Jo taps her foot as her children sit with their father on the gate. Thanksgiving has proven to be a mild day, the winds soft but they are dressed for warmer weather and all in their best attire. Damon the husky sits by the gate, sniffing the ground as the black cat that Kai had taken in snoozes in a carry case.
"What's taking them so long?" Liv grouches, arms crossed over her chest. She had almost refused to come but she misses Lia so puts aside what she feels about Kai. Their father is silent, not showing any apprehension or anger. Joshua watches the seagulls swooping overhead, Eloise by his side and carrying a pumpkin pie. She had said nothing about Joshua threatening to put her in a coma, only offered her cheek for her son to kiss and he had obliged, after lifting the invitation barrier over the island for her. Ric had cocked his fingers at his temple and Jo had strung an imaginary noose around her neck, tongue out. Their family is beyond comprehension.
"Probably forgot what day it is," Ric answers and Jo sighs. Her stomach has been wrapping itself into knots, pulling tighter each day as the meal approached. Now it is a rock in the pit of her stomach. She won't be able to eat anything.
"Uncle Kai's probably putting on a show," Ellie says, jumping down from the gate as Lia and Ames suddenly appear, Bonnie's mother between them. Liv grins, the first genuine smile she has worn for days, and catches Lia in her arms.
"Aunt Liv! I'm so happy you're here."
"When have I ever missed thanksgiving?" she asks and Lia nods, eyes glowing before she hugs her cousins. Ames smiles shyly, hovering by Abby who gives a withering glance towards Joshua and then pretends he does not exist. She had come to him for help and he had turned her away so she had gone to Eloise. Jo looks down at their muddy rubber boots and frowns.
"Is it raining?"
"It's monsoon season," Amelia quips but she looks weary. All of them do. Jo moves over to Abby and hands her the ascendant, a drop of her grandmother's blood on it already.
"Is everything okay?"
"No," Abby answers simply and then hands the relic to the twins. They pause, looking unsure, eyes sweeping over their grandfather who says nothing. Jo smiles, crouching down to their eye level.
"You gonna get us over? Like before?"
"If that's okay?" Amelia asks nervously and Eloise answers, moving forward.
"Don't ask for permission," she instructs and waits patiently at the end of the isthmus, the sea calm. Both sets of twins giggle and then Lia and Ames instructs everyone to link arms, while Ames takes Jo's hand. Once all are touching Lia activates the small device, Ames muttering the spell and with a flood of immense power they disappear in a beam of white light.
"You weren't lying about the rain," Ric says breathlessly as they watch the storm through the parlour window. They had been shielded but the sight of trees bent over in hurricane force winds and the sea raging had made them run. The husky cowers under a table, Mr Cuddles already claiming an armchair by the fire, his slitted green eyed fixed on the dog. The guests move into the warmth of the kitchen, the smell of baked bread, turkey and cranberry juice heavy on the air.
Eloise watches the storm through the window. "It's not usually this bad…what's happened?"
Abby shrugs, avoiding her keen eyes. The counters are weighed down with plates and bowls of food, far too much for twelve. Kai must have been stress baking. The knot in Jo's stomach grows tighter. Bonnie, in a long burgundy velvet dress, smiles at them in greeting as she suddenly walks into the room. She is poised, ushering them towards the dining room but there is a marked strain to the woman, her smile too present, her gaze fixed over their shoulders.
Jo tries to speak to her but Bonnie takes her place at the head of the table and her mother and children sit around her. Jo looks up and freezes. Kai sits at the other end of the table and she knows at once that something is terribly wrong. He smiles a weak, flickering thing and his eyes are glossy, passing over them as Bonnie's had. Where she is rigid control Kai is barely there, the usual kinetic force that radiates from him gone.
Jo sits beside her brother and almost gets back up at the stench of alcohol surrounding him. "Are you drunk?"
"A little."
"Kai."
"A lot."
"What's wrong?" she asks, leaning closer and Kai looks at her. His smile drips off his face and the drunken gloss over his eyes overflows.
"Everything. You wanna cut the turkey dad? I think I might cut my fingers off if I try," Kai pauses and then giggles and it sets Jo's teeth on edge.
Joshua blinks, not expecting Kai to talk to him so civilly. Jo looks at her despondent brother and nods at her father. They had all been expecting some form of retribution against Joshua but it seems her brother and Bonnie do not have it in them. Ric had even bought a device that nullifies magic for an hour, just as a precaution but it seems it will not be needed. Hopefully.
"If you insist. Everyone help themselves while I carve," Joshua instructs the table and after an awkward pause they begin ladling their plates. Kai watches his father carve the bird, an odd smile tugging his lips and he looks at Bonnie, who is also watching Joshua. Their eyes meet and Kai lifts his brows. Bonnie's lips purse as she snaps out a napkin and hands it to Amelia, ignoring Kai. He looks at his lap, not moving and when Jo nudges him he shrugs.
"Not hungry."
"Okay what's going on?" she asks under her breath. Kai turning down food is always a bad sign but thanksgiving? He has clearly put a lot of effort into this and he usually cannot wait to get started while also feeding off the attention and praise. Now he can't even lift his head.
"Not here," he says quietly, catching her eye and Jo's gut shrinks. Their father moves between them, placing turkey on their plates. He gives Kai a quiet compliment on the meat and her twin smiles and looks like he might burst into tears.
"Thanks dad."
"Oh my god have we moved into the twilight zone?" Ric whispers into her ear and Jo shrugs, not dismissing it. Something is very off and they can all sense it but they stare at their plates as Joshua sits. Kai picks up his utensils, banging them lightly on the table like a child. Christ he is so drunk. Jo exchanges a look of bewilderment with her father, who actually returns it.
"…Should we say what we're thankful for?" Ellie asks and Lucy nods, their blonde hair gleaming in the candlelight.
"Yeah, it's what we do every year. I'm thankful for my family, even the new ones," she quips and there are a few tentative smiles before another tense silence falls.
"Christ this is dreadful. Can we just eat and then Kai can go sleep off whatever is making the island sink?" Eloise injects suddenly and Kai laughs.
"Sure. Actually why don't I just do that now? That okay with you Bon?" he asks suddenly. She says nothing but the candles along the table and walls flares dangerously, threatening to set the autumnal centrepieces alight. Abby grips her hand and the flames shorten as Bonnie calms, breathing deep.
"…What's going on? Why are you acting like this? You've been avoiding each other all day," Lia says, biting the inside of her cheek to stop from crying. Bonnie and Kai look instantly guilty.
"Nothing," they say in unison and their gazes meet and then bounce away again. Ames shakes her head, the meal forgotten.
"No you've been so weird. If – if you had a fight then you should just make up. Today's thanksgiving and we're all here. I wanna say what I'm thankful for," she adds, voice wavering nervously and the adults nod. Bonnie smiles gently.
"Go ahead baby."
"I agree with Ellie, I'm thankful for my family. I know that's strange seeing as we've been parted for a long time and that grandpa hates us but I want you to know that we're not bad people. We're different but we're not – not evil or anything. We don't want to be separated again, we want to stay with our mom and dad. I don't know why you did what you did," she says directly to Joshua, who looks like he wants to dig himself a grave and lie in it. "It was wrong…but I forgive you."
"I don't," Lia says and Ames smacks her thigh under the table. "What? I know you're not a bad person grandpa, I love you and all but well…fuck you," she says and Eloise smiles, sipping on wine. Kai chugs his down like water as Joshua shifts in his seat and then leans over the table to stare at the girls. His eyes are full of regret.
"What I did…I did it for the coven."
"We are the coven. We're your family but you took me away from my mom," Lia says and tears spill slowly down her face. "Why? Because we have expression? We won't hurt anyone with it, we want to learn how to control it."
Joshua nods, staring between them as he inhales deeply. "I care, of course I do and I know you're not evil. You're my grandchildren and I didn't want to hurt you...but I felt I had no other choice, I wanted to protect the family I had left…but I was wrong," he admits. Kai chokes on his wine and Jo and Liv blink in shock.
"Little late for apologies," Bonnie says in a low, deadly voice but Ames shakes her head.
"No it's not. If not now than when? This is the first time we're all together and so we should just like, clear the air or whatever."
"Even if the air is like that?" Liv asks, pointing at the storm raging outside. "Because the food won't be cold by the time that happens, it'll be gone. Come on, eat and then we can sing kumbaya."
Lia snorts and Ames nods, looking down at her plate. She looks guiltily at Kai, who stares at her in a drunken wonder. "Sorry dad, I know you spent a lot of time on this."
"S'okay, guess talking runs in the family."
They smile and the family begin to eat, most waving their hands over the food to reheat it. Kai sits back, watching them but he touches nothing and Bonnie only picks at hers. The next hour they cast furtive glances at each other and look away like it will kill them to stare too long.
The twins talk and laugh with their cousins, Amelia getting to know them, and Jo feels a knot in her stomach loosening at their excitement. She had anticipated carnage but it seems there is a wisdom and hope in the younger generation that skipped them…but then they never really had a chance.
Despite the chatter and the sound of satisfied people finishing desert Kai continues to dull his senses with alcohol, until Jo takes his glass away. He just waves his hand and another bottle appears on the table and he starts drinking directly from it. Ames and Lia are exploring the library with her girls, thankfully missing this debacle.
"Are you trying to give yourself liver failure?"
"Maybe? It's what Bonsai would – would want," he slurs, eyeing his silent and sullen girlfriend at the end of the table. Bonnie lifts her eyes and they pass over him. She has resorted to pretending that he does not exist, which just makes him drink more. He has moved from a weepy sadness to anger. Kai suddenly gets to his feet, unsteady and leans on the table for a moment before he grabs the champagne bottle and weaves his way to the end of the table.
"Kai?" Jo groans, wanting to understand but he just waves the bottle at her, spilling champagne. He moves until he gets to Bonnie's chair and stands behind her. The witch stiffens, not turning or moving as he gazes down at her. His expression flickers from misery to reproach.
"You want me out - out of their lives, right? Not gonna happen…What do you want me to do? Speak to me!" he yells and looks up as Jo stands. He smiles widely but his eyes are devoid of any humour. "I think I've given her a PTSD. Is – is that's what it's called? Or is that a sex disease?" he laughs, swinging the bottle aimlessly. Bonnie gasps.
"What are you talking about?" Jo asks, going to them but Bonnie backs her chair up suddenly, smacking Kai in the chest and he falls against the wall. Bonnie gives him a wretched look and runs from the room, her mother quickly following. Kai watches her go with a despondent satisfaction but it disintegrates under another wave of sadness. Jo is bewildered, she has never seen her brother in such a state, usually because he is very careful not to get this drunk.
"She hates me Josette," he utters softly, his mouth trembling as he slides down the wall to sit on the floor. He stares at the bottle as their father steps into the room. He motions for Jo to leave but she hesitates. Joshua takes her elbow gently.
"I'll get him sobered up. Speak to Bonnie. We can't have him like this, it's not safe," he whispers and Jo nods but she still hesitates. She should look after her brother, she is the only one out of their immediate family he trusts but she steps back. Maybe her father should care for Kai for a change because god knows he never tried before.
"Call me if he passes out."
"S'kay dad, just lay me on my back, s'cool," Kai gives a bleary grin as Jo leaves to find Bonnie. Joshua looks down at his eldest son as he passes out and sighs.
Rain batters against the windows as the girls delve along tall bookcases, a game of hide and seek. The dogs sniff them out, ears pricking at the sound of their names being called, the giggles of familiar voices and scents.
"You found us!" In her blue sequined dress Amelia laughs as the husky barrels into her and Ellie hiding behind a case displaying a large black stone shaped like an egg.
"He thinks you're Lia, look how confused he is," Ellie says as the dog sniffs at Ames, licking her arm before he cocks his head repeatedly, Lia calling softly in the distance. Damon gives a low woof and then dashes away. The smaller pug rounds the corner, huffing and tongue hanging out. Amelia takes pity on Sam and picks the dog up.
"No more running for you, though you need it," she admonishes and she and Ellie walk towards the room with the hanging crystals, the game forgotten. In the dark the stones faintly catch the light but Ames can sense the energy pulsing above her.
"Is thanksgiving always like that?" she asks, hearing her sister speaking from inside the Mirror room. Ellie shrugs, smiling. She and Ames had hit it off quickly, both sharing an affinity for being the more reserved twin.
"Pretty much but I guess this year is different. I had no idea we were under a curse. I didn't know about you, none of us did. It was the same for you?"
"Yup. Though we realised that over the years we had these near misses. Like I went to summer camp and Lia went there another year. So we almost had a Parent Trap re-enactment," she explains, making Ellie laugh as they enter the room, Ames dropping the dog to the floor beforehand. Her cousin gasps, stopping as they step into complete darkness. Ames guides her in.
"We beat you!" Lia proclaims, her aura now mostly purple, but as Amelia comes to her side it shifts to gold.
"Dude…Ellie you're pink! Barbie pink!" Lucy cries as her twin's aura starts to become visible.
"Oh wow! You're a kinda blotchy turquoise."
Both sets of twins crowd around each other and their arms bump and the colours blend, a marbling of many hues. They stare slack jawed at the beauty of it.
"I wanna paint this," Amelia breathes and the others nod.
"Think we can take a picture? Normal people will just think it's shopped," Lucy holds out her cell and the girls pose, their bodies in dark silhouette. Giggling in excitement they sit on the ground and stare at the pictures.
"So pretty…you're lucky you can see this all the time," Ellie bemoans, the light of the phone bathing their faces blue. They appear as colourful ghosts in the kaleidoscopic dark.
"Not as clearly as this. This is next level," Lia says as Lucy flicks through her picture gallery, stopping when they come to a picture of Joshua.
"That was awkward as hell. I overheard grandpa talking to mom a few weeks ago. She was so angry about what he did, casting the curse. He denied it at first," Ellie explains and Lia frowns.
"Denied it? He didn't do it?"
"Apparently he did, with some other Bennett witches, but he can't remember casting it, even after our memories came back."
"Mom thought he was lying, that he did it because grandpa hates uncle Kai," Lucy adds quietly and Lia and Ames lean in.
"Why does he hate him?" Ames asks but Lia shakes her head, looking angry.
"They won't tell you."
"Yes we will! We just can't tell you for some reason! It's not like we know everything," Lucy fires back defensively but Lia purses her mouth. Ames pats Lia's hand, telling her to be quiet.
"What do you know? Try to answer."
"Well…I don't know for sure. It's kinda awkward actually," Lucy says and Ellie nods. They talk to Amelia, focused on her as Lia listens in a sullen silence.
"You know why your dad looks so young right?"
"We think he was in a place like this, where time didn't move."
"He was," Lucy says and the sucks in a shocked breath. "I can tell you. Whatever stops us talking to Lia doesn't work on you. He was in a place like this."
"For eighteen years," Ellie adds gently and Amelia nods, anticipating this. Lia bites her lip, as if wanting to speak but keeps quiet. Whatever usually stops her cousins and the rest of her family discussing this matter seems to be gone but she does not want to jinx it.
"Why for that long? Was he stuck?" Ames asks. Ellie and Lucy look at each other nervously and their auras spike with a grey-green. Amelia leans forward, her voice gentle. "It's okay, tell us. Tell me, if it helps."
Lucy licks her lips. "He wasn't stuck but he was trapped. On purpose. These places were meant to be used as like safe havens originally but if you take the key away…"
"It's a prison," Lia whispers.
"That's what they're called, prison worlds. Uncle Kai was in one, they call it 1994."
"Kinda like a cell number," Ellie adds and they fall silent. Lia and Ames process this new information, shifting the pieces of old information they have to match the new. Both had danced around with the possibility that their father may have been locked up for a crime but then dismissed it. If he was a criminal they would have told them in the month they have been together, not to mention the years that Lia has lived under the same roof as him.
"It doesn't make sense. Why was he imprisoned?"
Lucy and Ellie shrug, the sickly green in their aura fading and now bleeding into the other girls. "We're not sure, only that it was something bad and grandpa and aunt Liv have never really trusted him since. Our mom says he deserves a chance, that he's been punished."
"…I don't believe it," Lia says bluntly and gets to her feet. "There's no way he did anything that justified being locked up for two decades."
"We don't know the facts, this is just what we've overheard. They don't tell us anything, saying we're too young to know. I wish we could have said something but this is the first time we've been psychically able to talk about this in front of you. Maybe this place helps in some way?" Ellie suggest as Ames gets to her feet. She moves to her twin, who stands with her back to them, arms crossed tightly over her chest. Her aura flashes with a blood red and streaks of grey. Anger and fear.
"There's clearly a lot that we don't know but if this is true…we gotta sit down with mom and dad and talk about it."
Her voice is soft, reasoning but Lia shakes her head and turns teary eyes to her sister. "Maybe I don't wanna know. They're right, no one has been able to talk about it, like someone put a spell on them. They can't tell me directly…but they can tell you."
"So?"
"So maybe dad put a spell on me?" she asks in a wavering voice. Ames pulls her into her arms, their auras flaring and merging.
"Right now we don't know enough and our imaginations are filling in the gaps. I don't think dad did anything that bad, he couldn't but if he has put a spell on you…then it must be something he's ashamed of."
"He doesn't know what the word means," Lia retorts with a weak smile and looks back at their cousins, who stand awkwardly. "Sorry, I wasn't calling you liars."
The blondes wave their hands and shrug, the colours around them flashing and pulsing. As Ellie opens her mouth to joke, her mouth stretching into a grin, she freezes. Her eyes fix on a spot in the corner of the room.
"There…there's only the four of us in here right?"
"Yeah?"
"Then who's that?" she points and the girls turn to see a faint bloom of forest green spreading over a corner of the room. The aura flashes and in the centre they see a dark shape hunched over, still and misshapen. It suddenly lifts a dark head and the girls scream and race for the exit. As they swing down the spiral stairs their screams are mixed with laughter, accusing each other of illusions and trickery, as the husky chases them into the parlour.
"Drink this," Liv waves a glass of bourbon before Bonnie's face, who takes it. She sits in the parlour with her mother, Liv and Jo. A fire flickers behind a grate and heavy rain falls outside. The girls are still exploring the library and she hopes they are having fun. She looks down at the golden liquid and grimaces.
"I think alcohol will make it worse."
"Got a baggie if you want instead?" Jo asks innocently and manages to get the first smile out of the Bennett witch since she ran from the table. Since the nightmare her emotions have been swinging from one extreme to another and the sight of Kai…
"I might take you up on that later," Bonnie gulps down the bourbon, her hands shaking as heat burns down her throat.
"What happened? Did you have a fight?"
Bonnie shakes her head, fingers gripping the glass. "Not - not really. This is…this is tough. I don't know how to talk about it, especially with you."
"Why especially us?" Liv asks, sitting on the arm of Jo's chair. Bonnie stares at her, thinking suddenly that she had been the first Parker she had ever met. She had been lying to Bonnie, and liked to flirt with her then boyfriend a little too much, but they had become friends. Her meeting this family had never been chance...
"I've been having these nightmares, only they weren't mine. Kai unknowingly transferred them to me."
"Huh, you're not meant to have nightmares here," Jo says as Ric enters the room but then turns on his heel after his wife gives him a quick signal. Girl talk, scram.
"I know but they've been happening. Last night I blocked my mind and entered his, trying to stop them. They've – they've been about the 1994 prison world, what he did to me…" she explains and they nod in silent understanding. Bonnie lowers the empty glass and grasps her mother's hand. "Last night was different. I was able to stop him but then I – I got sucked into his nightmare, his memory...I saw May 9th."
Jo's eyebrows lift. "Like…saw it?"
Bonnie nods, inhaling. "You wanted to leave, to run away but he – he threatened you. He bashed your head against the wall," she says in a shaking voice and Jo lifts a hand towards her head before she lowers it and curls it into a fist. She nods.
"All of us knew that we weren't going to merge but Kai. I had this fantasy life planned out and it was the antithesis of being a witch...I had this boyfriend at the time, thought I was madly in love and wanted to elope."
"Nathan," Bonnie supplies and Jo nods, smiling faintly. "Kai beat him up."
"He did, badly. Nate still walks with a limp. He's a mechanic now…He was kind of a bad boy, really handsome…but reckless. Actually he was a little like Damon," Jo realises and laughs. "Don't tell Ric that…Anyway one night we went for a drive, we were both really high. We crashed and I broke my leg, had a bad concussion but he got out okay. I suppose I could have died…Kai snapped, tracked him down and just beat the shit out of him. He pushed him and Nate fell funny, cracked a vertebra. Pretty sure that was the first fight Kai ever had," she adds with a snort, her gaze far away.
"Kai threatened you," Bonnie says softly, pulling Jo away from her memories. Kai's twin nods, growing sober.
"I think he cared about me in his own way but I was the other piece to his puzzle. Without me he couldn't merge and if anyone got in the way of that happening…"
"He goes Michael Myers on your ass," Liv finishes. She gets up to pour herself a drink, sighing. "He completely lost it that night, he wasn't like that before, from what I remember. My memory is a little spotty."
"Trauma, it leaves gaps in your recollection," Jo adds and Liv cocks an eyebrow and swigs from a beer bottle. Lightening flickers outside, night now fallen. Jo takes a beer from her sister and looks at Bonnie with sympathy. "You saw everything?"
"Just about…I can't get it out of my head. I knew what he did, I've known for so long but really seeing their faces, hearing their voices…it hurts." That truthfully has been the the most upsetting thing. Before they had been faceless, almost mythical, but now she has seen them they are no longer unknown.
Jo smiles sadly. "You heard them? I'm kinda jealous. I – I try to remember as much as I can, the sound of Lucille singing, Joey laughing that stupid laugh." Liv makes a sudden honking noise and they laugh loudly until they are both breathless. Sighing, tears in her eyes, Jo looks at the portraits on the walls. "Elliot's eyes…Eleanor and her bee obsession," she laughs again but her smile wavers. "They're fading away."
Bonnie takes her hand, looking between the two sisters. "I'm sorry, I really am. They – they were all beautiful…and he killed them," she bares her teeth, trying to reign in her disappointment and sadness. "You-you saw what he did. How did you forgive him? How did you trust him ever again?"
Liv and Jo look at each other and the blonde shrugs and tips the bottle to Jo. "Think you better answer this one. She probably wants reassurance."
"No, I just want the truth."
Jo inhales and looks back at Bonnie. She lean forward, her startling blue eyes intense. "I spent a long time hating him, fearing him. Any mention of his name made me run a mile, scared of my own brother. I was screwed up after that, I mean we all were…but your grams helped me so much," she says with warmth and Bonnie feels it igniting in her chest. "She helped me start a new life by trying to let go of my old one. Obviously that doesn't stop ghosts from your past making visits, or twins from prison worlds," Jo takes a drink before continuing. "I hated him, I hated that even after all that time he still only cared about himself, about leadership. I was just a means to an end, like everyone he could use to achieve his goal. He got it but then everything changed."
"I don't think Kai ever anticipated gaining emotions, to feel things as deeply as Luke did. My brother's revenge," Liv says with a smirk and solutes her beer in the air to her dead twin. "The friggen irony of it, he killed for the thing that pretty much made him decide not to become leader. He chose family over coven."
"And you're okay with that? After what he did to your family?" Bonnie asks and Liv shrugs again and Bonnie can guess what her answer would be. Jo smiles, head cocking.
"I do trust him but it took a long time to get to this point. He was so...so hopeless and alone and a part of me wanted to get up and walk away, leave him to suffer but I couldn't. He wasn't the Kai I had been running from. He was and is fundamentally different. I mean he's still a headcase," she adds, making Liv smirk. "Kai…he was treated like shit for years, I ignored it which pretty much amounts to the same emotional abuse. He thought his life was worthless and any sense of hope was the merge. I think he was hoping that if he became a fully-fledged witch then no one would treat him like that again. I'm not justifying what he did, he killed half of my family in a single night and I'll probably never see them again but I suppose I have the luxury of distance. Perspective, I guess. This is all fresh and raw for you, like it happened last night...but it's been over thirty years for me. I made my peace with him."
"I know it was a long time ago, I didn't want to dredge this up for you," Bonnie says thickly and Jo pulls Bonnie to her feet and hugs her.
"I think it needs dredging. I wish I could forget that night but I don't want to forget them. Kai is so scared and so guilty about what he did that he's terrified that he'll lose you and the twins. That's why he put a spell on the coven not to mention what happened. It's not right and he has to do something before we forget them completely. I understand why he was a mess at dinner, for him it's been a long time but for you it must have been awful. He's upset that you're hurting."
"He's upset that I'll leave him, not that I'm a wreck," Bonnie retorts tiredly. Jo nods.
"Yep, he's probably feeling that too. Look he's not a saint or anything close to it. He's still fucked up and no we're never going to be a happy family but we're trying, he's trying. I pretty much gave up on him long before 1994 and it haunts me what could have been different if I had stood up for him...or if I had just merged with him when we were meant to. They might still be alive," her voice wavers and Bonnie can tell this guilt is a deep seated thing and has grown in the dark for many years.
"It wasn't your fault. He was messed up in the head, a sociopath," Liv says defensively.
"I know…but if we merged on our birthday things would have been different, that's a fact. If he had help, real help, then maybe..." she trails off, lost in a hypothetical past.
"He's a Parker, there's no medication or therapy on this planet or any other that can help us," Liv jokes and Jo laughs.
"Must be why I'm on my tenth shrink."
Bonnie smirks at their dark humour and sighs, feeling some of her tension draining. "Maybe talking to a professional wouldn't be a bad thing…thank you for talking about what happened."
Jo takes her hand, nodding. "It still hurts but I have such a great life now and I'm not sorry for that. I never thought I'd be married, with twins and I never dreamed Kai would be part of that. He is and it works…I can't tell you what to do, it's your relationship and life but I know he loves you and those girls. He's still a mess and you know he'll continue to be one but he'll also work hard to make it right."
"I know…it's tough. I can't breathe when he's close. I wish I could just shake it off like it was just a bad nightmare but it's not. It was decades ago but I can't get the images out of my mind. I used to say it wasn't for me to forgive, he hurt his family not mine but well…"
"You're our family now," Liv says with a soft smile. "To think all those years ago at Whitmore I was meeting my future sister in law."
"Stop," Jo warns with a croaked smile as Bonnie's stomach flips over. The blonde grins, clearly drunk and slinks out of the room, hugging the black cat to her chest. Jo sighs and she and Bonnie sit. "So…what are you going to do?"
"I need time to think."
"Well lucky for you you've got plenty of it."
"That's the problem. I think I need space but we've just got back together."
"There's like a hundred rooms in this place, I'm sure Kai will understand," Jo says and Bonnie nods but is not convinced. He might give her space for her to sort through her emotions but she feels the separation will unravel him. She does not want to be the thing that saves him when right now she does not know if she can keep herself together.
Jo sees the unease on her face and cocks her head. "For nine years he thought you were dead. He was devastated, especially those early years but he kept on going. He was mourning but he lived his life, worked and had a weird little social life. I asked him to go on dates and he did it but his heart wasn't in it. You know what he told me once on the anniversary of your birthday?" she asks and Bonnie shakes her head. Jo leans forward, her lips curving. "He said that though you were dead he would wait until the heat death of the universe if it meant seeing you one last time. You mean everything to him Bonnie but I think that love is not an explosive thing you know? It won't fizzle and die just because you're not together or the opposite. It will endure."
Bonnie says nothing for a moment, taking her words in until her throat starts to tighten. "He's patient, always had been."
"Right. He'll stick with you but it's your decision either way...don't ever tell him I said this, he'll be insufferable," Jo warns and Bonnie smiles. They sit back, watching the fire before Jo regards her thoughtfully. "What are your plans?"
"My plans?" Bonnie blows air out through her mouth, tapping her nails on the armrests. She focuses on the life she had left behind in Mystic Falls and feels a pang of loss. "I was teaching at Whitmore. It was because of the curse but…I loved it."
"Well there's plenty of lecturing jobs in Oregon, if you're interested. Ric could help you out," Jo suggests, getting to her feet. "I know this sucks right now but things will be better, Bonnie. Jobs and homes and everything will come, without or without my brother. One thing at a time."
Bonnie nods, feeling a tingle of hope. "Once the curse is broken."
"Yeah my dad is working overtime on that. I didn't even need to threaten him."
"He's trying to break it?" Bonnie sits up, surprised. "He doesn't want to split us up?"
"No…if you thought that then why even invite him here?" Jo asks and Bonnie sighs and gets to her feet.
"So we could curse him."
Joshua fiddles with the ring in his finger, watching Kai as he moans, waking up from his drunken stupor. He had half carried his son into the conservatory, deposing him on a couch. Joshua sits in an armchair, watching the storm battering the island through the glass.
"Ugh…I'm still alive and drunk," Kai mumbles, lifting his head off the cushion. He sees the glass of mint tea that Joshua has made and sits up, hand to his head. "Thanks…" he sips it, wincing as Joshua watches him calmly.
"Your power has sway over the island. If you're…unbalanced nature reflects it," he says as thunder rumbles. Kai snorts.
"Unbalanced is a word for it. How long have I been asleep?"
"Over an hour."
"Aww were you making sure I didn't choke to death?" he grins but his father remains impassive. He leans forward, fingers threaded together.
"You know your survival is my primary concern."
"Yeah your concern is noted. That's why you want me to stay in here right?"
"Your…well being affects us all. Gemini coven leaders are expected to have a certain even temperament. To be emotionally balanced, not become overwhelmed by them. You know the dangers when leaders are not in control."
Kai laughs, nodding. "Great-great-great whatever Jacob Parker. Paranoid Schizophrenic, depressed and suicidal. Stuck him in a coma for seventy years."
"He accepted it, he knew it was in the best interest of the coven."
"And I don't get a say? Pretty sure I'm a little bit more mentally stable then he was," he glares at his father who just regards him with the same calm. Kai finds it infuriating. "You're not trapping me here, or my family."
"Your family is free to go."
"Not with the curse they're not."
"I'm working on how to lift it," he says and then gets to his feet. Kai is momentarily speechless, his fuzzy brain breaking down his words slowly.
"You're trying to undo it?"
"Trying, yes."
"Tell me how?" Kai demands, trying to stand but his head swims. He sits, lowering the glass and rubs at his forehead.
"If I don't?"
"You've got until sunrise," Kai sing songs and laughs, making Joshua turn. He had hoped to see alarm on his face, quickly concealed but some sign that he has spooked his father. Joshua cocks his head and lifts up his right hand.
"A threefold ring."
"Fuck," Kai stares at the black ring on Joshua's index finger, a ring comprised of three linked bands made from obsidian. The ring absorbs any curse and sends it back to the caster three times as powerful. Kai's stomach turns over. "Give it to me."
"I knew you'd try something but it was only when I touched the carving knife the ring activated. What curse is it?" he asks curiously, ignoring Kai's outstretched hand.
"…Sleeping curse. We – we weren't sure what to do with you, nothing seemed appropriately fucked up enough so we were just gonna stick you in one the rooms until we hit on something."
"Bonnie was involved?"
"She cursed the carving knife, before this fucked situation happened. The threefold curse will target her, not me. Give me the ring or I will cut your hand off."
He wags his fingers, deadly serious and after a pause Joshua takes it off and drops it onto Kai's palm. He immediately starts siphoning the magic from it, until every last dreg of the curse is drained from the bands. He sighs, gripping the now harmless ring in his hand. Joshua sits back down, watching as Liv enters the kitchen and ladles leftovers onto her plate, the cat at her feet. He turns his attention back to Kai, who has slipped on the ring. He reaches for the hangover cure and downs it in three gulps. Lightening flickers, illuminating the conservatory in a brilliant blue light for a moment.
"What happened?" his father asks, like the last minute had not happened. Kai sighs, sitting back. He shrugs.
"She was having my nightmares, seeing my memories. She saw what I did on that night and now she can't even look at me."
Joshua lifts his eyebrows, making a noise of confirmation. "And now you think she'll go and leave you alone in this place?"
"I was without her for nine years and I didn't crack."
"You thought she was dead. You weren't alone in Astoria and you weren't in a prison world. This time it's different."
"I feel like shit but the coven is safe okay? This is my fuck up and I can't – I can't blame it on you, on a curse. This is my fault…but I don't wanna be alone, I literally won't survive it. If I'm in here with no one…" he shakes his head, eyes dry and hollow. "I killed myself so many times in that place I lost count. I did it because I was bored, mostly, but the real reason was because I literally started to believe I didn't exist. If I didn't exist then I couldn't live or die. So I tested it, over and over and over. If you don't have anyone else to talk to, to see and touch, then you start to question whether you're real. I stopped believing I was until I saw her. She was the first face I saw after eighteen years, that beautiful face…It was too good you know? But she – she was real, she was so real and that meant I was too. Bonnie saved what was left of myself and I knew, even then, that she was important to me. I didn't know how much until later but it was different from wanting to merge and win. I wanted a life because I actually had one and I wanted her in it."
He speaks without interruption, not looking at his father until he forgets he is there. He tries to hold onto that old feeling of intense self actualisation when he saw and heard and smelt Bonnie for the first time. He stops talking, his mouth curved into a sad smile and Joshua finds it difficult to look away from his son's face. Kai loves Bonnie Bennett, that is clear but there is a desperation about that love, an echo of a desire he had seen on Kai's face before.
"If you were free to leave this place but she left, took your children, what would you do?"
Panic fills Kai's eyes and thunder claps overhead, prompting his abrupt answer. "Stop them."
"To what end?"
Kai opens his mouth to answer but finds he does not have one. He shakes his head, inhales a calming breath and narrows his eyes. "To no end. Unlike you I won't trap a woman who wants out." Kai says and Joshua gets to his feet. Kai smiles before dropping it. "I'll fight for them but I know this…this needs time. I never wanted her to experience that, she wasn't ready."
"Lucky her…" Joshua looks at the orchids that bloom in the heat, back to him. Kai balls up his hands, trying to squeeze his rage away. It's remarkable that he has not cracked the room corner to corner.
"I don't want to cause my family anymore pain after what I did…and that includes you, believe it or not," he watches his father carefully for his reaction as he stills but does not turn. "You have every right not to forgive me, to hate me and I just have to deal with that. I hated you for what you did to me but I never retaliated until you split us up," he says, looking at the new ring on his hand. "I get your anger, if it had been my kids I'd burn the whole world alive if it meant those who were responsible suffered. Or lock them up for an eternity of loneliness…" he adds with a dry smile and Joshua finally turns, shaking his head.
"I never intended for you to stay imprisoned forever. You were meant to carry out a sentence that reflected every life you took."
"Four life sentences?"
"Fifty eight years," Joshua explains softly and Kai stops breathing, trying to contemplate it. If Bonnie and Damon had never appeared he would still be in that prison world. The length of isolated captivity is so terrible that he laughs.
"I'd be a basket case by the time some Bennett witch came to get me out. Christ, it would probably be Bonnie, she'd be an old lady…Almost sixty years?!"
"I was devastated. I failed to protect my family so I had to protect what I had left. You think I don't wish I could go back and make things right? Make them different?"
"You probably wish you had drowned me as a baby like they used to do with siphoners in the old days," Kai fires back. Joshua shakes his head, his calm disintegrating.
"You think I blame you solely for what happened? After that night I had no one, no family or life. I was in that big house without even their ghosts for company…If I had put my family first instead of the coven Joey, Elliot, Lucille and Eleanor would be here now."
"…You don't know that."
"I do…but I can't change what happened, as you can't. I can only make it right now. Like you. I'm sorry for separating your children from you, I know the pain of that and no one should have to suffer it."
Kai looks at his father who has never cared about him, who has never comforted him or been a father and watches him cry. Kai feels his throat tighten. He wants to reach out, to touch him but does not know how. He inhales deeply, looking away as emotions overwhelm him.
"I'm sorry for erasing their pictures. I'll undo it."
"Tell your children about them Kai. Even if it hurts, and it will, but better do it now before the consequences of your silence are too far gone for you to salvage."
Kai shakes his head, biting the inside of his cheek as he looks back. His father is dry eyed but shaking. "How can I tell them?"
Joshua shrugs, straightening his jacket. He looks aside, as Kai does. "I don't know…but talk to Bonnie, work it out before it's too late. Your grandmother is right, you'll wash the house into the sea if you let this go unspoken."
He gives Kai a lingering stare, nodding and then leaves him to sit weakly. Before he reaches the door Kai speaks up.
"The curse. How will you break it?"
"...I'm not sure. I don't - I don't remember casting it."
"What?"
"I wanted to separate them, it's true but I only considered a curse after I spoke to that man."
"What man?"
Joshua tries to remember the encounter but it feels as insubstantial as a dream. "I don't know. I just have a name and a memory of him walking away. He called himself Tom Avery."
Drunk and emotional Kai tries to sift through his recollection but the name does not appear. "Never heard of him. He was a witch?"
"Yes...and a very powerful one. I do not think I was in control that day, I don't think any of us were," Joshua explains softly and anger laces his words, self directed. Joshua Parker, the once great coven leader, had been played. He leaves this information for Kai to obsess over. The true Gemini leader watches the storm, seeing his mind and emotions reflected back at him. He closes his eyes, leaning his head back and tries to stop the commotion raging…
The girls race into the parlour, screaming and giggling and Bonnie jumps to her feet at once. Both sets of twins gasp for breath, all speaking over each other.
"There was a monster!"
"No it was a man! A man shape!"
"I still think it was a trick!"
"It wasn't an illusion!"
"Then it was mass hallucination, like in Salem. They were trippin," Ames says and Bonnie finally manages to get a word in as Kai walks over. He looks at the girls in concern and only gives her a quick glance as Liv appears.
"What's up?" she asks.
"We saw someone in the mirror room. Someone sitting on the floor," Ellie explains breathlessly.
"Uh-oh. Must be the ghost that haunts the library," Liv whispers and the girls gasp and deny it.
"There's no Other Side anymore! There's no ghosts!"
"This is a snow globe made in 1964. Maybe some souls got trapped?" Kai says and the girls continue to stare wide eyed, shocked silent. Kai grins. Fighting the need to smack him Bonnie moves towards the library.
"Stay here," she tells the girls, who nod and crowd around Jo, Ric and Eloise, who appear. Kai hesitates for a moment and then follows Bonnie. She had not spoken to him since the nightmare, though he had tried to that morning. After he would not leave she had wanted to slam the door in his face with magic but it is still blocked. She had done it the old fashioned way and he had left. Now he follows at a distance, keeping quiet.
Bonnie reaches the staircase and turns to him. "You don't have to come."
"I want to. I wasn't completely shitting them. There are stories of a ghost haunting the house. They say he got lost and was never found again. I hope it's him," he says, excited and Bonnie frowns but says nothing. There is an almost giddy quality to him, as if the alcohol has had the opposite effect. His acute distress is gone. After her talk with Jo she had come to the decision that it would be wise to at least acknowledge him, to grow comfortable in his presence again. The nightmare is an old memory, one they have lived with for a very long time and now she must. However it does not stop her wishing the whole ordeal had never happened, that she could carry on living without the horror images now smearing her brain.
"Are you going to pretend I'm not here?" he asks suddenly as they reach the mirror room. His voice is cold and Bonnie turns, anger flaring.
"Can you blame me?! I wasn't prepared for what I saw, for what you did. You scared me."
"I know…but that's not who I am now. Come on Bon, we've overcome so much to have this ruin it. You knew who I was, what I did and I'm sorry that it upset you but it doesn't change the fact that we love each other…does it?" he asks, narrowing his eyes but Bonnie turns and enters the dark mirror room. Her stomach jumps strangely and she realises that she is frightened.
"You're being strange."
"I'm a Gemini," he quips behind her as her aura flares alive slowly, orange flickering weakly through bold streaks of green and grey. Kai's, as before, is dark, taking longer to appear in the mirror. Bonnie ignores him and looks around the room as her eyes become accustomed to the dark.
"…See anything?"
"Nope…wait, what's that?" he asks and Bonnie sees a small dark shape in the corner of the room. She freezes and fear ripples over her aura. She hears Kai chuckle before he moves over and crouches down.
"I don't think dogs have auras."
"Samson," Bonnie breathes out a sigh of relief, laughing as Kai pokes the dog and the pug takes a fright and races from the room. Bonnie, her aura settling to its usual orange, grins. "The ghost dog of the Lighthouse."
"Fearsome guard of the Gemini leader and serfs."
"Serfs?" Bonnie watches his dark figure approach and tries not to step back as he comes within a few inches of her face. He does not touch her but she can feel the heat of his proximity. And his magic, an ocean compared to her now. She had made the candle flames flare at dinner but it had been unintentional. Her magic still feels walled off.
"Loyal and not so loyal followers. You know I have every intention of taking the title back from my father. You and the girls will live like royalty here."
"I'm not even sure I want to live here, let alone with a king," Bonnie admits, the darkness giving her a sense of bravery. Kai cocks his head and she has the impression that he is sticking his bottom lip out.
"Too bad…you know you're free to leave, I won't stop you."
"You won't?"
"I'd even help you pack. That's what you want right? I know you love me and everything but there's a little room in the back of your head, a room in 1994, that still fears me…with good reason. You're not entirely sure if the merge really cured my craziness or not. You wonder if one good push could send me over the edge to snapsville again. You wonder if your kids are better off away from me and these crazy Gemini. You would be, we both know it. I think the nightmares were my subconscious telling me. History repeats, right?"
Bonnie breathes in shallow gulps, her anger freezing into fear. His aura, which should be a dark blue rippling with colour, is an opaque green so dark it is almost black. She had not noticed at first, his dark aura always takes time to materialise. But gold strands do not appear, the links to the coven members gone.
This is not Kai.
The thought whispers over her mind and it stills the storm raging inside her. Grey cracks through her own aura no matter how hard to tries to mask her fear. She holds her breath and takes a step back but he grabs her arm.
"Who are you?" she gasps and he cocks his head, Kai's features visible but bathed green.
"The guy who left you alone and drove you to the point of ending your own life?"
"The man who risked his life to save mine," Bonnie answers harshly, twisting in his grip but he does not let go. "You're not Kai!"
"Yeah…the ghost wasn't Samson the pug either," he answers and the voice is familiar but not Kai's. He smiles and Bonnie looks at his reflection as it ripples and changes. Green eyes peer at her and she yells, struggling to get free.
"Silas!"
"Bingo. God it feels good to be seen. I've been squatting here for three years, waiting," the man who looks identical to Stefan says. He grins and pulls her in close and she flinches. "Huh, something wrong with my face?"
"How – how are you here?!"
"Oh after you and your boyfriend trapped me in 1994? Well as you're aware for every spell there's a loophole. Every time the Gemini leader dies another hole is ripped into the prison worlds. I guess Kai died three years ago because suddenly I could move."
"You – you still need Bennett blood to get out."
"You're not very perceptive are you? I remember that from before…I'm still in a prison world but after he died gaps appeared in every dimension. I can move from one to another without the use of an ascendant. That's how I got out of hell, so I'm thankful to Kai for that, in a misplaced sort of way," he sighs and the power cursing through the two thousand year old witch is immense. How had she not felt him? How had Kai? Bonnie tugs her arm free but slams into his chest as she reaches the door. He laughs and pulls her upright.
"What do you want?!"
"Hmm? Oh nothing really. I wish I could say I have some big diabolical plan but I just wanna make you suffer, nothing else," he explains and Bonnie feels a tipping sensation as the words are familiar but she cannot place them. Silas lifts his hand and she tries to move but her body is frozen and her throat bulges with trapped cries for help. He places a finger to her lips and she gasps for air.
"Don't touch me."
"Trust me I have no desire to, especially as your kinda my descendent. Even being in the same room with you two was torture. You're like horny billy goats. It's gross."
Bonnie's eyes widen in understanding even as she flames with humiliation. "You – you gave me those nightmares. Why?"
"I told you. You ruined my afterlife so I'm just paying you back in kind. I thought about killing you and dragging you back into oblivion with me but it didn't seem sufficient. Your grandmother says hi by the way."
"W-what?"
"Oh you didn't think she moved onto some comfy afterlife did you? She was meant to go to 1994 when the other side collapsed but she traded it for you. Nope, she's in the dark. She might be able to crawl her way out, like I did, if that helps?" he asks with mock concern. Bonnie shakes her head, eyes closed tight.
"I'm not - I'm not listening to you."
"You don't need to believe me. You'll experience that emotional torture for yourselves one day. Though Kai will have it much worse...but before that can happen I have to give you something juicy to take with you. I'm gonna burn your life down to nothing by the end."
Bonnie's eyes fly open, the pieces clicking together. "Did you create the curse?"
"Oh…maybe? There's time travel involved so yeah, maybe it was…or will be," he hums in consideration, pacing back and forth. "I could wait until your kids are old enough to merge and then go back in time with the winner. Get her killed by her own father and make Joshua Parker cast the curse, with help from your family," as he talks he becomes more animated, excited by the idea. Bonnie feels like she will be sick, why did she even voice the idea?
"Please…"
"What?" he snaps and grins. "Show mercy? Bygones? Do you have any idea what oblivion is like? The Other Side, the prison worlds, are Elysium in comparison. So I guess I do have a little amendment to this plan: fuck your life up and make sure I never go back to that hellhole."
"You're - you're mortal, you'll die one day."
Silas smiles, moving closer to her, his anger gone. "I was dead but as soon as I passed over into 1994 I was inexplicably alive. Weird huh but I figured it out. You had the same thing happen to you and Damon. Wanna know how you came back to the retro land of the living?" he smiles, toying with her and lifts his hand to caress her face. Bonnie snaps her head back but he grabs her still.
"Get off me you freak."
"You really don't like this face do you? Or rather you like it too much. Hmm…is this better?" he asks and shifts back to Kai. Bonnie closes her eyes as he leans close, his lips hovering over hers. "Or maybe this one? I liked this one," a soothing voice says and it is not Silas, or Kai's voice that has made her stomach turn to ice as it does now.
"Not him."
"Come on, he had that whole sexy-creepy professor thing going on. I know you dug it," he says and Bonnie opens her eyes. Atticus Shane smiles at her, his wide set green eyes peering at her with that almost hypnotic regard.
"Fuck you! Fuck you!" Bonnie breathes heavily, fighting to run and Silas laughs, leaning back.
"Oh definitely sticking with this face. Okay witch this is how it's going to play out. I'm going to let you go and once I'm out of your sight you're going to forget all about this. I'll give Papa Parker a little nudge and he'll break the curse and you'll be free. I'll leave you in peace for a few years…but once they're of age I'm coming for one of your daughters. Like a reverse Rumpelstiltskin, only I don't want gold."
"If you dare oblivion will be nothing to what I'll do to you."
"Well if this whole time loop thing is true then it looks like you fail so whatever."
"Then where are you?! Amelia - she came back from the future but where are you?" Silas stops smiling and his eyes narrow. Bonnie gives him a sharp smile. "I will kill you. I'll take you down even if it kills me."
Silas is still before he smirks. "Okay, on second thought you are going to remember something: Kai telling you to pack your things, it's not worth it because you both know one day he'll just ruin your life. You're better off without him. Leave. In this case maybe the coven should come first and you second. Yeah, chew on that for a few hours, walk on it," his words seep into her mind, hearing Kai's voice, seeing his face and she forgets who is truly speaking. Silas smiles and disappears suddenly. The paralysis over Bonnie snaps and she reels, drawing on magic that will not answer to her need. Bonnie cries out and runs from the room.
In the dark of the library she chases Silas, catching sight of him between bookcases and tables, always out of reach. He flickers in and out of shadows, making her turn in dizzying circles, clawing at magic inside her that will not respond. If she loses him she will forget and there will be nothing to stop him quietly destroying her life.
"No!" she yells, reaching out her hand and her fingers catch at the back of Kai's shirt. He turns sharply and she stumbles, hitting a wall.
"Bonnie?"
"…Kai?" she frowns, heart pounding against her ribs and seeing the concern in his eyes she acts without thinking. He catches her in his arms, pulling her in tight.
"Why are you still here?" he asks and Bonnie freezes. He pulls back, concern shifting into confusion. "You said you'd be gone before morning."
"I…You want me to go?"
"Obviously," his lips curl and Bonnie jerks back, confusion blasting away. He grabs her arm and his face morphs into that of Shane, his gimlet green eyes glowing in the half light. "I'm the most powerful witch on this planet, or any planet, I can toy with your mind in my sleep Bonnie."
"Kai!" she shouts, fingers digging into Silas' arm, wishing she could pin him to the ground. She needs help, she needs Kai and her family. Silas pouts, cocking his head.
"He can't hear you. You know why? Cause all this is happening in your head," he taps her temple and fades away into nothing. Bonnie unbalances and hits the wall as her mind goes dark, all thought and memory sucked into a void. She watches a figure running away from her and the last thought she has before she blacks out is that this nightmare is real and the running man was never Kai.
As soft morning light spills along a long, unfamiliar corridor Bonnie comes to her senses and stops. Her legs ache and her bare feet are cold. She is still in her thanksgiving dress. Her stomach rumbles in the quiet of the wing, her throat dry with thirst.
"I didn't eat anything…" she mutters, staring at her shadow on the wall and tries to remember why she is alone and why she feels so exhausted. She had fought with Kai, he had told her to leave, she was better off without him and he had to focus on the coven. She is a distraction…
"She can't have just vanished," a familiar voice says from far away and Bonnie looks up to see Kai and her mother appearing at the end of the corridor. When they see her Kai stiffens while Abby deflates with relief.
"Thank god. Where have you been?" Abby asks but Bonnie ignores her, eyeing Kai warily as he quickly comes forward. He still wears his rumpled suit from the meal but her mother is in a dressing robe. Bonnie looks at the sunlight spilling over her body and lifts a hand to her forehead.
"What time is it?"
"The sun just rose. Bon…where have you been?" Kai asks gently, a few feet away and Bonnie backs up, her heart racing.
"Don't…" she warns and he stills, jaw clenching. His hair is a mess, his eyes red raw and her mother looks just as tired. Kai's harsh words, to go before he ruined her life, rings her mind, along with the hazy memory of him flinging her clothes into a suitcase. Even drunk how could he do such a thing? Bonnie bites the inside of her cheek, upset and confused.
"We couldn't find you. We searched everywhere but it was like you had disappeared," Abby says, moving closer and Bonnie instantly leans against her.
"I – I was looking for someone."
"Who?" Kai asks softly but Bonnie shakes her head, confused and scared, which just makes her angry. Why can't she remember?
"I – I must have been sleep walking."
"The whole night? I couldn't locate you at all, like you were cloaked from me. I – I thought you had left," Kai says and Bonnie snaps her eyes to his.
"I don't know why you look upset," she says and brushes past him. He touches her shoulder, unable to stop himself and she tugs herself forward and almost falls. She is exhausted, her muscles stiff and weak. Has she really been walking - running - around for hours on end without stopping? She leans against the wall, head spinning. She feels like she is having a hypo.
"She hasn't slept, she's exhausted," she hears Abby whisper and she nods, desperately wanting to rationalise what she cannot explain. She hears a clattering of feet and two sets of twins appear, looking wide eyed and wearing pyjamas.
"Mom!" Amelia yells, coming forward with Lia, their cousins hanging back. "Where the heck have you been?"
"We thought you were taking the hide and seek game to extremes!"
"You definitely won," Lia says, smiling but she touches her mother to reassure herself that she is there. They must have been worried that she left without a word. A clamp grips her chest and Bonnie fights not to cry. Bewildered and unable to think straight, Abby comes to the rescue and ushers the girls away, after they hug and kiss Bonnie good morning. Now alone with Kai she remains by the wall, eyes closed. Her head thumps and her legs shake so when she feels his fingertips on her shoulder she does not pull away.
"There's a bedroom through there," he says quietly and she nods and lets him steer her towards the door and into the room. So tired she takes in no detail but crawls into the bed, her stiff limbs protesting at first but then her body becomes infused with a thick heaviness and she sinks into the mattress. Kai brushes a curl of hair away from her cheek and she makes a grumbling noise before sleep claims her.
"You're okay, you're here…" he sighs and collapses into an armchair by the bed, staring into space before placing his hands over his face.