25. to Sacrifice for Love
Hello readers, I hope last chapter wasn't too heart-breaking and I hope what isn't to come isn't too hard for some of you either. It was hard to write I can tell you that but I hope none of you are disappointed with the final results. There is an epilogue after this so stay tuned for that because it's going to be a good one. Always a pleasure writing for you guys, as ever I known nothing but Dita, and enjoy
Loki continued to hold Dita close to him, even after her breathing had slowed down. He was so very desperate to hold onto her.
"Here darling come back to bed, sleep it off, relax and in the morning your head will be clearer I promise".
She paused before nodding reluctantly. "Yeah, yeah I guess you are right."
He led her back to the bed and they resumed their places on opposite sides of it. Though this time they faced each other. Loki smiled faintly at her and she returned it.
"My intentions are not to manipulate your feelings for me, I hope you know that. This situation, with you and I and Steve, it's difficult for us all to deal with" he told her.
She nodded. "I know Loki, I know things are more difficult for you than anyone else in this set-up but I have to make a decision that ends this once and for all. No more sharing, no more doubts, no more uncertainty, just one choice".
Loki swallowed hard, his head told him that she would choose her betrothed, but his heart pleaded with her to choose him instead. He nodded and watched over her until she fell asleep again. He was not able to fall asleep so easily and instead stayed up watching Dita sleep, feeling it may be the last chance he got to do so without knowing she would return to her loving fiancé for sure, in eight months' time. Dark thoughts took over, he thought of keeping her there with him whether she liked it or not. Perhaps a spell, one of the stars he kept did have the power to make one become infatuated with the first person they saw afterwards. It wouldn't be love, but it would be something. She would want him, forever and always, she would happily be his wife, she would leave Steve for him, she would make love to him and only him. It wouldn't be true love, but Loki needed her and perhaps that was the only way he could keep her.
He looked over at the vials and potions and stared at the potion in question, deep red, constantly swirling around in the vial, like passion itself. All he needed to do was pour it into a drink, give it to Dita, and she would be his.
The next morning
Dita woke up first and stretched out before remembering what had happened the night before. She had dreamt of Loki in ways that she never thought she would, she had realised that her and Loki would never be the same again and her relationship with Steve had finally become compromised.
She turned over to see Loki wasn't even in the bed with her, he was nowhere to be seen.
"Good morning dearest, I trust you slept at least a little last night".
She turned around to see Loki at the side of the bed with a tray in his hands. On the tray were two drinks and a letter rolled up.
"I brought you a drink to help you wake up properly this morning and a letter came for you. I'm not sure if it's from SHIELD so I left it for you to read first, the guards said they would look at it afterwards" he told her.
She took the letter first and opened it up, scared something had happened back on Midgard that meant people were in danger, or worse, perhaps Steve had been hurt. As she read the first line, she recognised the handwriting straight away, it was from Steve.
Dear Dita,
Sorry it has taken me this long to write to you back, I'm sure you were anxious to hear if I was well, just as much as I wait to hear back from you. I am well, physically. Shield and Fury have had me working hard to catch up with modern culture as well as working to keep New York safe too. I am glad you are comfortable in Asgard, it does sound beautiful, I wish I was there to see it with you too. I am relieved to hear that you still look forward to making plans for our future and the wedding, I thought the beauty of Asgard might make you want to stay.
I want you to know that I would understand if you chose Loki over me.
He is a god, he can give you things I couldn't even dream of, he can take care of you and treat you like the goddess you are, he was right about all that.
I want you, and nobody else but you, I can't imagine my life without you, but above that, I can't imagine my life with you unhappy in it. If Loki is the one that makes you happy, he should be the one you chose.
I doubt Shield will ever loosen its hold on us completely, with you imprisoned in Asgard I understand true freedom isn't something you have experienced yet. So you have to look for your freedom in the one that gives you the love and happiness that makes you feel complete.
Though I love you with all my heart and hope with everything I have that I am the one that makes you happiest I want you to know that I will not think any less of you for not feeling the same way.
I will be here waiting for a reply, but take as long as you need to decide, I hope that at the end of these eight months we have left apart, we are reunited, but if not, I wish you every happiness in the world.
Yours in this world and the next,
Steve x
Dita shook as she read the letter and even Loki looked worried for her. "What is it my love?"
She frowned at him. "It's from Steve. I don't even know what this letter is about, it's like he's giving me up. He's saying that I should choose you because you're a god. I don't understand, it's only been two months and he's giving up on me".
Loki read the note himself and then looked at the drink. This was it, he could have Dita and not feel guilty for Steve, he was telling her to be his, he didn't need to worry about her choosing anymore.
He turned his gaze on Dita, who looked as if she had just been stabbed. A tear fell and he watched as the life seemed to leave her very eyes before him. Suddenly he didn't feel as happy as he believed he would be in the moment he could have Dita.
More tears fell from her eyes and Loki saw her reach for the drink he had made her. She placed the cup to her lips, but Loki pulled it away before she could.
"No, don't drink that. On second thought, it will wake you up too much, you will be more on edge than you already are" he told her as he put the drink down.
She frowned as Loki sat on the bed with her.
"I just cannot believe he would give up on us so easily, I know this is him wanting what's best for me, but he is best for me. I don't know what's happening anymore, I don't know what's going on, my head is everywhere and I don't know what to think anymore".
Loki stroked her hair gently and took a deep breath before he settled things.
"Go home to Steve."
She looked up at him puzzled. "What, we still have another eight months together".
Loki shook his head. "You are no longer my prisoner, I release you, you can return to Midgard if you wish, return back to Steve. In-fact no, I insist you return to Midgard, I will send word to Thor to get Steve to come here and you can return to earth with him."
She wiped her tears away. "Why are you doing this for me Loki?"
He gave her a small smile. "Because I love you, and when you love something that is not yours freely, you let it go. I'm letting you go because I love you enough to see your happiness and you will be happy when you are not compromised. I will no longer stand between you and the man you truly love".
Dita couldn't help but smile when Loki immediately sent for Thor to fetch Steve from Midgard for her. Then she felt guilty about leaving him, she stood up and ran to him as he returned from speaking to the guards.
"What about you?" she asked holding his hand.
"What about me my love?"
"What will you do? What about Thanos? What about your future?"
Loki shrugged. "Being under house arrest isn't so bad I suppose. Thanos will make himself known publically, I would let you know if anything went wrong my darling".
Dita could tell he was acting braver than he felt, she knew how lonely he would be without her.
"No, I won't abandon you, I can't just leave you alone here" she replied.
He shot her a stern look. "You don't have a choice. Though I may not be in the best position right now I am still a prince and I am ordering you to leave Asgard".
She pulled him into a hug. "I don't want you to be alone".
He kissed her head gently. "As long as you are alive and happy I will never feel truly alone Dita, always know that".
She shook her head. "No, no I propose a new deal. I visit you here in Asgard once a year, every year for a week. No exceptions, no excuses. We also get to write to each other and if you ever feel lonely, or you need to tell me something you order Thor to take you to Midgard to see me straight away, do you understand?"
He smiled and nodded. "That sounds like a better deal my darling".
"A part of me will always love you for doing this. I hope no matter what, you don't forget that" she told him quietly.
She leaned up towards him and placed a chaste kiss on his lips. He found it hard to reserve himself and not take her then and there for himself.
"You know I will always love you, now listen, go to the entrance hall. Thor should be back with Steve in a minute or two and you want to be there for him when he gets there" he told her.
She nodded and squeezed his hand affectionately before leaving his quarters to run to the entrance hall.
As Loki had said, Thor had just brought Steve to Asgard, he stood there, nervously waiting for Dita. As soon as they locked eyes she ran to him, running to him with such impact they fell to the ground together.
"Dita, what is going on, are you hurt? Did Loki hurt you? Thor just demanded I come and see you immediately" Steve asked, already frantic from worry.
"No, not at all. He's freed me, I can come home, with you Steve, we can finally marry". Tears of joy fell and Steve wiped them away as soon as they fell.
"Why would he do that?"
She kissed him gently. "Why does it matter now? We can be together Steve, Loki wanted me to be happy and he knows I am happiest with you. We can go home Steve, our home" she told him.
Loki watched on from a distance as Steve realised she was coming home and held her close. He watched on as the couple smiled at each other, cried tears of joy with each other and held each other as if it were their last day together, not their reunion.
As he watched on, he didn't fill with sadness, he smiled at the fact that she was so happy, it had been so long since he had seen her happy, in-fact, ever since he met her, her happiness had been tainted.
He knew one day, she would be his, a soldier doesn't live forever, especially one that dabbles in such danger every day. She would be happy with him until she grew bored or lonely once he had gone, if he ever went? That would be the time Loki would love her, and they would meet out of want for each other, not out of bargains and deals.
He was sure of it.
As the lovers stood up Dita caught sight of Loki and called him over to say goodbye again.
"Steve, don't you have anything to say to Loki?"
The soldier looked at the God and held his hand out for Loki to shake. The god of mischief obliged, knowing it would please Dita.
"Thank you for keeping her safe and happy. Thank you for letting her go, I am in your debt because of it" Steve said.
Loki nodded. "It was fine Captain Rogers. She was pleasurable company. Please, look after her well. She deserves nothing but the best and please don't ever take her for granted".
Steve shook his head. "I won't. You have my word on that".
Steve stepped to the side to allow Dita to say a proper goodbye to Loki.
She hugged him gently and then smiled at him. "No getting into trouble without me, alright? You take care of yourself and remember, Thanos, or anyone shows their face, and means you harm you call for our help. If things get too hard, you know I can be there for you. Thank you for everything Loki, thank you for showing me why I believed in you from the start".
He smiled. "You are the only one I will ever allow to get the best of me my love. Goodbye".
She held him tightly before letting go. "Goodbye Loki".
The god stared at her and Steve take each other's hands and walk back to the bi-frost bridge. He let a single tear fall to the ground as Dita looked back one final time at him before they travelled back to Midgard.
Loki turned away and saw Odin stood there.
"My youngest son. You cared greatly for her did you not?"
Loki nodded.
"You took good care of her while she was in your company. You showed promise, perhaps it will help redeem your actions. Dita took it upon herself to mention Thanos to me, and I promise you that his revenge will not be taken out on you. Whether you like it or not, we are family and I will not let him harm my family. You have Dita to thank for that. She made me realise that you were not the monster even you believe yourself to be".
Loki stared back at the space where Dita had stood at the bi-frost.
He already missed her, but he was so very thankful for the short time he had her for.
SO, that's it, the final chapter, well apart from the epilogue that I'm writing now. It really has been amazing writing this for you all and I hope none of you Loki fans were too upset, at least Loki got to redeem himself completely in this chapter, and Odin will go easier on him in the future. The epilogue will have Loki mentioned quite a lot in it, he won't be missed out, but it's an epilogue designed just to bring everyone together in a (I know some of you won't like this) happy ending. For those who like sad endings, sorry I can't deliver that, what can I say, we live in a cynical world so I like happy endings in stories. Until next time my lovely, lovely readers.