A/A: Never reread a chapter you wrote really late, when you're half asleep, because then you find all these stupid typos...and you feel really stupid...

Disclaimer: I do not own any cat, including Black Cat, because my dear mother is allergic. I do, however, have a dog, a gerbil, and a ferret. cuddles

Chapter Twenty-Five: author ran for her life from Rinslet and isn't here to name this chapter. Darn, what a shame

The cast of PotC huddled in the green room in a tight knot. All, save Creed, who was in the hospital, who was praying that this torment ended soon.

To say that Rins wasn't mad would be like saying Mt. Saint Helen's only let out a little steam, the oceans weren't all that deep, and North Pole was only a little bit nippy, and that USC and Clemson only had a friendly little rivalry.

Never before had the earth witnessed such a rage. It billowed out of Rins in the form of tears, harsh words and objects being thrown around the room in such a way that Newton's second law of motion (force equal mass times acceleration) was proven: put enough force behind a piece of chalk, and it's gonna hurt, no matter where it hits.

"HOW COULD YOU PEOPLE?!?!!" Rins screamed, "I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO SHOW MY FACE IN THE ACTING COMMUNITY AGAIN!! YOU PEOPLE HAVE RUINED ME!!" she sat down and began sobbing.

No one dared to breathe for a moment, but then, hesitantly, Train got up and went to her. He put out his hand to touch her back, but she swatted it away impatiently.

"Come on, Rins," he said encouragingly, "there's always tomorrow night."

Rins looked up and glared at him through her tears. "How will it be better, TRAIN?" she demanded, "NO one will WANT to COME and WE don't HAVE a fucking Elizabeth because you fucking shot that bastard Creed in his fucking HAND!!!!"

Train looked at the ground and whistled, muttering something about it wasn't his fault, he didn't over react, anybody would have shot Creed if they found the little motherfucker's hand near their privates.

Karma stood up. "YO!! Missus Director Lady Ma'am!! I have a wee likkle suggestion," he said in an overly loud, annoyingly cheerful voice.

"WHAT???" shrieked Rins, and everyone but Karma flinched back.

"Weeeeeeeeeel," Karma said slowly, "I was thinking, after all of that blood, there are lotsa crazies who is gonna show up." he paused, and everyone nodded thoughtfully, except Rins, who just stared at him, dumbfounded.

"And secondly," he paused here to give a discreet little cough, "well, this might not be entirely legal, buuuut," he paused again, and everyone leaned forward, "you said no one would 'want' to come, which got me thinking..." he blushed and looked away, as if ashamed.

"Well?" asked Rins, intrigued in spite of herself.

"HOLDRANDOMSTRANGERSATGUNPOINTANDFORCETHEMINTOTHETHEATRE!!!" he blurted.

There was a pause, as almost everyone sat up straight, evil glints in their eyes. "It'll work," they said in unison.

"Okay, so was solved our audience problem," said Rins slowly, "but what about an Elizabeth?"

It was Karma's turn to glint evilly.

"Why," he said with cruel relish, "you, of course."

note, we the editors (aka the authors other personalities) decided that first the silence and then the profanities that followed wouldn't interest our readers, so we cut them all out. Mogget: (the real author) ACTUALLY, I just have a migraine and don't feel like writing it. Beehehehehehelaughs at the genius behind her laziness

Rinslet couldn't believe that they had managed to convince her to be Elizabeth. She stood sweating backstage, waiting for her first entrance, amazed at how crammed the theatre was.

But then again, she mused, Karma and Train had had entirely too much fun with the whole "strangers at gunpoint" thing, remembering the maniacal looks on their face as yet another hapless victim was forced into the auditorium.

Her entrance was coming up.

A/N: Sorry for the late update. Between migraines and rehearsals and other meetings and baby-sitting and and and whatever else, I feel like EXPLODING!! maniacal laughter HAPPY B-DAY TO CRYSY-CHAN, MY POOR EMO FRIEND WHO JUST TURNED FOURTEEN!! breaks out sobbing She called me old! I'm not old!! I'm only a year older than her!! That's not old, is it?

DRAMA TEACHERS ARE DELUSIONAL CREATURES THAT THINK THEIR ACTORS HAVE ONLY TIME FOR THEM AND NOTHING ELSE IN THEIR LIFE IS IMPORTATNT AND THAT THEY CAN DROP IT ALL JUST TO COME TO REHERSAL TO BE AT THEIR BECK AND CALL, AND I SAY, SCREW MY DRAMA TEACHER BECAUSE I FUCKING SKIPPING REHERSAL TODAY BECAUE I HAVE A FUCKING MIGRAINE!!! Wow, that felt really nice, just to vent like that. Sorry to anyone who happens to be related to drama teachers, like Frizz, my friend who's mother is the drama teacher I just told everyone to go screw. heheheheheh PILLS MESS WITH YOUR HEADS!!

Homemade brownies with mini M&Ms on top to my reviewers. wow, those things are good. Made some last week. YURMY IN MA TUMMY!!

requim17: sigh Thank you for the cyber-hug. It does help, really. So do powdered donuts. I'm so tired. wonders off randomly to look for bed Damnit, the only reason I'm even up right now is because of some flipping power tools across the street that continue to rob me of my sleep. kicks construction workers

SpaceJunk: I'm worried...I've heard things about that guy you've been hanging out with recently. DON'T TURN INTO A DRUGGIE OR I SWEAR I WILL...evil whisper make you sorry. Seriously though, be careful. I know you hate me now.

CrypticAngel: 00 uwaaaaaaaaah, I LOVE THAT IDEA!! CAN I STEAL IT, CAN I STEAL IT?!?!?!?!

Serenity Maxwell: It might end well. But then again, what would be the fun of that? maniacal laughter

mahoakitti: Creed's was my favorite, too.

Yokokitsu: Hurm...Sven and Train, I dunno. That kind of thing would be hard to pull off and still make it good. has a sudden idea Scratch that last part. You'll get your shonen ai soon enough. goes off to plan diabolical plans