hope you like it. hard chapter to get out, considering the lack of time i have at the moment. busy busy right now. let me know what you think. i love hearing all you're reviews. they make my day.
Three weeks later, Haley had yet to even speak to Nathan. As much as she missed him, she still didn't feel as though she could trust him. He was still there for the doctors appointment with Haley, and it was still understood that he would be in the baby's life. Along with Brooke, she walked into school, seeing Nathan sit at their usual table she sighed and went to sit there as well. Just because they weren't together didn't mean that their friends had to be divided too. As they approached the table, she saw Nathan turn to face her and their eyes locked.
Nathan seen her walking across the quad, laughing at something Brooke said. She was so beautiful when she laughed, or smiled. It was something he hadn't seen much of recently. He knew it was his fault that her smile had disappeared for long and he took all the blame for it. He missed her, there was no doubt about that. But he was trying as hard as he could to accept what she wanted. And if her space was what she wanted he would accept her wishes. She sat down across from him beside Brooke and smiled timidly at him. He smiled back, happy that at least she wasn't completely ignoring him.
"We have an ultrasound next week. Thursday at 3:30." she said to Nathan.
"I'll be there." he said, loving hearing the sound of her voice.
"Ok." she said smiling slightly again. She lapsed into silence again and averted her eyes from Nathan's.
So, prom is coming up. Are we all going together?" Brooke shot in trying to avert the awkward silence.
"I don't think I'm going to prom Brooke." Haley said.
"Come on Hales. You have to come with me. I mean everybody knows you're pregnant. So get dressed and put on a pretty dress and enjoy prom with me." Brooke begged her best friend.
"You're going with Lucas. Peyton is going with Jake. You don't need me." she said.
"Come on. You're my best friend and I want you there. You'll look so beautiful in whatever dress we find. And if by chance we cant find one that fits you, I will make you a dress. Being pregnant wont change how beautiful you will be at prom except for making you even more beautiful with that glow you're sporting." Brooke begged.
"Thanks Brooke but that's not the reason I'm not going to prom. I have to go." she said before getting gup and hurrying away from the table.
"I'll be right back." Brooke said getting up to follow Haley.
Haley walked to her locker and dug through her books trying to find her math book.
"Hales I'm sorry." Brooke said walking to stand with her best friend.
"It's okay Brooke. But I still cant go to prom." she said.
"That's okay. But I think you should come. We can go together, I'll tell Lucas." she said.
"Its okay Brooke. I don't feel up for it right now. I know its still a couple weeks away but right now in my frame of mind I don't think I could spend an evening with Nathan." she said.
"I know. I'm here for you. But I know that he's really sorry and he blames himself for all of it. And I know he should, it was his fault, but Lucas says he's really tore up about it." Brooke said.
"I know. And I'm not mad anymore but I cant be with him. He knows that and he understands that. I give him a lot of credit." she said.
"You still love him don't you?" Brooke asked.
"I do. I always will, and we'll always have our child in common. But as of right now, I don't think we can get past this." Haley said sadly.
"It's okay. Lets just get to class." she said taking Haley's hand and leading her to Mrs Breckner's class.
Haley said in class doodling on her notebook, she couldn't concentrate on Mrs Breckner telling everyone about goals and dreams. She saw Brooke glance sideways at her, concern gracing her features. She smiled at Brooke trying to reassure her. Brooke nodded minutely before turning back to the teacher.
"Are we interrupting something girls?" Mrs Breckner said to Haley and Brooke.
"No." Haley said quietly.
"No. I was just checking in with Haley." Brooke said.
"Well do it on your own time girls. This is my class, so you will listen to me, and pay attention to me. The whole school knows that Haley and Nathan Scott broke up, now its time to deal with it." she said.
"You seem to forget that the end of this relationship, affects more than just Haley and Nathan. This relationship affects an innocent child." Brooke ranted.
"Brooke stop." Haley said reaching across to calm her down.
"Miss Davis you can make your way to the principals office. You have no right to interupt me and then talk back to me." she said. Brooke nodded and gathered her things.
"No. Brooke should not be kicked out because she's being a good friend." Haley said quietly.
"How about this, both of you can leave." she said pointing to the door. Haley nodded and followed Brooke out of the class.
"And you say that Breckner is nice." Haley said.
"She usually is. She doesn't like you it seems." Brooke mused.
"Ha. Thanks Brooke." Haley said smiling. Together the two girls walked to the principals office.
"We've been through a lot but we've never been kicked out of class together before." Brooke said laughing.
"True." Haley said upon entering the office. Principal Turner gave them a warning before sending them back out.
"Want to go to our table?" Brooke asked.
"Yeah." Haley answered.
The rest of the day went by much better than the beginning did. In literature class, Haley took her seat across the room from Nathan.
"Today, we're starting a partner project. You will be randomly choosing your partners through a draw. This unit is Romeo and Juliet, learn to love it, enjoy it." he said. One half of the room wrote their names on a sheet of paper, and the other half drew names. Haley drew her name and sighed seeing Nathan's name scribbled across the sheet. When it came to be her turn to announce her partner she sighed again.
"I got Nathan." she said. Nathan's head shot up, and he felt the first twinge of possibility pass through him. He was going to be stuck with Haley for the rest of the week, at the very least he would talk to her. The best part was that they were going to be discussing love, regardless of what kind of love it was. He grabbed his stuff and brought it over by Haley to the seat already vacated beside her.
"Hey" he said sitting down beside her and pulling his desk closer.
"Hi." she answered looking at her book.
"Are you okay with this? I mean us working together?" he asked worried.
"Its fine. It's just an assignment." she said quickly.
"Ok, good." he said smiling slightly opening her book to the first page of the play, she started reading to herself, Nathan did the same. After reading the first scene she put her book to the side and waited for Nathan to finish.
"This is so stupid. Why did Shakespeare have to have his own language? I cant understand any of it." he ranted, frustration mounting inside of him.
"We're working on this together. I'll help you try to understand it." she said.
"Thanks Hales." he said. She simply nodded at him before reading the questions they had to answer for the first scene. When they finished the first couple scenes, they put their books away. They sat there in an awkward silence, neither knowing what to say.
"Um, so you're really not going to prom?" he asked trying to make conversation.
"No. I cant." she answered.
"I think you should go. You'll really regret not being able to go. If you want I'll skip it." he said.
"No. I have no interest in going." she said.
"Are you sure?" he asked.
"Yes. Quite sure." she answered. The silence started up again, and neither knew how to fill the void. When the bell rang, Haley leaped from her seat faster than Nathan could have deemed possible. He sighed, hating how quickly and desperately she needed to get away from him. Clearly he wasn't making any progress at all. He remembered back even a few weeks ago, when there were no such thing as awkward silences, and they always knew how to fill the silence. Back when she still loved him, back when she still wanted to be with him. It was more than a little painful how quickly things changed for them, and how it seemed they could never go back to the way they were. But that didn't mean he was going to give up. He couldn't give up on her.
Haley left the school as quickly as she could after classes were done, hoping to avoid Nathan as much as possible. She was still mad at him, but most of all she was just scared of opening up to him again. Opening up to him, meant that he could hurt her again, and she didn't think her heart could take that. She barely survived it this time, she couldn't imagine going through it again. When Brooke arrived at the car, Haley climbed in beside her.
"So how was the rest of your day?" Brooke asked.
"Interesting." Haley answered carefully.
"Interesting? How?" Brooke asked curiously.
"Well, lets see here, in Literature, Nathan is my partner on our partner project on Romeo and Juliet." Haley said.
"Oh." Brooke answered not knowing what else to say.
"Yeah." Haley said nodding. The two drove home in silence until Brooke pulled into the driveway.
"Are you ever going to forgive him? I'm not saying you should, or you shouldn't. but I can see in your eyes that you still feel the same way for him as you did before he screwed up, and regardless of your feelings right now, that still does mean something." Brooke asked as they were walking of the front walk.
"I don't know right now Brooke. I mean in a perfect world everything will end up fine, I will fall back into Nathan's arms, and all will be fixed. But this isn't a perfect world, this is the real world and it doesn't work that way here. On a personal level, yeah I would love to get back together with him again. But right now, I don't think I can, and I cant see us ever fixing it because right now all I can think about is how much I hurt. How much he hurt me. How much he let me down. How I don't feel like I can trust him. How I don't think that I ever will again. It's all too much right now." Haley explained.
"I understand Hales, I really do. But I also think that you wont be happy until you're back with him. You love him and he loves you. Now I'm not telling you to run to his house right now and forgive him all his transgressions. But at least consider the possibility sometime in the future, preferably before prom, so you and Nathan can come with us." Brooke said.
"I will. I'll try not to block the prospect of being in love from my life. Because despite it all I still do love him." she said.
"You need to tell him that. He thinks you hate him." Brooke said.
"I'll tell him." Haley said.
"You should go over there now, and tell him. It'll make you both feel better." Brooke said tossing the car keys to Haley.
"Fine." Haley said deciding it was easier not to argue with Brooke Davis when she wanted something.
Haley drove slowly to Nathan's, dreading this particular conversation. Slowly she walked up the sidewalk and rang the doorbell. There was only Nathan's SUV in the driveway, so she knew that no one else was home. He opened the door and his eyes widened when he saw her.
"Haley, is everything all right?" he asked worried about the baby.
"Yes everything is fine. I just thought I should come by and talk to you about our relationship." Haley said quietly.
"Ok, come in." he said stepping aside. She stepped around him and walked into the living room and took a seat on the reclining chair.
"So what's there to talk about?" Nathan asked, dangerously close to hoping.
"I know that you think that I hate you, and I want nothing to do with you. I may have said that at one point, but I didn't mean it. I didn't mean any of that. But that doesn't mean we can be together. Not right now. right now I am still too hurt, too wounded to even consider a relationship with you. But that doesn't mean that I don't love you. Because I do, I still love you Nathan. And I always will. I don't see that changing anytime. While I think I could see us getting back together at some point, its just not an option right now. I just thought that you should know." she said standing up and walking closer to him. She leaned forward and kissed his cheek softly before leaving.
Nathan sat there, hope flooding through him. She still loved him, that was something at least. And the idea that she thought they would get back together at some point, reassured him, that maybe this wasn't a lost cause. She was still in there, and she was fighting to come back. She just wasn't there yet. That conversation meant more than anything else he could have come up with. There was a distinct possibility that she would come back to him, and he would have the chance to spend the rest of his life proving to him how much he loved her. And if time was all she needed, that he could willingly give to her. Time was the one thing he could give her now. Time and hope were the only things he had at the moment.