23: Daddy Issues

X X X X

"Steven, don't tell them about the free wax," Greg said, holding out his hose as he walked toward the giant bus that had just pulled up.

From inside the bus came an odd-looking man. He was balding, wore yellow sunglasses, a leather jacket over a green shirt, jeans with a wallet on a gold chain, and gold shoes with wings.

"Marty?" Greg said, recognizing the man.

"You mean your rotten old manager?" Steven asked, stepping in front of Greg. "I'll protect you, Dad!"

"Eh, don't worry," Greg said, "I got a hose."

"So, this is where you work now, Star Child?" Marty asked, "A run-down old car wash? Guess the music biz wasn't as good to you as it's been to me."

"Uh, hey, Marty. Long time, no see," Greg said, putting his hand on Steven's shoulder. "This is my son, Steven."

"Woah! Guess I'll call you Star Child Jr." Marty said, the sun catching his glasses and casting a blinding reflection.

"Anyway, uh, things are totally fine here in old Beach City, but, uh, if you need me to wash that huge bus of yours, it'd probably help me out," Greg said with a chuckle and a wink.

Heh, wait till he sees this! Marty thought, pulling an envelope from his jacket.

"Eh, sorry, Mr. U," Sour Cream said, coming over to us. "I totally clogged up your toi-" He looked up, noticing Marty. "Woah! Dad?"

"Sour Cream?" Marty said, caught off-guard.

"W-what are you doing here?" Sour Cream asked, surprised to see his father.

"Uh... S.C. Oof! Just look at you," Marty said, putting the envelope back into his jacket. As he did, I noticed a large "G" on his shirt. "When did you get so tall?"

"Uh, like nine years ago," Sour Cream replied.

"Woah!" Marty said, giving a nervous chuckle and clearing his throat. "Sorry I've been gone so long, but you know how the music biz can be, r-i-i-ight?"

"No," Sour Cream answered, "Can you tell me about it?"

I've seen something like that "G" before... And a manager as "rotten" as him doesn't usually make it big enough to get their own bus... I thought, suspicious. I briefly considered delving into his thoughts to see what was really going on, but I decided against it in the name of privacy. Instead, I grabbed my phone and loaded up Google to see what I could find.

Damn guy's actually a manager...

x x x

Half an hour later, I was walking along the beach when I saw Steven, Sour Cream, and Marty setting up for something.

Gotta find out what they're doing! I thought, starting toward them, then stopping as a realization hit me. They'll be suspicious if I just... show up without any warning, or reason... Time to see if my powers work on full humans!

Coming to a decision, I focused myself, starting to project an aura of unimportance. If my powers worked on full humans, nobody there would think of me as important enough to notice.

I started toward them, checking to see if the legion of roadies took note of my presence. Satisfied with their ignorance, I advanced to the trio, arriving just as Steven left with a huge box.

"Hey, let me rap with you about the setup I have envisioned, okay?" Marty said, putting his arm around Sour Cream's shoulders.

"Okay!" Sour Cream said, excited.

"So, the stage is gonna be huge, and the speakers, even huger..." Marty explained, and I rolled my eyes, turning and walking away to watch the roadies as they worked.

Why are those things covered with sheets? I thought, looking at the two giant, covered cylinders that were set up on either side of the stage.

This is too suspicious...

x x x

That evening, I stood on the beach, waiting for the performance to start. I could sense the roadies, minus Steven, waiting behind the covered cylinders for their cue as Steven did a mic check to the light cheering of the crowd.

"Don't mind me, folks!" Steven said. "Just a humble roadie doing a mic check." He fiddled with the mic a bit before saying, "this mic looks great!" and walking off stage to Sour Cream.

"Hey, Sour Cream, we're ready to go whenever you are," Steven said.

"Okay, I guess I'll go out and get started," Sour Cream said, starting for the stage.

"That's not how we do things in the music biz," Marty said, coming from behind Sour Cream. "Let a proper hype man set the stage for you."

"Woah. I've never been properly hyped before," Sour Cream said, impressed and excited. "Thanks, Dad!"

Marty came onto the stage, and the crowd cheered around me as he walked up to the mic.

"It's some guy!" someone said from behind me, and I stifled laughter as I focused on Marty.

"How's it go- Is this mic even on?" Marty said, turning on the mic. "How you feeling, Beach Ci-taay!"

As he spoke, I felt a slick sort of smugness coming off him, which made me even more suspicious.

"You know, I've always been someone with good tastes, so you got to believe me. This show is special to me. It's personal," Marty said, and I sensed the roadies tensing up, their cue almost delivered. "Because I want to introduce you to a fresh, raw experience, to a whole new flavor, to a brand new... Soda!"

What?! Sour Cream thought, his shock clearly evident.

"Guacola!"

So that's where I've seen that "G" before! I thought, watching as the electric billboard on the stage read "Guacola" and everything lit up neon green The roadies uncovered the cylinders, which were speakers in the shape of cans of Guacola.

"That's right. Guacola! The world's first guacamole soda. Each can comes with the power of three whole avocados!"

And it has been banned in all but three states, Delmarva not being one of the three! I added mentally, watching as Marty threw cans of Guacola to the crowd. Everyone tried the Guacola, but the only one who actually liked it was Onion. Which was odd, since Onion didn't eat anything.

In the ensuing chaos, I didn't notice that Marty left until he was gone.

X

(AN: I decided that, due to how awful Guacola seemed to be in the show, it would be widely banned. So Marty's technically breaking the law by distributing Guacola in Delmarva! ...Perhaps Jersey is one of the places where it isn't banned, and that's how Emma knows about it...

Anyway, I'm done posting chapters for today, or at least for right now, because I have to go to Pep Band by five, and it's 4:45. Which means that I have to walk out to my car, get out my tuba, and drag the thing back to the building. Maybe I'll try to get a better parking spot while I'm at it...)