Porcelain and Warm Honey
A/N
Hello? I hope you don't hate me too much to read (and hopefully enjoy) this new chapter. This is not as long as the prior, don't worry, and I actually really liked writing it, so I truly hope you'll like reading it :D
As always thank you so much for your response to this story, I still have more to offer, so I really hope you'll continue this journey with me :)
Sorry for mistakes, I'm only little me... :D
Picking up right where we left them, *smiles nervously*.
Disclaimer: You know, I'm under the impression that everyone hates doing these... Not. Mine.
Chapter 25
"What?" he just said and his voice shook. His brain had gone numb. He was not able to perceive anything.
"We need to break up," Kurt stated again and this time he looked down to his hand that held the little sliver band. His jaw was tense and his face harsh. To anyone other than Blaine, and maybe his dad, he would have looked mad, frankly rather scary, but all Blaine could focus on was all the emotions he knew was behind that façade.
Kurt slowly handed him the silver band, but Blaine refused to take it back. Suddenly all Nick had told him that day came crashing back, and it tore his heart apart. Maybe he did have a point with Blaine's insecurities, except Nick was ruefully wrong about one thing; Blaine had had every reason to be.
"No," he said, deciding to take this calmly. He would not freak out. He felt like he was in a nightmare. "No, I won't take that back. We don't need to... break up, what you need is to tell me what Trent told you that made you react like this."
Kurt blinked hard at Blaine's words, as if they were causing him pain. When he kept still Blaine came closer and grabbed his arms in a firm, but gentle grip. "Kurt? Love, what is wrong?" At the endearment Kurt seemed to flinch slightly. He kept his voice soft and calm as he spoke. "What did he say?"
"It-" for a second it was as if Kurt was deciding something in his head. Then he spoke, with the monotone voice, "It's not important right now, Blaine."
Blaine didn't know if it was because Kurt used his whole name in that icy way or because of the obvious reasons that he scoffed. "Of course it matters, Kurt," he said. "He said something, didn't he? Kurt, please, what did he say?" his voice was slowly getting more frantic. He had never seen Kurt like this and it was scaring the hell out of him. "Look at me," he then said quietly.
Very slowly Kurt obliged, exhaling and then focused his glazed eyes on Blaine behind the glasses. And then, making Blaine feel like he would collapse in relief, the façade broke completely down and Kurt simply looked completely frightened and guilty.
"Tell me," he whispered. He was closer now, his eyes boring themselves into Kurt's devastated, cyan, ones, forcing them to stay focused on him, to not built that façade up again.
Slowly Kurt opened his mouth then closed it again. Then in a quivering whisper, so different from the monotone one, he said, "I know why Trent is so quiet all the time."
"Why?" Blaine asked and for some reason he felt that he wouldn't like the answer.
"His cousin died," Kurt said quietly. When Blaine seemed confused he added, "Of cancer."
Blaine felt his guts churn and shook his head in disbelief. He needed a talk with Trent, and soon. "I'm very sorry to hear that, Kurt, I really am, but- but his cousin is not you. You can't- why are you doing this?"
For a moment Kurt looked at him like he didn't understand what Blaine had just said. "Why am I- don't you get anything? I'm a horrible person, Blaine, that's what's wrong. I needed a person in grief to tell me how selfish I am before I got it!" He was talking louder now, almost yelling, and sounded so devastated that it physically ached in Blaine's chest to hear. "I need to stop being- I have to break up with you, don't you see that?"
"I don't- Kurt please, not again, how many times do I have to tell you-"
"Don't," He was yelling now, making Blaine flinch. "I can't keep doing this to you, for the idiotic God, who I still believe is a jerk's, sake. I am selfish, it's not right. Trent was right. I don't know how I can look you in the eye."
At the words Blaine felt a flaming anger towards Trent, and he would felt like punching something, except he couldn't move, paralyzed with shock and dread. The last sentence had hit him square in the face, making his every organ retreat in a cringe.
"Kurt, please-"
"Don't you remember anything you told me at that party?" Kurt asked. His voice was still loud, but at least he wasn't yelling anymore. His eyes were dry. Blaine didn't know if that was a good or bad thing.
At the question he felt himself shrink. "Please, I was drunk, I say the stupidest things-"
"No, you say the truth, Blaine," Kurt said. He now just sounded horribly tired. "And I had to hear you say it out loud, and then get confronted with it, to do something. Don't you get it? I'm weak! I'm not worth it-"
"Don't say that," Blaine said. He felt himself getting angrier.
"It's the truth, Blaine! That's my point exactly we have to realize the freaking truth!" he was now shouting again, though he sounded more exhausted than mad.
"I'm well fucking aware of the truth, Kurt!" Blaine yelled back. "I am aware that I can lose you, that it could be a truth, but would you stop saying that you're not worth it, like I would mess up my life like that for the hell of it. Would you just stop always dictating me and telling me what to do, telling me to be a fucking coward! This is my choice, and I chose you, I choose you, don't you get that? Don't you get that you're worth everything to me?" his voice now softened a bit and he felt his eyes sting and his jaw hurt. "Is my judgment really that indifferent to you?"
For a second Kurt just kept staring at him, his face struggling to pull up the façade again. When he couldn't his eyes filled with tears and suddenly he was in Blaine's arms, boring his face down into Blaine's neck, his shoulders shivering horribly with suppressed sobs. Blaine had never been faster to wrap his arms around him and hold him close.
He slowly felt his heart calm down. He felt like he had been saved in the last minute from getting crushed by his world collapsing down on him.
He slowly stroked Kurt's back and rested his head against his boyfriend's. "It's okay, love. Shh, I'm sorry, it's okay."
"Don't say that," Kurt sniveled into his neck. "Don't say you're sorry. Please."
And Blaine just obliged and kept quiet, swaying them slowly, until Kurt had calmed down a bit.
"I'm sorry, B," he sniffed after some time and lifted his head from his shoulder. "I just… B, I don't know how I can keep doing this. I feel so…"
"I know," Blaine reassured, framing his face with his hands, his eyes still boring into his. "I know. But please, Kurt, stop thinking that keeping me away from you will help that. You know just as well as I that that will only make it worse."
Kurt just sniffed some more and kept looking at him with a dubious look in his eyes. He knew he was right, though.
"I eh," Blaine said, "I wanted to give you this at dinner on Saturday, but I guess now is just as good."
Kurt looked at him inquiringly. His eyes were still red and puffy and his mouth was screwed in a sad expression. Blaine kissed the side of his mouth before continuing. "If you want it now of course. It's your second gift."
At that Kurt looked down to his hand were he still held the silver ring. Blaine still felt so wrong when he saw the band missing from his finger, already. He slowly reached out for it with a questioning look and Kurt gave it to him. With a small smile he held out his hand for Kurt's, and for one horrible second he thought Kurt hesitated, but the boy just kept looking at him with those big, red eyes, and held out his hand instinctively. Carefully Blaine slid the ring onto his finger again, and he felt himself relax noticeably. Kurt's let out a small breath as well, and he sniffed one last time before smiling a very small smile. Blaine smiled back uncertainly, still clutching his hand, not daring to let go.
"Actually," Blaine then said and retrieved a little silvery figure from his pocket. "The jeweler who sold me the ring gave me an idea." Kurt looked at him curiously now. "He said I could get one of these for free when I bought the ring." He showed the little sliver piece, and Kurt inspected it closer. It was a pendant to a bracelet and it was formed as a tree, an oak tree to be more exact. He let out a little amused noise, smiling at the memories flooding into his mind instantly. At the noise Blaine felt his heart flutter in relief. "I saw it in a magazine in the shop and it all made sense," Blaine said and Kurt looked at him inquiringly. "This summer before the surgery, we are gonna try new things, things you haven't tried before. And every time I will buy a new pendant as a reminder."
Kurt raised his eyebrows and a small smile graced his lips, though there was still a weary edge to it.
"This has something to do with the 'live while we can' thing, hasn't it?" he asked carefully and his voice still sounded weak.
Blaine's smile turned a bit weary and he nodded. "Yeah, it has."
Kurt nodded slowly and he looked down at the pendant as Blaine linked it onto the bracelet around Kurt's wrist.
"But… do you think your dad will agree to postpone the surgery for so long?" he asked quietly.
Blaine looked at him with uncertainty in his eyes but nodded slowly. "I don't think a few weeks will do a big difference. I just- I want you to look at the bracelet before you go into surgery and think about the memories. So you have something to motivate you." When Kurt looked at him in confusion he continued.
"After watching you for these past months, I've begun believing… that recovering from a disease- I think that mentality plays a big role. I didn't see you before I came into your life, but I've been told, by Burt, Carole, you that you were quite miserable. Your condition was… bad. But you changed. And I'm not saying that was my work solely, but when I met you, you got better, and- and when your friends came back you got even better. I guess I'm just saying that… the way I'm… coping with all this," he hesitated and wetted his lips, looking down from Kurt's eyes briefly, "is to believe that I can help… somehow." Kurt's face flickered with a fond smile, and his eyes were glazed with tears again. "So for now I'm going to make you the happiest you've ever been. And I'll hope that you'll have enough… will, to survive. That your body won't give up, 'cause subconsciously you hear my voice screaming at you to get back to me." Kurt hiccoughed with choked laughter and Blaine felt his lips on his own before he saw them.
Feeling Kurt's lips on his again made something inside him click, and he first realized then how scared he had been in those few minutes, how terrified Kurt had made him. He felt Kurt's tears on his cheek, and his own eyes suddenly stung painfully. He tightened his arms around him instinctively in a soothing manner, comforting him.
"I won't give up," Kurt croaked against his lips when they pulled away. "I promise. I won't. This is perfect, the best idea."
"I'm glad you think so," Blaine said with a strained voice, not knowing what to do besides holding him close.
They stood like that for some time, Kurt's face hidden into Blaine's neck and Blaine holding him close, his own face resting on his shoulder, again swaying them slightly in a slow dance.
When Kurt pulled away, his eyes were red and his face scrunched up looking somewhere between utterly grateful and guilt-stricken.
"I'm sorry, B," he sniveled. "I'm just so sorry I'm putting you through this, I'm selfish, I can't-"
"Shh," Blaine said and hugged him again. "Don't say that, Kurt, you have nothing to be sorry for. It's okay. We're gonna be okay. You are not selfish. You're so strong, love."
Kurt just shook his head and sniffed. "I'm really not, B," he whispered brokenly.
"Yes, you are," Blaine insisted and looked at him in his eyes deeply again. "I don't get how you see yourself. Don't you see that you were just willing to break up with me, don't you see how unselfish that makes you?"
Kurt kept shaking his head and dried his eyes. "I don't think I could've gone through with it," he sniveled. "I think two days would pass and then I'd be standing on your doorstep begging for you to take me back. I really am weak."
"Shut up, would you," Blaine said and held him closer. "Stop calling my boyfriend weak." When Kurt chuckled Blaine felt like jumping in victory, only he couldn't let go of the cyan-eyed boy in his arms.
"Your judgment does matter you know?" Kurt then said after a few moments of silence. Blaine looked at him with a fond smile in his eyes. "It does. I'm sorry if you think it doesn't. You always matter."
"You are my life, you know that?" Blaine said back and Kurt sucked in a breath of air. "Don't take that the wrong way, I just… we're in this together, I believe I can help you, so just please- please don't shut me out, just, know that you can never do that to me again, please? I can't stand that."
"I'm sorry," he whispered and his eyes started watering again.
"No, don't cry, please," Blaine hurried to say and kissed his cheekbone softly. "I just… Kurt, I know the reality, okay? I can cope with that, I've learned to. But… I can't cope if you- if we- I can't."
Kurt nodded and his hands stroked Blaine's cheeks gently. His eyes were dripping with tears again. He exhaled and tipped his head onto Blaine's shoulder. "I'm really- I'm really, really sorry, B."
"It's okay, love," Blaine soothed kissing his head where it rested on his shoulder. "It's all right. I love you."
"I love you, too," Kurt whispered, his sniffing slowly fading. Blaine slowly pulled back and smiled at him softly. He kissed away a last tear just beneath Kurt's eye and cupped his face gently, letting his thumbs stroke his cheeks. Kurt's hands had slid down to Blaine's chest and torso and he was clutching the hem of his blazer.
"And thank you again," he whispered. "I kinda feel like a crappy boyfriend now, all the stupidly amazing gifts you've given me considered."
"Shush," Blaine just retorted. "I don't need anything but you."
At that Kurt looked down and his face scrunched up in a troubled grimace. "B," he said quietly. "B, you need to… you have to be able to… cope if I… you have to promise me."
"I promise, okay, Kurt," Blaine said and though he knew a huge part of him was lying, he somehow also knew another one wasn't – if that made any sense. He would, he had to, be able to survive if Kurt couldn't. Memories from so long ago overwhelmed him, from back in the hospital when Kurt and Blaine had just met, and Kurt made Blaine promise that he wouldn't get too attached. Blaine had lied back then, both to Kurt and himself. He had to stop lying now. "I- I have Wes and David, and Nick and Jeff. They'll help me like they have before." Kurt nibbled his bottom lip and kept his gaze to the ring around his left ring finger. Blaine placed a hand under his chin and locked their eyes. "I promise, love. It'll- it will hurt like crazy but… I'll find a way to cope, I always do."
"I never wanted to hurt you," Kurt said and took Blaine's hand from his chin, clutching it painfully. "It was never my intention, B."
"I know," Blaine said and smiled at him soothingly. "Of course I know. You're such a good person, Kurt. That's one of the countless reasons I love you. I still don't know how to express just how much."
Kurt chuckled and shook his head. "Always the cheeseball."
Blaine smiled and he finally recognized the boy in front of him. "I'm serious," he said. "I… I have a thing, I got it from my father, I'm guessing. I express myself best through things and songs. I don't particularly like that about myself, but…" he shrugged. "C'est la vie." Kurt smiled. "I don't want you to get that… thing, too. I like how you're so much better at expressing yourself through words. And other things," he added only half teasing, and Kurt bit his lip.
"Where's Jeff, anyway?" Kurt mumbled and Blaine smirked.
"Nick said we had the room tonight. They have plans. If we're clever we do not disturb them."
"Couldn't dream of it," Kurt whispered and came closer, closing the gap between them as he pressed his lips to his meaningfully. Blaine couldn't do anything but return the kiss enthusiastically, his hands now roaming over Kurt's clothed back underneath the blazer.
He felt his heart expand slightly as Kurt placed his left hand on the side of his neck, urging him to come closer, and he felt the cool silver against his skin. The thought of never having that again, those few seconds… Blaine shivered involuntarily.
When Kurt felt it, he pulled back slightly so their lips were only barely touching. "You ok?" he breathed. His other hand was now placed on his chest, clutching his shirt very distractingly.
"Of course I am," Blaine whispered and tugged a few strays of hair behind Kurt's ear. "Just," he hesitated. "Just never do that again. Just… don't."
Kurt's eyes were so bright, yet so dark, when he nodded. "I'm so-"
"I know," Blaine cut him off and kissed him again. Against his lips he muttered, "I know, stop apologizing."
And Kurt did, kissing him again instead. His mouth was hard against his, insisting. A promise. Blaine was quick to hold him even closer, his hands firm and desperate around his slim waist.
The kiss quickly intensified. Blaine's arms were pushing Kurt's blazer downwards but the boy pulled back for a second, making him stop immediately.
"Could we just- slow?" Kurt said breathlessly. His eyes were dark and his lips a delicious red. "I need to, feel…" he hesitated.
"I know," Blaine just nodded, once again understanding instantly. "Of course, love." And he connected their lips again, gentler this time, savoring the so soft lips against his, tasting the sweet, familiar taste.
God, the thought of never having this again… he felt his heart jerk in his chest, painfully, and he knew he had to memorize everything, if-
He let his lips travel to the soft skin on his boyfriend's jaw and neck, and he tried to notice everything at once; the salty, though somehow sweet taste, the way Kurt's breath would hitch when Blaine kissed that special spot behind his ear, how his hands were holding him closer, slowly fastening their grip.
They slowly unpeeled their clothes, and Blaine made sure to connect every inch of exposed skin with his lips, remembering the exact shade of his porcelain skin, every exact shape and reaction when Blaine kissed him.
When they were both completely bare, except for the glasses on Kurt that Blaine found completely irresistible at the moment, he peppered small, wet kisses to his chest; the small nearly-not-there hairs, the goose bumps that rose on his skin where Blaine lips and tongue had just been, the way Kurt's breathing got heavier when he would get too low. Languidly the kissed up to his collar and neck and whispered in between kisses. "So, damn, perfect." Kurt couldn't do anything but whine in response.
He slowly opened his cyan eyes from where he lay beneath him and looked up into Blaine's amber ones (the exact deep blue and greenish color, where it changed color and how they glinted like crystals). For a few moments they just lay there, eyes fixated on each other, hands stroking bare skin.
They had all the time in the world. They could take it slow. And they did. They moved slowly, hands tracing and eyes admiring.
And Blaine kept his head up, forcing his eyes open. He had to remember, he had to keep this in his memory forever.
How Kurt locked his legs around Blaine's waist, pulling him closer and his entire body reacted instantly as he gasped in pleasure. How his hands buried themselves in Blaine's hair again, tugging. Those few seconds Blaine let his forehead fall to Kurt's neck, fitting perfectly together, like two puzzles. He inhaled sharply – how, even in the heat of the moment, he would still smell of the sweetness of his cologne mixed with sweat, how he could feel his frantic pulse and hear his breathing so close.
They moved slowly until Blaine wasn't able to anymore, his body too desperate and frantic, when the coiling in his stomach nearly made him dizzy.
He lifted his head from the crook of Kurt's neck and let his hands frame the beautiful face he knew so well – so beautiful that he was almost thrown over the edge just by watching him.
The way his mouth was slightly agape and he would let out small noises or gasps, or breathe out Blaine's name, making a shiver of absolute bliss run down his spine. He was never loud like Blaine, his gasps or outbursts was quiet, like it was just for Blaine to hear. The thought was downright erotic to him.
How he scrunched up his nose just a tiny bit, how his eyebrows were pulled together in a glorious frown.
How his eyes were almost completely closed, but every once in a while they would flutter in pleasure or just open to look back at him. He was the most stunning boy Blaine had ever seen in his life, and, how he hoped, the last one, too.
What in the end threw him over the edge wasn't how Kurt's legs fastened around him or how his grasp on his hair got nearly painfully tight, it wasn't the slightly louder noises, but how, just when Kurt's body caved in, too, he opened his eyes and locked them with Blaine's honey ones.
Like a sea storm, Blaine thought, and then he had to close his eyes, and he was pretty sure he saw stars…
"Perfect," he whispered against Kurt's neck, his body collapsed on top of him. "You're perfect."
Kurt smiled dazedly at him when he looked up, and shook his head slightly. "I love you," he just said back, and let his legs slide down Blaine's to settle in between them. Blaine smiled and pulled himself upwards to rest his forehead against Kurt's, kissing his nose in the act. He let his hand wander to his side, drawing small patterns, and Kurt closed his eyes, a small smile gracing his lips. "You're so beautiful like this, you know that?" Blaine whispered against his lips and Kurt chuckled.
"What, sweaty and spent?" he muttered, his lips touching Blaine's when pronouncing the s'es.
"Exactly," Blaine mumbled back and he broke off Kurt's small laugh when he kissed him lazily. There really wasn't anything like post-sex kisses, lazy and slow, no lust or expectations, just feeling; feeling each other's lips against each other, feeling how perfectly well they moved together, how their hands wandered everywhere, not intimately, just to simply feel.
Eventually their lips broke apart and for some time they just lay there wrapped up in each other, Blaine still taking everything in, every little perfect detail. How the silver band on Kurt's finger would brush against Blaine's hip when he stroked his sides. How soft his skin was. How melodically and beautiful his voice sounded in his ear.
Eventually, when Blaine's brain felt like it had come back from it's high, and it actually was capable of functioning again, something struck him. With a careful voice he said, "What- was it Trent said again?"
For a second Kurt tensed in his arms, and Blaine immediately tightened them around him.
"That, that I was selfish and he didn't understand how I could look myself in the eye-"
"No, not that part, please don't repeat that, it's- it was not what I meant, I'm sorry," Blaine said closing his eyes, beating himself up internally.
Kurt kissed his closed eyelid affably. "What did you mean, beautiful?"
"It's not- it doesn't matter," he said shaking his head slightly as if disorientated. When he opened his eyes, though, Kurt smiled soothingly.
"Hey, it's okay, what did you mean?" he said gently, his hand sliding from his hip to his chest, resting there. Blaine shivered, and not just because of the cool metal.
"I just, you said that someone- died?" Blaine said, his voice soft and cautious.
Kurt nodded, clearly not getting where this was heading. "Yeah, his cousin?"
Blaine's brow furrowed in confusion and tried to remember. He slowly shook his head. "No," he said sounding halfway certain. "No, that can't be-"
"Look, B, it's not like it would be unusual to keep it quiet that she was sick, maybe it was just too hard to talk about? Maybe they were- maybe they were close?" Kurt's voice had gotten that rough edge again and Blaine quickly let his hands draw patterns on his skin to soothe him.
"No, I mean," he said, still confused. "I mean that none of his parents has siblings. That's why they're so loaded. Trent mentioned it to me once long ago, just when I had started at Dalton, I think."
"Well, couldn't it just be a great-cousin or something?" Kurt asked logically.
"But that's the thing. The reason he told me- we talked about how his dad's parents both had lost all their siblings in world war two – they were Dutch, you see." Blaine racked his mind trying to remember. "Their families were close and they were the only survivors. And they only got one child, too afraid of losing others, and moved to America. And- and his mother's parents… well I don't remember the exact reason but I think he said something about her parents having a weird 'only one' rule or something. I just remember he mentioned that he had almost no extended family and he felt really lonely sometimes, because of that. I remember relating."
At that Kurt's brow furrowed as well. "Are you- are you sure that was Trent?" he asked, just as confused as his boyfriend now.
"Positive," he nodded.
"That's really- that doesn't make sense?" Kurt said. "Don't you think he just said that he felt lonely because he didn't have a connection with them whatsoever?"
"Yeah, but why would he get so upset about his cousin if he had never spoken to her?" Blaine said reasonably.
"I don't know," Kurt mumbled with a thoughtful look on his face.
"Why would he do that?" Blaine asked.
"Well," Kurt hesitated. "Does it really matter? What he said was true, I shouldn't-"
"Don't start again, please," Blaine said with a firm look. "I thought we'd been through that now."
"I know, I'm sorry," he whispered back, closing his eyes briefly. Blaine kissed his cheek softly.
"And you need to stop apologizing, as well," he teased, making Kurt smile slightly and open his cyan eyes.
"Will I ever satisfy you?" he said teasingly back.
"You always do, love," Blaine just said and kissed him again swiftly. Kurt smiled when he pulled away.
Blaine's smile faded, though, and his face became wondering again. He couldn't keep his thoughts from Trent at the moment. Kurt understood instantly.
"What do you think has plagued him if it wasn't his cousin, then?" he said silently, pulling away from Blaine's tight embrace. He turned on his side facing him, his head resting on his hand, weight supported by his elbow.
"That's exactly what I don't get," Blaine said dryly, his eyes unfocused. "He's always been so chipper and happy, always reminded me of a little kid. I always admired how he could be so cheerful despite everything life tossed at him – a bit like you, actually." Kurt smiled and playfully shrugging an, 'I know, I'm fabulous' kind of shrug. "But then he just kinda switched, so sudden. Just around when-"
"Oh, God!" Kurt gasped, his eyes widened, cutting Blaine off. "Of course! How could I be so stupid? God, it's obvious!"
"Eh, excuse me?" Blaine asked confused. "What's obvious?"
"He's- He's in love with you!" Kurt exclaimed. "It's so obvious, of course!"
"How- in love with- I don't think so, Kurt," Blaine said dubiously.
"Why, of course you don't think so, but that's mostly because you can't tell if anyone is interested in you, if you tried."
At that Blaine scoffed quietly and mumbled, "You're one to talk," but Kurt was already talking.
"The way he always looked at you! Always made me so damn possessive." Blaine smirked at that. "Don't you see it? He got depressed exactly when we announced we were together. He practically said it earlier! And how he flinch whenever I touch you- oh God, it wasn't because he was afraid I would hurt you, it was because he was jealous." Blaine's smile had faded now and realization hit him hard. Of course. It really was obvious.
"That's- that's why he always- God," Blaine said with wide eyes. "Poor Trent."
"I know. If I had just known…" Kurt said quietly, his face scrunched up pitifully. Blaine knew what he was thinking; the mere thought of that being him…
"We need to talk to him," Blaine said decidedly.
"What, the both of us?" Kurt asked incredulously. "Way to rub it in, B."
"Well, we'll keep down the PDA," Blaine said dismissively. "I can't believe he would do this on his own – hurting you like that to, what, break us up, so he could have me? No, he wouldn't do that. He's too sweet. I have to hear why he did this."
Kurt nodded. "Yeah. I know. I didn't get it at all, either. He was so- strange. I had never seen him like that. He looked so- God, he looked so guilty," he said his eyes widening again, as he realized something else. "I didn't notice because I was so messed up, but- how could I miss it?"
Blaine looked at him worriedly. "You think someone put him up to this?" he asked warily.
"I don't know who-" Kurt said but stopped mid sentence. Of course he knew. They both sat up instantly. "Sebastian," they said in unison, like a curse word.
Blaine was shaking his head, enraged. "That son of a bitch," he said in disgust. "What the hell is his angle in this? What the hell does he want?" he was louder now, almost yelling and Kurt shook his head in disbelief beside him.
"I really don't know," he said, lost.
"How can a person just be so utterly and completely mean? What happened in his life that made him so vicious? I need to confront him on this, I can't-" Blaine was talking louder now and Kurt quickly moved closer, afraid he would break something if he didn't calm down.
"Hey," he said, shuffling over to him on his knees, framing his face in his hands. "I don't know. We couldn't possibly know. And there's nothing we can do, except ignoring him and show him he can't hurt us."
"What are you kidding, we need to confront him!" Blaine exclaimed, though his voice was lower now.
"If this was an ordinary bully I'd agree, but he's not," Kurt said, his voice soft. "I think what he wants is to get noticed. I think that's why he does this. I think it'd be cleverest to just- ignore him. Come back even stronger. We're the good guys, right? And the good guys take the high road."
Blaine inhaled deeply and closed his eyes for a few seconds, calming down. He was right. Of course he was right. He bumped their foreheads together in defeat and nodded. "Why are you so reasonable?" he asked quietly and Kurt chuckled softly. "I love you, know that?"
"I think I got it by now, yes," Kurt said with an amused smile and pecked his lips, then pulling a bit back.
"We should still talk to Trent, though, right?" he asked.
"Yeah, I think that'd be wise," Kurt nodded. "I don't want him to hurt because of something he was manipulated into doing."
For a few seconds Blaine just looked, a small smile on his lips, and his eyes warm honey. It as always made Kurt blush. "What?" he asked.
"How could you ever believe you're not a good person?" Blaine said. He really couldn't make sense of it.
Kurt huffed and shook his head in oblivion. "So you said we had the whole night for ourselves?" he just asked, scooting down a bit to lay his head on Blaine's chest.
"Yep. Unless some teacher decides to check up on us, then we'll be screwed," Blaine said and Kurt chuckled. "What do you wanna do?"
Kurt shrugged and smiled up at him. "I think it's been way too long since we just saw a movie together and cuddled. Like ordinary couples do."
"Are you referring that we are not an ordinary couple?" Blaine said, feigning offence.
"No, I'm stating it, sweetheart," Kurt just retorted shortly and Blaine's chest vibrated with laughter. "Normal people at least date before jumping into everything at once."
"Hey, I am making you dinner on Saturday, remember?" Blaine said.
"Mmh. Well, I wasn't complaining, anyway," Kurt just mumbled, and lifted his body up a bit to kiss Blaine on the lips sweetly. Blaine smiled when they broke apart and for a moment Kurt just seemed to watch his eyes, fascinated.
"So what do you wanna watch, beautiful?" he mumbled and Kurt pursed his lips in thoughtfulness.
"I feel like Moulin Rouge," he finally said and Blaine's eyes lit up and he nodded eagerly. "And I coincidentally took it with me from home. But you're gonna go get it, 'cause I'm not getting out of this bed ever again."
Blaine just shook his head and chuckled fondly, taking off Kurt's glasses to place in front of his own eyes. "I surely hope not." Kurt stuck out his tongue at him. When he got up, he tried to smack him in the ass, but missed and hit his lower back.
"Missed, love," Blaine sang and Kurt just rolled his eyes and tried to get comfortable on the bed but found it both cold and unpleasant without his boyfriend there.
Blaine quickly found the DVD and rolled the TV they had in the room over to Kurt's bed, placing it so they both could watch comfortably. He let it load while getting into bed again, wrapping his arms around Kurt from behind and hooking his chin on the cyan-eyed boy's shoulder. Kurt lifted his arms up behind him, and snatched the glasses from him, putting them on himself. Blaine laughed and kissed his cheek affably.
Both males smiled through the first part of the movie, singing along to the songs and coming with small comments every now and then. Blaine rediscovered how much he loved it. They had used so much time getting to know each other's bodies and lips, and while he loved that as well, he remembered how Kurt also was his best friend, and he enjoyed talking to him, getting to know all his little quirks. It all somehow reminded him just how lucky he was.
And when 'Come What May' played Blaine whispered, "We're gonna sing that to our wedding, you know?"
And Kurt's breath hitched, but Blaine just smiled and grabbed Kurt's hand in his, tracing the ring's cool surface with his thumb. His arms were still around his waist, and he felt the firm flesh of his stomach under their intertwined hands. His skin was so soft.
"I agree," Kurt then said suddenly a few seconds after, startling Blaine. He smiled widely and kissed his jaw, softly singing the words.
"Oh, come what may," he half sang, half whispered into his ear, "I will love you until my dying day."
And Kurt joined him a small smile on his lips. "Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place."
"Come what may. Come what may, I will love you, until my dying day," They sang together and Kurt chuckled, his eyes watering.
"What?" Blaine whispered amused. "Are you crying?" He voice quickly got alarmed.
"No!" he hurried to reassure, twisted his head in an awkward position to face him. He smiled, though his eyes were blank. "No, I just," he shook his head, "I just always dreamt about singing that song at my wedding, it's like- it's like you read my mind sometimes. I used to say that singing that song with someone would be more intimate than sex. Of course I had no idea what I was talking about back then," he chuckled and Blaine smiled now, too.
"Well, don't you still believe that?" he asked, his voice calm and soft.
He hesitated before answering. "Yeah," he then muttered and Blaine kissed him swiftly, making him blush slightly.
"Then we will," he said determined and Kurt smiled at him a bit weary-eyed. "If not in this life then the next. I promise." And at that Kurt huffed out a little laugh. He smiled at him soothingly and squeezed him, still hugging him from behind. And when he looked like he was about to say something, Blaine just nodded and said quietly, "I know." And Kurt smiled gratefully and rested his head against his temple again.
Kurt cried in the end when Satine died, and Blaine dried off the tears falling on Kurt's cheeks, kissing the spot where his neck and shoulder met. At the act Kurt smiled and squeezed the hands that were still entwined against his stomach.
And when the movie ended and the credits rolled, they kept lying together, arms never leaving each other. They had all night.
Finding Trent was harder than they thought. Every time they thought they spotted him, he would disappear out of nowhere again.
"Of course he's avoiding us," Kurt said with a sigh. It was Thursday afternoon and they had been trying to talk to him for two days. "He thinks we hate him."
"Well, he does have a reason to," David said. They were seated in the study hall, all six of them, otherwise it was empty.
"Yeah, well, it wasn't his fault, right?" Nick said reasonably and Blaine and Kurt nodded.
"No. I'm 100 percent sure that Sebastian manipulated with him like he did with B," Kurt said. He and Blaine were seated in the sofa; Blaine leaned against the armrest, his legs draped over Kurt's lap.
"I hate him," Blaine said and rubbed his eyes with one hand, as if the hate actually was causing him stress. Kurt sighed as well and massaged Blaine's shin gently.
"I'm sure you'll get him," Wes shrugged. "He can't avoid you forever, right?"
"Yeah, but he's miserable," Kurt said. "Even more than before. And he doesn't need to."
"Have you tried to go to his dorm?" Jeff asked. He and Nick were in the love seat.
"Of course they have, idiot," Nick said.
"Trent's roommate always say he's out," Blaine said with a sigh. "And we don't want any trouble so we can't just burst in."
"This is such crap!" Kurt suddenly exclaimed, making Wes, David and Jeff turn to him in shock. Neither of them had seen Kurt lose his temper like that, or even raise his voice. Nick and Blaine, respectively as roommate and boyfriend, had seen plenty of that though, and just looked at him with agreement in their eyes. "I just really wanted to get this off our shoulders before the weekend. Otherwise I feel like Sebastian won. He can't ruin our date."
"First of all Sebastian neither did nor will win, ever. And he won't ruin anything, babe," Blaine said making Kurt smile and roll his eyes at the endearment.
"Wank-" Wes started but was cut off by five voices in unison yelling, "Shut up, Wes!" Wes just shrugged and kept smirking.
In the meantime Blaine had retreated his legs, but locked Kurt behind them, so he was being pulled towards him as well. When he couldn't pull him closer, he lifted his weight and sat down on Kurt's lap. Kurt laughed at the complicated maneuver, but rested his head against Blaine's shoulder nonetheless. Kurt smiled when he felt Blaine tilt his head against his as well. His hands were as always holding Kurt's left hand and played with the silver band around his finger.
"So just to be clear," David started when he looked at the two of them, his eyes fixated on the ring, "they aren't engaged?"
"No, we're not, idiot," Blaine deadpanned and Kurt sniggered beside him.
"He would probably have said yes if Blainers asked, though," Wes said evenly and David nodded.
Kurt just smiled and Blaine suddenly felt very warm.
"Hey, why haven't you ever given me a promise ring?" Jeff asked Nick from the loveseat and his boyfriend rolled his eyes.
"Because you don't need one to know how much I love you, honey," Nick said in a playful, sugar sweet voice.
Jeff just huffed, "Bullshit." And Nick and the other five boys laughed. When Jeff pouted Nick kissed his cheek, though his eyes were still teasing.
"Don't worry, bae," Nick said. "I'll buy you an engagement ring before they do." And Jeff nodded giving him his, 'That Better Be True' look.
"Wouldn't be too sure about it," Blaine just said and smiled cockily. Kurt had gone silent. Yeah, he thought, he probably will. As if Blaine had read his mind, though, he placed a hand on his waist, squeezing him lightly. Kurt shook his head and chased the thought away, and smiled at him. Blaine looked back at him, asking without speaking. You ok? And Kurt nodded and kissed the side of his mouth sweetly.
Telling the others what happened hadn't been easy. Wes had for once shut up, and the other three just kept looking at them so pitifully. Kurt knew that he couldn't be mad at them. He knew he would probably have reacted the same way. Still, though, he felt himself back at the hospital, everyone looking at him like he was some pig that was soon to be slaughtered.
Blaine of course, had asked Kurt if he didn't want them to know, but he had shook his head. "No," he had said. "I don't want to make this bigger than it is. And you know it will be if we don't tell them."
And Blaine had nodded and kissed him soothingly.
Still, he didn't feel like telling his girls. Maybe that made him hypocritical, but he didn't care. Not after everything that had happened between them.
Blaine smiled at Kurt when he pulled back. OK, his look said, and Kurt rested his head against his shoulder again, closing his eyes briefly, inhaling the sweet smell; a mix between Blaine's cologne and his own indescribable, amazing scent.
The four other boys didn't even notice, all too used to it. They had started a conversation about New York, excitedly deciding on what to see in the two days they were there. Blaine sighed contentedly, his thumb stroking Kurt's hipbone. Every now and then he would murmur a response to the other boys, making his chest vibrate slightly under Kurt's palm. Kurt kept quiet, just enjoying his happy place while he could. In the arms of the boy he loved, feeling his heart beat with his, and surrounded by friends.
A/N
Eh? I can be a good person! :D Hope you liked it, and of you did, please let me now! Nothing is more motivating than reviews!
Until next time?