Chapter Twenty-Five

Pushing my crazy realizations to the side I made a call that was as necessary as it was unpleasant.

"This is Sheriff Northman" I barked at the Queens secretary. I wasn't even going to pretend to be polite. She was used to it at this point anyway.

"Please hold Sheriff."

"May I speak freely for a moment?" I asked, after the series of clicks stopped.

"Of course Eric," Sophie-Anne said. "I hold you in the highest esteem I will hear you always."

"This is bullshit" I growled "And you know it. He wants nothing but to remain with the people who love him. That is his purpose in my area."

"Be that as it may, my position still remains the same."

This too had been the norm and it was infuriating. All throughout negotiations she would listen to my reasoning and then at the end of it she would reinstate her position. It was like bashing my head against a brick wall, a falsely understanding one. Her voice was sweet and comforting too, as if she was my fucking therapist and not the object of my vast ire.

I bit back a growl. Giving her an ultimatum was on the tip of my tongue but I had already told Godric I would do it his way.

"Three days only," I stated. "Her Majesty will provide cars, guards, a secure abode separate from the royal court that is fitting of him and a salary of thirty thousand dollars a month, minus expenses."

The Queen hung up and I knew the matter had been resolved. She had agreed to my demands, no negotiations or bullshit. She might have known what would happen if she attempted to haggle. That solved that but it left me with nothing to focus on. The anger I had been harboring over that had kept me from processing my earlier revelations. I no longer had that luxury. It got worse as I heard Sookie's car putter its way onto my driveway. Before she could knock I opened the door. Godric was trying to find his keys. Yes, even two thousand year old vampires lost their car keys.

"Hello…" I cut off the last part of my usual greeting.

It was funny how a single thought could change so much. Prior to my earlier self-reflection nothing had been awkward. Our dynamic hadn't changed much. She and I were still able to talk and laugh when she came around. I hadn't even stopped calling her lover, until this second and of course she noticed.

"Hey, Eric." her greeting was tentative but she showed no other sign of having noticed my minute hesitation.

Sookie had her hair—and I had to admit I adored her locks—pulled into a neat chignon. Her legs were clad in opaque seamed stockings and she had on sliver colored heels. I stared at her and tried to find something I didn't want. In the dress she had on it was pretty impossible. The sad part, I couldn't even see all of it. Her knee length pea coat was simply left open and I got a glimpse of black lace underneath. It was more than her body I realized with awe. It wasn't her scent. That wasn't want I desired. It was her smile, the sparkle in her eyes, and the happiness that radiated from her. I wanted it her body was...second. I was in such deep shit.

"Can I come in?" she asked. "I'm getting cold."

It was then that I realized I hadn't moved out of her way. I had just parked my frame in the doorway staring at her. I moved with a nod of apology.

"My love," Godric called from the study. He had raised his voice for her benefit.

"Hi baby" She replied. "Where are you? We're gonna be late."

"I'll be just a few moments more, I promise." Calm and even as his voice was I could hear him tearing through the other side of the house at full speeds.

"Can't find your keys again? Huh" She asked with a smile. The expression on her face was one that was just for him. It was affectionate and adoring. It wasn't even directed at me but it warmed as though it was. It further confused the hell out of me.

"It's not that I can't find them," he replied. I could hear the smile in his voice. "They're just never where I remember leaving them."

Sookie chuckled under her breath and shrugged off her coat. "I'll help you look." She looked over her shoulder probably to tell me something but found me staring at her, again. I sighed internally. I hadn't even left home yet and I already felt like I wanted to be dead for another day.

"You okay?" She asked facing me. Her hands were on her hips, her expression inquisitive. Her body was clad in black lace that depicted sin and it took all the centuries of experience I had to keep my eyes on her face. "You're giving off all kinds of vampire weirdness."

You don't know the half, I added mentally. "I told him about taking the job," Godric chimed with a chuckle. Judging by the echo I knew he was in the bathroom. Seriously, why was he in the bathroom in search of his keys? "He's sulking."

"Oh" Sookie said walking as if that explained it all. It didn't, not even a little bit.

"I don't sulk," I snapped. "And how could you be okay with it?" I asked following Sookie into the living room. I found that I was angry. He would deny her nothing. If she had even put up an ounce of resistance he would have continued to let me fend off the Queen. "You realize that he would have to be gone for days at a time now,"

"Don't take that tone with me, Eric," Sookie said. "I don't like it."

It had been so long since we disagreed. I haven't been on the receiving end of her anger in months and I barely recognized it. After I did I welcomed it. This was familiar, fighting with her was good. It was pointless to be picking this fight. I'd already agreed and the deed was done but…

"I don't care what your fancy is. You should have asked him to stay," I said flatly. "But you didn't and now he has to spend three days a week in New Orleans dealing with bullshit."

Godric appeared in the doorway. He closed off his emotions and watched as if we weren't discussing him. He looked between us but said nothing even as the discussion began to deteriorate.

"Do you think that this is what I want?" she asked. She was facing me, hands braced on her hips; scowl in full effect. Under that I saw her pain. My anger instantly fell away and was replaced by guilt. "Do you think I don't want him to stay right here?" She pulled in a deep breath and her anger dissipated. "I agreed for the same reason you did, because he needed me to, because we knew there was no other way." She moved to the chaise lounge and dug her fingers into the cushions. I heard the jingle of car keys being disentangled long before she pulled them out.

"Found them" she called. I was already in my car with my foot pushing the pedal to the floor.

Later that night I walked into an empty house and the silence was deafening. I had no idea why I noticed it now. I never have before. I supposed it was worse with the way I had left things. I hated the quiet but since I wanted something—some ones—I shouldn't the silence was the lesser of two evils. Why couldn't I drum up any negative feelings outside of wistfulness and yearning? Some shame or guilt or jealousy would do me a world of good at the moment but I had none, not where those two were concerned.

At the bar this evening I tried to pick up a fang banger but I simply couldn't touch her. I tried more than one. I tried male and female and the results were the same. I found them all unappealing from the inside out, they were disgusting. I didn't have what I wanted but I didn't want anything else. Fuck my life right now.

Coming home a little early had done nothing to clear my mind. I had a long bath. The tub in the master bath was custom built. I was able to submerge myself in it comfortably and that's what I did. I needed to make sense of what I was feeling or even how I got myself into this. I had to admit I never saw it coming.

The more I thought about it the more obvious it all became. The feeling of wistfulness I had that very first night had been sporadic in the past two months. When either Sookie or Godric was around it faded completely. When one of them touched me even in passing it dimmed. I just never contemplated the thought that it would take both of them to ease me.

I couldn't blame it on the ties I had to my maker. He could sense my emotion but never influence it, not even if he forced his will upon me. It didn't affect emotion. Sookie and I had never shared blood, so that wasn't it. It was a few hours until dawn and I was in my day chamber with the realization that there was no making sense of it. My situation got a lot worse when I heard Godric enter the house and he wasn't alone.

From where I was I could hear the sounds of his trying to get under Sookie's clothes. I heard the thud of shoes as they were discarded, the rustle of clothes, the zip of zippers and the delighted moans that went with being free of them all. That slight yearning was turning into a tidal wave. It was getting worse with every passing second they enjoyed each other's bodies.

I had to wonder if I was just taking note of all these things now because I knew what I really wanted or if I was seeing what I wanted to see because I knew what I wanted. Neither was likely they hadn't been intimate here. Old as Godric was, carnal desires lost their appeal. From what he'd said, I'd been his last sexual partner. It was kind of fitting because I was Sookie's also.

'They are the best you've ever had' that was all this was. I kept telling myself that in the hopes that it would sink in and I would stop wanting but no matter how many times I said it nothing in my body changed.

It didn't help that I couldn't censor the images that danced across my mind. First it was the imagines of my most intimate moments with Sookie and Godric separately but they began to raid my mind in unison as their passion began to burn on the other side of the house. It only lit my desire. I craved it like a drug and the symptoms of my withdrawal were growing ever stronger.

I knew what Sookie sounded and looked like as she found her release. I knew the taste of her sweet wine. The same was true with Godric. I knew what he liked. I loved watching him fight the utter loss of control I caused in him. I knew how to push him over that precipice no matter how hard he tried to cling to the edge.

Thankfully Godric was still able to block his emotions from me despite the close proximity. It would have been negligible if I wasn't interested but I was. Then the one thing I thought I couldn't handle happened; Sookie begging for mercy of sorts.

"Baby, please…" she was breathless; her voice was throaty and desperate.

"Patience," Godric purred. "I will ease us both" The tenor in his voice sent shivers up my spine. I recognized that tone and so did my body. My erection went from somewhat under control to rampant in that one instant. It pitched under my sheets and my body sang with all the need that I had been denying.

"Now," she panted. "Need you now."

"As my love wishes" Godric groaned. He never slowed as he continued to drive his body in and out of hers.

I low pained whine escaped through my clenched teeth. The wisest thing for me to get up and out. It was what I should do but I couldn't move. I swallowed against the burn in my throat. My cock was hard and jerked to the beats of Godric's groans. It pulsed and throbbed to Sookie's mews. My eyes closed and grabbed fistfuls of my sheets to retain some control.

I had no idea how long I lay there trying to control it all but I was failing. My cock was weeping, my sac tighten with unspent lust. It was torture but I endured. It all went to shit when Sookie let out a sharp cry as she peaked. She continued to whimper and moan as the force of it pummeled her lithe body. By the way her cries were somewhat muffled I knew her face was in the pillow. I knew just what it was like to be in her as she came. Her body would seize, sucking my shaft deeper into her needy wet canal. Godric couldn't resist following her into bliss. He cursed in Welch. It was the tongue he used when he was truly at his basest, rawest form. I have not heard it in so long.

"…love you," he groaned. "With all that I am."

He plunged into her depths with reckless abandon riding her deeper, harder and faster. With every stroke her mews began mounting into screams. With every stroke he was losing control over his bonds. He was no longer blocking me from the desire and love he felt.

I had no idea how it happened but I found myself outside his bedroom door. My hand was out stretched to grasp the doorknob before I got a grip. I had to get away. With all the determination I could muster I turned from the door and out the door. Pam didn't live too far away. I could rest with her for the day. I hoped the distance would help but already I knew it would be useless.

At this point I was fairly sure Pam suspected I was on drugs. I was always twitchy and tense, short and edgy. I was sure she could have ignored it if I wasn't taking bringing my crabby mood into her house for the past four days. She was getting pretty sick of it and I knew she would let me have it the minute we rose. I wasn't wrong.

"You have to stop this," My child began. I hadn't moved from the position I rested in. Her day chamber was draped in frills and pink and white lace. I didn't really know where to begin, there was just so many things wrong with subjecting myself to it, especially because it was perfectly safe to go home. It was safe but I was avoiding the inhabitant and his woman.

"You have to stop this," she repeated firmly. "You will make us all miserable."

I kept quiet and waited for her to say her peace and or kick me out. She turned over and as fast as lightening she struck me on both ears with the heels of her palms.

"Have you lost your fucking mind?" I shouted. My ears were ringing. Her lips didn't move and she watched me patiently for the shock to my senses to wear off.

"Cut the shit," She hissed. "You want them and you're denying it."

"It'll pass," I said patiently. "I just need time."

She gave me a look that was equal parts scorn and disbelief "You love Godric," and it wasn't a question "And you love her."

"I don't love her." I snapped knowing exactly who she was referring to. "I just…" words failed me. It was mainly due to the fact that the yearning I felt for the pair had only grown with so little contact from them. Already knew I would be have to go back to see them, it was a matter of time.

"Love her, wait all you want. It isn't going to pass." Pam inserted. She looked ready to hit me again. While I would never really hit her back getting walloped wasn't pleasant. I moved out of her reach instead "If you didn't love her you wouldn't be here hiding. You would be drowning your thoughts in the feel and warmth of nameless faceless woman." Like in the beginning, she didn't say it but it was so heavily implied that she really didn't have to.

The thing about being around someone as perceptive as Pam was that when you lost your shit mentally they were the first ones to know. She didn't even need the advantage of my emotions. The connection that I shared with every other creature through blood was cut off since the other night.

"The only way you're getting back into my house is with an edict," she continued "Face your shit or leave me out of it." she said getting out of bed.

I remained where I was thinking I had done a really good job choosing Pam, too good in fact. There was no way I would give her an edict that would force her to allow me to rest with her. I mean, realistically I could but I wouldn't. I only used edicts to keep her safe. So at the end of a busy Tuesday night I went home.

There I found Godric packing a small backpack. I wasn't alarmed. He would be going to New Orleans. He would be gone from Wednesdays to Saturday, for as long as he wanted to remain in Area five or until Sophie-Anne was appeased. It was a tough call on which would happen first.

"Beloved," His face broke into a smile that had become so familiar since his arrival. I found I had missed it. It made me wonder what all else I had missed. "I hoped you would come." he walked over to me and kissed my cheek. There it was. That calm that I had been searching for but couldn't quite achieve. It came from his touch alone. While most of it dimmed it didn't fade entirely. It was just he and I, Sookie was gone."I have missed you." He murmured.

"And I, you" I told him sincerely.

"But you have been avoiding me," and it wasn't a question.

I averted my eyes but took his hand in mine. "I'll walk with you."

The fastest way for him to get to New Orleans would be to fly there himself. I walked with him at human speeds from the house, heading south. We'd been walking in silence for fifteen minutes before I spoke.

"Nothing would grieve me more than to make you unhappy or hurt." I said because I wasn't exactly sure what his reaction would be to what I had to say. I really couldn't help mentally cursing Sophie-Anne once more. If he wasn't going away I could have procrastinated a few more days.

"Yes," he said with a nod. "I know this."

"I love you…but I think I'm in love with her too"

"And that's what this is about?" He snorted a chuckle.

I hadn't really known how he would react hence my preamble. To have him laugh and shrug it off was the furthest from any guess I could have made. He all but worshiped the ground she walked on. I'd claimed to want nothing but her body. I at least thought he would be wary of my sudden declaration.

"The only person that thinks you love her is you, everyone else knows it." He continued. By everyone I knew he was referring to himself and Pam but I didn't know if Sookie knew. I honestly didn't think so.

"Does she?"

"Moon lights burning," he replied looking up into the sky.

"Wait" I called. There was no way he was not going to answer that question. "Does she?"

"She's as stubborn as you are," was all he said and then he was gone.

Ladies and gentlemen can you say, monster posting? Enjoy! A word of caution: PACE YOURSELF.

Another big thanks to my beta. Really couldn't have done it without you, thanks for making the time and taking the ride with me!