Chapter 25:
Qahnaarin
The dry earth crunched beneath their boots as they made their way across the Boneyard. They walked in silence until they had almost reached the entrance.
"I'm glad we found the scroll," said Serana, gesturing the scroll container now slung across Emily's back, "But I, I wish she could come with us."
"We will return for her," Emily replied, "As soon as this prophecy is well and truly stopped. But, there's something that puzzles me."
"What?" asked Serana.
"How has she been able to survive here all this time?" Emily asked, "I mean, only the undead live here so no blood."
"Time doesn't flow here in the same way as it does back on Nirn," Serana replied, "Oblivion is a place that doesn't follow the rules the Aedra, that is the gods, set in motion."
"I think when we find a library I need to read up some more on all this," said Emily, "It's kind of staggering when I think of it. No human, I mean, no earthling has ever set foot outside their own world before, let alone into another world within another world."
"Well, I think you'll get your chance," Serana replied, "I've been giving it some thought, the other scroll I mean. I think the College is where we need to go next. To find any information we can regarding the scrolls."
"Well, at least I won't feel the cold this time," said Emily as they pushed open the large doors and stepped through. On the far side they found the great scaly green dragon waiting for them. His head and wings had been repaired during his regeneration and he regarded them as he perched atop the stones. Emily brandished the staff of firebolt and Serana readied a lightning spell on her palm.
"Stay your weapons," said Durnehviir in loud booming tones, "I would speak with you, Qahnaarin."
"How are you still alive?" Emily asked, lowering her staff. Durnehviir shook his great head, more of the slime dripping from his maw and spattering the ground.
"Cursed, not alive," he said, "Doomed to spend eternity in this form, straddling the line between laas and dinok, life and death."
"Why are we speaking?" Emily asked, "I thought you wanted to kill us."
"I was bound by an oath to slay you," Durnehviir replied, "As for why we are speaking, I have slain many in my time, rendered the flesh from innumerable foes but never have I myself fallen in battle." The dragon turned his head to see her better. "I therefore honour-name you Qahnaarin which means 'Vanquisher' in your tongue and I find your ears worthy of my words."
"I found you equally worthy," Emily replied. It seemed the most reasonable response to her and harkened back to the fantasy novels she once read.
"Your words do me great honour," said Durnehviir, bowing his scaly head, "It is because of our battle that I wish to speak with you, to respectfully ask a favour."
"What kind of a favour?" Emily asked.
"Long have I served unwillingly in the Soul Cairn," Durnehviir explained, "But before this I roamed the skies of Tamriel. I desire to return there."
"Why can't you?" Emily asked. The dragon once again shook his scaly head.
"I have remained here too long," he replied, "I share a bond with this dreaded place as is what happens to any living soul who ventures here. If I were to leave my strength would wane until I was no more."
"But, how can I help?" asked Emily.
"I will place my name with you, Qahnaarin," Durnehviir replied, "And grant you the right to call my name from Tamriel and I will fight at your side as your Grah-Zeymahzin, your ally, and teach you my Thu'um."
"But, how will calling your name bring you to Tamriel?" Emily asked.
"Dragon names contain great power, power enough to breach the barriers of this place and call me forth," Durnehviir explained.
"How did you end up here?" Emily asked, gesturing to the dark featureless landscape.
"Long ago I called Tamriel my home and during that time the other dovah vied for slices of territory, resulting in violent and often fatal battles," Durnehviir explained.
"And you were a part of all that?" Emily asked.
"I was," Durnehviir replied, "But unlike my brethren I sought other means to dominate and control. I took the forbidden path of Alok-Dilon, or necromancy as you know it."
"And let me guess, you sought the Soul Cairn for answers," said Serana. Durnehviir nodded.
"I did," he replied, "The ideal masters told me my powers would be unmatched if I agreed to serve as keeper until the death of the one known as Valerica."
"But they didn't tell you she was immortal," Serana said, "That sounds just like them."
"Indeed, I was tricked," he replied, "I learned too late that the Ideal Masters favour deceit over honour and had no intention of releasing me. But though they possessed my mind they could not possess my soul."
"Is that why you're free now?" Emily asked. Durnehviir shook his head sorrowfully.
"Free? No, I have been here too long Qahnaarin," he replied, "The Soul Cairn is a part of who I am now and if I strayed outside it for too long I would surely perish. I only hope you will allow me the brief moments of freedom through your call."
"Why do you call me that?" Emily asked, "Qahnaarin."
"In my language the Qahnaarin is the Vanquisher, the one who has bested another dovah in battle." Durnehviir explained.
"Another dovah?" said Emily, "But I'm no dragon."
"Forgive me, Qahaarin," replied Durnehviir with a hint of amusement, "It was my instinct to grant you the title. Perhaps the reason will become clear to us in time."
"Perhaps," Emily replied.
Arvak was waiting for them at the bottom of the stone steps. He seemed unperturbed by the dragon's presence and merely tossed his blue fiery mane, impatient to get moving. Emily and Serana climbed up onto his back and they raced off down the track, leaving the Boneyard behind. Across the dead featureless plains they rode, through the towering black archways and over hillocks scattered with bones of the less fortunate. They saw the beckoning light of the portal ahead of them and Emily urged Arvak onward.
They stopped at the foot of the steps that led up to it and dismounted.
"We'll summon you again when we reach the mainland," Emily reassured the skeletal horse, stroking his nose. He fixed her with bright eyes and nuzzled her head, whinnying softly. Emily turned back to the portal. Soon she would be back on Nirn, a space preferable to the Soul Cairn. It wasn't Earth but at least it was alive.
They climbed the steps and as they reached the top Emily felt her boots leave the ground, taking her up into the light of the portal.
They emerged through the portal and their boots alighted on the bottom step of the porta. Finn awaited them at the top step but rather than taking his usual place atop Emily's shoulders he seemed content to follow them as they left the laboratory. Emily glanced at her watch. Assuming their time in the Soul Cairn had not messed with the gears and cogs that made up the tiny device, it was currently a little three in the morning. Emily walked briskly down the corridors. Their boots echoed in the narrow passages and large chambers. They reached the courtyard and Emily made a beeline for the door that led to the Undercroft and from there to the harbour and their boat.
She felt unease settling in over her as they walked down the stone steps that took them to the boat and Emily climbed in.
"Are you alright?" Serana asked her as she sat down next to her. Finn was curled up in the bottom of the boat as they guided the boat out from the harbour. Emily nodded but said nothing.
"Are you sure?" she asked.
"I'm fine," Emily snapped, wishing a second later she hadn't. A silence hung over them now, a heavy silence, punctuated only by the sound of water hitting the sides of the boat. For a time Emily watched the approaching mainland. Her hands were shaking slightly as she heaved at the oars and her mouth felt dry. Taking deep breaths no longer helped and served only to add to her feelings of unease.
Then a scent struck her, starkly different from the brine of the sea and the sea air. It was a heavy smell, faintly metallic. It caught Emily's attention and she stopped rowing. It was coming from the mainland and seemed to set every muscle in her aquiver. It was unfamiliar and yet it drew her in. Serana noticed her companion had ceased rowing and now stared out to sea. Before she could say anything Emily stood up sharply and the boat tilted ominously.
"Emily, what are you doing?" she asked but Emily it seemed could not hear her. She made to reach for her but Emily leapt from the boat, causing it to rock violently, tossing up sea spray. As soon as she hit the water Emily began swimming in the direction of the smell as Serana called after her, sitting down and taking up the oars.
The cold of the sea did not bother her, nor did the salty water in her eyes and ears. She swam through the leaden grey sea towards the shore. Water dripped off her armour in rivulets as she surfaced on a small islet just off the coast. From where she was standing she could see the flickering light of a campfire. In the flickering firelight two people sat. Next to the campfire across a short wooden gangplank was what remained of a ship which had run aground. Its hull was buried in the coastline but the cabin seemed to be intact.
Emily slipped back into the water and swam around the side of the boat, her limbs moving with renewed vigour at the promise of what lay mere feet away. She pulled herself from the water and over the side of the boat, melding into the shadows cast by the cabin. From here she moved on silent tread, slipping around the corner of the cabin to the open doorway. Inside the cabin a man lay on a bedroll. His chest rose and fell and the gentle movements spoke of vulnerability. Emily quivered as she hovered over the sleeping man.
The piercing yells coming from the cabin caused those around the fire to leap to their feet, drawing their blades. They ran across the wooden gangplank to the cabin entrance. Three more emerged from the tent at the side of the campfire, tousle haired, eyes bright and alert.
As they peered into the gloom of the cabin they saw a sight that curdled their blood. Standing over their chief's lifeless body was a woman in blood spattered armour. It was in her hair and stained her lips as she turned bright red eyes on them. One of them dropped his blade and ran while the other advanced on the fledgling vampire. Her blade was still in her hands and she lunged at the man. He brought up his own blade, parrying the blow. It was then he heard a sickening gurgle and glanced over his shoulder, his heart hammering. There was another of the monsters standing over the body of one of the other men. She now faced down the remaining three. But he'd looked too long and he felt a heavy weight crash into him and fangs sink into his neck. He flailed but the vampiress hung on tightly and he began to feel his strength leave him as he collapsed to the deck.
Emily stood up hurriedly. She looked around at the campsite where she could see a body floating in the shallow waters. She saw Serana fighting off two more of the armoured men and when she moved to run towards her she nearly tripped on something at her feet. She looked down and stifled a scream at the sight of the man. His neck was torn open and blood spattered much of his body and pooled in the dirt. His eyes were blank, unseeing. Emily reach up and felt the blood still wet on her chin.
When the last man fell to Serana's blade she turned to see Emily standing on the deck of the ship, clutching at herself and staring out vacantly at the campsite. Serana crossed the spit of land to the gangplank. She glanced out over the sea at the lightening sky. Words seemed a little empty to her so she took Emily by the arm and led her into the cabin. Emily gave little resistance as she was led inside and made to sit on a pile of sailcloth sitting in the corner. Serana dragged the body of the bandit out of the cabin and cleaned her blade in the shallow waters before returning to where Emily sat. She was looking down at the ground and she didn't so much as flinch as Serana knelt down next to her. It was only when she felt Serana's hand on her shoulder that she moved. She looked over at Serana, red eyes meeting a pair that could have been a reflection. Emily bit her lip, fangs puncturing her skin as she squeezed her eyes shut. Tears began to well up and trickle down her cheeks, mingling with the blood.
"I killed them," she managed to stutter out, "I killed them. Innocents. I. I killed." Serana wasn't sure how exactly to reply so she rubbed her shoulder gently.
"What I did," she said, "What I did was…was evil. I'm…I'm evil."
"Emily, you weren't you when you did that," Serana replied, "I'd forgotten how intense the first feeding was. It wasn't your fault."
"That doesn't change what I did," Emily said bitterly.
"No," Serana conceded, "But the way you are now shows who you really are." Emily looked up at her. "You're not a bad person." More tears leaked from her eyes and when she broke down again she leant against Serana, crying into her cloak. Serana put her arms around her, letting her move closer as she continued to cry.
"I could've got you killed," she heard her say quietly, "I could've got you killed when I went…like that."
"Nonsense," Serana replied, "I was more worried about you." Emily dabbed at her eyes, sitting up shakily. "You'll be alright," Serana continued.
"Will it be like this every time I have to feed?" Emily asked, a note of apprehension evident in her voice. Serana shook her head.
"You'll be able to control the thirst in time," she replied, "The first time is always the most…intense." She got up and picked up a bucket which lay near the back leaving the cabin to fill it with seawater before setting it down in front of Emily. Emily washed the blood from her face and her hair. Her armour was still wringing wet so Serana handed her the vampire armour they'd picked up in the castle.
"I'll hang this up to dry," she said as she got up, one hand lingering on Emily's shoulder for a moment. Then she left the cabin, carrying the wet armour. It all seemed so strange, hanging out armour to dry as though it were the most normal thing in the world while the campsite was littered with the bodies dead by her own hand or Serana's. Emily put her head in her hands.
"I need to atone for this," she said quietly, "Somehow I need to." She felt tiny paws grabbing at her fingers. Emily raised her head to see the little otter clinging to one of her fingers. He let go and crawled into her arms, nuzzling her chin and letting out a little squeak. Emily tickled him behind his ears and he nuzzled her fingertips. Emily allowed herself a small smile, burying her face in his fur.
Serana re-joined them in the cabin, sitting down on the sailcloth. "The sun will be up soon," she said, "Remember, you can't go out in it or-."
"It'll kill me," Emily replied quietly, "I know." Serana curled up in the corner of the cabin, taking her book from her bag and opening it. She flicked through the pages until she found the chapter where she'd left off. Once in a while she glanced over at the Earthling who still sat, watching the open doorway where sunlight was now creeping in.
"You should probably get some sleep," she said, "The days can feel awfully long otherwise."
Emily lay down on the sailcloth beside her a moment later and Finn curled up between them, putting his paws over his nose.
"Serana," Emily asked her as she watched her from her place on the sailcloth.
"Yes?" Serana replied.
"When you were in Dimhollow, were you awake in that sarcophagus?" Emily asked.
"No," Serana replied, "Not for most of it anyway. I was… 'hibernating' for lack of a better word. I woke up occasionally, once every few hundred years, but only for a few minutes at most."
"It's a good job you weren't an insomniac," said Emily. Serana raised an eyebrow.
"A what?" she asked.
"Someone who has difficulty sleeping," Emily explained, "I used to have insomnia when I was a kid. My mum had an awful time trying to get me to sleep."
"What were your parents like, Emily?" Serana asked.
"My mum's a nurse," Emily replied, "Y'know, like a healer and my dad's an IT technician." She chuckled, "There's no real Skyrim equivalent. He worked with earth tech, computers."
"What were computers used for?" Serana asked.
"Many things," Emily replied, "Finding information, writing letters and books, talking to people, playing videogames, things like that."
"Did you get along with your parents?" Serana asked, edging a little closer.
"Most of the time," Emily replied with a smile.
"Do you miss them?" Serana asked. Emily nodded.
"Yeah, yeah I miss them," she replied. After several minutes Serana returned to her book. She turned another page. Outside the wind had picked up and rain was now bouncing off the wooden roof of the cabin, the rhythmic drumming lending the atmosphere in the cabin a calming air.
"I'm glad you're here with me," said Emily, "I'm glad I'm not going through this alone."
"If I wasn't here you wouldn't be going through this at all," Serana reminded her, "You'd still be mortal for a start."
"I wouldn't be so sure of that," Emily replied, "You're not the only vampire in Skyrim, y'know." She leant up on her elbows, "And I don't exactly have the greatest track record for avoiding conflicts with vampires," she continued, "That's how I wound up working for the Dawnguard, remember?" She looked up at vampiress. "No, I'd probably have run into some other vampire sooner or later," she said, "And they wouldn't have been anywhere near as friendly." Serana allowed herself a small smile.
"Maybe," she conceded.
After a time Emily began to see what Serana meant about the length of the days. Even though the sun was hidden behind a bank of cloud she could not risk setting foot outside. The same four walls offered little to do and sleep became a much more viable option. She curled up tighter into the sailcloth, willing herself to fall asleep.
The rain had long since stopped and the moons had risen above the horizon when Emily stirred from the sailcloth. She looked around the cabin and the events from before hit her like a sledgehammer. The wooden floorboards on the opposite sides of the cabin were plastered with congealed blood and she knew that beyond the wooden walls there lay the bodies of men, at least one of which was dead by her hands. She'd killed before, she realised with a sickening feeling, but somehow that hadn't seemed like the same thing. They'd been draugr, undead beings raised by magic or other means so perhaps that was different. She'd killed vampires too. But now she was one, lying in the company of another, one she called her friend, possibly even her best friend. What separated those vampires she'd killed from her other than who they aligned themselves with?
She heard the sailcloth shift as Serana sat up and stretched.
"Ready to go?" she asked.
"Yeah, I'm ready," Emily replied. Serana handed her a small red bottle.
"What is this?" she asked, uncorking it. The smell coming from the bottle told her the answer before Serana replied.
"It's blood," she said, "It'll help stave off the thirst for the night." Emily took a swig from the bottle and almost retched at the thought of what she was drinking. What repulsed her even more was the fact that she found she enjoyed the taste. When the bottle had been emptied she handed it back to Serana. The thirst was indeed gone and they left the cabin, crossing the wooden gangplank to the campsite. Here Emily summoned Arvak and the horse appeared before her in a billow of purple flame. They got on his back and rode off across the coast.
They followed the coastline, riding between the corpulent bodies of the horkers who were sprawled out along the beach, great sides heaving as they slept. They crossed shallow waters and rode past wooden crates washed up on the beach. Ahead Emily saw the towering archway which housed the city of Solitude. It seemed like a lifetime ago since she'd last set foot within the walls. A sudden thought occurred to her.
"Serana," she asked as they rode, "Do you think we could stop off at Solitude on the way to the college?"
"What for?" asked Serana.
"I want to visit the temple," Emily replied.
"You know they can't cure vampirism, don't you?" said Serana. They rode around the headland where they joined the cobblestone road that would take them up towards the city.
"I know," Emily replied, "I've heard people mention the gods of this world before, the divines, and I thought maybe I should seek their guidance."
"Alright," she said, "I'll wait for you at the Inn then. I'm not good with temples."
It was just after midnight when they reached the city of Solitude. Emily had borrowed Serana's hood and pulled it up over her head as they entered the city. When she last entered the city she had been a woman of flesh and blood, alive and breathing and when she'd last been seen it had been when vampires stormed the city and captured some of the citizens. Her appearance might raise awkward questions not easily answered.
She passed by Angeline's Aromatics and followed the stone slope from the marketplace up towards Castle Dour. Two soldiers guarded the entrance while another warmed himself on the fire pit that stood at the centre of the courtyard. She had never visited the temple of the Divines but she'd seen the monks go up into this courtyard and follow the stone steps up towards the temple. She climbed these steps now, following them up towards the tall impressive edifice that was the temple. It had large stained glass windows lit from the inside by candles placed at the windows. She followed the stone walkway around to the main doors. Her hand hesitated inches from the door handle. Could vampires pass through these doors? Perhaps standing on hallowed ground would cause her physical pain. But Serana hadn't seemed that phased by her decision, merely wishing to stay out of it.
Emily pushed open the doors and stepped into the dimly lit antechamber. From the chamber below she could hear the chanting of the monks as she closed the door behind her. There were candles on many of the surfaces and they lit the set of stairs that led down to the floor below. Emily descended the stairs and found herself in a large chamber which was well lit at one end. Beneath these lights she saw a series of pedestals and on these pedestals were various statues of differing shapes and sizes. On one there was a dragon with a sword sticking into its open maw and on another was the carved face of a woman encircled within stone carvings reminiscent of the celtic style. Emily found herself conflicted. She did not know all of these divines by names or which statue belonged to which divine. She had heard Tolan mention Stendarr, god of mercy and righteous might and on one occasion he had mentioned Arkay, god of life and death but the others were unknown to her. So she knelt before the shrines.
"Divines," she said, "Though I am an outsider in your lands I seek your guidance for I have sinned. I have killed for personal gain whether or not I was aware of my actions at the time and I beg your help. Please show me what to do and how I can repent for my sins." She bowed her head before the shrines before standing up. She reached into her purse and pulled out a handful of coins. At each of the shrines she left a gold coin. One of the shrines appeared to be empty, bearing no statue but she left a coin on the empty stone nonetheless.
Emily left the temple and descended the stone steps, passing through the courtyard to the walkway. The city was quiet save for the guards patrolling the streets. They paid little attention to her as she walked past, making a beeline for the Inn.
She slipped in through the door and peered around the stone pillar into the main hall. Serana had taken a table near the corner and when Emily spotted her she waved over to her.
"Are you alright?" she asked as Emily sat down, "I noticed you were quiet this evening."
"I'll be alright," Emily replied.
"We should probably get going," Serana said, getting up from the table, "We could make it as far as Dragon Bridge before the night is over." Emily followed her out of the Inn and along the street to the town gates. The guards took little notice as they passed through the tall gates and followed the cobblestone road down to where they left Arvak. They had tied him to a rock pillar out of sight of the locals. They both figured that the sight of a skeleton horse with a mane of fire might spook the locals just a little. Arvak was waiting patiently when they arrived and when they had both climbed up onto his back they took off along the cobblestone road towards Dragon Bridge.