Hello Everyone.

Another new chapter. I warn you now it is a sad one. It really, really bothered me to write this one.

I would like to apologize to everyone that I didn't get to reply to when you sent me reviews. I have gotten so far behind in things lately, but every review that I get for this chapter will receive a reply. Promise. Just forgive me for the lack of response lately.

Please continue to review and let me know what you think… I will give you this teaser, Edward will see Bella again soon.

The Normal Stuff: The Twilight series and its characters are the property of Stephenie Meyer. Support the stories on my faves and my friend's stories.

I send my love to the Three Amigas and to the ladies over on twilighted (dot) net too. I would like to dedicate this chapter to the memory of my dad. It's tough to relieve these moments because I have never really gotten the chance to work through them myself and this was a way that I could express some of my feelings about everything. Mostly, I miss him and this is my way of putting him in here with me.

Chapter 24 A Life Forever Changed: When I Get Where I Am Going – Brad Paisley and Dolly Parton
Reasoning: Just listen to the song. I remember the first time I heard this song, it was a week after I lost my dad and a few days after I lost my uncle. It touched my heart.

Chapter 24: A Life Forever Changed

December 2006

The holiday season… there was something about this Christmas season that made me feel strange. It was different from the ones of my childhood especially with Jake being in my life. I never realized how lucky I was to have him. It was wonderful to have him, especially with my life changing so much.

My life was becoming one of constant worry, especially with Charlie's health problems increasing. Every doctor's visit gave more bad news and they eventually told him it would be in his best interest to take a leave of absence from the force. He was sad about it, but he knew that if he wanted to get back to the job that he loved, he would have to do what they wanted. However, he would never say it, but he knew everyday that his heart was getting weaker and weaker.

So, when the Christmas holiday came around, my parents made a choice to come to Illinois to see me and the rest of the Swan family that lived here. At first, I was a little worried about them driving from Washington, but then I realized that this was important to Charlie, no matter how difficult it would be for him, he still wanted to come.

The first few days were pretty uneventful but on the forth day, we had to rush Charlie to the emergency room. We noticed that he was becoming really tired and uncomfortable. They admitted him and I quickly took some time off work to be with him. Luckily I had a very understanding boss that knew that family came first and that my co-workers would cover my shifts. My mother, on the other hand, was becoming frantic with worry since the doctors weren't really saying to much to her about his condition, since they weren't really sure themselves. So, to keep her as calm as possible, I asked Kat to keep an eye on her and keep her as happy as possible.

While all of this is going on, Jake got news that he got hired for a new job that would be taking him away from me for a little while. It was an opportunity that I wouldn't let him pass up either. He was hired to work for a publishing company as an editor and that meant that he was going to be making a lot more money than working as a reporter for a local newspaper. He would be moving to St. Louis to be close to the office, but he understood that I needed him too, so he divided his time between the two places. Mostly, he spent most of his time reassuring me that the distance wouldn't be horrible, and that as soon as I graduated that we would be together all the time. It was just hard to be without him with me dealing with so much stuff.

My mind was constantly being occupied by thoughts and feelings about the situation at hand, but even through all the confusion, I continued to work on my stories that I hoped to eventually publish. I would sit at Charlie's bedside with my computer and type frantically trying to get all my ideas down. The majority of the time, Charlie would sleep through my writing and it honestly didn't bother me at all. I knew he needed the rest and his presence was just soothing to my soul and made it easier to work on things. I hadn't realized how much I missed him until I had the chance to spend time with him, even if it was under not so good circumstances.

"Bells…"

Looking up from my computer, I saw Charlie's eyes studying me. I had to look frazzled and a little crazed since my hair was pulled up with a couple of pencils in it, and my glasses almost ready to slip down my nose.

"What Dad?" I asked.

"I need to talk to you about a few things. Especially, since your mother isn't hear to listen. You know how she is getting about stuff lately."

The way that he started out this conversation wasn't making me feel really comfortable. I quickly saved what I was working on and closed my laptop.

I began to examine him carefully as I waited for him to start talking. His appearance showed how sick he actually was. My father had always been somewhat thin, but now he was far from it. Everything from his face down to his fingers were swollen twice their normal size. This was because of all the fluids that his body was holding.

"Bella, I want you to promise me something…"

"Anything, Dad."

"If something happens to me, I want you to promise me that you will take care of your mother for me."

I couldn't help but stare at him for a moment. That wasn't exactly what I expected him to say to me. That statement kind of limited your choice of answers too. How do you answer something like that… no, I won't, Dad or sure Dad, I'll just take your place if you leave us. No matter how I answered that, I was still going to feel weird about it.

"Dad, you are going to be around for a long time, you don't need to make me promise something like that."

"Bella, there is no point of us acting like nothing is wrong. You and I both know that I am not well. Your mother, on the other hand, doesn't want to accept this though. So this is why I need you to do this. I need to know that you are ready to help her when the time comes. She is going to be lost and alone, and the only person I know that will be able to help her is you. You are stronger than she is. She won't be able to take care of things if I am gone. Please, do this for me," he begged.

"Okay, Dad. What do you want me to know?"

For a little over an hour, I listened to him talk about a variety of things. He told me how he wanted his funeral done right down to the music to play and where I could find the important documents at the house back in Forks. He knew that Renee wouldn't know where they were and it would be easier for me to find them. Mostly, he talked about things that he wanted to pass down to me. Charlie was a very interesting person and had a fascinating way of looking at things Charlie always had an interesting way of looking at things and he wanted me to know these things so that I could pass them on to my children.

"Bella, will you do me a favor too?" He asked.

"Anything," I replied.

"Make peace with Edward. He really does miss you."

If I was to say that I had been expecting that, I would have been lying. The topic of Edward wasn't something me and Charlie ever discussed too seriously. Charlie always thought our friendship was strange since he was a boy and I was a girl, but he came to except it in time, but now I wasn't really sure what to expect.

"Dad?"

"Bella, he may be stupid and clueless, but he really does care about you. I have never seen a boy miss someone so much. He's not even the same kid anymore. Over look all the things he has done and make peace with him. He may have a crazy fiancé but he will take care of that part on his own."

I couldn't help but roll my eyes about his comment about Edward's crazy fiancé. I knew about the engagement on the night that he proposed since Alice called me in an absolute crying frenzy because she and Jasper witnessed his proposal in this fancy dance clue in Seattle. Maybe she thought I would go into a crying fit about it too. Not saying that I wasn't a little sad, but I knew there was no point in getting all worked up over something that I couldn't change. Edward had made his choice and I had made mine. I was with Jacob and he was with Tanya. End of story.

"Sweetie, know this. Men don't get it right all the time. We make mistakes about things that we should know and understand. So for me, consider letting go of all those hurt feelings with him. You never know how doing this might change the course of your destiny. Alright?"

I nodded at him and I stood to give him a hug.

"I love you, Daddy," I whispered.

"And I love you, my sweet Bella."

January 2007

It was an ordinary day. Well, as ordinary as it could be for someone like me. The New Year rang in and I got to spend it with my father since he got out of the hospital a few days before Christmas. So he sat on the couch in the apartment with me and we watched the big ball drop in Times Square. As corny as it was, this was one of those memories that I would always treasure and remember always.

Charlie had an appointment made with a doctor here in Illinois. Basically it for them to clear him for travel back to Forks. As much as I hated it, I had to go back to work. I had missed so much already when I was staying with him in the hospital.

So I was waiting on a table when I saw my parents come in the front doors, my father's face very sullen. It was obvious that the news hadn't been good news by the expressions on their faces. I met them at the door and led them over to my section and they talked softly to me while others passed us by.

"So, what did the doctor say?" I asked.

Looking to my mother, I could see her eyes were sad and I waited for her to speak, but it was the sad voice of my father that I heard.

"The doctor told me if things don't change soon, I won't be here in a month."

When the words finally registered their meaning, I felt my heart drop. It was almost as if my heart shattered the instant that he said those words. He was my father… the man that took me fishing, told me what I should listen for when working on a car, the man that showed me what kind of person I needed to be. This couldn't be happening to him. Not my father. He was too good of a man for this.

My mother began to sob and I watched as Charlie reached his hand across the table to comfort his wife. I could have fallen apart and cried too, but I was determined not to fall apart. My parents didn't need that kind of stress, they had enough going on than taking care of their adult daughter in a time like this. I had to be strong for both of them. I left them there alone for a moment so I could go to the kitchen to retrieve what they ordered. Luckily I was allowed to go on my break after I took out their food, so I sat down with Charlie for a moment.

Sitting there, I listened to my mother talk about the possible treatments that could be done for Charlie. As she spoke, he leaned over to lay his head on my shoulder. I thought it was a little strange, but nothing that I should be too worried about. He was tired and it was understandable. He had a lot of things going on with him now.

I stood when they were going to leave to go back to my apartment. I reached for Charlie's hand and helped him toward the door. Looking over at him I realized I was never going to get used to seeing him as this fragile man, not the strong and capable man that was the image of my father from my childhood.

"I'll see you at home, Dad."

"Yeah, see you soon," he replied.

They went through the doorway and finally went out of my sight, so I went back to work. I had been cut so I was going to be going home soon, which meant that I had to get my tables cleaned off as well as cleaning up my section.

My world shattered when I heard a blood curdling scream and it was a scream that I recognized instantly.

"BELLA!!"

I turned to see my mother, her eyes frantic. I ran toward her and she grabbed me screaming.

"Your dad… he got in the car and he just slumped over… I can't get him to talk to me," she wailed.

I looked up to see a woman jumping up from a table.

"I'm a nurse, I will go with her, call for help."

Watching the woman run out the door with my mother, I ran back into the kitchen to get to the office. I grabbed the phone and quickly was calling for help. I gave them the information and they informed me that they were on their way. As soon as I hung up I quickly called Kat and she told me that she would call Jake and they would meet us at the hospital. I threw the phone down on the desk and it was then that I felt myself tumble to the floor and that my pent up tears began to tumble down. I didn't know it, but something was telling me that something was terribly wrong.

"Get up Bella. Your mom needs you," exclaimed Sheila.

The woman helped me to my feet and I ran from the kitchen out the front doors and toward the car. When I got there, I could see that everything was wrong. His complexion was all wrong and the nurse wasn't getting him to come around. My mother was just muttering and getting in the way, so I pulled her close to me and she leaned into my shoulder. I pulled her as close as possible to keep her from turning back around to see what was happening.

The wails of the ambulance were coming closer and the nurse continued to try to bring Charlie around. The ambulance pulled into the lot and the paramedics tumbled out with their equipment and they began to work on him. They quickly loaded him on a gurney and loaded him into the back of the ambulance. I watched, and I quickly noticed that they weren't rushing to leave. Instantly, I knew this wasn't good.

"Why are they sitting there?" my mother wailed.

"They have to get him stabilized, Mom. They will leave soon."

I knew I was just giving her false comfort, but I had to do something. Even me saying that to her, gave me some warped and twisted form of comfort, but I knew it wasn't as good as I was trying to make it out to be.

"I'm going to follow them," she exclaimed, while trying to pull her car keys from her purse.

"No, I'm taking you."

I grabbed her hand and I lead her around back to where my truck was parked and I ran inside to tell the manager I was leaving and to grab my keys. I was out the door and had my mother loaded before the ambulance pulled away from the restaurant.

Never letting the ambulance out of my sight, I floored my truck to keep up. We were inside the hospital within a minute of the arrival of the ambulance and I led my mother in so we could start the paperwork that would be needed for the hospital. Through this whole time, I kept having this feeling of dread.

As we walked into the waiting room, we were met by Kat and Jacob. Kat quickly wrapped her arms around my mother and Jake around me. For a moment, I let myself feel safe in Jake's arms, but it was then that I noticed the small man dressed in a white coat step from behind the door from the emergency room all feelings of safety were gone.

"Mrs. Swan… I'm Dr. Morrison. I'm sorry to tell you this, we tried everything but we were unable to revive your husband."

My heart shattered in that moment and I wanted nothing more than to die myself. I wanted to revert to being a child and sob hysterically. Charlie was gone. My dad… my daddy.

Before I could start to cry myself, I heard my mother hit the floor and she began to wail uncontrollably.

"My life is over," she wailed.

I realized that I couldn't fall apart as soon as I heard those words from her. I made a promise to Charlie that I would take care of her in the event that something like this happened so falling apart wasn't an option. I had to protect Renee now… it was my job. I pushed Jake away from me and dropped to my knees and wrapped my arms around my sobbing mother, her tears drenching my shirt. She clung to me like there was nothing else in the world that she could grasp. I was all she had now.

Holding her close, I let my eyes rise to meet those of Jacob and Kat. Both had tears filling their eyes. I never let her go though. She kept holding on to me for dear life because she needed me in this moment, and I needed her as well. In one day, my life changed so much and it was never going to be the same again.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Kat finally leaned down and pulled my mother up off the floor after her breakdown. I stood and when Jake tried to reach for me to comfort me, I pushed him away. Not because I didn't want him there, but because I needed that space. I knew one thing and that was that I needed something, but I wasn't exactly sure of what it is that I need though. It was very frustrating to know that I craved something but not knowing what it was… well it was making me crazy.

Jake wanted to take me home, but I told him I needed some time alone. After arguing a little, he finally agreed to let me have some time alone, so he helped Kat get my mother into the car so they could take her back to the apartment. I sat there in the waiting room for a while and just stared around the room. Mostly I was trying to figure out something to do. I wanted to cry, but I couldn't seem to let the tears flow though. The best way to describe the moment was that I was in limbo and I couldn't get out.

One of the nurses finally came out and asked me if I wanted my father's belongings and I told them I did, so she brought out everything that was on his person… his keys, his wallet, even his watch. My hands trembled when they touched my skin. Unsure of what to do, I pushed his keys and wallet in my pockets of my jeans, and placed his watch on my wrist along with my own watch.

After about an hour, the funeral home came for my dad and I just continued to sit there waiting to wake up from this nightmare. I kept telling myself that this couldn't be real. My dad couldn't really be gone.

Mostly, I felt so alone. Daughters have this connection with their dads. It was almost like a part of myself was gone now and I couldn't figure out what I was supposed to do. He was my compass in this thing we call life. It was scary to know that I had to face the world now without him.

Finally, after putting it off for as long as possible, I pulled my phone out and pushed my speed dial and called out. I started with people that I thought would be easier to tell.

"Hello, Cullen residence, Carlisle speaking."

"Hi, Carlisle. It's Bella."

"Oh, Bella. I am happy to hear from you, it's been a while."

"Carlisle, I wish I was calling under better circumstances, but I wanted to let you know that… Charlie died this afternoon."

The line went silent for a moment.

"Bella, are you okay? How is Renee?"

"She's a mess. I'm a mess. I don't know what I am doing right now either."

"Have you called Alice yet?"

"No, I was hoping you could tell her. She would probably take it better from you. I know she would start to sob hysterically as soon as I told her, I don't think I could handle it right now," I said, rubbing my throbbing eyes.

"What about Edward, Bella?"

He wasn't someone that I had thought about in a long time. Edward… his name still echoed through my mind when I heard his name. My heart started to ache too. Why? I was over him, wasn't I?

"I don't know, Carlisle. Use your judgment on that one. I don't think I am able to make that kind of decision right now."

"I don't know about Esme and myself, but I would say that Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett will be flying out to be there with you. You aren't bringing him back here are you?"

"No. Our family is here and he wanted to be here with our family. I doubt that I will even get Renee to go back there to live. I probably will end up selling the house there."

The thought of Renee going back to Washington alone scared me. Her being there alone in that house without Charlie worried me. I just hoped that she would decide to stay here in Illinois and I hoped that she would stay here with the family. The only reason we moved to Forks in the first place was so that Charlie could be police chief, but now… we really didn't have a reason to go back.

"Bells don't worry about stuff too soon. Get through this now. If you need our help, we will help you."

"Thank you, Carlisle. I need to get home. I will be in touch."

"We love you Bella."

"Love you too. Bye."

Hanging up the phone, I stood from the chair I had been sitting in for hours and headed toward the parking lot. I climbed inside my truck and sat there for a moment. Not long after getting inside, the tears finally started to fall. I leaned my head down on the steering wheel and cried. I felt my body trembling and I wanted… no needed someone to be here with me to let me cry. Someone that wouldn't ask me tons of questions or try to make me feel better… Jake… no, he wouldn't do that. There was only one person that would do that for me, and I couldn't ask for him… I needed Edward.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

When I got back to the apartment, the entire Swan family was there. I slipped in and went down the hallway to my room without anyone really noticing my presence. Pulling the door shut as I came into the room, I crossed the room, not even caring to turn on the lights. I pushed myself toward the bed, and crawled up to the head of the bed, pulling my pillow close to me. Every time I close my eyes, all I see is Charlie, and in turn makes me want to cry even more.

"Bella?"

I turned to see Kat standing in the doorway, but she quickly pulled the door to and came over and crawled onto the bed with me.

"Are you okay, sweetie?"

"No."

"Bella…"

"Kat, please leave me alone."

"Bella, please…"

I rolled over to meet her eyes, and I tried to look at her with as much coldness as I could bring forward. I wanted to give her a reason to leave me alone with my thoughts.

"You are not the person that can help me, leave me the hell alone," I said with my coldest voice.

She stared at me for a minute, trying to process what I was saying.

"I'll go get Jake then. He'll talk with you," she said while starting to stand up from the bed.

"No, I don't want him. Can't you get the point… just leave me the hell alone."

I rolled over again so my back was facing her, but I could still tell she was standing behind me trying to figure out what was going on inside my head. I never was cold with Kat because we were so much alike, but at this point in time we were so very different from each other.

"Alice, Jasper, Rose, and Emmett will be here in the morning. Maybe they could help you."

They were my friends, but not the one I needed or wanted. My mind kept screaming at me, 'you don't need him,' but my heart cried for him. More than anything I knew better than to even feel this way or to even consider wanting him here with me. I hadn't spoke a word to him for almost three years and now, I wanted nothing more than to pick up the phone and call him. Beg him to come here, to help me get past this nightmare. I didn't care if Tanya was in his life. I just needed Edward.

"Fine. Go away."

"Bella, what in the world is going on with you? You don't want my help or Jake's… who do you want?"

I couldn't answer. I couldn't tell her that my heart was yelling out for him. Especially with me having Jake in my life. What kind of person would that make me? I want the man that broke my heart all those years ago instead of the guy that worships the ground that I walk on…

"You don't want to know," I mumbled.

"It's him. You want Edward, don't you?"

I turned over, and it was then that she saw the tears.

"Oh, Bella."

She walked over to me and pulled me into a hug. I cried in her arms for a while. I cried for the loss that I was suffering through, for Jake even though he didn't know it, and for Edward, the only person that could have made me feel better after everything that had happened.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for Thou arte with me…"

I stood beside my mother and Jacob, while the pastor read the twenty-third Psalm and I wanted nothing more than to scream. I wanted nothing more than to fall apart and sob for my father, but it wasn't something that I could do. I had to stay calm and strong for Renee. She was sobbing into her tissue, Alice at her other side.

The graveside service was over and I let go of my mother's hand and Jake followed her back toward the car while I walked out away from everyone a bit. He just had a way of knowing now when I needed some time to myself.

This cemetery was different from most that I had ever seen before. It sat on top of this hill and as you walk out you can see fields bare from last year's crops as far as you can see. Even in the distance, you can see the water tower for the town. The breeze was cold and blew through my coat, giving me the chills. Luckily it wasn't snowing or icy.

I just stared out into the distance taking in the sight, mostly thinking that this had to be what heaven looked like, for the view was incredible.

This was the place that the Swan family had been buried for generations and one day I might even be here with my family.

"Bella…"

Turning I saw Alice standing behind me in a black dress, her eyes splotchy from her tears.

"Yeah," I mumbled.

"Edward doesn't know about Charlie yet. He was gone doing some training for his job. Do you want me to tell him?"

"Not, yet. Maybe after I have come to terms with it."

"Bella, you know you are going to have to talk to him eventually. You can't keep hiding from him forever. He knows about you and Jake, and you know about his engagement to Tanya. You two just need to talk now. For you guys being such good friends, I think it's time to let it all go and we can go forward from here."

I knew she was right, but I couldn't, at least not yet. I wasn't ready for it. Even with all the time I have had with Jacob, I wasn't sure if I could completely shut down my feelings had I harbored for Edward. I knew I needed him to help me with this point of my life, but I was afraid that it would bring back all of those feelings that I wanted to remain dead and buried.

I am extremely happy with Jacob. I never thought I would be able to say that about anyone beside Edward Cullen, but now, I am happy and I looked forward to my future with him. The idea of Edward coming back into my life scared me, more than anyone could realize.

"I don't think so Alice. Our time as friends is done and over with. It was good while it lasted, but I think it will be better if we live separate lives. Our paths may cross again someday, but not now."

"I wish you two could get this figured out because I want things to be like they were. All of us were like a puzzle, we all fit together perfectly, and now… two pieces are missing and nothing is the same now," said Alice.

She turned and headed back toward the car while I continued to look out and it was then a burst of cool air swirled around me. I shivered and I looked over my shoulder. In that moment, I could have sworn that Edward was standing behind me.

I turned and finally headed back toward everyone who was now getting into their cars to leave. I thought about my life as I walked toward my family and friends. Mostly about how I had become a different person since leaving Forks, how I had pushed my past behind me and I was working toward the future, but something kept tugging at my heart. Something that I doubted would ever let go completely.

My father was gone, but his lessons had brought me to this point. He gave me enough courage to get on that plane and come here. I was no longer that girl that left Forks in tears over a guy that didn't love her in return, but a strong and independent woman. One that had a wonderful family, a group of great friends, and a magnificent boyfriend that was too perfect for me. This life I had now, didn't have Edward Cullen in it and I was surviving just fine without him, even though I still missed him at times.

Maybe I had moved past the bad times… maybe the good times were ahead. I just knew that though my life had forever changed in the past few days, I knew that I would come out of this a stronger person and maybe a happier one… someday. So why did I feel like I wanted nothing more than to go back to the past? To the days of my childhood, with all my friends and have those carefree moments that brought me so much joy and happiness. Mostly, I wanted to go back to those moments with the green-eyed boy that brought me so much happiness and forget the bad things that had come to me. Mostly I wanted the simpler times when there was no love lost and I could just take the boy's hand and he would walk with me… no matter where, it was just perfect because we were together. Oh, how I wished for that.

I wonder if he thinks like I do. If he misses the times together or has time done too much to us. Has the world changed us too much? No matter what I may say to others, I hope that maybe someday we can find peace with each other and maybe our friendship mend. Charlie wanted our friendship mended, and maybe he was right. Maybe in time, I will have the courage to face him and fix the thing that I had broken so many years ago.