SHURYU: More than Rivals?

A/N: It has been entirely too long. For a long time I had stopped being able to hear these particular character's voices and in turn been completely unable to write for them. Every time I opened my document to continue, my mind would draw blank. My sparse notes no longer made sense to me and I couldn't remember what themes and emotions I wanted to portray. I even eventually moved on to other fandoms. I hated myself for it. Often I wondered if I would ever finish or even continue this…

Today while digging through my hard-drive I found my copy of the Gravitation soundtrack along with a lot of other anime soundtracks I thought lost. Hearing it brought back memories. I began to be able to remember the motivations of feelings of these characters. Ryu's duality, Shuichi's uncertainty, slowly it's coming back.

I can't make promises when or if this story will ever reach its end or in what shape it may make, but I can say that I intend to continue as far as I can. For myself, for those who stuck through the years with this story, for the characters… for the story I wish to convey. I will do my very best.

Chapter 25: Without Shining Armor

Eiri Yuki never once thought of himself as ever being someone's 'knight in shining armor.' He also never thought that he would ever love someone so strongly again, after the Kitazawa Incident, as to want to be that said knight. But, as he sat, slumped against the passenger's side window of his own car, he found himself thinking that the idea in itself might not be as bad as he always thought. A few minutes later however, he regained himself.

He decided to blame his previous thoughts on a lack of sleep. Yes, that was it; the reason behind this new found softness. It was amazing what seventy two hours without rest could do to a man. A self imposed insomnia could cause a man's mind to go a bit soft around the edges, cause a man to reflect on scattered thoughts better left less than half formed. Rubbing the heel of his palm against his burning eyes and cheek, the author threw one last glance towards the side view mirror and the inky darkness beyond it. This was what a lack of sleep did to men, and it wasn't by any stretch of the imagination 'pretty'.

While the author had always had a look of tired resignation about him, that resignation seemingly aimed at the idea of forced dealings with those around him, he now looked exhausted. Not only was this exhaustion physical, as characterized by the dark black smudges so prominent under bloodshot eyes or the heavy slump in otherwise proud shoulders, but of the emotional variety as well. Combined with his already fragile emotional condition, this new stress trigger… well, he didn't want to think too deeply about it now. He was just thankful he hadn't started coughing blood.

…yet.

Idly he wondered if he could make it another day before his body succumbed to fatigue and collapsed all together. If it somehow managed not to, then it would be due to his lull in food intake, his cynical mind provided. He would have to eat something soon, he realized, if he wanted to keep going. It was hard enough continuing while ignoring his companion's worried glances and brother-in-law's worrying, sans sleep and his medications, without the added stress of remembering when and what to eat. But compared to finding his lover, food seemed rather unimportant to Yuki.

The blonde hadn't even realized he had sighed until the red head next to him gave him a beseeching look, one that begged him to try and get some rest, for both his and Shuichi's sakes. Shaking his head, the older man returned his eyes to the small mirror next to him. The sunrise was still a few hours away.

For not the first time, he wished himself to be the emotionless bastard he often pretended himself to be. Then, he imagined, he would be able to see the situation clearly and without the distraction of his own emotions tugging him this way and that. Hell, had he continued to be the bastard he'd been when he first met the bright eyed singer, none of this would have ever happened, he mused. But where would that leave them then?

His mind couldn't even imagine such a scenario anymore.

When was it that had become the case? Leaning his head against the cool window, the blonde supposed he would have continued as he always had: sleeping with nameless men and women every night, drinking until he passed out, and writing his sappy romance novels. He also supposed that there was a great likelihood he would have married Ayaka, although the marriage would have done little to nothing in the way of curbing his outrageous lifestyle. It would have just ended in her unhappiness and a strong sense of mutual resentment.

Watching the raindrops make their way across the glass in front of him, he knew it was all conjecture on his part. He had a strong feeling though, had he not met Shuichi when he had, his life would have most likely ended at rather prematurely and presumably by his own hand.

He owed the younger man for bringing some semblance of happiness into his life, even if the vocalist could be barely tolerable at times. But, Yuki supposed that had more to do with faults in his own personality than anything the pink haired man did, though he would never voice such thoughts out loud. Instead, he would find his younger lover and bring him home, trying in the future to be a better person to both of them. That's all he could do, he supposed.

By the time the first hints of light shone over the horizon, Eiri Yuki was fast asleep in the passenger's side seat of his own car, with his head resting lightly against a rain streaked window and a neutral look on his face as opposed to his usual frown.

Hiro couldn't help the small smile that graced his features when he noticed the blonde beside him had finally fallen into a fitful slumber. The sleep was sorely needed and Hiro was happy the author had finally managed it, even though his own body felt a twinge of envy.

Returning his eyes to the road in front of them, Hiro pondered their next possible course of action. As things stood, he and the author were at a dead end, with no leads as to where Sakuma would go next. Both men knew too little about the vocalist to even begin to guess how the man's mind worked.

After a while, Hiro pulled over to the side of the road. Getting out of the driver's seat, he did his best not to wake the sleeping blonde and was relieved when the other man showed no signs of noticing they had stopped. Once out of the car, the redhead shut the door and leaned back against it, staring up into the predawn sky.

"Where the hell are you, Shuichi?"

Hiro didn't expect any sort of divine inspiration at his question, so he wasn't particularly bothered when it didn't come. He was somewhat startled, however, when he felt a vibration in his pocket.

He quickly fished out his phone and opened it. He didn't even bother to check who it was. Few people had his number and all of them were currently assisting in the efforts to find Shuichi.

"Any luck?"

"Yes and no," came the voice of Tohma Seguchi. "While we have yet to locate Mr. Shindo, there has been a sighting of a man matching Tatsuha's description, which came in a few hours ago. Apparently he and a passenger were in a minor accident west of Tokyo. According to the other driver, they were heading south when the accident took place."

"Which will at least give us something to go on," Hiro elaborated, nodding. Sneaking a quick glance at the author, Hiro was relived to find the blonde still asleep. While the guitarist was happy to finally receive some small amount of new information, he wasn't sure how this new lead would pan out. As much as he and Yuki may have not seen eye to eye at times, Hiro knew himself not cruel enough to plant false hope.

"But how did you think to look for Tatsuha?" He continued, taking a few steps away from the vehicle.

"It was the only logical way Ryuichi could continue to act undetected. He knows we have people looking for him and he knows that anywhere he goes he is almost sure to be recognized. So he needs someone he can trust to do things on his behalf, someone he can control. That left only Tatsuha."

"So he's using the kid," Disgust pooled in Hiro's stomach.

"Correct. Ryuichi has really gone too far this time," Tohma sighed. The guitarist's heart went out the older man, thinking about how he would feel if he had been in his place. It was hard to think about. "Still…I am sending someone down that way now. I will call once I know more."

"Right. Thanks… for everything, I mean."

"Don't worry about it," the chuckle accompanying the words was anything but filled with humor. "And Mr. Nakano, we will find your friend. I promise you that."

To Be Continued