Chapter Twenty Five
I believe in memories
They look so, so pretty when I sleep
Hey now, and when I wake up,
You look so pretty sleeping next to me
But there is not enough time,
And there is no, no song I could sing
And there is no, combination of words I could say
But I will still tell you one thing
We're better together.
~Better Together by Jack Johnson ~
It took us longer to get back into the city than I anticipated, hitting the rush hour traffic as we entered Seattle. Neither Jacob nor I said another word as we drove.
Everything that had needed to be said already had been.
Finally we pulled into the street where The Paperback was. Jacob pulled to a stop outside and looked down at me with a sad smile, finally releasing my hand. I returned the smile, feeling a slight loss in my chest for what could have been. I knew that there would have been goodness in it, but I couldn't bring myself to mourn it, not when I had something so much more precious in its place.
"Do you want a coffee? My treat." I asked quietly and he nodded, rubbing his hands into his eyes.
"Yeah. It's been a long day." He said and then gave me a smile that was more like his usual happy one. I returned and slid out of the tow truck heading to the door of the store.
It was almost empty; Jasper and Siobhan were at the desk, Leah and Seth were wiping down tables, except for the one where Edward, Rosalie and Alice were sat. They all looked around as we entered and I gave them all a weak smile. Jasper eyed me.
"Geez, Swan. I send you out on one errand and you're gone for over three hours."
"My truck died. And I mean really died." I said in a sorrowful tone. Jasper sighed, shaking his head.
"Do you need to take a moment?"
"I'm sure that I'll get over it. But I made Jacob haul his ass all the way out to rescue me, so now I owe him coffee." I said, looking over at Leah, who went to the café and began pulling out mugs. Jacob went to Jasper and asked him where he could unload the boxes, but I moved over to Edward. He was sat on one of the high stools at the counter and I slid my arms around him, burying my face in the crook of his neck and inhaling deeply. All the anxiety of the day melted away instantly and I let out a soft sigh as his arms tightened around me, warm and secure.
"Is everything alright?" He murmured in my ear and I nodded, lifting my head to see his face. He looked slightly concerned and I gave him what I hoped was a reassuring smile.
"Yeah. I'm sorry I'm late."
"It's fine." He promised and kissed me softly. The second kiss that I'd had that day and the difference was enormous. A thousand sensations shot through me at once and I shivered. His arms tightened around me and he laughed softly, kissing me once again.
I felt eyes on us and pulled my face away from him, looking round. Jacob was staring at his feet, but I was fairly certain that he hadn't been a moment ago. Guilt flooded me and as our eyes met, he gave me a half-smile before following Jasper out to load the boxes onto a trolley. I glanced back at Edward to see his eyes on my face, frowning slightly. Then a look of resigned understanding crossed his features and I bit my lip before running a finger down his cheek.
"Can we get out of here?" I asked quietly.
He nodded silently and we collected our things, saying a brief goodbye to Rosalie and Alice, who hadn't said a word since I'd gotten back. Edward took my hand and led me out of the door. We walked in silence towards my apartment and I let us in, feeling the tension building between us. I risked a look at his face. It was blank and that made me more nervous than if he was frowning.
I closed the door to my apartment and turned to see that Edward had crossed to the sofa and was sitting on it, staring down at his clasped hands. I felt unreasonable tears pricking at my eyes and blinked them back, biting down on my lip. It was sore, worn from my constant chewing and I ran my tongue over it, feeling the sting of the torn skin. Edward didn't look at me.
I put down my bag and crossed to him gingerly. He didn't move, still gazing at his hands and I sat onto the sofa beside him, before working up all of my courage and crawling into his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck and pressing my face to his neck again. Once again, his scent sent my pulse racing, yet calmed me immeasurably.
After a painful moment, his arms slid around my waist, pulling me close and I felt his lips on my forehead, sweet and soft. I lifted my face and met his eyes, still fighting back tears.
"Nothing happened."
"I know." He murmured, "But it was still…"
"I'm so sorry." I whispered, clutching at his shirt, tightening my fists as though this simple action could keep him here with me. He frowned a little, running his fingers over my cheek.
"Why are you sorry, sweet girl? You can't help the way he feels." He said, sounding faintly amused but I shook my head.
"I hurt him. I didn't mean to. And it hurt you too."
"You didn't hurt me. I was just…" His voice trailed away and his head dropped, resting against my neck. I repressed a shiver as his breath tickled my skin and I lifted my good hand, twining his soft hair in my fingers.
"What is it?" I murmured and he nuzzled my neck softly with his lips.
"… I was just afraid that you might have changed your mind. That you were having doubts."
He sounded so young, like a child confessing his deepest fear of the monster under the bed. I placed my hands on his cheeks, lifting his face so that it was level to mine and I drank in his eyes, the beautiful depths of them.
"Edward, I won't change my mind. Not ever. Not about us." I said desperately, needing him to say the same, needing him to reassure me. He breathed heavily, his eyes gaining that hooded look and my breath caught in my throat as a strange heat built in the pit of my stomach. One of Edward's hands grazed my thigh and he kissed me, and it was like the kiss we'd had just a few nights ago in his apartment. His tongue met mine and once again I tightened my hands in his hair as he shifted me in his lap so that I was straddling him on the sofa, his hands on my waist and then they slid under my shirt, his fingers splayed warmly against my back. It was hardly the most erotic of movements but those damn sparks flew from his skin onto mine, setting my nerves humming and every inch of my body tingling.
I gasped as his skin connected with mine and the heat in my stomach shot south, filling me. Edward's eyes opened and poured into mine; the next thing I knew, I was no longer perched on top of him but beneath him on the sofa, his hard body pressed against mine as we kissed ferociously. Gone was the gentleman, here was an entirely new side of Edward, one that I had glimpsed briefly that night in his apartment, but he was here without restraints now as his tongue pressed against mine, running over my lips before his mouth left mine, kissing the underside of my jaw and then trailing down my neck, sucking slightly at the point where my neck met my shoulder.
My eyes rolled back in my head and I slid my hands under his shirt, mirroring his earlier movement as I felt the warm skin beneath my fingers, ran them over the defined muscles and broad back. Without meaning to, my hips bucked, moving against his and he let a moan before falling still.
"Shit. We can't." He muttered and I actually groaned as he lifted his head, meeting my eyes. He was as frustrated as I was and I furrowed my brow, letting my hand run up to his shoulders.
"Yes, we can." I said, almost pleadingly but he shook his head, taking my left wrist in his hand and tapping the cast lightly.
"You have a broken wrist, Bella. Before it is completely healed, I don't want to risk any unnecessary pressure, especially not when you've already had injuries to this bone. And as I said last time, I don't want to rush this."
I stared at him for a moment before sitting up and pushing him off me with a sigh. He reached out an arm and pulled me to him, resting his head once again in the crook of my neck.
"Don't think I don't want to, Bella. I do, very much so."
"I can tell." I muttered, glancing down at the rather obvious bulge in his jeans. He noticed my noticing and cleared his throat awkwardly. I couldn't help giving a faint laugh and let my head roll back onto the back of the couch with a load groan. He laughed this time, running his hand down my thigh again.
"You have no idea how hard it is for me to resist you. And if we're going to do this, I want it to be for us and not as a reaction to… other things." He said quietly and I looked him in the eye. With a faint smile, I shook my head.
"If we were doing this right now, it'd be for us, Edward. No one else. You're not exactly easy to resist either, by the way. And I don't have a whole lot of self-control." I warned him and he gave me a surprisingly devilish grin, leaning in to kiss me again.
"Your cast is coming off the week after next and when it does, I thoroughly look forward to enjoying your… lack of self-control." He said, his voice filled with want and need.
And then, just to ruin the moment completely, my stomach growled loudly. Edward burst into laughter and stood, offering me his hand.
"I'd better feed you. What are you in the mood for?"
You, in every position imaginable.
"Italian?" I said out loud, mentally kicking myself. It was bad enough that I was turned on and not getting any, I didn't need my imagination to run away with itself too.
Edward took me to a tiny little Italian restaurant that I had never been to before. The waitress smiled at him flirtatiously, guiding us to a table in the corner. Edward thanked her politely and she gave him an upraising look up and down. I cleared my throat in an obvious way and she handed us our menus as we sat down.
"Can I get you any drinks?" She asked, eyes still fixed firmly on Edward. He didn't seem to notice, perusing the menu before looking at me with his crooked smile.
"Bella?"
"I'll have a coke." I said flatly and he nodded.
"Same, please." He said and the waitress disappeared, her strut a little too over-the-top. I stared after her in disbelief and then looked back at Edward. He caught me and smiled.
"Is everything alright?"
"Over than the waitress practically mounting you? Sure." I said lightly, looking down at the menu. Edward chuckled under his breath and reached across the table, lacing his fingers through mine.
"Was she?"
"Yup."
"She'll be very disappointed then. I recommend the ravioli. It's very good." He pressed his lips to my knuckle and then turned my hand over to examine the healing tattoo. I chewed my lip and he sighed slightly before kissing it swiftly. I smiled.
"I thought you disapproved of my tattoo?"
"Medically, I do, because I've seen what happens when they go wrong. But… I find it rather attractive." He said softly and lowered his mouth to the mark again, his tongue darting out and pressing against it. Heat shot through me and I let out a soft groan.
"Edward, what did I say about getting me all worked up and then not delivering?"
"I happen to think you look beautiful when you're all worked up." He said against my wrist, pressing another kiss upon the tattoo. I bit on my lip again, utilising all of my self control to stop myself from throwing myself across the table at him. I didn't think I had enough cash to cover the tip I'd need to leave for that scenario.
"Are you ready to order?" The waitress said flatly, as she watched Edward remove his mouth from my wrist and give me a dazzling smile.
"I'll have lasagne, please." He said, handing her the menu. The waitress jotted it down and then gave me an unhappy glance.
"Ravioli, please. And a glass of red wine."
"Make that two." Edward interjected and he looked at me as she disappeared, "Change your mind about the coke?"
"If I have to sit here watching her lust over you all night, I'm going to need some kind of sustenance." I warned him and he chuckled, sipping his icy coke.
The food was delicious and we ate quickly, splitting a lemon meringue pie for desert. It was only just after nine when we left the restaurant; Edward had insisted on paying and I made a mental note to slip a few bills into his pocket later. He looped his arm around my waist as we walked back to my apartment and I looked up at him, chewing my lip.
"Will you stay over tonight?" I asked quietly and he looked at me quickly, "Not for… I mean, I think we're pretty clear that that isn't going to happen, however lame I think your excuses are. I just meant that if you wanted to stay the night, that might be…" I fell silent, staring down at my feet and he laughed, kissing my temple.
"I'd like that. Do you mind if we swing past mine so I can pick up some things?"
"No problem." I smiled, a little relieved and slid my arm around his waist, leaning into him as we walked.
"I would ask you if you wanted to stay at mine, but I think Alice might spontaneously combust with happiness. Or you'd overhear her and Jasper, which I insist on protecting you from." He said lightly and I snorted with laughter.
"Yeah, that seems fair. I don't think my friendship with either of them could survive that."
We changed direction, heading to his flat instead. From the street, we could see the light on the apartment and he pulled a face.
"Wait here, I'll be two minutes." He murmured, running up the steps to the front door. I smiled to myself, leaning against the wall and tugging my hat on more securely. God, I couldn't wait for spring. I wanted sunshine and warmth and to put my hat away until next autumn.
On the other hand, seeing as Edward had kept my hat for a strangely long period of time, I might keep it around.
The door opened and Edward reappeared, holding a small bag and shaking his head in despair.
"It's a good thing you stayed out here."
"Jasper and Alice were getting busy?" I sniggered and he pinched the bridge of his nose.
"I'm investing in a great deal of disinfectant and I won't be using the bathroom until it's been thoroughly cleaned, put it that way. Come on, I'll drive us over to your place."
Well, at least somebody's getting some.
~*~
I thought it would be awkward – lots of uncomfortable silences and avoidance of eye contact, but Edward waited until I had gotten changed into my pyjamas, light blue flannel ones, and then bent down, sweeping my knees out from underneath me and carrying me to the bed. I giggled, like a little girl as he put me down on the mattress.
"Edward, what are you doing?"
"You're always accusing me of being a gentleman, I may as well play the part." He teased, climbing into the bed beside me. I rolled over, looking at him in silence for a moment as he adjusted the pillow and sheets, his hair tangled and beautiful. Once he had settled, his gaze met mine and he smiled. I smiled back.
"This has been a really weird day. But at least this is a good way to end it." I said and he cocked an eyebrow.
"Tell me about your weird day."
I started with the trip to the warehouse, the incident with Felix (Edward was remarkably unimpressed at that) and Emmett's arrival, the death of my truck, Jacob turning up to rescue me, the following conversation (minus attempted kiss, somehow I didn't think that would go down well) and then I shifted closer to Edward, resting my head on his chest.
"See? Weird day."
"Anything I can do to make it better?" He asked softly and I smiled.
"Kiss me?"
"Well, if I must." He smirked, pulling me towards him and giving me a soft kiss before reaching over and turning out the light.
~*~
Sunlight was streaming through the bedroom window when I woke. I rubbed my eyes, but didn't move. Something was different. Not bad. Just different.
It took me a long minute to figure out what it was. I was lying on my side, facing the window and Edward was pressed up against my back, his face buried in my hair. One of his hands was on my hip, the thumb hooked in the waistband of my pyjama shorts and as I stretched my legs, the hand moved down, tugging the shorts with it but only by an inch or so as he mumbled unintelligibly. Before he could wake up completely, I reached for the breath mints on my bedside table and chewed one, mentally cursing morning breath.
Edward let out a long sigh, the breath ruffling my hair and I bit my lip as the hand that was now dangerously low on my hip began to move, the fingers running over my clothed leg. Tingles shot across my skin and I pressed back against him, hoping he'd increase the pressure slightly but he chuckled, signalling his arrival into consciousness.
"Not a good idea, sweet girl."
"Don't know what you're talking about." I whispered, rubbing my hips and behind against him. I hadn't failed to notice his… morning condition. It was kind of hard not to notice. Not that I minded, particularly. He grunted and then brushed my hair away from my neck, placing an open-mouthed kiss just below my ear, trailing down to my collar bone. I moaned faintly and jerked my hips back against his. Immediately, his hands went to my waist and with a groan, he set up, clambering out of bed. He disappeared and a few minutes later, I heard the shower running.
Half incredibly amused and half incredibly frustrated, I sat up too. Damn. There was only one cold shower in this apartment and it was now occupied.
I decided to make coffee instead, walking barefoot around the kitchen as boiled the kettle. My cell began to ring and I picked it up, glancing at the caller I.D.
"Hey Jazz."
"Morning, Bella." He said cheerfully, "I just wanted to let you know that Mike called in sick, so I need you to work until closing. Is that OK?"
"Sure, no problem." I yawned, "I'll see you in a couple of hours."
"Thanks, Hells Bells. See you soon."
I hung up as Edward's arms went around my waist and he kissed my neck. I set my head back against his chest, closing my eyes.
"Good morning." He murmured, his lips pressed against my jaw line. I smiled.
"Good morning. Coffee?"
"Please. Who was on the phone?"
"Jasper. He needs me to work late tonight."
"I think you should call him back and tell him you can't make it, because I want to keep you." He said, in a very firm voice and I laughed, turning to wrap my arms around his neck and reaching up to kiss him.
"Well, tough luck. I'd quite like to keep my job."
"It was worth a try." Edward gave me that smile that made me melt and I kissed him again before dropping my arms.
"I'm going to jump in the shower. I hope you didn't use all of my hot water."
"I didn't use any hot water." He murmured in my ear, tongue darting out to brush the lobe. I groaned.
"Jesus, Edward. My cast doesn't come off for more than a week and this is your dumbass rule, might I remind you, not mine. I'd be happy to just hold my arm up out of the way and go for it. So tone it down until we can actually do something about the tension, because otherwise I'm going to go crazy." I said firmly, pushing him back. He gave me an innocent look and I rolled my eyes, going to the bathroom.
~*~
We spent the morning in my apartment, not doing much of anything. There was a decent amount of kissing, but with every passing moment I felt my attraction for this gorgeous man increasing. As it approached the afternoon I reluctantly began to get ready for work, peering through my wardrobe. It was very different to the state it had been in a couple of months ago, Alice's influence reigning over it. Edward sat on the bed, leaning against the headboard as I debated between two shirts and he smiled.
"You could just tell Alice to leave you be."
"No can do. She's got this way of making me do whatever she says." I said glumly, deciding on a v-neck shirt with grey horizontal stripes to go with the faded flare jeans and a pair of turquoise converses. I pointed at them triumphantly.
"However, I am still wearing flat shoes, so I still have a little bit of self-control!"
"I'm very proud." He laughed and disappeared into the living room so that I could get changed. I tied my hair back after I had dressed and rubbed some lip balm onto my chewed lower lip.
Edward caught my hand as we walked to the bookstore, pulling me close so that he could wrap his arm around me. It was as though he could bear not to touch me, not that I objected in anyway. It felt that way for me too, as though from the first minute that we'd touched, I'd been hooked on him, hooked on that electricity that shot between us.
He held open the door to the bookstore, smiling down at me as I ducked under his arm and he let the limb drop to twine around my waist again as we walked to the café area. Jasper was stood with Leah, handing her some papers but they both looked over as we came in. Jasper smiled.
"Thanks for covering, Bella."
"No problem." I said, coming to a stop and leaning back against Edward, without even realising I was doing it. He put his other arm around me, holding me against his chest as his chin dropped to my hair as Leah spoke.
"Bella, I want your opinion. I'm interviewing people for the café and since you and Jasper will spend the most time working with them, I want you to give me your thoughts on a couple of people." She said and I smiled.
"Sure. When are the interviews?"
"Day after tomorrow, I'll be making some calls this afternoon." She said, handing me the papers that Jasper had given her. I took them and Edward peered curiously over my shoulder. I mock-scowled, tapping his cheek.
"Don't be nosy."
"I'll get you guys some coffee." Leah said, moving behind the counter. Edward and I sat down on a couch and I crossed my legs underneath me, flicking through the papers. There were a dozen applicants for the job and only two positions available. Most were students and I immediately put several to one side. Edward eyed them.
"What's wrong with them?"
"They don't live locally outside of college; come summer, they'll disappear back home and we'll be short-handed. If you hire students, you want to hire locally." I said, still reading application forms. In five minutes I'd picked out five possible candidates and handed them to Leah as she brought our coffees over. By that time Alice had arrived and was kissing Jasper happily behind the desk before skipping over to us.
"Good morning!" She took in our position, me huddled into Edward's side and his arm around my shoulders and beamed. I rolled my eyes.
"I'm not a morning person, Alice."
"It's one pm!"
"Exactly. Tone it down, pixie." I grinned, sipping my steaming coffee. Alice was about to retort when her eyes widened.
"Mom?"
We all twisted around to see Esme walking into the shop, looking lovely in a pencil skirt and ruffled cream blouse. She smiled brightly at us, holding out her arms as Alice fell towards her and they hugged. Edward rose and I did too, watching as he kissed his mother warmly, embracing her tightly. She looked mildly surprised at the affectionate welcome and then her eyes went past him to me. I fiddled with the hem of my shirt but she held out her arms to me, kissing my cheek as she put her arms around me.
"Bella, sweetheart. It's good to see you." She said softly, holding me at arms length to look at me again. I felt the blood rush to my face and she smiled, patting my cheek in a motherly way before turning to greet Jasper.
"What are you doing here?" Alice bounced excitedly, love pouring out of her for her mother. Esme smiled as we all sat down; luckily there were no customers to disturb the conversation.
"I was picking up a couple of things for your father and I wanted to stop by and extend an invitation to Jasper and Bella."
Jasper and I looked at each other, but Edward and Alice seemed to understand, nodding. Esme smiled at Jasper and then me.
"Carlisle and I are celebrating our silver wedding anniversary in a fortnight. We're having it at The Four Seasons, in one of the smaller banquet halls. It's for family and friends and I wanted to personally invite both of you." She said. Jasper and I looked at each other in surprise and he nodded, grinning.
"That's really kind of you, Esme. I'd love to come."
"Me too." I said, smiling as well. I was smiling an awful lot today; obviously waking up next to a gorgeous man agreed to me. Esme beamed at us.
"Wonderful! Now, Carlisle wanted me to pick up some new book by Marcus Demaro. Do you happen to know which one it might be?"
"I'll get it." I offered and Jasper laughed.
"Yeah, get to work Swan, or I might fire you."
"Yeah right, Jazz. Like you could run this place without me." I smirked, getting to my feet and crossing to a display. Esme got up and followed me, examining the cover of the book I handed her.
"Yes, the title sounds familiar. If it isn't this one, I can always read it and come back for the right one." She said airily and glanced sideways. I followed her gaze to see Edward watching us from the café counter. A smile spread across his face as I met his eyes and I couldn't help but smile back. Esme's fingers wrapped around mine and she gave me a searching look before smiling and patting my cheek again.
"Thank you, Bella."
"For what?"
"For making him happy." She kissed my cheek again and crossed to the desk to pay for her book. I looked back at Edward; he was staring at me with adoring eyes and I felt something new in his gaze.
I felt loved.
A/N: Halloooo! I hope you enjoyed this one! I certainly enjoyed writing it. Damn, Bella wants some schmexing. I'm sure it'll happen eventually!
So… why aren't you all going to see We Will Rock You? It was obviously fabulous, the atmosphere is amazing in that show. Went to the stage door afterwards and got signatures from Galileo (Jon Boyden), Meat (Rachel Tucker) and Brit (Ian Carlysle). Then, feeling absolutely ill, I promptly passed out on the pavement and spent a good half hour sat on the floor with the nice security man. An eventful evening in all!
Better Together – This is Bella talking about how she could have had Jacob, but she's only worth anything with Edward. It's also Edward, thinking the same thing.
www(dot)polyvore(dot)com/cgi/set?id=11969800 – Bella's work outfit and her swan tattoo, cos I forgot to put the link in last chapter!
Reviewers will receive their chosen Cullen/Werewolf and a piece of lemon meringue pie!
Love
Katie