I closed and locked the door behind me in an instant. I felt my heart breaking at my parents' words. How could they do this to me? Am I a monster? Am I even their kid? Sometimes I wonder if I'm their flesh and blood. Sometimes I wonder if all parents are like that. Sometimes I think about ending everything in an instant. Everybody would be better off without me. I'm tired. It's not about them forgetting my birthday, because it's now normal of them forgetting things… but it's mostly about how they acted on it. They acted up as if it was nothing.

Austin knocked on my door and tried to open it. 'Martina, are you ok?' He asked as he tried opening the door again.

'Go away Austin, I don't want to talk.' I sobbingly replied.

'Come on, open up little tuc.' He urged again. 'We need to talk.'

'No we don't Austin. There is nothing to talk about. Just please… leave me alone!' I said again as I chocked myself into the pillow.

'Please little tuc. I only want to talk to you. Please open up.' He said urgently.

He wasn't going to leave me alone. He wasn't going to leave anytime soon, so I decided to let him. I quickly composed myself, and opened the door.

'Are you ok Martina?' He asked as he followed inside.

'Yeah… I'm fine…' I replied as I sat on my bed.

'You don't have to keep the tough persona… you can show me the real you.' Austin said as he hugged me and pulled me to his chest.

'Austin I'm tired.'

'I know little tuc… I know…'

'No you don't Austin!' I replied as I pushed him. 'Even grandma remembered my birthday, and she sent me a card and $30… and she doesn't live with us. My friends made the best of my day, and they don't live with me. You're my brother, and still remembered, although you have a lot of stress… But they? They hate me. I hate me… I'm tired Austin… I can't take this.' I said between sobs.

'Hey… I'm always here for you little tuc. I'll never leave your side…'

'Austin, don't make promises you can't keep. You left me once after you said you'll always be here, and you moved for a couple of days, so no you, you are not going to be here. You are going to leave like everybody else does.'

'Not this time. I told Max to hold my room, true, but for now, I'm staying here Martina… I have to be here for you. You need me more than ever now.' He stated.

'You see… you 'have' to be here!... You don't want to be here Austin. It's another thing that you have to do for me… and I'm tired of this. I want this all to stop… it would be better if I didn't exist. Everything will end… all the pain… all the…'

'What are you saying Martina?'

'You know what I mean Austin… I'm tired… I wish all of this to end. I want all of this to end.'

'Martina, listen to me. You are going to be fine! I want to be with my sister. You are the best thing that ever happened to this family. I wouldn't cope with them if I were alone. But I have you to hold on too. You are my only family I have left. Don't leave me.' Austin replied as he took my face between his hands.

I went forward to hug him, and broke down in his arms. He was my only life support now. If he left, then everything would crumble. He kept talking soothing words to my ears. I wanted to believe anything that he said, but it was hard.

He lifted me off and carried me to bed. He stood there beside me, while exhaustion took over and I slept. He took off my sneakers and my tracksuit, and covered me with covers. He played with my hair, and it made him tear up a bit at the state I was. He never saw my ribs, or my spine. I never let anyone see it. I usually covered it immediately, but at that moment I couldn't and he had just realised how bad things had become. He made a promise to himself that he won't lose me.

The following morning I woke up early, and had just realised what might have happened. I went to take an early shower, and got ready for when Austin makes the call to leave, however before that, there was one important thing he had to do.

'Hey little tuc.' He said as I entered the kitchen and made myself a glass of water. 'I just made you breakfast.' He said as he put the ham and cheese sandwich on the table.

'Um… I'm not hungry…' I replied as I grabbed myself a second glass.

'Come on, you can't honestly not be hungry. You didn't have dinner last night, and you skipped breakfast yesterday as well.'

'I really am not hungry Austin. I promise if I do get hungry, I'll eat it.'

'No you won't. You never do.' Austin said as he blocked my way. 'You are going to eat, and then we'll leave for training. Am I clear?'

I never saw Austin that way. There had to be something that ticked him off. I decided to oblige… but there had to be another way how to get rid of it.

I seated myself near Austin, and dug in slowly. At times, while Austin was eating, or turned his head, I managed to hide some pieces in my sleeve. Sometimes I chewed and spit it back in the tissue, and hid it from Austin. After almost half an hour, we were both ready, but I had one last thing to do, from the few bites I've taken.

'Um… can you clear these up please? I need to go to the bathroom.' I asked him politely.

'Yeah sure. Don't take long little tuc.' He replied as I made my way up the stairs. 'Ohh, and I'm proud of you sis.' He replied with a genuine smile. With an Austin's smile.

I quickly made my way to the bathroom, and switched on the tap of water. I took up the toilet seat and shoved my fingers down my throat. I could feel all the pieces that I've eaten coming up. After few minutes, I was all done. By time, purging became quite easy.

I rinsed my mouth, but one thing I never expected to happen, had just happened. The sink was covered in drops of blood. I panicked a bit, but I kept my composure. I cleaned everything quick, and made my way downstairs again.

'You ready little tuc?' Austin asked as he took my duffle bag.

'Yepps.' I replied as I smiled.

'Off we go then.'