Fish Tale 2.0: This is Letting Go

Chapter Twenty Four: Human

I can turn it on
Be a good machine
I can hold the weight of worlds
If that's what you need
Be your everything

- Christina Perri

(Human)

March, 2014

"Will," Cammie giggled. "Have I ever told you that I love you?"

Will looked over at her with an amused smile. "Not lately." He propped his legs up on the fire escape railing, leaning back against the brick wall.

This Cammie reminded him of the Cammie on New Year's Eve their junior year. That had been the first time she'd truly gotten pissed. It seems that history does repeat itself.

"Well I love you," she said with a grin, her eyes relaxed and lazy. "I love you sooooooo much!" She held out her arms to convey how much she loved him.

He laughed, "thanks Camster."

"I wish we'd done this more in high school," Cammie said sounding dazed and far away.

Will snorted in response to her comment. "Yeah, ok. Like you weren't miss perfect or anything. You wouldn't even go near me if you knew I had weed in my car."

She shrugged. "Miss Perfect," she said, sounding vaguely reminiscent. "What a load of bullshit that turned out to be."

"Come on Camster, you are perfect."

"Thanks Willy," she replied with a smile.

"Nope, don't call me that."

She sighed. "Ok."

Will smiled at her, she was acting like a disappointed child.

"So you ready to talk about Zach yet?"

Cammie made a face. "No."

Will shrugged. "Fair enough, but I was looking for that picture earlier, when you came over. I can't find it. You happen to have seen it?"

She rolled her eyes and didn't have the decency to look guilty or embarrassed. "Yeah, Zach has got it. Well, assuming he kept it. But I wouldn't really surprise me if he burned it."

"Zach has it?" he asked incredulously. "How the hell does that happen?"

"Your son found it when we were babysitting, he showed it to Zach an I."

"Is that why there's a macaroni and cheese stain on the wall in my kitchen?"

She shook her head. "No, that was me. He wasn't too mad, I mean for a sec, but then he got over it."

Will raised an eyebrow.

"If you remember, he left that night, I didn't take it so well."

"Jesus Cam, didn't really realize you had a temper."

She waved her hand in a casual way. "I usually don't. Can we stop talking about this? It's kinda killing my high."

"Well what happened when Zach saw the picture?"

She shook her head, unwilling to discuss it further.

"Will?" Viney's voice called from inside the apartment.

Will didn't even move, he knew it would be a wasted effort to try and hide this from Viney. She was his wife, she knew everything.

"Fire escape!" he called back into the apartment.

He glanced over at Cammie, whom, like Will, look unconcerned.

"We're in such shit."

Cammie laughed. "Speak for yourself, Vin's you're wife, not mine."

"Babe, you're welcome to join anytime, I don't mind sharing."

She rolled her eyes and nudged him in the stomach with her elbow. "You're disgusting."

"Will, what the fuck?" Viney said, her face appearing in the window.

"Cammie was having a bad day," he said, as though it excused it all. Viney's expression didn't change. "Plus it's her birthday."

"Where's my fucking son you ass?"

"Chillax babe," he told her. "I'm not completely inept, he's with my mom. She practically begged me to let her have him."

Viney visibly relaxed but her face was still stony.

"What's up with you then?" Viney asked Cammie.

"Zach," she replied. "Come on, Vin, come wallow with me. We can celebrate my birthday!"

Viney sighed, but her annoyed look had passed. She was disappointed with Will, but he'd taken care of Jason, which was what she really cared about anyway.

"Happy birthday Cam," she smiled at her friend.

"Thanks Vin."

She climbed out onto the small fire escape and settled into the crook of Will's arm.

He kissed her on the forehead. "So how was your day?"

"Shitty enough," she replied. "Got any left?"

He laughed and nodded.

They were all still young after all.

"Someone call Jace!"

:*:*:*:

"Will open the door!" Zach called as he stood outside the apartment. "I need to talk to you!" He pounded on it, the sound echoing up and down the deserted hallways.

There was no noise in the apartment. But Zach knew he was in there. Melissa had told him he had to stay home for whatever reason.

Zach finally gave up and pulled a paperclip out of his pocket and jammed it in the keyhole. It was an easy lock to pick.

"I know you probably don't feel like talking to me," he broke off, smelling a very distinct, familiar smell. He let out a small cough. "Oh wow, Will." He heard light laughter from some corner of the apartment.

He followed the noise and saw Will's blonde head peaking over the edge of the window.

"Will," Zach said as he walked closer.

Will turned around "Holy shit, what are you doing here?"

Zach shrugged.

"Aw shit," Viney mumbled, her head poking up behind Will's. Her red eyes immediately zeroed in on Zach. "Get ready for world war three."

"What's going on?" another voice asked and Zach felt several jolts of emotions pass through him. That was Cammie. That was definitely Cammie. What was she doing here?

Zach finally had gotten close enough to see the rest of the scene on the fire escape. All he could see was Cammie, her head in Jace's lap. Jace had a bottle of Jack Daniels in one hand, the other running through Cammie's hair.

"Zach?" Cammie finally said, recognizing his silhouette. "What?" She asked, sounding incredibly confused.

Zach refused to get angry or jealous by Cammie's comfortableness with Jace. He knew that wouldn't help anything.

"Oh jesus," Zach said, finally putting the pieces together by all of the blank stares on his friends face. "You're all high as shit."

Jace shrugged from the corner. "And drunk. None of us were having good days."

Zach ignored him and looked back at Cammie. She looked annoyed and angry, and Zach only had to assume it was his fault.

"Can we talk?" he asked her gently, but inside he was roaring. He was angry with her for not understanding, but he knew if he lashed out it would just end up biting him in the ass.

She rolled her eyes but pushed herself away from Jace, finally.

"I guess," and then she grabbed the bottle next to Jace and, looking Zach straight in the eye , took two long pulls of the whiskey.

His mouth set in a straight line as he watched her clumsily stand up and try to climb through the window. He ended up pulling her through because she was too intoxicated to figure it out without laughing her ass off.

Zach rolled a hand through his hair, "Goddamit Cammie."

"Hey," Viney interjected. "If you guys are going to fight and break things, please, leave the apartment."

"We're not going to break anything," Zach said sincerely to her.

Viney shrugged. "Better not."

Zach took Cammie's hand and led her into the living room.

"Why are you like this?" Zach asked quietly, not looking her in the eye.

She grinned. "It's my birthday."

"You don't usually do this on your birthday."

She shrugged and didn't answer.

"Legs?"

She shot him a glare. "Don't call me that, I'm mad at you."

He nodded, "I know."

"I just don't why you have to be gone all of the time," she muttered. "Like why couldn't you have gotten a desk job or something?"

Because I did this for me, not you, he thought, but didn't say out loud. He knew it was really a rhetorical question.

"Cameron I don't want to fight."

Her eyes widened. "Oh my god," she said. "You're mad. Like, really really mad." She let out a low laugh.

"What are you talking about?"

"You only call me Cameron when I've really done something to piss you off. I'm surprised you didn't throw my middle name in there."

Zach held his lips together in a grim line. He didn't want to admit it, but she was right.

"I just wish I could talk to you when you were sober," he replied, is voice tight.

"What's the difference?" she asked. "I'd probably be screaming if I was sober. I'm more mellow now. Do you want me to scream?"

"No. It's because I have to leave tomorrow, and we have some things we really need to discuss."

"I'm sorry, I must be incredibly impaired. Did you just say that you were leaving tomorrow?"

He sighed, he'd forgotten he hadn't mentioned that to her yet.

"Yeah, we're kind of just passing through."

This time she clamped her mouth shut and didn't say anything. But the rage was building.

"So now I'm just 'passing through' to you?"

"I wanted to see you," he told her, taking a step closer. "I always want to see you." He was sincere, she could tell. He always was, that what kept her tethered to him.

She looked up at him with her bambi eyes, her face soft now."Then why don't you?"

He pulled her towards him and placed his hands on her hips. He could smell the weed and booze on her. "You know why."

She nodded and then rested her head on his shoulder. She didn't want to be mad at him, she was tired of being mad him. And it felt to good to be in his arms again. Plus she wasn't exactly making the best judgment calls.

"I missed you," she told him, tightening her arms around his neck.

He kissed her lightly on her temple. "I missed you more, I don't even know how many times I tried to call you."

"42," she said. "And 28 voicemails."

He pulled back to look at her.

She smiled sheepishly. "I may have kept track, and kept the voicemails."

"So you were just torturing me?" he asked.

She shrugged and didn't answer. She was done fighting. For tonight at least.

Instead she kissed him on the mouth softly but still reserved. It wasn't the same as it use to be. It wasn't like the kisses they'd shared in passionate moments or just to show their love. No, it was much more calm and steady. It was practiced and perfect, except, it wasn't. It didn't feel right. Deep down, where neither of them were willing to look, there was something broken. It had been for some time, and they were just putting bandages on a bullet wound. They weren't happy, they couldn't be with these circumstances.

But for now, both of them blind to their own faults and each to others, it was enough. A kiss that was only surface and didn't mean anything.
It was enough because both of them were trying to hold onto something that was certain to fall apart.

He smiled at her and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Happy birthday Legs."

:*:*:*:

"My god," Jace started after the three of them heard Cammie and Zach leave Will's apartment. "They have the most twisted relationship."

The three of them had been eavesdropping on the other couple's spat. It hadn't exactly been intentional, since they kind of were talking loudly, but it would be a lie if any of them said they didn't want to know what was going on with Cammie and Zach.

Viney nodded. "They made up in like five seconds."

Will shook his head. "That's just the calm before the storm," he said. "Just imagine what's going to happen when he leaves tomorrow. All hell is going to break loose."

Viney sighed loudly at his words, as though it truly upset her. "I wish they could just be happy."

Jace nodded in agreement. "I think all of our lives would be easier."

"When are they just gonna figure out they're shit for each other?" Will muttered under his breath in a very cynical way.

"Will," Viney chided. "Don't say things like that."

"Well they are," he replied. "Babe, we do not fight like that."

"They have different problems then us Will," she told him. "And Zach has so many secrets."

"I know," Will said. "It isn't fair to Cammie."

Jace shrugged. "They'll get through it."

"Cammie doesn't deserve this," Will muttered.

Viney gave him a soft glance. "Will," she said. "Neither does Zach."

For some reason, just then, it seemed like Viney was the one that knew all of Zach's secrets. But she didn't, but she knew what it was like to have them. Zach was a good person, his soul was pure and he'd just had an unfortunate past, whatever it may be. Viney knew as well as anyone that bad things happened to good people. Will shouldn't be diminishing Zach when he'd really not done anything wrong.

Jace's phone began to ring before Will could respond to his wife. But he didn't need to, the look they shared said it all.

Jace drunkenly fished his phone out of his pocket. When he looked at the screen a look of disgust appeared on his face.

"Who is it?"

"Cassie," Jace murmured without looking up.

Then there was a strange silence. The kind that felt like it stretched on forever. The kind where there wasn't really anything anyone could say to make it less awkward.

"Oh," Viney replied.

"I. . ." The phone continue to ring. "I'm gonna take it."

Will and Viney had visibly surprised looks on their faces but they didn't object or say anything. Jace just nodded as to reassure himself and answer the phone.

"I'll talk to you guys later," and then he climbed back into the apartment.

Viney looked over at her husband. "Well isn't this a dramatic night."

"Jesus I'm so glad I picked you and not some crazy," he said, pulling her close to his side.

"You're so charming," she said, rather sarcastically.

He kissed her forehead. "You wouldn't want me any other way."

She nodded and turned her face so she could kiss him on the lips. "You're right."

He laughed and kissed her back. "So how's work going?"

She shrugged. "I'm a waitress at a bar, I get my ass grabbed and get called 'honey'."

"Then maybe you should find a new profession," he muttered to her.

"I could say the same to you," she told him. "I don't think you're going to make it big in the bowling industry."

Suddenly a bright smile came over Will's face. "About that."

She perked up. "What?" she asked.

"Remember the interview I had with that broker company?" he asked her.

She nodded, sitting up straight.

"Well," he said. "They called me back."

"Shut up," she said. "You're kidding. Why didn't you tell me?!"

"I haven't had a chance to, Cammie came over and then we all got shitfaced. Hell, I'm still shitfaced."

"Will!" she practically shouted. "That's amazing!"

"It's not set in stone yet," he replied cautiously. "So don't get your hopes up."

She grinned. "Too late, they're already up. You're going to get it! You're going to get it!"

"Slow down babe," he told her. "I've got to go in for another interview. Then we'll see."

"I have to go iron your suit!" she said animatedly.

"Not now," he said. "Come on, let's have a drink to celebrate."

She just grinned and kissed him again.

:*:*:*:

"Hello?" Cassie's voice came over the phone. Jace had answered but he hadn't said anything, yet. "Jace?"

"Hey," he said shortly, running his fingers through his hair, his happy drunk feeling beginning to fade. She was such a buzzkill.

"Oh wow, I didn't really expect you to answer."

"Then why call?"

"I want you to know that I want fix things," she told him.

"Well you can't."

"Jace," she said in a sweet, soft voice, that sounded like music to his ears. "Please, I'm trying."

"You should have tried sooner," he told her. "Did you really expect me to wait this long for you to stop acting like a heartless bitch?"

That hurt her, he knew, but that had been his intention. She had turned him into this person. He was cruel to her, something before he wouldn't imagine being able to do.

"So there's someone else?"

Jace sighed. "No," he said. "There isn't."

"Can't you give it a second chance then?"

"That's the thing Cass," he said. "I don't think I can."

"Why?"

"You broke me," he replied, sounding strangely calm.

"I want to fix you."

Jace wished he felt more drunk. Then maybe this conversation would be a hell of a lot easier.

"I made a mistake Jace," she continued when he didn't reply. "But I'm trying, and that's all I have left to give you."

Again he didn't say anything. He didn't know what to say. Vaguely, he heard Viney shout something from the fire-escape.

"Jace," she said, and this time he could hear the sheer sadness in her voice. He could tell she was trying not to cry. "I really need that to be enough, because I really need you."

"Cass?" he said.

"Yeah?" she sounded hopeful.

"Can I call you back?"

He simply couldn't deal with this right now. He needed to process. He needed to think.

"Oh," her voice had fallen. "Uh, sure."

"Okay," he said. "Bye."

And without waiting for her reply, he hung up.

Alright guys, I know, I'm the worst. I really want to finish this story and I'm gonna try my damnest to do that, but it will take a while. So sorry for that but I'll get done.

Love ya'll!