sasuke blinked at him in confusion.
"I can't think of anything." Sasuke told him. "Is this a game or something?"
"You've been gone so much lately." Naruto told him, and Sasuke shrugged slightly.
"I'm sorry, I told you about my job." He explained. "I can ask for less hours if you want."
"Right, your job. That you don't get paid for." Naruto frowned, and Sasuke flopped down on his back, sighing heavily.
"I'm rich, I don't need pay, but he said if I wanted he would." Sasuke told him. "If you want me to get paid, I can."
"What was Neji doing in here with you?" he asked after a long silence, and Sasuke stood up, making a slightly annoyed noise.
"What does it matter? I love you." Sasuke told him, and Naruto felt like it was almost an admission of his fears.
"Do you really even have a job, or are you just running around behind my back with Neji, using that as a cover?" he asked, his voice cracking slightly.
"What the hell?" Sasuke threw up his hands. "What the hell are you talking about? Are you out of your damn mind? You think I'm cheating on you? Honestly, after everything we've been through, you think that?"
"Are you?" Naruto demanded, and Sasuke gave him a look so full of fury, he thought for a moment that he was going to be throttled by his lover, but instead, the dark-haired man spun on his heel and rushed out of the room, slamming the door behind him, without giving any answer.
Naruto fell back on the bed, burying his face in Sasuke's pillow, and letting the tears flow.
--
Gaara stood in his room for a long time, looking at the bed he shared with Neji, looking at the way his belongings and Neji's belongings were intermingled on the nightstand, on the dresser. In the hamper, his clothes and Neji's clothes were mixed as well, and as he looked around the room, it took some time to decide which things were his, which things were Neji, who had placed them where they were, who had picked out which things they had bought since he'd arrived.
Everything in this room…it was not his, it was not Neji's. It was theirs.
It hurt to look at. He had the image of Neji fucking Sasuke burned in the back of his mind, that scene he had walked in on months ago, before they had actually been together, and it came up now, on their bed, against the dresser, in the closet doorway, right on the ground. Everywhere he had been with Neji…had Sasuke been there first? Neji told him they only did it twice, and that Neji had used it only as a means to get Gaara, to draw out his passions into the open. But maybe…maybe when he'd been staying with Temari…it would have been easy for them to use the room for whatever they wanted.
Maybe sometimes…they still did.
"Meeting in secret." Gaara breathed, reaching out, touching the lamp, caressing the steel body, recalling all the times Neji or he had switched the lamp on after sex, seeing the way that Neji's body would look by the light, remembering drinking in the sight of his lover as he fell asleep, or watching him as he twisted his hair into a messy ponytail and sat up studying, still nearly naked, sometimes reading from his books to Gaara, wanting to discuss this piece of literature or that. He wondered if Neji realized that sometimes, while he slept, Gaara would read those books, so that he could see all the things that Neji loved, and be able to speak with him at length about any of them.
He wondered if Sasuke spoke to him about such things…he wondered if Neji had meant it when he said he loved him, or if, in truth, he'd actually told every one of his lovers those words, despite the fact that he'd sworn to Gaara he was the only one he'd ever loved, the only one he'd ever said the words to.
I gave him everything, I told him all of my secrets.
But I knew, after he learned what I was capable of, he could never really feel the same way. No matter what he said, I knew telling him about everything…telling him about my uncle…I knew that would be the end. But when he said he didn't care, when he said he loved me…I wanted to believe him so badly.
He wanted to be angry. He could picture himself picking up the lamp, smashing it into Neji's face, smashing it into all of their things, smashing it into Sasuke's face. But…somehow, as though the act of loving someone had completely drained him of his ability to unleash the violence he'd always found came so naturally, somehow…
He let go of the lamp, and turned out of the room, leaving behind everything. None of it was really his, anyway. He needed to be away from all of it, and to think. He needed to know the truth.
I could ask him…but why would he tell the truth, if he's been lying to me this whole time?
He walked down the hall, not sure what he was going to do at first, but feeling that if he asked Sasuke, he would hear the truth. He felt somehow that Sasuke, who had been so cold with his other friends, would have no problem telling Gaara that he'd been sleeping with Neji behind his back, and would likely take an odd pleasure in it. Gaara wondered if it was a good idea to confront someone he so wanted to bludgeon with his fists, but found he couldn't stop himself knocking on the door, and was slightly surprised when Naruto answered, his face blotchy, the door only barely held open, as though afraid of who might be there.
"Hello." Gaara greeted, trying to find more words, but he wasn't sure if it was okay to ask after Sasuke when Naruto was in such a state of disarray. "Are you okay?" he settled for that, feeling that was probably what you said when your friends looked upset.
"Do you…do you want to come in?" Naruto scrubbed at one eye and held the door open, and Gaara found himself walking in, feeling there was no reason not to speak to this friend of his, the one who always ran to comfort others when they were hurting. He was probably the worst qualified to comfort him in return, but he would do his best. "So…did you hear?"
"Sasuke and Neji?" Gaara was not always the swiftest in social situations, but since he felt about the way Naruto looked, and since they were in very similar positions, it all made sense to him, and he was able to quickly figure out that it all must be true, after all. "How long?"
"Who knows?" Naruto sighed and flopped down on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. "I feel…I feel like such an idiot."
"Yes." Gaara could not help agreeing, pacing the room and clenching his fists over and over, feeling helpless, feeling agitated, feeling mournful, and not knowing what he should do with those feelings.
"Stop that," Naruto sighed, rolling on his side, "come here, then." Naruto held out his arms, gesturing for Gaara to join him on the bed. Gaara was so grateful to be told what to do with himself, he immediately obliged, climbing next to Naruto and laying down, feeling an odd memory of his uncle doing something similar once, but the similarity ended there. Naruto wrapped his arms around Gaara, but instead of doing anything sexual, he let out a deep breath, closed his eyes, and gently pulled Gaara's head against his chest, his fingers rubbing his scalp in a calming manner. And even though Gaara usually hated having people touch him unless it was Neji…somehow, this felt very nice, and everything suddenly didn't seem quite so horrible.
"I want to kill him, but I know I won't." Gaara felt the thought escape his mouth like a little bubble of air floating out of the depths of his despair. "I'll just let him go."
"Don't be so sad," Naruto told him, but he could hear the tears in the other man's voice. "It's not the end of the world."
"What should I be?" Gaara wanted to know, and Naruto let out a noise halfway between a laugh and a sob. "Is it okay if I stay here for now? Being in my room makes me very angry."
"That's fine." Naruto's voice sounded faraway, and Gaara closed his own eyes, wrapping an arm over Naruto, and even though he didn't feel like Neji, and he didn't smell like Neji…it was nice just knowing there was someone there that felt the way he did.
--
Neji had gone from Sasuke's room to see if Hinata had stopped caring about her clearly idiotic inadequate boyfriend yet, and to see if she would tell him what he did yet so that he would have good motivation to kill him, or at least hurt him very seriously. It had been an all-around failure, and on top of that, Sakura was now in a state of high agitation that indicated she was having troubles with her boyfriend as well. Neji found this only made him more eager to return to his own room.
Which was mysteriously empty.
It had been rather odd when Gaara never met him in the café, despite him waiting for hours, but he assumed that Gaara was preoccupied, working late on a lab assignment, or distracted by something that had caused him to forget. He had been looking forward to teasing him about it, since it had not really hurt his feelings. In fact, he'd gotten a lot of studying done.
But Gaara wasn't here. Odd.
Neji wondered suddenly if Gaara had remembered, and late though it had been, had gone to the café after Neji left, just missing him. He put on his coat and left the house to investigate this idea, but it proved to be a dead end, and by the time he returned, he was more than a little worried.
Where would Gaara be? He still wasn't in their room, so Neji decided to see if he was with Temari, who insisted she hadn't seen him since lunch, and then with Kankurou, whose room seemed to be playing nightly host to the lovelorn drunkard portion of his social circle. Also no help there. He knew it would be unlikely his lover would be socializing on his own, but went back to Sakura's room before also visiting Chouji's room, Ino's room, and then heading to the end of the hall. Lee was doing pull-ups in his doorway, and it was clear no one else was in his room, so Neji knocked on Sasuke's door, but there was no answer.
He hesitated. It was a bit late, and they could be sleeping, but they could also be up to other things, and he doubted they would appreciate an interruption, but he had already seen Sasuke naked, so it really shouldn't be that big of a deal. Besides, if that was what was going on, he'd just close the door and leave.
He opened the door.
His mouth fell open, and he closed the door again, blinking at the wood as though the wood could explain what he had just seen. His lover, curled up sleeping in the arms of another man.
He turned away.
It was time to go have a nice, long lay down.
Maybe in the morning life would make sense.
--
To be continued…