AN. WICKED IS COMING BACK! It was officially announced on Valentine's Day that Wicked will be returning this year. It will be in Auckland, New Zealand from September this year, followed by a Melbourne + Australian tour from May 2014. I am beside myself.
This chapter is dedicated two-fold. First, to Julia-Caesar. This weekend marks that we've been friends for two years.
Also to FaeYero4ever, who sent me a lovely message on my blog last night when I really needed it.
Your baby-to-be's lungs are developing rapidly, although she'd probably need a little help breathing if she were born at this point. Her respiratory system continues to develop, her nostrils are open, and she can breathe—but she won't take her first breath of air until delivery day. By your 25th week of pregnancy, her reproductive organs are formed (in boys, the testes have descended). Her skin is translucent and wrinkled, and she can hear your stomach when it gurgles and your voice when you sing. Your baby is becoming more aware of how she can move—she's wiggling her fingers and toes!
As Oz entered June and the official beginning of summer, it just happened to be the hottest week the Vinkus had seen in forty years, and Elphaba was not happy. And what followed was what felt like the Longest. Night. Of her life.
6.30 pm
"This is ridiculous," Elphaba muttered, trying to move around the kitchen and finding her large stomach somewhat, well, completely in the way.
Fiyero chuckled gently, and took the knife from her she was using to chop vegetables for a salad.
"Why don't you let me do that, and you set the table?" he suggested soothingly.
Elphaba sighed in frustration. "I can't do anything and it's like a million degrees today. Didn't the paper say we were going to get a cool change this afternoon?" she demanded, moving away to grab two placemats.
"Well, when has the paper ever been right about the weather?" Fiyero asked reasonably, but he knew what she meant.
The heat was particularly stifling today, and he knew Elphaba must be feeling it much worse than he was. And heat, and lack of sleep was making her crabby.
"And you need to stop poking around," she said warningly as she came back to grab cutlery.
Fiyero tried to look innocent. "What do you mean poking around?"
She rolled her eyes. "Fiyero, we go through this every year. You think I can't tell when you go looking for your birthday present? Have you ever found it?"
"No," Fiyero admitted, turning the chicken fillets in the frying pan. "But I think my determination to try and find it each year says something, doesn't it?"
"You and your determination," she muttered under her breath, moving away again.
"Hey, it won you over eventually!" he called after her teasingly.
When she came back to grab glasses, he just had to ask. "OK, so where do you hide it? I looked everywhere, and I found nothing."
Elphaba grinned. "You'll never find it. This is what I will hold over you for the next fifty years," she teased.
Fiyero leaned over and kissed her with a smile. "I look forward to it."
Elphaba looked like she wanted to roll her eyes at him, but couldn't because they were suddenly full of tears.
She opened and closed her mouth a few times. "You know you can't say things like that to me when I haven't slept," she said solemnly, sounding slightly teary.
"Even when they're true?" Fiyero replied but stopped at the look on her face.
"Ok, well the chicken's about done. You get the bread and I'll start serving up?" he said gently.
Elphaba nodded wordlessly and grabbed the bread basket and the salad bowl, taking them out to the table as Fiyero turned off the stove and served up the chicken onto the plates before following.
9.00 pm
"I think I'm going to go to bed," Elphaba said tiredly.
Fiyero looked up from the documents he was reading, and glanced over at her.
"You okay?"
She nodded faintly. "Fine. A little headache, but nothing some paracetamol won't fix. I'm just... tired."
"Ok," he agreed and immediately put his papers down and got up.
Elphaba rolled her eyes. "Yero, you don't have to go to bed just because I am."
He gave her a look and held out his hand to help her up, which she took without another word.
"I'm just going to grab the paracetamol and I'll be up," she informed him.
"I'll lock up," Fiyero offered.
Elphaba went into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of water and grabbing some paracetamol from the cupboard.
"If you want anything to eat now, this is your last chance," she addressed her stomach warningly.
The baby kicked softly in response and Elphaba smiled, but nevertheless went over to the pantry to see if anything struck her fancy. There was some leftover bread from dinner and she found herself pulling it out. It was lovely and thick and fresh, and she took a couple of slices, spreading them with apricot jam from the fridge.
Then she turned around to grab her water and paracetamol and paused in confusion. The counter was bare.
Frowning, Elphaba stood still for a moment. She was sure she had put the glass and pills just there, but there was nothing there- not even any ring of condensation from where a glass might have been.
"Didn't I do that?" she asked, but the room was empty and of course, no one answered.
Finally she simply shook her head and got out another glass, filling it with water. She was pretty sure she had some more paracetamol in the bathroom cupboard upstairs, so that wasn't an issue. Except the stairs were getting more annoying. Elphaba was pretty sure by the time the baby came she'd be sleeping downstairs.
Elphaba grabbed the glass and her bread and headed upstairs, slowly taking her time to climb the stairs.
"Hey," Fiyero greeted her casually as she entered the room. Then he did a small double take.
"Why do you need two glasses of water?"
Elphaba frowned again. "What?"
Fiyero pointed to her nightstand, and Elphaba blinked to see a glass of water sitting there, with the bottle of paracetamol.
"How did that get up here?" she demanded.
Fiyero looked at her blankly. "What do you mean? You knew I was bringing it up here."
"What? No, I didn't!" she spluttered. "How could I know that? Why didn't you tell me?"
Fiyero looked as confused as Elphaba felt. "Fae, I came into the kitchen after locking up, you were spreading jam on your bread, and I said I'd take your water and paracetamol up for you. Don't you remember?"
Elphaba only stared at him for a moment. "No, I don't," she admitted.
Fiyero laughed slightly. "Baby brain?"
Elphaba sighed. "Evidently. Or I'm going senile. Glass of water?" she offered.
He grinned. "Sure."
Elphaba handed him the second glass she'd brought up and took a paracetamol for her headache with the first.
"Can we open a window?" she asked, as she finished munching on her bread.
"Sure, but I don't think there's any breeze," Fiyero warned her as he crossed the room to open it.
"I'm hopeful that cool change might pop up overnight," Elphaba said wearily, climbing into bed and immediately tossing all covers off her.
Fiyero watched for a moment as she wriggled herself into a comfortable position, finally ending up in a half sitting position with three pillows behind her back.
"Are you comfortable?" he asked, slightly amused.
"For now," was the reply.
Fiyero climbed into bed beside her and leaned over to kiss her.
"Goodnight, Fae."
"Night."
It was maybe a degree cooler once Fiyero turned off the light and the room was plunged into darkness, but Elphaba still stared at the window longingly, as though willing the drapes to blow, which might hint at a cool breeze.
Even with the heat, or the fact he hadn't been particularly tired not that long ago, Fiyero fell asleep quickly, and Elphaba closed her eyes, the sound of his even breathing comforting her.
9.10 pm
Elphaba rearranged herself for the millionth time and let out a breath as she found a position that felt as though she could actually drift off. Her muscles slowly began to relax and she felt that pleasing feeling that came with being lulled to sleep...
And then she realised she had to go to the bathroom.
Eyes flying open, she let out another breath, this time laced with irritation.
"Seriously?" she demanded, but only a slight snore from Fiyero responded.
Elphaba pulled herself upright and swung herself out of bed, a task that was becoming increasingly more difficult. She could barely see her feet anymore, let alone stand on them unassisted. She stood still for a moment as her head swam slightly, which she knew was just a sign her blood pressure had taken another dip.
Of course, she thought as she headed to the bathroom, I shouldn't be surprised given I just drank water and this baby apparently thinks my bladder is a pillow.
For Elphaba, even more frustrating than the constant need to use the bathroom, was that when she did, barely anything came out. Which was perhaps one reason the trips were so frequent.
Sure enough, five minutes later Elphaba returned to bed.
She glared at Fiyero's sleeping form, who hadn't even moved as she left and returned to bed.
"Honestly," she muttered. "You'd sleep through-"
Elphaba stopped, both from lack of ability to think of an appropriate way to finish that sentence, and at the sudden memory that when Avaric had run her over three years ago, Fiyero had in fact, been sleeping.
"Honestly," she said again, curling up on her side and closing her eyes.
9.30 pm
It was no use, getting out of bed had taken away any hint of sleepiness Elphaba had felt previously.
So she gave up and lit the lamp again, picking up the novel she was currently reading, hoping it would relax her enough to help her sleep.
Elphaba was really enjoying it, even though it was taking her longer to get through than it would usually, because the pregnancy had taken her ability to concentrate along with everything else.
Entitled Hidden Secrets, it was the story of an unmarried nineteen year old girl in the Outer Vinkus who was accused of murdering her premature born baby and hiding the body. The novel covered the trial and included flashbacks to before the story took place. Elphaba had been recommended the book by Jewel, the last time she saw her, who had loved it. Elphaba wondered if it was because she could relate to the main character. The Outer Vinkus was notorious for being much more conservative, frowning upon children out of wedlock and such things.
Elphaba and Fiyero had met some of their harshest critics there when it was revealed they had eloped.
Elphaba was finding the book incredibly thought-provoking and deep, and raised some really interesting issues, and she was only about a quarter of the way through.
Glancing once more at Fiyero's sleeping form, Elphaba sighed and opened the book to her spot, beginning to read.
9.47
Two chapters and forty pages later, Elphaba was completely drawn in and just at a pivotal scene, when she stopped abruptly.
"Damn it, kid," she muttered, reluctantly putting down the book and swinging her legs out of bed.
She had to use the bathroom again.
10.23 pm
The cool change Elphaba had been hoping for didn't seem to be coming, if anything, it seemed to be getting hotter.
Her throat dry, she got herself back out of bed and grabbed her empty glass, padding into the bathroom to get a glass water.
She then swallowed it in two big gulps, closing her eyes as the cool liquid trickled down her throat, yet somehow not quenching her thirst.
The tiles felt cool under her bare feet, and as she set the glass down, she debated pouring another glass. But instead, she turned the bathtub and turned on the tap.
10.32 pm
Elphaba eased herself into the bath, enjoying the feeling of the cool water wash over her. It was far more adept at cooling her off than the drink of water had been, and she finally felt herself relaxing. Even the baby seemed to be relaxing- it had gone still and she hoped that meant the baby was sleeping- even if she wasn't.
Elphaba rested her head against the back of the tub and closed her eyes, stifling a yawn. All she had to do now was not fall asleep in the tub, which seemed more possible the longer she stayed in there.
So, instead she forced herself to sit up and reached out for her novel, thinking she may as well find out what had happened to the baby while she was awake.
The water was just cool enough to keep her refreshed without making her shiver, and Elphaba relished the quiet peace of the night as she read her book in the bath. There wasn't even any sound outside, and she could only just hear Fiyero's gentle snoring from the bedroom.
She managed to read another three or four chapters before deciding maybe it was time to try and get some sleep. She supressed another yawn as she stepped out of the tub, pleased to find she was feeling sleepy. Finally.
11.40 pm
It always took her a moment when she awoke from another nightmare, just a second to place where she was and what she had just experienced within her mind had not really happened.
It took her a few more moments to realise that if she'd had the usual nightmare, that meant she had actually fallen asleep. Glancing over at the clock in the moonlight to make out the time, she made a face. It hadn't felt like she'd slept at all, but apparently she had. Only about half an hour, but that was better than nothing right?
Sitting up, Elphaba wondered if she would ever stop being shaken by her nightmare. But every time, it shook her to her core. She just wanted it to stop, but she and Fiyero had had this conversation a million times and it always ended the same way.
Yes, she would most likely have to talk to Frex if she ever wanted to sleep again; but she could do nothing until he came out from Munchkinland for the baby's birth. They both agreed that there was no chance of hoping to sort it out via a letter, it was far too easy for Frex to ignore.
Besides, even if she was to try and write to her father, what in Oz's name would she say?
12.25 am
Unable to keep from dwelling on what she'd say to her father if he had the chance, Elphaba lit the lamp once more and drew out a notepad and pen from her nightstand drawer. Before she could have another thought, she began to write.
Dear Father,
For the past four weeks, I've been having a dream. Almost every night, I have to watch my child be born, his or her (it's never quite clear) skin as green as my own. And every time, I have to watch Fiyero turn his child away before he turns into you.
History repeats itself in my dreams.
I've grown up, lived my whole life knowing that you hate me. That I am not the daughter you expected, hoped for. That my birth was the beginning of our family's downfall...
1.05 am
Five drafts and twenty pages later, Elphaba finally put her pen down and rotated her wrist gently.
She knew there was no way she could ever send any of them, but it had helped...somehow, she felt. It had at least helped her sort out her thoughts, so maybe when the time came, she could talk to her father without having to think about it too much.
Elphaba leaned back and simply stared at the ceiling. She'd had insomnia before occasionally, during exams at Shiz, or a few times throughout the pregnancy, but never like this. She'd never felt this simple inability to fall asleep before, and it was driving her mad.
She was also thirsty again, she realised, and she although she debated momentarily whether to give into the urge to get up and get herself another glass of water, or lie here until she fell asleep; she got up and returned to the bathroom.
"I'll just be back in five minutes to use the bathroom again, anyway," she muttered.
1.25 am
It was twenty minutes, actually.
Elphaba always couldn't help but wince whenever she had to flush the toilet in the middle of the night, although she knew the noise wouldn't wake Fiyero up.
"That'll have to change when the baby comes," she said, although whether she was talking to herself or Fiyero, she wasn't sure.
But it wasn't just that, the noise always seemed so harsh to her in the middle of the night as it broke through the peaceful silence.
As she climbed back into bed, she glanced at the clock for the millionth time. 1.25 am...
1.35 am
With the lamp still lit, Elphaba found herself slightly more at peace. She'd found that lying in the dark, waiting and hoping for sleep to come was making her restless. When the room was lit, it somehow seemed more possible for sleep to come.
Being incredibly bored, not sleepy and tired of staring at the ceiling or the clock, Elphaba picked up her book once more.
"I'll probably finish the damn thing by dawn," she said to herself.
That was the other thing about being unable to sleep- the apparent need her brain had to fill the silence by talking to herself.
So Elphaba distracted herself, deciding that if she wasn't meant to sleep tonight, she could at least find out whether this girl really had killed her baby or not.
2.50 am
Elphaba didn't finish the book.
She was distracted as she began to muse on the situation the girl in the novel had found herself in. Unmarried and pregnant in a society that would shun her for the mere fact her child existed. She had hid her entire pregnancy from her family and her community, and then her child- her son, had been born premature and died.
She never even got to plan for the baby, Elphaba thought to herself, not even realising at her hands rested on her stomach.
With that thought in mind, Elphaba got out of bed once more, but this time, she slipped quietly down the hall to the room that by the end of the summer, would be transformed into the nursery.
Granted, she and Fiyero hadn't planned anything yet either, they just had decided that this would be the room and had been using it to store the many gifts people had been sending the baby so far. This was mostly because they couldn't agree on a gender-neutral colour scheme (Fiyero wanted green, Elphaba had glared at him and thought yellow was a better suggestion); but also because admittedly, Elphaba was stalling.
She wasn't really sure why, but suspected maybe she was wanting to hold out until Galinda and/or Nessa was here. This baby would be her sister's niece or nephew, and her best friend's godchild, but Elphaba felt like Galinda and Nessa had both missed so much of this experience, and she wanted to share something with them.
Elphaba wasn't sure if Nessa would want to-she might find the idea too painful, and Elphaba was trying to be considerate of her sister's feelings; but every time she got a letter from Galinda where her best friend had told her she had bought the baby a gift (usually pink), Elphaba wished Galinda was here so she could roll her eyes and remind her that the baby could very well be a boy in person, instead of through a reply letter.
Entering the room, Elphaba sat down in the only piece of furniture the room held- a rocking chair that someone had sent them when it had been announced Elphaba was pregnant.
3.15 am
Somewhere between planning where the crib would go, and debating whether the changing table should go in the left hand corner or the right, Elphaba felt her eyelids growing heavy as she absent-mindedly rocked herself back and forth...
4.15 am
At first Elphaba wasn't sure what had awoken her. Honestly, she wasn't sure if she'd been asleep.
Rubbing her eyes, she took a moment to think. For once, she didn't need to go the bathroom. She didn't think she'd had her nightmare again, and she didn't think she was thirsty.
I'm hungry, though, she had the sudden thought. And suddenly she realised that pancakes sounded really good right now.
Elphaba stood up and stretched, leaving the nursery and heading downstairs to the kitchen. As she entered, she caught the time and groaned. At least it was kind of close to a suitable breakfast time, right?
4.30 am
She was standing at the stove, pouring pancake batter into the frying pan when she heard footsteps.
A moment later, Fiyero entered the room, looking half-asleep and thoroughly confused.
"I smelled..."
"Pancakes?" she finished, holding out a plate with a few she'd already made.
"Yeah," he replied slowly.
Elphaba could practically see his brain waking up as he stood there, trying to comprehend what was going on.
"Fae, what are you doing?" he finally asked.
"I felt like pancakes," she answered. "Do you want some?"
Fiyero frowned and then approached her slowly. He took the plate from her and set it down.
"Fae, honey- have you slept?" he asked, seeing how awake she appeared to be.
Elphaba went to reply, and then paused. She'd dozed off twice, she thought, neither for very long and she wasn't really sure if she'd actually slept or not.
And then she burst into tears. "I don't know," she got out, and Fiyero immediately wrapped her in his arms and held her tightly.
She was mumbling through her tears, although Fiyero got almost none of it, except for vague references of "bath", "book" and "pee a thousand times". He simply held her until she calmed down, and finally he understood a whole sentence.
"I want pancakes."
"OK, hon," he said gently, pulling away and taking the spatula from her. "Let's make pancakes."
5.15 am
Elphaba was beyond exhausted by this point, but she still enjoyed her pre-dawn pancakes. As Fiyero took their empty plates away to the kitchen, Elphaba simply closed her eyes, keeping silent.
"Fae?"
She opened her eyes and looked up at her husband, who simply held out a hand.
"Come on."
"Where are we going?" she asked wearily, but took his hand.
"You'll see," Fiyero replied and led her out to the back garden.
The faintest streaks of pink were beginning to appear in the sky, and it was only as Elphaba sat down on the grass, Fiyero behind her and her leaning against his chest, that she realised the sun was rising.
"I thought as long as we're up, we may as well see the sun rise," Fiyero shrugged casually.
Elphaba chuckled faintly. "I'm sure we'll be seeing a lot more sunrises come September."
Fiyero smiled, but didn't say anything else.
"So, why couldn't you sleep?" he asked finally, breaking the silence.
"I don't know," she replied honestly. "It wasn't for lack of trying, trust me."
"You should have woken me," he scolded her lightly.
"Why? One of us should get some sleep."
Fiyero rolled his eyes. "Just wake me next time. Okay?"
"Okay," she agreed.
And as they slowly watched the sun rise, Fiyero realised Elphaba had finally fallen asleep.
AN. The book Elphaba was reading is based off a real book (I just changed the title and a few small things). The book is called "Plain Truth" by Jodi Picoult.