Summer time! I am out of school and will be bringing these chapters out. Honestly I plan to finish this story by the end of December because it's been going on long enough. I've been in and out of this website but I just want to thank all of you for following me and reviewing for me. They are extremely helpful. So just stay patient with me for a little while longer!
He wasn't supposed to end up this way right?
Jonny looked at another small poster wishing a happy birthday to Eddy, due to the bad handwriting it looked like Ed had made it. It was the summer now, which was great, the school year had been tough on someone like him. A loner like he was.
After the big summer debacle where the Ed's had been accepted by the cul-de-sac kids, the shoes for the castoff of the group had to be filled by someone. He was the poor person who was there to step into them, except unlike the Ed's, he had no one.
He was alone now.
Except, of course Plank, the friend who had stayed with him the entire time. Yet, his companion was a reason he was being left alone.
"Is he ok?"
"Should we call the counselor?"
"Why does that guy talk to wood?"
"There's the guy that talks to boards…"
The whispers were the worst part; he could hear them in the hallways as he walked by. He was someone who in the past, could handle them, but now they weighed upon him. He was not the main focus of any conversation in the cul-de-sac, he was at best a background character that people would occasionally speak too.
"Eddy, I keep forgetting that you birthday sign is the Leo." Nazz gave Eddy a passing glance as he chased Allen, trying to take the ball from his feet.
He stopped for a moment and gave her comment a cocky eye roll. "Of course I am! The lion is the king of the jungle and I'm the king of the cul-de-sac."
She gave him her own brand of eye rolling and Double-D snickered next to her.
Jonny wondered what it was like to have friends that were close to him like they were. Ones that would look at him and actually notice his presence, actually try to have lengthy conversations with him instead of halfhearted remarks or snippets of acknowledgment. He looked over at his wooden friend.
Plank was there, but could he be anymore?
Instead, Plank had been his stabilizer for years and was now keeping him from going to his next step, making genuine friends. He was his burden now, held onto by the strings of his own imagination.
His curse to bear, or his salvation? At this point, it depended on his own perception of how Plank was to him now.
"Hey Jonny, you dropped Plank…" Emma held out his wooden companion to him.
Only a part of him wanted to reach out. "Oh…silly me! Thank you Emma!" He smiled at her and brushed off some of the dirt that had accumulated on Plank from the floor. "Sorry to you too buddy..."
She nodded at him and smiled, the most social interaction he was going to get while he was here.
He was actually wrong though, because Rolf came over to him from behind.
"Jonny of the wood plank boy, you are invited to help me fix Nana's fence in the morning!" Rolf sat down in the chair to his left and smiled at him.
Jonny blinked in surprise, it had been such a long time since anyone had asked him to hang out. It would just be the two of them this time as well!
"I can work with you 'till the cows come home!" He over-excitedly agreed.
Rolf tilted his head and blinked, seriously confused. "The cows have not ran away, they are with Nana…or have they run from the son of a shepherd!" He panicked, rising from the chair and screaming a long battle cry through the door.
Everyone blinked, looking from Jonny to the wide opened door, still swinging from the forceful push.
"Why does he always yell…what does he even yell?" After some silence, Kenzie finally spoke up.
Eddy laughed and threw himself on his back. "We've been trying to figure that out for so long!"
Jonny laughed as well, trying to have something to share with the people in the room. It was the only time where he felt like he was a part of the group.
But that was ok now, because he was going to help Rolf out tomorrow and they could be even better friends. Maybe even with him having Plank as well.
When the party had ended he got up to leave and heard Allen talking to Ed.
"Hey, so what time are we helping Rolf with his fence tomorrow?"
His heart dipped.
When he left the clubhouse, Plank was heavy, he felt like a large weight that held him down.
When he work up the next morning he looked over at him, he was in his own little makeshift bed. He reached over but only a small part of him wanted to pick up his childhood friend.
His imaginary friend.
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, rolling back over in his bed.
The movie was about to start and Jimmy sat down in his usual seat, right where he was supposed to be.
Next to Sarah.
She laughed at something the girl next to her said, moving one of her long ginger hairs out of her face when she did. He couldn't help but notice all the small things she did that drove him crazy. The way she picked at her nails when she was nervous, or how she never reached up to scratch her nose, but instead wiggled it around like that would satisfy the itch. Mostly though, just how beautiful she was inside and out made him swoon.
But she would never notice him.
She never had in all these years, only when he was hurt did she ever turn to him, only when he feigned pain did she even give him the time of day. He didn't know if that had helped or hurt his chances with her, now when she looked at him all she saw was a skinny, weak boy with a giant cowlick and braces. At least it wasn't the headgear anymore, just a couple more days and he would finally have the braces off too. He could actually look like someone who could stand next to her, instead of the boy who she always looked past.
To her, he was probably like an old imaginary friend that was fun when they were kids, but something she grew out of. All he did was hold her back, he saw how some people would look at her when he was around. Like she had a small leech with her at all times and they knew if they talked to her, Jimmy was there. Not a lot of secrets would come to her when he was around.
"I'll tell you later…."
"Looks like you got a little shadow there."
"Sorry, what's your name again?"
He had only been invited to hang out with some of her friends because he was around at that time and they didn't want to be rude. Now he was with a bunch of people he didn't know, watching a chick flick that actually didn't bother him, and felling particularly alone in a room full of people.
He was her constant nuisance, maybe she had outgrown him after all.
She turned towards him and caught him staring at her…again.
"What's up Jimmy, I got something on my face?" She was already reaching up to touch her cheek, where she thought his eyes were lingering.
He shook his head, more so for his benefit than hers. "No, I…it's nothing." He wanted to say more but this wasn't the right place for that.
Nowhere was the right place though, here he was making another excuse. He had so many opportunities to finally tell her, to get it off his chest and finally find out if she felt the same.
That was always the problem though, he never wanted to know the answer. If she said no, that would be it for him, he could never go back to the world that he had grown so accustomed to. What was there outside of his friendship with Sarah?
After a quick blink she just shrugged his meek response off like she always did and the movie started.
She smiled again, but it was because something the girl next to her said. She would notice the people that grabbed her attention, the ones that talked first, and here he was switching between her and the movie.
She got a text and looked at it quickly, a small smile across her face. It had to be Edd, she would only reply that quickly when it was Edd. She wouldn't even do that for him.
He knew, they all knew that she liked him, but he never gave her the chance to be with him. Jimmy didn't understand how the smartest guy he knew could be so stupid. She was the best gift of this world and here she was, giving him her attention when he wouldn't even give it back. If it was him…he wished it was him.
"I bet you five bucks I can guess the ending." She leaned over and whispered at him, a half smile on her face.
Hope, something to grasp onto when all else seemed to fail. She had turned to him. Even though his head was screaming for him to say something, all he could do was shrug and smile. How could he have messed up so much? Back in the day he would have said something, at least let her know that he had heard her.
She bumped him with her elbow and he felt some of the air escape his lungs, the smile still fresh on her face. "Come on, you gotta take the bet." She reached out with her hand, the last lifeline of a potential conversation.
He reached out, grabbing it for a sweaty shake, he didn't think she actually cared seeing as his hands were always sweaty. The touch reminded him of all those times in the past where she held his hand to lead him somewhere after he was hurt.
"M-more like five bucks that y-you've already seen it." A joke! Something came out of his mouth that actually was pertinent to the conversation.
A laugh, one that was pure enough for him to know it was real. Gee wilikers was it a fantastic noise.
"Cross my heart, I haven't seen it." She made a Boy Scout sign with her fingers and mimed a motion with her other hand over her chest in an X formation.
He gave her hand a skeptical look. "You were never in Boy Scouts."
"True." She went back to watching the movie, the residue of a smile still on her face.
He wanted to do the same, watch the movie and find out if Bridget really got back together with Tommy or not. He knew he couldn't though, all he could do was peek at how close his hand was to hers, how she emitted waves of heat that seemed to waft over to him. He wanted to say something, anything, but he couldn't…
He honestly thought he never could.
This was so much different than when Edd tried to advance with Nazz. She would reach out to him, give him chances, she knew the entire time he had some kind of interest in her and let him make his moments.
Jimmy knew, he had asked everyone but the Ed's how it had happened.
He wished he could emulate that example, but this was so different. She didn't know he liked her, she didn't give him the chances. She didn't even notice him, let alone give him her time, he was holding her back and she had to have understood that by now.
A boy lodged himself between him and Sarah, basically swatting him away like a fly. He made a quick joke about a class they had and she looked over at him, at first confused, before answering him. The boy wasn't Edd though, so Jimmy didn't even feel a ping of jealously. No, he was more so envious at the fact that the boy was able to build up the courage to speak with her, to try his advances.
He tried to talk to her the whole movie but eventually she got bored and just reverted to one word answers. Jimmy snickered behind him when it got to that stage, giving a somewhat silent protest to what he was trying to do.
He didn't expect the boy to go over to him and speak about it. After the hang out he waited until Sarah was saying goodbye to her friends before he did.
"Everyone needs that person to feel needed, you make her feel needed, but that's it." The boy shrugged and looked down at the small cowering boy. Who was more afraid of the words that he was speaking than his physicality. "All you can ever be to her is her little shadow, so don't try to act all big when you can't get any closer to her than I can."
When the boy walked away Jimmy looked over at Sarah, who was hugging her friend and giving her thanks for having them over. She was even speaking for him now.
He couldn't keep doing this to her, if he actually liked her the way he did then he would do this not only for him, but for her as well. He took a step away, to test the waters and see how he felt, then ran off, crying like the small boy that always did when he was hurt.
This time Sarah wasn't around, only the faint call of his name rang out from the house, and he didn't stop for it.
It wasn't supposed to end this way for him.
Allen sat down on the uncomfortable chair that barely reached his neck so he couldn't lean on it. He noticed how keen his senses were, he could hear the small tapping of the receptionists hands against the keyboard, the small draft that was blowing against the side of his face from the window.
How heavy his shoulders were.
He needed to breath, but he couldn't, he just sat there with glazed, lost eyes.
The doctor knelt down next to him, he wasn't much taller than Allen, but now he felt like a giant.
He was speaking but Allen wasn't even trying to listen, didn't even look at the man as he described his condition and what it would do to him.
Slowly.
He nodded in rhythm to the sound of the doctor's voice, he was trying to sound comforting but it wasn't helping.
He had actually just gone to the doctors because he was having severe leg cramps. He expected it to be the old, you don't drink enough water lecture. Ya, that wasn't it though. Instead, he was told his heart was continuing to fail. At this stage in the process he needed a new one that wasn't going to come anytime soon. Basically, what they had told him was that his expiration date was going to come pretty soon.
He did smile at that, even as the doctor continued to speak about his condition. His family never used the terms die or dead, just 'reaching your expiration date' like humans were all food or something. He'd remember that when he reached his time.
His heart wasn't getting any better but this was the last chance he had at it actually working properly. Well, now he knew at least, the constant worrying of if it would get better or not was so stressful that an actual answer was what he needed, even if it was the worst one. He had lived with this for a couple of years now, always just well enough to play soccer. If anything he probably shaved some time off because of the constant stress the sport put him through but he wouldn't have stopped it for anything. If it wasn't for the fact that he would for sure keel over if he ran, he'd do it even now.
When he got back home his parents had a fit, they cried of course and tried to come up with a million things that they could do to help him. He sat there and smiled at them, really taking the moment in, even if it was a hectic time. He just took them all in, silently thanking them for all the times they helped him.
/
"You think if I jumped, I could make it?" Allen questioned, he was looking down from the top of a large pile of junk.
Eddy looked over at him skeptically. "No way, ya'd definitely splat." He mimed the motion with his hands and whistled until his fist hit his other hand.
Usually that would be a morbid but they laughed about it.
"Hey Eddy, you think I could go all the way in soccer?"
He looked over at him with a confident smile, answering quickly. "Of course, you're the best defender on the team, easy. I can't defend 'cause I'm a forward, but whenever the balls on your side, I don't worry...much." He ended his comment with a sly grin.
Allen took a deep breath and looked up at the sky with a smile. At least someone had confidence in him, his parents always told him to get a degree and not to focus on sports. He couldn't do it though, he knew he had what it took to go all the way.
Well at least he did.
"Thanks Eddy…kind'a needed that one."
"Nah, you were just fishing for compliments." He elbowed him in the ribs.
Allen gave him a light jab in the shoulder as a friendly retaliation. He would miss this horse play, once Eddy realized that his heart was failing he would stop with that, be tentative and afraid to hurt him, but he didn't want that.
He wished he could be treated normally but knew that wouldn't be an option from here on out. Eddy threw another rock behind him at a car in the junkyard and the sound echoed. Why did Allen think he could just out right tell him?
Eddy looked off towards his house and threw something else. "Why'dya call me over here?"
Allen tried to find an ounce of anxiety inside him. Some kind of fear that would keep him from saying it, but coming to terms with his mortality didn't make him feel…well anything.
He turned around to Eddy and gave him a half smile, if anything it held at least a little sadness in it. "Hey Eddy…it looks like you won't be having me in soccer anymore."
Eddy's face went through several stages, first was anger, then confusion, and lastly, when he actually stared at Allen, sadness. "What's wrong with ya?" His hands were in fists, but this wasn't a problem he could punch his way out of.
He opened his mouth to say it, but then hesitated, and like that all the emotions he should have felt that day came rushing back. This obviously wasn't healthy for his heart and all of a sudden he started to laugh, with so much force he shook.
Eddy tilted his head, and the angry expression returned. "Oh, so you like playing jokes do'ya!"
"Haah…no…it's just…so funny…hehe…I was just thinking how worrying…pfft…isn't good for my heart." He was bent over now, he reached out to hold Eddy's shoulder but he still laughed.
"Y-your heart?" Eddy looked down at Allen, then the shaking arm that grasped tightly to him.
Allen kept laughing while Eddy continued to look at him like he was insane, because he totally was, right?
When he finally stopped, he looked at the ground for a while until he finally saw the droplets hit the earth from his eyes. At first he had thought it was because he was laughing so hard. Until he started hysterically crying.
He was able to explain everything through rushed words and hiccups but he got it out, and was even able to get Eddy to cry along with them.
"…I-I didn't think I h-had the heart…to tell you…" He joked, and as terrible as this moment was, as many tears had been shed.
Eddy laughed.
The son of a Shepard's main purpose was to take care of his farm and his family, then raise a child that would do the same when they were older. Yet here was Rolf, living with his Nana because she wanted a different life for him. She had left with him after his parents asked that he live a different environment than theirs, it was great, the cul-de-sac was amazing for someone like him. He had become his own man away from all the pressures and non-education of his previous hometown at the time. Here, he could have been whatever he wanted to, and yet a simple farmer was all he could have mustered to be. His Nana had tried to get him to not help with the chores but he loved it.
He was definitely a hometown boy at heart, at least that's what Eddy would say. If anything, the way his life worked he more so liked to revolve around his farming than his school work, when he was in school he was in a foreign area that beat on him with uncertainty. He hated school with a passion, nothing made sense to him no matter how hard he tried. He would read books, listen to lectures, and take notes. Yet he was still constantly failing or just above failing in his class.
When he was farming, it was the exact opposite. There we knew everything, was able to come up with different avenues and ideas that were actually appreciated by his higher up's, in this case Nana. She would look at his work with so much pride and joy, and he was able to observe the progress of his own effort. He bonded with the animals in a way that was unique to his job and who he was.
He loved farming so much more than school but he needed a life outside of just a simple farmer. He wanted to be educated enough to help his family out when he was older, he wanted to make sure that his kids had another option other than farming. Like his parents did for him.
He thought about his future in a way no one in his grade had. He did everything with the thought of his future family and how that would affect them in mind because that is how he was raised. That was how his culture proceeded with their thinking.
That's why he decided to go back to school in his home town. He couldn't get the grades he needed now to get him into a college close by to the cul-de-sac. This place was his future, but he needed time in his cultural home to get back here. Their education was more so suited to him now that they actually had one, they spoke his language, and they understood how to teach him in a world that was familiar to him.
He needed this, he had already filled the paperwork out, got the plane ticket ready, and he was traveling with his Nana. He was as good as gone, well once he said bye to the people who had accepted him.
"Rolf, I don't know how to even start with this thing…" Eddy was holding a piece of the fence and looking at it like it was a weapon.
Rolf wondered why he had asked so many people to help him, he could have done the work by himself, but then again he wanted to spend one more day with the people who were closest to him. "Oh, wise guy Eddy has found himself trapped like bacon bits in the snout of Wilfred."
Edd popped up from behind Eddy with a finger up, already in question. "Isn't Wilfred…your pig?!"
Eddy pushed him out of the way, patience already worn from not having his question answered. "How do I use this stake?!"
"You stick it in the vampire's chest before it bites you like this!"
"Ed do not chew on Eddy's forehead!"
"ED!"
Rolf didn't know how Eddy's head had ended up in Ed's mouth, but he laughed at it none the less. The other cul-de-sac kids had turned in attention to see them fool around.
"Oh run of the mill Ed-boys, I will miss your merriment dearly." He chuckled, not even thinking about what he was saying.
Even though a lot of things Rolf said were random to them, Ed jumped in on that one. "Where are you going Rolf?" He sounded concerned in a childish way only Ed could.
Eddy and Ed were in comical positions, one guarding his head, and the other over Ed's shoulder. They were looking over at him wide eyed. Even the other cul-de-sac kids moved over to see what was going on.
"Rolf, is everything ok?" Jimmy stood to the right of the Ed's while Jonny found himself going to the left.
"Gee Rolf don't scare us, what's going on?"
Rolf gulped, looking over as Nazz and Sarah worked on another section of the fence, they weren't as easily distracted as the boys were. He had wanted to tell them all over some of his Nana's homemade candy beats.
"Rolf…" He looked over at them again, this was the last time he could observe at his friends without them knowing and he wanted to take this moment in. "Is going back to his homeland…"
There were tears, mostly from the girls…and Ed, now that he thought about it, especially Ed actually. No one took the news well, this was change, this was something that no one had considered.
People weren't supposed to leave the cul-de-sac, they were supposed to grow up with one another the whole way and be together. Yet here they were, growing apart, becoming different people during the process and realizing that they couldn't keep staying together. Things had to change, people had to get rid of their old ways, realize their own faults, and come to terms with what life had thrown at them.
But it was all worth it for the future.
They had to take these lumps now, have them mold each other so they could get to know the new people that would emerge from them. The people that weren't accepted now were just the caterpillars before the butterflies.
Rolf wished he could tell them these things in a way they could understand.
Instead they talked all night about different memories that had led them to this moment. All the stories and tales that he would have to tell his parents when he saw them. When most the people had hugged him and left the fence finished, he walked with Nazz and the Ed's for one last stroll around the cul-de-sac.
When they got to Eddy's house he pulled Rolf aside and gave him his goodbye. "I'm gonna miss you, no one…you were…I don't know how to say bye…you're my friend Rolf. I…don't want to say goodbye to'ya Stretch." For the first time in forever he reached over and hugged him. For a long time, long enough for him to feel him shaking.
"Eddy…I…how you say…love the time we had together. You are a great leader to the other Ed-boys, Rolf trusts that you will grow to be an excellent man." The answer was broken and he left so many things out, but he knew Eddy would get it.
He walked away, blinking a few times and waving at him.
Ed was next.
"Rolf I don't wanna say goodbye for real…" Ed was the only one who could look at Rolf eye to eye, but he seemed so small at that moment.
"Oh, chin of an abandoned mountain Ed-boy. I never had a better apprentice than you, and I will fondly miss our time together." The soft words made Ed sniffle.
They shook hands, something that was meant as respect but Ed still gave him a giant hug. Rolf was always seen as the biggest one there, always the strongest. A quiet leader because of his sheer power.
Ed could easily take his place there and when Ed walked away he smiled to himself.
Double-D and Nazz were last, they wanted to say their goodbyes together.
"Rolf, without your guidance and wisdom, I would have never been able to understand your culture. Your outreach to us is very well appreciated and…" Double-D paused, realizing he was being too formal to someone he admired, he wanted to just sum this up appropriately. "I apologize. Rolf, you were a fundamental member to cul-de-sac and I will miss the role you filled here. A friend that understood and loved us all equally." He wiped a tear from his eye and gave him a shaky smile.
Nazz spoke up as well. "Rolf, without you I would have been lost in high school, you helped me more than you know. You gave me the courage to finally give Edd a chance, and I can't thank you enough."
Rolf hugged them both, without saying anything because he knew he couldn't. They all just cried together there.
While he was walking back to his house he saw someone sitting on his porch, a face that was all too familiar, but so different to him.
"Knew it was important once I saw that you had sent a text…" Kevin looked up from his phone to the lengthy boy. "Didn't know you wanted to leave so bad though."
"Rolf had to find a way to get away from you somehow." He chuckled and Kevin joined in.
It was a good way to start the conversation, they talked about a lot of things, who they were now and where they wanted to go was a main topic. Rolf and Kevin had always been close, even during high school where they had both had their changes, they still found time to hang out and talk. He understood Kevin in a different way than the other cul-de-sac kids. That being said, it wasn't like he agreed with everything he had done.
"Rolf thinks that you should speak again with the cul-de-sac kids, you fail in your attempt to impress the go-go Nazz girl with your aggressive tendencies." Rolf wanted to help one more person before he left, maybe he could do that for Kevin.
His best friend looked at the ground, a sad expression locked in his deep eyes. "I've already done too much to go back, even as much as I want to…"
"Rolf doesn't think so." He pat him on the back and then Kevin reached out to shake his hand.
That wasn't the last goodbye he had to make, and it wasn't the last time he cried either.
He would miss this place.
He would miss them.
When the summer ended, everyone had gotten ready for junior year. Everyone minus one.
Jonny walked with some friends he had made from the Boy Scout club from school, talking to them without holding Plank, though he was stuffed in his backpack. Out of sight, but never out of mind.
Jimmy was speaking with Sarah, this time though, he was leading the way, and even cracked a joke. It still went over her head, but he at least had made it.
Allen took deep breaths as he and the Ed's walked to his house, trying to keep himself from wheezing, he was about to stop and sit down when Eddy pulled his arm over his shoulders and helped him walk. Talking about something that happened during school and pretending not to notice.
They had all grown, they were no longer the children that had walked into this school as freshman.
The cul-de-sac was broken up, missing a piece, but it would live on through all of them this junior year of high school.
Everyone had grown into what they needed to be.
As sad as this chapter was, I think it was worth showing how everyone else has grown around the Ed's. I promised someone a long time ago I would write about everyone else separately and I think this was the time to do it. I have a written out plan for how I am going to proceed from here and I like what's going to happen junior year. Please review for me and tell me how you like it, or if you want a specific chapter.