Chapter Twenty-five: Oaths and Confessions

Mizael screamed for almost the entirety of his forced transformation.

His nails dug painfully into Durbe's hand, but the pain was almost welcoming, was almost just for what Durbe was subjecting Mizael to. Mizael's rough skin burned as it dissolved in sizzling tendrils, leaving behind a raw pink layer of human flesh, his center gem was ice against Durbe's hand as he pulled it from Mizael's chest, ripping long tendrils of nerves along with it.

Most horrifying was his face, crumbling away in rocky chunks as they turned to dust upon hitting the pillow. The only time his screaming ceased was during the painfully long transition from Barian lungs to human ones, where Mizael couldn't breathe, and Durbe could only watch in grotesque fascination as a horizontal split appeared in Mizael's face. Lips appeared first, then teeth, a tongue, and suddenly his screaming had resumed.

"Please forgive me," Durbe whispered, but Mizael didn't hear him. Durbe placed a hand on Mizael's soft human face, stroking it gently, until Mizael's screams subsided into shuddering gasps for air. His skin was still burning, but beads of sweat broke out on Mizael's forehead, and it was already more moisture than he had been able to muster up in his Barian form.

Finally, Mizael's wide blue eyes focused on Durbe. "What…"

Durbe pulled his hand from Mizael's cheek and let out a quiet breath of relief. "I am so sorry, but I had to force you into your human body. You've been poisoned."

Mizael nodded, eyes drooping. "How long?"

"It has been only a short while," Durbe murmured. "I got you here as quickly as-"

"No." Mizael's head rolled over onto the pillow. "Until I die."

Durbe clenched Mizael's hand in both of his. "You won't. Just rest. I'll take care of you."

"Are you hurt?" Durbe could barely make out Mizael's voice.

"No," Durbe whispered.

"I'm glad."

Mizael fell asleep.

He didn't know how long he stood by Mizael's bedside, holding his sleeping general's hand, but when the door opened and Alit entered, looking grim, Durbe knew it had to have been quite some time.

"Did you find them?" Durbe asked quietly without looking up.

Alit glanced at Mizael, his eyes lingering on Durbe's hands. "The ones responsible for Mizael… must have escaped."

Durbe closed his eyes. "And the powder explosion?"

"Undoubtedly them as well, making a diversion." Alit hesitated. "We found a man with powder residue in his cloak, but he insisted that the cloak wasn't his."

"And you believed him?"

"The cloak belonged to a woman. A middle-class woman, possibly a merchant. It was nice wool, dyed red."

Dyed wool? Wool was quite popular among the Heartland merchant class, especially when it was dyed. "Then our would-be assassins are from Heartland?"

"It's a place to start."

Durbe gazed at Mizael's pink face, dripping with sweat. He had heard stories of an assassin couple from Heartland, a man and a woman, who killed with poison. Could Heartland be responsible for this?

Surely not… He wouldn't risk being that obvious. Heartland had more to gain from an alliance with the Barian Empire, anyway. But the Tenjo Kingdom… with the two sick sons, the one who had sold his soul… perhaps they would want revenge on the Barians.

Is this your doing, Kaito Tenjo? Is this where you fled?

"Is Gilag awake yet?"

"Not yet."

"Get the Healer to administer to his concussion. I want to know who let the prince escape."

"I will." Alit paused and reached into his robes, pulling out a folded piece of parchment. "This came for you." He took a deep breath. "From Baria."

Durbe closed his eyes and reached for it with one hand, the other still gripping Mizael's. "Who brought it?"

"Vector."

With a feeling of dread, Durbe flipped it open. The letter was short.

Your immediate presence is required at Baria. –Polara

He'd expected this, but not so soon.

They would want to know what happened. Vector had doubtless told them the events of the past week, of Durbe's failures. And now he would have to answer for them, with no time to prepare himself.

But he needed to find a way to cure Mizael. And he knew where to go. He had, after all, seen this exact poison work its way through an entire village before, killing nearly everyone in it.

But how did the assassins come by it? Very few humans ventured into the Sargasso Waste. There was little water and a mélange of venomous creatures, with so little edible food that it made going there a living nightmare.

How did they even hear of this poison?

"Alit, may I ask a favor of you?"

"Anything."

Durbe finally pulled his hand free of Mizael's. "Instead of getting the Healer, watch over Mizael until I return. I will see Gilag Healed and he will accompany me to Baria."

"And when you return?"

Durbe leaned over Mizael's shivering body and brushed his hair away from the sweat. "I will need you to come with me to the Waste."

Alit narrowed his eyes and grabbed Durbe by the arm as Durbe straightened up. "You're getting too involved in this."

"Of course I am, he's my general-"

"I know that." Alit took a deep breath. "Durbe, you're being… rash. This isn't like you." He nodded at Mizael's sleeping form. "I think you're letting your emotions take control, when logic is your strength." He let go of Durbe's arm and gestured hesitantly between Mizael and Durbe. "The other lords think there's something going on here. Something that could undo everything we've worked for all these years."

"There isn't," Durbe said curtly, walking past Alit to the door. His plans may have been interrupted by the Arclights and Kaito Tenjo and whoever had aided Prince Astral's escape, but they were by no means defunct. He could adjust.

"It doesn't matter if there isn't," Alit said with a humorless laugh. "All it takes is one lord to spin it against you for everything to unravel." He shook his head. "Mizael knew what he was getting into when he swore an oath to you. So did Gilag. So did I. Don't throw it away because you're too human to accept necessary sacrifices."

"I'm a Barian lord. Don't insult me."

"Maybe you should act like a lord, then."

For a moment, Durbe heard Mizael's voice in Alit's.

They locked eyes. How unusual, for Alit to speak back to him. Necessary sacrifices. He didn't want to be king if it meant throwing away the three individuals on the planet he could trust. He opened the door.

"When you return, you will tend to Mizael. Gilag and I will go to the Waste," Alit called after him.

Durbe paused. "I know what I'm looking for."

"You're also a lord, and therefore indispensable," Alit said firmly. "Gilag and I can handle it."

Durbe closed his eyes again. Hadn't Mizael said something similar? You need to live. Fulfill your oath. "Please take care of him, Alit."

Astral watched Yuma's hands slide over the shaft of the lance Ryoga had left with him. It had been a couple of hours, by the position of the sun, and they had seen the powder explosion from two miles off. All they could do was wait now. Yuma was restless; he kept getting up, walking around, mumbling to himself, and he tried out a few moves with the lance. It looked heavy, and Yuma didn't seem to feel comfortable with it.

"I was only ever really good at swordfighting," Yuma said with a quiet laugh, settling back next to Astral. They sat in silence for what felt like another fifteen minutes before Yuma cleared his throat. "Astral, I'm so sorry."

"For what?" As far as Astral was concerned, Yuma had done nothing to feel sorry for. He had done everything to keep his prince safe, at the cost of his own physical and emotional well-being.

Yuma leaned his head on Astral's shoulder. "When the Arclights attacked, when the one… controlled me. I wasn't strong enough to fight it. And I attacked you." His body shook and it took Astral a moment to realize that Yuma was crying again.

Astral swallowed the lump rising in his throat. "Yuma, you have done more for me than anyone could." He wiped a stream of tears from Yuma's face. "You're hurting, and I understand, but please, do not blame yourself."

Yuma's breathing slowed and Astral took his hand. He wanted to comfort Yuma, to let Yuma know things would get better, but Astral was a lousy liar and things would probably only get worse from here.

Shouldn't the others have been back by now?

Thirty yards away, the hatch to the tunnel opened and Astral shook Yuma gently. Yuma pulled his head off Astral's shoulder and made to stand before a figure pulled itself out of the hole. Three more followed.

"Barians," Yuma whimpered.

Astral had only a small knife, with no idea how to use it in any practical sense, and Yuma held only a lance he was uncomfortable with. But it was obvious what the Barians were doing. If the others were in the tunnel, they would be ambushed on their way out. They wouldn't have a chance.

Yuma bit his quivering lip and rested a hand on Astral's shoulder. "Can you summon?"

It was such a dangerous request, this close to the palace. Summoning Hope would alert everyone in the palace right to their location – not just a handful of Barian footsoldiers, but likely the three generals and the two lords as well.

But what was the alternative?

"I can try," Astral whispered.

He gripped his pendant and focused, expecting to feel the jolt of pure energy, the cool torrent of power rushing through his body like a waterfall, but instead, he felt… nothing.

No, not quite nothing. It was there, but just out of reach, as if there was a wall between him and the power he sought to release.

This didn't make sense, why couldn't he reach it?

Yuma waited anxiously, and Astral finally shook his head, hating the way Yuma's shoulders fell, knowing that after all Yuma had done for him, he couldn't even help Yuma this time. Yuma looked down at Ryoga's lance before squeezing his eyes shut.

"Yuma," Astral whispered.

"I have to protect you," Yuma said softly, rubbing the remaining tears from his eyes. "I will protect you this time."

Astral stood by the tree, watching helplessly as Yuma slipped through the treeline as gracefully as he could manage balancing an unfamiliar weapon. The Barians sat around the entrance, chatting in bored voices that carried all the way to Astral, and when Yuma got within striking distance, Astral offered up a small prayer for Yuma's safety.

Yuma misjudged his first strike, which scraped against his target's back without piercing the skin. But the Barian let out a shrill scream and fell to the ground twitching. It was a familiar motion, Astral realized, and he knew this weapon must be the Astral World's equivalent of a Barian weapon.

The other three Barians were stunned just long enough for Yuma to swing the lance around and pierce a second one, with the same result, its screams quickly giving way to silence. The third moved out of Yuma's intended striking range as the fourth moved behind Yuma. They were going to double-team him-

The lance was too heavy for him to wield in this situation, and Yuma dropped it before darting to the side. The Barians missed, barely, and Yuma backed up several yards under a tree, mouthing something to himself as he pulled out a single knife that Rio had left.

One of the Barians laughed. "You can't kill us with that. Give it up and tell us where your prince is."

Yuma's eyes darted up. "Say hello to your god for me."

With a fluid flick of the wrist, he tossed the knife straight up, where it knocked what looked like a pinecone from the tree. But by Yuma's mad dash away from the tree before the knife even made contact, Astral realized what it was.

The wasps swarmed the Barians, who swore and batted at them. Yuma picked up Ryoga's lance and waited for the Barians to swat enough wasps for Yuma to get close enough.

He thrust the lance into the back of the first Barian's neck, and when the second scrambled away, Yuma swung it by the edge of the shaft, where it arced and cut the Barian across the lower back.

Yuma took a deep breath and fell to his knees, shaking, as the last Barian's screams stopped.

Astral was paralyzed. He had never seen Yuma fight like that before; it was the same cool look that Ryoga had in his eyes when he fought. But now Yuma looked at the dead Barians around him and bowed his head.

"Yuma." Astral knelt down next to him. "Are you all right?"

Yuma swallowed before nodding. "It's like… something takes over for me when I fight. It's the same… as back then."

Astral pulled Yuma into an embrace, but this time, Yuma didn't cry.

"Quickly."

Rio reached back for Kotori's hand in the darkness. She heard footsteps a few yards back, and the unsheathing of a sword. Her own weapon was already in her free hand as she took off at a trot across the mercifully even stone walkway, tugging Kotori along behind her.

"Are you absolutely sure Lady Akari will be safe there?" Rio murmured as they hurried down the tunnel.

"Y-yes."

Kotori's hesitation was unconvincing until Cathy's voice piped in.

"The tall man cut her and then cut himself and they touched their cuts together."

Rio froze mid-trot and Kotori and Cathy both tumbled into her. She barely noticed. "They what?"

"They… were married," Kotori said in a quaky voice.

"Christopher Arclight and Yuma's sister were married?" Ryoga demanded.

They touched their cuts together. They swore a blood oath. If the Arclights were with the Barians now, and Yuma's sister had sworn a blood oath…

"What was the oath?" Rio's voice was steady.

"Loyalty," Kotori whispered.

"To?"

Kotori didn't respond and Rio squeezed her hand.

"Baria or Arclight, Kotori?"

"They're the same thing now."

Silence fell. Rio knew they had to keep moving, but the thought of Yuma's sister swearing a blood oath to the Barian Empire made her physically sick. It would break what was left of Yuma.

"Does Yuma know?" Ryoga asked, giving Cathy a little push into Kotori and Rio to get them moving again.

"No." Kotori sounded on the verge of tears and Rio gave her hand another small squeeze.

"Good. Don't tell him."

Rio understood why her brother would not want Yuma to know, but she didn't agree. "Don't you think he has the right to know?"

"And he'll know. Sooner or later. But for right now, he's hurting too much to add this to his burden."

It made sense, but Rio wondered how long it would be before Yuma was fit to hear about his sister.

"I hear something," Cathy said suddenly.

Rio strained her ears. She could make out the faintest echoes of footsteps on stone, getting louder by the second. "Barians."

"Hurry," Ryoga said, and Rio picked up her pace from a light trot to a full-on run.

"What if they catch up?" Kotori said breathlessly.

"We fight. Keep as quiet as possible."

"I hear them up there, too," Cathy whispered.

Rio didn't hear anything from ahead, but then, she was too preoccupied with the Barians at their backs. If there were Barians ahead, then-

They pinned us in here. A two-front pinch.

Had they anticipated this all along?

"Cathy, can you fight?" Ryoga said softly.

"The bears took my knives."

Rio heard her brother shuffle around on his belt for his spare. "Here. If they get close, don't hold back."

They slowed their pace to quiet their footsteps. The Barians from behind got louder; they clearly were not anticipating their targets to be ready to fight. And now she could hear the footsteps from ahead. They were soft, almost inaudible, and only about fifteen yards away. So the ones from behind were a distraction; attack from behind and draw attention away from the more obvious threat. It was the oldest tactic in the book, and had Cathy not heard them, they might have fallen right into it.

How did they even know we were coming through this tunnel?

As a Barian grunted in pain from behind them, the Barians to the front attacked, and Rio silently cursed that they were being forced to fight in the darkness.

Rio pushed Kotori to the ground against the filthy wall to keep her out of the way as Rio barely avoided a sword aimed at her throat. As the Barian fell forward, off-balance, she elbowed it – by the sound of it, she hit its throat – and with one deft movement, shoved her rapier into its chest. It fell, but she barely had time to check if it was still alive when she was momentarily blinded by a light filtering into the tunnel about thirty yards away.

Fortunately, it seemed the Barians had no idea what was happening either, because instead of taking advantage of Rio's distraction, they turned back to the light.

Rio blinked furiously, making out the three figures in front of her, and swept her rapier in as wide an arc as she could make in such a narrow tunnel, felling two. The third lifted a sword breaker to intercept her final blow, and before she could twist her weapon away-

A knife sailed past Rio's shoulder and planted itself in the base of the Barian's neck.

It staggered against the wall and fell.

Breathing heavily, Rio turned her head, where Cathy crouched on the floor next to a body, prodding it with a skinny finger.

"They're dead," Cathy said as calmly as if she were talking about dinner being ready. It made Rio shiver.

"Ryoga?" a voice echoed down the tunnel, and they all turned to see Yuma climbing down the ladder. "Is everyone…?"

Kotori climbed to her feet and held herself up against the wall. "Yuma!"

Yuma smiled as she staggered for him, and wrapped her in a tight embrace. "Thank the gods you're all right." He glanced over her head at the other three, surrounded by dead Barians. "They were going to ambush you from above, too."

Ryoga slid past Rio, a pained twist to his expression. "Did you… take care of them?"

The slight flinch in Yuma's face answered the question well enough.

"It doesn't matter," Rio said, placing a hand on Yuma's shoulder. "Is Prince Astral safe?"

"I'm here," a voice called down from the top of the ladder.

Kotori pulled away from Yuma and let Rio guide her up the first few rungs of the ladder. "Did Anna come back?"

There was a short pause. "No."

Rio felt a wave of sadness for the zealous merchant. What if she had been caught?

"She's crafty," Ryoga muttered. "I'm sure the Barians would rather let her go than listen to her complain all the time." Rio nodded slowly, not completely convinced. They had reasons for needing Anna at this point. She was the only one who knew about the Barian-killing plant in Sargasso. And if they were going to need to travel the edge of the Waste, what better opportunity to acquire it? But as things were, they had no idea what the plant was or where to find it, nor could they fashion it into weapons without Anna's help.

One by one, they filed up the ladder, prepared to leave Arclight behind for as long as they could.

Night fell before Astral couldn't move any farther, and he leaned against a scraggly cottonwood. "Are we far enough away by now?"

"There aren't any bears coming," Cathy said, squinting at the sky. She scampered up a tree and perched on a branch about halfway up. Kotori sighed before dragging a log into a small clearing and leaning against it.

Yuma closed his eyes and sat by a clump of sagebrush. Astral pulled himself away from the tree and knelt next to him, placing a hand on Yuma's shoulder.

"You fought admirably," Astral murmured. They would both certainly be dead had Yuma not fought. Astral felt a twinge of shame at his uselessness. Why had his attempt to summon Hope failed? Had the Barians done something to nullify his powers? Was there too much Baria Crystal in Arclight now for his powers to work properly?

Yuma looked up into Astral's eyes and then glanced at the Kamishiro twins, who were organizing flat-topped stones and logs in a circle. "Does it get easier, I wonder?" he whispered. "Killing?"

There was a reluctant acceptance in his eyes now; they no longer held the helpless anguish that had defined the past few days of his life. Fear seized Astral's heart. Had killing been the thing to bring Yuma back? Had the remedy for curing Yuma's grief been the very thing that had caused it? Was such a thing possible?

He'd come to terms with killing, it seemed. Accepted it as part of what his life would now encompass.

Death would have been more merciful than this.

"I'm sorry, Yuma," Astral whispered. "I can't help you."

Yuma nodded. He didn't seem to expect Astral to know what to say. There were only two people who could understand what Yuma was going through, and they were now arguing over the best way to start a fire.

It was incredible, how the Kamishiros could have lost so much, could take so many lives, and still seem so… normal.

Astral returned to his feet. His robes were filthy, but the night air was chill and he didn't feel up to cleaning his clothing this late. Especially not this close to the Waste. Who knew what could be lurking here? "Yuma, I think you need to speak with the captain."

"What about you?"

Astral smiled at him. "I would like to speak to Lady Rio about their experience. I am afraid there are a great many things I do not understand about how they came to rescue us." And why Lord Kaito was there, with the Barian's curse on his eye.

Rio had snatched the flint from her brother and was focused on igniting the clumps of dried sage under the logs as Astral approached.

"All I'm saying is that burning this stuff will make everyone lightheaded and about ready to ascend to the Astral World," Ryoga was arguing, prodding a stick at the smoldering sage.

"Feel free to find something else to burn, Ryoga," Rio replied tonelessly.

"Lady Rio?" Astral said tentatively.

Rio sat back on her heels. "Yes?"

"When you're finished with the fire, may I speak with you about your journey?"

She tilted her head and frowned for a moment. "Yes, of course."

Astral looked over at Ryoga. "Captain, I think Yuma needs to speak with you."

Ryoga nodded slowly. "I thought he might," he murmured to himself, and Astral wondered if Ryoga intended anyone to hear as he approached Yuma, settling against a rock next to him. He couldn't hear what they were saying, but it didn't really matter. What they had to say was between them.

Rio finished sparking the fire and went to work getting it rolling, chatting aimlessly about their time since splitting up with Astral and his group. She would get to some points and pause, and Astral wondered how much she was holding back, and why. It didn't make sense, why they had spent so long at the Shrine, nor did he quite understand how Ryoga came by such a fine lance.

But the news that Kaito Tenjo had sold his soul to the Barians was alarming, no matter how much Rio insisted that Kaito was on their side. How much could a man who would betray his own kingdom – his own race – be trusted? She didn't seem to know why or how Kaito had done it. Astral couldn't think of any reason that could justify someone giving themselves to the Barians.

Every so often, Astral would glance at Yuma and Ryoga, who were sitting close together, Ryoga explaining something while Yuma nodded slowly at the ground; other times, Astral would catch them pointing at the sky, tracing their fingers through the air, and they would be smiling.

"I haven't seen him smile in a long time," Rio murmured, catching Astral watching them.

"It's nice," Astral said quietly. "Yuma told me how the captain taught him the stars."

Rio laughed. "Funny, Ryoga was always under the impression that Yuma was too engrossed in how they looked to remember anything he said about them." She prodded the fire. "I'm starving, but I don't think there's much to eat out here."

"Maybe Lady Cathy will be able to assist. She lived for many years on her own." Astral stood. "I'll go ask her to see if she can find any food for us."

Rio nodded as Astral walked toward Cathy's tree. As he passed Ryoga and Yuma, Yuma grabbed his sleeve. "Astral, Ryoga and I are going to collect some wild berries. We'll be nearby in case… you need us."

Astral met Yuma's eyes, and knew.

"Of course," Astral said gently. "Watch out for snakes."

Yuma gave Astral a quick smile and Ryoga followed Yuma to his feet, eyes narrowed as he followed Yuma out of the camp.

"Prince Astral?" Kotori said sleepily. He hadn't heard her approach. "Where are they going?"

Astral hesitated for a heartbeat. "To gather berries."

Kotori stifled a yawn. "Do we have nothing to eat?"

"I was about to get Cathy to help get food. I think Lady Rio would enjoy your company, however."

"Yeah." Kotori smiled. She gave Astral a small hug, and he patted her on the back. "I'm glad we're all back together."

"So am I."

We never should have split up in the first place.

Ryoga glanced at the fire flickering a little ways off. They were so exposed here, on the edge of the Waste. Yuma had no intention of gathering berries, which was obvious from the way he picked a blackberry off a bush and ate it instead of putting it in a bag. Yuma hadn't even brought a bag. "What is it that you couldn't say back there?"

Yuma looked at the ground and swallowed the berry. "How did you find us?"

This question could have been addressed without dragging him this far from the warmth and safety of their fire. "Kaito."

"You trust him? A man with a Barian's Eye?"

That same question had plagued Ryoga for the past week. But Kaito had proven that he wasn't a liar, if nothing else. "Yes. And my trust is not easily gained, you know that."

There was no response, and Ryoga frowned again. "Yuma, what's really bothering you? Are you feeling all right?"

"I'm fine," Yuma said, too quickly to be convincing.

Ryoga reached out and gripped Yuma tightly by the shoulder. Yuma tensed up.

"No, you're not all right. What's wrong?"

Yuma winced. "I don't want to burden you with it."

"Take off your shirt."

"I… what?"

Ryoga gestured with his finger. "Remove your shirt and turn around."

Yuma slowly turned, eyes squeezed shut as he gingerly peeled his shirt from his back. Ryoga let out a low hiss when he saw the angry red scars crisscrossing Yuma's back. "Those bastards."

"Don't be angry with Durbe, Ryoga." Yuma shivered slightly in the cool, dry air.

"Why the hell should I want anything less than to feel my weapon pierce his chest?"

"I don't think he wanted to do it. He argued with Vector a lot. I heard it. Vector thought he didn't have the heart to do what needed to be done."

"I don't give a damn. He still did it. If he had a shred of decency – which he doesn't – he wouldn't have done it."

"I knew you would react this way. That's why I didn't want you to know about this."

"You were going to keep this from me?" Ryoga's face was lined in fury. "You have the most misguided trust in people of anyone I've ever met."

"He kept my family alive even though Vector was going to kill them."

Ryoga wondered if now would be a good time to tell Yuma that his sister had been forced to marry into the Arclight family. Worse still, she had been forced to swear a blood oath to remain loyal to Arclight, and by proxy, the Barians. Swearing a blood oath to the Barians might damn her. Breaking one would damn her for sure.

No, Yuma didn't need to know that. The Barians had hurt him enough without having to know that his sister had been dragged into this as well.

Still, something didn't make sense. The wounds on Yuma's back were severe. Ryoga had seen men succumb to far less from a Barian weapon, yet Yuma barely seemed in any pain from it.

"I don't want to talk about this," Yuma said. "I wanted to say something else."

"What could possibly be more important than discussing the Barians?"

Yuma glanced back toward the dim fire in the scraggly treeline and licked his lips. "I wanted to thank you."

"You just did."

"Not just for saving me." Yuma smiled weakly. "Though I am grateful for that. But it's for something you taught me a long time ago."

"Yuma-"

Yuma placed his finger on Ryoga's lips, cutting off the annoyed response. "No, listen to me. Once, you told me that people were counting on me. That my kattobing spirit would help others. That was the only thing that got me through that ordeal. The only thing. I was going to give up, to die, and to give Durbe what he wanted in exchange for a quick death. But people were counting on me. Not just Prince Astral. Not just Cathy and Kotori. But you too."

Ryoga opened his mouth again but froze when Yuma's finger slid from his lips to his face.

"I had a lot of time to think about my life when I was there," Yuma whispered, brows furrowed in thought. "About what I did in life. About what I wish I had done."

A strange burning filled Ryoga's chest as Yuma's fingers tangled in his hair. He forced himself to take steadying breaths. This couldn't be happening. He didn't want it to happen. He was a Dragoon, a captain, and Yuma was his subordinate.

Or he was, in another life.

Their lips met, tentatively at first, but as Yuma wound his fingers through Ryoga's hair, Ryoga's hands pressed against Yuma's bare chest and slid down to his waist as he tasted blackberries on Yuma's lips. He moved closer, and their lips pressed harder, more urgently together, noses squishing together awkwardly. Neither cared.

Ryoga knew, at the back of his mind, that he shouldn't continue this. It was wrong, it was all wrong. It went against everything he had been taught, everything he believed was right, and he felt the shame of it all.

But the burning in his chest, spreading through his body like wildfire, was so hard to fight, and that scared him more than anything. This couldn't go on.

After what felt an eternity, he managed to lift his hands from Yuma's waist and placed them back on his chest, gently pushing Yuma away. Yuma breathed raggedly and ran a hand across his own face.

"I'm so sorry."

Ryoga shook his head and swallowed. The tart blackberry juice that had lingered on Yuma's lips now lingered on his tongue. "I wish…" He closed his eyes and let out a quiet, hollow laugh. "I can't let… we can't let this happen again. It's improper."

"Because you're my captain."

"Because you're a man."

Yuma glanced up, surprised. Ryoga looked down at the ground.

"Does that…" Yuma let out a low breath. Confusion gave way to reluctant acceptance. "I see."

"Rio and I are the last of our race. It falls to us to either save or damn ourselves." He remembered Mara, as he did so often lately, and the twins she had carried in her when she died, and felt a stab of regret. It was important for Yuma to understand the situation. "I can't let myself get involved with someone who can't…"

"Someone who can't bear a child."

"Please understand."

"I do. I regret my forwardness. Forgive me."

"You have done nothing to ask my forgiveness for."

Ryoga helped Yuma put the shirt over the welts on his back and they walked back to the camp, picking a few handfuls of blackberries on the way. Cathy was gone, which meant it would be a few hours yet until dinner was prepared, but that gave them ample time to rest in the meantime. Yuma settled next to Astral and Ryoga returned to Rio on the other side of the fire. He let out a slow, deep breath.

"What did he want?" Rio glanced at her brother.

"We were picking blackberries."

He could practically hear her roll her eyes. "What did he really want?"

Ryoga hesitated for a moment. "To thank me."

Rio raised an eyebrow. "I can't imagine why anyone would want to thank you for anything."

Ryoga watched Yuma speak to Astral, a relaxed look on his face. Ryoga understood. Despite Ryoga not returning his feelings, he must have felt a great deal more content with his decision to tell Ryoga what he felt.

"It must have been quite a heartfelt thank you."

"Why do you say that?"

"You were gone for a while." Rio smiled shrewdly and leaned back on her blanket.

Ryoga glanced at Yuma for a second longer before following suit and lying on his own blanket. "I shouldn't have let it get as heartfelt as it did."

"Our race is doomed, Ryoga. I wish you would see that. The two of us are twenty-four years old, which is already much later than was expected of us to start having children, and the chance of any offspring we produce having the ability is too slim for it to make any difference."

"I don't want to discuss this with you again."

She leaned over and placed her hand on his cheek. His jaw tightened. "Ryoga, don't be so determined to be unhappy."

"My race is nearly extinct, my king and queen are dead, my kingdom has been taken over by demons, and we're being hunted every day. I can't help but be unhappy." He turned his back on her and closed his eyes. "Get a few minutes in while we're waiting for Cathy to return."

He heard her sigh quietly before she followed suit.