Chapter Twenty Five: No Control
Meeting you was fate. Becoming your friend was a choice. But falling in love with you, I had no control over.
-Unknown
xxXxx
Baron blinked at the accusation. Neither Toto nor Richard had dared to use that word, when it came to his rapidly growing feelings for Haru. "Preposterous-"
"Baron, you've never spoken that way about a girl before. And… you actually retrieved Muta for her on a whim!"
"I should have done it from the start," the kitten snapped back. "She's stated over and over that the only things she truly loved about her world are the sea and Muta. Now she has both here, and as such will now have no regrets about having to stay in the kingdom." 'Unless she starts thinking about the engagement again, but there's little I can do about that.'
Lune groaned as he leaned against a wall. "No no; this is all wrong," he groaned in agony. "I am almost positive that she has feelings for you as well."
"You think so?" Baron asked hopefully before he could stop himself. "Wait, that's not important-"
"You should have seen the smile on her face when she realized you were coming back. She never smiles like that for me."
"Well, have you ever tried to give her a reason?" Baron accused. "Or are you too busy wishing you were with Yuki when you're with her?"
"Now see here-" Lune tried to say defensively.
"No buts. You are still the one destined to marry Haru, and you are going to honor her as you know she deserves. If you don't," Baron threatened at a crescendo, "I'll inform Muta on what you've been up to."
Lune recoiled in horror. "But what about those conditions he agreed to? The one about offering me violence?"
"He will break it. I guarantee you he will break it if you hurt Haru. Please remember that she learned how to fight from him, and he's fiercely defensive of her. I'll see you at dinner," he hissed between his teeth before marching away. He didn't entirely trust himself to remain coldly polite to the prince at this point.
"Ungrateful, philandering bigamist…" Baron muttered under his breath angrily, ignoring how exhausted his legs were. Almost three constant days of riding Toto had made them weaker than usual, and his temper wasn't doing them any favors.
Finally, just outside the dining hall, he fell against a stone wall to catch his breath and rest his legs.
'Am I in love with Haru?' he couldn't help but ask himself.
The only answer he got was from his heart, which was pitter-pattering unsteadily to the beat of her name.
"Ha-ru. Ha-ru," it seemed to sing out, making him cover it with one gloved hand in case anyone overheard.
"It doesn't matter if I love her or not," he whispered to himself; avoiding the question completely. "She is marrying Lune, end of discussion."
Why did that have to feel like a blow to the gut? That was how he knew things had to be, even before personally meeting her.
So why did this entire mess feel wrong?
He sighed, and let himself into the dining hall. Theresa and Lily were just setting out plates of one of his favorite dishes; filet mignon.
"That looks wonderful," he said gratefully as he chose one of the seats.
"The lady asked for it. Is she going to be here soon? You usually escort her in, after all," Theresa noted in confusion.
"I'm afraid not this time; she's becoming acquainted with her new body guard, and it might be a few hours before she thinks about food."
Lily seemed incredulous, but took back the plate that was right next to him. "One would think that she of all people would be fine without one. A body guard, I mean."
"Oh, she'll be the first to disagree with you," Baron assured her with a satisfied grin. "Please inform the cooks that it will be a while before she's ready to eat, and her companion eats an average of three times as much as she does."
Lily's eyes widened in shock. "That's a lot of food," she said numbly, taking the plate back to the kitchen. "I'll warn-inform the cooks," she corrected herself with a nervous giggle.
"Actually, 'warn' is a bit more accurate," he couldn't help but laugh as he tucked into his supper.
Both of the servants laughed with him, and left him alone.
It took him another minute to figure it out, but as he looked around, he realized that he was alone. He had never eaten in this large room before on his own, and the clatter of his silverware seemed to echo unusually loud.
'Haru was right. Stone walls make wonderful acoustics.' He sighed, and returned his attention to the delicately prepared meal.
He couldn't help but feel that he was getting a small taste of what life would return to being, once the snow would start falling.
ooOoo
Baron knew better than to go up to his room after eating. He knew Haru was going to hunt him down once she was done catching up with Muta, and so was careful to place himself somewhere that she would be able to get to him with ease.
So, while attempting to find a book he hadn't read in a while, the library's curtain flew to the side, the slight sound of the heavy draperies being his only warning.
Even as he turned around to see her, she managed to run up to him, gently pick him up and off the ladder so that she could squeeze him like a teddy bear.
"I've said it before, and I'll say it again," she whispered into one of his ears happily. "You are the coolest cat I've ever met."
"He's explained how things need to be?" he whispered back, feeling his face heat up from the compliment.
"He has. Baron… thank you so much for bringing him here," she tried not to sob, kissing his cheek affectionately. "I still can't believe you did it, but… I'm glad you did. I owe you big time."
"What? Nonsense," he objected although he was starting to feel dizzy from the kiss. "That was the bare minimum that I owe to you. I… I should have brought him sooner, but… I was scared," he mumbled, not wanting to tell her of his less obvious weaknesses.
She laughed at that, and squeezed him again. "Don't be silly. You're the bravest guy I know, other than Dad and Muta."
"… Thank you, Haru. Coming from you, that's a high compliment."
She grinned at him, and gave him another big hug. As she did so, her soft brown hair fell against his face on accident. He inhaled the scent lingeringly; she smelled of the sea, with a small trace of the forest surrounding his castle.
It was strange; he had been treated to this scent since he first came here, and yet, it was nothing less than intoxicating for Haru to have embodied the soothing smell on top of her personal scent. Although he knew it was fruitless to wish it, he still wanted there to be a way for her to just stay with him at his estate.
It wasn't like anyone at the palace deserved her, especially Lune.
But, after a while, Haru reluctantly put him down, and gave him another smile. "So, I'll see you in the morning? No more sudden trips?"
"Not in the foreseeable future," he assured her, thrilled that she had missed his presence.
"I am almost positive that she has feelings for you as well."
The little kitten flinched from the thought. Such a thing could never become reality. It was beyond forbidden on so many levels.
"Baron?" she asked in worry, kneeling in front of him. "Is something wrong?"
"No, nothing's wrong," he quickly assured her, not quite sure of what he was thinking.
Or doing. But he couldn't tell her where his thoughts had been leading him.
"… May I touch your hair?" he asked in a rush, grasping the first thing he could think of.
Haru's eyes widened in astonishment. For a painfully long time, or so it seemed to Humbert, she said nothing; only staring at him in a way he couldn't quite read.
He hung his head until his black shoes were in sight; his ears dropping low from shame. 'Maybe my first line of thought would have been less embarrassing.' "My apologies, Miss Haru. I shouldn't have asked such a thing." The only thing left to do now was retreat from her presence and hope she'll forget about it by tomorrow. He turned to leave.
"Just wait a sec, Baron," she almost laughed, gripping his shoulder before he could escape.
He looked up over the same shoulder hopefully.
"I'm sorry, guys don't usually ask that question," she explained sheepishly, turning a bit so that her back was presented to him, as well as most of her hair. "If you'd like to, I don't mind."
"You are certain?" he asked with surprise as she released his shoulder.
"Since when do I say things I don't mean?" she giggled at him. "It's okay for a few minutes. Any longer, and Muta will start hunting for me if Yuki doesn't."
He nodded, not wanting to risk her step-father's wrath, even if he was much kinder than he had first appeared. He raised his hand to the long strands, but then hesitated.
"What's wrong?" Haru asked, turning a bit to look at him.
"…I can't feel through my gloves," he explained, feeling silly for saying it.
"Then take them off, you goof," she giggled, which only made him feel sillier than before.
But he took both of them off, and started running his naked fingers through her hair.
It was softer than he thought it would be, and yet surprisingly light; almost like dandelion fluff. It was such a pleasant sensation, that he found himself drawing out the experience longer than he needed to. He didn't dare smell it again, since he didn't want her to think that he was any stranger than she already thought.
Even before he had found the courage to ask, Baron couldn't explain his fascination with her long locks. Was it because he had never seen it on a cat before? Although it was certainly unnatural for one to have both short and long hair, he couldn't help but think that the peculiarity suited her well.
She was brimming with peculiarities.
"Chicky?" a familiar voice called out from the hallway.
They both looked up with alarm, just before looking at each other.
"I better get going," she said a bit sheepishly as she stood up.
"It is rather late," Baron agreed, trying not to sound reluctant about it as he put his gloves back on.
Haru gave him another smile, and kissed his cheek one more time before smoothly walking to the curtain.
Her princess training had finally become instinct.
"Sweet dreams, Baron."
"S-Sweet dreams, Haru," he stuttered, feeling like more of an idiot than ever before.
As soon as she disappeared from the cavern-like room, he resisted the impulse to bang his head against the ladder he had been on earlier. "Why in the Cat Kingdom have I taken to acting like a fool when she's around?" he groaned out loud.
Even if she found that side of him hilarious, he wanted her to think of him as steady and serious. At least she already knew about his skill with numbers and thought him a genius with his blends.
He needed to take his mind off her, and quick. This was a forbidden trail his mind was trying to take. He opened up a random book, and read the first sentence that his eyes fell on.
There is no difference between the wise and the foolish when they fall in love.
"Who asked you?" he snarled, shoving the book back onto the shelf to storm up to his room.
ooOoo
"So, he's never actually made tea, per se, and you still trust the guy enough to be his guinea pig?" Muta was saying the next morning, looking nothing short of perplexed.
"Of course. Admittedly, I've gotten more cautious about testing, but you'd be shocked at what he can come up with. One time, he even made Windex."
"Which one was Windex, Haru?" Baron couldn't help but ask as he made more notes in his tea journal.
"The window cleaner about a month ago."
"Ah, yes. That one has become rather useful," Baron agreed, taking the current batch off one of the stoves to pour a cup and add a squirt of lemon. "The maids are starting to refuse cleaning glass with anything else."
"Windex? From boiled grass?" Muta asked incredulously.
"I told you; Baron's a genius," Haru answered, giving the tawny kitten a wide grin.
He smiled back without thinking about it, and offered her the cup. "Hopefully this will taste better than window cleaner did."
Haru shrugged while bringing it to her lips. "Only one way to find out." She sniffed at the liquid carefully, and took a small sip. Her eyes widened with astonishment, but at least she didn't spit it into the cup again. "Muta, drink this," she ordered, offering the cup to him.
"What? But I hate boiled grass," he complained like an overgrown kitten.
"Drink it, Muta. You can thank Baron for inventing this later."
Not even the large feline could stand up against her bullying methods. While grumbling underneath his breath, he grabbed the cup and drank it all in one gulp. But it made him start gagging terribly.
"Oh, stop being such a baby," she scolded while taking back the cup. "In an hour, you're going to feel better than you have since before I was born. Would you mind writing down a second copy of that recipe for me, Baron? I bet I could talk the cooks at the palace into making it every morning for Muta."
"Is it another form of cough syrup?" he asked as he immediately did as she requested.
"It's a temporary cure-all for all aches and pains, good for a day's worth. You could relieve a lot of suffering if you consider selling bottles of this stuff, Baron."
He felt a warm glow from the praise. "I'll think about it. Muta, you have an appointment with the tailors in half an hour. Please don't intimidate them too much."
"Yeah, save it for Natoru," Haru pretended to whisper to him, which resulted in identically evil grins from the two of them.
"Haru, the king could discharge the bodyguard services if he starts intimidating the advisors," Baron tried to warn them, knowing that Muta wouldn't hold back if given the chance.
"But you said he can only do it if he starts being an idiot again," Haru pointed out.
"That is correct, and not before."
She gave him a sly smile. "Meaning…?"
Baron thought about it, realizing that the event was inevitable. He could do nothing but sigh in defeat. "Just don't go overboard, Muta. Although I am able to offer you another job around the estate, I am more than certain you would prefer staying near Haru."
"Dang right I do," he affirmed, giving her a gruffly affectionate smile. He wrapped her up in one arm to drag her close. "Even if I won't be able to do things like this after leaving here."
"Hey, it's better than nothing, right?" she asked with a smile, giving him a big hug in return.
Baron had to sharply reign in his jealousy, that he was no longer the only one she openly embraced.
After all, she would soon have no one other than Lune to do that to, and he knew she didn't touch the prince unless she had no choice.
ooOoo
Snow began falling a mere week after Baron retrieved Muta. Although the snow had come later this year than most, the little kitten couldn't help but feel that it had come too soon, as the servants loaded the remaining luggage into the new carriage Baron had ordered.
A new one had been necessary, to accommodate for Muta's size.
"You will come to the wedding, won't you?" Lune asked almost formally, as he clasped the stunted cat's shoulder for a goodbye.
"I wouldn't miss it for the world. Expect me to arrive two days beforehand, for the engagement ball," Baron informed him, although he was keeping his eyes on Haru, who had finally changed out her favorite blue coat for a more winter-friendly cloak.
"Don't be late," she urged him, giving him one last warm hug. "It won't be the same without you."
"Wouldn't dream of it," he assured her, wishing that he could say more. What, he didn't know, but he knew he wanted to tell her something, even if all it would do is delay her departure.
Lune gave her a slightly disgruntled look, but remained silent as he gave Baron a final nod and guided Haru to the waiting carriage, where Muta was helping Yuki in before climbing in himself.
'Funny. I wouldn't have thought that he had gentle manners,' Baron thought randomly as Lune paused in front of the carriage, waiting for Haru to let herself in as she had let herself out when they first arrived.
She looked at him with a gentle expression, almost bordering on affection. "Aren't you going to help me, your highness?"
'I would have to say that completes the success of her training,' the kitten thought as he fought back a flare of terrible jealousy.
The prince blinked twice in surprise, but soundlessly offered her his arm after a minute. She placed one hand on it, and eased herself elegantly into the carriage.
Lune gave Baron a look of complete amazement, but eased himself in after her. Then the driver clicked his tongue at the hares and shook the reins, which urged them and the surrounding soldiers back down the road, and the long journey to the palace.
Baron watched them leave, feeling colder and emptier with each step they took, even until after they had disappeared from view.
Finally, he forced himself to look away from that lonely road, and enter his home alone. Although there was nothing to outwardly remind him of Haru's visit, he couldn't help but think that the walls have never been taller, or colder. It was almost all he could do, just to place one foot in front of the other as he moved down the main hall, and sitting down at the foot of the tall staircase.
Just like he had with Haru, a mere month before. He gave a big sigh, already missing her worse than being back on his family's orchard.
'I have done my duty. Despite her initial opinion, she is now the equal of any lady at court, and better. She will make a fine princess, and a wonderful queen.'
Again, there was that invisible punch to the gut. Oh, if only there had been a chance for… for her to have been able to choose her mate. Even if she ended up choosing another, at least he could have had more time with her.
He was so lost in his thoughts, that he didn't realize that Richard had sat down next to him until the old steward spoke up.
"The castle somehow feels empty, without Lady Haru," he noted hesitantly.
"Very," was all Baron was able to say.
"… She asked me to tell you something for her."
Baron immediately looked up at him, feeling strangely hopeful.
"Lady Haru was disappointed to learn that she would not be able to stay for your birthday. She gave me a parcel that she wanted me to give you on that day, and to deliver her good wishes on her behalf. She would have told you herself, but she was afraid that you wouldn't accept it."
"She did? Where is it?" Baron asked excitedly. He wouldn't turn down a gift from her for anything.
"Now now, my lord," Richard laughed. "Your birthday isn't for another month, remember?"
"Please, Richard? Just this once?" he begged, not caring if he sounded like a little kitten.
The old white cat merely laughed, and swept the little lord into his arms so that he could start walking up the stairs. "I had a feeling you wouldn't want to wait, and I can't say no when you plead like that."
"I could walk," Baron protested.
"This way would ensure that you open her gift a little sooner," Richard teased good-naturedly, almost at the top of the steps already.
Baron bit back a small laugh, although there was a bit of melancholy in the gesture. "Touché."
"You know, that word has a nice ring to it," Richard noted as he nearly jogged down another hallway, and began tackling the stairs leading up to Baron's tower.
"It does, doesn't it?" Baron sighed, still thinking about how much he missed Haru. He didn't know how he was going to handle the odd two months of separation until the wedding.
Or the wedding itself.
"You hid her gift in my room?" Baron couldn't help but ask as Richard finally entered the circular chambers, to where Toto was dozing by the fireplace.
He started at the sound of the door, and gave a sad smirk to the lord. "My, that didn't take long. Are you ready, Baron?"
"Completely," the kitten assured, although he wasn't sure why his oldest friend had asked it like that.
Toto smirked at him as Richard set him down, and lifted one wing to reveal a rather small parcel, wrapped in plain muslin and tied shut with a deep blue thread.
Baron was unable to take his eyes off it as he crossed the room and picked up the present.
What could she have given him? Whatever it was, it was very light.
He carefully untied the thread, and set the muslin on a nearby footstool in order to unwrap it. A sharp intake of breath was heard as he shamelessly stared at her humble gift.
With shaking hands, he lifted the first of many handkerchiefs from the neatly folded pile, shaking it a little in order to appreciate the tiny embroidered teacups on the edges.
Even at a glance, he could tell that no two were alike, just like his blends.
"Yuki says she's been working on these late at night since a little bit before All Hallows' Eve," Toto informed him softly. "She made me promise not to tell you and spoil the surprise."
Baron still couldn't speak, unfolding yet another one to look at all the teacups. She had done a masterful job; just enough detail to make each one unique without turning the edges stiff from all the extra thread.
"I knew she would be exceptional at embroidery," he whispered, holding the handkerchiefs to his heart to savor the love that she had poured into the handwork.
"My lord, we need to have a talk," Richard said in a very gentle tone.
Baron looked over at him steadily, dead certain of what was on the steward's mind.
"Are you in love with Lady Haru?" he asked point blank.
He looked down at the handkerchiefs she had made, just for him. Without bidding, his mind conjured the image of her tucked away in her room, her needle flashing from the light of the fireplace as she soundlessly worked, and her tongue tucked against the side of her upper lip just so.
"Baron? Do you love Haru?" Toto pressed after a minute or more had passed.
"… Does it matter?" he asked sadly, still holding the tokens to his heart.
"Please, Humbert. Just answer the question," Richard pressured.
Baron sighed in exasperation, knowing that they would not leave him alone until getting a true answer.
It was tempting to say no and spare himself the humiliation. But even if he could force himself to say it, they would know it to be a lie. "I do. I love Haru with all my heart and soul. Not that it will ever amount to anything."
"I don't know, my lord. It just might."
Baron growled, shaking his head. "Please don't tease me. I know it's hopeless, even if I had found a cure."
"Perhaps not, my lord. Think back to when you met Vulcan's grandfather," Richard begged, forcing the stunted cat to sit into his favorite high back chair. "Did he mention that there was a mate in your future?"
Baron gave a soft glare to the crow, unable to make it any harsher. "Toto has probably assured you by now that a girl has been mentioned, as well as children."
"I didn't. It's your future to speak of," Toto informed him smugly.
"Children? As in, more than one?" Richard asked in astonishment.
"I am not sure how many, since Vulcan's grandfather didn't specify, but from his word choice, I have long assumed that it is an impressive number. Not that I am interested in thinking about it right now-"
"We'll get back to the children later. Baron, were you given any clues about who your mate would be?" Richard pressed.
"What does it matter?"
"Everything. Please, my lord; what clues were given?"
Baron sighed, unable to look his steward in the eye. "He said that she wouldn't be who I thought she would, and that she would be my exact opposite as well as my perfect match."
Richard was silent for a minute. But then he started chuckling softly.
"What is so funny?" Baron sulked like a child.
Richard only answered him with a smirk as Toto did the same, restraining some laughs of his own.
In an instant, Baron realized exactly what they were thinking. "Are the two of you insane?" he yelled at the top of his lungs, standing up from his chair in a rage.
Although most people did that to add that to their height, he didn't allow himself to think about the fact that it actually made him smaller, since he usually had to crawl onto the chair when no help was available.
"It seems rather cut and dried, wouldn't you say, Toto?" Richard asked his companion slyly.
"Rather seems that way to me," Toto smirked. "Of course, I've known that she's the one for a while."
"I can't have a future with Haru!" Baron reminded them. "It is her destiny to be Lune's bride, not mine!"
"No it isn't," Toto said in a sing song tone.
"Yes it is!"
"No it isn't."
"Yes it-"
"Humbert!" Richard snapped, making them leave off the bickering. "You know the Sea Maiden's Song like the back of your hand, don't you?"
"Of course. It has been my favorite song ever since I can remember."
"Then would you mind reciting the last two lines? Just to prove a point?"
Baron sighed, but did it anyway. "As she had borne the heir from the cold sea, she will bear the greatest king, ever been. It's that very line that sealed her fate, so I don't know why you're bringing it up."
"Think, Baron! How is it one can become king?" Richard demanded.
"To be born to it, of course."
"What other option is there?" Toto pressed.
"None. Unless one is born in the Human Kingdom, then there are innumerable ways to gain a crown, but that won't help us any in the Cat Kingdom."
"Baron," Toto groaned in exasperation. "There is another way to become a monarch in this kingdom."
"Oh? Please, do share," the kitten invited sarcastically.
Richard also groaned. "Let's say that instead of having Lune, the king had a daughter instead, and no other children. Are queens permitted to rule?"
Baron thought about that. "According to the ancient laws, never."
"Which would mean that if the princess married someone that wasn't of noble blood…" Toto hinted, a trace of irritation still present in his tone.
Baron thought about it, a fresh wave of shock washing over him. "Then that cat would be king, no contest."
Richard sighed. "My, that took long enough for you to figure out."
"No kidding; I thought we were going to have to hit him over the head with it," Toto agreed as Baron started pacing the room madly.
"The same rules apply to Lune! If he were to marry Yuki despite his father's protests and have a daughter, it would leave Haru free to marry anyone she chose, as long as she had a son! How could I have been so blind?" he lamented, wishing that they had brought this up before she left.
"Don't ask us, we've been wondering almost since she got here," Toto informed him sarcastically. "I mean, it's been obvious for some time now that you can't get more oppositely matched than a girl like Haru."
Baron nodded as his mind immediately started listing all the reasons why she was the one.
He understood the sky and land, she knew the sea's ways like the back of her hand.
He was an early riser, she loved staying up late.
He was formal, she was casual.
He was a mathematician, she was imaginative.
He was weak, she was an impressive athlete.
They both played instruments.
They were both raised by people they weren't related to. They had both been lonely for most of their lives, despite whoever was near.
They were both loved by the common people for treating them as dear friends instead of chattel. Neither of them had ever seen the point of treating them otherwise.
He had cared for Yuki first. But compared to what he now felt for Haru, he understood that his feelings for Yuki were barely more than infatuation, a mere symbol of everything that he had long felt would be denied him.
What should still be denied to him.
"… It still couldn't work. I am a runt."
Richard gave him a stern look, and patted the handkerchiefs that the little lord was still holding to his heart. "You yourself said that Vulcan informed the king that she won't be able to fulfill her destiny without your help. I am solidly convinced that he meant the two of you were meant to be more than teacher and student. Even after she tried, she never gained feelings for Prince Lune, and he never gained feelings for her. I suppose it comes down to one question, my lord; how badly do you want to be with Lady Haru?"
"… Very much. More than anything," he affirmed.
"Then start studying again. After all, there's only two months left before she weds the prince."
Baron looked down at his feet, fully realizing the terrible mess he had helped create. The promise of a future mate had been what kept him from losing hope for all these years. The mere knowledge that there was a girl out there for him was a comfort, an assurance that he would someday be cured. Not just cured, but happily married with a loving lady.
Who was going to marry his undeserving best friend, who in turn was in love with her best friend.
"What have I done?" he nearly wept in horror.
"If you don't find the cure soon, it will be the biggest mistake of your life," Toto told him seriously. "I mean, will you really be able to watch her take vows with Lune?"
"… I can't. Because I won't," Baron affirmed firmly as he increased his hold on her handkerchiefs. He wasn't sure where the burst of confidence was coming from, but he was certain of two things.
He had a future with Haru, and he was going to fight for it.