Untold Truths

by Doodle19

Emily has been keeping a secret, several actually. And they're all starting to come out. Wall by wall, the protective shield Emily created for herself comes crumbling down. Secrets have a way of affecting everyone, and this one was no different.

25. Breakthroughs

I do not own Criminal Minds, only the characters I have created in that world.

I'm not dead! I'm back and I'm doing better.

Chapter 25: Breakthroughs

That day in the bullpen, JJ was a little more than confused. Hotch was acting funny. Funny didn't even seem like the right word for it. Blinds closed; that happened every now and again. Headaches or long nights sometimes called for a little peace and darkness, but this was different. He was strange and evasive and, even on the worst of days, he wasn't normally like that.

Striding away from his office, she was sure to look back for any sign of distress, but saw none. Moving deeper into the bullpen, still staring up to the office, JJ walked right into Reid. "Sorry." She said.

"It's fine JJ. Do you know if Hotch is in his office? I want to see if he wants me to come with him to the custodial."

"He's in his office, but he said he'll be in a closed door meeting all day."

"What about the interview?"

"He wanted Rossi to take his place and bring you or Morgan with him. The rest of us, he said, could take whatever files we are working on home."

"That's odd." He joined JJ in the staring, standing shoulder to shoulder facing the boss's office as Reid tried to calculate the exact number of times that happened.

"I know."

"Do you think he's ok?"

"Don't know."

"Should we check on him?"

"Check on who Pretty Boy?" Morgan asked as he walked up to them.

"Hotch."

"Why would we be checking on Hotch? He's a big boy." Reid just pointed to the room and continued adding some numerical data about the number of times he ever saw the room quite so closed off. Needless to say, the percentage was negligible. "What's up with him? He sick?" JJ just repeated what she told Reid. "Who's he meeting with? Did you see?"

"See what sweet cheeks?" Garcia joined them, standing in front of the wall their bodies formed. "What's going on?" It was like a continuous repetitive cycle with one person added each time. They pointed to Hotch's office and waited for her to ask what they knew she'd ask and they answered.

"Do you want me to do my thing and pull up the security cams? I don't usually because, well I'm afraid I'll catch Rossi or Hotch, or worse," she shivered, "Strauss in some kind of awkward position and I'll be scarred for life, but I can pull them up and see who's in there."

"In where?" Ah, Rossi; the last to join the human wall, then made up of four avid gazers.

"Oh, you have to know! Who's in the hush-hush meeting with Boss Man? Is it Obama? Does he have some sort of covert mission that he wants Hotch to oversee? Huh?" She gasped. "Oh, is it the prince? Is he on the phone with the prince? I tried to get his number that one time. Do you think he'd get it for me?"

"I don't think you'll get your wish kitten. I have no idea who else is in there. I didn't hear about any meeting. I thought he had to head up to Red Onion to talk with the Baylor Butcher."

"Oh yeah," JJ was reminded, "he wants you to do that. He said to take Morgan or Reid with you. You should probably head out soon."

"What do you thinks going on in there?"

"Should I do my thing? No one ever answered me?"

"I don't think they replaced the cameras up there since that incident. We won't be able to see anything. We might be able to see someone go up there, but they could've left the other way and we'd never know."

"Oh." She was slightly defeated. "I tried to block that out. You know, think of baby pandas instead of crazies hacking into our system and breaking our cameras. I'm an impenetrable force. I don't like to think about it."

"Look." Reid pulled their gaze. "Someone's peeking through the blinds."

"I can't see them. Can you see them?"

"I'm taking this to mean he's not in trouble. He's not being held hostage in there?"

"You talked to him right?" JJ nodded. "Did he use the distress word?"

"No."

"Then he should be fine. Maybe he's stuck in there with Strauss. That's enough to make him go a little crazy. I know I'd be strange too if I had to send an unspecified amount of time in a room with her talking about budgets and other work crap."

"Ugh…" They all groaned. Strauss was a nightmare anytime, but spending hours alone with her in a confined space made it seem so much worse. "I think I'm going to get my paperwork and head out."

Jubilantly, Garcia added, "I'll join you Jayje. Maybe we can grab some coffee." Nodding, the blondes left the bullpen and the mystery of Hotch behind.

"Rossi? Who you taking? Me or Pretty Boy here?"

"Come on Reid, let's head out. Something tells me you're looking forward to this." He teased. "See you tomorrow Morgan."

They all headed out of the office. Reid and Rossi made the long drive up to the prison and Morgan went to the gym while JJ and Garcia headed out for some coffee before JJ left to pick up Henry from school. It wasn't too often she was done with work in time to do that, so she was excited and she knew Henry would be too. All that aside though, they were still curious about Hotch and what was going on there, but they were determined to figure it out sooner or later. Until then, Hotch and Emily would be left to deal with their issues in private.

And since their much needed, emotional, very real conversation in his office, things between Hotch and Emily were… they were different, but they were also more of the same. They were both true to their word. They made the effort. But things weren't perfect. It was so far from perfect.

A week had passed fairly quickly. Emily was alternating between figuring out her own situation both health and work, and being there for Charlie. She continued to meet with Dr. Lozano twice a week as agreed upon. She was struggling to keep it all together, but she was pushing through the self doubt and talking things out with the therapist. Medically, the doctor saw nothing wrong with her head. The headaches were, most likely, just residual effects from the swelling and stress. She was told to rest another week, which she was doing anyway with Charlie home sick, and take the prescribed medicine if needed; nothing to worry about. However, the doctor insisted for a follow up appointment in three months just to be safe and explained symptoms of distress to look out for.

She was really working through those problems, or doing her best to try. And Charlie was doing well. At first she was sluggish and not really her euphoric self, but she slowly got her groove back. She liked the amount of ice cream and attention she was getting; not that she was really lacking with the latter. It just made her feel special. JJ and Henry or Will and Henry came over sometimes after school to bring her work and play for a little while. Jack was with his mom, but he came over with Aaron when she first came home from the hospital. They were all called away on a case midweek. But they all still made the effort. And Clyde was still there too. Charlie really liked that; just like she liked Rossi's grandfatherly appeal and the newfound abundance of pseudo aunts and uncles. Her life seemed to be filled with more and more people every day.

While away on the case, Aaron called Emily to check on Charlie. He couldn't physically be there, not all the time and not at all when he was away, but he had to at least call. It was a lifeline that Emily offered and he needed it. He never actually talked to Charlie when he called, except for that one time she answered and told him all about her day, but he made Emily promise to tell her he was thinking of her or something along those lines. And she did that in attempt to appease him and slowly ease their daughter into his, hopefully one day large and important, increasing presence in her life. But, even so, their conversations were sterile. Mostly they consisted of more of the same; always different versions of the same conversation like the first one they had while he was away on a case.

"Hello." She answered the phone.

"Hi. How are you?"

"Fine. You?"

"Good."

"Great. How's the case?"

"It's going well. We're finishing up the profile now."

"Good, that's good." And that was it for their own conversation. The safest of questions were asked and answered and then they moved on to Charlie. Luckily, the question came at a good time and his timing was perfect. He called just as they were returning from the first follow up appointment.

"She… She's great. Doctor says she's healing nicely. No fever, no infection, and the stitches get to come out after school on Monday. He even said that since she's moving around more that she could start doing half days at school tomorrow and Friday before going back fulltime on Monday."

"Is she ready for that?" He asked.

"I think she is. I don't know if I am or if it's the right choice though. What do you think?" She was making an effort to include him. It wasn't a big choice. Charlie was doing well and would be going back to school either way, but including him mattered. It mattered even more since she wanted their arrangement or agreement or whatever it was to work. They both did; Charlie too.

"Maybe just Friday. That way she gets used to being in school again, but she only has one day before the weekend and it won't be too much."

"Sounds like a good idea."

"I… uh… I have to go. They're waiting for me."

"Do you want to speak to her before you go back to work?"

"I can't. I'll try to call back later, but things are crazy here."

"Ok. Bye Hotch."

"Bye Emily."

The other times he called were the same thing. That Friday he asked about her first day back at school and how she handled it. He even said goodnight to Charlie when she answered the phone. It was late and they were just about to board the plane home. So there was progress, but it didn't feel like enough. The truth was they anticipated more progress. It seemed like they were moving forward, and they were. But for every step in the right direction with Charlie, their own unresolved issues, things in their relationship, took two steps back and it got in the way of everything else. But their plates were full enough without thinking too much about certain aspects of it. They were trying to make it work and that was what mattered. In the end, the kids were what mattered.

Hotch's help in the decision making made them both feel better and having her go into school a little before the first full day made the transition easier. It helped her regain the normalcy; made her feel like she was normal again. That was all anyone really wanted. And after the case was over, he made plans to see for himself how the first day went. He knew with the way things were going with Emily, the whole avoidance thing, things would be a little uncomfortable, but it would be worth it.

Showing up at the house early Saturday afternoon was different. It felt different. For the first time, it felt like he was going there as a father instead of a complete visitor. Yes, he went with Jack and he went there before, but there was just something that was changing. He didn't know why or even if it made sense, but there was something so dissimilar that he didn't know how to feel. He was nervous. He was anxious and a little petrified; scared of a little time with a little girl and her mother… and Clyde, but that was a person, a whole subject, he wanted to avoid all together.

Knocking made it real. Being invited in and greeted by an up and about Charlie made it real; more real because it was always real. He thought it felt real before, but there was something both liberating and constricting about his talk with Emily. "Hi Aaron."

"Hi Charlie. Is your mom home?"

"She's upstairs with Clyde, but she said I could open the door because she saw you coming. She said I could so I won't get in trouble."

"Can I come in?" He asked.

"Do you want me to get you a drink? Mommy made coffee. We have milk! I can pour it all myself." She was a little hostess in the making.

"That's ok Charlie. I just wanted to come see you."

"Me?"

"Yeah, you. I wanted to hear all about your first day at school."

"I was only there for a little while." She explained as she led him through the house. "But I had lots of fun with Henry and my friends. I have lots of friends."

"You do? A lot?" He loved the ease in which the conversation flowed. It felt easier than before; more natural.

"So many! But Henry's my favorite. And Jack too. He's fun but he's not in my class so I don't see him so much. "

"Do you want to see him more?" He asked hesitantly. A part of him, like Emily was too, was walking on egg shells. He didn't want to ruin the steps they had made because he said the wrong thing or did something he shouldn't have.

With confused eyes, so full of life and curiosity, she asked, "How?"

"Maybe we can all play together?"

"Who?"

"Me, you, Jack…"

"And mommy?"

"Mommy too."

"Cool."

"Yeah. Tell me what you did today."

Emily watched from afar as they interacted. Leaning against the doorframe, Emily listened as Charlie told him all about school from Emily waking her up and driving her to handing in her homework and helping clean the boards during recess since she couldn't play too much outside. For such a short day she seemed to pack a lot in there, but he was happy to hear about it all. "Will you play with me?" She asked as she finished talking. "Mommy said she'd play but she's taking too long."

"What were you going to play?"

"Tea party. Clyde made real English tea for me. Will you play?"

He wanted to say no. He didn't know how to play tea party even if he wanted to, but it was the first time she actually wanted him to just play. There were no buffers; no Emily or Jack to act as intermediaries, no Emily lying in a hospital bed beside them, and that scared him. But it also liberated him. As uncomfortable and lost as he was playing girl games and as inadequate as he felt, he wanted and was willing to make a fool of himself for her. "I… uh…I guess I could give it a try." Though, he wished Emily would figure out whatever it was she was doing and save him.

"Well, come on! We have to go into the kitchen. You're too big for the special table."

"I'm too big?"

"It's only for kids silly."

"Then I guess I shouldn't sit there." She shook her head and told him to follow her. Emily watched it all in amusement. People would pay money to see a grown man, an alpha male like Hotch, play tea party. If Charlie had her way it'd be dress up too. That would come with a hefty price tag. If that ever happened, Emily made mental note to record that if for no other reason than posterity's sake. That, and Garcia and JJ would love to see it too.

Emily was about to head in there and join them when a hand stopped her. She turned. "Hi Clyde. Join me?"

"He's good with her."

"They have their moments."

"No Jack this time?"

"He's with his mother this weekend." She responded quietly. She didn't want to disturb the peace of father-daughter bonding time.

"Too bad."

"Yeah."

"So it's just him then?"

"Yes. I don't know how long he'll be here or what exactly I'm hoping for."

"Just give it a chance."

"I am."

"Go be with them. I have some wandering to do."

"Where are you going?"

"Don't worry about me love." He moved in closer to whisper in her ear. "Enjoy family time."

It wasn't family time. Was it? In a way, they were trying to create this makeshift family. They were trying to introduce him into the role of father. But that didn't make them; the three of them, a family, only an extension. They would always be Emily and Charlie and Aaron and Charlie, and that created the extension, but she couldn't see them being Emily, Aaron, and Charlie. They both forbid themselves from seeing that and, with their last encounter making it apparent that their history was a series of flukes, there couldn't really be a clear vision of that anyway. It didn't make it impossible, just harder.

"Sorry I took so long." Emily interrupted their play.

"Mommy! You took forever. Are you going to play too?"

She didn't need his permission and she didn't need to give him the choice, but she did. She looked to him, silently asking if that was ok. "Please, join us. Charlie was just teaching me the proper etiquette for high tea."

"Ah, Clyde brought her a book about it."

"The girl in the story even has my name. It's called Charlotte goes to Tea! Isn't that so awesome?"

"It's pretty awesome. I bet that made you happy. I know how much you love books."

"Mommy read me my very special book." He guiltily looked to Emily. Hearing the way she said that; all covertly and sly and knowing exactly which book she was talking about, it made him feel disgusting. He was disgusting because he asked her to lie, partially lie, for him. Giving her a sentimental gift, however pricey, was his prerogative. She was his daughter and that was his choice, but asking her to keep secrets, that made him so terrible. And Charlie, being as smart as she was, picked up on what she did. She basically told the secret. "I'm sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry Charlie." Emily said, sure to give Hotch a look that said, "Seriously?"

He looked apologetic but it wasn't enough. "Your mom's right Charlie. You don't have to be sorry. It's not a secret anymore. I shouldn't have asked you to keep that or anything from mommy. So I'm sorry. Can you forgive me?" He was asking Charlie, but he was looking at Emily.

"Ok. If you're sorry, then it's ok." Sweet little Charlie…

"Thank you." Charlie said that he was welcome by giving him a quick hug and moving over to her mother.

"Why do you look so mad?"

"I'm not mad."

"Yes you are. I don't want you to be mad. I'm sorry."

"I'm not mad Charlie. I promise I'm not. I was just a little upset that you thought you had to lie to me."

"But I never lied. I got it from a friend. I said I got it from a friend and I did."

"You're too smart sometimes."

"Would you be less sad if Aaron said he was sorry too? I know he's sorry."

"I'm ok Charlie. Let's just play. Ok?" She nodded and poured her mother a cup.

They spent the next two hours playing tea party. Despite the hints of animosity and anger that they did their very best to mask from Charlie, they had a good time. They even had a few good laughs and memories. When Charlie forced a top hat and bib like cloth with a tuxedo design onto Hotch, Emily saw it as a prime time to immortalize the moment. She and Charlie had on tiaras to match and together, they took a picture to hold on to the simple happiness amongst the complicated mess of their lives.

"Thank you for playing with me Aaron."

"I had fun Charlie."

"Me too. Mommy, I'm hungry."

"Ok, go wash up, I'll make dinner."

"Where's Clyde?"

"He'll be back soon."

"Ok. I'll be right back." She looked to Hotch. "Don't go yet. Ok?"

"Ok."

Charlie left Hotch with a smile on his face that was probably bigger than it should have been. "You look happy."

"And you don't." He realized.

"I'm fine Hotch."

"You're not."

"You asked her to lie to me?" There was an air of disbelief. She had to know it, but having it confirmed, seeing her daughter feel guilty, it was worse.

"I did a lot of things I'm not proud of."

"Yeah, well there were a lot of things you shouldn't have been proud of."

"I know."

"What are you doing here?"

"We talked about this."

"No… I mean yes, we talked about this." She said quietly making sure Charlie was still gone. "But I'm asking why. Why are we doing this? Why are you here playing tea party?"

"Where else would I be?"

"At work, with Jack, at a bar for all I know."

"No. Here. I'm here like I said I'd be. And there's nowhere else I'd rather be."

"For how long?"

"What?"

"How long is that going to be true?" He couldn't pinpoint where the day went wrong or where the animosity was coming from. What he did was wrong, but it wasn't the worst thing he ever did. And, yes, that made him seem like a horrible person, but he wasn't. He was trying and he couldn't figure out where the attitude came from.

"For ever Emily. For as long as you allow it to be true."

"We'll see." She thought. "I'm sorry. I don't want to argue with you. Charlie will be back in a minute. Are you going to stay for dinner?"

"Only if you want me to." He was trying to be respectful, but, for some reason, it felt a little condescending to her.

"It's about what you want. I'm asking if this is what you want." She still had her doubts and, somehow, that was what it always came back to.

"Then yes," he responded calmly, "I'll stay."

"Fine." She said before politely excusing herself to go cook. Charlie came back a few minutes later and thirty minutes after that food was served. Emily was hoping Clyde would be back by then, but he wasn't, so she set a plate aside for him and joined them. It was… it was something alright. It was tension filled for no real reason, though they were very good at keeping Charlie from picking up on it. And unless Charlie initiated the talking, it was pretty quiet. Hotch and Emily spared each other a few random glances, but exchanged no direct words. The environment was hostile, but it shouldn't have been. He was trying not to overstep or push her, but him doing that did the opposite. And Emily couldn't control her emotions. She felt what she felt and she didn't know why she felt it. Maybe she was more upset than she should've been. Asking their daughter to lie was angering, but it wasn't enough to create that much strain. They both needed to work on that.

"Am I interrupting?" The English brogue startled the silence.

"Clyde!" Charlie yelled.

"Oh thank god." Emily mumbled, looking to him with a smile. She prayed he'd show up and make the situation a little less icy.

"Hello my love. Are you having fun with Aaron and mommy?"

"We played tea party Clyde, but you weren't here. Why weren't you here?"

"I picked up dessert. Chocolate ice cream and brownies."

"Mommy says no more ice cream."

"I think she'll allow it. Why don't we ask her?"

Emily was such a sucker for those doe eyes, all wide and innocent. "Mommy?"

"We can have ice cream in a little while."

"Do you want some ice cream Aaron?" Charlie asked.

"Yes, do you Aaron?" Clyde almost mocked. The two men had their differences and they would likely never get along, but he wanted his friend to work on things with him. He wanted them to see what he saw; to know what he knew. That didn't mean it was going to change him. Clyde picked up on the heavy atmosphere as soon as he stepped into the house. The only one who didn't notice was too young to understand it anyway.

"I'll think about it." was his answer.

"I didn't know how long you'd be so I put a plate aside for you in the oven."

"Thank you."

"Would you like to join us?" She asked hopefully.

"No, thank you."

"Where were you?" Emily was trying to keep him involved to keep from further forced conversation with Hotch. She didn't want to make the situation worse, which she assumed she would.

So, until Emily left the room to help Charlie make the ice cream, Emily talked to and through Clyde while giving Hotch space to interact with Charlie and the freedom to talk to her if he chose. It was complicated; all so, so complicated, and only because they made it that way.

But, when Emily left the room, it left Clyde and Aaron to talk. "What's going on with you and Emily?" He got straight to the point.

"What? Nothing's going on?"

"Is that a question?"

"No."

"Did you say something to her?"

"We talked."

"Something to upset her?"

"No." Yes, probably more than a few things.

"Good. And you went to the hospital when I rang you."

"I did."

"Are you having a good time with Charlotte?"

"We played tea party." He stated monotonously.

"Tea party can be enjoyable. She likes it."

"She made me wear a hat." Hotch responded, trying to keep the civility going.

Clyde leaned in closer to the other man, looked around to make sure the women weren't returning, and said, "Let's keep the chit chat to a minimum. Do we need to have another talk?"

"Excuse me?"

"Do we need to have another talk about you being there for Emily and Charlie?"

"No Clyde. And, frankly, I can't understand what any of this has to do with you."

"That's simple. Emily is one of my nearest and dearest friends. Her daughter, your daughter, is as much my family as she is yours. Time and again, I leave them in your capable hands only to come back to this. What's happening between you and Emily? Did you hurt her again?"

He wanted to be mad. Hotch wanted to be mad and yell or argue, but like every time before, Clyde was just looking out for them and making sure they were taken care of. He couldn't fault him for that. "I didn't hurt her Clyde."

"Then what is it? There's something. I trust you to be there for both of them; not just Charlie. That's your job. It's a job I loved and will always have, but it's your turn. Be the man Aaron. Fix things with her and do it before I see you again because I don't want to have this conversation one more time. Whatever you did, whatever she did, whatever happened between the two of you that you're not talking about… Just make things better so I can leave and do my work properly without distraction."

"You're not blaming appendicitis on me are you? Because that's ridiculous, even for you Clyde."

"I am blaming nothing on you. Simply, I'm saying, now that you know everything, it's your responsibility. And this," he made a hand gesture to the surroundings, "this tension isn't helping. You and Emily need to work on that."

"Tell that to her." He hissed.

"Oh, I have. Our Prentiss there is, well she's woman. What's your excuse?"

"Clyde, I don't…"

"Ask yourself why you're in this situation. What feelings got you here?" Hotch looked dumbfounded.

"Hey, ice cream's ready." Emily interrupted. She gave them a questioning look. They looked too serious. "Everything ok?" She asked them both.

"Fine." They answered at the same time. Definitely not a good sign.

"Ok, come on. Charlie's waiting."

Exchanging one last look, the men joined them in the kitchen for ice cream and a little Charlie goodness. After they all ate, Hotch explained that he had to head home. Charlie didn't want him to leave and wouldn't let him until he promised to bring Jack sometime. But once Hotch did, she let him go. Emily could sense there was something on Clyde's mind. And the weird goodbye made her think there was something on Aaron's as well, but she needed to let it go for the time being and get her sticky, chocolaty kid into a bath. For a pretty neat eater, she sure did make a mess.

For Charlie, it was a good day. But good day or not, she knew she had to say goodbye to Clyde and that did not make Charlie happy. It honestly didn't make Emily happy either because he was her friend, but it had to happen sooner or later. He was putting his life on hold for them and she couldn't ask that of him.

"Do you really have to leave?" Charlie asked as Clyde helped put her to bed.

"Yes love. I have to get back to London for work, but I'll miss you very much."

"That means you should stay because I'll miss you lots and mommy will miss you too. I don't like to miss people. I miss grandma and mommy when she has to work and you're leaving. I hate when people leave." Emily hated that her daughter knew the pain of people leaving, and, worse still, that she was partially responsible for that pain.

"I know. I hate it too. But I'll be just a ring away."

"Will you tell me a story Clyde? Mommy usually does it, but you can help. You and mommy can make up a story for me." A story was her go to pastime.

He looked to Emily, who shrugged, then back to the girl in the bed. "What kind of story?"

"How did you meet my mommy? Tell me that, but do it like mommy tells stories. You can be Sir Clyde and she can be Lady Emily."

"A fairy tale?"

"Yeah!" Once again he looked to Emily for a little guidance. Surely, their story was not one appropriate for a child, not fully.

"I'll start it ok? That way he knows how to tell the story." Emily stepped in.

"Ok."

"Once upon a time in the kingdom of York, a man and a woman found some new friends…" They didn't even make it halfway through the story before she conked out. That wasn't unexpected, but when Clyde went to move he found her hand clutching his shirt so tight he thought he'd have to sleep there sitting up. Eventually, though, he managed to release himself, tuck her in a little tighter, and make his leave. "She loves you." Emily whispered from the hall as he started for his room.

He nodded in response. He knew she loved him and he loved her. That girl, much like her mother, made it impossible not to love her. "She could love him too." He knew she didn't want to have that conversation, but that was precisely why he was forcing it. He was leaving. He'd be gone by morning and there were things that needed to be said.

"I know." She responded weakly. Charlie did love him, even like a father, she just didn't know it yet.

"Do you? Because, darling, you're putting up one hell of a fight."

"What does that mean?" Her voice hissed.

"You're both pushing each other away."

"No we are not." She insisted. It nearly caused him to laugh. They were stubborn. They were both stubborn and insolent and blind to what was right before them.

"Yes."

"No." With a slightly raised voice and the fear of waking Charlie up, Emily took his arm and dragged Clyde into the guest bedroom. "If you have something to say, just say it." And she knew he did. If he didn't, he wasn't him.

Taking a deep breath, knowing he was going to be stepping on toes, he sat down and looked to her. His face was serious, but warm. Confusing was what it was. "Emily…"

"Clyde…"

He motioned for her to join him on the bed. She did and she waited. Clyde was a very outspoken person. He didn't hold back. Comportment wasn't a priority a majority of the time, but she could see he was trying. That didn't make her feel any better. "I've been here a week."

"I know. I've been with you."

"I've seen you with him."

"Where are you going with this Clyde?"

"I've seen him with her. I've seen the both of you together with her. And I've heard the calls."

"Ok."

"You two barely said one word to each other that didn't mention Charlie."

"Well, he's here for Charlie."

He just shook his head. "You two seemed so close to each other at the hospital. What happened since?"

"Nothing happened Clyde. And we weren't close. We were concerned parents. That's all."

"Are you awkward with him because you slept with him again?"

"What?! Clyde, we didn't…" All he had to do was give her a stern look and her resolve crumbled. "Ok, we did, but we talked about it and we are not awkward."

"Yes, love, lying to yourself will get you far."

"I'm not lying to myself." She insisted, but his face made it clear he didn't believe her. "I'm not."

"Emily, dear, I do believe you are in denial. The two of you couldn't be better suited if sold in a package deal, but both so oblivious to what's right there. Both so intent on ignoring the obvious and too stubborn to admit to feeling it…"

"You lost me Clyde."

"I know I did." He said with a huff. She was just so frustrating. "I talked to him."

"And? What did you talk about?"

"Why did you sleep with him?" It was like they were having two different conversations that just happened to be occurring in tandem. And that wasn't a question she saw coming.

"You asked him that?" She was mortified.

"No." She was infuriating. "We talked about Charlie… and you."

"Wha… Why me?"

"You know why. What I don't comprehend is how neither of you can see it." Never mind admit it…

"See what?"

"Or maybe you do see it and just chose to ignore it."

"What are you talking about?"

"Why did you sleep with him?" He asked again.

"We are not discussing this." Though, they discussed such topics many times before.

"Come on Em. Why?" He knew she would answer. Not answering was like admitting there was something to admit and that wasn't a Prentiss thing to do.

"He was just there." She gave in. "He was there, I was just drunk enough, and I couldn't remember the last time I had sex; especially good sex." That was her reasoning and she was prepared to stick to it.

"Good sex, huh?" He quietly said with a smirk, but she didn't hear that. "It has nothing to do with feelings? You didn't sleep with him because you like him, possibly more?"

"Oh god no! There is no like there. Not the way you mean it. And there's nothing more. Nope. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Zero." The lady doth protest too much.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am very sure."

"Then ask yourself this. Of all the people there you could've chosen for your little rendezvous; strangers, acquaintances, friends, whomever… Why choose him? Why sleep with the one man that that would take an already complicated situation and add more baggage to the load when you could've needs met by any guy that was gawking at you that night? Ask yourself that."

"He was there and you weren't an option." She defended her choice.

"I'm always an option." He joked.

"You were watching my daughter after forcing him on me to 'talk.' If you ask me, this is all your fault. You pushed us together and that's where we ended up."

"You could blame me, but you'd still both be idiots. You really need to do some searching. Figure out why you ended that night in his bed and you'll solve a lot of problems. He needs to do the same because this clearly isn't working for anyone. And Charlie will eventually pick up on this as well."

"I think all the American tea has gone to your head. Did you run out of the English stuff?"

"I think you're starting to realize that I'm right. But, as I have an early flight to catch in the morning and I must be getting to bed, we don't have time to dwell on my victory." He shooed her away.

"Clyde…"

"Reflect a little. Listen to what I've said and you'll realize right like I always am. Goodnight love."

"Clyde." She said as he pushed her out the door. "Clyde this isn't…" He shut the door in her face. "…funny." Sighing, she left quietly and allowed his words to sink in. As the night progressed, it became harder and harder to shut her brain off. "Damn it Clyde!" She hissed into the darkness as his voice replayed in her head once again. She was going to kill him. He planted a seed that had no business being introduced into the terrain. He should've just let sleeping dogs lie. Yes, his intentions were good, but all he did was make her crazy. Feelings for Hotch… Ha! She didn't have feelings for Aaron. She didn't! Anger; maybe sometimes. Friendship: they were working on it again. So, she was wrong. She had feelings for him. How could she not? They just weren't the feelings Clyde was talking about. There was love shared for the child they had, but that was the only love shared. "Agh!" She screamed into her pillow. "I hate you Clyde."

She half expected to hear his retort. "You love me darling." He would've said. But there was nothing. Where she was concerned, there was nothing because there could be nothing. "No." She caught herself. "Nothing. There's nothing." She said aloud. "Nothing." It took a while, but she eventually fell asleep. Restless as it was, she was, at least, dream free. But she was woken way too early. Even going to bed hours before normal didn't help.

"Go away." She grumbled as a persistent hand shook her.

"But mommy, your alarm's about to go off. We have to take Clyde to the airplane." Emily just let out some incoherent babble "That's ok. You don't have to wake up. I don't want him to go anyway. I couldn't sleep anymore because I knew he was going and we had to get up super early, but I can sleep now. Can I stay in here? I stayed in my room like a big girl for a long time."

"Mmmm… Charlie it's only 2 O'clock."

"I know, but 2 comes before 3 and you said you had to wake up at 3:30 and I wanted to come with you."

"You can stay in here, but sleep. Ok?" Charlie nodded and slid under the covers.

Emily didn't get back to sleep. Instead, she stayed up holding Charlie for the hour and a half, shut off the alarm just before it went off, and got dressed. Clyde was already ready, insisting once again that he could simply take a cab, but Emily wasn't having that. As he put the bags in the trunk, she strapped Charlie into the safety seat and tried not to wake her until she had to. Emily may have promised she could come, but didn't mean she had to be awake for the trip. Sleep was important too. The goodbyes were hard; as they always were. Charlie spent a good five minutes pleading for him to stay. It was a process they were accustomed to, as terrible as that sounded. But it, somehow, felt worse that time. They did get her calm though and they said their goodbyes as Clyde had to hurry through security to make his flight.

"Ok Charlie." He stood her on a chair to make her taller. "I have to go now, but I need you to promise me something."

"What?"

"Promise you'll be a good girl for your mother and try not to scare us anymore. That means no more trips to the hospital."

"I promise." She said with a hug and smile.

"And you," he said to Emily taking her in for a hug, "you need to think about what I said."

"I will Clyde, just so I can say you were wrong."

"Bye darlings. Take care of each other. I'll see you soon."

"Call me when you get home." She made him promise. Then they waited and watched him disappear behind the gates before leaving themselves. Emily had a lot to not think about and Charlie was tired and upset. Yeah, goodbyes were hard. They just needed to get home.

The rest of March was a bit of a roller coaster. Charlie got her stitches out and was given a clean bill of health. Emily continued her regular therapy sessions. Hotch did his best to call when he could and made plans to stop by in between cases. It wasn't every day, but it was time with his daughter that they all wanted him to have. It was stable and reliable time that he promised to set aside for her. But it only lasted all of two weeks. It didn't take long for him to start cancelling.

He promised to take her and Jack to the movies, but something came up. Emily understood that. Life happened. There would be cancellations. But he promised that they'd do it the next day. And he canceled again. Then he was supposed to come over for dinner and he couldn't make it. Again, Emily understood, but she could see that he was letting Charlie down. She wouldn't complain and she wouldn't say she was upset by it, but she was. It was clearly pictured on her face. Still, Emily wished for the best. She tried not to read too much into it, but it was getting hard. They made plans everyday for a week and he cancelled each time. What was worse, though, was he didn't give a reason. She knew it wasn't work because no one else on the team was gone; she checked. And he never gave a reason; she needed a reason. She was tired of telling her daughter, "I'm sorry sweetie, you're not going today because Aaron had to work" when she knew that wasn't the truth. It was just the only excuse she could think of. And each day she had to see that sad face say, "That's ok mommy. We can play together like we always do. That's fun too" she was reminded why she was weary in the first place.

Everything wasn't what she hoped for and nothing that she wanted and they were only a few weeks into making it work. That didn't bode well for the future. At the same time, though, it made her stronger. It made her confidence as a single parent reemerge. For a moment, especially after really thinking about what Clyde said, she considered really letting him in; letting him share the burdens and responsibilities, but that was a moment of weakness. After the Charlie hospital scare, she was vulnerable and tired of doing all the heavy lifting by herself, but strong Emily was back. That much was proven at her last therapy session.

"Did I tell you I finally sold the condo?"

"Finally? It seemed like you were holding onto that thing for dear life." Maybe she was. "How many offers have you had on it?"

"A few."

"How many is a few?"

"Enough to know that I was holding onto it for reasons other than a better profit." She answered honestly, and as expected, they delved into those reasons. And then they moved to topics they talked about time and time again. Somehow they ended up in Doyle territory. But it was different. Something in Emily had changed.

"I know I separate myself from Lauren. But, to me, we are two different people. And I say I didn't love Ian, but the fact that I call him Ian says otherwise. Lauren loved him, and I was Lauren. So, by default, a part of me loved him too. Right?" She didn't wait for an answer. "It was a very small part of me, but I did love him. I do love the glimpse of a good man I saw from time to time and I love the way he was with me, but that doesn't negate the fact that he was a terrorist who later terrorized me. There's no reconciling that. He was a big part of my life, the biggest part, for years. It's ok that I loved him and it's ok for me to admit that."

"It is." She said with a smile. "It's ok to admit that. Feelings can't be helped and you did spend a lot of time with him. It would make sense to develop such strong feelings. But, that you know he was still a criminal and you still did your job speaks volumes."

"I think I've come to a realization Claire."

"You called me Claire."

"I did."

With a smirk of accomplishment, Claire said, "So you came to a realization. What was it?"

"We talked a lot about who I am; about who I've become since my time as Lauren and since I've joined the BAU. And I realized that I'm not sure who I am, but that doesn't matter. I'm happy with the person I've become; whoever that is. I am a good agent. I am a fairly generous humanitarian. I am a decent human being. And, most importantly, I am a damn good mother. I'm happy with that."

"As you should be." This time it was Emily who was smiling.

"I came back different, but it was a necessary different. I wasn't the same person and my life wasn't in the same place. I needed to change. I needed to grow. And that was what I did. I became better. I did better for myself and I did better for my daughter."

"You have." She agreed.

"He came back into my life and brought all the memories and pain back with him. I'm stuck with that. It will always haunt me. But it doesn't have to consume me. And I want to put the past into the past. I want to keep moving forward. What has happened will stay with me. And I want it to, but it shouldn't control me. I want to be able to forgive and accept so I can look to the future." They discussed that further. Claire was happy with the progress; happy to see one of her most guarded and stubborn agents finally accepting the sounding board she was offering. She honestly thought the day would come much, much later, but the authenticity was there. It was real.

"You know, I've come to a realization myself Emily."

"You have?"

"Yes. I believe it's time you got back to work."

"Really?" The words were music to her ears; no more empty days while Charlie was at school.

"I believe you're ready. You really have come a long way, but you're not finished. So, if you're comfortable and if you feel up for it, I will sign the papers that will release you for active duty; field work and all. The only condition I have is that you continue seeing me once every two weeks for the next two months and after every case. We'll see where you are after that." Dr. Lozano looked for her patient's reaction, but as Emily typically was, she was stoic. "Can you agree to that?"

"I can agree to that." She was eager to agree to that.

"Good, documents with my signature will be on Agent Hotchner and Strauss's desk by the end of the day."

She was back. She was willing. And she was able. Emily Prentiss was ready to be herself again… She was going back to work, Charlie was better, she was stronger, and she managed to convince herself that she and Hotch were friends. They had to be friends to be good parents. There was nothing more, nothing less. She was content with that and buried the rest in the bottom of one of her mind's vaults. Yup, all was good again.

As for Hotch, he wasn't quite so evolved. He didn't have the therapy to help him sort his problems; it was just him and his mind. And that made it difficult. He knew he was disappointing Charlie and letting Emily down every time he cancelled, but it didn't stop him. He had his reasons; some good, most not.

The truth was that he enjoyed the time he spent with them; Emily included. Since the hospital visit, he was there. He felt a part of their lives even if only a fraction of the way he should've been. And that bothered him, the fraction bothered him, but he was doing his best. It was simple. He would go over, sometimes with Jack, though mostly alone, and he'd play. Emily would ease him into it, suggest Charlie show him this or teach him that. It helped. When the cases were local or he had the time, he'd go over after he knew she was home from dance or whatever. The first week after Clyde left, he was there almost every day. The case load was light and he managed to make it there three of the five weekdays and the weekend too. Sometimes it was only an hour or two at a time, but it was what they needed.

But then it got harder. Not only was he busier, because that definitely made it hard, but there was some psychological warfare as well. Every time he went there, he had to deal with Clyde in his head. He couldn't escape the Brit and it was literally driving him mad. The man was in his head playing games with his thoughts, and it was ridiculous. Mentioning feelings and questioning him. What did he know? He wasn't even there half the time. How could he possibly know anything? He definitely didn't know anything about Hotch. How could he? But that didn't stop him from having an opinion and putting his two cents in where coins were not accepted.

In the end, that was his downfall. Each time he went over to the house, he saw Emily. And every time he saw Emily, he was forced to think about Clyde and feelings. He did enough of that when he was alone at night. He didn't need to do that there too. But, with every look her way and every smile she gave him, those feelings he didn't have fluttered around his body. No, he didn't feel anything, he couldn't, but Clyde made him believe he did. He was seriously considering flying to England just to kick the bastard's ass. He was doing nothing but causing trouble for him.

If they were clear headed and honest, they would've seen that Clyde was trying to help them. They would've seen that he was just trying to speed things along and get them over the hump. But their refusal to see and feel made that seem like an impossibility. To them, it was. And no good deed goes unpunished. Clyde was helping, but Emily and Aaron were making it worse; unintentionally. Emily pretended there was nothing and Aaron pretended there was nothing. They both pretended and it had its consequences.

Hotch started cancelling. The first time, he really couldn't make it. He wanted to see Charlie, but the thought of seeing Emily again, looking at her and using everything in him to shut off his brain, made him exhausted. And a last minute call from an old friend was the perfect excuse not to see Emily. He missed seeing Charlie and he felt guilty, but one night, distracted enough not to think about it, made him feel relieved; like maybe Clyde was wrong. And they both needed Clyde to be wrong. But then, one day turned into two, the plans for the next day got cancelled, and the next day, and he was just continuously letting down his little girl. The guilt was there; enormously so, and he had no excuse other than avoidance for the girl's mother and, hell, maybe the child too, but he still did it. He didn't want to do it, but he did.

He didn't know what was wrong with him. They were both so good at compartmentalizing everything else. What was so different about this? The problem was that Emily couldn't read his duplicity and he couldn't read hers; mostly because they didn't realize they were lying to themselves. They were just that good. They saw what they wanted to see and felt what they thought they should; what they felt they needed. And that was what got them into trouble. Perception versus reality and truth versus thoughts… It was a mess, but it was expected. They'd deal with it in their own time.

But Hotch's main concern was Charlie. He wasn't seeing her because he didn't want to see Emily. How did that make sense? He wasn't an avoider and neither was Emily, but when it came to each other that was all they seemed to do. So the last few days of March, he worked to rectify the situation. He called every morning and every night but she didn't answer. The thought of just stopping by crossed his mind, but he deemed it a bad idea. There was a reason she wasn't answering and he knew that reason. He guessed he should've been grateful he was just being sent to voicemail rather than hung up on, but he would've at least liked some sort of response. He would've settled for anything really; even a text saying everything was ok. Instead, he casually asked JJ in passing how Emily and Charlie were doing. When she said they were well, he felt a little better. He just wished Emily was the one telling him that.

However, Thursday evening, before heading out for a special birthday dinner, just him and his son, the one he once planned to invite Emily and Charlie to even if that made it seem date like, he found her clearance papers on his desk. Once he and Strauss signed, Emily would officially be back from her unpaid leave and there'd be no more avoiding. Before leaving that night, he signed his name and put it in the outbox. It'd soon be official. The team wanted that… He wanted that. But he wasn't prepared for that. Not yet…

He spent the night focused on his son, which he should've done, and returned him back to Haley's in time to do homework and bathe before bed. He actually got to say goodnight in person, which didn't happen nearly often enough. It was refreshing even if the night was missing a certain someone.

"Goodnight dad. I love you."

"I love you too son. I'll see you on Saturday for your party."

"Everyone's going to be there right? There's not going to be a case?"

"Everyone will be here. Now sleep. You have school in the morning."

"Ok. Bye dad."

"Bye Jack. Happy birthday."

He tucked his son in and left the room. Haley stopped him before he reached the door. "Thank you for keeping this promise Aaron. He was so excited to spend his birthday with you."

"He's my son Haley. Just because we're over doesn't mean he's not my son. We don't have to be an us for him to be important to me." The words replayed in his mind. Why did that make sense with Haley but not Emily? How was he so willing to forgive her for taking his son and walking out on him, but he couldn't do that with Emily?

"I know." Haley responded, noticing the look on his face. "Are you ok Aaron?" He didn't reply, just stilled. "It's just; you seem distracted, like you're somewhere else. And, like you pointed out, we may have been over for a long time now, grasping at something that wasn't there anymore, something that couldn't be fixed without a compromise neither of us was willing to live with, but we're still friends. Aren't we? We owe it to each other to be honest and communicate. So I'm here. If you need to talk, I'm here." She said it with all sincerity. While they drifted apart as romantics and lovers, they were always friends. That was how their relationship started out in high school and that was how they were determined to end it. They disagreed about a key aspect of their lives and that caused major issues and it caused fights and anger, but they were still partners, parents, and friends.

"Thank you Haley. We are still friends. And I might just take you up on that offer one day, but not today. I'm fine. Thank you for letting me take Jack out tonight. I'll call tomorrow night and I'll be over early Saturday to help you set up."

"Ok." That was the best she was going to get. "Drive safe."

"I will." He hugged her and kissed her cheek. "Goodnight Haley."

"Goodnight Aaron."

He returned home that night with more to think about. Haley could sense something was wrong with him, but he couldn't admit it. Emily was coming back to work and he'd be forced to confront that. He was absent from his daughter's life, only available in the sometimes capacity of friend, and his son was growing up much too fast. So much had changed in just a few short months; some for the better and some for the worse. A colleague and friend survived something she probably shouldn't have just to drop a bombshell on his life. He learned about a daughter he didn't know he had, created with a woman he knew in passing for years though only had the courage to pursue when he had a buzz in his system and a pain in his heart.

Taking stock of his life, it seemed abysmal. Things were crazy. They were hectic. And they were a complete mess. But they were also so full of possibility. That was what he had to focus on. He was given a chance to have it all. So he was divorced and a little inexperienced in the new age dating protocol and he had two kids with different mothers and he had a job that kept him away more than usually acceptable, that didn't mean he couldn't try to get out there. One chapter ended and he needed to start the next. Haley had. He could too. It would be good for him. Though he didn't know where to start and he wouldn't go actively looking for anyone, he wanted to move forward; with Charlie and Jack and his life. He didn't want to be in this standstill he was living. It was all about moving on: for him, for Emily, for anyone really. But they were going to make it happen in one way or another.

The next day, he was just waiting for the time to pass. After the morning briefing, he held up in his office doing busy work and waiting for Strauss to knock on his door to talk about Prentiss' return. They needed to discuss the when and how aspects of it. Honestly, knowing the tumultuous relationship between those two women, he also wanted to see how she was reacting to the impending return. And he wondered if Emily told the team yet. Dave knew because he told him, but what about the rest of them? He decided to wait until he had an official date and until he knew Strauss had signed off on it, but she could've told them.

It didn't matter. One way or another, they were bound to find out and he'd let that play out naturally. He had more important things to deal with. He met with Strauss just after noon. The woman seemed indifferent to Emily's clearance, which wasn't completely out of character for her, but knowing her attempted mole was coming back should've sparked some sort or response. But it didn't. Whatever. He was given a general time period for her return, within two weeks, and then he was out of there.

His evening was spent running until it got dark. Before heading to the trails for his run, he drove by Emily's house to see if she was home. He was going to drop in and force her to talk to him because every day she didn't, pushed him one step closer to filing those papers and he didn't want that. He didn't want a big messy fight. But when he got to her house, instead of finding the lights on and the car in the driveway, it was dark. So much for that idea. Maybe it was for the best. He knew he was going to see her the next day at Jack's party and he could just corner her there. Where would she run when there was nowhere to go? Thinking of her made him go faster and push harder. It was the only way to safely blow off that steam. And he wanted to get ready for the marathon he wanted to do in the coming months.

Work. Run faster. Haley. Run faster. Charlie. Run faster. Emily. Run faster. He definitely decreased his average time that night. But it felt good. It relaxed him, but things were far from solved. That would require actually working on things. As the sun faded and the air grew colder, Hotch knew it was time to head home. He did enough running for one day. Hopping in his car, he made his way to his apartment, called Jack like he promised, and turned in early.

The next morning, he headed over to Haley's to spend a little time with Jack before aiding Haley and Jessica with the set up. It wasn't a big party. Early on, Hotch and Haley agreed that big parties wouldn't be an every year thing. They did one for his first and fifth, ones that felt big. They would for his tenth too, but mostly, they would do small family parties with just a few friends. That was what was best. That was what they decided together and they planned to stick to it, though they could bend if Jack asked; maybe.

People started showing up at one. Helen was there, which was unexpected because she didn't know if she'd be able to do the long drive, but Sean couldn't make it. They didn't expect him to fly out from New York. He did send a present though and he called. Jack had his cousins there and some kids from school. Dave showed up and Reid. Morgan told him he was going to be late. And there was no missing Penelope Garcia and Kevin as they made their entrance. JJ brought Henry too. Only missing was Emily and Charlie.

When he wasn't looking they showed up. He was setting up the grill when he heard Jack yell her name. "Charlie!" He called and it caused Hotch to instantly turn around. Emily and Charlie were just closing the gate behind them when Jack ran over and Haley followed. It looked like they wished him a happy birthday as he made his to them. Charlie was carrying a present that must've made it impossible to see where she was going. But it made him laugh because he knew that if she was anything like him and Emily, that whether she could see or not, whether it was too heavy or not, she would've been insistent on carrying it. She definitely got their stubborn streak. It was adorable. It was even cuter when Henry came over to them and Jack took the present as Henry grabbed her hand and the three walked away together.

He watched as Emily and Haley talked. It made him a little uncomfortable. He didn't think Emily would say anything, but the threat of it coming out was a little worrisome. It already threw his life for a loop. If she found out he couldn't imagine what that would do, how things would change. So he watched them curiously. They only met a handful of times, but they seemed friendly enough. He wondered what was being said.

Then Emily started to walk away. He could see Charlie run up to her hug her and then run away again before Emily met up with JJ. She didn't stay with her long. Just a few words exchanged and a few nods. He couldn't be sure what was said or even if Emily was really talking since her back was facing him, but he wanted to know. Emily leaned in for a quick hug, waved to the other BAU members, and went back out through the gate. She was leaving! Where was she going? He wanted to talk to her and she was leaving.

He was about to head after her, try to catch up with her before she made it too far, but Haley was already coming his way. "Was that Emily?" He asked, though he knew the answer.

"Yeah, she was just dropping Charlie off."

"She's uh… She's not staying?"

"No, she said that she had some things to do and she'd try to make it back before the party's over, but JJ would look after Charlie so everything should be fine. I wasn't worried though. From what Jack tells me, she seems like a great, well behaved kid."

"Did she… Did she say anything else?"

"No." Her face scrunched as she saw his faraway look. He was just staring at nothing. "Aaron, what's wrong?"

"What?" He was shaken from his gaze. "Oh, nothing's wrong." He cleared his throat. "Grill's set when we're ready. Let me know when you want me to start. I'm going to catch up with the guys." She watched him suspiciously. There was something weighing on him; something heavy. "Hey Dave, JJ."

"Hi Hotch." They answered simultaneously."I just saw Emily leave. Where'd she go?"

"She couldn't stay."

"Is she home?"

"I don't know, maybe."

"Why Aaron? Is there something going on?" Rossi asked.

"No Dave, nothing's going on. I was just hoping to talk to her about work."

"We heard about her clearance. When does she come back? Last time I checked, Emily didn't know." JJ asked.

"We're not sure yet. That's why I wanted to catch her. She wasn't answering her phone Friday."

"Sorry. I can tell her to call you when I drop Charlie off. She might make it back here if she finishes early."

"Ok, thank JJ. I'm going to go make sure Haley doesn't need my help. I'll see you guys later."

"Ok Hotch."

"Aaron." Rossi said with a curt nod.

He tried to busy himself and just enjoy the day like everybody else, but it just wasn't that easy. The plan was to get Emily to talk to him and he couldn't do that if she wasn't there. And it was nagging at him; the little whisper in his ear saying he had to see her that day. He grilled up the burgers and hot dogs. There was still a slight chill in the April air, but the sun was out and it was relatively warm; a nice day to be outdoors. He joined his mother while they ate, catching up with her as the kids played around them.

Jack came up to Helen as Charlie tagged along. He was almost nervous to interact with her. He let her down and he was afraid to see that in her face. "Hi Charlie."

Slightly shyly, she waved and said, "Hi Aaron."

"Are you having fun?"

"Mmhmm. Jack let me play with him and his friends, but they were being mean to me. They said I was too little." His overprotective fatherly instincts were turned up to overdrive. He couldn't allow that. No one messed with his little girl.

"Do you want me to beat them up for you?" He joked.

"No." She sighed. "Jack told them they have to be nice to me or he wouldn't play with them anymore. They don't like me." She was pouting. It looked like she was going to cry. So he sat her on his lap and hugged her, like any father should, and tried to make her feel better.

"It's ok. They just don't like that you're better than they are."

"I don't want to be small. They think I'm a baby."

"You're not a baby. You're so big. They're just older and being mean to you. That's what boys do. You have to stay away from them, especially when you're older."

Her sniffles broke his heart, but she was determined not to cry. "It's ok." He whispered in her ear as he gently rubbed circles on her back. "You're such a big girl, you know that. They're just jealous because you're so perfect and they're not."

"Mommy says nobody's perfect but I come really close, but sometimes she says I am perfect too."

"Well she's right. You're as close to perfect as anyone could be."

With glassy eyes, she looked to him and asked, "How come you didn't come over? Me and mommy were really excited and you didn't come. She told me you were working. Were you working?"

He had to lie to her. He didn't want to, but he had to for his sake and Emily's. The truth would've made him look like garbage and would've made Emily out to be a liar when she was just covering for him. "I was working. I really did want to see you though."

"Will you come over soon? Mommy bought the stuff so we could cook together. She said it was your favorite."

"She did?" He felt like an ass.

"Uh huh. Are you going to come soon?"

"I want to. I'll have to talk to Emily about it."

"I wish mommy was here."

"Me too." He said quietly. "Where is she?"

"She said she couldn't come."

"Why?"

She shrugged. "Mommy told me to tell JJ if I needed her and she'd come get me, but I want her here."

"Is she at home?"

"I think so. I don't know."

"Ok. Are you feeling better?" She nodded into his chest. "Good. Did you finish eating?"

"I ate it all!"

"Then you should go play. Have fun, and if they are mean to you again, you find me and I'll make them stop."

"Ok." She got off his lap and walked over to Jack and Helen. After talking a little, the kids went to play.

"You look good with a little girl in your arms."

"I think it's just that little girl. She's… She's just like her mother."

"Ah yes, she's a looker. Her poor father's going to have to beat the boys away."

"Her father?" He croaked out. He felt like there was a literal frog in his throat.

"Yes, didn't we meet him in New York? The blonde fellow?"

"Clyde is not her father." He said angrily. He couldn't control that.

"Alright, I'm sorry. I wasn't aware. You young kids don't tell us old folk anything. That leaves our minds to wander."

"I'm sorry mom. He just…"

"You're not fond of him."

"No. Not really." He was jealous of him. "We got off to a bad start. It's nothing to be concerned about."

"I'm always concerned about my boys."

"I know." He said as he looked to his children.

"You and Haley seem to be doing ok. And Jack seems unaffected by the divorce."

"We're doing well. Haley and I will always put Jack first, but besides that, we're friends and we want it to stay that way."

"Good for you. I'm proud of you. Both my boys are doing so well for themselves. If only Sean would settle down and give me a few grandbabies, then things would be perfect. Do you plan on having more kids Aaron? I'd like to meet them before I die."

"Mom." He was getting a guilt trip from his mother and she didn't even know how much actual guilt she was adding. "I promise to talk to Sean about settling down."

"And you?" He gave her a, 'me what?' look. "Now that you and Haley are divorced, do you plan on settling down again?"

"We just got divorced."

"But you both saw it coming. You love each other, but you weren't willing to sacrifice for each other. It wasn't going to work. You've practically been divorce for years now. And," she hesitated, "I head she has a new beau."

"I'll let you know when I'm ready to settle down. And if Haley has moved on, that's great for her. I want her to be happy."

"Ok, just remember I would love a few more grandchildren before…"

"Before you pass. I heard you mom. Loud and clear."

"Because I am getting old."

"You don't look it."

"Sweet of you to say, but not at all true. I'm every bit my age and proud of it."

"We were all very happy you could make it out for this. I know you don't like to travel anymore, but Jack was very pleased."

"I couldn't pass up the chance to see my grandson again. With your work schedule, I didn't know when the next time I'd see you would be."

"Well, I'm glad you're here."

"Me too. Now stop talking to your boring old mother and go mingle. There's a hot mother over there that has been staring at you all day."

"I love you mom." He said as he got up. "You're staying with Jack and me tonight right?"

"Yes, I'd love to have a little extra time with my boys."

"Ok." With a few more words exchanged, he started to mingle. The "hot mom" that was ogling him wasn't anywhere near his destination. He just wandered around a bit. He caught up with Morgan and Reid. He saw JJ helping Charlie and Henry get a drink. He looked to his watch. It was quarter of 4. Another hour and they'd do cake and presents. He wondered if he had time. He wondered if it was the right choice.

Making his way into the kitchen, he pretended to look around knowing Haley followed him in. "What are you looking for?"

"I was going to put the candles on the cake. Do you know where they are?"

"In the drawer, where they've always been." He knew that. The figure eight candle and the small box were in his pocket.

"They're not in here. Did you move them?"

"They have to be in there." She rushed over, pushed him aside and furiously began looking. "They're not in here. But I checked last night. How could they not be in here?" She was panicking.

"Hey," he calmed her, "it's ok."

"It's his birthday Aaron. We need candles on his cake."

"I know; which is why I'm going to run to the store right now to pick some up. You stay here and keep everyone under control and I'll go pick up a new box of candles."

"And the number candle. That's the good luck candle."

"I know Haley. I'll get one of those too."

"Ok. Ok, thank you. Go, go do that. I'll handle things here. We can do the cake when you get back."

"I won't take long."

"Go. Hurry."

Was he ashamed he made up an excuse to leave his son's birthday party for a little while? Yes, he was, but it was something that couldn't wait or he wouldn't be able to focus on Jack. And that was what his son deserved; his undivided attention at his party. So he had to take care of things. He slinked out through the front door so no one would see him go. Haley would cover for him. He felt kind of bad, but he did it. As he got in his car, he took the candles out of his pocket so they wouldn't get crushed as he sat, and put them in an old shopping bag on the passenger's seat. His "shopping excursion" was over; on to the real destination.

Carefully driving above speed limit, it didn't take too long for him to arrive at her house. Her car was in the driveway, so she was definitely home. Obviously, her excuse for not being there was just that; an excuse. He slammed the car in park, undid his seatbelt, and made his way to the door. Knocking anxiously, he waited for her to answer.

"I'm coming!" He heard her yell through the door before it was pulled open. "Hotch? What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at your son's party?"

"Shouldn't you be there too?" He added sarcastically.

"I have an appointment to get to."

"Do you?"

"Yes, I do."

"I tried calling you."

"I didn't hear the phone ring."

"Not today. I called multiple times over the last few days."

"That's great Hotch. What'd you call to cancel this time? I don't remember any plans, so you can't be here in person to explain why you won't be coming."

"I deserved that." She walked away, moving into the house, but leaving the door open for him to follow if he chose. He vaguely heard a "yeah" as he followed her in. "Talk to me Emily."

"What's there to talk about?"

"I called about work."

"Ok." She waited for more.

"I heard you got clearance from Dr. Lozano."

"I did."

"And you were medically cleared before then."

"I was."

"I signed off on your return."

"I know."

"You know?"

"Yeah, Strauss called me in, lectured me, made it clear that she was keeping an eye on me because my work reflects her as a superior, and told me that both you and she signed off on my return."

"When did she do that?"

"Yesterday."

"What else did she say?" He wasn't privy to that meeting. He saw Strauss and she said nothing. Why wasn't he involved? He thought they'd further discuss it during the week.

"You didn't know?"

"No."

"Great, she was just going to spring me on you and hope everyone was happy about it."

"Why wouldn't they be happy with it? Everyone knows you were cleared."

"Do they even want me back?" She looked for an answer, a comforting one, for her doubt. "Do you?"

"Yes, they all want you back. You are a part of our team. We are a unit. All of us." He paused. "And I… I want you back too." She looked at him skeptically. She may have been avoiding him, but he avoided her first. And yes, that logic seemed childish, but it was what they had. How were they going to work together when they could barely be in a room together?

"Then I'm coming back to work next week."

"That's great." He said genuinely.

"You can go now Hotch. You said what you needed to say. I'll see you at work in time for the briefing Monday morning after I get reinstated and update all my paperwork." Monday?

"There's more I have to say."

"What more could there be?" He spent a nice afternoon with both his kids, celebrating one of the best days of his life eight years later, and, in that moment, all he could see was how much he was messing up. All he could see were the mistakes they were making. He wished he knew how to stop it. "That's what I thought." Irritably, Emily began to walk away. "See yourself out Hotch. I'll see you Monday."

"I need you to listen to me Emily." He needed to get her to hear him. He meant what he was going to say, he just didn't realize to what extent until he saw that Prentiss glare that sent chills through his body. But he had to stop her so she would hear him out. Maybe a little too roughly, he grabbed her arm and pulled her toward him. "All I've thought about since I found out about her was what I've missed. I thought about the memories I have with Jack that I'll never get the chance to have with her. But this really isn't about me. It's about her. And I want to be there. Instead of focusing on what could have been and what can never happen, I need to think of the future. Of all the memories we can make and things we can do… all the father daughter firsts we can share. I want to be there when she gets an A on an assignment or at her recital to cheer her on. And I want to threaten her dates when she's older and, hopefully, scare them away without having to kill them. I want that. I want it all. I want her to know me, to be a family with me and Jack. All of us… I am her father, and as hard as it was to come to terms with, I don't care about what I've missed. It's about what we have now. And I have more than I can ask for; more than I ever imagined having. I'll never give that up. I've been avoiding this. You have too, but I'm stopping now. We can create a schedule, like a custody arrangement, just less formal, and I'll stick to it the best I can. I'll be there whenever I can, however I can; as long as she wants me. I'm sorry to you and to her, but just let me be her dad." He gauged her reaction, but all she did was look at him with these unreadable glassy eyes as she waited for more. "Sometimes I'm not going to be there. Work's going to come up. That's a fact for me and you. But let me be her dad. Let me be the dad I know I am."

She understood why he did it. He didn't show up because of her, and she couldn't fault him for not wanting to be around her. She didn't really want to be around him all the time either. She couldn't withhold her daughter because of something between them, but she couldn't let him hurt their daughter because of her either. "Don't do it again." She finally spoke. "If you say you're going to be there, be there. Don't let me down. Don't make me regret this. She, she likes you Hotch. She likes having you around. She smiles when she knows you're coming over and she talks about you when you leave. But it was only a couple of weeks and you were already doing what we both agreed you wouldn't. So this is it. Be there, do what you can to be there and keep her happy, and we'll all be happy."

"Good. Thank you. Now come back with me to the party. Charlie wants you there. Jack wants you there. The team wants you there. And I want you there too."

"Why exactly, or no, how aren't you there? You're the birthday boy's father. You would be missed."

"I needed to pick up candles." He didn't buy the way he said it either.

"Right, what did you do, steal them so you could 'run to the store'?"

"What? No."

"Oh my god, you did."

"Don't judge me. You're the one that didn't stay and I needed to talk to you today."

"I'm not judging…" She laughed. "I just never realized what a crazy person you are."

"I'm not crazy." He insisted as Emily led them to the door.

"Sure you're not."

"I'm not."

"Goodbye Hotch."

"Are you coming?"

"Yes." She nodded.

"Now?"

"I'll be there soon."

He looked to her to see if it was true, but he detected no dishonesty. "Ok, I'll see you there."

"See you there."

Unsrunching his disbelieving eyes, he said, "Ok." He left her there, standing at the door, looking back only once before driving off.

She didn't know what she was getting herself into. She didn't know why or how they ended up where they were, but, at least they were talking again. They both needed to learn, like the other problems in their lives, to just approach each other head on. Avoidance was just making their situation worse and Charlie was suffering the most because of it. But there was no time to dwell. She had a party to get to.

About ten minutes after he left, she followed. She didn't think people would get any ideas. But why take the chance? Why add suspicion by showing up together? And suspicion was a hard thing to avoid in front of elite profilers. Plus, she was sure JJ sill had a few ideas in her head and Emily didn't want to sway her in their direction by the mere "coincidence" of their concurrent arrival. When she got there, he was in the house lighting the candles and he didn't see her come in.

He spotted her when they brought out the cake. As the kids surrounded them and they sang Happy Birthday, he saw her as she joined in. She must've immediately gone to her friends rather than mingling. Charlie was with her too as they gathered around. Amidst the final notes, they caught each other's eye. Exchanging a simple smile to acknowledge the other's presence; maybe as a little thank you for the second chance too. It was just polite, cordial… everything they weren't just an hour before.

So much could change in an hour. A war could start. People could die. Lives could be altered. A seemingly happy life could be destroyed by a simple diagnosis. Couples could be married. Babies could be made. Resolutions could be found. So many things could happen. Lives change. And for them, it wasn't a drastic change. Truth was, they had that talk before and they were sure they'd have it again, but right then, they were on good terms and that was what they focused on. He wanted to be there. She wanted him there. That was what they saw. That was what an hour gave them. It gave them back the sense of moving instead of regressing. It gave them more clarity.

Their staring broke when the clapping started. The flames were blown and Haley was slicing the cake. The kids were all already bouncing around on a sugar high. Haley seemed intent on sending them home with every ounce of candy they could fit in their tiny bodies. There was even some in their goodie bags. Once the children were settled with cake and everyone else seemed to be taken care of, he saw that Emily was standing off a little away from the crowd, cakeless, he decided to bring her some.

"Here." He held out the plate in front of an unsuspecting Emily.

She smiled and accepted it. "Thank you."

"Having fun?"

"JJ left me for some chocolate. Charlie left me for Jack. Here I am, all alone. It kind of feels like I'm the awkward kid again. You know, the one that no one wants to play with and pushes aside when something better comes along." He laughed as she joked. "It's not funny."

"It is. Just eat the cake. It's chocolate."

Taking a bite, she muttered, "Thank you."

"Enjoy." He said and left as quickly and quietly as he came. He surprised her sometimes. He had this ability to do something so sweet without even realizing it, but he also had this ability like no other to just infuriate her beyond belief.

Presents went well. It was the first year there were none of the younger kids there tried to open his presents for him. Jack was delighted. He got things that he wanted and others he didn't even know to want. Overall, they'd call the day a success on more than one level. The best part about it was the continuous happiness of day with both his kids. There were a few downs. Charlie was picked on and she had a moment, but, selfishly, he relished in it because Hotch was the one to comfort her. So it was a good day. And, since he talked to Emily, he felt a little weight lifted off his heavy body.

Unfortunately, he didn't get a chance to say goodbye to Charlie or Emily. By the time he realized people were starting to leave and made his way over to the group, Emily and Charlie were already gone. Apparently, according to JJ, they said goodbye to Jack and then left because Emily actually had something she needed to do. He thought it was just an excuse and he was hoping that wasn't another one to avoid him. It wasn't.

"Thanks for inviting us Hotch. Henry had a good time."

"Us too." Reid added for the group.

"It was great to see mini G man in his natural habitat. He's so old now! And too cute."

"Well I know he was happy to see you too."

They talked for a little while. They hadn't really had a chance to catch up that day, so they took the time to do it then. He told them that Emily would be back Monday. It seemed better to tell them ahead of time even though he wasn't planning on it. Everyone was thrilled. They thought it would take longer, so to hear she'd be there when the weekend was over made them happy.

"Alright Hotch. I'm out. Got a date tonight. Tell Jack I said happy birthday and I'll see you at work. No cases this weekend."

"Oh, I have a date too. Kevin and I have plans for… well we have plans of a romantic nature. Bye Hotch."

With them gone, he helped Haley clear out some of the snack bowls and pick up some of the garbage left lying around as they waited for the rest of the guests to dwindle. Clean up wasn't the fun part, but the day was worth it. Taking the balloons down and folding up tables; it was all part of the mundane things of family life. Sometimes he missed not having that when he came home from a case or wherever, but he got over it. He had to. And he had a whole new set of things to miss with a whole new set of people.

"I think that's the last of them. Everyone's gone and Jack's getting ready for bed." Haley interrupted his thought process.

"What?" He was still a little spacey.

"Your mother's helping Jack get ready for bed. Playing with everyone all day wore him out and I think he's crashing from the sugar."

"I'll help him set up a few of those toys tonight."

"That would be great. You know I'm dangerous with power tools."

"I know. Are you sure you're ok with my mother and me staying here tonight?"

"Of course Aaron. She's still my family. The guest room's still set up and you said you don't mind sleeping on the bottom bunk in Jack's room."

"It's just one night. He thinks it's a sleep over."

"Yeah, he wants to stay up playing all night, but he'll be out early tonight."

"Yeah." He became quiet as he went deep into his thoughts again. Haley just watched, unsure what was happening.

"Aaron, I tried to ignore it, I've asked you about it before, but now I can't accept the non answers you've been giving me."

"What are you talking about?"

"You've been here all day… physically. And mentally too… most of the time. But sometimes, you just looked like you were a million miles away. What is it Aaron? Is it a case? Did something happen?"

"It's nothing Haley; nothing to be concerned about. There are no cases right now. I just have a lot on my mind."

"That's not it. You always have a lot on your mind, but it has rarely ever made you any less present with Jack. And I'm not saying you're not there for him now, but there's something and I think I've earned the right to know. You said you'd come to me if you needed. Well, now I'm telling you, you need to."

"You're right, there's something." She waited. He still looked off into the darkening sky, but she waited until he finally turned to her and said, "Haley, we need to talk."

I just wanted to put out a general thank you for all of your patience and understanding. I've been sick, but I'm doing better. I can't promise to update every week or every two weeks like I wish I could, but I will do my best to try. As a thank you, I'm offering a short one shot to the 200th reviewer. It's an accomplishment for me and a thank you for all of you readers. I've never written one and I don't know how it will turn out, but I'm going to try a short little thing. I'll PM whoever it is (if you have an account) and ask what you wish me to write about.

Wiggle34 I love the intense chapters and the more intense, the better. Stick around, there's more of that to come. And I know it's taking forever, but I want them to be together too. They just strike me as two people have been hurt in love and life and would be hesitant to start something with so much drama already. It's a process.

Cinnamonfa I love Clyde too! He doesn't always have to be made into the bad guy. Hotch is trying to take command of the situation. He's finally starting to be him again. Love the long chapters. I find I'm incapable of writing anything in the low thousands for this story, but hey, more to read right?

inheritancedrottningu Thank you. Those are both such great compliments. I'm honored this story is dubbed amongst the best Hotch Prentiss stories in your mind. It means a lot.

SouthunLady Here's another surprise! I updated. Sorry it kept you from sleep, but glad it's capable of having that kind of hold. Emily and Hotch are a very push and pull kind of couple in this story, because they're only just trying to figure things out and they don't know what exactly they're feeling. (I love the angst). They have their childish moments amongst the maturity. And Aaron will be introduced to Charlie as her father, I have it all planned out in my head, the chapter for that to happen just hasn't appeared yet. Thank you for keeping me in your thoughts, I'm doing much better now.

greengirl82 I'm glad my work can bring you some joy and brighten your day. I love the long chapters too. They make me feel like the wait wasn't for nothing. I think they both have a lot to make up for. While Emily's intentions were pure of heart, she did keep a kind from her father and Hotch is just making a mess of a messy situation, but they're working on it. If Clyde found out about those papers or thought he was wronging his women in anyway, I have no doubt he'd put those spy skills to good use. Oh, and congrats on your nomination. I loved Noises. I found it after it was completed and thought it was hilarious.

Celina79 Hotch is making an effort. They both are. And I don't consider Clyde a threat. He's protective and loving, and there, but he also knows their time is over. I haven't really explored the Clyde/Emily past too much, but he just wants what's best for Emily. I hope this chapter showed that. Hotch/Emily is my favorite pairing ever. If there should be one on the show, it'd be them. That should tell you what the future of the story holds.

dcatt Hotch is a lawyer. That was how he started out. Even if he didn't pursue it, it felt in character for him to at least have them on standby should things go wrong. I'm sorry that my delays are forcing you to learn patience but it truly is a virtue. Hope this chapter makes up for my absence.

123a456e People would hate him if he went through with the papers. Then everything would be out there and some of them already have their own notions about Charlie's father. He'd kind of be proving them right. I really, really miss Emily on CM too. It's so not the same without her. Blake is ok, but I find it hard to pay attention to her. She feels like the replacement. I'm trying to give it time, but I still watch for the other characters. I didn't take too long right? It wasn't months and I'm doing well now, so thank you for the patience.

HPforever-after That was one of my favorite lines because it was true. A situation that hadn't actually happened forces characters to be out of character. That weirdness was one of those moments and Emily made sure to tell him that he needed to pull himself together. People have the ability to make others do things they normally wouldn't. I don't think it will come to sides with Hotch and Clyde. I wonder if you feel the same after reading this chapter. I think Clyde just wants to make sure they're taken care of and he wants to make sure Hotch is worthy. There is some jealousy though (for his relationship with both the Prentiss girls).

CalleighJ I know you didn't review for the last chapter, but I thought I'd respond anyway. I'm happy my story had such an effect and I hope you continue to get chills.

HGRHfan35 It was a monster chapter! Believe me, my ass was hurting too. It was over 40 pages of writing and reading and editing. An hour's not bad time. There was a lot to read. Smashing their heads and yelling seems like a feasible idea. (Do you think Clyde kind of did that this chapter? In his own way of course.) Fighting parents is sad, but I think Charlie has been shielded from that as much as she could and knowing that some arguments is healthy is a good lesson for kids. (I think, what do I know?) And thank you for wishing me well. I really appreciate all the patience.

Emilyhotchnerforever of course Charlie's alright. She's good as new. And Clyde is a sweetheart. I love him. NY will rear its head around again; definitely more than nothing. PM is private message. If you go to an author's page there's a PM button and it allows to send the message. I miss Emily on the show too. It's not the same. Right now, I don't think she's on any other shows. She does Thrilling Adventure Hour, which I love. It's a podcast recorded from live shows. She's hilarious in that. Jack is a little cutie. I like Clyde and Emily too, but I think they're best as close friends. Main focus is Hotch and Em. We saw Sean's reaction. The others' will happen too. And thank you for the patience. I'm back and doing well.

leahloahla I'm feeling much better so thank you for the patience. Chapter 24 was a long one so I hoped it tied people over while I recovered.

lizard84 Thank you for understanding. I'm doing better now and I hope you enjoyed this new chapter.

TombRaider7 I'm happy you like this story and I hope you continue to enjoy it. also, thank you for the understanding and hopefully future updates will be timelier. No more issues (I hope).

Rugbygirrl That was an epic chapter. I loved writing it. Charlie's better, Hotch and Emily are trying to get their acts together, and yes, the new chapter brings us into April. Thank you for wishing me well and I hope things start to look up too.

Sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors.

Thank you everyone who has added this story to alerts or favorites and to those of you who have given feedback. Opinions are much appreciated; feedback, input, whatever. Constructive criticism also welcomed. I hope you enjoy. Until next time…