Chapter 25 – Professor Lockhart

On his way to the Defense against Dark Arts classroom, Harry heard some voices coming from one of the small side corridors that he usually paid no attention to. He followed the voices and saw that Ron and Luna Lovegood were backed up against the end wall and surrounded by a number of Slytherins. Led, of course, by Draco Malfoy.

Ron held his wand out and was waving it back and forth trying to cover everyone. Luna was beside him and held her wand out. For once, her gazed was fixed and she looked determined to cause as much damage as possible against the tormentors.

Ron noticed Harry coming down the hallway toward them but didn't shout out for him. He had seen Harry putting his invisibility cloak on and trusted that his friend knew what he was doing.

Harry thought a good scare might discourage at least some of the 'Snakes' from bothering his friends again. He cast a sonorous charm on his throat and waited until he was right behind the group.

The Slytherins had been worked up enough by the taunting of their leader to just about to rush the duo before them when a large voice filled the hallway.

"Away, wayward Slytherins! Cease tormenting these protected souls and flee before the Reckoning comes upon you!"

"Who was that?" Crabbe asked looking around.

"Nobody" said Draco Malfoy, "It's a Gryffindor trick. Get these friends of Potter; we'll teach them a lesson."

"Your last and final warning. Leave or face the consequences."

By the time the voice had finished speaking the second time, most of the Slytherins were looking around wildly and a few had backed up against the walls of the corridor.

A few seconds passed and then two of the group screamed as they felt unseen hands slap them. The group was then horrified to see that two of the first years, Blodgett and Blackson, had suddenly turned purple!

"I said begone; the Spirit of Hogwarts cannot abide bullying!"

The two colorful boys fled screaming and that started the running departure of the rest of the Slytherins. Soon only Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle were left casting nervous glances at the walls. Goyle jumped nervously when he was tapped on the shoulder.

Luna Lovegood had her dreamy smile back. "Have you had enough?"

Goyle made a horribly girly shriek and fled down the corridor. Crabbe started edging away from Malfoy and then fled himself.

Draco Malfoy's expression was anything but confident as he suddenly found himself alone against the two persons he had wanted to see hurt just a few minutes earlier. He was looking around wildly when he suddenly felt a wand poking the back of his neck. He could still see Lovegood and Weasley and that they were still holding their wands.

Malfoy ran screaming bloody murder down the hallway but never saw the pool of black oil that suddenly appeared in front of him. He slipped and fell down. And continued to slip and fall as he tried getting to his feet. Ron and Luna held their laughter in until Malfoy had slipped and slid himself out of sight. There were little black marks left all over the corridor where the Slytherin had fallen or touched the wall trying to stand.

Ron heard "Mischief Managed" coming out of thin air and the black puddle and all the other marks suddenly vanished. Harry pulled off his invisibility cloak and Luna and Ron grinned at their rescuer.

"I thought we were done for Harry. That was a great prank. How did you manage that purple transformation?"

"I.. sorry." Harry held his wand to his throat and cancelled the sonorous charm. "There were too many of them to just start throwing hexes back and forth. Are you both ok?"

"We're fine Harry. I was confident that the school wouldn't let us be hurt too badly."

Harry raised an eyebrow at Luna's statement but Ron just shrugged his shoulders. "You'll have to ask the twins about the special effects Ron but don't be too hurt if they don't tell you much."

"You're the one that hired them this summer? Ok, then I understand perfectly now. Good for you."

"Ron was walking me up to Charms when we were accosted. Those three are horrible aren't they?"

"Most of the time, Luna, most of the time." Harry was glad no one had gotten hurt.

"We'd best get going then. I've got to walk back down here after going upstairs with you. Thanks again Harry."

Harry watched Ron and Luna walk away and they turned and waved back at him before turning the corner. Harry gathered up his bookbag from where he had hidden it and started back on his trip to see Professor Lockhart.

"Good work Harry!" Harry whirled and looked back down the corridor. That voice didn't belong to either Ginny or Hermione. Harry rushed forward hoping it was simply Peeves playing with him.

Xxxx xxxx

Harry found Professor Lockhart in the DADA classroom. He was busy hanging up pictures- of himself. On almost every available empty space on the walls and doors. Pictures of Gilderoy Lockhart – large, small, color, black and white – you couldn't look anywhere without seeing the smiling face of the newest teacher at Hogwarts.

'And I thought this was going to be difficult enough. Now we have to face this every time we show up for class.' Harry shook his head sadly as he looked around the room. Unfortunately that movement caught the attention of the instructor.

Professor Lockhart turned with his trademarked smile and regarded the boy who stood nervously before him. "Ah Harry. Good to see you; I was just finishing up my final touches to the classroom. A little inspiration for everyone. Come on up to my office and have a seat."

Harry followed the wizard in the peacock blue outfit up the flight of stairs to the DADA professor's office. Any hope of avoiding the multiple faces of many Professor Lockharts was quickly dashed. There were as many pictures of Lockhart hung in his office as there were in the classroom below. Harry saw a lot of framed covers of magazines that showed the wonderful visage of Gilderoy Lockhart. He appeared on everything from 'Witches Weekly' and 'Famous Tales of Monster Hunters' to 'Dragon Quarterly'. Harry saw a number of framed awards and certificates that were also prominently displayed.

Recognizing one medal in particular, Harry looked at a marvelous display case that contained the Order of Merlin, Third Class. It was awarded to Lockhart for "Conspicuous Bravery in Single-handedly Defeating an Invasion of Vampires from Overrunning Pontardeway, Wales". Harry wondered what Lockhart would think of the notion that Dumbledore had given Harry a similar medal for defending the Philosopher's Stone from Quirrell and Voldemort? The medal was sitting in a small box in Harry's trunk in his dorm.

Professor Lockhart had sat at his desk and was watching Harry look around the office. "Not such a bad collection, Harry, you'd do well to start a collection yourself about your accomplishments."

"I'm not sure I would be comfortable doing that professor. Most of my friends would tell you that I'm a little on the shy side."

"There's nothing wrong with acknowledging your gifts and talents. Now you said you had something you needed to talk to me about?"

Harry came over and sat in the chair next to the professor's desk. "It's about the official class roster."

Professor Lockhart opened a drawer and pulled out a piece of parchment. He looked down it and noticed the title immediately. "Honorable, eh. Is this just a recent addition? My condolences and congratulations young man."

Harry blew out a breath. "I just attended the reading of my parents will a few weeks ago. I had no idea before that I belonged to a noble house so this idea is brand new to me. I'd rather my classmates not know of this little detail. It took them almost all of last year to treat me like I was normal."

"Despite your protests, young man, we both know that you are anything but normal. But I'll not mention it in class if that's your preference Harry. Do you have any idea of what sort of title you'll be inheriting?"

Harry felt that there was more than normal curiosity about the question as it came from Lockhart. "Nothing specific, I'm afraid. The rumor I've heard is that I'm the proud owner of one of the minor Shetland Islands and a couple of large herds of sheep."

"Don't be embarrassed about being a minor Baronet then. There's nothing wrong with having a good bit of mutton for supper either. I think you'll do well being a noble. In fact, if you'd like my guidance and advice when you assume your role in wizarding society, I would be more than able to start your training here in Hogwarts."

"Thank you but I'm sure you have your hands full with the classes you are teaching. A few of my friends have some knowledge about this and are starting to help me."

"Well the offer is still open. We wizards of extraordinary talent must stick together. I'm afraid that I will have to treat you as just one of the ordinary students when it comes to class however. It mustn't appear that I have any favorites."

"I expect nothing less Professor Lockhart. I've always wanted to be judged on my abilities rather than any sort of notoriety that came my way when I was only a year old."

"Well said, Harry. Excuse me – Mr. Potter. It's almost time for class to start. Why don't you go down and wait for your housemates and we'll begin a new era at Hogwarts in just a few minutes."

Harry excused himself and went back down the stairs to the classroom. He found Ginny and Hermione already sitting there and they were holding their hands over their mouths trying to stifle their laughter. Harry rolled his eyes at his girlfriends before he sat down between them.

'Mission accomplished, I think.'

'Thanks for letting us listen in Harry. "Wizards of extraordinary talent" – pul-eaze – almost made me rolf.'

'We met Ron and Luna on our way here. Seems you added another couple to your rescue list.'

'That was actually fun Hermione but something strange happened afterward. Would the two of you mind reviewing my memory later to give me your opinion?'

'Sure Harry.' 'Of course – maybe it's a requirement?'

'I don't see why not.'

The rest of the Gryffindor second years had finished drifting in and had settled into their seats. Neville had pulled out all seven of the course books and had them setting on the desk in front of him. If Ron had done that, Harry might have suspected that he was planning a nap behind them.

There was a sudden trumpet of fanfare and Gilderoy Lockhart struck a dramatic pose at the head of the stairway. "Welcome to Defense against the Dark Arts, you lucky students. You all know my name and relish my fame."

Harry groaned silently as did most of his male housemates. Harry looked around and, aside from his bondmates, the rest of the Gryffindor girls were almost swooning in their seats. Harry guess that the glamour charm Lockhart was using was still very active. Since Hermione and Ginny were aware of it, they could shield themselves from its effects.

"Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League, and five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most-Charming- Smile Award – but I don't talk about that. I didn't get rid of the Bandon Banshee by smiling at it." (quote, Chapter 6, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets)

"Now I'm going to call role and I'd like an answer from each you about why you are taking this course and what you expect to get out of it. That it's a mandated course will not be one of your answers"

"Lavender Brown?" "Here sir, I want to take this course to defend myself. Maybe against boy wizards."

"Seamus Finnegan?" "Here! We have vampires and werewolves around my family's home. I'd like to learn to protect my relatives if I could."

"Hermione Granger?" "Present sir. I'm taking this course to help my friends defend their lives."

"Neville Longbottom?" "Here. My family has suffered from the actions of Death Eaters. I don't want to have their loss to go unavenged.

"Parvati Patil?" "Present, Professor Lockhart. I'm here to learn as many defensive spells as I can."

"Harry Potter?" "Here sir. Voldemort killed my family. His Death Eaters may still be after me."

There was a gasp from almost everyone when Harry said the forbidden name. Professor Lockhart's smile faded and he looked directly at Harry. Harry didn't blink as he gazed back at the instructor.

"Dean Thomas?" "Here. I just want to be able to defend myself."

"Ginevra Weasley?" "Make that simply Ginny sir. I have very personal reasons to want to hurt the dark forces that may still exist."

"Ronald Weasley?" "Last but not least sir. My uncles were killed in the last war. I'll not have myself or any of my family go out that way."

Professor Lockhart went back to smiling as he put the class roster away. "All very commendable and worthy objectives. I shall endeavor to teach what I can to get you prepared. I cannot and will not teach you everything I know. Overstepping your magical and physical limits will get you into just as much trouble as if you were going in totally unprepared. But prepared you will be; just as much as any second year class in the world. With that goal in mind, it's time to put your books away for now."

"I want to know how much you have paid attention to the reading assignment. So there shall be a short quiz. Now. Miss… Brown, yes. Will you pass out the tests that are sitting on my desk?"

Lavender blushed as she came forward. "Anything to help you, Professor Lockhart."

Ron and the other boys shook their heads at her enthusiasm. Tests on the first day of class weren't unheard of but … there were seven of those books!

Harry scowled as he paged through the multi-page test. 'This isn't about any spells or defense; it's all about Lockhart.'

'Well you said we might have to get out of a type pinch by knowing his cologne Harry. I didn't expect it to be in the classroom.'

'Thanks Ginny, a whole bunch! Hermione?'

'The test isn't quite on the subject of defense is it? I guess it would be ok to share. We all did read the seven books right?'

'Of course.' 'Certainly.'

Harry bent to the test and tried remembering what he had actually read. It was clear to him that if he was going to learn anything, the three of them would have to keep up their independent studies from various other sources.

Harry and his girlfriends took their time answering the quiz and deliberately missed some questions and didn't finish as fast as they could have. They joined the rest of the Gryffindors out in the hallway and went back to their dorms discussing their 'unusual' teacher.