To paraphrase Louise Rosenblatt, "a story's just ink on a page until a reader comes along to give it life." This in my way of saying, I'd really like to know what you think, and appreciate all reviews.
TRANSLATION NOTE: The word, "Yami" means darkness.
CHAPTER 25: TEMPORAL RELATIONS
So many fairy tales… so many heroes desperate for an escape. Think of all the pigherders and shepherds who run off in search of adventure. Given a choice, how many of them would rather return to their hovels instead of marrying the latest of a seeming endless supply of royal youngest daughters?
But fairy tales are contradictory creatures, collectively providing a moral for every taste. And so there is an equal but opposing number of tales for which, as Ursula LeGuin noted, to journey is to return. And as children heading off to school and baseball players rounding third base know, the trick is to always try your best, have fun, and come home safe.
But, as Bilbo Baggins discovered, the road to there and back again seldom forms a perfect circle. For if you tarry too long, you might find that while your starting point has kept its old coordinates, the people who make it "home" have subtly shifted. And even fairy tale heroes sometimes find that they need to recalibrate their internal compass before everything falls into place.
YUGI'S NARRATIVEWe knew Yami and Kaiba had completed their mission and were within our borders when Kisara disappeared in front of our eyes. Either that or they were in such desperate straits they had had to summon her. I looked at Mahaado, reassured he was still standing beside me. If a fight was going down, Yami would have called on him.
Kisara had disappeared in the blink of an eye – but she would have to fly back. We settled down to wait. And hope. Logic said that they were fine and this was routine, but there are things logic can't control, so I felt like cheering when we saw them return.
Kaiba jumped off Kisara first. What he did was so natural, but so unprecedented, that it startled me. Kaiba ran over to Mokuba and hugged him – then instead of breaking away abruptly, like he'd done every other time I'd seen him hug Mokuba, he grabbed his brother even tighter, and buried his face in Mokuba's black hair. If Kaiba said anything to Mokuba, none of us heard it and, for once, Mokuba was equally silent. He just kept his head buried in his brother's chest. It was funny how the Kaiba brothers could make you feel like you were listening in on them – all without saying a word themselves.
For a moment Yami looked as startled as me, then he smiled. And finally, I was giving and getting a hug of my own. It was good to have Yami back.
"It's the first site we talked about. The one directly southeast."
I almost laughed. Kaiba had summed up a two week trip in two sentences.
Yami filled in the details, somehow making their trek through hostile territory seem calm and uneventful, even though he was describing a bunch of battles. When he reached the end of their fight with the Poison Mummies, he paused.
Mahaado must have assumed he was done too, because he said eagerly, "We are ready, pharaoh. When you have rested, and we have taken counsel, if you approve of our plans, Kisara can fly you and Yugi and Kaiba to Set's fortress… a pyramid? Fitting for the god of eternal night. As many dragons as you can spare from your decks will fly alongside with unaffiliated monsters. Along with the monsters you summon on your arrival, it should be enough to force a path into the fortress, so you can duel Set's General. I pray that he is there."
"Oh, I think he will be," Yami said.
"You might want to hurry though," Kaiba added with a laugh, looking up from his brother, although he still hadn't let go. "We released the last spy. By tomorrow at the latest, Set's General will know we were onto him and were heading back here with the information."
"It was the only way to ensure that his General was at his headquarters," Yami said.
"True, but it increases the possibility that Set's general will be well prepared – or that he will have relocated, leaving only ruins behind to mock us," Mahaado said, worry evident in his voice.
Yami grinned.
Kaiba answered for him. "Set's deck is frozen in time. I recognized the monsters at its core. But Pegasus, devious bastard that he is, didn't settle for recreating your ancient terrors. When he ran out of your stone monsters, he made up his own."
Kaiba pulled out a card with a flourish. It was a dragon, but for once, it wasn't his Blue Eyes White Dragon. He held up the Different Dimension Dragon instead.
"She does not reside here," Mahaado said, looking at the shimmering scales on Kaiba's card.
"Well, she is the Different Dimension Dragon." Kaiba smirked. "This card can move in and out of time. If you're as ready as you claim, we can be there now."
I'd forgotten all about her. Yami nodded as if he'd been waiting for Kaiba to pull a rabbit (or a dragon) out of his hat.
"I thought you remembered. I figured it was part of your plan," Kaiba said to him.
"It was. I know your deck as intimately as my own," Yami said in a low voice I'd never heard him use before. It was even more startling than the Different Dimension Dragon.
I remembered arguing with Kisara and telling her that Yami had been determined not to tell Kaiba his feelings, much less act on them. She'd snorted in amusement. I had to admit it looked like she was right. Maybe it really didn't pay to argue with a dragon.
"And I have the card to match it," Yami added, pulling out "Multiply." "Transportation is not a factor," he told Mahaado. "Duplicates of the Different Dimension Dragon can ferry as many troops as you have ready."
"It is almost sundown and the moon has begun its final phase. Set's power is greatest in darkness. We will leave at the first light," Mahaado announced. "The smaller dragons will start their journey as the fading moon wanes and meet us when they arrive, as a second wave."
Kaiba turned to Yami. "Your name means 'darkness' and your power is greater in the day? Who thought that one up?"
"We are blessed by the sun god. We will await his hour," said Mahaado in a voice that cut off all arguments.
"More video-game bullshit," Kaiba muttered.
I laughed because his reaction was so predictable. Because he was alive to say it. Because Yami was here smirking at his comment with me.
"I keep telling you – where do you think the story lines in video games came from, besides from myths and legends?" I asked.
"I was wondering what you had actually said," Yami murmured, just loud enough to be overheard.
Kaiba glared at him. I realized, for once, Yami was having a private joke with someone besides myself. If Yami came back with us, I might have more to get used to than I had thought.
"How have you been, partner?" Yami asked me.
"Fine. Jounouchi and Anzu and the others are okay, too," I told him.
"How did you find out?" Yami asked.
"From the Flame Swordsman."
"You had the mutt's card with you?" Kaiba asked, incredulously.
"No. And his name's Jounouchi, not mutt. But that's what was weird. I was thinking about Jounouchi… about how much I missed him… and I was worried. I wanted to make sure he was all right."
"Weren't you listening when the Holy Elf said they wouldn't be aware any time had passed?" Kaiba asked.
"Of course I was. But Jounouchi's my friend. Anyway, I was thinking about Jounouchi, and how much the Flame Swordsman is like him… and then the Swordsman was here. I didn't know I could do that."
"If your connection to a card is strong enough… or your need is great enough, on rare occasions you can call forth a card, even if you are not holding it in your hands," Mahaado said. "If the card chooses to answer. It is best saved for extremes. It takes too much energy to do frivolously."
"Like anyone would ever need the bonkotsu or his crappy deck that badly," Kaiba snorted, as he headed off, with Mokuba in tow. I had to give him credit. It was a good exit line. Mahaado and the others went back to the palace, and me and Yami were alone for the first time since he'd left.
"I'm sorry," Yami said. "I didn't mean to put you in danger, again. You deserve a life free of all this."
"I don't mind. I've never minded facing danger at your side. At least this time, whatever happens, I won't have to wonder if it was my fault you're dead."
I hadn't meant to sound bitter.
"Yugi…" he said. I think he interrupted more to stop me than anything else, because he paused for a while before adding, "I didn't see anything but the road at my feet. But I should not have demanded my death of you – even if it was the only way to get here. But whatever I decide, whatever happens tomorrow, I was needed here. Even though I didn't know why, even though I got so many things wrong – I had to come. And you were the only one I could trust to do that for me. I didn't know how you felt."
"Neither did I," I answered. "Not until afterwards. I was so mad. But I figured something out… I can face whatever happens next, as long as we're dueling on the same side; as long as you're not here just because you lost a duel. This time if you decide to stay… I won't have to wonder if it was what you wanted. I'll know. You're my partner. I'll always be there for you – whatever you need. I'd just rather help you win."
"As long as we're together, that's a certainty," Yami said with all of his old confidence.
There was a pause, then I finally said, "So you and Kaiba, huh?"
Yami nodded. "Do you…" He stopped himself. "No. Finishing that question would not honor any of us. Whether wise or unwise, this was my decision – and his," he said firmly.
"Well, asking might be out of line, but friends – and that's what we are – talk about stuff. It's cool. You like him; you have for a while now."
I have to admit, I was relieved. In spite of the vibes I'd always gotten from Yami about Kaiba, in spite of what Kisara had said, part of me couldn't help wondering if he'd been into Anzu and had passed her up because of me – mainly because I still couldn't see why anyone who had a shot at Anzu would want Kaiba instead. I knew that wasn't how Yami felt, but I blurted out anyway, "You really don't love Anzu."
"Of course I do," he replied, obviously puzzled. "She is the truest, most loyal friend a man could have."
I grinned, glad for once that Yami had missed the point. But then he added, "I love Anzu. I do not desire her." He still looked puzzled. "But you know that – you were the one to teach me – or to help me remember – the many facets of love." He sighed. "Some are easier to master than others."
I knew I should probably say something about Kaiba in return, but except for "Is he really as crazy as he seems?" nothing was coming to mind. I mean what can you say about a recovering homicidal maniac? But Yami either already knew Kaiba was insane or was never going to.
The thing was, in spite of all that, I liked Kaiba. He wasn't a bad guy. And I really did respect how hard he'd worked to become the troubled, arrogant, aloof – but honorable – pain in the ass I'd come to know. It wasn't like I hadn't witnessed every painful step along the way, and I couldn't help cheering him on – even if I'd never quite mastered Yami's trick of rooting for him while dueling against him.
Besides, if Yami seemed to have changed a little in the short time he'd been gone, so had Kaiba. He'd hugged Mokuba for one thing. He'd smiled.
"I like Kaiba," I finally told Yami, hoping he hadn't noticed my pause. "It's weird though. It's like with Kaiba, everything's right there on the surface – like the way he's crazy about winning, or his love for Mokuba – or it's buried so deep you can hardly see it's there."
"Yes," Yami said. "Thank you."
I hoped this meant that Yami had decided to come back with us, but I knew that he would have told me right off the bat if he had. I remembered what Kaiba had been like on the trip out to find Yami. I was afraid he'd take it just as hard if Yami stayed, in some ways harder than the rest of us, because I was used to the idea of letting Yami go – and like I said, Kaiba hated losing. But Yami probably knew this all better than me and I was betting it bugged him even more, so I kept my mouth shut. It was weird though, having all these things I suddenly knew not to say, when I was used to sharing everything. So I fell back on the one thing I could tell Yami: "I'm glad you're back. I missed you."
MOKUBA'S NARRATIVEAs soon as we were alone in my room at the palace, he threw the card to me. I caught it. It was the Black Magician Girl. I looked at him and nodded.
"I borrowed the card from Yami," he said. "Attack 2000, Defense 1700. Not bad."
I didn't think she was bad either, if it came to that.
"Her name is Mana," I said.
"A bit of a follower," my brother said dispassionately. "She fights better with her family around her – or in defense of them."
"So do most of us," I pointed out.
Nisama nodded. "It's dangerous to overlook her – just when you write her off, she powers up and makes you pay."
I stifled a laugh. In some ways Nisama was totally predictable. He'd focused on her attributes as a duel monster, not a person.
And yet… he'd managed to describe her pretty well.
"It's fun being with her," I said. "I never thought girls were… you know… cool. Well, Anzu – but she doesn't count. I mean, Mana's different…" I stopped babbling and tried to think of something more grown-up to add.
"This isn't our world," Nisama said quietly.
"I know. It's a pretty amazing place, though!"
"We have to go back," he said.
"Yeah, I know. But I'm glad we came."
"Mokuba," he said a little desperately, "I don't want you eating your heart out for something you can't have.'
"Like you?" I challenged.
He nodded. "I've always wanted better for you."
"Don't worry. I know that no matter how real this feels, it's not. And that when we say good-bye, it'll be forever. That's okay. It's worth it. I'd rather mope around for a while and miss her, than miss out on something this awesome."
"At first, I thought it'd be easier in a way, knowing there was an end-date," my brother said, talking more to himself than to me.
I stared at him. My brother's mind worked in a way that no one else's did, and sometimes even I couldn't follow his thoughts.
"When we started… I figured that if it's not going to last, then it doesn't matter what he knows, it doesn't matter that I…" He shrugged, and ran his hand through his hair.
I nodded so he wouldn't have to put his thoughts into words. He had just told me, as clearly as if he had shouted it, that him and Yami had gone a lot farther than me and Mana had even thought of. And I knew it wasn't the sex he was referring to, but the emotions that went with it.
"Are you going to be all right?" I asked.
He nodded.
"Even if Yami stays?" I asked hesitantly.
"Don't worry," he said dryly. "People leave, Mokuba. It's what they do." He turned away from me and began pacing. "Sometimes I wonder," he said more to himself than to me, "were they skid marks or acceleration ones?" He suddenly stopped moving, shook his head, and focused on me again. "But that doesn't matter. What matters is that I'm not like… I'm not going to crumble. I'm not going to fall apart and leave you to pick up the pieces."
I held my breath, not wanting to break the spell. I knew what he was talking about, of course. I'd read the police report of our father's accident in Nisama's locked desk drawer. It was dog-eared, like he'd thumbed through the thin folder a lot. But this was the closest Nisama had ever come to talking about our father, at least to me.
He interrupted my thoughts with a bitter laugh. "Or should I say, leave you to pick up the pieces again?"
"It's not like that Nisama. It's never been like that."
He turned away, again. I didn't say anything else. He was going into a battle tomorrow. He didn't want to talk; he thought showing his emotions, even to me, was a weakness. I didn't agree. Nisama was wrong sometimes; I knew that now. But there was going to be a horrible fight tomorrow, and he was going to be in the middle of it, just like always. So even if I didn't agree with his definitions of strength, tonight wasn't the night to challenge them, either. At least not directly.
KAIBA'S NARRATIVE
"No stories this time?" I asked when Mokuba was in bed at the palace. I figured it was easier to leave him where he was, than to return to Kisara's aerie. She was spending the night in the courtyard, anyway. But it still felt odd. This was the longest I'd been indoors since we'd left for Set's territory.
"Of course I have a story!" Mokuba exclaimed with a grin. "This is fun isn't it? Like when we'd lie in bed at night and you'd describe the deck you were going to have one day… and the theme parks we were going to build when we got old enough."
I nodded. I'd hated the orphanage where everything conspired to remind me that I was too damn small to take my fate and Mokuba's into my own hands, where it belonged – but I'd loved those nights, lying in bed talking to Mokuba until he fell asleep.
"And then you'd tell me what it'd be like to ride on a Blue Eyes White Dragon for real… and now we have!" Mokuba said. "Who would have ever expected that to come true?"
I nodded again. Mokuba knew as well as I that life was unpredictable, although in my experience, pleasant surprises were a rarity.
"Anyway, once upon a time…" Mokuba looked up quickly enough to catch me smiling, "… there were these two brothers."
"Just two? I thought fairy tales had this odd fixation on the number three." I managed to keep my voice casual, even as I pushed aside the thought that every family I'd known, from before Mokuba was born, to life with my father and brother, to Gozaburo, had all been triads. Just like a damned fairy tale.
"Their father was the king. And one day, he called them together and told them that he'd leave his kingdom to whichever one passed the three tests he gave them."
Well, at least the number "three" had made an appearance. But this story bothered me. I didn't like it.
"He turned the brothers against each other?" I asked. "He made them into enemies? He sounds…"
"As crazy as our adoptive father?" Mokuba finished. "Yeah, he was."
"Did it work?" I tried to sound unconcerned.
"Of course not!" Mokuba said emphatically. "How could it? The brothers loved each other and nothing could change that. They agreed that whatever happened, they'd share the kingdom. The king was too stupid and crazy to suspect anything was up."
I looked at Mokuba suspiciously, but I couldn't help relaxing, even though I wondered how much of this story Mokuba was changing for my benefit. Mokuba returned my stare with his most innocent look. That settled it – he was making this up as he went along.
"The first task," Mokuba went on quickly, before I could decide whether I wanted to challenge him, "was to find the finest cloth anywhere in the world. The elder brother let the younger brother take the east road. His country had traded to the east, west and south, but no one had gone north before… so that was the road he took. But the farther he went, the emptier the lands became. Soon he wasn't worried about completing his task, but about finding shelter. He kept going anyway, even after he ran out of food."
I snorted. "This has to be the definition of too stupid to live."
Mokuba grinned. "Yeah, he was too stubborn for his own good – or maybe he just never learned how to turn back once he set his mind on a goal. Anyway he was phasing in and out of consciousness when he fell off his horse right at the doorstep of this castle."
"Which appeared out of nowhere," I observed.
"Of course it did. It was a magic castle, Nisama. Anyway the next thing he knew he was in a soft bed. When he got up and went downstairs there was a table set for two – loaded with all his favorite foods. He was starting to wonder if he was dreaming or delirious. Then he saw a white cat sitting at the head of the table. She told him to sit down."
"If I was wondering if I was going crazy, a talking white cat would definitely clinch it for me," I couldn't resist saying.
"Luckily the prince was more open-minded," Mokuba said. "He rested for a week, figuring he needed to get his strength back before heading out again. Then he realized he liked it in the castle. And once he got over his host being a cat, she was pretty awesome. He even got used to the tons of cats hanging around – because she was the Queen of Cats, and with being waited on by invisible hands. But he knew he had to get going, so he told the cat about his mission. She told him to stay… that she'd help."
"'You're a cat. How can you help?' he asked."
"'Do you trust me?' she answered."
"He nodded and she called for spiders to spin silk thread into the softest, finest fabric ever seen. And when it was done, the ghostly hands packed it in a hollowed-out acorn shell. He said his goodbyes and went to meet his brother at the inn, like they'd planned.
"What happened? Weren't they rivals now?" I asked, frowning. The first and last time Mokuba and I had been rivals had been at Death-T.
"Nothing happened. They weren't rivals, not really, because they were brothers. They loved each other. Nothing could break that and they knew it. You should know it too," Mokuba added sternly. "They went back to the castle together and everyone marveled at the older brother's cloth. Even the King had to agree he'd accomplished the first task."
"But the crazy king only said that if he was going to retire he wanted a dog to keep him company. But not just any dog; he wanted the littlest, prettiest dog in the world."
Okay, I got it. Fairy tales were batshit crazy. So was this world and this battle we were about to fight, for that matter. But this was the fucking last straw.
"Why the hell would he want the world's smallest dog? What kind of fucking stupid quest is that, anyway?" I growled.
"Well… we agreed that the king was nuts, remember?" Mokuba answered in his most reasonable voice. "It doesn't matter what he was asking for. What matters is that it was impossible. And the brothers were setting out to do it anyway."
"So the brothers went their separate ways again, and the oldest son found himself heading back to the Queen of Cats. He told himself it was only fair to thank her. But as soon as he got there, told her all about his father and his latest challenge."
"'I can help,' said the cat again."
"'You're a cat. How can you help me?' the prince replied."
"'Do you trust me?' the cat asked. Then she sent for all the birds in her kingdom and asked them to search the world and bring her the smallest, prettiest dog."
"True to her word, they flew back with a dog so small it could fit in a walnut shell. Just like before, the two brothers met at the inn and then rode to the castle together. And just like before, everyone agreed that the older prince had met his father's demand."
"But the King said, 'Before I can retire, I want to see my sons settled. I will leave my kingdom to whichever son brings home the best bride.'"
"The youngest son had been in love with the daughter of the king next door since they were kids. He was overjoyed to be able to marry her so quickly, and rode off before the king was finished speaking, pausing only to yell over his shoulder to his brother to meet him with his bride at the same inn."
"The oldest son rode straight back to the cat's kingdom and told her the story, saying, 'I don't think you can help me with this one… if only I could marry someone like you!'"
"'Then I will be your bride, if you wish it,' the cat answered."
"And the more the prince tried to convince himself it was impossible, that she was just a cat, the more he realized that he loved her anyway. So they were married the next day, with all the other cats as guests. The prince was ready to take her home to meet his father when she said, 'There is one thing you must do for me first.'"
"'Anything you ask of me,' the prince swore."
"'Take your sword, and cut off my head.'"
"The prince refused. He ranted at her and stormed off. When he came back, she simply asked, 'Do you trust me?'"
"So he did as she asked. And no sooner had he cut off her head, then the cat disappeared and in her place was a beautiful princess who said, 'Thank you for freeing me from my enchantment. I was doomed to stay a cat unless I met someone who loved and trusted me enough to do as I asked, even when I requested my death.'"
I looked at Mokuba blankly. The prince had kept his promise, but it had led him to kill his love. How could he do such a thing? No promise should be that binding. And yet, it turned out to be the winning move. Did that mean it had been the right thing to do? I had no ready answer, no quick moral for Mokuba.
He had one for me.
"Sometimes, even in fairy tales, there is no right answer. All you can do is your best – and hope that it's enough," he said quietly.
"And if it's not?" I asked.
"Even then. All that's left is to forgive."
"Maybe there are some things that shouldn't be forgiven," I said. It was as close as I could come to asking Mokuba how in hell he could be so blind as to forgive me.
"Well, you forgave me," he said.
"What?" I asked, confused and bothered.
"Noa's World," he said. "I turned against you. I sided with Noa. That was a betrayal – wasn't it?"
"Never say that again!" I yelled. "You were brainwashed. I know that."
"By the time Death-T came around – so were you. It's not fair. You're not fair, Nisama. You forgave me as though it's the most natural thing in the world – but you won't really let me forgive you."
"It's just a word anyway. It doesn't change a thing," I muttered.
"Yes. It doesn't change a thing. It doesn't change the way I feel – the way I've always felt, all along. I've been thinking about it a lot. You're right. It's a stupid word. It doesn't mean anything. You know what happened in Noa's world – that I would never have turned against you if I could have stopped myself. I tried my best."
"I know, Mokuba. It's okay."
"Well, I know the exact same thing about you – and it was true all through the years with our adoptive father – it was even true at Death-T."
"You don't get it, Mokuba. I had to be strong. I had to control everything that came our way, or we weren't going to make it. I had to be smarter and faster and tougher than everyone else."
"You were. You are."
"I had to be perfect. And I wasn't. And we had no margin for error."
"Yes, we did. You made mistakes. We both did. And we came through just fine. We're here. We're together. You're always saying it's the result that matters. Then why doesn't it matter now? Tomorrow you're going into battle, just like you always do. It's time you knew that whatever the hell the word means, I forgive you."
I paused, thinking that over, and wondering how, despite what I'd just told Mokuba, something as formless as words could suddenly feel as solid as armor.
"Where'd you get all these old stories from, anyway?" I asked to change the subject.
"Remember all those times in the orphanage when you got sent to bed early because someone thought it'd be a punishment? Well I memorized every story you missed. I knew one day, you'd have the time to listen to them."
Thanks to Bnomiko for betaing this chapter, especially given the whole quotes within quotes thing!
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Actually Yugi wasn't quite right. Kaiba and Yami were gone for 10 days, not 2 weeks; I just couldn't see Yugi as being that concerned with precision (Kaiba on the other hand would probably have listed the days, hours and minutes.) And I thought it would honestly have felt longer to Yugi, so I had him round up.
This is the first story where things like counting the days mattered, or the phases of the moon. When I started writing this the moon kept blinking in and out – sometimes it was full, then a day later it would be a new moon. Anyway before I posted, I sat down and figured out what the moon would be doing. What I finally settled on was that it was a day short of a full moon on day one, which would mean by day ten, Mahaado is accurate when he says that the moon had begun it's final phase from Third Quarter to New Moon.
Fairy Tale Note: I knew I wanted Mokuba to tell this story. The only problem was, I hadn't heard it since I was a kid, and I couldn't remember the name or some of the plot. But I decided that Mokuba might very well make up parts of it to make the story more applicable. Except I couldn't, for the life of me, remember what the second task had been. Then Kagemihari came to the rescue, remembering the story and even providing a link. The second task – to find the world's smallest dog – was actually the first. I put it second because, like Kaiba, I think it's one of the most absurd tasks I've ever heard of, and I wanted to ease into it.
Kaiba was right by the way – there were originally three brothers – and the youngest, not the oldest is the one who has the adventure. . Ironically (although I had forgotten this) the brothers do remain friends, and the king really is crazy. And Bnomiko's comment on Kaiba's reaction to the idea of a talking cat was too good not to share: "he's objecting to a talking cat when he has a TALKING DRAGON in the courtyard?" Well, yeah… but it's his talking dragon. I guess to Kaiba, that would make a difference.
All comments welcome. I'd love to hear from you.
Happy New Year!