The Impasse

by BittenInCA

Bella Swan is the Editor in Chief of a successful magazine, life for her is simple and content until Edward Cullen takes the helm at Cullen Publishing and becomes her new boss turning her world upside down. AH/AU.

25. Oh No She Di'ent!

Soooooooo . . . . . .

Yeah

ummmmmmmmmmm

long ass A/N at the end of the LONG ass chapter!

Chapter 18

Oh No She Di'ent!

Charlie

Christ, could not one of these girls have a decent god damned mother to talk to about this shit?

"Daddy, are you listening to me?"

"Of course I am, Baby," I answered quickly grimacing.

"Oh, ok. Well anyway, my gas has gotten so bad and I am so bloated I feel like one of those huge balloons on a parade float. And don't even get me started about trying to go to the bathroom, nobody tells you about that kinda stuff, Daddy. One day you go to the bathroom and the next thing you know you're waiting two hours for your Baby Daddy to get home and carry your bare ass off the toilet cause your legs fell asleep. I mean, what the hell kind of practical joke is it that? I have gotten so fucking huge that I can't get my ass off the toilet?"

This is NOT my life, I have not become THAT man. Have I?

"Daddy, are you listening to me?"

"Alice, who was it moaning? Is everything alright?"

Alice made a disgusted tsk'ing sound that brought a small smile to my lips. "Never mind that Daddy, Emmett's just being a big baby and interrupting my conversation."

"Well, what's wrong with the boy, Alice?" Honest to shit, I couldn't give a crap what the boy was whining about but any excuse was a good excuse to stop the bare ass and toilet convo.

"Nothing to worry about, Daddy, Emmett just had a little accident, barely a flesh wound really but the big, giant baby is insisting that I take him to the emergency room."

There was a long pause while I cocked my eyebrow and waited for the real story. I knew that tone Alice was using very well and it damn well meant that she did something she had no business doing, like losing her virginity or getting pregnant. I waited a moment longer for Alice to crack and spill the beans. When she didn't, I knew whatever it was, it was pretty bad. I sighed and rolled my eyes taking a very deep breath.

"Alice, tell me exactly what happened to Emmett . . . . . . . . exactly."

"Daddy, nothing happen-" Alice was cut off by Emmett's hollering in the background.

"Nothing! Are you crazy Alice? You fucking stabbed me!" Emmett whined.

The hell? "Alice!" I commanded. "What is going on?"

I listened as Alice covered the phone and her muffled voice hissed at Emmett before coming back to the phone. "Daddy it-"

"YOU STABBED ME THREE FUCKING TIMES, ALICE, IT IS A VERY BIG FUCKING DEAL!" Emmett cut in from the background.

"Will you shut up, Emmett? I didn't even use a knife and maybe next time you will keep your big grubby hands to yourself!" I had to hold the phone away from my ear as Alice screeched her response.

My brows shot straight up into my hairline and every muscle in my body clenched. My jaw and lips barely moved as I growled, "Alice, how exactly did that boy put his hands on you?"

Alice went right into panic mode stumbling over her words as she attempted to talk me down off of the ledge. "Daddy, I swear it is just a case of pregnancy hormones. I made a box of strawberry cream cheese Toaster Strudels, and I had just sat down and got comfy, and Emmett came and tried to snatch one off my plate," she whined. I was stunned into silence by the utter stupidity of Alice's story. She snatched a butter knife off of the end table and stabbed poor Emmett three times with the knife. Because the knife was so dull, there was a lot of tearing and therefore a lot of stitches.

By the end of the story Emmett was taking the phone from Alice because she had become a blubbering mess. "Hey Chief, she'll be ok ,she's just taking this baby shower thing kinda hard," Emmett explained in a voice that sounded like his dog had just died.

Rosalie and Leah had thrown Alice a baby shower in Manhattan the day before, and of course my darling daughter was absent from the event, bringing the guest of honor to tears. Tomorrow they would be coming to Forks where Sue would be hostessing a second baby shower for Alice. As Emmett droned on in my ear, I made a decision that I should have made long ago.

"Emmett, put Alice back on the phone," I ordered.

Emmett didn't answer me but handed the phone back to Alice. It took another ten minutes of reassuring her that everything was fine until she stopped crying just enough for me to speak to her. "You'll be here early tomorrow, Alice?"

Alice sniffled into the phone, exasperating me further. "Yes, Daddy. We will be there by noon."

I tried to chat with Alice for a few more minutes and then gave up, bidding her good night. I set my cell phone on the counter and stared at it for a moment, then picked it up and made the call I had somehow managed to avoid making for months. The phone rang three times and was finally answered by my very morose daughter. Funny thing was, after not hearing her voice for 4 months, it did not make me happy at all to finally hear it now. In fact, it irritated the hell out of me to see how easy it was for her to pick up the damn phone and yet all these months she hadn't.

"Dad, is everything ok?" She asked as soon as she answered the phone.

What a loaded question. I had no idea how to answer. So I didn't.

"Be here by noon tomorrow," I barked at her.

"But Da-" I cut that shit off quick.

"That wasn't a question, Bella," I hung up the phone without getting an answer. I knew she would show up. I called Sue to let her know Bella was coming but the call rang through to voicemail. She was running all over the town getting everything set for the baby shower because the fact that my house looked like the Easter Bunny threw up all over it wasn't enough.

I walked into the living room and stood there looking at all the pictures for several minutes, thinking about the last handful of times I talked to my darling daughter and just shook my head. An utter cluster fuck of selfishness and poor decisions is what her life had become.

"Fuck it," I muttered. I hit the speed dial on my phone and made my way upstairs to get my shit together.

"Hey Chief, what's up?"

"Sam, I need you to come get me and take me over to Billy's place. We're gonna need to make a stop at the store on the way."

Sam chuckled and made a crack about getting arrested for elder abuse by being our accomplice in getting totally fucking smashed but apparently he was raised right because thirty minutes later he was loading three cases of Red into the backseat of his cruiser. "Damn Charlie, how fucked up are you planning on getting?" He chuckled.

"Bella's coming home tomorrow," I muttered.

Sam froze staring at the cases of beer and then looked at me. "I think I'll go get some more; the guys and I, we're gonna hang with you and Billy tonight."

I got in the car silently and watched as Sam jogged back into the Piggly Wiggly returning less than five minutes later with another case of Red and two cases of dark beer. As Sam drove us to the Rez calling his boys on the way, I couldn't help but compare his current actions to Bella's and wonder where the fuck I had done wrong.

Three hours later and somewhere very fucking deep in my mind I planted a "mission accomplished" sign. I could barely think at all, I certainly wasn't concerned about Bella. When Sue came to pick my ass up at 3 AM because all the boys and I had drank ourselves into a reckless oblivion, it didn't bother me a bit that she bitched my ass out the whole way to my place.

In the morning, when I woke to the sounds of numerous women squawking in my kitchen like hens, it was a different story. I groaned as I rolled over in bed and if it would not have hurt my entire body, I would have smiled at the glass of water and aspirin that was waiting for me on the nightstand.

After a shower and shave, I got my nearly incapacitated hungover ass downstairs to face the music and I knew it was gonna be really shitty music. Sue did not disappoint, she had my ass helping her with all kinds of shit I had no idea about and couldn't care less about. Before long, noon came and went leaving me pissed the fuck off, and before I knew it, my home was full with every female spanning all ages from Forks as well as the reservation.

Alice was doted on while Leah and Rosalie sat on either side of her like armed guards. I smiled at them as I watched from the kitchen; that's what family was supposed to do. Protect their own.

After playing some of the most ridiculous games I had ever witnessed and eating every scrap of food in my house, they all sat around crepe covered tables in the backyard and watched as Alice opened gift after gift after gift. The ooohs and ahhhhs were chipping away slowly at my testosterone but I was happy for my baby girl who was beaming at the head table handing each unwrapped gift to Leah like it was a treasure while Rosalie made a list of who gave Alice which gift.

All of the hens were laughing and smiling when the whole operation went into meltdown mode. Alice opened a box that appeared to be full of picture frames. Each frame had stick figures and at the top they said, Family, Mom & Dad, Grandpa, Grandma, uncle, and finally Auntie.

Sue rushed everyone out of the backyard and to their cars as Rosalie and Leah ushered Alice into the house and sat her at the kitchen table where they spent the next two hours consoling her. I stood in the doorway of the kitchen watching Rosalie look like a mental patient being motherly and soothing one moment and looking like she would slit Bella's throat the next moment. I imagine that I probably looked a similar kind of crazy because for every minute that passed I became more and more angry at my darling daughter.

Thankfully, Alice finally fell asleep at the table leaning on Rosalie, so Sue packed up Leah who was spending the night at home with her family. Sue and Leah quietly gathered their belongings and made their way over to me to say their goodbyes when the front door opened and slammed shut, waking Alice.

"Dad, are you here?" Bella yelled from the entry way.

We were definitely here, all frozen in place. Stress and tension immediately filled every space of the room, each woman's face conveying a different emotion. Sue was nervous and concerned. Leah took a protective stance by her mother as if she could ward off any further emotional damage Bella may attempt to inflict on her. Alice was in utter disbelief and Rosalie... Yeah, I could practically see the rage coming off of her like steam off of dry ice. This was going to be bad.

"Dad?" Bella came around the corner and froze in the doorway as she looked around and then rolled her eyes huffing. "So what, is this like an intervention or something?"

Wrong Thing To Say

Rosalie laughed sardonically, her eyes narrowed into tiny slits as she hugged Alice while staring Bella down.

"How very Bella of you," she laughed. "What other possible reason could there be for us all to be here a week before Alice's due date other than the all important Bella Swan?"

My eyebrows shot up in surprise as Bella shot Rosalie what was clearly a warning glance. Man, the girl had balls, had to give her that. "Why did you call me here, Dad?"

Oh hell no!

"Today was Alice's baby shower, Bella. You missed the one in Manhattan, so I thought maybe you should make an appearance and celebrate the fact that your sister is bringing a beautiful boy into the world. Does that mean anything at all anymore, Bella?" Bella grimaced and looked apologetically at Alice who sat quietly in Rosalie's arms and call me crazy but yeah, I did a quick inventory of the items on the table to make sure there were no butter knives present.

"Alice," Bella said quietly. "I am so sorry."

Alice gently pushed Rosalie away as she turned in her seat to face Bella fully. "You missed everything, Bella. I'm due next week and you missed it all," Alice's sad puppy dog eyes were killing me.

"Yeah, you missed a lot while you were gone, Bella," Leah said bitterly. "Like my birthday, and my first date, and the launch party Sports Illustrated threw unveiling the cover of the swimsuit issue with me on it. Or how about the fact that I am a Cover Girl and I have three commercials running right now? But you know what really pisses me off, Bella?" Leah paused and took a deep breath as if she was trying to calm herself. "You promised my Mom that you would look out for me. You promised her that you would be there for me and make sure nobody took advantage of me. You are a liar, Bella!" Leah grabbed her stuff and stomped out of the house leaving everyone to flinch as the door slammed shut behind her.

"Huh, hard to believe that she was your biggest defender while you were gone," Rosalie said with a click of her tongue.

Bella turned to Sue with shiny eyes, "Sue-" Sue held up her hand cutting her off.

"You have a lot bigger problems than me right now, Bella." Sue walked over to where Bella stood and took her hand in hers, giving it a squeeze. "You have a lot to sort out and Bella, you have your work cut out for you. We can talk anytime, ok?" Sue nodded at Bella and then smiled weakly at me before following her daughter out the door. Several minutes passed before anyone said anything.

Bella looked around, meeting eyes with Rosalie and me, and snorted leaning against the kitchen counter. "I really hope you're not holding your breath waiting for an apology," she said sarcastically.

Who the hell is this kid?

"Oh no she di'ent!" Alice exclaimed in shock.

"Why the hell would we expect you to start now?" Rosalie snorted.

And that is where shit went bad.

"Look, Rosalie, I understand that it may be difficult to see my side of things right now but could you please fucking remember whose side you're supposed to be on?" Bella snapped.

And here we go

"That is really fucking rich, Bella. Only you would run away from home for 5 months and then expect everyone to snap in line the second you decide that is the way things should be. No concern about the fall out you caused because this is the 'All Bella, All the Time' show. Well you know what, that doesn't work for me. That man is a zombie, Bella, a fucking zombie. You have broken him, and in the process all of us too!"

"Fuck you Rosalie! You have no fucking idea what I have been through the last five months. Of everyone, I expected my family to be on my side but I guess for some that's a little too much to ask, especially since you seem to be so buddy-buddy with HIM!" By the end of her little tirade Bella was screaming at Rosalie and Alice had moved to a chair on the other side of the table so that she wasn't in between them. She sat staring at the table with tears silently sliding down her cheeks. I knew that Alice's heart was breaking right before my eyes just as surely as my own was.

"Are you fucking kidding me, Bella?" Rosalie screamed. "You know, the only thing that surprises me about this conversation is the fact that I'm surprised you would say that! 'Whose side are you on, Rosalie; remember who your friends are, Rosalie; who's friend are you anyway, Rosalie; way to be loyal, Rosalie; pick a side Rosalie.' You know Bella, for someone who doesn't know shit about loyalty and selflessness, you sure are quick to point out when you feel others are not being loyal to you." Rosalie laughed sarcastically and the look in her eyes was absolute ice.

This was going to go down and it was going down now!

"Shut the fuck up, Rose. You're right, I do require absolute loyalty because I have a lot at stake, so pick a side, Rosalie," Bella growled.

I watched as Rosalie became eerily calm, knowing all the while that sitting back and letting this go down may not be the best course of action, but Alice and Rosalie had earned the right to have their say and I wouldn't take that from them.

Rosalie set her steely gaze on Bella and sat back in her chair making a show of straightening her dress and crossing her legs. "Fine, you want me to choose. I will. But before I do that, before I acquiesce to your demanding little ways, I have something to say. When the dust on all of this has settled, Bella, I hope you're going to be happy with the pile of rubble you have left of your life. When Alice is scheduling what time you will be coming to birthday parties and holidays so that you don't run into Edward and ruin everything, I hope you will be happy. When you're eating home alone in your righteous little penthouse dream come true, I hope that you will be happy. And when you see him, Bella," Rosalie's voice faltered just a little and she paused for a moment. "When you see him and realize that the man you fell in love with is gone because you killed his spirit and stole his soul, I hope you're happy. And in case you missed it, this is me choosing sides and I choose him, bitch!"

Rosalie got up and headed for the garage door but got only a few steps before turning around to face my daughter who was staring at her in utter disbelief. "I was wrong, I have one more thing to say. One of these days Edward is going to wake up and realize that you're not coming back. He is going to realize that at some point he is going to have to move on with his life, and we are all going to support him in that decision. And I hope to God, Bella, that when you wake up in your cold little bed and you open Page Six up to find a picture of him with Bree Tanner or some other little model hooker, that you are happy knowing that you threw him away so that you could be hurt, and lonely, and RIGHT in peace. Oh, and check your fucking email, bitch! Now I have said everything I have to say!"

My eyes quickly snapped to Bella and then popped wide open. She was almost blurry she was shaking so hard. She was furious and her fury was focused directly on Rosalie. Her fists balled up at her sides and she let out a blood curdling scream that seemed to go on for days, making Alice and I both bring our hands to our ears while Rosalie smiled tauntingly at her.

The next second seemed to have happened in slow motion. As soon as I saw Bella's muscles begin to twitch, I lunged at her catching her around the waist as she hurled herself at Rosalie. I kept her from reaching her intended target but she still managed to land a kick to Rosalie's stomach that left her gasping for breath. At that point, the only thing that was keeping Rosalie from charging Bella were the glances she kept throwing at a very pregnant Alice who was now wailing in distress.

I finally snapped. "That's enough!" I yelled bringing all movement to a stop as a hush fell over the small kitchen. I set Bella down and pushed her gently a full arm's length away from me and Rosalie and then took a deep breath, calming myself as much as possible before addressing them.

"Bella, get your ass to New York and send me a text to let me know where you are staying. I will deal with you in New York tomorrow."

"Dad, I don't-" Bella began.

"That was not a request, Isabella!" The walls vibrated and my voice boomed through the house in a series of echoes. I had finally had it. Bella's eyes went wide with fear and she nodded as she stood frozen looking at me.

As I stood staring at the woman before me and wondering where the daughter I raised had gone, Alice's soft, quiet voice seemed to overpower the space around us. "Bella?"

Bella's body immediately relaxed and her eyes softened as she looked at her best friend and woman who she thought of as a sister. "Yes, Alice?"

Alice shook her head slowly. "How could you do this to me, Bella? This is my baby shower, I'm supposed to be happy right now. This is the most amazing accomplishment of my life and not only did you miss the majority of it, you ruined what little I have left." Alice turned her head looking at the window as if she was refusing to look at Bella any longer. "I am due next week, Bella, and if you plan on being there at all, you will need to coordinate with Jasper to make sure Edward isn't around. You have done enough, I can't have you making things tense for me and Jasper on what should be the happiest day of our lives. I hope you understand but I can't really bother with feeling bad if you don't."

Alice's words were like darts hitting the bullseye that was Bella's heart, but her voice was soft and almost sympathetic.

Bella looked as if the rug was being pulled out from under her but she finally did something right in not arguing with Alice. She simply nodded and left the house quietly.

The three of us stayed in the room in complete silence for what seemed to be an eternity before Rosalie finally spoke. "So I guess you're done with me now, right?" she croaked.

I shook my head in a combination of disgust and irritation. These highly intelligent women were acting like fools and I was done with pussy footing around them. "What are you talking about, Rosalie?"

Imagine my shock and awe when tears began rolling from Rosalie's eyes. "Well, Bella and I aren't friends anymore and you're her Dad, so that means I should go, right?"

"That's it!" I punched the wall and winced as I felt a couple of bones break. "No Rosalie, you and Bella and not friends, RIGHT NOW. But you are still sisters and the two of you WILL fix this. It may not happen overnight, but it WILL happen!" I began to pace as my mind worked at a thousand miles a minute until finally I had the outline of a plan in my mind.

I went to Alice and helped her over to the couch. "Close your eyes and try and rest, ok little mama?" I smiled. Alice nodded and after I slipped her shoes off, she closed her eyes and fell fast asleep.

"Rosalie, I am not going to pretend that I'm ok with everything that was said here today. There is a time and a place for every conversation and no matter how heartfelt your words were, there will be a time and a place for you to make your apology," I sighed. "Please pack up all of Alice's gifts and call the jet. Let them know we will be there at six to go back to New York."

"Ok," Rosalie answered softly.

"Ok what?"

Rosalie gave me a watery smile. "Ok Daddy," she answered hugging me tight to her. I hugged her back and stroked her hair wishing once again that these girls had a mother figure for this shit.

"I love you, Rosalie," I said gruffly pulling away from her after a moment.

"I love you too, Daddy, and I promise I will try and do better," she said as she set off to pack Alice up.

I shook my head smiling and picked up the phone dialing with complete determination. "Dr. Cullen here," came the greeting from the other end of the line.

"Carlisle, it's Charlie."

There was a pause and some whispering as Carlisle told, I assume Esme, that I was on the line. "Hey Charlie, how are you?" He chuckled cause it really was a sort of ridiculous question.

"Sick and tired, Carlisle, I am sick and tired." I groaned. Carlisle chuckled again only this time it sounded forced. "Listen, Carlisle I'm headed out your way tonight and I plan on staying indefinitely. I was gonna be going out there next week anyway with Alice being due and all, so I'm just gonna move the operation up a little. This nonsense has got to stop and I can't sit back any longer and let these dumbshit kids ruin their lives."

The line was silent for a few seconds when I heard a resigned sigh. "You're right, Charlie. I have been trying not to get involved as the kids are grown and all, but if they are going to act like they are in junior high then, I guess, we should treat them like they are in junior high. What time will you be getting in?"

Carlisle and I discussed the logistics of the plan with Esme talking over him whenever possible from the background. "Woman, let the men speak!" he ordered at one point. Even I knew he was going to pay for that shit! Esme asked me to stay with them but I informed her that I would be staying in the very same place I always did when I had to go to that godforsaken city, the guest room at Bella's. There was a stunned silence and thaen Carlisle asked, "With Edward?"

"Well, he is my son in law," I said smirking.

Carlisle chuckled and this time it was genuine and made me smile. "I'm not gonna have to reset his jaw or anything, am I?"

I raised my hand up to inspect it, wincing at the pain when I tried to make a fist. "Nope, don't need to worry about that but uhhhhh, can you fit me in for an emergency appointment, Doc?"

Bella (Yup, that's right, I said Bella)

The drive to Seattle was a complete blur. I was so mad I could barely see straight and I probably shouldn't have been driving at all. A part of me wanted to tell my Dad to go straight to hell but I just couldn't. I had completely shut him out of my life all these months when he deserved more than that.

I returned the car to the rental company and, as I walked to the ticket counters, I became aware of the hum of excitement building around me. I rolled my eyes behind my very large and very dark glasses as I began to realize that this was the first time I had been seen in public in five months. I pretended to look for something in my purse and cursed under my breath as I realized that I would be on TMZ, Perez, Extra and every other tabloid entertainment show by the end of the night.

I waited in line at the first ticket counter that I came to and slid my titanium Amex across the counter along with my drivers license. "I need to get to Manhattan as soon as possible, please."

The woman behind the counter scowled at me and my eyebrows shot up in surprise as she slid my card and ID back over to my side of the counter. "We are an international airline, Ms. Swan," she said in a hoity toity stuck up accent.

I sighed and as I started walking away, she clucked her tongue at me and glared. "Ummm, is there a problem?" I asked sharply.

"Yup," she answered, her eyes narrowing even more. "I'm Team Edward!" She said and then turned and walked through the door to a personnel only area. "Great," I muttered. "This is going to be tons of fun."

It took another three hours and scathing glares from a woman on Team Edward before I was sitting in a first class seat to La Guardia. I was looking through the side pocket of my purse for gum when I came across a Blackberry I had never seen before. I looked around somewhat suspiciously and then turned on the display. There was a video set on the display ready to go, I frowned and hit the play button my eyes becoming immediately watery.

The video was of Rosalie sitting in a chair while Emmett gave her what must have been a lap dance, but looked more like a chicken having a seizure. It should have been funny and I would have laughed, but off to the side out of the way and by himself sat Edward.

Although he appeared to be looking in the general direction of the Emmett and Rosalie show, he was definitely not watching. His eyes looked vacant and... soulless. I clicked the video off and sat in my seat dumbfounded for a moment. I began to doubt some of the decisions I had made, I mean, I know it was wrong of me to just take off and not tell anyone where I was but...

I clicked the Blackberry back on and after a few pain in the ass minutes of waiting for pages to load, I was logging into my email box that had over a thousand unread messages.

I scrolled through the messages and once again tears sprang to my eyes. One name popped up over and over again. There had to be over a hundred emails from Edward. I got to the most current messages, one sent the previous week and the last message in my email box was from Leah sent earlier in the day.

I sighed and opened the email, taking a deep breath, knowing it was not going to be good.

Bella,

No matter how I feel about you right now, you deserve to
know the truth so I left this video for you. This was
actually a good day for Edward.

-Leah-

My mind was unable to form a coherent thought at that point so I went back to my inbox and opened the last email Edward had sent the previous week.

Bella,

I don't know if you are getting my emails and just

not responding or if you simply don't care. As promised

in an email I sent two weeks ago, I have filed for divorce.

I can't stand the thought of you being married to me when

you have this much anger and regret about us. My attorneys

have attempted to contact you and they have been unsuccessful, but I promise I have not taken advantage, or at least I hope that you will not think so.

We will each leave the marriage with exactly what we came in with, with only one exception. The settlement stipulates that I will retain ownership of the penthouse. I will, of course, buy you out, the payment to be deposited into your account. I wish we could have talked about this but I don't know where to find you and this penthouse is all I have left of you and I just can't bear to part with it.

I guess there is nothing left to say.

I love you.

I will always love you.

Edward

I was in full panic mode now going back to my email and scrolling up, I opened the first email Edward sent dated the day that I left.

"Mrs. Cullen, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to turn your phone off now, we are ready for takeoff."

I blinked at the pretty flight attendant several times realizing that this could very well be the last time I would be addressed as Mrs. Cullen. I tried to return her smile and failed miserably. "It's Swan, and thank you very much, I hadn't realized we were ready to go." The attendant smiled and walked away leaving me to my thoughts which, was the LAST thing that I wanted.

Charlie

The scene that met me when I let myself into Bella's apartment did not make me happy in the least. Edward had turned the place into a multimillion dollar shrine to my daughter. A coffee cup sat in the sink with a light impression of a woman's lips on the rim. Keys, sunglasses and other small knickknacks were strewn throughout the entryway, kitchen, and living room. The only thing that really pointed to something being amiss was the layer of fine dust covering all of the surfaces indicating that nothing had been moved or touched. I stayed as far away from the master bedroom as possible. I didn't even want to know what was going on in there.

Once I got myself settled in the guest room, I went into the living room and waited . . . and waited . . . and waited. . . until finally, around 1AM, Edward stumbled in, smelling like the inside of a bottle of whiskey.

It took him a few minutes to realize that I was in the room, but when he did, I was a bit surprised at his reaction which appeared to be not surprised in the least. He threw himself onto the couch beside me and pulled a half empty bottle of cheap whiskey out of his jacket pocket and handed it to me. I eyed it for a second before deciding I was probably going to need a drink or two before the night was over.

"Here to teach me another lesson, Pops? Cause I am all for it this time." Edward's voice was flat and his eyes appeared to be dead, but years as a cop and a father taught me different.

"Would it make it easier, Edward?" I asked as I searched his face.

Edward laughed sarcastically. "Two days, Chief, that's all I got left, two days."

"Two days for what, son?"

"Two days to be married to your daughter." He said with another empty laugh.

Tears began making their way down Edward's cheeks and I put my arm around his shoulders giving him whatever comfort I could without hurting his already compromised pride.

We sat in silence together for about an hour, passing the cheap bottle between us while looking straight ahead, until Edward's head fell onto my shoulder and his drunk snore filled the room. The next thing I knew I felt the whiskey bottle being taken from my hand and my shoulder being nudged.

"You awake?" Carlisle asked with a cocked brow.

I moved to sit up, wincing as pain shot throughout my body. "I am but my arm doesn't seem to be," I said removing my tingling appendage from behind Edward and smacking it until the feeling came back. Carlisle disappeared for a few moments returning with a glass of water and a couple of aspirin which I took gratefully.

"How was your trip?" Carlisle asked, to which I chuckled. You could always count on the Cullens for good manners even in the worst of situations.

I made my way into the kitchen and started a pot of coffee, my hand burning with every move, before turning to Carlisle. "It was fine, I guess," I answered leaning up against the counter closest to the coffee maker.

"Looks like it," He said nodding pointedly towards my hand which had managed to swell to twice its size overnight, "Yeah, I may be needing a little assistance with that." I chuckled.

"Is Bella here yet?" Carlisle asked while glancing back into the living room and confirming that Edward was still out cold.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and opened it, finding a text from Bella letting me know that she was checked in at The Plaza. "Yup, she's here," I answered as I typed a text to her letting her know that I would be at her hotel in a little over an hour. "Did you know that he filed for divorce?" I asked quietly.

My question was answered by the widening of Carlisle's eyes. "That can't be, Charlie, he loves her so deeply!"

I shook my head in utter disbelief as to the amount of damage our children had managed to afflict in such a short amount of time. "According to Edward, the divorce will be finalized in two days."

Carlisle and I stood in the kitchen listening to the sound of the coffee slowly fill the carafe and we remained quiet as I poured us each a cup, each of us drinking them black. Finally, it was time for me to prepare to see Bella. I showered and changed and when I walked through the ridiculously expensive apartment towards the door, I found Carlisle sitting on the sofa cushion that Edward had been weighing down previously. "He's in the shower," Carlisle answered the silent question asked by my crooked eyebrow.

"Bella's expecting me, I gotta get going," I said as I made my way to the door.

"Good luck with that, Chief," Carlisle called after me.

"You too, Doc, you're going to need it just as much," I smirked.

Carlisle rolled his eyes but his smile quickly turned grim. "Come to my office when you're done, I'll take care of that hand for you."

After Carlisle promised to text me the address, I was off and making my way down to The Plaza. Although it was not nearby, I opted to walk, something that I envied of New Yorkers, they walked everywhere.

Too soon I found myself in the elevator of the plaza making my way up to the room number Bella had texted me. After stalling for a moment outside of her room, I knocked loudly and waited a few moments until Bella opened the door and stepped aside to let me in.

We were both utterly silent as I sank into what could be the most comfortable chair I had ever encountered. Bella sat a cup of steaming black coffee on the table in front of me and then sat in a chair, bringing her legs up in front of her and wrapping her arms around them. "So, what are you waiting for? Have at me."

"About what, Bella?"

Bella rolled her eyes and snorted, and I had to resist the urge to throw her over my knee and spank her.

"Come on, Dad, coy looks ridiculous on you, just say what you came to say so this little talk can be a distant memory, ok?"

I stood up and walked to the picture window looking out over the city. So many lives were dissolving around me but down below the sidewalks and streets were packed with people whose lives were going on because that's the way life works. It wasn't going to stop for any reason . . . . or any person.

"You need to explain this to me, Bella, I want to understand what's going on."

Bella's shoulders relaxed slightly and I walked back to my chair and settled in. As the minutes turned to hours and the tears turned to sobs, I listened silently to Bella telling me her version of the story I had heard a thousand times from Rosalie and Alice.

When it was all said and done, I grabbed Bella a bottle of water from the refrigerator and handed it to her with a new box of Kleenex. "Why didn't you come home?" I asked quietly.

"You know he would have followed me there, Dad, and everything I was feeling was so out of control, I would have done or said something I didn't mean or couldn't take back."

I leaned back in my seat scratching at the stubbles on my chin as I looked at my only real daughter thoughtfully. "Now what, Bella? You can't hide from this forever. Hell, your divorce is final in two days!"

Bella stared at her hands as she wrung them in her lap, "I don't know what to do, Dad, I don't think I can forgive him."

"What? Wait, you said that you told him you forgave him in LA. You said that he demanded that you apologize too and that's what has caused this horseshit to continue. Which is it Bella, did you forgive him or not?" I demanded feeling my anger well up.

"It's not that simple, Dad!" Bella's voice began getting louder as we both became angry. "What the hell did I have to apologize for? Who did he think he was, showing up like that out of the fucking blue and than demanding an apology?"

I took several deep breaths and walked back to the window, yup life still moving on. "Let me ask you something, Bells, cause I am a little bit confused here. What is it that you are upset about right now?"

"Dad, were you not listening to everything I said? I thought he sold my magazine out from under me so I left because if I didn't, I am pretty sure I would have had a nervous breakdown or some other type of mental break. Once I finally learned the truth, I forgave him but-"

"Wait, stop right there," I said cutting her off mid-sentence. "I wanna take this really slow so that I understand what is going on here. You say once you learned the truth you forgave him, is that right?" Bella nodded at me giving me a look like I had just exited the short bus.

"Ok," I said as I thought over everything she had said. "Let's go back a little. You thought Edward sold your magazine so you left because you were on the verge of a mental break. Why, Bella? What was it that upset you so much?"

"Are you kidding me, Dad? That was my work! My blood, sweat, and tears. My name, the Swan name, and it meant something, it still does!"

Ok, now I was really confused. "What Bella, what does it mean, because from where I sit it doesn't seem to have meant much at all! You left. You didn't leave for a week to get your head on straight and then come back and fight. You left for good. You left your friends, your family your employees and your husband, Bella. So how much could it all have meant to you?"

Bella jumped up from her seat on the couch with her fists balled and her body tight, now we were getting somewhere.

"Don't you do that!" She screamed at me jabbing her finger in the air at me. "It may not have been the Charlie way but that doesn't make me wrong!"

"I didn't say you were wrong, Bella, I am just trying to understand. You say that you were upset, really upset. I understand that more than you know. You say you forgave him, and I think that was the right thing to do. What I am having a problem understanding, is why this shit is continuing?" I almost laughed as Bella's eyes widened when I cursed. That may have been the first time she heard me curse in her life.

"What would you have had me do, Dad?" Her voice shook with anger and reeked of resentment. "I had nothing to apologize for, so what was the right thing to do?"

"You know what, Bells, I don't know! You and Edward have created this relationship out of a series of fuckups and mishaps from the start. To tell you the truth, I'm surprised that you kept it going as long as you did. That being said, you girls brought these men and their family into our life and that's the way it's gonna stay regardless of what happens between you and Edward, so let's cut the shit, shall we, cause we are running short on time here. You said you forgave Edward in LA, then he asked you to apologize and all hell broke loose. I have two questions, do you honestly believe that you don't owe him an apology or is it that you think his fuck up was so much worse that he should have let yours slide?"

Bella stood there blinking at me as the seconds ticked away and my irritation grew. "Come on, Bells, answer the question"

Bella slowly lowered herself onto the couch, her eyes never breaking contact with my own, and I felt my heart start to break because I knew exactly what she was going to say next.

"Dad, why are you doing this? Can't you just be on my side and support me?"

"I swear to shit, Bella, you are so fucked in the head right now you have no fucking idea who your Goddamn allies and enemies are."

Bella's eyes grew wide as saucers and became glossy. "Daddy," she whispered.

"Don't you fucking call me that!" My yells bounced off all of the walls in the room and echoed, her shoulders flinching with each echo. "I have waited your entire life for you to call me that, Isabella, don't fucking rob me of hearing it for the first time on an occasion that is actually befitting the title!"

I paced pulling at my hair and making no progress as I tried to get my anger under control.

"Why are you doing this, Dad?" Bella asked in barely a whisper.

"Because you can't throw people away, Isabella, do you understand that? Edward isn't an old pair of running shoes or an empty cup of coffee! He is a human being and a good man. Regardless of how upset you are or what has happened, he is your husband and the problem here, Isabella, the biggest problem here is that neither of you knows what the hell that means! The two of you seem to think that marriage is something you get drunk and do in Vegas with no thought whatsoever as to what it actually means."

"I don't believe that," Bella said hurriedly cutting me off.

"Well, what the hell do you believe, Bella? Do you believe that this will be the last mistake Edward will ever make? That you will have punished him so thoroughly that he will have learned his lesson and be the perfect husband for the rest of your marriage? Do you think you're going to be perfect? What if you get Haute back? What if you get it back and rebuild everything and 5 or 10 years down the line one or both of you makes a bad decision and you lose it all? What if you end up living together in your old room at my house? What then?"

"What? You think this is about money? You think I would leave my husband over money?" Bella spat.

"Did you?" I asked as evenly as I could.

Bella leaned forward and sneered at me, "No, Dad. I did not leave my husband because of the money!"

"It was because you lost your magazine?"

"No! Haven't you been listening?"

"Right, right, it's because he made a mistake. He had a lapse in judgement and he must pay his penance until you are satisfied that he will never have the audacity to ask for an apology for the rest of the days of your lives?"

"Dad! What the hell are you talking about?" Bella cried.

"Then what Bella? You say you want me to be on your side? This is me being on your side, making sure that when you look back on this time ten years from now, it is with the peace of mind in knowing that you made the right decisions for the right reasons. This is me making sure that the decision you make is sound, so that I can support you knowing full well that I am not contributing to this madness. So let's go through this again!

"Edward made a very poor choice and hurt you. You left him not knowing the full story and once he found you, he apologized profusely with such sincerity that you forgave him only for him to find that your forgiveness was conditional. Your forgiveness came contingent on his asking for nothing of you in return so when he finally grew a pair and demanded that you apologize for abandoning your marriage, which by the way was also wrong, you told him to go fuck himself and you know what, little girl, he called your bluff and left. Now you are sitting in a hotel room all by yourself while mere blocks away your life is happening without you, so Bella, please, before I lose my mind, tell me what the fuck it is you are still mad about!"

"This is about him betraying me, Dad! This is about not knowing if I can trust him. This is about everything I worked for being being stolen right out from under me but most of all it's for all the pain I felt, all the pain I still feel. Who is gonna pay for that, Dad? Who is going to take that away?" She screamed

"You need to get your head outta your ass before you finish ruining your life, girl. You are the smartest person I have ever known and the fact that you can't connect the dots is killing me."

"This would go a lot faster if you would start making sense," Bella spat as she began leaving the room.

The last thread of patience I had snapped and I picked up the cup of coffee and sent it flying into the wall. Bella whirled around, eyes wide and mouth gaping at the coffee dripping down the wall.

"God dammit, Bella, when are you going to realize that no matter what you do or what you say, she's never going to give a shit?" I immediately felt guilty but it was already out there. Bella looked utterly confused for a moment and then her eyes popped wide open in confusion and disbelief which quickly morphed to betrayal and rage.

"Have you gone utterly fucking senile, old man? Granted you haven't been making a ton of sense since you got here, but now you're just babbling!" She screamed at me.

And the last thread of patience I had unraveled and then snapped. Before I knew it I was in front of her, my hands on her shoulders, crouched down eye to eye with her. "THIS is not about you and Edward, Bella. THIS is not about Haute, it is not about betrayal, it is not about Rosalie, and it is not about loyalty. THIS is about your goddamn mother who would sell you down the river for a coffee and a donut. This is about the fact that she has fooled you so many times into believing that she has changed only to crush you over and over. This is about you finally being able to hurt someone as much as she has hurt you and, baby girl, whether you realize it or not, you're smug! It's about time, right? Finally someone is paying for all the hurt you have felt over the years, finally someone feels just as bad as you do. Well congratulations, Bella, he does. Your husband is broken!"

I walked over to the window and stood there watching the city bustle below me as I took control of my anger. I could hear Bella crying softly behind me. The sound tugged at my heart and made my eyes water. I had missed so much of her life, I never had the opportunity to blow air on her skinned knee or kiss her aches better. I never got to teach her to ride a bike or, hell, even throw a punch, Jake did that.

By the time my baby girl came back to me, she was so used to surviving on her own due to Renee's negligence, that she barely even needed me. Much of my parenting had been done from the sidelines as an observer rather than as a participant. That was how she always wanted it.

After a few deep breaths I turned to her, ready to help put Bella together again. "Get over here and sit down," I urged as she continued to stare at me wide eyed, moving to the couch and sitting, her eyes never leaving mine. "I know that he made a bad decision, baby, but you need to own up to your mistakes, don't you think? And baby girl, you are without a doubt punishing him for your mothers mistakes . . . You are my girl, I know you and Bella, I know this is the truth."

I knelt in front of her, grasping her hands in mine and as gently as I could, said, "No matter how much you make Edward suffer, she is never going to be sorry for anything she has ever done to you. She is a bad person, Bella, and I'm sorry about that, but no matter what you do or how hard you try, that will not change. You are torturing yourself, Bella, living a life that sucks. Every single minute sucks, every single day sucks and you know what? She is doing great, going on business as usual."

My heart broke as tears and snot flowed freely down Bella's face. "But Dad, I'm not sorry for leaving, I needed to leave so I wouldn't completely fall apart and lose myself. I can't apologize for that, so now what?"

I grabbed a couple of Kleenex from the box and then looked at Bella's face and smiled, grabbing several more. We both chuckled softly and it was a relief to have a small break in the tension. I gently cleaned her face and tossed the used rags onto the coffee table as I continued to search her face.

"What are you sorry for, Bella?" I asked gently. "You don't think Edward doesn't deserve an apology for you leaving? How about Alice and Rosalie?

"I had to go," she said quietly.

"I can see that," I agreed. "But you didn't need to stay gone, that was a choice. A punishment, a 'fuck you' if you will. You hurt him on purpose and I think you realize and accept that now." Bella nodded lowering her eyes. "It's time to put your life back together, Bells. If you let this divorce go through, there will not be anything left of Edward for you to fix."

I sat on the couch next to Bella and just as I had the night before with Edward, I held her in silence as she cried and mourned her mistakes. Before long the side of my shirt was covered in snot and tears and Bella cried herself to sleep. I laid her gently on the couch and called down to reception requesting a wake up call in an hour. The girl had no time for sleep, it was time for action.

As I walked to her hotel room door a small quiet voice barely over a whisper called out, "Thank you, Daddy." And finally, I felt like one.

Bella

I was more than groggy when I woke up and wanted nothing more than to slip back into a sleep coma but I could almost hear a ticking in my head, the sound of my life being counted down.

As I readied myself to leave the hotel room, I could see the work that I had in front of me and the limited amount of time I had. Time had become my enemy and it was an enemy that I could not fight alone. So I readied myself for what would be the first of many battles.

It didn't take me nearly long enough to walk the six New York blocks and arrive at my destination. I took a deep breath and then about five more before I was finally able to lift my hand and knock on the door. I could hear the click of heels and I knew that it would be Rosalie greeting me. Her smooth and serene expression turned angry about a half a second after her eyes registered that it was me standing at her door. It took about another three full seconds of silence before she sneered and slammed the door in my face.

My jaw dropped cause in all honesty, I expected her to scream at me until she went hoarse and maybe even take a swing. This was bad . . . really bad. I started to raise my hand to knock again when the door opened and a very curious looking Emmett stood there. His easy smile was slowly replaced with with trepidation and confusion.

"Hi, Em," I said softly.

"Bella."

We stood there staring at each other for what seemed to be an eternity and my nervousness began to turn to anxiety. "I need to speak with her, Em, please?"

Emmett's face became dark and his eyes hardened, making me hang my head for a moment. Emmett was mad at me. What a nice large club he belonged to. "Bella, you know I like you, right? You're like a sister to me and I would do almost anything for you. Almost anything, Bella. I won't allow you to come into my home and hurt Rose. She has been . . ."

Emmett brought a hand up and covered his eyes with it and his jaw quivered slightly. As I watched Emmett begin to fall apart right before my eyes at his memories of Rosalie's pain, I truly began to realize that this was bigger than I had thought. It was about more than just Edward and I.

I waited patiently and in silence, and after a moment Emmett's jaw set and he lowered his hand. His eyes were hard and the bright green that had reminded me so many times of Edward, was nearly black.

"I have had enough of this shit, Bella; if you came here to make things right then you are more than welcome to come in. But if you are here for any other reason, then I won't have you in my home."

I wanted to raise an eyebrow at his inadvertent announcement that he was now living there with Rosalie but I didn't dare, hello inappropriate.

"Em, I can't promise you that I'm not going to upset her. There are some things that Rosalie and I don't see the same way and we are going to have to find a way to agree to disagree on those things. But, we do need to talk this out. I won't allow what we have to crumble," I said, my voice cracking.

Emmett searched my face for a moment and then sighed, stepping aside and opening the door for me to pass. I walked in to find Rosalie still standing in the entryway, leaning against a wall. Her expression was troubled as she watched Emmett but she didn't look as upset as she did when she opened the door.

"Rosie, will you talk to me?" I asked softly.

Rosalie's sighed but her gaze did not meet mine. She was still looking towards the door where Emmett still stood. She smiled slightly at him and then turned to face me fully. "Come on," she said tightly. "I just made coffee."

I followed her silently to the kitchen, taking in the changes to her home. Rosalie's apartment was only about half the size of the penthouse and some of her ultra posh furniture had been changed out for pieces that didn't match her style or taste. I smiled briefly realizing these were signs of she and Emmett melding their lives together.

When we got to the kitchen, I sat at her small table and set my purse on the floor and watched as Rosalie moved through the kitchen. I tried to take the opportunity to gather my thoughts and think of what I was going to say to her but my mind kept coming up blank. Before long she was setting a cup of coffee in front of me and a plate of cookies between us causing me to arch a brow at her.

"Shut the fuck up," Rosalie snapped at me. "I've been hanging out with Esme a lot!"

My mouth gaped a little as I stared at Rosalie until finally we both started to giggle which turned into full on belly laughs. Soon the laughter died down and Rosalie and I sat looking at each other, and before longs tears that had nothing to do with laughter were making their way down my face. Only a moment later Rosalie and I were hugging each other tightly and crying together. Of course, that didn't last long.

We both sat back in our chairs and I took a long sip coffee and a deep breath. "Rosalie, I am feeling a lot of things right now about us. I am angry, I am hurt, and I am so very sorry. But what I feel the strongest about is that I love you so much and it is not an option for us to leave things like this. I need you in my life, I won't have it any other way."

Rosalie tapped a long manicured fingernail on the table as she listened to me and when I paused, she sighed scrubbing her face with her hands in what I imagine was pure frustration.

"I think we are both feeling the same way right now," she admitted with a sigh. "I don't want to fight with you, Bella, but I am really hurt and angry. I get why you left, I really do. What I don't get is why you stayed gone without a word to us. Alice, Charlie and I, we would have wanted to know where you were but we would have settled for being able to hear your voice. That wasn't fair, Bella, you didn't just leave Edward, you abandoned us all." Tears began rolling down her cheeks and she sobbed as she said, "When did I become the enemy, Bella? And what happened to our promises to always be honest and get through things together?"

Rosalie's words took me back to that day in the closet when I was upset with Alice for keeping it a secret that she had been designing. I was so hurt and upset about that and yet it never bothered me in the slightest that I had done the same thing on such a monumental scale to my friends and family.

Rosalie's face was pained as she told me how she felt and, for the first time, I felt shame for having reacted so strongly and failing to regard anyone's feelings but my own. She was right, I punished everyone for issues that should have been confined to Edward and I.

I was a hypocrite.

Several hours, 3 cups of coffee, 2 martinis, and 3 large pizzas (2 for Emmett) later, Rosalie and I were well on our way to better. We would both need more time and talking to heal but we both knew that we would be okay and that meant the world to both of us.

"So, what now? What about Edward?" Rosalie asked with thinly veiled curiosity.

"I don't know where to begin, Rosie, I have made a huge mess of things and I'm really not sure if fixing it is even what he wants." I said picking up my martini and shooting it.

Rosalie clicked her nails on the table as she contemplated what I said and studied me closely before she spoke. "He is still in the penthouse, Bella, he hasn't changed a thing. As long as that is the case, you still have a shot. well, if you keep your keep your head out of your ass that is."

I grinned and laughed softly but truth be told, her words were powerful to me. I believed Rosalie when she said I had a chance but I also knew the weight of her words. I would have to tread carefully and not fuck up. Edward and I were on a level playing field, we had wronged each other and we both had a lot to answer for.

Rosalie walked me to the door and Emmett came over and hugged me not saying a word, his loyalties were to his brother and I respected that. I hugged Rosalie to me and she hugged me back rattling off a quick list of things she would take care of and then pressing her laptop into my arms.

As I walked down the hall toward the elevators, I knew she was watching me. I stopped in my tracks and turned, smiling softly at my sister. "Thank you for taking care of him, Rosie, I will owe you for life." We exchanged a long and meaningful look and then I turned and left, making my way back to the hotel. There was a lot to do and not much time, once again I had my work cut out for me.

Secondhand Serenade "Your Call"

Bella,

It has been two months since you left. I have written you every day, sometimes multiple times a day. I think I am losing my mind, baby, I really do. I think I see you everywhere, I smell you, I hear you and sometimes it is so vivid, I actually reach out to touch you. And that's when I crash.

You took something of mine with you, Bella. I wish it was something meaningless like a favorite shirt or CD, but you took my heart and my life. Since you left, all of the color has drained from my life and I spend all my time in darkness waiting for your return. Now I wonder if that will ever happen, but no matter what my head knows to be true, I cannot stop my damned heart from hoping.

As much as I want to stop the hurting, my heart still calls to me from wherever it is you are keeping it, and I know for certain that I would make any sacrifice necessary to have even one more night with you.

Please Bella, my remorse is an endless well and I will spend every single second of the rest of my life making it up to you if you will just give me a chance.

Please Bella, please give me a chance at life again.

Love,

Edward

I sat in my hotel room with tears streaming down my face as I read email after email. My husband, my Edward, pouring his heart out to me every word saturated in pain, longing, and apology.

I read for several hours more before slipping into an exhausted sleep. When I woke in the morning, I knew immediately that I had overslept and a rushed glance at the clock on the bedside table told me I had less than an hour to make it to the courthouse in downtown traffic.

I quickly called back to the front desk and found that Rosalie had indeed come through for me. I requested the packages be brought to my suite and left in the living room and asked that a Towncar or taxi be waiting for me before jumping in the shower.

With no time to waste, I hurriedly showered and but did not wash my hair, opting to put it up in a messy bun. I tore the boxes that Rosalie sent over open and put on what was in them without even registering what I was wearing. Twenty minutes later, I was in the back of a cab heading towards the courthouse, a hundred dollar bill with the promise of another once we arrived assured that I would only be twenty minutes late.

I practically threw the money at the driver as I leapt out of the taxi and ran up the steps and into the courthouse where a bailiff instructed me where to go. I felt like the star of a poorly written romantic comedy, coming just in time to hear the judge say, "Well, the settlement does appear to be equitable and since Mrs. Cullen has seen fit not to attend the proceeding, I feel comfortable making my ruling."

"Wait!" I called out bringing all eyes to mine including the dull and lifeless eyes of my husband. Edward looked at me for several seconds with no reaction whatsoever before turning his back to me and facing the judge. In that moment I knew that all of the pain that I had felt before was an appetizer to this, the main course. My heart felt as if it was in a vice being maimed and destroyed beyond recognition.

"Mrs. Cullen, I presume?"

I tore my eyes away from the back of Edward's head and focused on the judge. "Swan," I corrected from habit and then winced.

The judge made an irritated tsk'ing sound and glared at me. "Ms. Swan, I am sure we all feel honoured to be in your presence finally. Now, would you please have a seat next to your counsel, so we may proceed.

I walked slowly towards the front of the courtroom and an officer opened a small waist high gate. When I stepped through, I was just a few feet from Edward and had to fight the impulse to run to him. Instead, I turned to the smartly dressed woman sitting at a table by herself, obviously my counsel. "Your honour, I have no idea who this woman is. I have never met her and she is terminated immediately from representing me in these proceedings." The woman looked at me in shock for a moment before snapping her mouth shut and glaring at me. I took a step towards her and leaned in whispering, "I'm so sorry, I need to stop this and I don't know what else to do."

The woman nodded and stood gesturing that I should sit beside her. I did so as the judge who I had clearly irritated snorted, "So which is it, is she fired or not?"

"Your honour, my client has had a change of heart and wishes to keep me on as counsel but we will need to seek a continuance to revisit the settlement," she explained.

At her words Edward's head snapped towards me, his eyes a mixture of hurt and confusion. He met my eyes for less than a second before looking forward again with a blank stare. "This is highly irregular, Ms. Swan, I have reviewed the settlement and it is overwhelmingly in your favour. Mr. Cullen has been very fair. Are you sure this is what you want?"

My attorney opened her mouth to speak but I laid my hand on hers and rose from my seat. "Your honour, may I speak on my own behalf?" The judge considered me for a moment and nodded that I should proceed.

"Your honour, I have been away and was only made aware days ago that my husband filed for divorce. I feel that this is rash and a terrible mistake, I plead with you to please grant a continuance so I may have an opportunity to speak with my husband. Please your honour, I love my husband more than anything. Please give me a chance to fix my marriage."

I sat slowly as the judge stared at me, contemplating my words. He held a heavy pen in between his fingers and tapped it against the heavy wood of his bench. After a moment he turned his gaze to Edward, I had no idea what it was he saw there but after a moment he turned to his paperwork and then looked up to speak.

"This divorce was filed as uncontested due to abandonment, this is clearly no longer the case and as such I have no choice but to grant the continuance requested. Thirty days from today we shall meet back once the correct paperwork has been filed. I strongly urge you to have a settlement agreement in place before we reconvene or I will take it upon myself to come up with one on my own."

With that the judge brought his gavel down and retreated into his chambers leaving me without a map to navigate through the mountain of mess before me. Edward quickly made his way to the door with his attorney calling after him and rushing to catch up, but I was faster. Just as he reached the door to the courthouse, I grabbed his arm. "Edward, please talk to me, just for a moment, please," I pleaded.

As he turned to look at me, I gasped, bringing my hands to cover my mouth. His eyes were void of any emotion, they looked dead. Edward turned and left, his gate smooth and quick as I stared after him. A moment later I found myself in the back of a Towncar as my attorney introduced herself to me and proceeded to advise me as to how it is that she would proceed. I didn't hear a word.

I spent the next six hours in the bar of my hotel getting as drunk as possible. That was why I thought I was hallucinating when Bree Tanner sat next to me and ordered me a cup of coffee and a bottle of water.

"I think you have had enough of this," she said, prying the glass of whiskey out of my hand and motioning for the bartender to take it away. "I really don't want that," I slurred motioning to the cup of coffee.

"Yeah well, you're gonna need it to get this down," she said pressing two aspirins into my hand. I looked at the pills in my hand and smirked.

"Keep it coming," I said holding my hand out. Bree dropped two more in my hand and I swallowed them down with the scorching hot coffee. "So, now that we got that out of the way, you wanna tell me what you're doing here, as if I don't know. Gloating is classless, Bree, really," I said with disdain, taking another gulp of the coffee, tears coming to my eyes as I remembered the countless times Edward poured the exact amount of hazelnut creamer I liked into my coffee in the morning.

Bree sighed and picked up my clutch riffling through it until she found whatever it is she was looking for while I looked on with surprising disinterest. "Come on," she said taking my arm and helping me slide off the stool. "Put that on her tab please," she called to the bartender as she led me to the elevators.

Once we made it to my suite, she deposited me on the couch in the sitting area and sat on the opposite side. "I really hope you are sober enough to remember this tomorrow," she said eyeing me suspiciously. I remained quiet wondering what Bree Tanner could possibly want with me.

"I ran into Edward a couple of weeks ago." I sat up and leaned towards her, very ready to attack her in this room, on my couch. "I won't lie and say I had honorable intentions, but things change." I leaned back bringing my legs under me, my curiosity was getting the best of me.

"I saw on Twitter that he was in a bar by my condo so I just happened to show up there. As soon as I saw him, I knew he was completely wasted. I planned to take him back to my condo, fuck him, and clean him up and become the savior he needed. He had his head down on the bar, when I nudged his shoulder he picked his head up and looked at me and called me Bella. My heart broke for him, Bella, and all I wanted to do was help him. I was able to get him outside and was about to get him into a cab and take him back to my place when a guy came out of nowhere and called his name. He said he was a friend of yours and knew where Edward lived, he acted like I should have known who he was cause he played baseball or something.

I gave him my cell phone number and asked him to call and let me know that Edward had gotten home okay. A few hours later he called and said that the doorman had let them in and locked up behind them." She explained

My mind was spinning trying to absorb her story and for several minutes I sat quietly while Bree called down to room service and placed an order. Before long, I was scorching my throat with a steaming cup of coffee I was chasing aspirin down with. I wondered briefly how much room service asprin would cost me but mostly, I was completely numb, pictures of Edward's dead eyes flipped through my mind over and over, causing me to seesaw back and forth between conviction and my desire to fold. I don't know how long I sat there but before long I was sober and acutely aware of Bree sitting and staring at me.

I couldn't help but think back to the day I set her up to find Edward and I fucking in his office, I tilted my head and narrowed my eyes at her but her expression did not change in the slightest. "Why are you doing this, Bree? What's your angle?" I asked quietly.

Bree gave me a hard stare for several long seconds before sighing and slumping down in her chair. "I'm not blind, Bella, I have seen all the pictures of you guys, all the clips of you on E!. I know how happy he was," she said resignedly. I arched a brow at her and she quickly looked away, "I owe him, okay," she answered curtly.

"For?.." I asked with maybe a hint of too much attitude.

Bree gulped and started at a spot on the wall. "That's between him and me." I wanted to push but I was too tired and I really did feel as if I should respect that whatever it was Bree was talking about was actually a private matter between the two of them. We sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity but, despite my best efforts, I was unable to fall asleep. My mind refused to quiet and allow me to drift off. Before I knew it, the sun was coming up and it began to filter through the ridiculously expensive drapes. I began to panic.

After a night of drinking, brooding and useless thinking, I was no closer to figuring out what I should be doing or how I should be going about it. I stood and began pacing frantically until watching Bree sleep in an uncomfortable position on her chair became too much to take and I threw a wadded up paper towel at her. I almost cracked a smile watching it tag her in the forehead and startle her awake. "What the . . . What happened?" She gasped.

I scowled and continued to pace until I was startled by something pelting me in the back of my head. I spun around and glared at Bree who had the hotel phone in her hand. "You gotta love 5 star hotels," she said with a smirk. "24 Hour room service. Yes, could you please send up 2 orders of eggs, bacon, whole grain wheat toast, orange juice and coffee please? Thank you!" She chirped and hung up the phone.

"What are you still doing here?" I demanded.

"Penance," she shot back. "As soon as you come to your senses, I'm outta here, so it would be awesome if you could hurry it up."

I didn't hurry it up. I continued pace as Bree ate her breakfast while watching me. Before I could tear all my hair out, I flopped down in the chair across from Bree and hung my head. "He wouldn't even look at me," I whispered. "How am I going to fix this if he can't stand the sight of me?"

"Snap the fuck out of it, Bella. This whole 'woe is me' attitude is not becoming nor is it getting you anywhere."

"Well, what the hell would you do, Bree? He won't even look at me!" Bree rolled her eyes and in that moment I really did wanna pull her hair out. "I can't believe that he won't look at you, Bella, maybe he thinks that if he does, you will disappear right before his eyes. Or maybe he doesn't trust your intentions, or maybe you just haven't put in enough effort! Edward is a good man, Bella, a very good man and you know what, if I were in your position, I wouldn't be staying in some swanky 5 star hotel. I would be camped out on his doorstep day and night for however long it took until he realized that I am serious."

And just like that it seemed as if my entire world became just a shade brighter. Why the fuck didn't I think of that? I brushed my teeth and threw my hair in a haphazard bun and ran to the door grabbing my purse on the way. As my hand touched the doorknob I stopped and turned looking at Bree and opening my mouth. I couldn't make any words come out, I knew the tears would come if I tried.

Bree proved to be the lady I was not by looking away. "Don't sweat it, Bella. Like I said, I owe him." I nodded at her and she smirked. "I'm also gonna spend the day at the spa here, charging every single treatment I can possibly have to your room."

I smiled and nodded, darting out the door and trying very hard not to think of what I was about to do. Before I knew it, I was hopping out of a cab and waving at a very shocked Liam as I ran through the lobby and into the elevator. Too soon, I was sitting against the wall across from my penthouse door. It occurred to me that I could just let myself in but this wasn't my home anymore, it was Edward's home until he invited me back, and I needed to respect that.

I'm not sure how long I sat there but by the time the door opened, I couldn't move my legs, they had fallen asleep. Edward definitely looked shocked to see me sitting on the floor outside of our . . . or I guess his door, but his face quickly left blank and he locked the door making his way down the hall to the elevator. "I'm not leaving, Edward."

He did not even pause, not even for a moment. "It's good to try new things," he called out with absolutely no inflection in his voice. Yeah, this wouldn't be over anytime soon.

My Dad left the penthouse with his suitcase later that day, he was picking Sue up at the airport and they would be staying with Jasper and Alice so that Sue could help Alice out with the baby. My Dad also reminded me that I had yet to see Alice or speak with her. The truth was, I had no idea what to say. Although I had pretty valid arguments with Edward and Rosalie, I had been selfish and horrible to Alice. If she never wanted to speak to me ever again, I wouldn't blame her.

Late in the afternoon the day doorman brought up lunch and a soda for me, apparently my father had turned into a gossipy old man and let them in on all the drama that was happening on the penthouse floor. Truthfully, I really didn't give a shit, I was grateful for the food and soda as well as for the key he gave me to an apartment 4 floors down that was empty. That meant a place to clean up and go to the restroom so that when Edward came home from work, I would be sitting right where I was when he left for work.

Sitting and waiting when he came home from work.
Sitting and waiting when he left for work.
Sitting and waiting when he came home from work.
Sitting and waiting when he left for work.
Sitting and waiting when he came home from work.

And then, progress. I woke up in the middle of the night having to pee and found two pillows and a blanket. I cried, and continued to sit and wait. I didn't push, I didn't ask anything of him, not even that he acknowledges my presence for the one minute per day grand total that we saw each other.

This continued for four more days and then, my phone rang in the middle of the night as I slept outside Edward's door. It was Rosalie, Alice was in labor and her blood pressure was dangerously high. They were about to do an emergency C-section and Alice was asking, no begging, for me. As I stood up and reached for my purse the apartment door flung open and for a moment Edward and I just stood there staring at one another.

"M-may I ride in with you?" I asked quietly. Edward nodded and we rushed to the elevator and down to the car together. There was not a word uttered between us the entire way to the hospital and that was probably a good thing because for the first time in as long as I could remember, my priorities were set correctly and in this moment Alice was the most important thing.

Three hours and a lot of awkward silence later found the Cullen-Swan family welcoming Charles Jasper Whitlock into the world, but even more amazing than that was that he acted as best little man as the hospital's preacher married Jasper and Alice in her hospital room.

Alice was exhausted but not enough that she didn't let me know that I was nowhere near off the hook and that we would be talking very very soon. I nodded and tried very hard not to shed tears. I would be making this up to her for the rest of our lives.

When I walked out of Alice's room, I found that Edward had left. I managed to make it into the cab before I let the grief overcome me and the tears flow freely. I decided that I would give him one more day before I pressured him to talk to me but if he refused, I would have to honor his wishes and agree to the terms of the divorce.

As I walked off of the elevator however, I was more than surprised to find my makeshift bed gone and the door to the apartment door wide open. I walked cautiously into the penthouse, closing the door as quietly as I could. I rolled my eyes at myself knowing I was being silly but a part of me was afraid that if I made any loud noises, the illusion would shatter and I would be back out in the hallway asleep on the floor waiting . . . waiting . . . waiting . . .

I set my purse on the entryway table as I had a million times before and stood there silently, waiting. After about a minute I called out to him very softly, "Edward?" He didn't answer.

I smoothed down my slept in tee shirt and leggings and made my way down the hall where I could see the light on in our bedroom. When I entered the bedroom, I couldn't see him but the shower was going, making me nervous. What was I supposed to do? "Edward?" I called out slightly louder than before. Again there was no response, so I took a few more cautious steps and as my husband came into view, tears immediately sprung to my eyes. Edward was sitting on the marble bench in the shower, slumped against the wall.

I had noticed before that he had lost weight, but now I could clearly see bones protruding and dark circles under his eyes. He looked awful, he looked like the walking dead, he looked . . . broken.

Rosalie was right, the man I fell in love with wasn't in the room with me. He was gone, replaced by this shell. In that moment my resolve hardened and regardless of our relationship status, I knew that I would not abandon Edward. Even if he never accepted me back in his life romantically, I would be his friend and fight for him until he could do it for himself. I would not let up until Edward came back.

He looked up and our eyes locked but just like every other time I had seen him since that day at the courthouse, he had little reaction. I toed my shoes off and peeled off my clothes, walking gingerly into the shower and sitting close enough so that our sides melded together. I sighed quietly as the familiar buzz of energy that always seemed to surround Edward and I made it's presence known.

The warm water washed over us for several minutes before Edward broke the silence.

"I don't trust you."

"I know," I answered simply.

"I don't believe you're staying."

"I know. But I am."

"I'm not even completely convinced you are here. . . . Maybe I have finally lost my mind and I am hallucinating."

"I'm really here."

"I wish I could tell you to go fuck yourself."

"I know."

"But I can't because as hard as I have tried, and I have fucking tried,. . . I still fucking love you. I fucking know you're going to leave again, you're going to fucking leave me again and I still can't make myself hate you."

I turned to him and cupped his face in my hands. "I know you don't believe me right now, and I understand why. I don't know if my word means anything anymore but I promise you that I will never leave you ever again. I promise you, baby." Edward and I stared into each other's eyes for several minutes before his head slowly came forward until it was resting against mine.

I stroked his hair, whispering to him about how much I loved him and wished to never be apart from him again, until finally his hands were on my hips and he was easing me on to his lap, my legs straddling him as he spread tentative soft kisses over my neck and shoulders. It wasn't long before I felt him nudging at my entrance. With a few rolls of my hips he was slowly entering and stretching me, filling me and melding us together. Edward's fingers dug painfully into my hips and I cried out, bringing a fierce look to his eye as his hold on me tightened further.

Our pace became frantic and before long he was lifting me and slamming me on his cock. It wasn't about love, it wasnt a reunion, it was about anger.

And it went on, and on, and on until the water had long run cold and we were both exhausted. Neither of us orgasmed and somehow I was glad for that. We managed to dry off and fall into bed exhausted. We fell asleep almost immediately.

When I woke, the silence in the apartment was startling as was the empty spot beside me. I lifted up on my elbows, rubbing the sleep from my eyes and saw Edward sitting at the foot of the bed, his forearms resting on his legs and his head hanging. The despair and anguish he felt was radiating from him and I felt almost crushed beneath the weight if his emotions.

"If this is all we are going to be, if this is all you want from me, I will take it. I know that makes me fucking pathetic but I will take any part of you I can get, Bella."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing, this wasn't my Edward. I got up, throwing on one of Edward's dirty tee shirts that was laying on the floor and walked quietly around the bed and knelt before him intertwining our fingers. "Edwar-"

"Fuck it, you know what, I deserve more than that, I deserve it all. I'm a good man, Bella, a good man that made mistakes. I deserve to be with a woman who can accept me with my flaws and love me not despite them but because they are a part of me. I deserve a woman who will stand by my side and fight, fight for me and fight for us. I deserve a woman who will stay and hear me out. Fuck Bella, I deserve a woman that will stay. I would do all of that for you. What about you, Bella, can you do all that? Will you?"

"We have a lot to sort out, Edward. I am still incredibly pissed at you but I see now that my actions started out as understandable but quickly turned to childish and irresponsible. There are a lot of things that need to be said but the first thing I want you to know is that I agree with you, Edward, all those things that you want in a woman, you deserve all of that and so much more. For you, Edward, I will do anything. I will, for you."

He was unsure of me, I could see it in his eyes but he was wavering, and I was going to take advantage of his indecision. "Give me a chance, Edward, please."

I moved forward and lodged myself between his legs, wrapping my arms around his waist, begging softly for another chance and that was when I knew that I had changed, not because I had to but because I wanted to.

My anger and resentment towards him were completely justified but where I was ready to talk things out and reconcile, Edward was still vacillating, unable to put his pain and feelings of mistrust behind him. The old Bella would have stayed away, too stubborn to break first. The new me, however, knew that he had made his grand gesture and I had rejected him. Now it was my turn and I wasn't going to let my pride stand in the way of a lifetime of happiness.

So I held him as best I could in the strange position we were in and whispered softly to him pleas to give me a chance, that I loved him more now than I ever had, that my life with him was more important than absolutely anything. Finally, after what seemed like a million reassurances, his hand began to run lightly up and down my back and I felt a small glimmer of hope.

"Maybe we should get something to eat?" Edward offered quietly. A half hour later we found ourselves at the breakfast bar eating thai food in uncomfortable silence. Edward picked at his food while I hoovered all of mine plus everything he left untouched and washed it down with a quart of milk as Edward watched me with an arched brow.

"So," I started tentatively, I guess we have some stuff to talk about. . ."

And we did. We moved to the living room and talked, and talked, and yelled, and whispered. I cried, Edward pulled at his hair, I apologized, refused to apologize, and finally, after many many months, I heard his side, and I understood.

And for the first time, I could see that he really did understand me. He wasn't saying things to try and get me back, he was honestly understanding where I was coming from and although he disagreed with my reaction, he accepted that they were my emotions and reactions alone.

After seven straight hours of talking, screaming and more than a few all out temper tantrums, we both fell asleep on the sofa, but when the sun began creeping in, I found myself wrapped up in Edward's arms, warm and safe in his bed.

I lay there quietly, listening to his breath and thinking over everything that happened the night before. I couldn't help but be hopeful, we had talked through a lot the day and night before but talk was just the start. Decisions would need to be made, friends and family would need to be included in much of this and burned bridges, many burned bridges would need to be mended.

My eyes became droopy

When I finally woke up, the glare of the clock told me that I had been asleep for 8 hours. The warmth surrounding me told me Edward was still asleep, and deeply. After a few minutes of enjoying our cocoon, I squirmed out of bed and hauled ass to the bathroom, just barely making it in time. As I washed my hands, I couldn't help but wonder what would happen today. Would I check out of the Plaza and come home? Would Edward want that? Did I want that?

I walked quietly to the kitchen and rummaged through the almost bare pantry finding a slightly stale box of Ritz crackers and a jar of strawberry jelly.

I stood at the kitchen counter dipping the crackers into the jelly and wolfing them down as I contemplated what my future would look like by the end of the day until I finally realized that this was something I could not plan or predict because there was a variable I had no control over.

Edward.

I smiled and popped another jelly drenched cracker in my mouth. For the first time in my life, I was just fine with the unknown as long as the unknown included Edward. I tried to slip into bed undetected but as soon as the bed dipped, he reached for me, pulling at my waist until my back was flush against his chest. I listened to him sleep for a few minutes before falling back into a deep sleep, maybe when I woke up, things could be a little easier just once.

End part one

Yes, I know . . . . it has been a very very long time . . . .

First let us start with what is most important, thank you so much to Olena and Coffee.

I literally just dropped this in Olena's inbox without having talked to her in months and without missing a beat, she got it right back to me. Thank you so much Olena!

Coffee, your my bish, you know that.

Ok, so here is the deal, YES it has been a long time since I have posted an update.

Yes there are reasons why.

Partly some writers block.
Partly some very very stressful life issues.
Partly some disappointment with the fandom.

Yup, you read that last one right and I have to say I already know that with just that one line I will lose some readers and I must say those are readers I won't be missing.

There is a lot of girl on girl crime in the fandom and me and my ladies at TFFA experienced some of that first hand.

TFFA is no longer but many of the friendships live on long and strong.

Now . . . Most importantly,

To my dear readers, I want to thank you so much for sticking with me and waiting so patiently (or not so patiently) for this update.
I know what you're thinking, how long are you going to have to wait till the next update?

Right? Did I get it right? That's what you're thinking?

Well my Darling's, part 2 of this monster chapter is just about ready. I gave you extra because it has been so long and I wanted to give you an extra treat.

So all that being said, please please please be kind and supportive to one another. There is no room for jealousy and envy amongst friends.

xoxo,

B~