[January 2015]

Jo was on her way over to the conference room; already late for her meeting with Webber and whatever it was that he made them do that day. She sipped on her coffee one more time before throwing it in the trash and pushing the elevator button impatiently. She tried to hold back a yawn. Wasn't that freaking black stuff supposed to be helping her with alertness after a night of waiting for Alex to come home in front of the TV and going to sleep alone again eventually? She sighed deeply, looking up at the display. Oh, come on, already! She tapped her foot nervously when she heard a familiar voice talking nearby. Jo yanked her head around to look towards the nurses' station. It was Alex talking, she hadn't been hallucinating. She didn't know he had an appointment at the hospital today. Jo looked back up at the display showing the elevator's process and tried to decide between hurrying to Webber's side and going over to say a quick hello to her never seeming to be available to her boyfriend. Oh, what the hell, Webber could wait.

Jo hurried over to where Alex was standing with his back towards her talking to another doctor she didn't believe to have met. "Alex," she tried to catch his attention. "What are you doing here?"

Alex turned around to look at Jo in surprise, looking so handsome in one of his shirts and tie. She smiled at him slightly, awaiting a response.

"Jo," Alex looked back at the tablet he had been scrolling on. "Have you met Dr. Landsfield," ignoring her query and pointing over to the person standing next to him and slowly turning around. "He's from Boston, too, he's gonna be doing the rest of his residency here," Alex tried to introduce him, oblivious to Jo's halted breathing.

"Connor," she exclaimed in shock, finally having identified the guy Alex was standing with. Alex looked up at Jo in surprise, forgetting about what he had been doing.

"You already know each other, then," Alex concluded, looking in between a shell-shocked Jo and a smirking Dr. Landsfield. "Well, he's on my-," he tried to keep the conversation going before being cut off by an agitated Jo.

"What in the hell are you doing here, Connor?" Jo shot out angrily, sporting a deadly look on her face. Alex frowned slightly at his girlfriend's reaction to the newest addition to their group of residents.

"It's good to see you, too, Jo," the newcomer grinned. "I haven't heard from you in… well, years," he conversed easily. Alex looked in between those two. Wait, they knew each other from outside the hospital?

"Connor, what are you doing here?" Jo repeated, her voice having pitched to a slightly rude tone.

"Well, as Dr. Karev has informed you, I'm gonna be one of your colleagues from now on. I felt like my education wasn't well-rounded back at Boston Memorial, so I applied here instead and what do you know? They actually had some space for me," Connor chuckled.

"Why, I mean what? Why in the world did you decide to come here of all places?" Jo spluttered, Alex still trying to figure out what was going on.

"It's a renowned hospital with a kickass teaching program," Connor pointed out casually. "Why, don't you want me here?" he added with an evil grin. Jo rolled her eyes in exasperation.

"So, you guys know each other from somewhere else, then?" Alex chimed in cautiously, seeing his girlfriend's pissed off face. Jo who had almost forgotten Alex was standing with them, looked over at him and sighed.

"We went to med school together," she told him, dismissively.

"Oh, yes, we did indeed," Connor laughed, nodding knowingly. Jo shot him an angry glare while Alex frowned at the weird exchange.

"I'm late, I gotta go meet Webber," Jo turned around to look at Alex. "See you later, alright," she squeezed his arm affectionately before running off without another word towards Connor who had been watching the exchange attentively.

Later that night, Jo was waiting tiredly in the hospital's lobby for Alex to meet her. Her day had been crap. As the elevator's doors moved open, she pocketed her cell phone in irritation, having ignored seven incoming calls sporting a Boston area code already – which could only be one person. Alex walked out and she smiled at him exhaustedly, getting up and walking towards him.

"Hey," she breathed out, immediately directing him to take her into his arms.

"Hey there, yourself," he greeted her, putting comforting arms around Jo. "Long day?" He felt her nod within his embrace and kissed her temple lovingly.

"Do you wanna go straight home or are you up for a beer at Joe's?" Alex asked her, pulling back slightly. She looked up, giving him a small smile.

"No, it's okay, let's socialize a bit before going home. I feel like all I do these days is work and sleep," she said, sighing, picking up her stuff and joining hands with her boyfriend before walking out of the hospital and across the street towards the bar. They walked in one after the other and looked around for who was present. Alex immediately spotted Jackson and motioned towards her that he was gonna join his table, Jo nodding at him, smiling. She walked over towards where Stephanie was standing, talking to someone she couldn't make out behind the corner. When she arrived at her friend's side, Stephanie looked at her excitedly. Jo turned her face to look at her conversational partner, sighing.

"You again," Jo spit out, annoyed.

"I didn't realize we had parted that badly," Connor just stated, smiling at her. Jo gave him a dirty look.

"Oh, so you know each other?" Stephanie chimed in, looking interested.

"I so wish I could deny it," Jo murmured, ordering a beer. Stephanie raised her eyebrows at her.

"Why?" Connor looked at her curiously.

"Oh, wipe that stupid grin off your face, jackass," Jo started out, irritated about Connor's behavior. "Did you follow me here on purpose?"

"Oh, as beautiful and wonderful as you are, my life actually continued after you left, but I'm happy to hear that you still miss me," he teased her. Stephanie looked at them in confusion.

"Were you guys…," she started, Jo cutting her off.

"Oh, don't be smug. It's been years since I saw or thought about you last," she told him sharply. "Don't flatter yourself." Connor laughed at her, taking a sip of his liquor.

"Don't get too defensive, Jo. I'm just here to finish my residency, I promise. I'm not trying to mess up you pretty little life," he looked at her with wide eyes, seemingly genuinely wanting to make an effort.

"Who gave you my cell number and why do you keep calling me?" Jo started, losing her coolness. Connor looked at her with confusion in his eyes.

"What are you talking about?"

"You've been calling me all day," she stated, matter-of-factly.

"No, I haven't. I've been following your boyfriend like a little puppy dog all day," he pointed out, trying to get a confirmation of his suspicions on her relationship status with the senior doctor.

"Sure you have," Jo countered again, fishing out her cell. "There. Seven calls from a Boston number," she held it out in front of his eyes provocatively.

"That's not my number," Connor just replied, looking at her suspiciously. "Are you sure you feel okay? You are behaving very odd around me today," he teased her. Jo looked at him, feeling a little uneasy. Who the hell was calling her from Boston? This couldn't be a co-incident, right? Two Boston acquaintances re-appearing in one day? Jo's face was still showing confusion, when Stephanie spoke up.

"Jo, are you okay? You actually are acting a little weird today," she stated carefully, watching Jo's reaction. Her friend waved her away.

"No, no, I'm fine, really, just tired," Jo said, still looking down at the number, trying to think of a person who had an acceptable reason to call her from Boston. She shook her head in puzzlement.

"So, continuing our actual conversation," Connor started up again, making Jo look at him bewildered, as if she had forgotten he was there. "Friends?" he asked her, one eyebrow raised. He held out his hand for her to shake when she didn't answer immediately. After a second she gave in and shook his hand unceremoniously, immediately looking down at her phone again. Stephanie still looked confused about the odd exchange but settled with the friendly conversation they were engaging in. After a while, Alex strolled towards them, standing a little apart and calling over to her.

"Jo, are you ready to go?"

She turned around, not having seen him before. She nodded. "Yes, absolutely," she said, packing her stuff, Connor watching them interestedly. Jo hugged Stephanie good-bye and walked passed Connor without saying anything.

"We should get together sometime," he called after her, making her turn around and look at him. "For old time's sake, you know," he slowly released, giving her a small smile. Jo sighed.

"Sure, why not," she decided. Why make a big deal about it, right?

He smiled at her slightly and she turned back towards Alex, who had been waiting for her patiently. They drove home together in silence, both tired from their respective work days. Lying in bed together, Alex pulled his girlfriend close and kissed her deeply.

"Mmh, Alex," Jo whispered against his lips. "I missed you," she murmured. "I never get to see you these days," she scolded him slightly before kissing him again. They made out a little while, only stopping every couple of moments to breathe and feel each other up.

"So, what's the deal with Landsfield?" Alex finally voiced, in the middle of their intimate actions. Jo closed her eyes and sighed, still fondling with Alex's shirt and trying to get him to kiss her again.

"Nothing," she got out between kisses. "Nothing that I wanna talk about right here right now," she said, disappointment washing over her when she felt Alex pull away and not letting her have it. She rolled her eyes and pouted.

"I know him from medical school," she repeated from earlier that morning. Alex looked at her, waiting for elaboration. She paused for a second, her eyes averting his. "We hooked up sometimes," she admitted, glancing up at Alex's face fleetingly before looking down again. Alex raised his eyebrows and guided her chin up to make her look at him.

"That happened like years back, I swear, I didn't even know he was coming here. He's annoying and I don't even know why I had sex with him in the first place," Jo tried to convince Alex frantically, pleading with her eyes. To her surprise, Alex chuckled.

"You think I never had sex before I met you?" he asked her softly, running his fingers through her hair. Jo let her head fall sideways and looked at him, feeling mocked.

"I just wanted you to know that he is way past. I don't want you to… worry or something," Jo stuttered lightly. Alex smiled at her, leaning back down to graze her lips with his softly.

"I'm gonna worry when you give me something to worry about, alright?" he told her, making her smile against his lips.

[back in 2019]

Jo listened to Alex's story intently. "I can't believe that guy had the nerves to show up again," she commented quietly, a small laugh forming in her throat. "He's such a fool," she said, looking at Alex's face, slowly realizing what she was seeing. Insecurity.

"Yeah, you should have told me that back then," he whispered.

"What do you mean?" she asked, concerned.

"Well, I didn't realize that you had absolutely nothing left for him," he explained.

"Didn't you just tell me that we had been talking about the fact that you weren't worrying?" Jo asked him in confusion. Alex sighed.

"That kind of took a bad turn, quickly even," he replied, pain flashing through his eyes. Jo squeezed his waist comfortingly.

"What happened?"

"Well, we kind of hit a rough patch with me working too much and never spending much time with each other. I mean, I really tried but to be honest, back then I didn't even realize that I made you feel lonely in our relationship with everything else going on. You were just a resident, you were trying to pull through, but I was working on big things back then. I was commuting between my patients at the practice and patients at the hospital, sitting in on board meetings and trying to keep my Africa project running. I was so pre-occupied, I didn't realize your attempts to try to get me to spend more time with you," he confessed, smiling sadly. "And worst of all, I didn't realize you had things going on in your life as well. Things you needed me to join in. Things you needed to talk about. And I just… I ignored pretty much all of it." Alex hung his head in shame. "So, you started occupying yourself with other things, for instance, making Landsfield's transition to Seattle easier," he said.

"Are you saying I…," Jo started out, horror reflecting in her eyes.

"No, no, that's not what I meant," Alex dampening her fears immediately. "You just… he was there when I wasn't and you started meeting him a lot… hanging at the bar with him… having drinks, coming home late, rekindling your once-upon-a-time friendship," he explained. "But I didn't realize that… to me it looked like you found your interest somewhere else…," he said, recalling the times.

[January 2015]

Jo stumbled up the stairs, trying to be quiet but giggling at herself for being so drunk. She had been spending the night with Connor and Stephanie at the bar since it was her day off the next day and Alex had been unavailable to her – again. Jo had had a horrible week. Her job was driving her crazy. Callie Torres was insisting on the fact that Jo had to go into Ortho but as much as she had loved it for a while, she eventually had realized, it wasn't her thing entirely. At the same time she was so worried about the safety of her job, making a board member angry. Also, she had gotten a call from Mrs. Schmidt, one of the only people she had still been keeping in touch with from her past. Mrs. Schmidt had been kind enough to enlighten her to who had been calling her from Boston and telling her a woman she hadn't known herself had been looking for her. Jo hadn't told anyone about it because the only one she wanted to tell her fears and anxiety to was the one person seemingly actively ignoring her at the time. Alex.

Anyways, Steph, Connor and Jo had done too many rounds of shots and she was way past rational. The bedroom door squeaked when she opened it slowly and she saw how Alex woke up to her movements. She smiled. Before she knew it, Jo found herself climbing on top of a still drowsy Alex, looking up at her warily.

"You are drunk," he stated, distorting his face in disgust.

"Wasted," she shot out with a giggle, bending down to kiss her boyfriend passionately. Alex pushed her away with determination, Jo looking at him in offense.

"Sleep it off," he told her, trying to get her to move.

"No," she argued a little angrily, trying to make him kiss her again.

"Jo, stop it, you're being ridiculous," he said again, a little sharper.

"What the hell's wrong with you? Since when are you denying me sex?" Jo started to freak out. Alex rolled his eyes at her and moved her from his body and turned around to face the other wall.

"Alex," she shrieked out fiercely. "Don't you dare ignore me," she added, climbing him again. Alex started to get agitated himself.

"Jo, don't make me go sleep somewhere else. I for one have to get up in the morning and work, I can't party all night and get wasted," he snarled at her. Jo looked at him, hurt. Her lips have become a very thin line and she withdrew from him, getting up.

"You know, you have made it pretty clear the last few weeks that you are a big shot and I'm just a stupid little resident who has nothing to do on her hands and busies herself with fun and alcohol. And yes, if you wanna hear me say it, I am having lots of fun going out and drinking and living my life because honestly, you haven't been talking to me, spending time with me, touching me for that matter, in weeks. I mean, what do you want from me? Wait until you are done with your really important work until you finally have a second to spare for me? I have been trying to be patient and supportive and trying to understand but you won't let me in. All you do is push me away and show me that I'm not important enough to take some time off to be with me," Jo yelled at Alex's back. He turned around to look at her with angry eyes.

"You know what, why don't you go be with your little friend Connor? He sure has no objections about taking you in and taking care of you considering that I have been a horrible boyfriend to you," he yelled back at her. Jo looked at him fiercely, breathing heavily.

"I don't know where this is coming from," she shot out, questioningly.

"Well, are you denying that you have been spending most of your time with him at the bar?"

"No, I'm not, but you know I would be spending it with you if you were available every once in a while," she came back furiously. "It's not like I wanna spend time with him instead of you. But it seems he is more concerned with my well-being than you are," she commented, knowing she was completely out of bounds and a little unfair, but she didn't care since she was drunk and lonely and mad.

"Go to hell," Alex spit out before turning around again and trying to sleep. Jo took a deep breath, supporting her arms on her sides and staring at Alex's outlines. What the hell was happening? After deciding that no good was coming from fighting when she was clearly not in her right mind and he was clearly tired, she got herself dressed for bed and washed. She lay down on her side of the bed and fell asleep pretty quickly, exhausted from drinking, partying, working and fighting.

[A week later]

J- Alex, please call me back, Wed 10.02a.m.

J- Where are you? Wed 11.13a.m.

J- Alex, I really need to talk to you, please. Meet me for lunch? Wed 12.52p.m.

J- Ok, seriously, what's going on? Are you ok? Wed 4.39p.m.

J- Come on, can you just pick up your phone? Please. I need to talk to you, Wed 7.23p.m.

A-Sorry, board meeting, Wed 7.40p.m.

-Again, weeks later-

The next couple of weeks went by slowly. Alex had not been paying any more attention to Jo and diving into another load of work while Jo tried to busy herself with studying surgery diligently and spending her free time at the bar or at Stephanie's. She hadn't talked to anyone about their relationship problems; she didn't even wanna realize they were stumbling a bit. When they were both home, they ignored each other quite a bit and their exchanges were polite but cold. At night, they would lay next to each other, sometimes finding themselves entangled in the mornings, sometimes waking up to a huge gap in between them. Jo was exhausted. So was Alex.

One night, when Jo had just made it out of surgery and decided it was no use going to the bar again, she drove home and met a much drained looking Alex sitting on the couch and having a beer while watching some movie. He looked up at her quickly before his eyes went back to the screen. She sat down beside him and sighed for her feet were hurting badly.

"How was your day?" she asked him after a few minutes of silence.

"Fine," he answered dryly, not trying to engage in the conversation. Jo looked at his profile.

"I scrubbed in with Hunt today," she informed him. "It was so cool, you wouldn't believe it. When the patient came in, blood was everywhere. He had apparently been trampled by a bull on his farm," she dove into the story, ignoring Alex's indifference. "It was amazing, Hunt let me do all kinds of stuff in the OR. I think I really start liking trauma…. I have been thinking, maybe that's a path I should be following for a while," she looked over at him, taking another sip of his beer.

She took a leap and inched closer to Alex, cuddling into his side. He didn't reciprocate the affection but hadn't pulled away either.

"How's it going at the practice?" she asked him quietly, running her hand up and down his chest.

"Fine," he repeated. She sighed.

"Alex," he reprimanded him, trying to coax something out of him.

"It's fine. Nothing much to tell. There's always something to do," he told her defensively. Jo sighed again.

"Okay," she said quietly, taking another deep breath. Everything was so awkward between them. If somebody tried, Jo was sure they could have cut the air in that room from all the tension. They hadn't talked much after their rough encounter in the middle of the night several weeks back. But neither of them had walked out either. It was just a fight they had to get over with. Jo was still carrying around the information she had gotten from Mrs. Schmidt, and she needed to get rid of it terribly. Now was not the time, though.

"Do you wanna talk about what's going on between us?" Jo voiced straightforwardly after pondering about it for a few minutes.

"What's going on between us?" Alex shrugged indifferently. Jo could feel herself getting agitated again.

"Please, don't patronize me. We haven't had a normal talk in weeks. We're ignoring each other, we're fighting a cold war, you are mad at me constantly for something and I don't even know what it is. You never have any time on your hands to spend with me… I have been trying to talk to you… I have needed to talk to you… about things…. But you… you treat me like you don't even want me any more… or love me for that matter," she said, her eyes tearing up a bit, but Alex didn't notice. He just stared at the TV. Jo bit her lips. After a second, she cupped his face with her right hand and turned it over to look him straight in the eyes.

"Will you at least sleep with me if you are not going to talk to me?" she asked him, not sure what she was expecting or where her demand was coming from. But she had missed him so much. He hadn't touched her for what seemed like ages. It probably wasn't even that long but considering how active they were when everything was okay, she was feeling like she was out on cold turkey. Alex looked at her piercingly, seemingly in thought. He pulled away slightly, making her sigh in disappointment and hurt, only to place his still half-full beer bottle on the coffee table and lounging into a passionate kiss that took Jo's breath away. She hadn't expected that. She moaned loudly, trying to give him back just as much and groped for him desperately.

He laid himself on top of Jo, starting to undress her, making her buck her hips at him, slowly becoming hard himself. Alex's kisses and touches were rough but Jo couldn't help herself, this was all she had wanted from him. She needed to know that he was still into her. That he was still invested in their relationship. They both breathed heavily and their lovemaking was vehement and once they had both finished, they lay on the couch in silence, Jo having put tight arms around Alex who rested his head on her chest, breathing out his high.

Jo had almost fallen asleep, when she felt Alex get up and her alarms went off in her head. When she propped herself up on her elbows to watch what he was doing, she could feel the icy air between them. Alex turned away from her, gathering up his things and walking out of the room. Jo felt her insides cringe. She couldn't help it anymore; she had run out of strength to make Alex come back to her. Jo felt how a big shudder was gathering inside of her and tears started streaming down her face. She cried herself to dark oblivion until hours later she woke up to an empty living room.

Weeks passed by them and they hadn't made any real progress. They were talking to each other a little more normally again and Alex tried to finish work a little early now and then to be home with Jo but the air between them was still stifling. One night, they were invited to meet with a big party of doctors at Joe's to celebrate April's birthday. It was the first night they spent together in company of their friends since they had started their cold war.

"Alex, have you thought about our offer yet?" Arizona spoke up during light chatter they all engaged in. Alex having put a lazy arm around Jo jerked slightly when he could feel Jo's eyes on him.

"What offer?" Jo asked, insisting on not letting this pass quietly. Arizona looked at her in surprise, before turning back to Alex and giving him a strange look.

"You didn't tell her?" she asked him incredulously, making him squirm, still not replying. When Alex wouldn't say anything, Jo turned back to Arizona, questioning her with her eyes. Arizona sighed.

"We – as in the rest of the board – offered Alex a full position back at the hospital… with a really good paycheck and benefits," she informed Alex's girlfriend, Alex still silent at her side. "You know, Alex, I do take offense that you aren't even flattered enough to tell your girlfriend about our offer," she added with an angry voice. Jo turned her head back at Alex, trying to make him look at her. He glanced at her eyes swiftly, sizing up her emotions and faced Arizona.

"I haven't had the time to do so," he answered matter-of-factly, taking a sip of his drink. "I'm still deciding," he told her quickly, trying to calm her down. Arizona gave him another mad glare before engaging herself in another conversation.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me," Jo told him in a disappointed voice, only for him to hear. Alex sighed, not looking at her.

"It's been… a rough couple of weeks," he tried to defend himself, not caring much what she thought about it. Jo faltered. She felt like she was breaking inside. They had reached a point where she wasn't sure they were ever going back to the way things were before.

"Yeah, same here," she muttered quietly, making Alex glance at her fleetingly, trying to observe her face and the meaning of her statement but couldn't since she had clearly put on a mask.

They spent a couple of more hours at the bar before deciding to go home. When they both lay in bed, both wide awake, Jo turned to her side and looked at him.

"Why didn't you tell me about it?" she asked him, trying to hold the tears back. To her surprise, he faced her head-on.

"You know now, don't you," he replied dismissively.

"This can't go on like this, Alex, you know that, right?" she presented him with the facts. "I'm sick and tired of us treating each other like we are not in this together. I can't do it anymore. We need to find a way back to who we were before we started this," she urged him. Alex looked at her, not answering for a while. When he did speak up, she was confused at first.

"He's in love with you, you know," Alex stated matter-of-factly.

"Who?" she asked, feeling a little stupid after thinking about it for a second and closed her eyes.

"You know who," Alex replied, making Jo chuckle. "Why's that funny?" he asked in offense.

"It's not. You just said 'You-know-who' and I was thinking about…," she started in amusement before realizing how serious their talk was. "Forget it, I'm sorry," she said quickly. Then she reached over to hold his hand.

"Alex, he's not in love with me. We're friends. We're colleagues. There's nothing more to that. You need to trust me," she offered him.

"Don't you see how he watches you? The glimmering eyes and the polite chuckles and the helpful hand always at your side," he rambled on. Jo listened to his worries closely.

"You're imagining stuff, Alex," she tried to kill his suspicions. "Nothing's going on between us," Jo insisted.

"I didn't say something was going on between you two. I was just saying, he fancies you," Alex explained to her. Jo sighed.

"Alex, you need to trust me," she said again, inching closer to him, surprised about Alex's arm finding its way around her waist and pulling her flush to his body.

"I do," he said, looking at her earnestly. She gave him a small smile, feeling like it wasn't over between them for the first time in weeks. They looked at each other for a minute before Alex swooped down and kissed her gently. She put her hands around his neck and groaned in relief. "I missed you," she murmured against his lips, not wanting to let go just yet.

"I'm sorry for being a douche," he told her shyly, running his fingers down her back. "I just… it's all been a little much and… I… my head was in a bad place and I couldn't tell you about the offer… I'm still not sure what to do about it," he informed her tentatively.

"Alex," she looked at him with pain in her eyes. "I'm not expecting an answer from you… I just wanna be involved in your life," she told him, empathetically. She leaned in for another kiss. "I thought we were doing this together?" she voiced quietly. He nodded at her.

"I'm sorry," he said again.

"Do you wanna tell me what it is that you are so mad about?"

"Nothing," he just said, dismissing her, pulling her into a hug. He ran his fingers up and down her back, feeling how she shivered slightly. She was crying.

"What's up with you?"

Jo just shook her head, hugging him a little tighter. Alex sighed. He didn't know what to do. He couldn't even remember how all of this had started. It just felt to him like, one little thing after the other had happened, small things, tiny things really, and he hadn't found the courage to tell her at the time or voice his feelings and then he had felt himself pull away from her and every time he wanted to get back to her, he felt more embarrassed for pulling away in the first place, which made him pull away even more. It didn't really make sense. Well, it made sense to him. And then that Landsfield guy. God, he knew Jo was in love with him, Alex, just as much as he, Alex, loved her. He knew, she would never cheat on him, he knew she wasn't interested in her ex-hook-up. He knew that. But then again, maybe there would be a time when he fucked up even worse and she would turn towards him because it was convenient. Because he was there, offering himself. Maybe Alex hadn't fucked up enough already, maybe he would keep doing so and at some point, she wasn't going to stick with him anymore. Even though, at that very moment, she was lying in his arms, sobbing quietly. Wait, what? Why was she crying?

"Jo," he whispered softly. She shook her head vehemently. "Baby, come on," he murmured into her ear. Alex tried to pull her back slightly, to look at her face but she wouldn't budge, and she was strong. She held on tightly to him. "Tell me what's going on," he murmured further. "Besides me being a jackass," he told her, sheepishly. This time Jo didn't move at all, but he could feel how she tried to steady herself and shape words against his chest.

"I… I… no, it's nothing," she stopped again after her first try.

"I'm sorry I haven't been there for you lately," Alex whispered gently. "But I am now. Tell me," he told her again. He could feel tears running down Jo's face quietly.

"A while ago," she started shakily. "A while ago, my old teacher, Mrs. Schmidt, she called me," she explained with a husky voice. "She told me that a woman had been looking for me. A woman she had never seen before. But well… with my history and all… and her looks…. Well, Mrs. Schmidt was wondering if she could have been… you know…," she explained in a very low voice. Alex guts cramped. He was such an idiot. She was going through hell and he had been ignoring her. God, you jackass. He sighed heavily, pulling Jo even closer, trying to soothe her. When Jo realized that Alex had already caught on, she crumpled up and started crying even more heavily. Alex tried to calm her for a while, before she could speak again.

"I didn't pursue it. I didn't want to. I couldn't find the… I mean… I can't…," Jo took a deep breath. "I don't even know if it's her. I don't. But you know… if it's her… she should have come back like 27 years ago. I mean… what the hell? It's too late now!"

Alex could feel her becoming a little more restless and he shushed her lightly. They lay in silence for a while to digest what had been said.

"Mrs. Schmidt called again the other day. The day I tried to call you a thousand times, by the way," she couldn't help pointing out. Alex sighed, biting his lips in regret. "The woman had been back. And she had left a number. She wants me to call her," she explained, her voice a little more steady now. Alex shook his head barely noticeable and closed his eyes. Jo pulled back slightly to look at him.

"What?" she asked him in confusion.

"Jo," he started, desperately trying to think of something reasonable to say. Something that might make his behavior seem a little less…terrible. Nothing came up. "I am so terribly sorry," he got out before Jo put her fingers on his mouth and shushed him.

"I don't wanna hear it," she told him, anger flashing within her eyes that were glazed over and red-rimmed. He tried not to break the eye contact but he couldn't. He felt like this was the worst he had ever behaved towards someone who had been loving and caring towards him continuously. Jo grabbed his face and pulled it up again, kissing him, deeply. He reciprocated, hesitantly. She pulled back before hugging him tightly again.

"What the hell is wrong with us?" she whispered into his chest, before losing several more tears. They stayed like that until they both had fallen asleep.