A/N: I'm so sorry! I'd said I'd be on the ball this time and now it's been nearly a month since I've updated! And now finals are coming up and I'll probably slow down again…but hey! Christmas break is soon and then I'll be all over it! Promise! Also, I haven't just been sitting around on my hands. I have a few chapters written already for the sequel (if I can't think of something, I start on something else…geez…) as well as the beginning of a new, totally unrelated RoyEd story that I'm really excited about called "Cherry Blossoms." It's something I thought of while watching a movie. I can't wait to get really started on it. But first things first! This chapter's a longer one, so I hope that makes up for my tardiness.

Many many MANY thanks go to: Amsul, Krystal M. T., WhisperedDaydreams, pure.life, horsepoet, Mage of Dragons, anmbcuconnfan, mieko8804, The Lady Morana, Sophie, Pojo-san, Dark Mage Makai, Bar-Ohki, Paon, and the always wonderful and lovely GreedxEd. I really am glad to be able to say that every time I read my reviews, I can recognize most, if not all, of the names posted. I consider myself blessed to have such a wonderful group of readers who share the same passion (and dare I say, fanaticism?) for the lovely and undeniable grouping that is RoyEd. So here's the next chapter. I hope you're all as pleased as I was.

Roy slowly walked down the stark white corridor of the Eastern General Hospital Wing, or at least, that's what they were calling it these days. It still looked like the infirmary at Eastern HQ to him, but what did he know? His mind was scrambled. Maybe he was really just in the infirmary back home, after Riza had all but dragged him off the train. He didn't just want to see Ed, he needed to. He had so many things to say, so many things he hadn't done yet. Oh what he would do just to touch the young man one more time, to finally say what had been on his mind for the last few years.

But what would he say? What could he say?

"Ed, I'm sorry?" No, that wouldn't work. What was he sorry about?

"Ed, I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you needed me…even though it really is your own damned fault for being such a magnet for trouble." No. That was too rough. He needed something softer, something that could be whispered in his ear…something only the two of them would have.

"Ed, I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you needed me. I'm sorry I was too stubborn to tell you how I felt. I'm sorry that it's taken me this long to figure it all out. I'm sorry that you got hurt, and I feel that it's all my fault because had I said something, you probably wouldn't have left. At least, I hope you wouldn't have left. Just don't leave now, not when I finally have the courage to say what's on my mind."

No, too soap opera. When did this get so hard?

"Keep it short, keep it simple," he muttered to himself.

"Ed, I'm sorry I wasn't there when you needed me. I feel responsible for what happened somehow. Maybe if I'd been more honest with you, you wouldn't have been so quick to leave. Get better."

Yeah, that would work, even if it was somewhat unbelievable. Ed probably would have left anyway. Maybe. Who knew.

Roy was torn from his thoughts by the bustle of people rushing into one of the nearby rooms. He vaguely wondered what all the trouble was, but he quickly brushed it aside.

"Probably someone important," he thought dully.

He paused and looked back at the room number everyone was rushing to. Room 103…why did that sound so familiar?

Wait, wasn't that Ed's room?! Roy turned and ran back to see doctors and nurses clamoring around Ed's pale body, which remained still as they tried to pump it back to life.

Roy's heart began ramming in his chest. Ed…dying? Not conceivable. Not in the least. Definitely not happening. Couldn't be.

"No…not…Ed…please…"

"Sir…Colonel Mustang…excuse me, Colonel Mustang, sir…"

"Roy," Riza said, nudging Roy awake. He sat up with a jolt to find both Riza and a nurse staring at him with concern.

"Y-yes?" he asked shakily.

"Could you give us a few moments?" Riza asked. The nurse nodded, walking away to leave Roy and Riza alone. who then walked away. Riza looked at Roy, examining him carefully.

"Bad dream?" she asked softly.

Roy shook his head. "No, just startled me," he said gruffly, feeling a little embarrassed. He cleared his throat to speak. "What did she want?"

"We can go see Edward now," Riza said delicately, knowing better but not pushing the subject. "It's a one-at-a-time basis, and they finally just got Alphonse to leave. I think I'm going to take him to get some food and then get him somewhere quiet so he can rest. I'm sure it's been stressful for him. Why don't you go see Edward and I'll catch up with you later."

Roy nodded slowly, digesting all the information given to him. He knew that Riza was giving him the opportunity to see Ed alone, though he wasn't quite sure he wanted to anymore. After that nightmare, he'd been left a bit shaken.

Riza stood slowly, reaching into her purse and discreetly handing Roy a few tissues as she leaned to whisper in his ear.

"You might want to go wash your face before you go see him. You still look rather groggy…sir," she said softly, pressing the tissues into his hand and walking away.

Roy reached up to touch his face and was surprised to find it damp. Had he been…crying? It seemed unusual, but not impossible, considering the emotional stress he'd been under lately. He saw Riza guiding a very numb-looking Alphonse towards the exit. It looked as if Al had been crying quite a bit as well, though it wasn't as if he hadn't expected that. Al was a sensitive kid; it wasn't odd that he'd be crying over his older brother, especially considering how close the two were.

He took a deep breath. It was time to go see Ed. He just had to walk in, sit down, and find the nerve to stay there until Ed woke up, or someone kicked him out, plain and simple. He tried to still his shaking hands.

Come on, Roy, pull yourself together. You're acting ridiculous. You've seen wounded soldiers before who were probably in much worse shape than Ed is. Get over yourself, he scolded himself. He stood and began making his way towards Ed's room. He was relieved to see that there were no doctors rushing towards it, nor were there any occupants inside.

He slowly approached the bed where Ed lay, peacefully sleeping. As much as he'd prepared himself mentally, it still hurt to look at the blonde. Had he not seen Ed wounded before, he almost wouldn't recognize the battered youth that was the Fullmetal Alchemist.

"Oh Ed," he whispered, taking a seat next to the bed. Though he was afraid and still shaking, he took Ed's hand, gently running his calloused thumb across Ed's bandaged knuckles. He nearly jumped when he felt Ed's hand twitch. Roy frowned; no doubt, his assailant had probably stepped on his hand or smashed it with something when they attacked him. His other arm—his automail—had been completely destroyed, leaving only the naked wires still attached to the port. He was glad that the doctors had decided not to mess with them. It would have caused Ed more pain than he needed. Winry was probably on her way to fix him well enough to be able to transport him back to Risembool. How hard it must have been for Ed, having to lie there as his arm was destroyed, forced to feel to the full extent the despair of his disability. Roy couldn't ever imagine feeling that hopeless. Yes, his gloves were like a security blanket, but he could still draw circles when he absolutely had to.

Ed had nothing to take the place of his arm. Indeed, he probably was nothing without his arm. His fingers were probably broken to prevent him from drawing circles. But hadn't he been in tough spots before? He'd always managed to get out of them somehow. Had someone not come at the right time…

No, he wouldn't think about that. He had to keep his thoughts as far away from that outcome as possible. After all, Edward had been saved, by none other than the other residing officer at the reconstruction site besides the Elrics, the now-Major Maria Ross. She'd been transferred there to aid in the reconstruction process, mostly because she had a good idea of what was expected there, and also because she worked well with the Elric brothers. If not for her excellent aim, Edward might not…

Knock it off, Mustang, Roy mentally chided again. Ed was fine. He'd been saved and he would live, if for nothing more than to be loved by Roy. But what could he do to assure Ed's safety? Make him quit the military? He didn't know if he could make the small alchemist do that.

Maybe…if he led by example…

Wait, had he just actually consider of resigning? It wasn't as if he hadn't done it before, but it was for other reasons, and he'd only demoted himself, not actually quit. He couldn't actually remember a time without the military. Could it really be that easy, to go back to being just Roy Mustang?

No, probably not, but he'd do it, if it meant keeping Edward safe. He hated how the young man had turned his life upside down, but he couldn't help it now. What was done was done.

As Edward stirred, his eyes clenching tight in pain, Roy felt his heartstrings being tugged at fiercely. He groaned. He was really stuck this time. He'd always figured it would happen sooner or later, but he'd never thought it would be this difficult. After all, they had little in common, and the things they did have in common included temperament, gender, and occupation. Not good.

"M-Mustang?" Ed gasped, slowly opening the one eye that wasn't swollen shut and slightly bandaged over.

Roy's head snapped up to look at the blonde, who was feebly trying to squirm into an upright position. He opened his mouth to speak and was alarmed to find that nothing came out. He had nothing to say!

"W-what are you doing here?" Edward asked slowly, his voice hoarse.

The usually-clever Colonel was at a loss. He had no idea how he could explain his presence. I was worried? I thought you'd died? Or, would it be the usual sarcastic quip? I'd heard you'd been injured and thought I'd come to see how much damage you'd done?

"I…I uh…" he struggled, trying to find words that would never come.

Ed's eye drifted from Roy's face down to his hand, which was still firmly clutching Ed's, as if it had a will of it's own. Ed's exposed bruise on his face darkened. Roy was astonished. Was Edward Elric blushing?

"I'm sorry," Ed muttered, interrupting Roy's thoughts.

"Hm?" Roy queried, cocking an eyebrow.

A tear began to accumulate in Ed's exposed eye. "You must think I'm really stupid. I was so careless," he said, his voice cracking. "He was going to kill me. I knew that, but I didn't do anything. Had Alphonse been with me…" His voice strained, like he was fighting the urge to cry.

Roy's brow furrowed. Was Ed saying he hadn't tried to save himself at all? Was he just tired, or…had it been from wanting to die? Roy wouldn't believe that. He just couldn't.

"You were tired," he said plainly, deciding that was the best possible explanation and hoping to reassure Ed as well, though it was really himself he was trying to convince.

Ed glanced down at their hands and squeezed Roy's briefly. "Maybe."

Roy felt his chest tighten. Ed still believed this was all his fault. How typical, he thought. Ed, his precious Ed, was always the first to either lay blame or take it, usually the latter.

"Edward," he said softly, causing the blonde to look up at him with surprise.'

"Huh?" he asked dumbly.

"Don't…just don't tell me that you aren't…that you didn't…" Roy fumbled through words, trying to find just the right fit. Being sensitive was difficult, especially when he wanted to grab the little brat and shake him, just to make sure he was really still there. Being sensitive at that point in time…it was like trying to fit a square block into a circle-shaped hole. Maybe that's what they were: a circle and a square, things that would never fit. But he was going to force it, damnit, even if it meant cutting himself into a square-shaped hole.

A square-shaped hole? You really are losing it, Roy, Hughes's voice said in his head.

Don't I know it, Roy agreed.

"Colonel?" Ed asked quietly, sounding almost nervous.

Roy sighed, knowing he was unnerving the kid. Hell, Ed probably thought he was mad at him or something. But he wasn't…was he? No, he wasn't mad. He could never really be mad at Edward, not anymore.

"I just don't want to think you were completely helpless. Hell, maybe I do, just to keep away from the thought that you might have wanted—"

"Mustang, I'm not suicidal," Ed said irritably, much to Roy's relief and surprise. "I had a moment where I was getting my ass kicked. I hadn't had to deal with that in so long, I was…maladjusted."

Roy felt relief wash over him. At least Ed had stopped acting like some helpless child who didn't know if he'd willed being injured or not.

Ed once again interrupted his thoughts with a surprising interjection. "But you knew that, didn't you?"

The dark-haired military man was stunned. Once upon a time, he might've planned that turn-about, in hopes of getting Ed back on his feet, but he was honestly at a loss, for the first time in his life.

He shook his head, sighing. "No, Ed, I didn't. I was honestly afraid that you'd somehow given up when you were attacked, that you might've given up on living. I'm used to you coming back from everything battered and bruised, but not broken. I forget sometimes that you're not immortal. You're just a kid, really." He surprised himself so with his last statement that he felt the need to repeat it. "Just a kid…what was I thinking?"

"Roy," Ed said firmly, quickly gaining the colonel's attention. "I'm not a kid. I haven't really been a kid since my mother died. I definitely wasn't a kid when I became a state alchemist when I was twelve, even less so when I was last home." He sighed. "If you still think so, then why did I ever…"

"Have regrets?" Roy asked calmly. Of course he had regrets. He'd acted rashly and kissed a man more than twice his age! Of course the kid had regrets!

Ed cocked an eyebrow. "Regrets? About what?"

Roy smirked. So much for that thought. Then again, what Ed didn't realize was that he'd given Roy an opening—nay, he'd damn near given Roy an invitation—to invade his personal space. The question was…would he? What he did next might determine their relationship from that point on. It wasn't something to be taken lightly.

On one hand, he would be giving up so much, but on the other hand, he would be gaining so much more. Which did he value more: his military status, which would inevitably lead him nowhere, for what good, moral man succeeded in an occupation where so much corruption resided? Or was it in Edward he should invest? With Edward, things might not work out. They certainly would never be easy. They might get pretty messy. He could potentially be left with nothing.

Or…he could be left with everything. Was it really worth the risk?

"R-Roy?" Ed asked uncertainly.

Roy glanced up, taking in the sight that met his eyes. The sun peered through the blinds, striking Ed's golden hair and making his amber-colored eyes stand out brilliantly in the dull surroundings. And the way his mouth turned into that adorable little nervous frown…

Wait, had he just actually used the word "adorable"?

Yes. Yes, he had. Yes, it was worth it. Yes, yes, a million times yes.

He was doing this, and there was no turning back. Though he hadn't physically moved from his chair yet, his mind was already light years ahead of him. He knew his body would have to move quickly to catch up, not to mention that he'd have to be quick in order to gain the advantage he needed. He jumped up from his seat, moved to kneel on the bed, and quickly took up Ed's alarmed open mouth with his own.

It was nothing like he'd dreamed and everything like he'd hoped it would be. It was so different, kissing Ed, than it was when Ed had been kissing him. This time, he was ready, and Edward was the stunned one. It was exhilarating, it made his blood rush, and it scared the hell out of him. It was more than he'd felt in a long time.

Ed froze, alarmed. What was he supposed to do? It was everything he'd wanted and everything he'd feared, all in one. He had to stop himself before he did something damaging. He pushed Roy away gently, glad to find that there was no resistance, since he didn't think he could do the job with his one wounded arm.

"No, you can't do this to yourself, Roy. It will ruin your career," he said sadly.

Roy frowned, feeling frustrated. Couldn't the little pest be selfish for once? It didn't seem like that hard of a thing to do when he was younger.

But he's not younger. He's nearly a grown man now. He's more than just some selfish kid out for himself. He's really looking out for you, Maes lectured.

I'm sure he is, but this time, I just don't care about what happens. I'm just doing the first thing that comes to mind, Roy responded.

Maybe that's the problem.

Roy grit his teeth. Even in his mind, Maes always made sense. He sighed heavily, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

"Don't you think I know that? Don't you think I've already figured all this out? Do you think I'm some kind of idiot who can't make decisions for himself?" he asked irritably.

"No!" Ed shouted, making it clear that his voice was returning to him in full force. "No, I don't, but…I'm not worth it. Don't you get that?"

"Damnit, Ed!" Roy shouted back. "Quit feeling sorry for yourself! I don't think that you're not worth it. I think you are very worth it."

Ed felt his chest tighten. No one had ever made him feel so important, save Al.

"You'd better not be lying," he whispered.

"I've never been so honest," Roy said firmly. "Yes, I have lied to you before, for your own good, and IO should be lying now, but I'm not. Because I just can't."

Ed's brow furrowed as he tried to work everything out in his head. "How has anything changed that makes it so you can't lie to me? Tell me that."

Just a kid…

Roy shook his head. He must be out of his mind. But, wasn't that what love felt like?

Love? He glanced over to Ed, who was still disheveled, not in the least like any woman he might've ended up with. Maybe that was why he cared so much, or why the idea of settling down suffocated him so…

Yes…that must be it…

"It's because I didn't…" Roy began quietly. "I didn't…"

"Didn't what?" Ed asked impatiently. "Didn't what, Mustang?"

Roy's brow furrowed, making him look older than he was, perhaps as old as the years he felt. He'd imagined this differently. First of all, Ed wasn't in the hospital when he'd imagined how this would go. He'd been standing before Roy, dressed in the attire Roy had become so fond of, patiently waiting for what Roy had to say.

He nearly laughed. Maybe he was out of his mind. Ed, being patient? Was he stupid?

No, regardless of how he'd imagined it, this was how it was going to happen. It was almost fitting, actually. How Ed looked was how Roy had felt for years: battered, broken down, confused, always waiting for the next word. He'd been so foolish then. And now, here in this hospital room, this was where they'd finally find some healing.

"Ugh, if I had my right arm right now, I'd beat you with it," Ed said angrily, his patience having worn out.

Roy smirked. If the kid wanted it, well, he was going to get it.

"Well, Edward, I suppose it's just that I've never really seen you as a kid. Sure, you've proven time and time again to be a real pain in the neck and one nasty, impertinent, arrogant little brat, but I've always known the person you could be. I guess that's why I've always trusted your judgment and why I've let you do what you want." As the words left his mouth, he realized exactly what had been happening all along.

"I…it's my fault. I set myself up. Had I actually tried to restrain him more, like I should have, I wouldn't be here right now. He'd just be a damned kid…"

"Just a damned kid?!" Ed screeched. "Why, you stupid, arrogant bastard…"

Just as Ed was about to finish, he paused to examine Roy's unusual expression. His head was bowed slightly, his eyes narrowed to the point where very little of his eyes were visible.

Roy, too consumed in his own string of thought to realize he was actually speaking out loud. "Did I create this…this feeling? This strange…love?" Roy asked, his voice just above a whisper.

Ed's breath caught in his throat. Had Roy just said the "L" word? Was he talking about him, Edward Elric? He barely dared to hope; he only paused to listen, his mouth agape and his eyes large and round like dinner plates.

Roy suddenly realized that Ed never finished his sentence. He looked up and nearly smiled at how humorous Ed looked until he realized why the blonde might look that way.

He heard me…?

Ed's eyes were still but large amber orbs ready to fall from his head, and his mouth was still a large, gaping orifice that needed to be closed or filled. He seemed almost inhuman.

Little I can do about it now, Roy mused. It may not be how I wanted it done, but it's done.

Means and ends, right, Roy? Maes's voice teased from somewhere in the back of Roy's mind.

And Roy smiled. Not a smirk, or a half-hearted, tight-lipped grimace, but a full smile. It filled his face and lighted it in a way that was simply beautiful.

Ed noticed this and it made his heart flutter nervously. His hand began to tremble slightly to the beat of which his stomach was shaking. He felt sweat beads begin to accumulate on his forehead and if it weren't for his broken fingers and missing arm, he would have pulled his hair back to get away from the heat. His face was burning—a sure sign that he was extremely embarrassed at what was folding out before him.

"Y-y-you…why are y-you smiling? This isn't funny, Mustang! This is serious!" Ed said, his voice unusually high-pitched.

Roy laughed deep in his throat. He was relieved at how light he suddenly felt, as if a huge weight had been removed from his chest after having carried it for so long.

"What's the matter, Squirt? You look kinda feverish. Maybe you should lie back down before you hurt yourself," he teased.

"Squirt?" Ed repeated, his face reddening further, though it wasn't from embarrassment. "WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT HE'D PROBABLY FALL BETWEEN THE CRACKS IN HIS MATTRESS AND GET STUCK?!"

Roy shook his head, chuckling. "Nothing, Ed. Just calm down before you blow a vein."

Ed quieted down for a moment, looking at the ceiling, the wall, the floor—anything to avoid looking at that face that caused him so much trouble. He settled on a particularly interesting spot on the floor that just captivated his interest, mostly because it looked like a warped transmutation circle. It wasn't really close to resembling one, since it was more of an amoeba shape than anything, and he'd pity the guy who tried transmuting something on a circle like that—

"Ed," Roy repeated. "Ed, could you quit spacing out for one second and look at me?"

Ed blinked, forgetting what he was doing and glancing back up at the colonel. Al was always telling him what a forgetful person he was, especially when something more interesting (usually alchemy-related) caught his attention. However, this time was going to prove to be the one-too-many kind, as he automatically felt his heart wrench into his throat, to the point where he could practically feel his pulse behind his Adam's apple. He'd never been so grateful that looks couldn't kill, for the one Roy was giving him was one that would smother a person if they looked too long.

It looked like it would work anyway, because couldn't catch his breath. He could feel what was happening, but it was like it was going in slow motion. Roy leaned over again, cupping the side of Ed's face with his hand and gently lining his lips up with Ed's. He didn't want to startle the blonde, but he didn't want Ed to think that he wasn't being serious, either.

He was both surprised and pleased when Ed began to kiss him back. It was definitely not the best kiss he'd ever had, but it meant more than anything to him. When they finally broke apart, Ed's face was flush and warm. Roy smiled softly. Strangely, this was much easier than he'd thought it'd be. Maybe he really did lo—

His thoughts were interrupted as he heard the distinct sound of boots coming down the hall. From the clear heel-toe footfall, he could tell…

Hawkeye was coming. And she was coming fast.

Roy turned back to Ed. "Looks like I'm going to have to go." He sighed heavily, and at the last second, pressed a brief kiss to Ed's still slightly pursed lips. The older man stood up straight just as Riza came into view through the door.

Riza glanced into Edward's hospital room, not entirely sure what it was she had been expecting, because she was surprised to see that Roy was already starting to leave when she'd arrived.

"Perfect timing," Roy said plainly, smirking at her. "I was just about to go get you. How's Alphonse?"

"Al?" Ed asked in alarm.

Roy put a hand up to silence him. "No worries, Ed. Al's fine. He's just a little tired out from having to watch over you all the time. And here I thought you were the older brother."

Ed glared at Roy. "Don't even say it."

Roy shrugged and left the room, Riza in tow. Any other time, he would have found a way to make some kind of short joke and set Ed off. That was before…everything. Now, all he had to do was sit back and wait.

If he could even do that.