Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Title: Adventures in Babysitting
Pairing: MaesxRoy, hints of future RoyxEd
Rating: PG13
Timeline: AU
Summary: Sixteen-year-old Roy Mustang has his work cut out for him when he takes a job babysitting the well-known and much-feared local hellions, otherwise known as the Elric brothers.
AN: A seemingly uneventful chapter, but one that actually does serve a purpose. It felt really good to get back into this again and I plan on keeping my resolution to work on it more frequently.
Adventures in Babysitting
Chapter 20
Roy sat on the couch, pretending to watch television and biting at the corners of his mouth in an effort not to smile as a heated debate carried on around him:
"Ichigo would win," Ed insisted from Roy's right, slamming a tiny automail hand against the arm of the couch for emphasis.
"Nuh-uh," Russell countered from Roy's left. "Goku."
"Ichigo."
"Goku."
"Ichigo!"
"Goku!"
And on and on. They both argued their cases as eloquently as little boys could- although Roy almost lost it when Ed pointed out that Ichigo was a Shinigami(deliberately enunciated to emphasize the awesomeness) whereas Goku was just a stupid monkey with stupid hair who was looking for his balls. Dragonballs, as Roy soon found out, not that it prevented him from unintentionally snorting his amusement over his initial assumption.
Neither side was willing to budge an inch on their respective stances. When the children finally realized that they would not be able to make each other see the error of their ways, they turned to Roy to weigh in on the pressing matter, to give them a definitive answer and break the tie.
"Uh… well…"
Roy glanced nervously between Ed and Russell, realizing that the next thing that came out of his mouth could doom him for all eternity… or at least until Mrs. Elric arrived home. He had absolutely no idea who Ichigo and Goku even were outside of the manga that the tiny blonds had shoved in his face earlier in an attempt to demonstrate the superiority of their chosen fictional character. But he knew that he had to say something. The very stubborn will of two very stubborn eight-year-olds would not allow him to escape without response.
"Optimus Prime would beat both of them," he finally concluded.
Ed and Russell fell silent in the midst of this stunning revelation. Roy could almost see their brains at work, trying to envision exactly how a battle between a robot alien, a Shinigami, and a stupid monkey with stupid hair would play out. If nothing else, invoking the name of the epic Autobot leader was bound to score him some points…
"Yeah, no shit," Ed said.
… or perhaps not.
Since there was no foreseeable end to the stalemate, Roy thought it best to come up with a diversion lest he somehow become the victim of their showdown.
"Hey guys," he said, trying to make himself heard between all the back and forth. "How about we go outside for a little while?" If he couldn't bring an end to their bickering, he hoped like hell that they would play it out of their systems.
"Okay," they said in unison.
Well then. At least they could agree on that.
xxXxx
While the boys entertained themselves in the backyard by striking weird poses and yelling about Kamehamehas and Getsuga Tenshos, whatever the hell those things even meant, Roy watched them from the sidelines, sitting on the ground and enjoying a burst of cool breeze that thankfully negated the heat of the sun. After a while, Al poked his head around the corner of the house and shyly asked if he could join Roy.
"Absolutely," Roy replied, patting a spot on the ground beside him.
Al gleefully jogged over to him and plopped down with a gusting oomph. He stretched out his legs, one small sneakered foot digging into the grass beneath him.
"Don't you want to go out there and join them?" Roy asked, nodding towards Ed and Russell. He couldn't help but to notice that the child was always suspiciously absent when Russell came around, always finding an excuse to stay in his room and color or play with the Transformers he not-so-secretly snuck out of his brother's bedroom.
Al shook his head in emphatic refusal.
"Why not? I don't think they'd mind."
"I get to play with Brother all the time," the boy explained as he tugged and pulled on a clump of grass. "Russell only gets to play with him for a little while."
Roy blinked at the seven-year-old, stunned. While most other kids would have likely been jealous over having to share their brother with someone else, that Al was so willing to sit back and let Ed have his time with Russell displayed a selflessness that people many times his age did not possess.
"You're such a good kid, Al," Roy said softly.
Al looked up at Roy and smiled sweetly. "You're a good kid, too." He patted Roy on the knee. "A good big kid," he clarified.
Roy grinned and ruffled Al's hair, absurdly touched by the sentiment. "Thanks, Al."
"Welcome."
After that, they sat in silence, watching with matching expressions of amused confusion as Ed started going on about his Bankai and Russell proclaimed himself to be a Super Saiyan. Roy still had no idea what the hell they were talking about, but as long as they were having fun- and not trying to kill him- it was all good.
About ten minutes later, Al spoke up again.
"Roy?"
"Hm?"
"Will you help me make a card for Brother's birthday?"
Brother's… Ed's birthday?
"When is it?" Roy asked.
With a furrowed brow, Al started to count on his fingers, concentrating fiercely on the task. It was cuter than words could express.
"Not tomorrow Saturday, but the one after that," he finally answered.
Next Saturday. Ed's birthday was next Saturday.
"Of course I'll help you," Roy said.
"Yay!"
Would that all of life's dilemmas be solved so easily. And adorably.
Roy leaned back on his hands and contemplated this new information. At first, he wondered why Ed hadn't mentioned anything about it. Most kids couldn't wait for their birthdays and never hesitated to let everyone around them know about it. Repeatedly. But then again, Ed wasn't most kids, was he? Being that he didn't have a lot of friends, large parties probably weren't his thing. Roy thought about asking Al how they celebrated his birthdays in the past but he also didn't want to pry. Maybe he would mention it in passing to Mrs. Elric and see what the woman had to say. Surely she was planning something for her firstborn, no matter how small-scale it might be.
Then there was the question of a gift. Roy had to get him a gift. But what on earth did one buy for a boy like Ed? Some manner of toy, most likely. But what?
Just as he was about to ask Al his opinion on the subject, Ed let out a delightfully shrill scream that miraculously managed not to break every window within a mile. Roy looked out on the chaos, impressed that Russell had managed to pin the strong little boy to the ground, tickling him within an inch of sanity. Ed bucked and kicked and laughingly proclaimed that Saiyans did not tickle but Russell clearly did not get that memo. The teen got up and brushed off his jeans, then walked over to the duo. He didn't want to be a downer, but he also didn't want Russell to become the accidental victim of automail to the face. As it turned out, his good intentions were his undoing, as the children turned on him and proceeded to attack him with imaginary moves that resulted in pain that was all too real.
Well then. At least they agreed on that, too.
xxXxx
Since it was Ed's last day of suspension, Roy splurged and ordered the boys a pizza for dinner. Staying true to form, Ed picked all the cheese off his slices and gave it to Al, who was more than willing to put it away. The war between Shinigami and Saiyans was over for now, pushed to the side for the sake of stuffing faces. Roy ate quietly while the children discussed things of life-altering importance, things like whether or not ThunderCats liked catnip and how Transformers went to the bathroom.
He almost choked on his soda when Al innocently asked if SpongeBob had a woo-woo.
After dinner and baths, they camped out in front of the television with cookies and chips and books and games. Ed was the first to succumb to slumber, surprisingly early, sprawled out across the floor and using Roy's foot as an unlikely pillow. Russell was next, although he kept insisting that he wasn't tired every time Roy jolted him awake with the sound of his voice. Even Al was yawning regularly and rubbing at his face in an effort to wipe the sleep away.
"Alright guys," Roy said. "Bedtime."
He eased Ed's head off his foot and escorted Al and Russell upstairs to brush their teeth. Afterwards, Russell collapsed onto his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles sleeping bag and was snoring lightly by the time Roy left the room. Roy led Al into his room and waited as the child dutifully crawled into bed and yawned one last time for good measure.
"'Night, Roy," Al said sleepily.
"Goodnight, Al." Roy pulled the blanket up to his chin.
"Roy?"
"Hm?"
The young boy looked at him through heavy lids, his lip curving slightly in a weary smile. "I had a lot of fun today."
Roy pressed a hand to Al's forehead, smoothing back brown locks. "Me too, Al," he replied.
He turned to leave and had no sooner reached the door when Al called out to him again.
"Yes?"
"I wish you could be our babysitter forever."
A wave of affection tore through Roy, catching him off guard in its unexpected depth. He smiled at the blanketed lump across the room, feeling feelings he never intended to feel. This was just supposed to be a job, after all. But deep down he knew that it had stopped being that a long time ago.
"… Me too, Al."
Roy left the room and headed down the stairs, not wanting to think of the decision he would have to make one day. He looked at Ed and shook his head, trying to determine if it was worth possible bodily injury to wake him.
Screw it. His teeth would keep for one night.
He knelt down and carefully picked him up. Ed's arms and legs dangled lifelessly as Roy held him and his head came to a thumping rest against the teen's shoulder, his blond hair smelling of soap. Roy grunted softly as he stood upright- Ed's automail was hardly light- and made his way back up the stairs once more, gingerly traversing each step with his cargo. He used his foot to nudge open the door to Ed's room and carried him over to his bed, taking great caution not to step on Russell in the process.
Roy placed Ed in his bed, cradling the back of his head until it was on the pillow. He covered the boy with a blanket that he knew full well would be kicked off within the hour- if not sooner- and paused for a moment as he regarded Ed's peaceful visage, a rarity well worth beholding.
What would he do when he finally made enough money to buy himself a car? That was always the plan from the start, to do the babysitting thing just long enough to afford a vehicle. Then he would be able to get a "real" job after that. But now that he had become such an integral part of the brothers' lives- and vice versa, so much vice versa- could he really walk away from them once that day arrived?
Did he really want to?
The answer to the question was easy enough.
The choice he would have to make, however, would prove to be most difficult.
Roy reached out to Ed and tried to smooth down the cowlick that was just as stubborn as its owner. Of course it did not comply. With a wry smirk, he gave up and left it go.
"Goodnight, Ed," he whispered to the unconscious little boy.
With that, Roy turned around and walked out of the bedroom…
xxXxx
Ed waited until he heard the door close.
"Goodnight, Roy."
He buried his face in his pillow, blushing furiously as he recalled every single step between the living room and his bedroom. Ed supposed that he should have been ashamed of himself for allowing the teen to think he was asleep- though to be fair, he had been- but when Roy's arms wrapped around him and lifted him from the floor, there was no way in hell he was about to give himself away.
And then when Roy tried to tame his untamable cowlick? Well, that was just all sorts of icing on the cake.
Ed sighed into the darkness, his little heart thundering with joy and spilling over with love.
A boy could get used to that kind of happiness.
xxXxx
They were outside again, studying the star-filled sky.
"So a little Al told me that someone's having a birthday next Saturday."
Trisha nodded mid-drag before replying. "I meant to mention it to you earlier," she said apologetically. "But those two keep me so busy it's a wonder that I can remember my own name half the time."
Roy chuckled. He knew the feeling.
"We're going to keep it simple," Trisha continued. "Dinner, cake, that sort of thing. Pinako and Winry will come. And Russell. And his little brother, Fletcher…. And their father."
Roy favored Trisha with a raised brow and a knowing glance.
"What?" she demanded, averting her gaze.
"Oh, nothing," Roy responded a little too innocently.
"Am I that obvious?"
"Yes."
Their shared laughter filled the air, and Roy found himself wondering what kind of place the world would be if all mothers were like Trisha Elric.
"Anyway, of course you're invited, too. But since we're doing this on a Saturday night, I understand if you have other plans. I know you have a life outside of watching over my sons." The woman took another drag and exhaled slowly. "But if you would like to come over, you're more than welcome. And… well, I'm sure you know that it would just make Ed's entire year to have you there."
Roy did know that. But it was still nice to hear.
"Then I'll be there," he said.
Trisha smiled in that way she had of doing that practically lit up the night. Honestly, was there any member of that family who wasn't downright loveable?
Well, Roy supposed there was one. But he didn't count. The bastard.
Maes arrived five minutes later. Roy wished Trisha a good night and weekend and got into the car. He informed Maes about Ed's birthday and, when asked what he was getting for him, shrugged and stared out the passenger side window at all the nothing.
"I don't know," he said. "Something Transformery, maybe."
"Can't go wrong with that."
"So what were you up to while I was gone?" Roy asked, intertwining his fingers with Maes' and still loving the embarrassingly giddy way it made him feel.
"I went to the mall. I wanted to pick up a new shirt from American Eagle because, as you know, I make that shit look good."
Maes preened and paused for the proper response… although laughter probably wasn't what he was aiming for.
"Shut up. I'm sexy and you know it."
Roy rolled his eyes at his boyfriend's hubris but did not deny the claim.
"Oh yeah, I ran into Breda while I was there," Maes added. "He kept following me around, asking me what happened with Gracia, why I didn't hook up with her. Stuff like that. It was kind of weird." The young man shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe he wants to hook up with her."
"Maybe," Roy agreed. "I would like to think that she has better taste than that, though."
"Well… obviously."
More preening. Roy wasn't sure if he would be able to fit in the car much longer on account of Maes' gigantic ego.
When they arrived home, the three amigos were waiting for them in the driveway, crammed into Jean's small car and ready to get shit-faced. Roy decided against the booze that night, much to the astonishment of everyone. Instead, he sipped on a soda as they all sat in the living room and shot the breeze, curled up on a chair with Maes sitting on the floor beside him, one hand cupping and stroking his calf in absentminded possessiveness.
Later, after a movie and a game of spades and some Rock Band (Sheska's drunken caterwauling would haunt them all to their graves), Maes and Roy grabbed pillows and blankets for the girls, who had passed out on the couch in an impossible contortion of arms and legs. They then dragged Jean to Roy's room and more or less dumped him onto the floor, not that he had any awareness of being mishandled in such a way.
"Heavy motherfucker," Maes grunted before climbing into Roy's bed.
Roy stared at his partner. "Maes. What are you doing?"
"Come on," the teen pleaded, staring up at him with those irresistible green eyes. "Five minutes."
Roy knew all about Maes' distorted concept of time. But how on earth could he say no to that face?
"Okay, seriously. Five minutes."
He slid under the blanket, wisely choosing to ignore the young man's smug look of victory. Roy allowed himself to be pulled into a pair of strong arms and he planted his face in Maes' neck, breathing in deeply.
"Today was a good day," he murmured, punctuating his observation with a kiss.
"Yeah, it was." Maes pulled him even closer and rested his chin on Roy's head.
They remained that way for a few more minutes, until Maes reluctantly kept his word and sat up in the bed.
"You know what I wish, though?" he said as he straightened his glasses. "That we could just sleep in the same bed for one night."
"We did, remember? And your dad almost caught us," Roy reminded him. "We get to live together, Maes. I'd say we're pretty fucking lucky."
"Yeah, I know. But still."
Maes bent down and kissed Roy on the lips. For a very long time.
"Alright, get out of here," Roy demanded breathlessly, although his body begged him to reconsider.
"Fine." Maes begrudgingly got out of the bed. "Goodnight."
"Goodnight."
Maes held his ground as if he had something else to say. Instead, he let his fingers trail down Roy's cheek.
A simple touch that spoke volumes.
Roy waited until Maes left his room.
Then he began to smile.
… And thenhe almost suffocated to death when Jean let rip the most noxious beer fart ever.
xxXxx
It wasn't often that Trisha allowed herself the luxury of sleeping in.
"Ichigo!"
"Goku!"
"Ichigo!"
"Goku!"
And it looked like that morning would notbe an exception, either.
She pried open her eyes as, down the hallway, two equally determined blond terrors were wide awake and going at it. Trisha had no idea who Ichigo and Goku were, but at that moment, she could have gleefully strangled both of them for inspiring such a ruckus.
It was going to be an interesting weekend.
TBC