I AM SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Chapter 25- Jasper's Confession

Bella POV

He ran into the room, desperately looking for the woman who he just now realized how much he loved. As if destiny was playing her fine tune, she saw him run into the room and their eyes met.. While he looked relieved, she looked almost panic stricken, yet it was clear that she still had a spot for him in her heart.

Music played around them with the mixed sound of everyone's laughter and hope for the new years. They stared at each other for a few painful seconds, both wanting to go the other, yet both held back by their own issues.

But the way she looked all dressed up in her beautiful black dress, and her hair all curled and perfect, he couldn't help but put his own pride aside and make the first step in her direction.

As he made his way through the crowd, a determined look on his face, she took a deep breath to regain her composure and lifted her head. He had hurt her the last time they met face to face, and she would not fall apart like she did then.

With one last final step he stood in front of her and dove straight into his speech.

"I've been doing a lot of thinking," he spoke quickly and slightly out of break. "And the thing is, I love you."

"What?" cocked her head to the side, more angry then confused.

"I love you," he repeated again, this time more certain.

She cast her eyes to his chest, unable to look directly up at him, in fear that she would break down any moment. "How do you expect me to respond to this?" At least her voice was strong.

"How about you love me too?" He offered in that same almost sarcastic tone he always had, yet his sincerity was still there.

"How about I'm leaving," her voice shook slightly as she pushed her way past him.

He turned and fallowed right after her. "Doesn't what I said mean anything to you?"

She stopped and turned to face as the crowd around them started to count backwards to from ten to one.

"I'm sorry Harry, I know it's New Years Eve, I know you're feeling lonely, but you just can't show up here and tell me you love me and expect that to make everything alright. It doesn't work this way!"

She turned her back at him to leave once again, and once again he went fallowing after her.

"Well how does it work?" he demanded.

She paused to look back at him, "I don't know! But not this way."

Right as she was about to turn around and leave again, he grabbed her arm and pulled her around.

"Well how 'bout this way!" he voice set to tell her everything. "I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out, I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich, I love that you get a little crinkle up on your nose when you look at me like I'm nuts, I love that after I spend a day with you I can still smell the perfume on my clothes, and I love that you are the last person I want to talk to when I go to sleep at night! And it's not because I'm lonely! And it's not because it's New Years Eve! I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible!"

She watched in amazement as he went of on his tangent, and yet that hurt in her heart was starting to go away.

"You see, that is just like you Harry!" uncontrollable tears started to spill over her eyes. "You say things like that and you make impossible for me to hate you!" She took a breath and looked at the man she loved. "And I hate you Harry, I really hate you." Yet her voice, look, and heart all said clearly that she really meant "love".

They stared at each other, knowing that finally, after all those years, after all that time spent together, and after all the hell they just been though, they were finally together. The leaned into each other…

"LIES!!!" I screamed as I paused the movie and threw used tissues at the screen as Harry and Sally leaned into each other about to kiss.

Angrily I wrapped the blanket around my body even more and threw myself on the couch in a very childlike manor while I glared at the frozen image on the TV.

It had been four very long weeks since Edward had left, and I have displayed a very interesting side to the female psyche.

The first week I was basically comatose. I just sat around and stared off to space, unsure of what was really going on around me. I remember Rose and Alice stopping by, worried because I hadn't answered their calls.. They must have taken care of me, seeing as I am still alive today, and somewhere in there I must have told them that Edward had left. They were good friends. They never asked me for any details, and they helped me by just being there.

The second week was when the flood of tears drowned my apartment. I kid you not. Alice and Rose had stopped by Costco to get a big package of tissues which only brought on a new set of tears when I remembered the times Edward and I had gone to Costco.

It was never a pretty cry either, nor an overly hysterical cry. Emmett said I sounded like a drowning bear.

And every little thing was making me cry. The first day of my crying week I didn't even make it past my room because I saw Edward's door to his room. Whenever I would see the piano it would always bring me to hysterics, until finally Jasper found big enough blanket to place over the piano.

Everyone was very sympathetic at first, and still are… to a point. But when I started crying over things like, "That's where Edward once tripped over the step," or "that's where Edward sat down to tie his shoe," they pretty much got annoyed with me.

The third week… wow. That was the week the gates of hell opened up in me. I was pissed off. Anything "Edwardy" I wanted out. I raided that empty room of his and threw out anything he left behind., It was mostly things like disposable razors and a stick of deodorant, but damn, I scrubbed that room from floor to ceiling. I was a little sad because it didn't smell like him anymore, but then I got pissed off with myself for thinking that.

I then raided my closet and threw out any clothes that he had complimented, and I told Alice that she could go out and get me any kind of clothes she want me to wear. I didn't care anymore.

I was really close to selling the piano, but I didn't have the heart to do that. The piano's home was still here.

The fourth week is coming to an end, and I have pretty much reverted back to a spoiled two year old. I forced myself to watch romantic movies because I am just that type of sick person, and with every movie I end up throwing things at the TV. Except for one movie that had a good ending, Titanic; bastard got what he deserved in the end.

Today's pick was When Harry Met Sally. I shouldn't have gone near it. Harry's line is still ringing through my head. "Men and woman cannot be friends with each other."

Oh Harry, I should have listened to you.

I heard the doorbell ring and grunted as I curled up in the fetal position and smothered my face in the couch. The only time I ever answered the door was when I had ordered takeout. If it was my friends, they all had a key and could get in on their own. I didn't want to deal with anyone else.

I heard two sets of foot steps, one a heavy clunking sound, the other the light patter of high heals.

"Oh Bella," Alice sighed as she went around the room turning on light.

"Noooo," I groaned into the couch as I let out a hiss when the light snuck in through the sides of my eyes.

"Oh Bella, stop acting like a vampire or something," Alice called out annoyed.

"But the light," I moaned. "It burns!"

"You are so overly dramatic," Alice huffed while I heard her steps head in the direction of the kitchen.

There was silence until I heard the heavier footsteps make their way to the couch. I felt a heavy weight ease into the couch, and a gentle hand start to pet my head.

"How you doing Bella?" Jasper's cool voice asked.

With a sigh I relaxed a bit into the couch. "I hurt Jasper." I replied honestly. "All the things he said… How could he say that?"

"What did he say to you Bella?"

I hadn't told anyone any of the details of what happened. It was partly because it hurt to say it out loud, and also, because a part of me still wanted to protect Edward. And I hated myself all the more for that.

I lifted my head off the couch slightly, only enough to see Jasper's concerned face. Maybe it was because I had not told anyone the whole story, and I just needed to get it out, and maybe because Jasper has always had this calming air about him, but I felt like I needed to vent to him everything that happened.

Alice marched back into the room right as I was about to open my mouth. "Bella, did you go into your kitchen even once this week?"

I smothered my face back into the couch. "No," I grunted.

The was silence for a while, probably one of Jasper's and Alice's silent conversations they were famous for.

"Well… I'm going to get going," Alice spoke slowly. "Are you ok with hanging out with just Jasper?"

"Yes, because just Jasper is such a burden," Jasper teased.

"I don't care," I mumbled, although I was actually relived that Alice would be leaving so I could tell Jasper everything.

They had another one of their silent conversation and Alice said one more goodbye before she left. The moment I heard the front door close I snapped my head to look at Jasper.

"I'm in love with Edward." I had not said it out loud before, and the feeling of saying it was such a relief, yet it brought on a fresh bunch of tears to my poor puffy eyes.

Jasper's mouth dropped, then closed, then dropped again. We sat there staring at each other while Jasper kept opening and closing his mouth trying to figure out what to say.

"When?" he asked finally.

I pushed my self up from the couch so that I was sitting up while I faced him to speak. "I have been in love with him for a while actually." My heart fluttered, and I had to suppress the urge to let out a girlish giggle. I had not allowed myself to really think about my love for Edward, and when it really began, so I felt like a teenaged girl while saying this.

"I started having feelings for him around Halloween… I think I can even track it back as far as my birthday to when a small seed was planted." I thought about the feeling when I danced with Edward on my birthday,but right as I felt warmth surround my heat, realization came crashing down.

I shook my head to get back to focusing. "After Halloween I was all kinds of messed up." Jasper lifted his eye brows and narrowed his eyes. "Ok, not like I am now, but I promise, internally there was some definite turmoil."

I could tell Jasper was trying to suppress a grin so that he could focus on the conversation, but even I couldn't help but realize how pathetically lame I sounded as I continued my story.

"Then I went out with Jacob, and I really did like him… in a more rebound, physical distraction kinf of way…" I hung my head in shame. "I used him. I didn't want to like Edward so I just thought that if I stuck it out with Jacob for a little bit, then my feelings would go away. But as time went on, my feelings for him grew. There was even a two week period where it is was getting almost painful to not jump him." Jasper gave me a shocked look. "I went to the gym with him, I saw him practically naked in the shower, and then he was really sweet by taking me ice skating."

Jasper quickly looked away as I described the painful two weeks I had endured an overload of sexy/sweet Edward.

"Then Christmas happened… and I kissed him…"

"Yeah… I heard about that one," Jasper avoided my eyes, and I swore that he was trying to hide a smile.

"Yeah, it wasn't the smartest thing for me to do, but he just looked so good, and those damn drinks were working their magic," I sighed. "But I screwed up big time with that. When Jake showed up, I was more mad at the fact that Edward was acting like a boyfriend when I couldn't call him that, and everything got messed up after that."

I felt the weight start to sink into my heart again.

"We never really made up, and after New Years we just grew more and more distant. I tried to make things better, like taking him to the photo shoot, but he just wasn't having any of it. I tried to ignore his bad moods and when he would say something really mean, but when someone keeps pushing you, you eventually push back, right?"

I looked up at Jasper, hoping for some kind of reassuring nod. He only looked down at me with pity. This got me angry because right now I was something to be pitied. I was pathetic fool because I let that jackass make me think that I was special to him.

"And then I tried again, and we went out to dinner… I was going to tell him that I had broken up with Jacob."

"What?!" Jasper jumped closer to me.

"Wow, so Alice and Rose really did keep their mouth shut," I wondered out loud.

"You broke up with Jacob? When?" Jasper kept his stare on me.

"A couple days before Valentines Day, I had thought that if I told Edward, he would back off. Some idiot I was."

"So you told him and he was still a jerk?" Jasper's mouth dropped.

"No, he was being a jerk the whole night, and I didn't get a chance to tell him. Not like it matters anyway. When he made that high school comment about me, it's obvious he never really cared about me."

"What do you mean never cared about you? He has been by your side this whole time," reasoned Jasper.

I sat up. "Ok, you know when you pass a homeless, dirty dog on the road, and you feel bad, but you never really do anything about it? Well it just so happened that this dog had something that Edward needed, a place to stay."

"I thought you were a homeless dog?"

"It's a metaphor Jasper, go with it." I brushed off. "The point is, he felt bad, but didn't really care. He never really cared."

I threw my head back to the couch and let out a frustrated moan.

"Bella," Jasper patted my head. "Why would you say that Edward never cared about you? I thought you said you could tell how sincere his apologies were?"

"I thought they were! But then when we were arguing when we got back from dinner, he basically said I was just as annoying as I was in high school, but I knew he was talking about the party because I said 'I thought we were friends' like I did back then."

"I know," Jasper sighed.

I looked up at him with a questioning look.

"Bella, I need to tell you something…"

Jasper's POV

Oh God, the time has come for me to tell her. I always thought that when I tell Bella that I was at the party it would because I had grown some balls to finally tell her, not to bail Edward out of this mess. Although he did screw up big time, he really should just fix this on his own…

But damn it, with her looking up at me with those large watery brown eyes, how am I not going to tell her this now?

"I guess I should start about a couple weeks after you moved to Forks."

Flashback

That shit-head was late again! Although I know who to blame for his lateness, that bitch girlfriend of his, Whoren, but that's just my pet name for her. I guess it could be worse, she could be cheating on him.

"Hey Jasper!" Edward's voice called out.

I turned to see my best friend running towards me. He had a wide smile, a smile to match the one he had when he told me he lost his virginity. He's been smiling like this for a couple weeks. I had figured that Lauren had decided to tryout some new kinky position, but I don't know… this smile seemed a little more… pure. Fuck, I sound lame.

"Hey, where the hell have you been man?" I slapped his hand and gave him a one sided hug. "I've been waiting here forever."

"Sorry," panted Edward. "But I had to finish up my Biology and English home work."

"Dude, those are your two easiest classes. You normally do your home work in class, but for a while you haven't."

"Yeah, well…" Edward walked past me to go into the pizza shop right behind me.

"Yeah well, what?" I fallowed after him. "That wasn't an answer. You've gotta tell me now. What's got your attention in those two classes?"

Edward hustled over to a seat and began to fiddle with his menu, a menu which he memorized when we were 8 and haven't looked at since we were 10.

"What makes you think there would be something to distract me in those classes, it's not like I'm easily distracted. You shouldn't just go accusing people like that Jasper, it's not cool."

I didn't say anything, instead I just looked at him. He was hiding his face between the laminated red paper, buy I could still see his knee bouncing a mile a minute, and his hands were holding tightly onto the menu.

"It's not cheating if you like talking to someone more than you do your girlfriend, is it?" Edward asked quietly from behind the menu.

"Dude, please don't tell me that Lauren thinks you're cheating with me?" I know Lauren was a jealous girl, but damn, thinking that Edward and I are having some kind of gay love affair thing… that's a whole new level.

"No she doesn't think I'm cheating with you!" Edward slammed his menu down. "But I do think she is starting to catch on. She is always asking why I'm in such a good mood after Biology and English. But I don't even like the girl… well not that way, I do like her, but I mean I'm in love with Lauren."

"Wow, getting everything off your chest I see," I grinned.

"Shut up! This is serious!"

"You can also tell me how horrible you feel for snapping at me today, twice."

"I hate you."

"Nah, you love me so much that Lauren thinks you're getting it on with a new kind of a love."

"That's just nasty, Jasper," Edward laughed.

"Hey maybe Lauren is into that kind of stuff," I said half jokingly.

"Fuck you man, that's my girl."

"Your girl, who, from what I heard in that little rant of yours, you don't even like to talk to."

"I didn't say I didn't like to talk to her…" Edward sulked.

"But you like to talk someone else more…" I lead off.

Edward sighed and folded his head onto the table. "I don't like her… I mean I do like, but not like that, but I can't see why someone wouldn't like her. She is smart, funny, brave, and I'm sure with a little work in the girly department she would be so beautiful; not that she's not pretty now… she's just…."

"Who is she?" As much as I love seeing a distracted Edward, I wasn't getting any information out of him.

"Her name is Bella." That same easy going smile he's had for the past couple weeks crept up on him.

"Bella…" I didn't know who this chick was, but if she got him away from Whoren, then I'd love her no matter what.

"She just moved here a couple weeks ago from Arizona," Edward smiled his infamous half a grin which had gotten us out of trouble so many times,"which is funny because I have never seen a girl as pale as she is."

I didn't say anything, I just let him talk.

"She is smart, really smart, and not just book smart, but about life in general. She knows how people feel around her, and how she can make them feel better, which shows how kind she is. And she is not afraid to tell me when I'm pissing her off, or if I'm being an idiot, or just plain stupid."

"I'm liking this girl more and more," I thought out loud. It wasn't like Edward had a really big ego, but he has always known that he was golden boy so it's definitely nice to have someone put him in his place.

Edward looked up at me with wide eyes. "Jasper you would love her! She is a really great girl, you two would get along great"

I raised an eyebrow, "You're not interested in her?"

"I have Lauren," he answered matter-of-factly.

"Because nothing can beat her," I mumbled to my self sarcastically. "Then you obviously have no objections if I go out with her then?"

Edward frowned. "You haven't even seen her."

"You already said she was a work in progress, but from what I've heard she seems like a cool girl," I shrugged.

"You wouldn't like her," Edward grabbed his menu and stared at it.

"Just a second ago you said I'd love her."

"Not like that," he snapped. "As a friend, you can only ever see her as a friend, because she can only be your friend."

We stared at each other for a few seconds, neither willing to let the other win.

Finally Edward sighed and set down his menu as he looked away.

"What are you not telling me," I asked.

"Bella and I don't have the same friends," he admitted softly.

"Ok…"

"Well… she doesn't really have friends, except for this one girl. Bella doesn't really fit in any group."

"So she loser, basically?" I asked blatantly.

"Dude! Jasper…" Edward looked at me as if I had just said something tactless.

"What? You are the one who is willing to give up a good friendship with someone just because she doesn't hang in the same social circle as you," I pointed out.

"We're friends…" Edward looked down.

"When do you guys hang out?"

"In class."

"Let me guess, Biology and English?" I paused for a second for him to look up at me. "But the moment you get out of class the two of you split ways and never even look at each other."

Edward began to fidget with his menu. "When you say it like that, I sound like a…"

"An asshole?" I offered.

"Look, you're not there at school with us," he defended. "It's different than what it sound, ok? Just forget it, and let's order some food."

Forget it? How was I supposed to forget it if every time I said something it would remind him of something Bella said?

I had to admit, from what he was telling me this Bella chick was funny, but I was getting a little tired of him talking about her so much.

It wasn't until I drove over to Forks to spend a three day weekend with Edward and his friends, who I had always gotten along with, minus Whoren of course, that I realized that Edward never talked to his friends about Bella. Her name was never mentioned, not even in conjunction to the two classes.

What kind of friendship was that? He obviously cared for this girl as one of his friends, yet he was not willing to talk to her out side of class. I wanted to judge, but the more I thought about it, I thought about the kids in my school who I never talked to outside of class. Sure to me they were just the people that you get to know because you're stuck with them, but still, I wasn't much better than Edward.

So I let him talk to me about her, and I sat there and listened while he went on and on about her.

I tried to hint to him a couple of times that perhaps he liked her, but each time that thick head of his wouldn't understand what I was trying to imply. So I finally just laid it out there for him. He acted as if I had just accused him of murder.

A few months went by, and Mr. and Mrs. Masen were going out of town which meant kick ass party at the Masen house.

Edward was all excited about this party when I brought up the topic to Bella, something he was all too happy to talk about.

"Man, it feels like I already know Bella," I started casually.

Edward chuckled as he followed me into my room, and he made his way to his regular seat on the small couch in the corner. "Yeah, I guess I do talk about her a lot, huh?"

"Yeah, but I don't care," I jumped onto my bed. "Just from what you are telling me, she seems like a really cool girl. I'm surprised that I haven't met her yet."

"Yeah… well… we don't hang out, outside of class," Edward sprawled out on the couch.

"Edward," I waited until he looked at me. "Do you think of Bella as your friend?"

"Yeah, one of my better friends," he sat up a little.

"So doesn't it make sense to at least have your best friend, me, meet your new friend, Bella?" I raised an eyebrow.

"It's a two way street," he defended.

"Yeah right, like the new girl would ask the golden boy of Forks to hang out?" I laughed. "Not going to happen, even if you guys do talk in class."

"You two would get along," Edward mumbled more to himself.

"Dude, if she is as awesome as you are, she'll probably get along with everyone at the party!" Sure I want my friend to get away from Lauren, and I'm getting tired of being the only one to know about Bella, but there was an honest part of me somewhere in there that wanted Edward to have his friend.

"You're right!" Edward sat up straight. "I'll invite her to the party, and there will be so many people there that they won't care if another person shows up."

It had always been easy for me to push Edward in the direction to get him to do what I want. This was no exception.

Edward sometimes needed a good push, and I was pushing away. Ok, so this girl may be a little socially awkward, but I'll stick by her and make sure she isn't left alone with Edward's other friends. Really, how bad could it be? I'd hung out with those guys, and they are all pretty nice.

Edward was a little more excited about this party than he was with past parties. I know he was nervous about Bella getting along with his friends, but this guy really needed to chill it.

"Fucking A," I sighed. "Can't you stop jumping your leg up and down?"

We were kicking it in Edward's room waiting for people to arrive. It was only 7 so really no one would be here for a while.

"Yeah, sorry," Edward stood up and started pacing making me wish that the restless leg would come back.

I could hear a patter along the tile hallway leading to Edward's room, and I could start to feel a migraine coming already.

"Babyyyyyyyy!!!" the demon woman came charging in with her arms open and flew to Edward.

I don't know how Edward manages to kiss her and not throw up. I just keep telling myself that I'll eventually have my best friend back, I just needed to wait her out. It's a high school thing, those things never last that long.

Right as Edward started to grope her ass, I cleared my throat getting both of their attention.

"Hey Jasper," her tone was like poison, and her eyes like daggers. She was just a whole lot of death. How can Edward not see through her?!

"Hey Lauren," I greeted her in a too nice voice that always drove her insane. "What are you doing here so early?"

"I'm here to see my boyfriend, and be the good girlfriend of the boyfriend who lives here."

My God, she managed to say that sentence completely seriously and thinks she got it right.

"You mean being the hostess?" I asked while trying to fight back a laugh. It was a losing battle.

"Whatever," she hissed.

"You two be nice," Edward jumped in and gave me a look of warning.

The door bell rang, I lifted my hand in momentary defeat. "I'll go downstairs and be the good best-friend of the friend who lives here."

It may be bros before hoes, but the puss turns him into a wuss.

It got crowded pretty fast with people that I've seen, and all recognized me. I had been staying by the front door to keep an eye out for a girl who seemed a little out of place there, but I wasn't having any luck.

I finished off my beer a while ago, and needed something to keep this watch of the party going so I risked being away from the door to go grab another bottle. As I neared the kitchen I heard a pair of giggles that I recognized, and while my head was telling me to turn around, my other head was starting to rise to full attention from those giggles.

I really wanted another beer…

"Hey Nicki, hey Clair," I gave them my best easy smile which I had perfected for making girls fall for me.

Clair was the first to turn around. She had a round attractive face which was totally coated with makeup, but she didn't look like a clown, I'll give her that. Her short curly hair was in a perfect bob. I could only wonder how long it would be before someone disturb it. She had on skin tight jeans that left absolutely nothing to the imagination, and a red halter top that left her arms, neck, chest, and stomach for all to see.

Nicki turned her gaze towards me as well. She was just as short as Clair, they both came to my chest. Then again they were barely 5ft, and I just had another growth spurt and was reaching 6ft. Nicki had her trademark sex hair tonight. her dark blond locks flew everywhere. Her eyeliner was thick and her lashes endless. She had the same type of painted on blue jeans on as Clair, but she had an off the shoulder black top instead.

They were sexy as fuck, and damn it, I really wanted to make all of those jokes about a threesome come true. I know I have a soft (or really a hard) spot for short girls. I don't know what it is. But they are also the school sluts really; already marked territory… marked by many.

"Jasper," Nicki gave a breathless sigh and licked her lips as she eyed me.

"Careful there, you keep looking at me like that, and I'll think you are eye-fucking me," I grinned as I made my way over to the refrigerator.

"Baby, you clearly aren't reading our eyes correctly," Clair purred. "Right now we're blowing you."

I shouldn't have come in here, but hey, every guy should have a threesome in their life once… even in every guy in Forks has had the same threesome… No I needed to resist.

"You two are looking good." Not the best line to show resistance.

"You are looking amazing as ever," Nicki started to close the distance between us with Clair at her heals.

"Have you finally decided to come play with us Jasper?" Clair caressed my arm, and made me want to go play with them all the more.

"I'm here for the drink," I lifted the bottle to show them.

"And you'll stay for us," Nicki grinned.

Why was I resisting again? A perfectly good threesome is being offered to me on a silver platter, and I'm walking away from it? Fuck, Forks isn't my town.

Nicki was the one more in front of me, so I picked her up roughly and placed her on the counter as she giggled. Clair started to masterfully undo my belt, and kiss any place on my chest she could reach.

Just as I was about to kiss Nicki I heard the last person I wanted to hear.

"Right!" I heard Lauren's laugh mixed in with a few others. "My Edward invited you, Bella Swan, to this party." She spoke her name as if it was nothing more than dirt on her shoes. "Now why don't I believe that?"

Bella Swan. Shit, that was the girl I was supposed to be looking for! I pushed Clair out of the way and left Nicki on the counter to make my way to fix his mess. As I made my way through the drunken idiots I saw Lauren staring at a pretty girl in a plain t-shirt and jeans. Her hair wasn't as shinny as some of the girls here, and it was obvious that it wasn't styled. Even I can tell that she wearing any makeup, but she was still beautiful in her own way.

"Look, believe it or don't. I don't care, but Edward did invite me to this party." Her voice sounded like it was getting stronger, and I could hear a little bit of the person Edward had been talking about.

"Why would he invite you?" Nicki yelled out as she pushed her way through the gathering crowd.

Crap, there was a full blown crowd around her now, and the party had stopped to this girl's humiliation.

"Because," her voice cracked, "because we are friends."

People all around broke off into their own commentary. I clearly heard Clair yell out, "You, friends with him?"

Finally I heard someone yell, "Here he is, let's ask him!"

A very confused looking Edward was pushed to the center of the circle where Lauren attached herself to him instantly. I saw Edward quickly scan the room and try to evaluate what was going on, and I saw the realization hit him.

"Edward," Lauren's stupid high pitch voice sang. "Swan here has some kind of crazy idea that you invited her."

Now is your chance Edward. Tell everyone that Bella is your friend, and that they all need to fuck off. Stand up, and be a man!

"Oh, she did?" He kept his eyes on Bella the whole time as Bella stared right back. "Why would she say that?"

Both Bella's and my jaw dropped.

"So you didn't invite her," Whoren pushed.

"She must have heard me mention the party while I was talking to someone else," Edward looked away from her. "Why would I invite her?"

"Because we're friends!" she yelled at him while she bit back her relentless tears. "You told me that I was your friend."

"Are you two friends?" Lauren just kept fucking pushing.

Edward did a weird nervous laugh thing. "No, we are barely even acquaintances."

I wanted to go out there and punch Edward, and comfort this girl. I wanted to tell everyone how shallow they were for judging someone without even knowing them and that they were all cowards.

Yet, I couldn't move. The coward in me started to come up with excuses: Edward would fix this, this isn't my problem, she's a big girl and can handle herself.

But in the end, I was just a coward, and I just stood there and watched as she called Edward a bastard and ran out in tears. Tears that I helped cause because all I did there was stand there and watch.

Why couldn't I move? Why couldn't I be the man I wanted to be, the man that I thought I was?

Follow that girl out the door, tell everyone to stop laughing, and just make everything better.

The crowd broke up, and everyone went in their own directions to get back into the party. I could hear people already start to do impressions of Bella, and coming up with different ways to harass her on Monday.

Nicki and Clair came back to try and pull me away to a direction of a bedroom, but I was not in any kind of mood to do anything, especially not with either one of them as they started to criticize what Bella was wearing.

I saw Edward head up the stairs with Lauren right on his tail. It didn't look like they were getting away for a quick lay.

I told the slut duo to back off and, although it's not my style, said enough rude things to them so that they wouldn't be bugging me for our next few encounters.

Everyone was so involved with themselves that they didn't notice I was going up the stairs. Edward normally had a "no upstairs" policy.

"Why the fuck was she here?" I heard Lauren's voice sneer as I quietly stopped outside of Edward's room.

"I already told you," Edward answered in a voice that I had never heard before. He sounded worn, he sounded older.

"Do you think I'm stupid?" Lauren asked, and I desperately wanted to call out 'Yes'.

"People talk Edward," she went on. "You think I don't know that you talk to her all the time in your two classes?"

Edward must have looked surprised, because Lauren broke off in a cackle type of laugh. "You are popular, and for you to completely ignore everyone in class just so you can talk to the loser girl next to you isn't normal."

"We just talk about class," Edward tried to defend himself. Although what he should have been saying was that Bella was his friend, and if she had a problem with it, then they should just break up.

But instead Edward stayed silent as Lauren went on to tell him what it means to be popular, and they had an image to maintain.

Finally Lauren's voice got lower, and I had to strain to hear her over the music. "I never want you to talk to her again."

"No," Edward spoke up, shocking me and probably Lauren as well. "I need to apologize to her. I basically just let her hang, and I need to fix this."

"Have you not been paying attention to what I have been saying?" Lauren yelled.

"I hurt her!" Edward yelled right back, the first time he had ever raised his voice to Lauren. "I told her to come here, and I abandoned her when she needed me. I'll apologize to her and make everything better."

They were both quiet. I was doing a little mental victory dance in my head imagining the two of them breaking up, and Edward getting with Bella.

"Do you think she will forgive you?" Lauren interrupted my mental dance.

"What?" Edward asked.

"I'm not sure if you exactly understand how horrible you were to her," Lauren went on. "She basically doesn't have any friends, and you probably confirmed her worst nightmare. Girls are not like guys, we can't forget like you."

"She'll forgive me," Edward answered back confidently.

"Why should she?" Lauren pushed. "Why should she forgive you? You are obviously ashamed of her, and if you were really sorry then you would apologize outside of class, but even then she probably wouldn't forgive you."

They were quiet again, and I felt sick.

"I'll see you downstairs," Lauren walked out the door. She saw me standing there, glaring at her. She smiled. "You're no better then he is," then she left.

I went inside Edward's room and saw him sitting on his bed with his head in between his hands. I sat next to him and copied his posture.

"She'll forgive me right?" asked Edward after some time went by.

"I don't know," I answered honestly. "We won't know until you apologize."

That was a rough night. Edward and I just stayed in his room sitting in silence as we thought back over our new discovery of ourselves. Around 2 am, another realization hit me. I was selfish, as well. Here I was dwelling on how horrible I am when I didn't even wonder what Bella was doing right then. Was she crying? Was she already over this?

I was hoping that she would not care about what went on to night, but my mind kept replaying her tears.

I left the next day after I helped Edward clean up his house. We were both quiet, too ashamed to face the each other, and too ashamed to even remotely enjoy our day.

By Monday after noon I was an anxious fool. Edward had told me that he was going to wait until Monday so that he could apologize to her properly face to face. I could practically see it in my mind. He would say his speech in the cafeteria in front of everyone, and everyone would realize that Bella was cool and Lauren was a bitch. I didn't exactly know how that would work out, but that was what I was hoping for anyway.

It wasn't until four in the afternoon that Edward called.

"Hey, you said you would call earlier," I jumped right in. "Please tell me it's because you have spent all that time fixing things with Bella."

"I couldn't do it," he breathed.

"Wha… what?"

"I couldn't apologize," his voice was barely above a whisper.

"It's not that fucking hard," I started to get angry. "You just go up to her and apologize for being such a shit bag."

"Yeah, and it shouldn't have been hard to defend her from all the assholes who were being dicks to her, but neither of us could fucking do that so don't you judge me Jasper!" I could hear Edward pant on the other end of the phone.

He was right. I had thought I would have been able to defend a person being bullied, but I didn't do that. Who's to say that I would be able to apologize?

"What did you do?" I asked solemnly.

"I didn't say anything to her, and I was so sick of myself for not having the balls to just say a simple sorry, that I went to go ask if I could transfer out of the classes I had with her. But right as I was asking, she came into the office and heard me. Jasper, she was so angry and so hurt."

That was the last thing I wanted to hear.

"What are you going to do?" I asked.

"Just stick it out, and try to grow some balls and give her a decent apology."

"Tell me when you do, because I want to go right after you." I had already started to go over how I was going to apologize.

"I'll do it tomorrow for sure."

But he didn't do it the next day, or the next, or the next, or in the week or months following. At first he would call me up everyday to give me an updates, but each day was pretty much like the last. People were being extremely mean to her, and Edward still couldn't muster up the courage to apologize.

I had considered driving over to Forks myself to find Bella Swan and just tell her how sorry I was. I didn't have to wait for Edward to apologize first. I could do it on my own.

But again, I was similar to my best friend in that I couldn't get up the nerve.

Edward was torn up about it more then I was which was saying something. He would laugh with his other friends, do whatever it was to make Lauren happy, but I could tell how miserable he was. And although he hadn't apologized to Bella yet, he was doing all he do for her on this side of things.

He was able to help get them off her back a lot sooner than they probably would have otherwise, and there were several really nasty pranks that he was able to prevent from happening to Bella. So even if he never said a word to her, or even looked her in the eye, he was watching out for her.

We never talked about her again after that year, but even through out the years I always realized the smile he would get whenever he would hear Swan or Bella. He still cared (and I think he always will) for that girl, and although I never met her, I knew her completely, Bella Swan.

Back to present.

I stared as Bella's blank face.

I'm not even sure what you're trying to say here.

"So, he may have made that stupid comment about you being annoying like you were in high school, but I think that it shows that whatever it was that's really bothering him underneath must be pretty big if he were to mess up and say something like that," I concluded.

**********************************************************************

"You were at the party?" Bella stared at me with no emotions in her eyes.

"I am so sorry, Bella," I felt myself choking over my own breath. "I really meant to stand up for you, and I really meant to tell you, but I just really wanted to impress Alice, and if she knew I had hurt you like that before…"

"You were there?" Bella repeated.

"I know I am asking for a lot, but please Bella, please forgive me," I hung my head in complete disgrace. How can I admit something like that to Bella and expect her to forgive me just like that? Edward may have been the main one to hurt her, but I had kept it a secret.

There was a long silence as I kept my head down not wanting to see the tear stained face that had haunted me for years.

"It's alright," she finally answered.

"What?" I lifted my head and saw Bella actually smiling at me.

"Please, it's obvious how sorry you are," Bella shrugged. "But it's kind of comforting knowing that there was someone in the crowd that night that was hurting for me.. It makes me wonder if there were any other people who either felt bad then, or at least after the party. It kind of gives me hope back for humanity."

"So… you are really ok with me?" My mouth hung open.

"Yeah, you are still the Jasper I've always known. You've helped me, you've seen me though my ups and downs, and you've help me whenever I needed it whether I asked for it or not," she grinned at me. "Maybe it's because you were there that night that you and I are such good friends now."

I leaned in and grabbed her to pull her into a tight hug. "Bella you are an amazing woman."

"You say that now, but you still need to tell Alice," she giggled.

"Maybe it should be Alice that I really need to worry about," I laughed nervously. Finally I looked back to Bella, and with a serious tone I asked, "So you understand Edward a little better?"

Bella let out a sigh which held the entire array of emotions that she had gone though these past several weeks. "I understand that he probably didn't mean to say what he did, and there is probably another underliying issue, but until I know what it is, it doesn't make sense that he was such a jerk that last month and a half we lived together. I'm willing to forgive him only because I don't think I can possibly go on hating and loving a single person so much, but I need to hear it from him. He needs to tell me, and if he waits another ten years I will not be as understanding as I am now."

"I understand," and I did. Love and hate are two emotions that people say are similar in many ways, but they are still entirely different. There are times when I'm perturbed with Alice, but even then I feel this overwhelming sense of uneasiness that I can possibly go on being angry with her.

So for Bella to both love Edward, and hate him, both to the extreme, is something for which I can truly feel sorry for her.

I glanced at my watch and was surprised to see how much time had passed. "I'm sorry Bella, but I need to go…"

"It's alright Jasper," Bella stood up from her spot from the couch, a feat unto itself. "This place is in desperate need of cleaning, and that goes for me, as well."

"Getting back to normal?" I asked.

"As much as I can," Bella brought her brows together in a pained expression. "I can never be normal when the other part of my heart isn't here."

I pulled Bella into one more hug before thanking her one last time, and apologizing again.

As I walked the short distance back to my apartment, I couldn't help but feel as if I had a hundred pound weight taken off of me.

Not even a second after I unlocked the door Alice was in front of me. I pulled into a good long kiss and smiled as I stared into her eyes.

"How did it go?" she asked as she dragged me over to the couch.

"Well, she's cleaning and plans on taking a shower."

Alice screamed and threw her arms around me. "Jasper, that's why I love you! You are so amazing and such a wonderful guy!"

"You really think that?" I asked as I rested my forehead on hers and watched as her smile lit up her whole face.

"Yes, you are an extremely good man who always has the best intentions," she closed her eyes to kiss me gently.

When she pulled back I opened my eyes and smiled. "It's good you think that, because there is something I need to tell you…"

OK. So first off Nicki and Clair are based on good friends of mine. They do NOT act like that in the slightest. They are the nicest girls you can ever meet and they basically look like how I described them, only not slutty. Haha So shout out to the two of them!!!

Some may say that Bella forgave Jasper too easily, but she has grown since Edward came back into her life and she sees that Jasper is a good guy, but really her punishment for him is that he has to tell Alice, which I think is punishment enough.

Next chapter I'm not sure who's POV it will be in. And I'm not sure about title. It will probably be call: One more

And if you fallow me on Twitter, my SN is tbjac89 then you can get updates on what's going on.

OH and I'm going to Disneyland on Friday and Saturday, not really important info, but I'm just really excited (I haven't been there in a while)

Sorry again. Only 4 more to go!!!!!!!