Chapter 24
Funeral For An Angel

Ginrei walked down the hallway, Mai by his side, "How are they doing?" she asked, looking up at the former Kuchiki leader. He closed his wrinkled eyes and sighed.

"They are still requesting privacy. But who wouldn't after you lose a child?" they stopped momentarily outside Byakuya and Hisako's private chambers. He reached out a hand and silently cracked the door, both elders peeking inside. The couple lay in the bed under the covers, Hisako in Byakuya's tight embrace, her hands pressing against his chest with her head buried in his shoulder. His cheek was resting on her dark black locks, his eyes closed as he whispered quietly to her. Hisako was trembling in his arms, shaking her head continuously into his shoulder. The room was dark, the curtains drawn closed. It had been two days since the passing of Ronina. The funeral had been set for tomorrow, preparations already set.

"It's such a tragedy to happen to them." Mai said, a hint of guilt laced in her voice, "I shouldn't have been so hateful to her." she said quietly, beginning to walk down the hallway. Ginrei cast one last glance at his grandson before sliding the door closed, following Mai down the hall.

Hisako tried to hold back another sob as Byakuya held her within his embrace, but soon found it impossible. Byakuya gently rocked her within his arms, "Do not cry Hisako…" Hisako shook her head, another tear soaking into his clothed shoulder. Byakuya had taken off work early to go back to Hisako. A house-maid went to Byakuya, telling him that Hisako was weeping uncontrollably and wouldn't let anyone inside the chambers. Byakuya went home, and was shocked when he found her sitting by the window with a bottle of sake in her hand. She looked at him with a hint of a smile, telling him how sake began to taste good after the fourth cup. He slowly approached her and took the bottle from her hands, scooping her into his arms and carrying her to the bed. She begged him to give her the bottle back, saying that if she could get drunk enough, she might be able to forget what happened. Hisako then burst into tears, curling herself to Byakuya. He grabbed a tissue and slowly dabbed away the tears that escaped her eyes.

He could still smell the hint of sake on her breath as she cried, "I can't… I just can't… I lost our baby… I'll never forgive myself Byakuya." she wrapped her arms around his neck, "I'm sorry…"

THE NEXT DAY

The guests in the garden were completely silent, giving respect to the small child as she was presented in the small casket. Hisako bit her bottom lip, screwing her eyes shut as she turned to Byakuya, hiding her face in his chest. A tear rolled down her cheek. How many tears had they shed? Too many for her to count. Captain Kyouraku, Yumichika, and Shuhei watched her silently, frowns on their own faces.

The service went by quickly, and soon the crowd thinned. Hisako slowly approached Ronina's casket, placing a hand on the lid. Byakuya watched, Captain Kyouraku and Shuhei beside him. They were silent as Hisako stood there, giving a sniffle or two.

Byakuya looked at her with a saddened expression, the tear streaks drying on his own cheeks. He and the other two men went to her. Byakuya sat beside her, drawing her back into the comforting embrace he offered. Captain Kyouraku placed a hand on Hisako's head, leaning down to kiss her temple. Shuhei slowly rubbed her back, "Shh…" Byakuya whispered quietly to his wife. Her hands curled into fists, gripping his shihakusho tightly. She pressed her head into his shoulder. He glanced at the captain and lieutenant, "You two can go inside. I can take care of her." with reluctant nods, they stood and went inside. Byakuya kissed Hisako's forehead, "It's going to be alright my love. Let's go inside… You can rest." he put an arm under her knees and gently lifted her, carrying her towards their home.

"I don't want to leave her alone…" Hisako murmured. Byakuya looked down.

"I know Hisako… I know…" he took her inside and carried her into the bedroom, laying her on the bed, "Rest now." he bent down to give her one last kiss, "I'll go tend to the guests before they leave." he slowly stood and left the room. He turned to Captain Kyouraku, who was waiting just outside the door, "Do you mind-" Captain Kyouraku shook his head, holding a hand up.

"I'll go sit with Hisako." Byakuya nodded and continued to walk down the hallway. Captain Kyouraku went inside, silently closing the door behind him. He put on his best smile and went over to Hisako, sitting on the edge of the bed. He held a hand out, placing it on his former subordinate's head, "Hey Hisako…" he said gently. Hisako remained silent, still as can be, only blinking her tear filled eyes. The man sighed quietly, reaching over and pulling Hisako into his lap, "Cry Hisako… Don't keep it all bottled up… I know you're trying to be strong… for both you and Byakuya… but there needs to be times where you just let it out and cry… So go ahead Hisako…" it was quiet for a few seconds, until a few sobs began, "There we go… just cry all you need to." she continued to sob quietly into his broad chest, her body shaking with every sob.

"Why did it have to be my baby?" she whispered, "I wanted a baby for so long… and I was finally going to have one… but she was stolen away from me… why my baby?" she kept asking. Captain Kyouraku smiled softly, hugging her to him.

"Sometimes… these things happen." he began to say, "Some children get a lifetime here, some may only get a day or two, and some may only get to feel your womb, but don't have a need to stay there." Hisako blinked, looking up at him, "Your baby, little Ronina will be with you. She'll watch you and Byakuya as you move on, and someday have another baby. She'll be with you as you sleep, sitting right beside you and running her hand through your hair. You may not feel it, but she will be there with you forever. She isn't truly gone. You'll see her again someday, and her arms will be wide open, waiting for you to go to them." Hisako smiled, truly smiled, as one more tear went down her cheek. Captain Kyouraku leaned down and placed a light kiss on her forehead, "Just have faith." Hisako hugged him.

"Thank you captain."

"How are you holding up Byakuya? I know everyone is worried over Hisako, but I want to know how you are doing." Captain Ukitake asked the Squad Six captain quietly in the now empty room. Byakuya sighed, looking his onyx/blue eyes away from his former mentor.

"I'm… trying, to be strong for Hisako. She's barely said a word since the day Ronina had died. I've been trying not to be upset, but it was my child as well. Sometimes I wish I wasn't who I was, so I could just cry and not have to worry about who sees. I was taught not to cry. Hell, I didn't cry when both my parents died. But that was from my father always telling me to be a man and not shed tears over petty things. But this is my child as well. My first child. Hisako lost her mother and brother, and I lost both parents and my first wife. Was it really necessary to lose our child too? Did we not suffer enough as it is? When people ask how Hisako is doing, I tell them the same that I told you. But I believe you are the first, maybe second, person to ask how I'm doing. People don't realize that it isn't just the mother who suffer, it's the fathers too. I looked forward to holding my baby in my arms and be by her side as she grew into a beautiful woman, just like her mother. Well, give or take her attitude." Captain Ukitake chuckled, "But I think it will take some time before we move on. I know it will take Hisako a while. She doesn't get over things quickly from what I observed. " the captain nodded.

"Yes. Losing a child is always hard. But it's always good to talk about it. I bet Shunsui is back there telling Hisako to cry her heart out. She's tried to keep it in for these past few days, and he's probably telling her to let it out. And since it is Hisako, his former subordinate, he'll most likely try to cheer her up by telling her something." Byakuya looked away.

"I feel so helpless. I just hold her while she cries at night. I jut lay there and stay quiet." Captain Ukitake smiled softly.

"Sometimes that's all they need, is just for you to hold them in silence. Sometimes it's all you can give them, and sometimes, that's all you need." he clapped a hand to Byakuya's shoulder, "Just by holding her you're helping her. You both need to help each other. You hold each other, try to comfort each other. The greatest comfort you can get is to be in the arms of the one you love. So don't feel helpless Byakuya, when you're doing everything. But don't forget about yourself." Byakuya gave him a confused look, "I know you're trying to be strong, you have been since you were a small boy, but sometimes you just need to let go. Go back to Hisako, and just cry with her. Tears are good remedies." Byakuya raised an eyebrow.

"You sound like you're an expert captain." Captain Ukitake shrugged.

"When you live as long as I have, you learn a thing or two about life." he nodded his head to the hallway, "Now go. Hisako needs you now." Byakuya gave a single nod and a thank you, then turned and walked back to the bedroom. He opened the door to see Captain Kyouraku on the bed with Hisako, holding her while rubbing her back. He smiled.

"Looks like Byakuya's back Hisako." the woman sniffled and looked towards the door, holding a shaking hand out. Byakuya went to her and took her hand.

"Thank you Captain Kyouraku. You can go." the captain nodded and stood, giving Hisako one last smile before leaving. Byakuya climbed into the bed and pulled her into his lap, holding her close to him, "My Hisako…" he murmured, reaching up to brush a hand down her hair. Hisako lay propped against his chest, her head resting on his shoulder. They were quiet for a few minutes.

"Captain Kyouraku aid… that Ronina will be with us at night, sitting on my pillow and petting my hair at night while I sleep…" Byakuya's eyes widened, and he looked down at her.

"He told you that?" Hisako nodded. Byakuya softly smiled, holding Hisako closer to him. He closed his eyes, placing his cheek on Hisako's head as a tear rolled down his cheek, "Yes, Ronina will be by our sides Hisako. She will be with us." he said quietly in her ear, "She'll never leave us." Hisako nodded, hiding her face in Byakuya's neck.

"I miss her Byakuya… I want to hold her…" he nodded, kissing her forehead.

"We will one day Hisako… we will one day…"

THE NEXT DAY

Hisako was kneeling in front of the large cabinet, holding Hisana's portrait. Beside it, was a blue glass urn, now containing Ronina's ashes. Her hands were pressed together, "I love you Ronina..." she whispered quietly, her head bowed and eyes closed. Byakuya walked into the room, kneeling down beside her, putting a hand on her back.

"Are you ready to go?" Hisako blinked, looking at him.

"Go? Go where?" he smiled, brushing her bangs from her face.

"I promised we would go to your beach house after the funeral. We can go any time you want." he said softly into her ear. Hisako shook her head.

"I don't need to… My squad needs me. I can't be skipping out on work like I have been…" he shushed her, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear.

"They'll understand Hisako… We need some time away…" the woman raised an eyebrow.

"We need some time away? You've been taking this better than I have." she said, sitting up, "I've been crying my eyes out, and you've barely done anything. Our baby dies, and it seems that I'm the only one who's upset over it. Then you say that we need some time away?" she stood up, walking to the window that looked into the gardens, "My baby died in front of me…" she said, lowering her head as tears rolled down her cheeks. Byakuya stood, a look of disbelief on his face.

"Our baby died in my arms Hisako. The first time I held her was when she died. She was my daughter too Hisako." he turned her to look at him, "You think I don't want to cry? I've been trying to stay strong for you Hisako…" he said in a quiet voice, "When I hear you cry… when I see your tears… you don't think I wanted to cry with you?" she just looked at him, silent as a mouse, "It tore me apart on the inside just hearing you cry… And I knew I couldn't make it better no matter how hard I tried." her eyes widened slightly when she saw a tear go down his cheek.

"Byakuya…" she said in a shaky voice as she reached up, taking her index finger to wipe away the tear. She leaned to him, wrapping her arms around his chest, "I've been so selfish… I've never even bothered to ask you how you felt… I'm sorry." Byakuya closed his eyes, more tears going down his cheeks as he rested one to her soft black locks. He put his arms about her body, pulling him to her, "This has been just messed up… nothing seems to be going right anymore…" she muffled into his neck. He didn't answer her. When she felt him trembling, she glanced up to see tears sliding down those pale cheeks.

"She warned me…" Hisako tilted her head.

"Who warned you what?" he opened his eyes.

"Captain Unohana… she warned me after the accident… that we shouldn't make love for three weeks… so that there would be a less chance of miscarrying Ronina… She said something about it stressing you… I completely forgot about what she said, until after we made love that night… I thought to myself that if you lost her… it would have been my fault… and we did end up losing her…" he slowly went to his knees, "I keep having this dreadful guilt that it's my fault we lost her… even though it was past three weeks… it's a feeling that won't go away, no matter how hard I try…" Hisako knelt down beside him, cupping his cheek.

"I've never seen you cry before…" she whispered. Soon they were in each others arms, holding and cradling each other as they both wept.

TWO DAYS LATER

Byakuya sat in the dark room, sitting beside the bed as Hisako slept. It had been about a week and a half since Ronina had slipped away, and Hisako was in pieces. He stayed by her side 24/7 since then. Hisako was currently on her side, facing away from him as she soundly slept. Her hair was wrapped around her shoulders and sprayed across the pillow from her previously tossing body. He smoothed it down and kissed her head, "I'll be right back." he whispered, standing back up and silently leaving the room. He walked down the hallway and turned the corner, going to a certain room he hadn't visited in quite a while. He opened the doors and went in, closing them silently before crossing the floor to the set of cabinet doors. He knelt on the pillow and opened those doors as well, met by the picture of Hisana, "Hisana. You have to help me. I've- lost my daughter. Hisako went into pre-term labor, and delivered Ronina early... Captain Unohana tried to save the baby... But she was just too small. I- don't know what to do. I want to be strong for Hisako... But it's hard, when I want to cry as well. Ronina was my baby... My own flesh and blood. I was actually excited. I never thought about being a father, but when Hisako told me I was going to be, I grew so excited. I wanted to be able to hold the baby and know that the child was mine. I wanted to raise it and take care of it. Give her the father Hisako didn't have, and love Ronina just as much as Hisako. We were finally going to be a real family. If you see Ronina, can you please take care of her? Please... I don't know what else to do." he gripped his kimono harshly, closing his eyes and bowing his head, "Please... take care of her..." Byakuya sighed deeply and stood back up, turning and leaving. He went back down the hallway to his room and opened the door. Hisako was now awake, sitting up and was holding something in her hands. He got closer and saw that she was holding her ultrasound pictures from the previous months. She pointed at a place on the picture.

"Look Byakuya. There's the head, hand, and the left foot, and the other hand-" she sniffled, "And the other foot. And the baby." she put them down and closed her eyes, beginning to sob. Byakuya sat down beside her and put his arms around her, tucking her to his chest, "Our baby... Our baby's gone Byakuya. And it's all my fault. I shouldn't have moved so much." he held her tighter.

"It isn't your fault. If it's anyone's fault, it's mine. I could have postponed the trainee evaluations and stayed home with you like you asked. I could have been there to help you." he murmured in her hair, stroking it softly with his hand.

"I just... can't stop crying." he nodded, snuggling closer to her.

"Then don't..." her head settled on his shoulder, her silent sobs still making his heart ache. He could feel her shaking with each sob she made.

"I thought it couldn't get any worse. I thought nothing could be worse than losing my mother and brother... And now I've lost my baby." he shushed her.

"What do you want Hisako? I'll give you anything." she was quiet for a couple of seconds.

"I just want you to hold me. Like you did after we made love that night." she whispered to him. He gently laid back against the pillows, keeping her propped on his chest. His hands were holding her around the waist while hers pressed to his chest. Hisako hid her face in his neck. They were silent, until they heard hard footsteps coming from the hallway. Byakuya looked down at Hisako, who had suddenly tensed up after feeling a familiar aura, "It's my father." Byakuya was immediately walking to the door, and opened it right as Hisako's father stopped to knock. He barged past Byakuya and went to Hisako.

"There you are, you worthless girl!" he grabbed her wrist and jerked he from the bed, her cry of pain echoing through the room as pain shot through her arm from the violent pull, "You insolent, sorry excuse for a daughter! How dare you allow that child to die!" he pulled her to the floor, Byakuya watching in horror, "I would expect as much from you. You always let the people you love die." Byakuya couldn't believe what he was hearing. Hisako looked away, tears welling in her eyes. Her father's grip tightened on her arm. She tried to get out of her father's grip, but he held on with a bruising force.

"Stop... It hurts." the second Byakuya heard that strained sentence he grabbed Hisako's father's wrist.

"Let go of my wife." the old man scoffed.

"Let go of my wrist." he raised his free hand as he turned around.

"Did you not hear me the first time?" he asked, his voice almost a growl, "Let go of her." her father narrowed his eyes before releasing Hisako's wrist. She sank to the floor and held her wrist with her other hand, "Now leave here, before I order you killed for trespassing." the man stayed put for a few seconds before turning to leave.

"Good riddance." he left. Byakuya instantly went to Hisako, taking her wrist gently.

"Are you alright?" she slowly nodded, her eyes still gazing at the door, "He's gone Hisako." he said softly, taking Hisako into his arms.

"Why does he hate me so much?" she asked, burying her head in his shoulder. I don't understand what I did that was so wrong, for him to hate me like this… I don't remember doing anything…" Byakuya shushed her.

"You did nothing Hisako." she looked at him.

"You don't know that… I could have done something when I was little that I can't recall…" he shook his head.

"You don't seem like the type of woman to do something like that to make your own father hate you Hisako… Now rest…" he crooned in her ear, "It's still very early…" Hisako nodded, resting her cheek to his chest. She could hear his strong heartbeat through his clothes, slowly lulling her into sleep.

An update! It's been over a month! *cries* I'm sorry! Schol has gotten me so busy and last night my computer was hit with a virus. So I am on my PC right now while my dad goes to get my computer fixed. Last night I snuck down and saved all my documents and pictures of my bleach stuff onto a memory stick. Haha. Wouldnt be good if daddy saw my documents with all my lemons on it. XP So, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Well, not enjoyed, but you get what I mean. I hope. *giggles* Reviews are much appreciated! :D