Chapter 24: Keeping Pace Through the Tears

Emma kept up her speed, running down the sidewalk. For a brief moment, she was thankful for being partially deaf...not having to hear if David was calling after her or if he was following her. That was scary all at the same time... Can you imagine it? Walking down the street and someone taps you on the shoulder, bumps into you, could easily grab you from behind and not know it... Precisely why if she ever went out at night, it was with someone else.

Keeping her pace, she made it back home, breathless with her chest heaving as she tried to withhold her sobs until inside.

When she entered the loft, Harper was in the living room pecking away at her laptop. She looked up upon hearing the door open and then saw Emma in the doorway from the kitchen to the living area.

Emma was pale. The natural color that usually warmed her cheeks and skin was gone. There was a hint of redness around her eyes, but what truly gave her away were the sobs that had now begun to escape her while she grasped for air. It was as if she were sucking in life itself while inside she felt she was dying, thinking she'd been betrayed, used, yet again.

"Emma...?" Harper's question lingered in the air. Harper quickly set her computer down and stood as Emma walked by as quickly as she'd appeared.

Making her way to Emma's room, the door was open a crack, but she withheld herself from entering to respect Emma's privacy. She stood there for a good five minutes listening to Emma's cries. It was heart wrenching. She'd seen Emma get hurt but find a way to rebound many times. This seemed different though for some reason. The sobs sounded so forceful that they seemed to rack through her body. From the look she'd received right before Emma had gone to her room, it was clear she didn't want company right now. Harper couldn't help herself though. She had to check on her dear friend.

Holding the door handle, she opened the door only enough to stick her head in the room. She saw Emma sitting on her bed (if you could call it that), her knees pulled to your chest and having your arms wrapped tightly around them while her head rested somewhat on her knees as if she were bracing herself for the frightfully upsetting and forceful tears. There were several kleenex strewn about with the box beside her.

Emma looked up briefly to grab a kleenex and noted Harper standing in the doorway. Her friend looked heartbroken for her. Emma felt bad for a moment as she hadn't said a word to Harper yet, but she couldn't bring herself to the point of composing herself yet. She simply shook her head at Harper's questioning eyes and quickly tapped her wrist as if to tell her, "Later."

Harper closed the door and left Emma to weep and sort things out, respecting her friend's wishes.

Emma kept herself in her room for the better part of an hour going through the motions and feeling it all - hate, anger, bitterness, loneliness, disgust, sadness, loss, betrayal, love, disappointment - towards herself, the horrible paparazzi, and while she felt guilty about it afterwards, David and even Harper. She thought herself a fool.

About an hour and a half later, she saw Harper peek in the room again. This time, she nodded. Harper padded over to the bed, her arm instinctively going to Emma's back as she began to rub it.

As she did so, she asked, "Are you ok? Are you hurt?"

At her words as if on cue, Emma burst into tears again. She nodded as they streamed down her face.

A few moments later, speaking aloud through her tears, she began, "Yes... But not physically." Her heart hurt as she added in a whisper, "I told you..."

Harper let out a soft gasp as her eyes glazed over as if in shock, hoping Emma was not going to inform her of what she was afraid she was about to hear, what she'd told Emma would never happen.

Gaining her composure once again, Emma finally explained to Harper what happened during her lunch with David. As she heard it, Harper couldn't help but feel a twinge of guilt for pushing Emma so much. It stung her to hear what happened with the paparazzi, another dismal experience for her friend. And yet, something inside Harper knew that this wasn't a complete story. Emma had simply left David. Surely he hadn't set her up. And quite honestly, Harper knew more about the situation than even Emma knew...right?

After spending a few moments comforting her friend, Emma finally decided she was going to take a nice hot bath to soothe her nerves. Harper left and headed back to the living room.

BACK AT THE PARK

David had left the park after the horrific incident with Emma, himself, and the paparazzi. He'd been furious and heartbroken at the time. He headed back to his hotel room instead of going after Emma because...well, because... He wasn't sure. He knew she was scared out of her wits by the paparazzi and he didn't want her to now associate him with the flashing, intruding lights. Far from it, he wanted to be the cause of flashing lights and moments in her life.

Now that it was several hours later and thankful that the pap hadn't followed him to his hotel, David cautiously made his way outside again. He walked back to the park.

He couldn't sit though, on the bench he'd sat on with her. Instead, he found himself pacing and as he did when he was upset or nervous, he ran his hands through his hair over and over, except now, he was almost pulling at it in his anger. He paced back and forth, around and around on no particular path. Fire still burned inside of him. He was furious with himself. He'd known how fragile she was, he realized how hard it must have been for her to even consider meeting him. She'd opened up in conversation, blessing and washing his soul by using her voice. And here he was, mad at himself. He should have known better, should have thought ahead of time in suggesting they meet outdoors. He was foolish to think that "no one" supposedly knew where he was. He should have... He should have... So many "I should have's..." ran though his mind. The fact of the matter was... He hadn't. He hadn't protected her like he could have...should have...will.

As he walked, he noticed a small, clear box on the ground near a tree. He bent to pick it up. "Cochlear" it read on top. "Left" and "Right" were written below it as two small pieces lay on a black pillow inside the box. His heartbeat quickened and he felt a mixture of hope and despair rise within him as he flipped it over.

Emma Lane

2456 Ross St.

Lexington, KY 40502

David brought his hand to cover his mouth as he contemplated what he had found. What was this? A sign? A sign that he should go after her? A sign of the pain he'd caused her? Hope? He began to pace again as he thought about it while he absentmindedly ran his thumb across the label with her name and address on it.

Would it be a smart choice to go see her now? Probably not, he ventured a guess. He considered it even more, searching within himself for all the reasons he should give her space and not go now. He finally came to one resounding conclusion.

It may not be a smart decision by any means, but...he would most certainly regret it if he did not go to her.