A/N:

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

~MDE~

Chapter 25

Did he really just ask me to marry him? I try to calm my nerves, open my eyes, and freeze when I see his face.

"Baby, please don't leave me hanging here," he says, trying to smile.

Confusion sets in, and I have no idea what to do. It's suddenly too much. I pull out of his grasp, and when I stand, I pull the sheet and wrap it around my body. Turning to look at him, I can see the anguish in his eye. I don't want to hurt him, but it's too much. I run from the room, only stopping in front the window to watch the still falling snow. Wrapping the sheet tighter around my body trying to find warmth and comfort, I stare deeper into the snow trying to get my answers. I feel him before I hear him enter the room.

He stands behind me and gently places a hand on my shoulder. "Bella, please talk to me." I can hear the pain in his voice. It's pain I put there, and that hurts even more.

"No," Is all I can manage to say. I hear him draw in a quick breath as I say the word. I know this hurts him, but it is too much too soon. "I'm sorry, Edward, but I can't."

His hand falls from my shoulder, and I immediately feel the loss. "Will you look at me please?" His voice is no higher than a whisper and is filled with pain. I owe him that much, so I turn to face him but can't look in his eyes. "Edward, I love you. However, I can't marry you like this. I spent so long grieving you, and now, now you're here. It's a lot to take in, and I can't help but wonder if this is just your response to everything that is going on. I dreamed of being your wife, but not like this."

"Isabella, I love you; I want you with me forever."

"I know you do, and I love you too. Let me ask you this, did you come here planning on asking me?"

I can hear the silence in the room. Maybe it would be different if he had, but I can't marry him because he feels guilty. "See, that's what I mean." I finally take the chance and look him in the eye. I almost wish I hadn't, but he needs to see I'm telling him the truth. "You had no intention of asking me that today. There are a lot of emotions going on for both of us, and you reacted. I would love to be your wife someday, but I need to know it's because you want nothing more than to be my husband, and not because we got caught up in emotions."

"I'm not caught up. Well, maybe I am, but it still doesn't change the way I feel about you, about us."

I reach and stoke his face and smile when he quickly relaxes under my touch. "Baby, I know that. I know you love me, but we can't do this, not like this. We need time to be with each other. I need time to get my emotions in check. We just...oh, I don't know. I just know that I can't do this now. I am not saying never, because believe me, I want you forever. I just need to know in my heart that you want this forever and not because we are scared of losing each other."

He pulls me to him and wraps his arms around me. I sink into his chest and just feel. I know this is what I want, and if the last few months were different, I know I would have said yes, but I can't go through life wondering what if. It's not fair to either of us. I only hope he understands. It's a few minutes before he finally responds. "I'm sorry. I can't say I'm not disappointed and hurt, but you're right; I guess I did just get caught up in the moment. Can we go back to bed and talk about this?" I lean back and raise an eyebrow at him. "No. Not for that; unless you want to. I just want to talk, and frankly, its winter and chilly, and you are the only one that is draped in a sheet. I smile, step back, and open my arms inviting him in. He steps closer, and we slowly walk back to the bedroom. Once we are snuggled back in the warmth of each other and the blankets, we begin to talk once more.

"Will you at least allow me to do something?"

"What's that?"

"Let me add you to my list of emergency contacts. I never want you to go through that again. I know if…no, once we are married that you will always be notified, but until then it would put me at ease. I also want to make sure that you have my family's contact information. If I had just given…"

"Please don't go there. We can't live on what ifs or what should or could have been done. There is nothing that anyone can do to change the past. We just need to move on from here and pray that it never happens again."

"I just hate knowing that if I had done one simple thing, I could have saved you so much pain."

"It is not your fault. Yes, you can add me, if that is what you want."

"It is. Will you meet my family while I am here? If it is too soon, please just tell me."

"I would love to. Why don't we go see the girls tomorrow? I know they will not leave me be until I see them. Then, if it is not too much to ask, I would really love to just be with you, with no interference from outside world, just you and me."

"I would love nothing more. Would you be opposed to going home with me for New Year's? My parents throw a huge party every year, and I will be expected to be there. Besides, that will give us this entire week alone."

"I would love to."

"Can I ask you one more thing?"

"Edward, you can ask me anything."

"If things had been different, what would you have said?"

"I don't want to hurt you, but I most likely would have said yes. I don't know. I want to be with you, and I don't want you to take this as a rejection, there is just so much going on in my head right now. I need time to process."

"I understand. Now that I think about it, you are right. So…next time…"

I can't help but smile at the man lying next to me. I know I could drag this out, but I can't hurt him anymore than I have. "Next time…will be a yes…" Instantly his lips are on mine, and we begin round two.

A/N:

I know that this is not what most of you wanted, but let's face it she has spent over 4 months thinking he was dead, and it has been less than a day since she learned the truth. The emotions are all over the place, and she can't say yes without wondering for the rest of her life. I do promise you that they will get there, maybe sooner rather than later, but for now, it is just too soon. Edward will realize this when his head is clear as well.