Chapter Twenty-Five

He put away the book he'd been reading when she came out of the bathroom, she got into the bed next to him and he put his arm around her and pulled her close. They were sitting side by side, her head resting on his shoulder and she didn't think of anything, she was simply happy, enjoyed their little moment.

"I've been waiting for this all day," he broke the silence and she smiled even thought he couldn't see her face.

There were days like the previous one when they had been guided by their passion. She almost blushed when she remembered what they'd done on that kitchen table, she should have just bought a new one right away. But tonight they'd actually eaten at that table again, as if nothing had happened, it was crazy, but also perfectly normal after all.

And there were days like that, when being in each other's company made them content already. The closeness of his body was enough, he breathed next to her, held her in his arms and at that moment she needed nothing more. These nights gave their relationship a deeper meaning. They weren't just lovers, they were companions. She knew she could rely on him, he gave her safety, steadiness and all the love she hadn't even thought she needed.

"Even if it doesn't always look that way, I love having you in my life," she confessed, just because she needed to say something that hadn't been said enough.

He only kissed the top of her head, but that kiss said more than any words could have. After another round of silence he began to talk.

"You know I've been thinking of what you said, that I'm away too much and I've been wondering what I could do to change that."

She could have told him they shouldn't have talked about that, but it was a comfort to know that he'd given weigh to her words just like she'd given it to his. She'd been thinking about their problems and trying to find solutions to them as well. Lauren was not a problem anymore and it had been surprisingly easy for her to bond with Lara, which she should have done much earlier. But there were still some issues for her to deal with, she just decided to take one step at a time.

"It's your job, your life, I can't ask you to change it, especially because I'm pretty much married to my job."

Maybe she shouldn't have used the word 'married', but she was telling the truth nevertheless. That's why it was so hard for her to change her life now that he was a part of it too. She'd been living her life, literally married to her job for such a long time. He on the other hand had tried real marriage as well, he had an advantage on this field. Even if his marriage had ended the way it had, he wanted to try it again with her and she admired him for that.

"I just know that if I keep on staying away for weeks, we'll always just try to make up for lost time and we'll never get ahead. And tying you to myself is not a solution to this problem, I don't know what I was thinking asking you to marry me."

"It was sweet of you to ask and I'm sorry I couldn't say yes," she felt the urge to look him in the eye, so she distanced herself from him and turned his way.

"No, you shouldn't feel sorry, all I wanted is to have you on my side and I still do, a ring wouldn't have made it any different. But I can make difference, I'm seriously considering giving up my current job and doing something else."

"Like what?"

"Teaching."

"Really?"

"Yes, does it sound stupid?"

"No, not at all."

"I could settle down for real, no frequent travels, no late night experiments. What do you think?"

"Are you sure it will satisfy you?"

"I'll never know if I never try."

If she was true to herself she kind of liked his proposition, because it once again proved that he was ready to do anything for their relationship and she loved him even more for that. She was willing to change too, she'd been trying already and it was obviously noticed. She would never have considered giving up her job though, which made her appreciate his sacrifice even more.

But she wanted to make sure he didn't plan to do it for her alone, but for himself as well. Even though she knew if it hadn't worked out he could have always turned back to his old job. His name would always be a guarantee, he was one of the best on his field for a reason. Maybe it would work out for him, maybe not, only time would tell, but it was reassuring that there was always a way back. For her there wouldn't be. Had she once decided to give up everything it would have meant giving it up forever and even thinking about the possibility was heartbreaking.

"I just don't want you to make a rushed decision based on something I said in the heat of an argument."

"I can understand why it bothers you."

"But you shouldn't give up something you love because of me."

"Why?"

She hesitated, the truth might have sounded cruel from her mouth, but she still decided to go with it, because that was the honest thing to do.

"Because I wouldn't be able to do the same," her eyes fell and she even bent her head a little, she was ashamed to look into his eyes.

"I haven't asked you to," he said softly and his tone made her look at him again.

"But what if you will one day?"

"Then you will just say no."

There was something funny in the way he emphasized the words and she just couldn't help chuckling slightly, but she made sure not to offend him with it.

"We are quite a pair," she smiled and he just pulled her back to their previous position as if nothing had happened, "I don't know how you can put up with me."

"I'm just lucky to have you," he replied and it made Diane think of her conversation with Will in the morning, he had been right after all.

"No, I am the lucky one," she whispered.