Chapter 20xI

Alan – Put the battering ram away. There's no need to destroy every wall like a caveman when there's clearly cracks in a few spots! Focus on those. No you may not keep it "just in case"

Astol – I see you get quite bored easily, but you can actually put your brain to good use. Figuring out how to use the snow surrounding the ruins to make delicious snow cones was commendable. ….why are you grinning? This is lemon flavored, isn't it? …..oh you son of a bitch.

Barth – You hand out coats, not rummage through them. Stopping everyone to ask if one gold coin belonged to them was ridiculous, and it just shows me you're terrible at the job I've given you, because you still don't know what clothing belongs to who.

Bartre – You already did your trick of putting your head through a hole to scare people.

Bors – No one likes your sweaters because they're itchy and you sew in embarrassing phrases on it. "I'm a big boy now"? "Keep calm and carry on"? "Expand dong"? You must be mad.

Cath – I don't believe your claims that you have "dirty laundry on everyone here", and even if you did, some members of this army have given up their dignity long ago.

Cecilia – I refuse to speak with you until the glaze fades from Master Roy's eyes.

Chad – Just because it's cold and winter-y in Ilia, that doesn't mean we should stop for a Christmas party. Put the lights, tinsel, and coal away, and stop painting the noses of every reindeer you see. Only one has the red one.

Clarine – You do not have the right to deny who Klein chooses to date, no matter how poor you think they are or how "not as beautiful as me" you think they are. Tate can hear you, you know.

Dieck – Hand Axes are to be thrown at a distance, not used to remove the caked blood on your arms. You do know that only risks your arm to be cut again, right?

Dorothy – Yes I know Saul keeps staring at the other girls with a dopey smile on his face. Either step it up or break it off already.

Douglas – I assure you, we will find Roartz and kill him. You can stop making sculptures of him out of snow and brutally smashing it with your axe.

Echidna - Just because Lot and Ward want to be helpful, that doesn't mean you use their heads to break down walls.

Elen – We don't have time for you to stop and proceed over the marriage of Princess Guinevere, especially when you and Miledy are the "grooms". I said no more marriages in this army!

Elphin – When someone suggests you play a very vulgar song, you do not play the song, and allow them to sing the lyrics. No matter how nicely they ask.

Fa – You do not have imaginary dragon friends named Tiki, Nowi, Nah, and Myrrh.

Fir – I will tell your father Noah has propositioned you if you continue to be swayed by his charming. No I'm not restrictive, I don't trust him!

Garrett – You may not have a "bald-off" with me. I still have hair you know!

Geese – Oh good, you got the loan. ….at 25% interest?! What kind of haggler are you? …what do you mean, the merchant "made you an offer I couldn't refuse"? All she gave you was a rotting apple, a pirate hat, and three bottles of whiskey!

Gonzales – Do not ask Astol for snow cones, you banned from eating anything I don't sign off on.

Hugh – Your grandmother is not going to eat your brains and try to castrate you. Have some affection for her and just have a chat.

Klein – Stop listening to your sister. You have self-control and logic, you're not going to "knock up Tate and become a deadbeat dad". Clarine is just jealous.

Igrene – Fa needs another snack besides ice cream sundaes. They take too long to make, they're not good for her, and she ends up eating too much and getting a stomachache. Yes I know I see her begging, puppy dog eyes are not a good excuse!

Lalum - I refuse to speak with you until Master Roy stops drooling.

Lance – It was admirable you managed to trick the sniper into coming out from the wall to get closer, allowing some of us to trap him and attack, but there was no need to gloat for five minutes straight. No I'm not "doing the Lance Dance for my Pants"!

Lilina – I refuse to speak with you until Master Roy can form a coherent sentence.

Lot – Find Elen to heal your massive head wound.

Lugh – Niime is not Mrs. Claus. You still believe in Santa? You're 13!

Marcus – There! Lady Yuno said she's not adopted! Does that satisfy you? ….no Tate is not the daughter of Fiora! Hair color is not that concrete of evidence!

Miledy – Grooms don't wear wedding dresses. Where did you even find one?

Niime – Yes I know many people in this army are not smart and/or easy to trick. This doesn't mean you create a scavenger hunt, promising "great prizes", only to have them find useless junk, animal droppings, dead bodies, and Astol's garbage snow cones.

Noah – "Did you fall from Heaven? Because you're an angel" is a horrible pick up line and I should kick you out of the army for even thinking of it.

Oujay – Put the dead rat down! It's not the "final prize" of Niime's hunt! It's a scam!

Percival – I don't know why many people keep joking you have a friend named Thomas. Another odd joke, it seems.

Ray – Finally the time has come to use Eclipse for something, and you resort to smashing the wall with the tome itself. It would've taken much less time if you used the actual spell.

Roy - …..are you there, milord? Speak to me. Oh….

Rutger – I already said no to Elen and Miledy, there was no need to attack them. This army is not planning to defect to Bern, I promise you. We're still trying to defeat them. We are not going to "force the princess to shoot out more bastards like Zephiel"

Saul – It's called monogamy.

Shanna – I refuse to speak with you until Master Roy stops squeezing the air like there are breasts visible.

Shin – We have better things to do than run around in circles on your horse, making the warriors and snipers stop to catch their breath, no matter how funny you think it is. We need to find the Malte.

Sophia – I refuse to speak with you until Master Roy stops grinning like an idiot.

Sue – I refuse to speak with you until Master Roy stops giggling madly. What have the six of you done?

Tate – Stop spreading rumors. Lycia is not going to occupy Bern once we kill Zephiel, turning all of the native residents into slaves, and destroying every Bern monument in an attempt to "create total Lycian superiority in Elibe". This is just because I forgot to say "bless you" when you sneezed, huh?

Treck – You can still fight, you know. You didn't have to let Lady Yuno keep your weapon-and now you're sleeping.

Ward – Find Elen to heal your massive head wound.

Wendy – I think you're exaggerating greatly when you write that Lady Lilina has defeated 7204923950 enemies and everyone else has barely cracked 100 wins.

Wolt – Dorothy is the better tea maker, I'm sorry. She brews it carefully, serves it with crackers, and puts little spices and fruit. Yours tastes like hot dishwater.

Yuno - ….alright, I give up. I can't refuse that serene smile….your sister has….well, married. And consummated. ….I did not think your reaction would be to squeal like a schoolgirl and ask her if she could name the first born after you. Huh.

Zealot – Apology accepted. I would go insane if someone trashed my home as well. ….although my eye is still black, you know.

Zeiss – You are not Miledy's best man and Elen's maid of honor. Take the dress off. Does everybody not understand the roles of a wedding?