When she awoke on the day of her atonement, John had already left the Ranch and Mercy found herself alone. She stretched out, looking at the timber ceiling for a few minutes before standing and opening the curtains. It was a bright morning and she smiled to herself as she surveyed the property that was now her home. She had referred to it as home a few times, but now she really felt it. The thought of returning to a dank apartment filled her with dread, and she sometimes wondered how she lived so long in the claustrophobia that was big cities when she could have been living in a beautiful part of the country like this. Turning from the window, she caught sight of a long white dress hanging from the front of the wardrobe and walked over to it, finding a note speared on the hanger.
See you at the church.
She frowned. What? It was a simple garment, long and straight, with capped sleeves and made from a thin, slightly rough material. There were three buttons on the rounded neckline that she could undo to open it further. Biting her lip, she looked around nervously. She should have asked more questions about the damn Atonement. Anna came into the room at that moment, slowly opening the door.
"Oh, you're up!" she remarked. "I was coming to get you, you'll need to start getting ready!"
Mercy pointed at the note, confused. "Did I miss something? Is this a… er…"
The older woman shook her head quickly and grinned. "Oh, no," Anna laughed. "We all wear white when we atone. It's a symbol of purity. Best be quick, we need to leave in an hour!"
Mind spinning with too many questions she knew no one would answer, she took herself off to shower. When she came out of the bathroom in her underwear, Anna started making a fuss of her hair, then helped her put the dress on. "You look lovely," she remarked.
Mercy stood looking at herself in the bathroom mirror once more, the long white dress hiding her scars, save the burn marks on her arms and the slowly healing tattoo on her wrist. Anna had managed to pull the top section of her hair back into a plait, leaving the rest to float around her shoulders. As she stood there, she thought back again on how much she'd changed in such a short amount of time. On the surface she'd changed dramatically - her hair was longer, sitting now on the tops of her breasts, her eyes the same dark blue, but seemed somehow darker, her brows bent in worry and anticipation. Her skin was scarred and marked, but she held herself with a new confidence she hadn't had before. Back straight, shoulders square, she was ready for whatever Hope County saw fit to throw her way next.
Under the surface, however, that was another story. She felt like the woman she used to be had been ripped out of her almost a year ago, pressed and twisted and pulled into a new shape before being shoved back into the husk of her twenty-nine-year-old body which was now too small, too young to house the creature she had become. She was not the same Mercy anymore, the experiences and the horrors she had endured had changed her almost beyond her own recognition.
Then there was the cause of it all - Joseph Seed. If it weren't for him, if it weren't for the Project at Eden's Gate, she wouldn't be here. If it weren't for him putting her in John's path, making him her keeper, she wouldn't be here. If it weren't for him asking her to help John "find the light", she wouldn't be here. Not that she did much, if she really thought about it - she didn't go out of her way to change him. She was just there, and apparently, that was enough. Maybe Joseph knew all along. Maybe he knew about more than just the Collapse.
Now here she was, waiting to go to church, to participate in a ceremony she knew next to nothing about. A year ago she would never have given a second thought to going to a church, it just wasn't something that fit in with her life; now she was going to one to atone, of all things. Atone for killing innocent men and women, atone for trying to destroy everything Joseph had worked so hard to build.
Anna tugged on her arm gently, pulling her from her thoughts. "We have to go."
They met Brother James and the children downstairs. They all moved outside to a waiting pickup and began the short journey to Fall's End. Mercy sat in the front seat with Brother James and absent-mindedly picked at the skin around her nails while everyone else in the car talked animatedly amongst themselves. She could feel their excitement but couldn't emulate it, her mind focused on what the ceremony would entail.
"Will Faith be there?" she heard Eloise, their daughter, ask.
"I don't think so," Brother James said. "Not today."
Mercy listened quietly, staring out of the window at the farms as they drove past them. She still hadn't met Faith in person and suspected that might have been on purpose. John didn't seem to care much for his adopted sister and rarely spoke of her, and she'd had no contact with Faith since their meeting in the Bliss. She had tried asking him about Faith a couple of times, but he would just shrug and brush the question aside.
The one-street town soon came into view and their truck stopped outside the church. Panic rose up in her chest as she looked at it - it was decorated this time, a red carpet rolling down the stairs to the footpath, covered in flower petals. White lace adorned a lattice arbour, bunches of Bliss flowers sitting atop it. The sign to the left of the door had the word ATONEMENT painted over its original message. Turning towards the open doors, she could see the small church was packed. At the other end of the road stood a small group of locals, clearly non-believers, watching in interest at a safe distance. Project patrols were dotted along the road and she saw snipers on some of the roofs, there were even a couple of helicopters on the road by the church.
Mercy climbed out of the car with some difficulty, her legs restricted by the long dress. Anna and the children were already making their way up the steps to the church, which left her standing silently next to Brother James. He smiled at her and took her arm, leading her up the red carpet and into the church. Joseph and John stood at the other end by the altar, singing along with the congregation, their voices soaring high as three people stood in the aisle before them, also wearing white. The air crackled as she entered the church and looked around the room, her gaze settling on John. He looked up and paused as he caught sight of her, one corner of his mouth hitching up. Brother James let her go, leaving her to walk down the aisle towards them on her own as he skirted the pews and stood behind John. She felt naked and exposed as the congregation watched her walk towards the other end of the room. Joseph was holding one of his Bibles, a large tome bound in white leather and embossed in gold. The song ended and he greeted the congregation before allowing John to take over. From where she was standing, she couldn't really see what was happening, but she could see Joseph hold the book out to the man at the front as John spoke.
"Our devoted, we are gathered here to bear witness to those willing to atone for their sins. Will you, Edward Rollins, place your hand upon the Word of Joseph, and renounce your sins and admit your transgressions?"
The man reached out without hesitation and proudly proclaimed "Yes!" The Bible was withdrawn and John stepped forward, taking a clean knife from a woman to his left and appeared to unbutton the man's shirt. The knife swiped cleanly over the man's chest and he did not wince or shy away, but stood proud and tall as John handed the knife back to the woman. She started to clean it with a fresh white cloth as Joseph reached for the man, gripping the back of his neck and pulling him forwards so their foreheads touched. He whispered something to Edward before letting him go. She watched him walk happily over to his family in the pews, the two teenage boys and older woman embracing him enthusiastically.
A second man was now in front of Joseph, who once more was holding his Bible towards him. "Will you, Peter Bell, place your hand upon the Word of Joseph, and renounce your sins and admit your transgressions?" John asked steadily.
Peter, like Edward, placed his hand quickly on the book and agreed, allowing John to slice through the tattoo on his arm, which Mercy couldn't see. The young woman in front of her backed up slightly, tripping over the hem of her own long white dress and stumbling backwards clumsily. She caught the young woman who turned around gratefully before recognition and then annoyance flitted across her face. It was Penny, the teenage girl who asked John for dinner in this very church so many months ago.
"Oh," she mumbled, turning away to face Joseph and John again. "Thanks."
Once more John passed the knife back to be cleaned and Joseph held the book out to Penny. If Penny was standing here then she must have been marked at some point, but she was clearly apprehensive about being cut. Mercy could see Penny trembling, her long, wavy blond hair twitching as her body shook.
"Will you, Penny McAlister, place your hand upon the Word of Joseph, and renounce your sins and admit your transgressions?"
There was a pause where Penny stood, looking at Joseph apprehensively, then at John for help. But he couldn't help her in the way she wanted, Mercy knew. He was there to help her atone, not coddle her, not save her from the inevitable pain the knife would bring. Mercy stepped forwards and brushed Penny's hair aside soothingly.
"There's no need to be afraid," she said in a low voice so only Penny could hear her. "You will be absolved of your sin so you can join your family in Eden's Gate. If you cannot atone, you cannot pass through the Gate. I know you don't want that, and we don't want that for you." She paused, letting her words sink in, before using John's favourite line. "All you have to do is say yes."
Penny looked at her, face wrought with worry, but gave a small, shaky nod. She reached her hand towards to bible and rested her palm on it. "Yes," she said meekly.
Joseph covered Penny's hand with his gently before removing his hand and the Bible, stepping aside to let John through. The neckline for Penny's dress was already scooped low, and Mercy watched silently as he tugged it down a fraction more to reveal her tattoo - LUST. She sucked her bottom lip into her mouth to keep from smiling as she remembered how disappointed the girl had been when John refused her offer of dinner. Penny's whimper of pain pulled her back into the present and she watched, somewhat sadly, as the girl stumbled back to her waiting parents, clutching her chest.
Finally, it was Mercy's turn and she found herself standing before Joseph. He smiled at her warmly before his hand came up to the back of her neck, pulling her towards him so their foreheads touched.
"Welcome, child," he said softly. "We've been waiting a long time for you to be here today." Slowly, he released her, fingers trailing down the side of her neck before pulling away, and held the book out to her.
John stood behind his brother, his eyes dark as he smirked at her. He opened his mouth and spoke to the room. "Will you, Deputy Mercy, place your hand upon the Word of Joseph, and renounce your sins and admit your transgressions?"
Mercy looked from him, then to Joseph and finally to the book, hundreds of moments from the last year jumping to the forefront of her mind. Moving to Seattle. Arriving in Hope County. The helicopter crash. Being captured in the Ranch. Torture at John's hands. Being baptized in the river. John kissing her for the first time. Kyle Miller, the man she had aided at her first Cleansing. John sharing her bed. She sharing his. The firefight outside the prison. Being tortured by the Resistance. Joseph's vision of the Collapse. Rescuing Brother James's family. Reuniting with Pratt. Killing The Cook. Pratt grinning at her as he died. Jacob's look of betrayal as he realised he was killed by his brother.
All of those moments led her here, now, standing in front of these two men in a church. "Yes," she said determinedly, placing her right hand on the Book. "Yes, I will atone."
Joseph bowed his head and pulled the book away, stepping aside as John approached her, pulling his flip knife from his pocket instead of taking the blade he'd used for the other three participants. He deftly undid the buttons on her dress and pushed the material aside to reveal the tattoo beneath her collarbone. He bowed his head towards her as he pressed the tip of the knife to her skin next to the tattoo. It felt suddenly as if it was just the two of them in the church, she couldn't see anyone else but him. Mercy heard John's breath catch in his throat as he drew the blade through the tattoo slowly, absolving her of her sin. She stiffened but didn't move as he completed his task, drawing a deep breath through her nose as he pulled a handkerchief from his vest pocket and placed it over the fresh wound to stem the bleeding. He raised his head to meet her gaze and she put her hand on his to hold the handkerchief herself. His hand lingered for just a little too long and she narrowed her eyes at him as he stepped away to allow his brother to stand before her once more.
Joseph leaned in to whisper in her ear. "Welcome to our family, Mercy."
He pressed his lips to her forehead before stepping around her as John pulled her back to the side, slipping his arm behind her back casually. Joseph began his sermon, welcoming the new members of his family officially. Brother James gave her a warm smile as she looked over her shoulder at him. He was standing next to the wall in the background, looking over the congregation quietly. As she surveyed the front row of the pews, her eyes landed briefly on Penny, who was looking at her darkly. She leaned into John and rested her head in the crook of his neck, watching Joseph as he spoke to his flock, his words full of conviction and power, his voice filling the room, gripping those before him. From behind her, she heard Brother James' radio crackle to life softly.
"James, are you… hear me? It's Nancy."
Mercy froze - she'd completely forgotten about Nancy, who revealed herself to be a member of the Project after the helicopter crash. John turned his head to the side so he could try and listen to the report, but Brother James had stepped towards the very back of the church, so John followed him, leaving her standing alone and watching them. Something was wrong - the colour drained from John's face and he looked at Joseph quickly, before approaching him hurriedly. Joseph stopped and looked at John calmly.
"It's time, isn't it?"
John nodded and Joseph closed his eyes, turning his face upward. There was that storm within him - the storm that unsettled her so much when he visited the Ranch. He smiled slowly, his face splitting into a wide smile as he opened his eyes and surveyed the congregation. "The time has come, my children. The Collapse is upon us. Gather your loved ones - we must march to Eden's Gate!"
She watched, confused, as the church was quickly emptied, Joseph's followers piling into the trucks along the road in Fall's End and driving North out of the town. She stood in the doorway to the church, watching as Brother James ushered his family into one of the trucks and spoke with John and Joseph briefly before driving away. John came back up the church steps and took her hand, pulling her towards the road.
"We have to go."
"Go where? What do you mean the Collapse is upon us? What happened?"
"Mercy, we have to go, now."
John bundled her into a pickup with Joseph, who was murmuring into his radio, a member of the Chosen driving and another in the tray with a rifle, following the other vehicles. She sat between the remaining Seed brothers, twisting in her seat and looking at the folk of Fall's End as they gathered in the street, cheering as the Project vehicles left. Some were firing guns into the air and yelling obscenities at them. Some were getting into their own vehicles and following them.
"Yeah, get the fuck out of here you pieces of shit!" one man yelled at them as they sped past him through an abandoned roadblock.
Joseph put his radio down and started to sing Amazing Grace to himself quietly, carefully studying the farms and mountains around them as they drove through Holland Valley. His hands were folded neatly in his lap and he seemed totally unfazed, much as he had when she'd tried to arrest him.
"Did you contact Faith?" John asked Joseph sharply. Joseph merely nodded in reply, still singing.
"What's going on?" she asked, watching more cars pull out of Project-controlled outposts as they passed them. She saw men and women syphoning gas into canisters and loading them into trucks, as well as stripping the buildings of everything they could carry. More Project vehicles sped past them, loaded with bags of grain, crates of apples and pumpkins, barrels of Bliss, people. Helicopters were flying towards them over Holland Valley too, one had what looked like a crate of apples attached to it.
She watched in horror as a pickup truck loaded with Bliss collided with a small black sedan, both cars exploding and rolling down an embankment away from the road. The Project's other vehicles didn't stop, didn't even slow down as they drove past, all heading in the same direction hastily.
"Put the radio on," John barked at the man driving, who followed the order without question.
"Russia has been attacked. Bombs hit Moscow this morning. No final word on casualties but experts are saying the numbers are in the millions. If there was any hope for peace, it's gone."
Two helicopters flew overhead as she sat in stunned silence in the back seat. Russia has been attacked. The Collapse had begun. Truly begun. The truck turned up a familiar steep road - they were heading towards the bunker. John helped her out of the truck when it arrived outside the bunker and she bunched the long skirt of her dress in one hand to start the descent into its depths behind Joseph when she heard people shouting behind her.
"Get back, sinner!" one Project member yelled, shoving a woman back with his rifle.
"Please!" the woman cried. "Please, you have to let us in! We heard the reports, please let us in!"
Joseph turned around and walked towards where she was standing with about half a dozen others that had followed them from Fall's End, all being kept in place by Project guards pointing their rifles at them. He reached out and cupped her cheek gently, swiping his thumb across her skin to brush away her tears.
"My child," he said softly. "You would not listen to us when we warned you about the Collapse. You would not pledge your lives to the Lord when we told you he would keep you safe. I'm sorry, but we cannot allow another snake into the Garden." He turned from her then and walked back up the stairs to the bunker entrance where John and Mercy were standing, watching quietly. He turned back and faced the small group of non-believers, looking down upon them, his face expressionless, devoid of all emotion. "Close the gate." he commanded, turning and walking into the bunker.
John pulled Mercy into the bunker as she watched the woman crumble to the ground. One of the men with her tried to go after Joseph but was gunned down where he stood. Joseph started to sing softly to himself as he made his way calmly down the stairs, a strange contrast to the panic of those around him, running to and fro, checking on family members, ensuring they brought the right items and supplies with them.
"Can't we bring them in?" she asked, stopping on the stairs.
John stopped and looked at her. "No," he said simply. "They wouldn't listen - they cannot change their minds now."
"What if something happens to them?" she asked, trying to pull him back up the stairs.
He was stronger and yanked her down to the step above his. "We won't listen to their crying," he quoted. "They had their chance to see the light."
She swallowed hard, thinking of the lyrics to the song. "You're either in or out, and you're stuck with what you chose," she mumbled. "There's absolutely nothing I can do?"
He shook his head and turned away, continuing his descent down the stairs. She followed in silence, weaving through the miscellaneous furniture on the landing - wardrobes, washing machines, other items that had been delivered and not yet processed, scattered around the big room. They passed people hurrying through the corridors, some frantically trying to find loved ones, others simply trying to move their possessions out of the way to let others through.
"We weren't prepared!" she heard one woman wail to who a man she assumed was her husband. Mercy paused to watch him embrace the woman, his hand stroking down her back comfortingly.
John nudged her forwards deeper into the bunker. She had no idea where she was now, being in an area she hadn't seen before. They eventually found their way to a large office that looked like a makeshift recording studio. Brother James was there already, his wife and children standing off to the side. The children looked petrified and clung to their mother like barnacles. Joseph stood in front of the camera as Anna embraced her warmly, pulling her to stand beside her to watch Joseph. The red "on air" light flickered on and Joseph looked into the camera. Mercy felt like she couldn't breathe - everything had happened so quickly, but everyone around her seemed so damn calm.
"My children," Joseph began, holding his arms out. "The time is upon us. We have been chosen, by God, to be the caretakers of his new garden. God has judged the sinners and found them unworthy to walk the path that we tread. We have all sacrificed, we have all fought, we have all suffered, and now we must march to Eden's Gate." He paused, walking toward the camera. "The Collapse has begun. Everything is unfolding according to God's plan. I am still here with you. When the world is ready to be born anew, we will step into the light. I am your Father, and you are my children. We will be safe, together, in Eden's Gate."
He walked away from the camera and fell to his knees, mumbling prayers with his head bowed. She watched as Anna and her children followed suit, then Brother James, and then John, who tugged her to kneel next to him. He bowed his head and was silent, hands clasped in front of him. Outside the office, she could hear people bustling about, moving items, organising others, asking for more information about what triggered the Collapse.
She wasn't sure how long they stayed on the floor while Joseph prayed. He finally stood and walked over to a microphone sitting on a desk at the back of the room. "Please assemble in the main hall, my children," he said before he reached for his radio.
"Faith, can you hear me?"
"Yes, Father. I'm here," Faith's soft voice came through the radio.
"Close your Gate, child," he said, eyes closed.
She didn't hear the rest of the conversation as he started walking away from them, heading out of the room and through the bunker. They all followed him into a large common area where hundreds of people were gathered, scores more pouring in. She stood with John behind Joseph as he climbed onto a table to be seen by all. Quiet fell over the room as all eyes turned towards him. "My children," he started again but was stopped by the sound of a massive explosion above them. The walls around them seemed to shake and the lights flickered. Many of the people in the room screamed and crouched low to the floor. Joseph held his hands up for calm and quiet as John pulled her close to him, his fingers digging almost painfully into her side. She looked up at him but his face gave nothing away as he surveyed the room coolly.
"John, what-" Another explosion sounded overhead and she pressed herself against him, squeezing his eyes shut briefly. "Fuck! John, what's going on?" she hissed at him.
He bowed his head toward her. "A nuclear strike was launched on the US about half an hour ago," he replied simply.
"Jesus fucki-"
"Shut up," he whispered fiercely, glancing at Joseph.
Joseph didn't appear to have heard them, as he was addressing the room again. "The Collapse is upon us," he was saying. "We knew this was coming, we have prepared, and we have prepared well."
"Did you know this was happening today?" she asked John quietly.
"No."
He paused as the rumble of a third explosion, sounding further away but just as terrifying as the first two, rippled through the bunker, like thunder. People glanced around nervously, some could be heard sobbing, others whispering words of comfort. The rumbling died down, and Brother James took the opportunity to clear his throat and started to sing. Mercy looked at him, his arms around his wife and children and he nodded at her, encouraging her to sing with him.
"Oh Lord, the Great Collapse, won't be our end," he sang, his voice getting louder and stronger. "When the world falls into the flames, we will rise again."
She tightened her grip around John's waist and joined in, thinking back on singing the same song as she raced a wounded John back to Joseph's compound. "Let the wars begin, we'll keep our pistols near. Our neighbours frail and thin, as they disappear…"
Joseph's face split into a wide grin as he joined in with John. "Let the chaos come, let our houses freeze. The lights will all go out, but we'll finally see…"
It didn't take long for almost everyone in the bunker to join in, singing together, holding each other close as they raised their voices high to drown out the sound of the world ending above them.
"Oh Lord the Great Collapse, won't be our end. When the world falls into the flames, we will rise again, we will rise again…"
When the song ended, Joseph resumed his speech, speaking of how their strength, courage and faith would get them through the Collapse, see them eventually walk into the Garden, new and pure, filled with God's love. Mercy turned to face John and wrapped her other arm around his waist as he pressed his lips to her forehead. This was it. This was the end. Or was it the beginning? The beginning of a whole new life, a new society, a new family. She closed her eyes as John pulled her in a little closer, Joseph's words echoing around her, and smiled to herself as she listened to him preaching to the converted.