A/N: Well, this is the last of the long chapters. The last one on my laptop is only like a page long. I finally decided to get off my lazy ass and finish this damn thing, so I did. I'll talk more about it in the final chapter. Enjoy! ~Maddie
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the brand names I mention in this story. I also don't own any of the music lyrics that appear.
Chapter 25
Homecoming…
I sighed and continued to walk towards the Ichiraku Ramen Bar. As I was slurping up my ramen next to Naruto, I thought about the past couple of days. We had left the Toga clan early in the morning and set off back to the Leaf Village. All the time, however, I kept seeing Madeline peek at me.
What the hell? I had thought. Why is she…does she know that I know that Shikamaru's totally crushing on her?
Once we got back to the village, everything went back to normal. I started training again, along with the combination of lounging around and listening to music.
I looked up from my food just in time to see Madeline run by with Angel at her heels. She had taken up the job of being the Leaf Village's Messenger, which was why she was carrying a brown bag filled with letters around her shoulder. She told me it was to get extra money and that it allowed her to go on her daily run. I asked if she ran around the whole village, but she replied with a quick no. If she were to do that, then she would surely die. She only did a corner of the village, the area where we lived around. Usually, she said, she would get in a good five or six miles while on the job every morning.
I don't know why she took the job if she has all that money that Harutomo gave us for that mission, but whatever. After I had finished my lunch, I paid the owner and headed towards the training grounds.
"What the hell?" I gasped.
I had been practicing for only about an hour or two, and I couldn't really perform my fireball jutsu. Usually, it takes about four hours before I really start to get tired. I tried out one of my lightning jutsus and had to stop almost immediately because my arm felt as if it were on fire.
Maybe I'm just tired today, I thought. I'll just go home and relax or something…
"C'mon, Angel, let's go!" I called over my shoulder, throwing my red Messenger jacket on.
I grabbed the empty brown messenger bag, threw it over my shoulder, and left the condo. Angel and I walked over to the post office, gathered up our mail for the morning, and then we ran off. I did the usual five mile loop, stopping at a house that needed its mail. However, there were occasions when I had to personally walk up to the door and the hand the person a scroll or a package. Obviously, those were top-secret letters and packages that couldn't be trusted in with being in a mailbox. During those times, I would be given tips, even though I got paid a fair amount of money at the end of each week.
Ever since I started the job, people have kept asking me why I even took it. I always gave them the same answer: I just want to make some extra money when I'm not on missions. Besides, it gives me an opportunity to carry out my daily run.
However, I never tell them that I'm saving up money to buy a place of my own to keep track on Noah and Angel. After the retrieval incident, I need to keep a better eye out for them. The only one who knows of my 'plan' is Shikamaru, and I don't think he'll tell anyone. I might tell Kakashi later when picking out the location, but that's it.
After I was finished with the last house, I started to jog back to the condo, passing the Ichiraku Ramen Bar on the way there. I waved to Lilian, who was sitting at the booth, eating ramen, and continued on my way. Once Angel and I got back, I had my cool down and drew for a while with music floating through the air. A couple of hours later, around five, I decided that I could squeeze in some training into my day. I dressed in my regular ninja clothes, walked to the training grounds, and well, started to train.
What was strange, though, was that I was getting exhausted pretty easily. I had only trained for about three hours when I couldn't even perform my drawing release jutsu. I was so tired that I collapsed to the ground and sat there for a while, trying to get my breath back.
"I guess I'm just tired from running," I said aloud. "I guess I'll just rest and give it a try some other time."
"This is ridiculous!" I cried, angrily chucking a kunai at a tree. "What the hell is going on?!"
It had almost been two weeks now, and I was no better of a ninja than I was when we came back from the Toga mission. In fact, I had gotten worse. I couldn't train longer than an hour before becoming completely wiped out and having my usual chakra drained from my body. I could no longer perform a summoning jutsu, any of my genjutsus, and I could hardly get by with my earth jutsus. Angel had also noticed that she couldn't perform any fire jutsus without really concentrating.
Something bad is going on, Angel whimpered.
"No shit, Sherlock," I muttered. "I…I wonder if Lilian or Noah is having the same problems as I am…? We should go ask them, come on."
"Lilian, Maddie's at the door," Neji stood in front of me, blocking my view out the window.
"Alright," I sighed, sliding off the chair I was sitting in and wearily walking towards the door.
I opened the door and stared. Madeline was standing there, gasping for air, looking like she was going to collapse any second, covered in dirt and sweat. When she looked up me with frantic eyes, I knew something was wrong.
"Can't……perform…jutsus…" she panted. "Emergency…team……meeting…now…"
I bit the inside of my lip and followed her to the training grounds. Noah and Angel were already there, Angel twitching impatiently and Noah twiddling his thumbs.
"Finally!" Noah sprang up. "Thank God you're here!"
"What's all of this about?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.
Madeline turned to me and took a deep breath, "Have…have you been training recently?"
"Of course," I nodded. "I train every other day or so. Why?"
"……Can…can you perform any jutsus? I mean easily? Like no sweat, too easy?"
I remained silent and shook my head.
"I can't even train for an hour," I whispered.
"Exactly, neither can I," she began to pace nervously. "I don't know what's going on…I can't think of an explanation."
"We were so far ahead," Noah added. "And now, it's like our chakra and abilities are fading or something."
"That's what I think is happening," Madeline murmured. "I went to the hospital earlier this morning to see if I was right…and I was. Lord Hiashi happened to be there, so I had him check my chakra levels, points, circulation, everything. He said that my…demon was a lot weaker than when he had first observed it…and it looks like it's getter weaker every day, every minute. Like Noah said, it's almost as if it's fading."
"But how is that even possible?" I objected, started to walk around too. "You can't just get a demon and then lose it! You can't just learn jutsus and chakra control and then just lose it all! I bet this has never happened to any ninja before. So, why us? Why would this happen?"
"I've thought about that question long and hard," Madeline said quietly. "And I can only come up with one possible solution."
We all turned to look at her. She had sat down on a gray boulder and was holding her right hand curled into a fist to her lip thoughtfully. She lifted her gaze from the ground and looked at us from underneath her bangs.
"We're going back," she whispered.
No one said anything. In fact, no one even moved. The three of us just stared at her like she was insane.
"What, go back to the real world?" Noah cried.
His sister nodded gravely.
"No! That's impossible! I thought we were stuck here forever!"
"So did I," I murmured. "But that's obviously not the case anymore. Why do you think we would go back there, to actual reality?"
"I don't know," Madeline muttered. "Maybe, our role here is up. Maybe we had some duty to fulfill, and we carried it out without even knowing it. We know that we're in that prophecy thing, but we didn't get far enough to be able to release our demons or learn to control them or something…Maybe we just came here so we could prepare ourselves and then return later to fulfill it…"
She had obviously taken a lot of time and energy in trying to figure this problem out. And I had to agree, her theories seemed to make sense. I sighed and sat down on the ground.
"So what do we do now?" I asked quietly, picking at a blade of grass.
Madeline stood up and turned her back on us, looking up at the sky.
"We tell no one," she replied. "Not one person is going to know about this until we can't even bring chakra to our body parts through concentration. After that day arrives, we'll probably go back home a couple of days later, so that's when we can tell everyone. Until then…"
She walked away into the trees, giving one a good angry kick on her way out of the clearing.
"No one will ever speak of this."
I stared at the sunset before me, not paying any attention to the watercolor sitting in my lap. Angel nudged me with her nose and I snapped out of my thoughtful trance. I sighed, scratched her head, and glanced at my painting. It was the one of the village I had started when I was in the hospital, and I had never finished it. I felt a need to finish it, for if I truly were going back to my world, then I wanted some proof that me being here had actually happened.
I felt rushed everyday, like I had only a certain amount of time before dieing or something. It was as if a giant hourglass was floating above my head, and slowly, every grain of sand, every second, would pass, drop to the bottom, like a bomb dropping from an enemy airship, and I would watch those seconds tick by, feeling as if I were being shot in the heart for every grain that descended.
I spent as much time as I could with everyone, hanging out with Chouji and Ten-Ten and Kakashi. I even took a trip to the Sand Village to hang out with Temari, Kankurou, and Gaara. And all the while, I took pictures with my cell phone and uploaded them to my laptop.
The one person I kept my distance from, however, was Shikamaru. I didn't want to spend a bunch of time with him and then turn around and say that I was leaving for probably forever. I couldn't do that, so I tried to avoid him as much as possible. I just hoped that Noah didn't say anything to him.
I finished off my watercolor, signed my name, and held it up in front of me. Yes, it would definitely hang up in my room, framed. I gathered all of my materials up, made my way down to the ground, and started to head back to the condo. I held my notebook and everything to my chest and stared at the ground, thinking.
"Hey, Maddie!" a voice called.
I looked up to see Naruto and Chouji waving at me. Shikamaru, Kiba, Kakashi, Sakura, and Ino were all standing behind the two, smiling. Naruto ran over to me, waving his arms in the air, as if I couldn't see him.
"Hey!" he grinned widely. "You wanna come and eat with us at Ichiraku's Ramen or the Teahouse or something?"
I looked from him to everyone and a pain of sorrow shot through my heart.
"No, it's okay," I shook my head. "I…I already ate."
"Well, that's fine; you can just hang out with us then!"
"Honestly, Naruto, I really should be heading home. I'm tired and I need to work on some things."
"Oh, well okay. Maybe next time then?"
He looked so hopeful and happy, that I had to turn my back on him so he couldn't see the tears forming in my eyes.
"Yeah, sure, next time…"
The days passed slowly by, and I could feel myself getting weaker and weaker. Every day, after coming back from work, I would go out and train. And everyday, I could only do so much before almost passing out with exhaustion. Finally, the day came when I couldn't even perform the simplest of jutsus. When that happened, I went home and locked myself in my room for the rest of the night.
The next morning, when I was on my daily route delivering, I stopped by the Hyuuga's household.
"Come and meet me at my condo when I'm finished," I told Lilian when she answered, handing her the mail.
I hurriedly carried out my job, showered, and walked around the village with my friend.
"So, what's this all about?" she asked.
I looked around to make sure no one could hear me. Leaf ninja could be blindfolded and still hear a pin drop in a sandstorm.
"It happened yesterday," I muttered. "My ability to perform jutsus. It's gone."
She nodded solemnly, "Same thing happened to me."
"I…think it's time to start telling people…about…you know…"
"What?" Lilian stared at me. "I thought we were not going to tell anyone until-"
I cut her off, "I know, but how long will that be? Tomorrow? The day after that? I'm telling you, we don't have much time left."
She remained silent for a time before sighing, "Yeah, I suppose you're right…So how are we going to break this to everyone?"
"I think we should start with Kakashi," I said after pausing. "He'll be the one who will take this thing seriously without freaking out."
Lilian nodded and we were about to go off to find him when we heard a voice behind us.
"And what will I take seriously without freaking out?" it asked.
We both turned to see our sensei leaning up against a shop's wall, reading his perverted book. Lilian and I exchanged glances. How long had he been listening?
"To answer your question, I've been listening almost the whole time," he said, flipping a page.
"So you know then?" Lilian asked.
He looked up, "From what I know from what you two have been talking about for the past week, you're losing your chakra and going off to someplace against your will. Am I right?"
"You were eavesdropping on us?" I demanded.
Kakashi closed his book, "Everyone started to get worried why you two were looking depressed and being distant lately, so I was just investigating. Apparently, this was not what any of us had expected at all."
"It certainly is unexpected," I murmured. "But at the same time, not."
They both turned to look at me.
"What do you mean?" my friend asked.
"I mean, come on, did you honestly think that we were going to stay here forever and never go back to our own world?"
"No," she muttered.
"Exactly. Kakashi, what we're really talking about is going back to our own world. The world where ninjas, jutsus, or chakra don't exist. Basically, reality. But we really don't want to go back, with all the war and economic depression and school and everything else that makes our world a piece of crap. So, we need your help. How are we going to tell everyone?"
Kakashi stared at us before sighing and rubbing his concealed chin thoughtfully.
"Everyone that you know knows that you're from a different world, right?" he asked.
We both nodded and he sighed again, "Well, you're just going to have to tell them straight off. You should probably go find everyone right now so they'll be prepared. I'll notify Lady Hokage and the other senseis, you two just take care of your friends."
I groaned, "C'mon, let's go…"
I tried thinking of how to tell everyone that I was leaving for probably forever while Madeline and I strolled the streets of Konoha, looking for them. I've been hanging out with Kiba and Akamaru pretty often lately, so they'll probably be shocked. Chouji and Ten-Ten will be sad too, especially Hanabi and Hinata. Hanabi probably won't understand, but she'll probably beg me not to go to wherever she thinks I'm going. And then, there's Neji. Well, his reaction will be a surprise, that's for sure.
We first met up with Rock Lee, who was in the middle of running five hundred laps around the village. After we finally managed to get the news out, he burst into exaggerated tears and said how much he was going to miss us so much before running off to tell Gai sensei. Madeline and I then split up to find the people we usually hang out with to make the job less awkward and easier.
I had just finished telling Kiba and Akamaru and started to walk off when a kunai whizzed past me. I flinched and froze, looking around. Suddenly, Neji emerged from some nearby trees, arms crossed over his chest. It was dusk and we were in the forest surrounding the training grounds, so his face was hit with a slanted ray of both moonlight and the setting sun.
"You weren't on guard," he said.
"Oh really?" I replied sourly, chucking the kunai back at him, missing by a long shot.
"I see that you are extra bitchy today. Tell me, when can I expect the smartass comments?"
"Beat it, Neji," I growled. "I don't have time to fight with you right now…or rather, anymore."
He raised one eyebrow, cool and slow, "And why is that?"
I threw my hands in the air, "I'll tell you later, alright?"
"No," Neji took a step forward towards me. "You're going to tell me now."
I started backing up as he approached me, his arms still crossed over his chest. Finally, my back hit the bark of a tree and I was forced to stare into his eyes.
"Okay, I'll tell you," I mumbled before taking a deep breath. "…I'm……kinda…er…going away…and…something…bleh……yeah…"
Neji looked at me funny, "I didn't quite catch that. Care to speak up a little?"
I sighed angrily and glared at him, "God…why is this so…Ugh, whatever. I'm going back to my world for who knows how long, okay? Possibly, I won't be coming back. Madeline and her brother and their dog too. That's why I haven't been training lately, 'cause I can't do anything because that's how I am in my world. There, I don't have any ninja skills or-"
"Wait a second," Neji interrupted me. "You're going back to your world?"
I gave him a queer look but nodded.
He sighed and muttered to himself, "So Lord Hiashi was right then…"
"What do you mean Lord Hiashi was right?"
Neji started to pace, "Lord Hiashi told me a couple of days ago that Maddie's chakra was getting weaker and weaker. He said he didn't know why, it just was. I asked if the same thing was happening to you, and he said probably. So I thought about it. Why would you guys just lose your chakra and demons when you've come so far? I finally came up with the solution that maybe you were…leaving, as in going back to your world. I remember you saying that you couldn't do anything in your dimension, so I watched you, Maddie, and her brother train and get worse everyday…which just proved that I was right.
"Lilian," he turned and stood in front of me. "Tell me, how long were you aware of this? And why didn't you tell someone about it?"
"Because I knew that no one would be able to help me," I whispered.
Neji suddenly grabbed my wrist, "Then why tell us when you'll disappear in only a couple of days? Couldn't you have given us a week's notice? A month?"
"I didn't want anyone to get stressed out," I muttered. "That's all."
He stared at me for a long moment before sighing and pulling me into a hug.
"I don't know how I'm able to deal with someone like you," he murmured. "C'mon, we better go tell the rest of the family the news."
I felt my heart start to break out into sprints as I was allowed into the Nara's ranch. I had met up with Noah on the way, and he promised that he hadn't told Shikamaru yet about us leaving. He said that he would leave that to me, which left me relieved, stressed, and nervous all at the same time.
Get it together, I told myself as I made my way through the grassy fields with Angel. Just tell him and get it over with. That's all you have to do…
I strolled through the fields, taking my time, not wanting to carry on my mission. I stopped by the barn and helped Mr. Nara feed the chickens, pigs, cows, and other animals. I also pet some of the sheep and horses in the fields. Finally, my stalling came to an abrupt halt when I spotted Shikamaru lying down in the grass, gazing at the pink and bronze clouds.
He looked up when he heard me approach and smiled, "Oh, hey."
"Hi," I muttered, trying to return the smile. "What's up?"
"Nuthin'. Just the same old troublesome stuff. How about you? Is everything alright with work and Angel?"
"Yep. Everything's just peachy."
There was an awkward silence between us as Shikamaru studied my face, frowning.
"Something's telling me that everything isn't just peachy," he finally said.
I sighed, sat down, and buried my face in my hands, "You're right…Everything is far as it can possibly be from being just peachy…Look, there's something I need to tell you."
He sat up and looked at me, recognizing my serious tone.
I could tell he was waiting for me to speak, to tell him what I needed to tell him, but I couldn't. I just sat there, fidgeting with my hands and picking at the grass.
"Well…er…" I started, averting his gaze. "I'm……going…away……and…I……uh…don't know…when I'm…going……to be……back……and…er…yeah…"
Shikamaru raised an eyebrow, "A little less troublesome please."
I sighed, "This is so…ugh…well…it's just that…ah, the hell with it…I'm going back to my own world and I don't know if I'm coming back here or not. My chakra is fading really fast, so I figure I only have a couple of days left…and I have no idea why this is happening, but it's just so unfair."
He sat there, studying my face for a long time, and I tried to avoid his eyes as much as possible. Finally, I managed to see him look away by using my peripheral vision.
"Why are you leaving?" he asked after a pause.
"I don't know," I shrugged helplessly, still not looking at him. "I think it's because maybe my time here is up…You know that prophecy thing, right? Well…I think I came here to learn about that and learn how to use my chakra. That's it."
"But you haven't fulfilled the prophecy yet."
"Which gets me thinking that I'll come back."
Shikamaru didn't answer and I could tell he was thinking this over long and hard. I waited for him to respond, but all he did was sigh and glance up at the sky.
"How long?" he finally asked.
"What?" I turned my head towards him.
He switched his gaze from the sky to me, "How long are you going to be gone? How long until you come back?"
"I don't know…" I muttered, lowering my eyes.
"Maddie, I want you to look at me for a second."
I raised my eyes until I was staring right above his eyebrows.
"Why didn't you tell me or anyone else about this? Does Lilian or Noah know?"
"Yes," I whispered, feeling my throat start to close up.
"Then why keep this from everyone?"
I took a shaky breath and looked away, "Because I didn't want to go through the formal goodbyes or have a farewell party or something like that. I knew someone would want to do something of the sort, and I can't go through that kind of thing…"
"Why?"
I didn't answer and started to pick at the grass again.
"Madeline…"
My lip twitched as I tried to keep the words that were itching to claw their way out inside of me. I felt Shikamaru's burning gaze on me so I finally shot up off the ground and started to pace fiercely. I took several deep breaths before speaking.
"It's because I'm afraid…" my voice was still shaking despite my attempts to keep it under control.
Shikamaru stood up, "What are you afraid of?"
I silently gulped more air and increased my pacing.
"Saying…goodbye…" I managed to get out. "And…"
I couldn't admit the last part. I refused to. I had always kept this from my friends, parents, even Noah. It was a secret I had sworn to keep from everyone. I balled my hands into fists and ground my teeth. I walked around in my little rut faster and faster.
"Madeline, stop," Shikamaru grabbed me by the shoulders.
I tried pushing past him, but he was too strong.
"And what?" he asked quietly.
I focused on my feet as I spoke, "Losing control…"
"Of your feelings?"
I nodded, "I…I don't like to cry…It…makes me feel like I can't do anything to control myself…It makes me feel weak…and I'm afraid that other people will think that I'm weak and a crybaby…"
Shikamaru sighed and pulled me into a hug, "What am I going to do with you? Maybe it is good that you'll be going back to your world for a while. That way, I won't have to worry about you."
I looked up at him, "So you're not mad then?"
His eyebrows furrowed, "About what?"
"Me not telling you about us going back until now."
Shikamaru rolled his eyes, "I find it typical of you not to tell anyone as important as this is and hide your feelings."
"Ok good," I smiled a little. "So now what?"
He sighed, "Well, I suppose we should get you ready for you're trip back home."
I raised an eyebrow, "It'll probably just be a flash or something and I'll be right back."
"Yeah, but we need to get everyone informed, tell your boss, and gather all of your things to make sure you don't leave anything behind."
"That sounds like a lot of work and emotional distress," I frowned.
"I know, but we'll survive," he smirked.
"Alright, let's get movin' then."
I was surprised about Shikamaru's reaction to me and the others leaving for God knows how long. I expected him to ignore me for the rest of my time there or something or call me troublesome for not telling him sooner. Instead, he was very calm about the situation and helped me get everything done that needed to be taken care of.
Chouji would literally follow me around everyday, trying to spend quality time with me I guess. I enjoyed his company, but his presence would get a little awkward sometimes. Ten-Ten made sure that my staying at her condo was the best it had ever been since I arrived. Temari, Anko, and I hung out a lot while Noah spent a lot of time with Kankurou, Gaara, and a girl his age named Matsuri. She had short brown hair, about my length, and black eyes. She wore an oversized turquoise shirt and purple shorts with a yellow bandana tied around her neck. She was one of Gaara's students from the Sand Village, and she and Noah got along quite well. Noah confessed to me later that he thought that Matsuri was kind of cute and he was going to miss her when we left.
I kept my job of being one of the Leaf Village's Messengers until the day came when I couldn't even feel the presence of my chakra. That morning, when I should have been picking up the mail to deliver, I resigned and returned the bag. I was allowed to keep the jacket, though, which was nice I suppose.
Lilian, Noah, and I had agreed that the morning we woke up and couldn't feel our chakra, let alone try to move it around, that that would be our last day at Konoha. After I left the post office, I ran a little morning run, since it was only seven in the morning. I then went to the Teahouse for lunch, for Naruto had decided to host a little party there on account of our departure. I didn't eat much, because I knew that this was the last time I would spend time with everyone together. I think Shikamaru, Noah, and Lilian noticed this, but they didn't say anything.
Once all of that was out of the way, I went all around the village, saying my goodbyes to the people I knew I wouldn't see later in the day, such as the Hyuuga clan, Tsunade, and Shikamaru's parents.
Even Sakura and Ino came up to me to say their farewells, and they even admitted that it won't be as interesting without me around, being a tomboy and all. Akamaru had a hard time dealing with the idea that Angel was going, and he whined and yipped when Kiba and I parted ways.
Finally, eight pm rolled around: sunset. I was standing on the hill that overlooked the entire village, watching the sun slowly drop behind the mountains and trees and buildings. Everything was cast in an orange glow, pink, bronze, and purple clouds streaking across the peach and magenta sky, the sun a blood-red half circle. I took out my cell phone and snapped a photo of the majestic scene, definitely deciding that I would frame the picture.
Sighing, I sat on the long, flowing grass, feeling its cool texture graze my palms, and pulled out the New Moon copy that Lilian had given me for my birthday. Angel sniffed around for butterflies, birds, and grasshoppers, but didn't have any luck and ended up lying down next to me. She whined and pawed at my hand.
I can't believe this is our last time here…I can't believe it's over…
"I know," I murmured, scratching her behind the ears, flipping a page. "It seems like only yesterday we woke up in that hospital and didn't know where the hell we were."
"I can only imagine how you reacted when you woke up," a voice said behind me.
I turned and saw Shikamaru standing there, arms crossed over his chest, an amused smile on his face.
"Really?" I asked sarcastically. "And what did I do according to you?"
He sat down next to me, "I suspect you were woken up by Gai sensei, being as annoying as he usually is. You probably didn't freak out, but lied instead to keep your cool. However, you probably became nervous when Angel and Noah weren't around."
I stared at him and shook my head, "You're too smart, Shikamaru. Maybe it is good I'm going back. That way, I won't feel so dumb when talking to other people."
He laughed but then stopped, "…So when do you suspect you'll leave? Tonight?"
"Midnight most likely," I nodded.
Shikamaru sighed and looked at the book in my hands, "I thought you didn't want to read that. I thought you said it was too sad."
"It is," I frowned. "It's just that…the situation kind of reminds me of what happens in the book."
He draped an arm over my shoulders and pulled me to his chest, "It won't be that bad, will it?"
I rested my head on his shoulder, "I guess not, but I'm going to miss being here."
An early evening breeze ruffled my hair and made goose bumps jump to my skin. I shivered and Shikamaru noticed this. He pulled away for a second and removed his Chuunin vest before taking off his Nara jacket and handing it to me.
"Keep it," he told me as I put it on.
"What?" I looked at him. "You want me to keep…?"
He smiled, "I have a feeling I won't be needing it any longer. Plus, you'll have it to remind yourself of being here."
I frowned a little and searched my pockets until I found what I was looking for.
"Here," I held out my iPod nano: device, earphones, charger, and all. "You take this."
"Your…?" he stared at my hand. "But you use this like every second of your life."
"It's alright," I dropped the stuff into his hand. "It'll be healthy for me to learn how to live without listening to it all day every day. I could always get a new one anyway."
Shikamaru sighed, took the Apple products out of my hand, and placed them in his pocket. He then wrapped his arm around my waist and we watched the sky explode into millions of shades of pinks, purples, blues, and oranges as the crimson sun cast off its final farewell. Just before the red giant slide behind the indigo mountains, I swore I saw a flash of green streak across the top. It took me a minute to realize that I had just witnessed a Green Flash, a natural wonder I had been hoping to see for years.
For a while, neither of us said anything, but we were probably trying to accomplish the same goal: stall as long as possible and try to drag on the evening. And we both knew well enough that that wasn't going to happen, for my departure would be completely unpredictable and I would need to prepare for it.
At last, ten minutes after the sun had set, Shikamaru sighed and looked at me. I gave him a sad look and he helped me up. We stood there, facing each other, not saying anything. A lump was forming in my throat that I tried to swallow while trying to keep my eyes from watering. I finally lowered my gaze to the navy grass and caught sight of Angel sitting at my feet, looking at me with sad, brown eyes.
Suddenly, I felt Shikamaru touch my shoulder gently with his hand; it was the same way he had touched my arm back at the Toga's dungeon. It was gentle, sensitive, and comforting all at the same time. I looked up at him to see that his eyes were shining, the first sign of tears. When our gazes met, he wrapped his arms around me and hugged me gently. I did the same and buried my face into his collarbone, fully aware of some tears that were trickling down my cheek.
I focused on Shikamaru's arms and analyzed them, how strong, but gentle and warm they were; how they were like a comforting blanket enveloping me in a cocoon. I then breathed in his amazing scent of hay and freshly washed cotton and tried to store it away in my vault of memories. I tried to remember everything about him, from his features to his touch. The thing was, I wanted the moment to last forever. I didn't want to have to try to remember what he looked like or how he sounded when I was gone.
At that thought, a few stray tears streaked down my face. Shikamaru, whom had been resting his head on top of mine, lifted his head and stared down at me. He wiped the tears away with his thumb, then hugged me again.
"It's going to be okay," he murmured.
"I'm going to miss you," was all I could manage to whisper.
"I know. I'm going to miss you too."
We stood there for a few more minutes, still embracing each other. Finally, Shikamaru pulled away and picked up Angel. He stroked her white fur, scratched her behind the ears, let her lick him, and finally hugged her too. When he was finished, he turned and handed her to me.
"Come on," he said, taking my arm lightly. "Let's get you home."
My heart broke in two when I witnessed Shikamaru's and Madeline's little moment from the perch of a tree about a football field away. Sighing, I climbed down and started walking aimlessly in the moonlit forest, not really thinking. It was as if I had walked into a thick white fog and didn't know where I was going or why I had started walking in the first place. And suddenly, I came out of the fog and realized I was back at my secret pond, the same pond I had met up with Neji that one night.
I approached the silver water quietly, lay down in the cool, long grass, and stared into the pond. Somehow intrigued, I dipped my index finger into the water and swirled it around. Jet black tadpoles darted away, but some of the more daring stayed behind and bravely danced around my finger, tickling it.
Then, as if by magic, a reflection of a certain person appeared in the water. He stared at me with his lavender eyes and an expressionless face.
"What are you doing here?" I murmured, not even lifting my eyes from the tadpoles.
"Well, what are you doing here all by yourself?" Neji counterattacked with another question.
"……I don't know…" I muttered after pausing.
"Watching Maddie say her final goodbyes?"
I remained silent and shifted uncomfortably in the grass that now seemed unbearably scratchy.
"She's making it too difficult," he continued, lying down next to me. "For herself and Shikamaru."
"Who said it would ever be easy?" I looked at him from the corner of my eyes.
"I'm not saying that," he started to play with my hair; lightly pulling some strands apart and letting them fall back into place.
I sighed and raised my head to look up at the sky. I stared blankly before catching sight of the moon. It was beautiful, a perfect white circle radiating silver light, basking in the company of billions and billions of twinkling stars. Neji followed my gaze and as we both looked on, there was pure silence, minus an occasional cheery cricket or belching frog.
"It's so pretty," I murmured.
"Yeah, but not nearly as pretty as you," Neji commented casually.
I smiled, embarrassed, and rested my head against his shoulder. He started to stroke my hair again, and I slowly started to get sleepy.
"Neji," I yawned.
"Hm?" he looked down on me.
"I don't think I'm going to be able to pack the rest of my things…I'm too tired…"
"Don't worry," he smirked. "When you fall asleep, I'll carry you back and do whatever needs to be taken care of for you."
"Thank you…" I said quietly, closing my eyes.
As I slowly slipped away from the state of consciousness, I vaguely felt Neji wrap his arms around me and pull me close to him.
It took Shikamaru and me about ten minutes to get from the hill to Ten-Ten's condo. During that time, Shikamaru had slowly let go of my arm and we had walked side by side like two normal people. When I reached the door, I turned around to say a final farewell, but found that he had disappeared. Angel whimpered and looked up at me with sad and confused brown eyes. My heart sank lower than it had before as I dragged my heels into the condo I had referred to as my home.
I found Ten-Ten sitting at the table, twirling a cup of tea with a stick, a depressed expression across her face. She looked up when I entered and waved. I waved back, took a quick shower, and started to pack everything back into my school backpack. I filled a plastic bag with all of my birthday gifts and managed to cram it inside. When I was finished, I walked back out into the kitchen and said my goodbye to Ten-Ten.
"I can't believe your leaving…" she said as we hugged each other.
"I know…" I frowned. "I'm going to miss everyone soooo much."
"You need to come back. I'll always keep the room open for you and Angel."
"Dude, you're the best. Thanks so freaking much for having us stay here. You don't know how much that means to me."
Ten-Ten smiled, hugged Angel, waved to me, and let me return to my room. I didn't need to turn on the light, for the moonlight lit everything bright enough. Too lazy to change into my pajamas, I was about to climb into the bed, when a cool breeze curled around my body, sending shivers down my spine. I turned and found the window halfway open. Puzzled, I went over and closed.
As I was picking up my backpack, something on my dresser caught my eye. When I got close enough, my heart shred itself to pieces. It was my iPod. I gingerly picked it up, placed it into my backpack, and climbed into my bed. Angel curled up against my side under the sheets and I put an arm around her tiny white body. I closed my eyes and just as I was about to slip away into dreamland, I felt a pair of lips ever so lightly brush up against my cheek. I opened my eyes and found Shikamaru smiling down on me. I smiled back and fell asleep.
I didn't know what time it was when I sleepily opened my eyes. All I saw was that I was in my bedroom at the Hyuuga household and that Neji was zipping up my backpack. When he started to turn in my direction, I hurriedly closed my eyes and pretended to still be asleep. I felt him gently take my arm and slip it through one of the straps of the backpack. It then became completely soundless, but I could still sense that he was standing right next to me. Then, suddenly, his lips softly touched my forehead and I opened my eyes again.
"Goodnight, Lilian…" he whispered.
I smiled and closed my eyes.
"Night…"