"I'm coming home

To breathe again, to start again

I'm coming home

From all the places I have been

With nothing but a voice within

That calls me, calls me home."

~Calls Me Home by Shannon LaBrie

It was a long flight home. When they finally got off the plane, Dean was so jetlagged he couldn't see straight. Castiel laughed. He had taken photographs all over the world, he could adjust to almost any schedule. Dean, however, was groggy from the bodily confusion resulting from the six hour time difference between Venice and New York. He was nearly asleep standing up. Castiel wrapped an arm around his waist, and Dean leaned gratefully into his fiancé.

Cass had to release Dean, though, when Jimmy saw them, because he didn't want the model taking the brunt of the attack hug Jimmy flung on him the minute he pushed his way through the crowd. Castiel smiled and hugged his twin back. Even in the short time he had been gone, he had missed his brother like crazy. He knew he wasn't the only one with that issue when he saw the way Dean hugged his own brother, though it was the slightly awkward "man-hug" of two alpha males. Gabriel stood nearby, watching with a smile. Castiel smiled at the thought that it just might be Sam and Gabriel as the next ones walking down the aisle.

"Jimmy, I have something to tell you."

Dean beat Castiel to the punch.

He climbed up on to one of the tables people could sit at while waiting on a flight, and at the top of his lungs, "Hey, you people listen up!"

Several turned in his direction with interest.

Castiel barely had time to stutter out his mortification before Dean was pulling him up on the table as well, holding Cass close to his side as he proudly announced, "We're getting married."

A large portion of the crowd erupted into cheers. Castiel's protests against the dramatic announcement were cut off by Dean dipping Cass down into a kiss suitable to the most typical of chick flicks. But it felt nothing but typical to Castiel as his weight rested completely on Dean's arm. The kiss was so sweet and perfect that he felt like he had been dropped into a fairytale. He smiled against Dean's mouth, happiness and change of altitude dizzying him as he was swung back upright.

"You're insane," he remarked breathlessly.

Dean grinned, eyes wild. "Still love me?"

"Of course I do, you mentally impaired fool."

When they kissed this time, it was like no one else was in the room.

…

They exited the terminal arm in arm. Jimmy hung back, talking to Gabriel, who was cozied up to Sam. Dean was chuckling at something Sam said when Castiel jolted to a halt. He looked down. Castiel's eyes were wide, and his face was an unnatural shade of white. He had never looked so terrified. Shaking, he backed into Dean and wrapped both of his hands around those of his lover. Dean covered Castiel's hands with his free one and felt his fiancé's fingers shaking. Cass closed his eyes, hoping, praying to God and all things good he hadn't laid eyes on what he thought he had.

"No, no…please, God, no. Not now, not after all this…" he whispered, frantic.

Dean pulled him close and wrapped both arms around him, splaying one hand on Castiel's stomach, the other on his chest. Shielding him. "Cass…hey, hey, what is it baby?"

"It's him. Oh, Dean, it's him…" His words were becoming more disjointed by the second, head shaking in short, spasm-like movements.

"It's who? What's going on?"

Jimmy stumbled to a halt. His voice was thick with hatred and anger. "Castiel's worst nightmare just came true. Is that…what the fuck. Is that Crowley?"

Dean was lost. All he saw was Crowley walking next to Balthazar, and while they made an odd pair, he really didn't understand the drama unfolding. Anna was also there, and she greeted Balthazar with a hug and a warm smile. Castiel watched, frozen until that moment. He saw the two exchange pleasantries and choked as if he would throw up. Dean held his straggly hair back just in case. He wanted answers, but he wasn't sure at this point if his photographer could speak.

The shock faded. Cass wrenched himself from Dean's arms and strode over, grabbing Balthazar and slinging him into the wall with the force of a freight train. He whispered something through clenched teeth before his hands wound around the blond man's throat, tightening his grip until Balthazar's eyes rolled back in his head and he struggled for breath. The sight only made Castiel squeeze harder. His voice was starting to heighten, and he screamed loud enough for everyone present to hear.

"What's wrong? Hurting? Take it like a man! Isn't that what you told me? Didn't you say that when you burned me? Hit me? Tried to rape me? Isn't it? Come on Balthazar, take it like a man!" He was screeching by this point, rabid with fury.

"Cass!" Dean pried his fiancé off, grunting as he took an elbow to the crotch. He still didn't release the enraged man. "What the fuck is going on?"

"That's him, Dean. That's the man I told you about."

Dean was so shocked that his hands went slack. Thankfully, Cass didn't launch back into attack. Dean felt like he was going to throw up, now. He stared at his heavily breathing housemate in disgusted horror. "Balthazar…you were Castiel's boyfriend in college?"

"Yes." Balthazar had the sense to look ashamed.

"Motherfucker! You tried to rape him!"

Now Dean was the one screaming, and he had only landed one good blow before security pulled him off. They let him go with a warning to leave Balthazar alone and to keep Castiel under control before they were both arrested for assault. Anna led them both away, and Crowley just stood there, slack jawed with appalled confusion. Sam scrambled after Dean, and Gabriel wore no expression at all. He was as unreadable as a blank slate.

They got outside. Castiel immediately found a trashcan and wretched until there was nothing left in his stomach. Dean stroked the hair he was holding back. Anna was staring at her feet, unable to meet the eyes of Sam or Gabriel. Dean retrieved a napkin from the dash of the car and cleaned Castiel up, who nodded in gratitude before turning to his siblings. No one knew where Jimmy had gotten off to.

"You knew."

Gabriel flinched at the accusation. Anna was the one to speak up. "He would have told you."

"Really? He sure was taking his sweet time. Dean told me on our way out here that Balthazar lives with him. Gabriel, you didn't think I needed to know this?"

"I told him that if he breathed a word of it to you, I would destroy his and Sam's names until they couldn't show their faces this side of North America," Anna said.

"What?" Hot, stinging betrayal lanced Castiel's heart.

"I told Balthazar where you were."

Dean looked like he was narrowly refraining from slapping her. "Why the fuck would you do that?"

"I wanted him to suffer." She shrugged coldly. "Mom adored him, growing up. I did everything, everything to please her. Dressed like her, acted like her, talked like her…but she loved Castiel more than any of us. And what did he do? Left. Went off to college. Wasn't even there when she died of cancer. He came by every day after school but wouldn't sacrifice his precious education to be with her. But to the moment she died, she always loved precious little Cassy best."

"I would have been there!" Cass shouted. "But she begged me to stay in school because she didn't want to die with the guilt of knowing I gave up school to stay at her bedside."

"You mean to tell me you told some sicko where Cass was to torment him over sibling rivalry bullshit?" Dean demanded.

"That's exactly what I did. And I don't regret it."

Castiel choked down a sob, staring at the sister he loved, adored. "You hate me that much? Didn't you see how I flinched from him when I brought him home to meet you guys? Couldn't you hear how he yelled at me when he thought no one else could hear?"

"Of course I did. That's why I enlisted him to put you in your place. Everything was ready to go until that fucking manager of yours showed up and Balthazar fell in love with the smarmy asshole."

"I…you…Anna Melanie Novak, don't you ever speak to me again. I do not ever want to see you again. Do not show up at my house, and don't even think about showing up at my wedding." Castiel stepped closer and stared down into her eyes, shaking his head dismally. "You almost managed to break me. You came pretty damn close. Alas, I really hate to break this to you, but no one is ever going to break me again. I'm too strong for that."

He stepped back to Dean, and hands joined, they made their way to the car. Cass stopped only to look over his shoulder and say, "One more thing."

She tossed her dark red hair over her shoulder, arms folded. "What?"

"Fuck you, little sister."

Dean led him to the car. Opened his door, helped him inside. They pulled out of the parking lot. Cass reached down and turned on the radio. His heart ached, but, as he told his sister, could not be broken. The only man with the capabilities to do that sat next to him, and he knew that Dean would never do that. He didn't have a doubt in the world. The radio station turned out to be the mainstream pop of their nightmares, and he couldn't be more eager to turn it to something tolerable, but not before he heard a single chorus that stayed with him for the rest of his life. For a second, he forgot it was probably about some boy declining to take her to the prom, or something equally shallow. It was not the singer or the nature of the music that struck him. It was the words.

You can take everything I have

You can break everything I am

Like I'm made of glass, like I'm made of paper

Go on and try to tear me down

I will be rising from the ground

Like a skyscraper.

Three Months Later

It began with a single phone call.

Dean's agent, asking him if it was true that he told a reporter vicious slander about the chief editor of the company he had just modeled for. Dean denied it, his agent believed him.

Then another, then three in a day.

Dean threw himself onto the couch of Castiel's apartment - their apartment, now. Cass had been worrying sick over Dean's stress and tugged his fiancé's feet into his lap, massaging them and working his thumbs into the tender skin. Dean relaxed against his better judgment. When Castiel finished with his feet, he stood behind the couch and began working his magic on Dean's shoulders. Dean dropped his head back into Castiel's chest with a happy sigh. He savored the contentment awarded to him by his photographer's talented fingers before the reality of the situation dropped back down on him like a block of cement.

Castiel felt Dean tense once more under his hands. He came around and perched on Dean's knee with a frown. "You think it's her."

"I know it's her. Hell, I'm not surprised. I was waiting on her skanky ass to play her hand."

"Let's fly out to Lawrence, talk to her."

Dean barked out a bitter laugh. "Won't do any good. You can't 'talk' to Bela goddamn Talbot. She's pissed and making good on her promise."

"Can we try?"

Dean looked down at the ring sparkling on the finger of the man he would be marrying in just over a week, the symbolization of the trust he placed in Castiel's judgment, the mutual trust they would lead each other down the correct paths.

"Alright. We'll try."

…

Castiel dozed during the flight. The past couple months were a blur. So much had happened. Meeting Dean, falling for him, getting his heart broken, Venice, agreeing to marry him…seeing Balthazar again. That had nearly ripped down the stronger version of himself he had become. Not quite, however. Dean packed his things from the manor he shared with him, and Balthazar asked to see Cass. Dean rejected him cold and informed him that if it hadn't been for Castiel telling him Balthazar wasn't worth going to prison over, he would already be dead. Balthazar persisted, and Castiel finally agreed.

They met at Starbucks like two old friends. Castiel skipped right past the small talk and asked why Balthazar wanted to see him. Balthazar knew the damage he had inflicted and the scars Cass still bore. Why did he even want to talk? Balthazar answered that he wanted to make amends.

"Amends?" Castiel had repeated. "You mean amends for abusing me, beating me into submission, almost taking my virginity against my will?"

Balthazar apologized. He sounded sincere. Castiel had looked away, and didn't say a word for several minutes. Cass tried to talk his way out of discussing it by telling the designer he just wanted to move on with his life and had no use for having lattes with the demons of his past he had already gotten over. Balthazar understood, but said words Cass had spent their entire relationship waiting to hear, and now they were just an empty proclamation. Ghostly footprints on a road unraveled.

"I loved you, Castiel. You meant the world to me. And I know I didn't show it, I was too damn far into that bottle. But I've spent my whole life wishing I could make this right."

Castiel had realized how much it meant for Balthazar to hear that he was not hated. He wasn't, really. Cass didn't care enough about him to harbor such a strong emotion. He said as much, and that he had burned the bridges between them a long time ago. Balthazar nodded, held up a coin.

"Token of sobriety," he had said. "But all of the support groups in the world couldn't make me forget breaking the first man I ever loved."

"For what it's worth," Cass had started to say, but had to take a breath before he could proceed. "For what it's worth, Balthazar, I don't have the energy to hate you. I have a great career, I'm marrying the man of my dreams…I don't want to spend the rest of my life resenting people that want to move on like I do. Even you."

Even you.

The words had hefted a weight from his shoulders that allowed him to shake Balthazar's hand, accept the man's well wishes for his marriage, and tell the once abusive man that he hoped he would find his own happiness in Crowley. That Crowley - who had assured Castiel he had no idea of what Balthazar had done to him - was a good man and maybe, somewhere deep down, so was Balthazar. With those words, Cass left. They had not spoken since. Nor had he spoken to Anna since the day at the airport, and he was glad. What she had done hurt, but with Dean at his side, there was no wound that could not heal.

"It'll be okay, we'll get this sorted out," Castiel assured on the way to Dean's childhood home.

"Yeah. I know." Dean's hands were shaking so badly that Castiel had taken over driving.

Castiel perceived the fear, having heard it many times in his own voice. "You're afraid of him."

"Fuck no I'm not afraid of him," Dean snapped, shooting a glare at Cass.

"Easy, lover. It's nothing to be ashamed of. I've been there."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

Their hands met on the console, and the large home swam into view.