THE VEIL

Chapter 25

3rd November 1995 - Forgiveness

Bits of gift wrap and ribbon scattered the floor around the armchair that Sirius was stretched out in. Harry, Ron and Harry's Hermione had sent him birthday gifts along with Remus, Tonks and to his mild surprise, Molly Weasley and Kingsley Shacklebolt. It was the gift from Kingsley that he was staring at the note sitting in his lap. It read,

Happy Birthday Sirius,

I managed to smuggle this out of the evidence and thought you may want it back. Sorry I couldn't get anything else.
Regards,

Kingsley

The item was a plaited leather bracelet with a silver clasp. It was what he had been given the Christmas his Hermione had given him after she had rescued him. The memory of that time he had now was from two points of view. After Dumbledore had sent for him and Remus they were shown the pensieve. The moment Sirius realised what and whose memories he was in he had tried to leave. Dumbledore held him there saying that she wanted him to see, to know. It was painful, made worse after what he did that night. Hermione had given Dumbledore almost all of the memories of when she went back in time.

Sirius didn't fail to notice she deliberately withdrew specific parts. He was grateful to her for that. Seeing himself after what his mother had done to him, made him want to retch. Seeing Regulus also sent stabs of pain into his heart. But watching himself in Azkaban had him wanting to leave again. Remus this time held him as he watched what Hermione saw. She put in the unedited memory of her last return. When Sirius told her to leave. His feeling of guilt about that moment still sat heavy in his heart. He picked up the bottle of fire whiskey Tonks sent to him, taking a long swig. The alcohol didn't dim it, but it numbed him enough, as he continued to stare at the bracelet.

Remus stood leaning in the doorway of the library. He had been standing there long enough to know that he was stewing on a subject that gave him both heartache and happiness. He had managed to free his schedule with the Order to be able to spend time with his friend. clearing his throat Remus walked over slowly claiming the other armchair by the fire.
"You are meant to wear it on your wrist I believe." He smirked at his friend. He put the bag he carried down between them, pulling out another bottle of fire whiskey. He raised it to his friend in a silent toast and took a swig. Sighing as the whiskey burned its way into his stomach. The cold had set in outside and his cloak wasn't quite warm enough.

Sirius turned it over again, before putting it on, taking another drink, staring at the fire. The two sat in companionable silence drinking, both had already discussed at length what they had seen in the pensieve. Sirius had found he wasn't surprised at Remus's feelings when they were revealed in the pensieve. Sirius couldn't blame the man. Especially after witnessing what he had left behind after he was arrested. He actually boxed Remus's ears as Hermione had once threatened because Sirius knew his friend had wasted his own life.

"So, thirty five. How does it feel?" Remus asked breaking the silence. Sirius snorted, "Moony, you have been thirty five for seven months longer. You know how it feels. The same as it does when I was thirty four."
Remus chuckled, "Yes but it has a better distinction in my opinion"

Sirius looked at his friend amused, "Oh yes, one must require a sense of affability and nobility at thirty five." He scoffed.
"One can only try. Better to be affable and noble than miserable and senile." Remus toasted, Sirius grinned returning the toast.

The landing outside the library creaked, Sirius paid it no heed, thinking it was Kreacher skulking around again. He glanced at Remus his eyes were on the doorway. Hermione stood in the entrance, she looked ready to bolt. Sirius's eyes widened at seeing her, he stood suddenly. Hermione moved back skittish. Sirius didn't fail to notice the wand in her hand. The guilt he had been drowning in whiskey swelled again. He had drawn his wand on her previously, she hadn't tried to defend herself at the time.

"It is lovely to see you Hermione," Remus said softly leaning back into his armchair taking a sip of whiskey, watching her carefully. Hermione didn't take her eyes from Sirius. She was pale; her cheeks still had tearstains on them. The guilt swelled again. He took a step towards her, the look on her face, mixed fear and sadness, was like a blow to his stomach. She stepped back again, poised to bolt.

Hermione had been thrown back from the veil, she had not even had time to gain control of how she felt after her last visit in time. Coming back out in Sirius's old bedroom did not help in the slightest. His room had too many memories, especially when you land on your hands and knees on the rug with the age darkened bloodstains. When she had managed to control her breathing she had made her way slowly down the stairs. Voices from the library caught her attention and she stopped at the portal, Remus and Sirius were both sitting, drinking. Remus caught her movement at the door. She couldn't move. Until Sirius stood suddenly, staring at her. Her heart thundered in her chest. Did he still blame her. How much time had passed? She took in the paper that littered his chair. Not much time. She stared at Sirius, his face open for her to read the guilt, anguish, shame, and worry. She could not deal with those emotions from him. She backed away again. Her back was against the bannister. Her breathing became rapid again. "I'm sorry." Sirius voice cut through her racing thoughts, "Princess I am sorry."

Hermione frowned. The words, she was not able to comprehend, her mind was racing with everything else. Sirius took another step towards her. She bolted.

"Shit." Remus muttered following Sirius out as he ran after her. Sirius had locked the front door from the landing. Hermione was pulling on it futilely. In her state she forgot she had her wand in her hand.
Remus stepped past Sirius, who stood in shock at her panicked state. Hermione had slid to the ground, knees drawn up realising that she was locked in. Remus moved slowly and sat next to the witch, struggling to control her breathing.

"Hermione. We both forgive you." He spoke quietly. "We saw your memory. We know what happened. We forgive you." He gently put a hand on her back and rubbed it gently, allowing her to calm herself on her own. She leaned into him as her breathing steadied into sobs. Sirius slowly sat down on her other side. He watched as Remus held her. He had seen Remus holding her when she had done the same thing not so long ago in the memory she had shared. They were all broken from what Peter and Voldemort had done, was still doing.

Remus nodded to Sirius; Hermione had fallen asleep exhausted from her roller coaster of emotions. He lifted her easily into his arms. Her head nuzzled in to his chest and she sighed. He carried her back to the library and settled her on the sofa on the other side of the fire. He sat back in the armchair and took a long drink. Remus joined him and followed suit.

"She knows we forgive her?" Sirius asked as he looked at her sleeping form. Remus watched Sirius, "She knows. Her problem right now is forgiving herself, same as you Padfoot. You both need to." Sirius turned to Remus who raised his brow at him as he took a long drink.

Remus had fallen asleep in his armchair and was snoring softly; the fire had died to burning embers. Hermione had woken and found herself face to face with a big black dog, looking at her with big sad eyes. Hermione automatically scratched behind his ears. Padfoot touched his nose to her cheek. She shifted on the couch and made space patting the space. Padfoot turned his head and morphed in front of her.
"Princess, I have a better idea" he whispered and lifted her before she had a chance to protest, carrying her out of the library.

He carried her upstairs to his bedroom, gently depositing her on the bed and climbed in after. He settled the quilt around her and began combing her hair gently.
"I am sorry Princess. I am so sorry." He whispered softly to her. Hermione turned in his embrace to face him. Her troubled brown eyes found his in the darkened room. "Remus is too?" She asked softly, needing the reassurance.

Sirius nodded, his had still combing her hair.

"Remus too. If it helps, I boxed his ears for you." His eyes crinkled in amusement as she snickered. He kissed her forehead, "Get some sleep Princess. You look exhausted."

Hermione snuggled into his chest. Sirius continued to comb her hair gently long after her breathing became regular as she drifted into sleep.

A pillow thumped Sirius on the head waking him up. He growled at the attacker as he scrambled for his wand. He stopped midway when he realised that the bed was empty. Remus snorted at him still holding the pillow, "I was sorely tempted to re-enact waking you the same way we did on your seventeenth. She said that if I did I wouldn't get any pancakes."

Sirius scrambled out of the bed, like a child at Christmas. "She is still here?"
Remus gave his friend a half smile, "She is in the kitchen. Apparently she stopped Kreacher from putting something nasty on me while I slept. I woke up to her yelling at Kreacher."

They made their way down to the kitchen, where the unmistakable smell of Hermione's pancakes wafted. The table was already set with two giant piles of pancakes for each of them as well as a large pile in the centre in case they needed more. She was floating another on top of the stack when they came in. She smiled timidly in greeting and Turned to direct a large pot of freshly brewed coffee to the table.

The two men sat at the table, Remus noted there was no plate where she sat.

"Hermione, have you eaten?" he asked as he grabbed the maple syrup and doused his stack. Hermione ignored the question and poured them all coffee. Sirius flicked his wand and a plate and cutlery flew over landing in front of her. He then picked up three pancakes and plonked them on the plate, pouring syrup over them for her. Both wizards waited silently for her to pick up her knife and fork and take a bite. Her face flushed as she realised what they were doing and cut a small slice taking a dainty bite. When she was up to her third bite into her mouth they finally dug in; both moaning in satisfaction for the fluffy syrup coated breakfast. Hermione was still picking at hers as the two finished their stacks and dented the large pile in the middle.

"Hermione, as usual your pancakes were superb." Remus complemented her. Sirius, looked at her plate, he growled at what was left but nothing more was said. The two wizards cleaned up, for once doing it by hand instead of magic. Hermione read the old newspaper that was sitting on table as they cleaned up.

Remus checked the time and sighed, "I need to get going. I have to go relieve Tonks." Hermione looked up, a small smile on her lips,

"Take the leftovers for her Remus. She probably would appreciate some breakfast as well."

Remus looked at the plate on the table, "I – if you think so?" Hermione transfigured the plate into a container around the pancakes and floated them to Remus, "Trust me Remus. She will be happy for the breakfast."
Hermione stood up and gave him a hug, whispering in his ear, "If you don't I'll box your ears."
Remus pulled away with an eyebrow raised, "Something you know I don't?"

Hermione kissed him on the cheek, and stepped away "Witches intuition."

Remus chuckled and walked out. Sirius was leaning against the wall watching amused, "Playing matchmaker?"
Hermione smiled slyly. "If I can change anything in time, it will be ensuring that Remus is happy."

Sirius chuckled stepping forward and pulled her into his arms. "And me?"
Hermione looked up at him through hooded lashes a frown on her face, "I don't make you happy Mr Black?"
Sirius grinned at her, "You make me feel like the luckiest man alive Princess."

He captured her lips and she melted into him. The whispering wove around them, both unaware until her form had disappeared from him.

"Until that happens," He muttered his hand playing with the leather band on his wrist, "It is highly frustrating." He walked out of the kitchen, slamming doors setting the painting of his mother off as he went in search of the liquor cabinet.