Okay, so we have two songs for this chapter. They're both recommendations.
"He Won't Go" by: Adele – Recommended by liasparks
"Turn Back the Time" by: Chase Coy – Recommended by fanfantanic396
Thanks for your recommendations!
- JayBee
BPOV
This month couldn't be going by any slower.
Just one more month. One more month and Edward will be back. I couldn't help but think that he'd be back by now if they hadn't kept him there for four months, but thinking about it
only made my mood worse. At least now I could think his name and say it out loud without feeling weird pangs in my heart. That was good...right?
From what I read in his letters, other than the fact that he missed home, he didn't seem too sad about being there. For that, I was thankful. At least I knew he was okay. That
makes me feel a little better.
I wonder what he's doing right now. He said they have a rec center there. I wonder if he's playing basketball or watching TV. Or maybe he's with Dr. Jenks. He seems to like that
guy. I wonder what he looks like. I wonder what Leah looks like. I wonder what everyone there looks like.
I jumped when I heard my phone buzz by my bedroom window. I got up from my desk to see who it was.
A text message from a number I didn't know.
From: 212-555-8370
– Hey I'm outside. Come down. –
I stared at the number for a few seconds before answering.
To: 212-555-8370
– Who is this? –
I looked out my window and saw the back of his head. I sat down as quickly as I could, resting my back against the wall.
From: 212-555-8370
– Haha ur funny. U have my number! It's Jacob. (: –
What the hell was that smiley for? Did he think we were okay? After what he did to Edward, I think it was clear that I didn't want to talk to him. He knew I knew about the whole
Jasper thing. My phone call to him that day should have been enough for him to figure it out. I looked back down at my phone when I received another message.
From: 212-555-8370
– Are u coming? –
Ugh. I stood up and put my phone on my desk before going downstairs. He needs to leave. Now.
I opened the front door and walked out. He was standing in the walkway, and turned around to face me when he heard my footsteps approaching.
"What do you want, Jacob?"
I made sure to keep my distance, but he close the distance between us as he spoke. "I just wanted to see how you were. Where have you been?"
Was he fucking serious? "You need to go."
He looked genuinely confused. I had to hold myself back from yelling at him to go away. "Why?"
"What do you mean, 'why'? Why do you think?"
He shrugged. "I don't know. Is Edward really in rehab?"
I stood there, shocked. How could he just throw that out there like it was nothing? "Thanks to you, yeah."
"Thanks to me? How is it my fault?"
I shrugged and crossed my arms over my chest. I didn't want to talk about it.
"Bella, he's a grown man. He makes his own decisions. It's not like I forced him to do it." His voice was calm, and I couldn't bring myself to get mad at him the way I wanted to.
"You could've told him not to do it."
"Why would I? Think of it from my point of view. It's business, right? So why would I turn away a paying customer?" He took another step closer, and I could smell his cologne.
"For me…" I felt so selfish saying it. But I thought Jake might have cared enough to tell him not to do it. Now that I think of it…why would he care?
"Not everything is done to your liking."
"I – I know. But you kept this lie going for as long as he did." I tried to sound aggressive, but it was no use. His words hit me like a dagger, but I don't know why. I know the world
doesn't revolve around me. But with Edward, it does. He makes most of his decisions for me and me alone.
"Wow. He has really spoiled you, hasn't he?"
My brows furrowed. "I'm not spoiled." Am I?
Jacob held his hands up. "Whatever you say. Listen, I just wanted to say that I honestly didn't mean to hurt you that night. The night you passed out. I didn't mean for anything like
that to happen. I'm sorry." He took another step forward. I could feel his breath on my face as he spoke. "And I'm sorry I didn't tell you that Edward was lying to you. He told me that
he'd beat my ass if I told you, and you know how he gets when something makes him mad. I told him that it was wrong of him to keep lying to you, but he kept saying, 'I'm gonna tell
her. I'm gonna tell her.' He had every intention of telling you, but I guess you found out before he had a chance tell you."
"He had a lot of chances. A lot," I said in as strong a voice as I could muster.
He said nothing. We stood in silence for a few minutes before he looked me up and down. "Did you lose weight?"
I shrugged, looking away.
"You look really skinny, Bella. And not in a good way."
I rolled my eyes. "Gee, thanks."
"I'm being serious. Are you okay?"
"Yeah."
He nodded. "Okay." I'm glad he didn't press the issue any further. "Do you need anything?"
Where did that come from? I shook my head. I didn't want him taking care of me. I wanted Edward. He and my dad were the only people I'd ever let take care of me.
I miss him. I miss him so much.
I closed my eyes as he bent down to kiss me. I opened my mouth to grant him entrance and melted in his embrace as his arms circled my waist. I missed this so much.
I inched my hand slowly down to his chest and rested it on his crotch before palming him through his shorts. He pulled his head away to let out a small moan and my eyes snapped open.
That wasn't the moan I'd grown accustomed to.
I pulled my hand away in shock. The eyes staring back at me weren't the green eyes I'd expected.
"You're not…Edward." I forced myself to speak up, but I couldn't find my voice. I couldn't move.
I watched Jake wipe the corner of his mouth with his thumb. "Um…I know."
I was going to faint.
I cheated on him. I cheated on Edward. I cheated. On Edward. I'd never cheated on anyone in my life.
But I thought this was him! He was just here. I was kissing Edward. He was right in front of me, holding me in his arms.
"You're not Edward."
"Are you okay? You look like you're gonna faint. Do you wanna sit down or something?"
I shook my head slowly. "I just…no…I'm…" I couldn't think straight. What was I trying to say to him? He put a hand on my shoulder, and I immediately took a step back. "I can't cheat on him."
"But you just did."
I brought my hands up to my mouth and shook my head. "Why did you kiss me? Are you insane?"
"You kissed me back. It's not like I jumped on you. I leaned in slowly. You leaned up. It's not like we had sex or something. Don't freak out. We'll figure this out."
"Stop!" There was nothing to figure out. How could I have done this? I turned around and walked toward my house quickly.
"Where are you going?"
"Inside!" I slammed the door and ran upstairs, not knowing what to do with myself.
I lay down on my bed, pulling the covers over my head. I wanted to call up Edward. I need to tell him what happened. I wish he was right next to me right now, telling me it was okay
and that he understood…telling me that we all make mistakes.
I couldn't stop the churning in my stomach.
I cheated on Edward with Jacob. I couldn't wrap my head around it. I'm such a horrible person.
I cheated. On Edward. And with Jacob.
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