Alrighties, just so you know, it might take a little bit longer to update now, seeing as I have officially run out of my chapter reserves, and homework has decided to turn psychotic on me. However, if you guys keep up with the amazing amount of reviews you've been giving me, I might just be able to make an exception or two *hinthint* ;) Seriously, you're all so amazing. I can't belive that I'm almost at the 300 review mark! Because GaaHina is such an obscure pairing, I never even imagined that I'd get so far! Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed this story :D
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Dedication: my-threesome. I think you've reviewed every single chapter, and you've been reading this right from the beginning, along with my other story, which is amazing. Thank you so much, I really appreciate it :D
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'Cos finger by finger,
We're losing grasp
And I'm questioning the reasons,
Why nothing beautiful does last.
Any Day Now - Missy Higgins
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Chapter 25
I find it ironic how, on those few occasions where you wish that time would slow the fuck down, all it seems to do is go quickly. Before I knew it, the bell for the end of music had rung, and I was fleeing from the classroom and Gaara's presence. Maybe he wouldn't follow me? Maybe he'd give me my space? Maybe –
"Hinata?"
Shit.
I took a deep breath, before slowly turning to face him.
"Wait up a bit, I'll walk home with you."
I nodded meekly, and stood by the door, unable to refuse an order. But Gods how I wanted to.
The Blood of Ivory
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Chapter 25
He walked towards me, the image of calm, with his bag slung casually over one shoulder and his hair a scarlet mop on his head. His aqua eyes shone at me with an intensity that almost frightened me, and his kanji scar stood out stark red against his translucent skin. Realising that I was staring, I flushed, and looked away immediately.
"You coming?" he asked as he made to go out the door. I nodded meekly and followed him, forcing down the instinct to run.
The walk home was… tense. Neither of us spoke, but what was there to say? I'd barely spoken to him in the past two months, and was becoming increasingly aware that if I took one step to my left, I could be enveloped in the security of his arms. The last time I'd been held in those arms, he had kissed me, and he probably resented me for using him. For being so stupid and selfish and asking him to kiss me. A small part of me still regretted the act, but not much. Gaara's kiss had been soft, cautious, and incredibly sweet. It had been light and gentle, not demanding at all, and everything I'd ever imagined the fairy-tale kiss to be like. I was so glad that that had been my first experience with a kiss, and not Akumu's.
Akumu's kisses were rough and demanding. All tongue and saliva, with teeth clashing and trying to force his tongue down my throat.
The difference between the two left me completely baffled, and I could only compare it to when I had overheard Sasuke asking Sakura for sex. I'd never known that two people could willingly partake. That the female counterpart could be treasured and loved whilst the male built his pleasure. I was shocked by the revelation, to say the least, but maybe everything wasn't as I'd always thought it to be? Maybe… maybe those things I'd always considered to be so terrifying and abhorrent didn't have to be.
My epiphany shocked me, and an earthquake could have hit at that moment and I wouldn't have noticed. Gaara may have been aware of my detachment, but I couldn't have known. I'd completely forgotten about him.
What if sex didn't always have to be feared? What if it wasn't as bad for other people as it was for me?
What if, what if, what if… There were so many questions that I needed answers to, and I was suddenly so glad for Gaara's presence. He was the only person in the world I would feel comfortable asking for the answers to the questions I had.
I didn't become alert until we were standing at the front door, and I jolted in surprise. Gaara raised his brow at me, and I hastily got the key out of my bag and opened the door. He ushered me in first, and followed me. I walked straight to my room, not saying a word to him, but he followed me anyway.
Of course he followed me.
I didn't like it, but I knew he would. I just prayed that Akumu wasn't already waiting in my room (as he sometimes did), and was relieved upon seeing my room empty as I opened the door. Gaara leaned against the doorframe as I put my bag down at my desk, and I could feel his eyes on me the whole time, watching every move I made. It was unnerving.
"So," he began, finally breaking the silence. "Are you actually going to speak to me, or just ignore me like you have been these past two months?"
I lowered my head in shame and guilt, but didn't speak. He tried so hard to sound nonchalant, but I could detect barely-concealed bitterness in his tone, and was waiting for him to lash out at me.
"Y'know, most people would feel used or insulted, seeing as the day after you got me to kiss you you started to avoid me like the plague. But see, Hinata, I know something's up, and I'll be damned if I don't find out what it is."
Still, I said nothing, and feigned interest in the contents of my bag.
I heard his footsteps, and cringed slightly as they got near –
Too close! Too close! Too close!
- enough for me to feel the vibrations in the floor.
"Hinata, are you going to tell me what's happened?"
And oh, his voice. His honey and velvet voice, mixed with worry and care and stability and everything I needed so desperately. I struggled with myself to stop myself from lunging at him and having him hold me again. I gripped the back of my chair so hard that my knuckles went white, and barely choked back a sob to accompany the tears.
"Hey, come on, Hinata. You can tell me, you know?" He put his hand over mine, and I flinched at the contact, but didn't pull away. "I promised you that I'd never hurt you."
Why did he insist? Why did he always have to insist? He didn't know what was going on. How could he proclaim such a thing without knowing what was happening?
"S… stop," I eventually managed to squeak. "I… I can't… I just… p… please stop, Gaara."
The change in his demeanour was instantaneous, and his fingers curled around my upper arms as he pushed me – somehow angrily but gently – into the wall. My eyes found his, shock and hurt emanating from them.
"So that meant nothing to you?" he demanded, all at once absolutely livid. "So that kiss meant absolutely nothing to you?" He eyed me coldly. "Well, I'll tell you something, Hinata. It meant a damn huge amount to me, and I'll be damned if I let it go."
And he kissed me.
It wasn't soft and hesitant, as it had been the first time, but it wasn't Akumu's kiss either. His lips were pressed to mine, hard, but not demanding, and they moved across mine in ways that had my heart fluttering. It was the sort of kiss that could found empires or destroy them. I truly hoped it was the former, because this kiss… I cannot describe it. My eyes were staring at his closed lids, still in shock about what was actually happening. His kiss said everything that neither of us knew how to express. It told a story of pain and anger, of hurt and loss, of care and passion and need and desire, of shattered dreams and of hope. The hope that lay in the foundations of that kiss nearly had me collapsing, and I held onto him to ensure that I stayed upright. His hands slowly moved to hold my waist – carefully, so carefully. He was always so careful with me.
At some stage, I closed my eyes, and kissed him back, allowing myself to forget, and just be.
As I said before, school had gone crazy on me again :/ Basically, this weekend, I have to summarize a booklet, learn a monologue, fine-tune a viva-voce, re-do my drama logbook, do a music logbook, answer around 8 questions for english, write dot points for two topics in religion, fine-tune Syrinx for music, teach myself everything I was meant to learn in Ancient History (my teacher is crap) and read two books. Yay... Wish me luck :S
Reviews would be loved and appreciated :) And don't forget: they give me inspiration ^_^ So the more I recieve, the more I write, the more I update :D And everyone's happy ^_^
Much love, SapphireRivulet xox