AN: Hey, everyone. I am so, so, so, so, so sorry about the extreme lack of updates lately. I've had a severe case of writer's block along with an extremely busy schedule. End result? No updates. However, I finally sat down and finished up this chapter tonight. My next goal is to get another chapter of Cold Hard Facts up. I'll try to do that asap, but I'm not promising anything. Sorry! Anyway, please read and review! )

She sat staring straight ahead, watching them. And it seemed to her as if she was watching more than just them, but watching herself. In a way they were her, she guessed, probably in more ways than she could ever even imagine.

The day was warm, but a light breeze kept the ceremony comfortable. Rory hardly noticed. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat and ran her fingertips over the soft fabric of her emerald dress. She did anything, in fact, to forget about where she was. She would've run around that entire place naked if it meant she could just forget, for a second, what was happening to her, to them.

She could see them, in the very back row of students. They were supposed to be in alphabetical order, but leave it to her friends to totally disregard the rules. They sat in a row: Stephanie, Finn, Colin, Logan. And as she watched them, tears pressing against her blue eyes, she thought of each one.

Stephanie had become her confident, the one girl she could turn to when Lorelai wasn't around. She was funny and outgoing, yet thoughtful and sweet. There was nothing she wouldn't do for her best friends, and the one thing she wanted more than anything was for them all to be happy. The closer her and Rory became, the more respect Rory had for the gorgeous blond. She knew how to let loose, how to have fun, and she knew how to make Rory relax every once and awhile too. She had become, in a sense, Rory's other half; her more relaxed half, and one of her very best friends.

Finn. Rory smiled sadly as she watched him, half chuckling to herself as the many quotes of Finn vied for top place in her mind. He could always make her smile, no matter what. There wasn't a person in the world who was more capable then bringing her out of her element than Finn, and usually that resulted in her practically collapsing in hysterical laughter. And yet, for as carefree and fun as the Australian was, she knew he always had her back. He was there for her, no questions asked, no matter what. And that, she decided, was what mattered most.

Colin was first. Rory always thought of him of being that, plain and simple: first. He was the first person outside of her mother that she ever really trusted, the first person to reveal to her that there was more to life than book and studying, and the first person to show her what real friendship was all about. Sarcastic and cocky, many people never gave him much of a chance. With Rory, he'd been persistent, and she couldn't help but think one of the best decisions she'd ever made was looking beyond the Colin everyone else saw and into the one she now knew. She trusted him, completely, and she knew he would be there for her, always.

And then there was Logan. As her eyes shifted to him, her heart contracted painfully. What Logan meant to her was unexplainable. All summed up, he was everything. She used to hate girls that would talk like that, saying that their boyfriends were everything to them, but in Logan's case it was true. He was her boyfriend, her best friend, and the one person she always wanted around. He got her. When nobody else understood, he always got her. He caught on to her ramblings and references, he shot back her witty comments with a few of his own, and he always, always knew when she needed coffee and when she just needed him. He'd given her a second chance, and in turn, she learned how to ignore his playboy ways of the past and let herself fall into him, completely. Yes, to Rory, Logan Huntzberger was everything.

And now he was leaving, and everything would be different.

She fought back the tears, but it was no use. They spilled over over her eyes and cascaded down her cheeks, causing Lorelai to give her hand a reassuring squeeze. But that wasn't enough. She was beyond reassurance, beyond comfort. She felt like she was beyond ever feeling like herself again.

Logan was leaving, and everything would be different.

He was going to college. Granted, he and all of her friends would only be less than an hour away, but it was still college. He would be meeting new people and experiencing new things. And Rory knew that he would want so much more than she had to offer. She was a high school girl from Stars Hollow, who would be worried about high school things while he was off at Yale. What could he possibly want with her, a Chilton senior, when he could have any girl at Yale he desired?

And that wasn't all it, not completely. She wanted him to be free. She wanted him to stay at college, to have that experience, and to not be stuck worrying about her. A few of her old fears were creeping back and surrounding her in an unbearable web. She didn't want to get hurt, not by him, not now. They had gone through so much together, become more than she couldn't ever imagined. She didn't want to be the one to cage him, and she didn't want to give him the opportunity to hurt her.

She would hopefully be going to Harvard after she graduated anyway, so how could they possibly make it? Would the distance be too far? Would the one year age difference between them turn out to be too much? Would it work? Could it work? Was it meant to work? How could she feel for him everything she felt only to have it all far apart?

She loved him.

She'd been denying it for awhile, too afraid to actually admit it was true. But she knew it was. She loved him. She felt it in every fiber of her being. She felt it in his kisses, in the way he held her, in the way she felt when his soft brown eyes were gazing at her. And yet, she couldn't bring herself to tell him. She was too afraid to say those words. Especially now, now that she wasn't sure where there future was going to lead them, now that she wasn't sure if she wanted to hold him back.

It was graduation day at Chilton, and everything was changing. And oh, how she wished it wasn't.

"Psst, kid, I think Blondie's looking at you."

Rory snapped out of her daze and focused on Logan. He was smirking at her, his brown eyes twinkling, and he offered her a quick wink. She couldn't help but smile back, but he saw right through it straight to her tears. His smile faded, his eyes darkened, and he clenched his jaw in a mixture of sympathy and sadness. Instant regret for ruining his graduation day swept over her, and she forced her smile to grow larger. She quickly dug a pen out of her purse and scribbled a message on her program.

Hey you. Pay attention to the Headmaster, he's teaching you important things.

P.S. Your cap is crooked.

His eyes swept over it and once again his mouth turned up into that beautiful grin. Adjusting his hat, he laughed silently and sent her one last smile before turning around to face front.

"How are you holding up?" Lorelai whispered over the Headmaster's speech.

"About as well as an igloo in the Bahamas."

"Don't melt on me, babe, that would be incredibly messy to clean up."

Rory laughed half heartrendingly as Lorelai slid her arm around her shoulders, giving them a comforting squeeze.

"I'm going to miss him, miss them, so much."

"I know."

"Is is going to work? Me and Logan?"

Lorelai's blue eyes turned studied her, "I don't know. I hope so."

"Yeah," Rory paused, "Me too."

She shifted her blurry vision back towards the stage where the Headmaster had just finished introducing the valedictorian. Rory recognized the girl, Shannon, as a well respected member of the school as well as an excellent student who Rory had always kind of admired. Slowly, she was able to focus in on Shannon's words.

"The friends we have in high school are a part of us, forever. They have taught us more than the teachers in those classrooms ever could, and they have become a part of us that we can never lose. In a way, they are us. They know us better than anyone, and they have been there to watch us grow. But for as much as we've grown, we haven't grown apart. Friends in high school will always be here, in these halls. All we have to do is look back, or pick up a phone, to remember the eternal happiness and youth that surrounded us here."

Rory lost it. The tears came in a flood and Lorelai reached for her, pulling her tightly against her side. Through her tears, she could see her four friends, staring at her, tears spilling down Stephanie's cheeks and threatening the strong images of her three male friends. Logan looked physically pained, as if he wanted to be near her so bad it hurt. She tried to compose herself, for him more than anyone, but it was no use. The tears were unstoppable now.

The change was unstoppable now.

--------

"You need to stop crying," Stephanie ordered as she walked over at the ceremony's conclusion, "You're making me cry."

Rory wiped at her slowing tears and offered her friend a smile, "I'm sorry. Congratulations."

"Thank you."

The blond girl wrapped Rory up in a tight hug, and Rory hugged her back just as fiercely.

"Love, are you done crying yet?"

Rory stepped back at the sound of Finn's voice and hurled herself into his arms. He laughed, holding her close as he ran a hand over her hair.

"You almost made me cry, and Australian men do not cry."

She chuckled, "Congratulations, Finn."

"What about me?"

Rory glanced over Finn's shoulder at Colin and smiled, "Congratulations to you, too."

He pulled her into a hug and she relaxed in his embrace as she forced back the tears that were once again threatening.

"It's going to be okay, Rory," he whispered in her ear, "We're all going to be okay."

"I hope so."

"We will."

They pulled apart and she smiled at her three friends, all the while wondering where the final one had gotten off too.

"He's talking to Honor. He'll be here in a second," Colin explained, as if reading her mind.

As if on cue, she felt a set of familiar arms wrap around her waist. Taking a deep breath, she turned in his embrace and instantly lost herself in his dancing eyes.

"Hey, Ace," he murmured, catching her mouth in a soft kiss.

"Hey, graduate," she greeted when they parted, "You should wear a cap and gown more often. The whole outfit works for you."

"I'll consider it," he smiled gently and took her hand, "Hey, come here."

He pulled a few steps away and brushed her hair behind her ears, and then he studied her. He studied her in a way only Logan was capable of, and she instantly felt self conscious of the redness of her eyes and tear stains on her cheeks. He reached out and brushed his thumb along her jawline.

"Are you okay?" he asked, his voice soft.

"I don't know. Are you?"

He smiled sadly, "Not even close."

"Me either," she admitted, "But you should be happy. You're graduating, you're starting a new chapter in your life."

"We'll still see each other, you know."

"Logan."

"I'm not going to be that far away."

"Logan, not now," she stopped him, her voice choked, "Not now. Celebrate."

He nodded slowly and pulled her into his arms. With a sigh, she rested her head against his chest, breathing in the scent of his cologne, and allowed herself for a second to imagine she could stay like that forever.

"The cap and gown really do look great on you," she joked.

He laughed and held her at arms length, "You look beautiful."

"Your compliment just destroyed mine."

"Maybe that will teach you that I always win."

"Never."

He chuckled as he slid his arm around her shoulders, guiding her back towards their group of friends.

"Picture!" Lorelai's voice called out almost as soon as they returned.

Rory rolled her eyes, but obliged her mother by standing in a line with her best friends. She felt Logan and Colin's arms slide around her shoulders, and she slid hers around their waists. For a moment, she focused on how lucky she was to have found people in her life who loved her as much as they did and who she loved back just as dearly. And for that moment, she was happy. She forgot about graduation, and them leaving, and she truly smiled as she thought of each one of them.

Then the camera flashed, and the moment ended.

And she realized once more how very alone she was going to be. Everyone she counted on, everyone she talked to, everyone she needed outside of her mother was being forced out of her life. Maybe she was overreacting, but deep down she knew that she wasn't. No matter how close the Yale campus was to her, things would never be the same again. They would be together, they would be experiencing new and exciting things together, and she would be left in the world of Chilton to fend for herself.

She'd always considered herself to be independent, but she wasn't sure how she was going to get by without them.

"Hey, guys."

Rory whipped her around around to see the gleaming eyes of Tristan.

He grinned at her, "Stop glaring at me, Mary, I'm not staying long."

"You can do plenty of damage in a short amount of time."

"Weapons down, Mare, I just wanted to say congratulations to the graduates," he nodded towards the rest of the group and grinned, "Congratulations, graduates."

The group offered a thanks, and Colin and Finn struck up a casual conversation with the blond.

"Hey, I'm going to get going," Lorelai told her daughter, resting a hand on her elbow, "You guys are going out to eat, right?"

Rory nodded, "And then to Steph's. I'll be home late."

"Okay. Have fun, kid," Lorelai's blue eyes deepened, "Everything will be okay."

Rory nodded slowly, and reached for Logan's hand. A quick reassurance rushed through her as she felt his fingers lace with hers.

It was short lived.

"So, what's Mary here going to do without all of you next year?" Tristan smirked, "You might have to give hanging with me a try."

Rory ignored the sharp pain his words caused, "I'd rather hang out with Paris."

"You just might have to."

She flinched, she must have, because her boyfriend's arm was almost instantly around her waist, pulling her close.

"Hey," Logan hissed, "She's not going to have to hang out with anybody. We're going to college, we're not dying."

Tristan winked, "Just keep telling yourself that."

Logan tensed beside her, and before she could react he was stalking in the direction of the younger man. Colin and Finn reached out and grabbed him, holding him back before he could send his fist into Tristan's jaw.

"Get out of here," Colin ordered, "Now."

Tristan shrugged and waltzed away, leaving Rory and her friends even more tense than they were before. Colin and Finn slowly released Logan's arms and he tossed them off, walking back over to Rory and once again drawing her into his side.

"It's not going to be like that," he assured her, "We won't let it."

She nodded slowly, wanting with all her heart to believe him. But what her heart wanted to believe and what her head and her heart actually believed were two very different things. Things were going to change, they had to. Graduates went away to college and left behind high school and everything and everyone about it. It happened. It's just the way it was.

She would lose him.

She would lose all of them.

But today, they should be happy. And she would pretend.

"Come on, we have food to go eat," she told them, forcing a bright edge to her voice, "I'm starving."

Finn opened his mouth to agree, when a loud voice washed over the crowd.

"Colin and company, we're getting a picture! Come over here."

Stephanie laughed, "Be right back, then we'll go eat."

Rory watched their backs as they disappeared into the crowd. And she was left there: alone. In a sea full of people, she felt nothing but incredibly lonely. As the chords of the senior song echoed over the remains of the ceremony, she could finally imagine the pain she would feel walking alone without them the next year.

In our times of trouble
We only had ourselves
Nobody else
No one there to save us
We had to save ourselves

She knew they still had a whole summer to look forward to, but how could she enjoy it when she knew everything would be changing in a few short months? Could she pretend that everything was the same when nothing was the same at all?


And when the storms came through
They found me and you
Back to back together
And when the sun would shine
It was yours and mine
Yours and mine forever

And was it possible for her and Logan to get through this? She didn't want to hold him back, she didn't want him to hurt her. She wanted him to have the same opportunities as an average guy heading off to the college, and that meant not being tied down to a high school girlfriend.

Could she give that to him? Could she?

And oh how the years go by
And oh how the love brings tears to my eyes
All through the changes the soul never dies
We fight, we laugh, we cry
As the years go by