What does one wear when trying to express pure happiness?

Okay, that was going a bit far. But seriously, what kind of outfit did an event such as this require?

I had to remind myself that this was all about Heiji and Kazuha, but that only reminded me that practically everyone there was associated with the police department, and would therefore know something about my little mishap. How exactly could I make up for that?

I stood in front of my closet, not even able to sift through clothes as I thought this through. It seemed like I had absolutely nothing that could draw as little negative attention as possible. Hyo Yeoung interrupted my field of vision as he stepped forward to grab a collared shirt off to the left.

"Are you getting ready?" he asked. "You don't have to go, you know…"

"Yes, I do. I just…what am I supposed to wear exactly? Is it formal? Yeah, probably…maybe casual-formal? God, I don't know…" I mumbled to myself as he watched me, his eyebrows furrowing.

"Uh…well, let's see. Where are your dresses?" He took charge and started to shift the clothes around like it was no big deal. "You can literally make anything look good, it's just a matter of the occasion, I suppose…"

I couldn't help blushing with this comment. Truthfully, it was really hard to be mad at Hyo Yeoung for extended periods of time, just because he was so naturally kind.

"How about this? Eh, actually…it's kind of cold outside, so maybe something a little warmer."

"I don't think -"

"Here. Perfect. You wore this once, one of the days we went to the park." He held out a white, wintry sweater dress that fell just above the knees and tended to hug any existent curves nicely. I had completely forgotten I owned it in the first place.

"…How do you remember that?"

"I don't know. I just do. Here, you change. I'll go put on my tie and we can go."

I guessed I wasn't allowed to protest at this point, so I gave in reluctantly and changed. That had been the new theme of my life, I decided. Conforming with society seemed to be the best decision in my currently quiet, secretive state.

I was standing in front of the mirror that hung above my dresser now, inspecting every feature of myself as if I hadn't seen my own image in years. My face was tired, worn, and yet, it still held those obnoxiously perfect cheekbones that I inherited from my mother. My eyes were a listless grey that seemed to be constantly worried and wondering. I wondered how I had gotten my hair to look like I had actually tried, as it was curling loosely, framing my face. The dress was just as I had vaguely remembered it; it hugged my hips snuggly so that I appeared to have that curvy, hourglass shape that most girls would die for. I, however, resented it all.

There was a knock at the door, and I heard it open.

"Kokone-ah? Ready to go?"

"…I'm tired," I said, unable to take my eyes away from my reflection. The girl in the mirror seemed to plead with me, telling me not to go anywhere, as if that girl knew something I didn't about the very near future.

"I know. This wasn't a good idea anyway, we can just stay -"

"No," I said firmly, surprising him. "No, I want to go. I just…I look tired."

"Well…I suppose if you got really close and stared for a while. And though people will be staring at you, they'll only be seeing you as the stunning girl you are." He smiled reassuringly, and I distantly wondered if he was being honest or not.

"I…Hyo Yeoung-ah -"

"Seriously, you're a knock out. Now let's get going, shall we?" He held out his arm for me to hook mine through, and I did it willingly, but only because I probably would have collapsed otherwise.

The party was supposed to be held at one of the wealthier officer's rather large house. There were already tons of people there, which immediately tied my stomach into knots. People. Too many people. This couldn't be good for my heart.

I let Hyo Yeoung lead me inside though, and tried to ignore the infinite pairs of eyes that followed me as we walked. What were we supposed to do now? Just stand here? Luckily, we were – kind of – saved by the sudden appearance of both of the infamous couples.

"Kokone-chan, it's been a while!" Ran said, reaching forward to hug me with one arm, since I was still attached to Hyo Yeoung and clinging on for dear life.

"Hey, what's the big deal, not returning any of my calls, huh?" Heiji asked somewhat jokingly.

"Busy. She's been busy," Hyo Yeoung answered for me. It seemed like he knew what I needed at that moment, and I didn't really know how to handle that.

"Have you been feeling better?" Kazuha asked worriedly as she leaned against her fiancé.

"Yes," I said, before Hyo Yeoung could say it for me. "I'm fine."

"Have you been sick, Kokone-chan?" Ran asked. Shinichi was eyeing me suspiciously, but he was also glancing around, absorbing all the details.

"So to speak."

"I'm sorry to hear that. Oh, I wish we could visit more often, Shinichi…"

"Mhm, yeah…hey, isn't that Ichiro-san?" He pointed, and everyone but me turned to see.

"Hello everyone! Kazuha-chan, Hattori-kun. Oh, hi there, you must be the Kudos that we heard so much about at dinner last week, ne, Chiro-kun?"

That voice. My stomach lurched.

"Uh…I already know them…" Ichiro laughed nervously with this admittance, but extended his hand as he introduced her to Ran and Shinichi. "It's been awhile, you guys. How is everything?" I continued to stare ahead, watching the far wall. My mind began to wander towards the idea of what different colors would look like throughout the room, for some odd reason.

Hyo Yeoung released his hold on my arm then, and I almost fell in surprise. He caught me before I could slump forward though, trying to steady me as our little circle stopped their conversation uneasily.

"Woah, there. I was going to go get you something to drink. Water? Maybe a soda?" I forced him to let go of me, just to show everyone that I could stand up on my own, thank you very much.

"I'm fine." He looked me over, as if mulling over whether or not I could stay standing. But then he shrugged and left, saying he would be right back.

"…Well anyway, I've always wondered how you guys deal with seeing dead bodies all the time! It just seems so unreal, doesn't it? Oh, I wouldn't be able to handle it." That stupid girl was blabbing about nothing again, and I thought I saw Heiji roll his eyes.

"You get used to it," Shinichi said, still looking around the room, clearly uninterested at the conversation at hand.

"Even so, doesn't it ever freak you out?"

"Dead people aren't the worst things to deal with. It's the live ones you have to look out for." Had I just said that? Everyone's eyes flashed to my face in shock. After a second though, Heiji and Shinichi shared a witty smile. At least they understood, I thought.

"Yes…well…I suppose when you are a threat to human life, dead people seem a lot more compliant." I turned my head slowly to Hikari, who was innocently watching her glass as she swirled whatever was in it around and around. Heiji grumbled under his breath, then said he had to do something and kissed Kazuha on the cheek before parting with our group.

That rotten little…

But I kept quiet. Too much, I thought. It was too much to have to fight with this girl, too much work for my seemingly diminished brain.

"…Hikari," Ichiro said quietly yet sternly. "That's enough." She didn't say anything more, and the conversation dropped to the floor like a dead weight.

"Chiro-kun, I think I'm going to go refill my glass. I'll be back." She smiled warmly before parting from our dwindling group.

"So, Ichiro-san, how long have you and Hikari er…been together?" Kazuha asked amiably.

"About 5 months, I guess. I don't really know, to be honest."

"Well that's good for you."

"When is the wedding supposed to be?"

"Uhm…we haven't exactly talked about that yet…" She was blushing slightly, as if the idea of marrying Heiji was still nerve racking. Maybe it was. I didn't really see a reason for it to be.

They continued to exchange random conversation while I stared at nothing. This wasn't exactly working out as I had planned.

Somehow though, I was able to pick up those snake-like whispers.

"She's the one?"

"How was she even allowed to come to this party?"

"Wasn't she fired?"

Wasn't she fired?

This question rang in my head. Was I? Hyo Yeoung had said Heiji called sometimes about work, most of the time not…so what did that mean?

"Kazuha-chan, was I fired?" I interrupted rather rudely, but I couldn't help myself. She bit her lip.

"I thought Heiji was going to talk to you about that…" She seemed to be afraid to look at me for whatever reason, and that didn't really assure me, to say the least.

"So I was fired. I shouldn't be here."

"Nonono Kokone-chan, we want you here no matter what!" She was about to touch my shoulder, but then she drew back. "Heiji has all the information. He's trying to do what he can, I think. Maybe we can find him -"

"She almost shot that one guy. Did you hear about that?"

"Yeah, and I also heard that she tried to shoot him. That guy standing right next to her. Isn't that bizarre?"

"You think she has a weapon on her? She's only a forensic analyst, but you never know…"

"Nah. I bet she's on lockdown with everything. You don't just get away with something like that, right?"

Each whispered word was like a tiny knife shooting through my back. Didn't people have any consideration anymore?

"I'll see you guys later," I blurted, already walking away. I needed to find Hyo Yeoung.

"But -"

"Kokone-chan!" I ignored them as I craned my neck to get a good look. He was nowhere on this floor. I had seen some people go upstairs, some sort of grand tour of some kind, perhaps. So naturally, that's where I went.

The floor was empty however, and it consisted of a long hallway that diverted both ways off of the large staircase that led up to it. There were a couple doors, most of which were closed.

"Hyo Yeoung-ah?" I called, listening closely. My chest was tightening. I needed to go home, now.

"Hyo Yeoung-ah!" Nothing. And then…

Giggles. A high giggle, accompanied by a low chuckle. And it was coming from –

Without hesitation, I turned the knob and pushed the door open.

Oh dear God, I thought. This wasn't happening. How was this even possible?

There was a makeshift trail of clothing to the large guest bed that took up the majority of the room. I unfortunately recognized both outfits, and immediately felt sick to my stomach.

"Hyo Yeoung-ah…" I whispered. The two forms under the covers froze, then separated with haste. His head popped out, and he looked completely bewildered. Actually, I knew that look. He was drunk.

But that didn't justify anything. And though I prayed to God that the person with him wasn't who I thought it was, she too peeked out, her hair all mussed up and frizzy.

That worthless bitch, I thought.

I somehow made it out of there, gripping my mouth as I wandered back downstairs in search for a basement. A house like this would have one, right? There was plenty of room, and I had a feeling there wouldn't be people performing disgusting acts down there, at least.

I thankfully didn't run into anyone I knew on the way down there, and also found the basement door tucked away in a small alcove. There were racks and shelves holding objects that varied from canned goods to gardening supplies. It smelled of earthy dirt, and I inhaled deeply, my mind automatically flashing back to my mother's garden so long ago.

"This isn't happening. I'm asleep. I'm asleep, I'm asleep, I'm -"

"Kokone-chan?" I flinched back against one of the shelves, causing a flower pot to fall and shatter to pieces. Kazuha was the one that had found me.

"Oh my gosh. Is everything alright?" I knelt down shakily to begin picking up the large pieces of the broken pot. There was nothing to say. Of course nothing was alright, but I wasn't about to ruin her night. I'd just deal with this later.

"Kokone-chan?" She stepped forward and leaned over to help me, placing a free hand on my shoulder with care. "I…I really wanted to talk to you…" I looked up at her to show that I was listening, all the while struggling to hold everything in.

"Ahem. About…what happened with Hyo Yeoung the other night? I know that he told you…and I'm working on telling Heiji, but I think it can just be forgotten, right? I really wanted to apologize, Kone-chan. I am so sorry. I honestly didn't plan for it to happen, and he just kind of…did it, so I didn't really…You're mad at me, aren't you? Oh, I knew you would be. No wonder you've been so quiet -"

All of a sudden there was a crashing noise from behind us; something heavy had fallen off of the shelf, and it definitely wasn't a flower pot. We both wheeled around as something dense thumped onto the floor.

"What – what was that?" She whispered, cowering behind me. I swallowed, then stepped around the shelf. Kazuha kept close behind me, gripping onto my shoulders tightly.

I had seen my fair share of dead bodies, but the fact that there was one lying in such an unnatural position on a night such as this right in front of me made my stomach clench. My palms broke out in a clammy sweat, and I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to wake myself up from whatever cruel nightmare this was.

"Kokone-chan! That's a -"

"Hey! What're you two doing down here?"