February 9th, 1945

Hagenau, France

We were all not looking too good, sitting in the Platoon trucks and riding into the town in France with the bitter cold going against us and hitting us hard like bricks. We all didn't want to be there, not in the cold again and with the past soldiers who fell haunting us behind closed eyes. I sat in the truck with Eugene next to me, clutching my hand tightly and watching me as I was zoning out again, thinking back to the dead soldier that I killed back in Foye. His face, how he breathed out one last time, and how he fell to the floor, was a permanent play by play.

I didn't talk about it, nor did Eugene. We just walked back to base with Spiers, whom also kept his mouth shut as the others saw us and how we looked. I had new bloody cuts on my face and bruises on my jawline and neck, Eugene with a black eye and busted lower lip, and they were beyond shocked. I knew they were going to ask, but one look from me had them all go quiet. Even Joe didn't say anything, but I knew he was heated. The deed was done: I killed a man to defend Eugene. But I knew I should be okay with it, though my own head was telling me that I was a murderer.

So now we were riding along into the new area. I was in an platoon truck with some of the men, my brother in another truck with Malarky and some others. We were rolling by the deserted town, people walking alongside us and saying nothing as I was just trying to breathe without having a breakdown on my hands. Nothing was making sense anymore, nothing good or honest to be fair. All I had now was Eugene and him holding my hand in between us. He was the only sense of warmth I had left since he held me the whole time I was crying after the fight, not giving me criticism or pain about it. I never can find someone else like him to be fair, and I knew I didn't deserve him at all.

"Chere." Eugene said to me softly, having me look up and over at him on my right, seeing his eyes pouring into my own. The black eye had was slowing melting away, although there were traces there still lingering in his pale skin and his lip was healing. Even when he stole a kiss from me once or twice to bring me healing, I couldn't tell if it was bothering him or not. Eugene was still good to me, always staying next to me and speaking up for me when I wanted to be silent. What a knight and shining armor.

"You up for the meeting with Spina and the other Medics?" He asked me gently, having me smile slightly and nod my head at him, then seeing a small grin back on his face. He was looking up with the situation at hand, and all I was trying to do was breathe.

"Liebste," I paused, seeing him watch me as I then took in a shaky breath, "I have to tell the other men….I have to tell them about the Epilepsy."

"And you wanna tell them now?" He asked me carefully, not clearly understanding why I wanted to tell them at this moment. I never fulfilled my end of the deal with Winters when it came to telling Easy Company about my Epilepsy, merely because I almost died from an aerial attack on the Aid Station. So now it seemed to be a better time, though we all felt like killing ourselves by trying to recover from both Bastogne and Foy. I didn't blame the men for being crabby with each other, I was doing the same too.

"Better now than never." I replied with a shrug of my shoulders, having me see him look ahead at the both of us, having me see Bull, Sisk and Shifty sitting across from us and not paying attention to us. Eugene then looked back at me now, a small look of concern was back on his face.

"After our meeting with the other medics, you wanna read some more tonight?" Eugene asked me with hope in his voice. I grinned now, it was small enough not to notice, but big enough to have me feel a small glimmer of hope within me that I haven't felt in days. He was trying to bring be back from going over the edge, from no longer being a moral compass. I nodded my head, seeing him squeeze my hand to give me a kiss in his own way because we couldn't do it out in the open. It was still a risk for us, since we both could be in deep shit if this was exposed to the rest of the men in our company.

"My knight in shining armor." I said to him softly, seeing him lean back a bit and scoot closer to me, out knees and thigh touching along with our arms and shoulder blades. This was as close to hugging as we were going to get right now, and he was trying to hard to bring me some kind of comfort right now. I looked away from him again, breathing in deeply as I then saw someone walking over to us from the muddy ground. He was sporting his winter attire with the jacket combat gear and a big bag over his shoulders. It was his blue eyes that were crystal bright that made me smile big, because they belonged to my friend whom I haven't seen in months.

"Web?" I asked aloud, seeing the boy now look over at me with his own wide eyes and an open mouth in appreciation. He grinned at me, walking along out truck as I the leaned over the side to see him more. He looked good from coming away from the hospital, fresh and with nothing tainting him from being so kind.

"Heya Jem. You look like you've seen better days." He commented gently to me, though the others weren't looking a thin and just trying to keep themselves warm enough to get through the ride. I was just glad Webster was back, safe and around with nothing harming him and his foot looking better already. He must have seen the scars on my face, though from where he was they didn't look so detailed. I would have to tell him later what happened to me.

"And you look like a million bucks!" I replied back with a sarcastic remark and with a wink to give him. I have missed Webster, hearing his own chuckle here and there and how we would swap books with each other. It wasn't the same without my other half of the book club. He rearranged the bag on his shoulder as he was still walking along the truck I was on, his eyes never leaving me.

"What happened to you guys?" He asked in pure curiosity. He must have seen how we all looked worn out to the point of being broken, We all were colorless now, no longer filled with joy and eagerness to help the other.

"I don't know where to start." I replied back in a lower register, which was really true to be fair. There was no real way of telling him all that happened. He could see this on my face, his peppy step was slowing a bit now that he was realizing the gravity of our situation. I just stared back at him, a small smile on my face but it was still lowering the more we moved in the truck. Webster then pointed ahead to the truck in front of us, where I knew Joe and the rest of the boys were.

"I'll catch up with you later, I'm gonna see these guys." Webster explained having me nod once as he trotted off to get to the truck there. I sighed, leaning back against the boards behind me and looking ahead again. It was already bad enough that I had to put on a brave face to an old friend, so how hard was it going to be now that I had to tell the rest of the men about my Epilepsy? It made my head hurt all over again, the headache ripping through my skull and making me want to cringe out in pain.

"He has no idea, does he?" I looked up and I could see Bull looking at me, his eyes drilling into my own and he too lost the luster in his own bright eyes. Poor Webster, not having a single clue as to how we got out of Bastogne with only a small piece of our own humanity hanging in the balance. He thought we were back to our normal selves again, that nothing changed, but he was wrong.

Dead wrong.

"We are going to need every available Medic that we have here in this town to help with supply flow and to get ourselves prepped for the next checkpoint." A Head Medic from Bravo Company explained to us as we were shown a map of the surrounding areas. I was with Eugene and Spina, representing Easy as other medics were representing their own companies in a mass call for medical supply runs and the refreshing of new protocols and procedures. Since we were still going to have to get through the bitter cold in France, we were now going over to rules and regulations involved the wounds that could happen here: frostbite, colds and flues, trench foot, and anything else of that nature.

"There is a hospital just outside the city, and we going to have some of you work there to help with the overflow of patients and to also get more supplies that we will need in the future." The Head Medic went on with his rules and the regular routine that we were already aware off, telling us which medics from which company were going to go in tomorrow for the first shirt in the hospital work run. I tried to think back on the subject at hand, but my mind was still feeling so blank, so lost. Almost like I was frozen in time, and there was nothing that was going to pull me out of it.

"Tomorrow, Bravo will be going out to the hospital in the first rotation, and after that will be Easy, and the third day will be Delta. If we need more medics thereafter those three Companies served, then we will hire out some more." The Head Medic explained aloud, having me look back up again and notice that the meeting was done. I got up from the chair, popped by back and then threw the satchel strap over my shoulder. Spina, Eugene and I walked out together from the makeshift meeting room that we were into, back out into the muddy road and the bitter cold that was around the town. I could see, a bit away from us, a makeshift tent was propped up with steam coming from the inside. They were having the men shower, bit by bit. That sounded real nice: a shower. Maybe that's what I needed really.

"Just what we need, a hospital patrol." Spina commented with a hint of annoyance.

"You're not a fan of hospitals, Spina?" Eugene asked as we walked out together, having me look over at him to see his answer.

"Not really, which is ironic since I am a combat medic." Spina replied back, Eugene and I grinning at this point when we approached some of the men from our company who were talking in the middle of the road Johnny, Joe, Cobb, Babe and some others were talking about something under their breaths as we approached them.

"Heya boys." I said to them all as Spina walked away from us going over to talk with another Medic who was walking near us.

"How was the Medic pow-wow meeting?" Johnny asked me in a low tone, trying to sound nice, but something was eating away at him. I could tell. I shoved my hands in my jacket pockets as Eugene grabbed his satchel strap with his fingers.

"No big deal. We're on hospital runs from here on out. We have a shift tomorrow." Eugene explained for me as I could tell on all of their faces that something was going on, something that was making them pissed. I gave Joe a hesitant look, seeing him look angrier compared to the rest of the men.

"What happened with you guys?" I asked in a confused tone, seeing Joe roll his eyes before answering.

"We heard there are men that are going to be selected to go over the river tonight on a patrol, to grab some more German soldiers as prisoners." Joe explained in a cold tone, having both Eugene and I shift a bit uncomfortably in our spots with the news.

"Why would they want to do that now? Why not wait to get a real plan in motion?" I asked in utter annoyance at the whole thing.

"Who knows, but I betcha Webster knows who they want on the roster." Joe replied back, but this time there was a bit of a bite in his tone when he mentioned Webster. Something was going on with Webster and the other men, since they all looked colder when his name was brought into the conversation. I eyed them all, and now I wonder why Webster was now the name to hate.

"Wait a second, why are you talking about Webster like he broke a law or something?" I asked in annoyance now, shifting a bit in front of my twin and seeing him eye me back. I knew that eyeing look he was giving me, I've seen it plenty of times and I was ready for it now: He was ready for a fight.

"Jem, don't worry about it." He said in a lower register, clearly not wanting me to get in the middle of whatever the boys were thinking about when it came to Webster. But I shook my own head.

"Bullshit," I growled back at him, seeing the others in the group look at me now with a hint of fear in their eyes since this was a new side of me that they have never seen before, "For some reason ya'll have a vendetta against Webster ever since he came back with here in town. I want to know why."

"Because he waltzes in here on some mighty horse as if nothing happened since he left. He wasn't there when we froze our asses off and almost died in Bastogne." Joe replied flatly with me, no longer wanting to tip toe around it and just throw it out in the open. I glared at him now, since this to me was pure bullshit and there was no reason behind them giving him the death glare and the murmurs under their breaths. Webster had no reason for that to be placed on him. Of all people.

"And that gives you the right to treat him like utter shit? He did nothing wrong, and yet ya'll are looking at him and talking like he committed a crime." I countered back at him.

"Yeah well, he didn't rush back to the line like Popeye did, same with Joe Toye. He didn't do jack shit." Joe said back to me, his voice as getting a bit higher since he too was trying to keep his own voice down and anger at bay.

"So you're going to give him poor treatment because he didn't suffer with us? Way to treat your fellow soldier in your Company with some decency. I expected more from my brother." I yelled at him at this point, having me then feel Eugene grab my jacket gently between his fingers to almost give me a sign to calm down. But no, Joe and the boys there in front of me were making me mad.

I was mad when Toye and Bill lost their legs, I was mad that Alice died from the explosion, I was mad that my own seizures were getting the best of me, and I was mad that the German Soldier saw me as a piece of meat, almost killing Eugene and I. But now, I was furious at my own men, my own brothers.

"Way to be our moral compass." Joe snarled back at me, giving me the death glare once again as I saw the other men go quiet from what was happening. I shook my head then, making fists with my hands now.

"Oh okay, fine. Let me be your moral compass right now: Get whatever is crawling up your ass out of there and get over the fact that Webster didn't die with the rest of us out there in the fucking snow! Grow the fuck up!" I yelled at him and the men there, my voice booming in front of him now and he said nothing. I then move away from the men and walk away without giving them all a second glance. Eugene walked on with me though I was fuming with the fact that Webster was getting hate for no reason at all. It wasn't right nor fair, and I felt as though I could punch a wall.

"Hey, hang on Jemima." Eugene said softly to me, grabbing my jacket again and I could feel the hotness of his fingers through my jacket and hitting my skin hard. I slowed then, facing one of the buildings and drawing out a shaky breath before I fumbled with my nimble fingers to get out the medication that I needed within that moment. I could feel a seizure coming over me pretty soon, but I wanted to stop it before it began. However, my fingers were too slick with sweat from my anger that I couldn't get the flap open.

"Here." Eugene said softly, grabbing my fingers within his own to move them away. He reached into my flap with a swift manner, grabbing my pills within his hand and pulling them out carefully. I watched as he unscrewed the top of the bottle, getting the lid off and then grabbing one pill to hold in his hand. I took the pill carefully with my shaky hand, then seeing him screw the bottle shut and place it back in my bag as I popped the pill in my mouth.

"Take a drink." Eugene instructed. Although I wanted to not be looked after at this point, I was just glad that Eugene was willing to help out with me. He handed me his canteen, already opened and I took a long drink.

"Thanks." I merely thanked him, seeing him smile as he took his canteen from my hands.

"Don't want you to have another episode, and I know what you said to your brother wasn't worth the seizure. He'll come around, they all will." Eugene explained to me carefully as I looked at him now, seeing that he was giving me a caring look. He never wanted me to lash out against my own brother. He just smiled at me, grabbing my hand carefully and having our fingers touch, almost lacing together when we heard something going off in the distance, it was big enough that it shook the ground we were on. Both Eugene and I snapped our heads over to the sound of one of the buildings falling to our left, down the street and the bricks flying down from the sky like they were snowflakes. Within a moment, we both started to run, past Joe and the rest of the men who were standing around each other. We were back in medic mode, running as fast as our legs could carry us. Even though we both were still recovering from the assault from the German soldier mere days before, the way we ran showed no sign of recovery.

By the time we made it there, it was of no use. Eugene knelt down next to the body of the soldier who fell, his face already showing no life and I just stood over him. The other joined us as we all looked the soldier whom was alive for one second, and was gone the next. I just sighed, looking away from the soldier to the small patch of an island that was our next target when the night came along. For a second, I wanted to find any kind of bomb I can get my hands on and just blow the island up to pieces.

That would make me sleep at night.

I was already sitting in the makeshift bed that was my bunk for the time being while we were in the town. I chose to sleep away from the men, as usual since it was such a gender issue, and I also had to clear my own thoughts from all that I went through these past few days. My room was two rooms down from the rest of the guys, nothing in there but a dresser and a battered rug on the floor. Even inside was still cold as hell and I was still freezing my ass off. Still, it was better than a foxhole. So it was such a coincidence when Malarky walked into my room with a knock of the door with his knuckles. Looking up, I saw the beard he was wearing now, not to mention how skinny he got since we left Foye. It made me worry since he was no longer cheery. Like the rest of the men, he was being plagued from what happened in the past. For him: Muck and Penkala.

"Hey, Jem. You know about tonight?" He asked me, leaning against the door frame.

"I heard about it: you guys going on a patrol tonight across the river?" I voiced to him to get it right. He nodded his head.

"They want me to take fifteen men, and I'm considering one of them being your brother." He explained, having me watch him carefully. He wanted my brother to go, which should be no big deal but then again you never know these days if someone was going to come out alive anymore from a simple routine of going across a river.

"From what I gathered, he's so happy about it." I sarcastically explained to him.

"I don't blame him. Anyways, we need a German Translator with us and he was first one on the list. They were also considering having a medic come along, just in case something goes south," He voiced, though I could feel the hint go rejections wanting to come out of my throat, "However, after talking about it some more, they don't want to risk another medic getting hurt because of what happened to you. So they're keeping the medics here and you'll come to our aid with the signal."

"Sounds fair enough." I replied to him.

"I'll fill you in on the plan some more, but I wanted to give you a heads up before we go through with it. You get a breather for once, how nice were they to give you one eh?" Malarky asked in almost a cocky grin. I laughed a bit.

"What nice bastards they are. Although, these days I'm a walking mess and I doubt they would have wanted me to be there with you boys any who." I joked though the last part sounded a bit bitter on my own end. Was what I was saying right? Was I getting too messed up to even go out on patrol with them? Was Winters making me stay behind on purpose? I shook it off, thinking that my mind was playing tricks on me again. Malarky was quiet then, giving me what looked like those puppy dog eyes he would bust out once or twice, before shrugging them off and them clearing his throat.

"I also wanted to talk to you about the shower. They're open now, you wanna go shower?" He asked me aloud from the door. I raised an eyebrow at him from my spot on the cot.

"As flattered as I am with that thought, I wouldn't like to shower with you." I replied to him, seeing him chuckle as I grinned at him.

"Don't flatter yourself, although that is a wee bit tempting. The showers are empty and you can go in and take one." Malarky explained to me though I wasn't jumping up with joy at the mere thought of being alone in the shower. Since I was attacked by the German days before, I had no real thirst to being alone since it made me jumpy. I hesitated in my spot on the cot, Malarky watching me with his dark eyes though he stayed still.

"Not real excited to be there alone." I admitted in a small tone, almost shaky since I remembered the last time I was alone: I was attacked. Now it scared me, though it seemed silly. Malarky paused, then seeing what I was saying and then shrugging his shoulders with his hands in his pockets.

"I'll watch the front for you, and we can get someone else there to make sure you have your privacy." Malarky reassured me, "And with this promotion, they can't say no to me. Nor to you, Sergeant. I promise, Jem, nothing's gonna happen to you with me around. Okay?" I grinned at him. I never gave Malarky enough credit as a friend or mine, or any of the men for that matter. He always made sure I was okay, he could be my own moral compass from time to time. I had a weak spot for the redhead, since he was the one who found me after we landed in Germany and protected me up until we found the others. I then slowly started to get up from my spot as someone else pop into the doorway. Malarky and I looked, having me see a new face to the Company. He was cleaner shaved, looking so young and yet like he carried himself. He was taller than Malarky, looking at him with curiosity in his eyes. Though from what I am seeing with Malarky, he wasn't too pleased to see this guy.

"Sir, I've been looking for you to talk abut tonight and the plan." He said to Malarky, sounding so informative as he then looked over at me, wide eyed as I stared back at him. He must have been taken by surprise from what he was seeing: A female Sergeant Combat Medic who was scarred up on her face and hands and with a male haircut. This guys looked young, almost like he was fresh out of a magazine.

"I was talking to Sergeant Liebgott, one of our Combat Medics here in Easy. Jem, this is Lieutenant Jones." Malarky cooly replied as I grabbed my satchel and my peacoat to throw on. He even sounded preppy, too much for me really.

"I didn't mean to interrupt." Jones replied as I was moving past the two of them out of the room, already feeling awkward about the situation.

"No need, I was off taking a shower," I replied back to him casually, then looking over my shoulder at Malarky, "See you there in five?" I could hear nothing from either one of them as I was going down the stairs, heading to my shower and hopefully a refreshing time away from the rest of the men.

"She's a pistol, and you should meet her brother." I could hear Malaky tell him, having me smirk.

The hot water splashed over me like a rainfall, having me gasp in both relief and in a hint of pain from the prickling hot temperature hitting my body. As promised, Malarky and two others were guarding the tent for me since I was the last one to shower and I had all the time in the world. But as I stood in the shower, I could feel my eyes going over every scar that on my body. Most of them were from the incident at Foye, the deep cuts were now long lines and curved along my skin. The one scar that I knew was never going to leave me, that made me sick to my stomach and want to vomit, was the long thick line along my side from the explosion. It started at the bottom of my hip and moved up along my side to one of my middle ribs, thick and defining with my skin as I touched it carefully with my fingers. It was still red, a fresh scar that was contrasting against the paleness that was there and it was still healing. I wondered if I was ever going to me clean again.

My dog tags were still around my neck, and the Star of David pendant was there along the same chain, having me feel the cold metal against my hot skin when I felt more tears hit my skin from my eyes. This shower that bringing back all the haunting memories and the haunting pains that I tried to press away and forget. Bill and Toye losing their legs, Tipper being sent home and almost shambles because of the damage, Buck almost losing his own sanity, seeing the dark side of my twin brother with his view of the Germans, and plenty of other short memories. I remembered the battle in Carentan and how many times I barely escaped death, Operation Market Garden and how I was shot in the head but was saved by my helmet, having to dig out a bullet from Eugene's leg, the countless cold nights in Bastogne and of course almost being killed in Foye from the bomb going off.

I then thought of the deaths: Hobbler, Muck, Penkala, Julian, Alice, and countless others. Their faces filled my mind, their cries for help and how they were no longer alive to see the end of the war. That pushed me over the edge, since they were so young and so careful that they too were cheated by death. I felt more tears hit the floor but they were disguised with the shower water. It was pathetic, how I was crying in the shower by myself, naked and exposed for only myself to see how I was now no longer strong, not as strong as I once was. How many more days, weeks or months did I have to get through in order to get away from this shithole of a war? How much longer can I take? I just breathed in, the water washing my tears away and making me feel clean again. But I could never be clean, never again.

I woke up, hearing nothing at first, but the creaking of the room that I was in since the night was having a slow breeze coming through the area. I could breathe in the wood of the room, having me stay still in my cot with my knees bent and the arm jacket draped over me. After I showered, I went back to my cot to go read, but I ended up falling asleep. Now I figured it was late into the night, and some of our men were going on the patrol to the island to get the prisoners. It made me worry, was Joe going out there?

I felt like shit after I yelled at him. Sure he was a dick to Webster, but I knew he too was suffering from all that happened to us and he was just trying to get his own mind together from what was going on. I wanted to go find him, but I figured it was the middle of the night and I had no idea where he was.

A knock was at the doorway, having me look up and over from my spot. Someone walked into the room as I was still in my cot, not moving as I felt the cot dip from someone sitting there. As soon as they placed a gentle hand in my hair, I knew it was Eugene. I looked up at me, seeing him peer down at me and smile at me. I was still out of it to be around the other guys, and they could tell I needed space for myself and myself alone. But not Eugene, he was still willingly to sit next to me as he then grabbed the flap of his own satchel, fishing out a very thin book that only have at least 100 pages in it. It looked torn, almost about to give up on itself as he pointed to the book.

"Webster told me to give it to you before he went out on the patrol tonight. Want me to read it to you?" Eugene asked with hope in his voice. I nodded, moving back to the wall as Eugene settled on the cot with me, We both used my peacoat as a pillow as he then held up the book with one hand, the other hand around my shoulders to pull me to him. My arms automatically wrapped around his waist with my head in the crook of his neck as he tried to find some page.

"Where's the page….oh there it is." Eugene replied, seeing a particular page and holding it open as I got settled in his embrace. I breathed him in: smoke from outside, the spicy man scent that everyone wore on themselves, but his was different. It was almost soothing, like a soft rain. He also smelled of chocolate, for some reason since we were in Bastogne, he started to always smell like chocolate.

" 'It was many and many a year ago, In a kingdom by the sea, That a maiden there lived whom you may know by the name of Annabel Lee;- And this maiden she lived with no other thought, than to love and be loved by me. She was a child and I was a child, In this kingdom by the sea, but we loved with a love that was more than love- I and my Annabel Lee- With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven Coveted her and me.' " Eugene read, having me then look up at him since he was a bit higher than me on the cot.

"Are you trying to seduce me? What kind of book is this?" I asked him in wonder, seeing him grin and rub his knuckles against my arm.

"It's a poetry book." He simply replied, having me grin now from ear to ear from getting the feeling that he was trying to butter me up. I never took Eugene as that type of man, but then again he was always surprising me.

"And now you're a fan of poetry?" I asked him again, almost being cocky as he shrugged his shoulders.

"You want me to read to you or not?" He asked me, having me nod my head and then feel him kiss my head as he turned the page with his finger. I looked at the page he was on now, noticing that it was a bit dark now and he could hardly see. I then grabbed my satchel with one arm, pulling out the flashlight there to place it in my jacket pocket on the front. Turning on the light, I saw the page more clearly as Eugene read the next poem on the page:

" 'Bright star, would I were steadfast as thou art Not in lone splendour hung aloft the night, And watching, with eternal lids apart, Like nature's patient sleepless eremite, The moving waters at their priestlike task Of pure ablution round earth's human shores, Or gazing on the new soft-fallen mask Of snow upon the mountains and the moors; No yet still steadfast, still unchangeable, Pillow'd upon my fair love's ripening breast, To feel for ever its soft fall and swell, Awake for ever in a sweet unrest, Still, still to hear her tender-taken breath, And so live ever or else swoon to death.' " Eugene read, and for some reason, I loved hearing him read love poems. It sounded so beautiful coming from him, and yet it was also soothing. This was our routine together reading to each other with books that we found along the way in the war. My hold around his waist tightened slightly from hearing that poem, almost making feel a warm sensation coiling in my stomach.

"This one's my favorite," Eugene said to me softly as he moved a few pages over to find a new poem that I haven't seen before. His fingers against my arm still, wrapping around my skin carefully without hurting me as he leaned his head against my own. I could feel his lips against my forehead moving as he read the poem in almost a hum.

" 'It was rather beautiful: the way he put her insecurities to sleep. The way he dove into her eyes and starved all the fears and tasted all the dreams she kept coiled beneath her bones.' " Eugene whispered against my skin, though I could tell his eyes were still on the page. Something shifting within me then, and I had no idea what it was and how it was shaping me. But the next thing I knew, I looked up at him, seeing that our noses were touching since we were looking right at each other, very close enough to kiss but neither one of us moved from our spots on the cot. Eugene was looking right at me, still holding the book in his hand but all of his focus was right one me. It was warm suddenly in the room, all from just staring at him and being pressed up against him on a twin cot. Everything inside of me was getting warmer and warmer, all from just being this close to Eugene. We never had time to be alone, not like this. So why was this both feeling like we were about to break a rule, and amazing at the same time.

"Why is that your favorite?" I asked him, though it was barely a whisper since it felt like we were about to kiss. Why was I getting this sudden warmth flooding me when in the past few days all I as feeling was the coldness and the bitter feeling of reality.

"Because that's how I feel about you, what I wanted to do for you." Eugene merely replied to me, almost touching my lips with his and I could tell he was telling the truth, in which he then kissed me square on the mouth. I sighed into the kiss, kissing him right back and hearing him drop the book to the floor with the sound echoing off the walls there in the small room. Eugene cupped my cheek with the hand that was once holding the book, the other hand was in my hair and almost holding me there to make sure I wasn't going to disappear.

Both of my arms were still around his waist, though now I moved my hands to just grab his jacket and not let go. This was beyond amazing for me, having my own head swim once again in adrenaline and with a high coming over me. The more we kissed, the bolder it was getting for the both of us since we were always so gentle and careful with one another. Eugene's hand that was in my hair left to go to my back, clutching my jacket for dear life and having me hear him groan as I kissed him deeply then, no longer caring and wanting him to feel what I was feeling for him.

But his lips left my own, having me suddenly ask if I did something wrong. However, his lips were on my neck now, having me really try so hard not to moan out loud in the middle of the room and look like a teenager school girl getting laid. This was setting off another explosion in my chest as I threw one hand into his hair, having to hold onto something, anything, to not fall off the bed. His hands clutching my jacket in a death grip, lips against my neck and kissing the scars there, his body against mine, it was all too much and not enough at the same time.

"Gott helve mir." (God help me) I gasped out between my lips as his own lips were along my jawline, kissing each scar that was there and he then moved away from me, looking at me now with concern in his eyes. His lips were ruby red, blush was on his cheeks and his breathing was erratic. If he looked like this, what did I look like? I was trying to breathe as well since it was so short and shallow and his eyes were dark beyond dilation now.

"What did you say?" He asked me in intrigue, but he was short and a breathy tone since he was trying to control his breathing. I didn't say anything at first, but I just looked at him and saw what kind of state he was in. I did that to him, and it made me feel proud.

"I'm not sayin' anything to you." I replied back in a smirk, seeing him break out into a huge grin, "Hell of a way to read poetry to me." Eugene looked down for a second since I gave him such a compliment, the smile never leaving his face as he then looked back at me now with a warmth there again.

"I've wanted to kiss you like that for awhile I guess, but I never got the nerve." He confessed softly, tracing my jawline and neck now with his fingers. It was like the rest of the world, including the war, melting away and we are in our own bubble again. I needed this, the bubble around us so that we wouldn't be touched or stained from the outside sins.

"Why haven't you?" I asked him with a shrug of my shoulders. He paused, collecting his own thought before his answer was heard in our small area on the cot.

"You were trying to get yourself back together, and I didn't want to kiss you unless you were ready for one." Eugene explained simply, having me suddenly feel my own heart tear from what he told me. He didn't want to push it with me because he saw me in pain and knew that I needed to heal. I was only thinking about myself and my own demons, too blinded to see Eugene next to me the whole time. He was holding my hands, silently telling me that he that he was hurting for me.

"You're far too good for me, you know that right?" I asked him, since I knew that was the truth, "You never moved away from me when I would think other guys would."

"You're worth more than that, Jemima." Eugene answered back, having me really see that he meant it. Something then filled the air, something loud and thundering. We both snapped up from the bed, fearing the worst since we could hear it was gunfire. It was rapid and it was close. I gasped out, hopping off the bed as I looked over to the window, seeing the sky light from the gunfire. Running over, I peered out the window and I could feel the cold air hitting my heated face hard. It was to my left, having me see that the island was now being attacked on, yelling and gunfire was all over the place.

"It's the island." I said aloud, then looking behind me. I saw Eugene already off the bed, his helmet on and he was clutching my satchel and helmet in his hands as he walked over to the door with a determined look on his face. We were back in Medic mode, and as I walked over to join him, he tossed me my satchel. I threw it over my shoulder, the both of us running down the stairs to the area now. He then gave me my helmet, having me throw it on. Our moment together was long gone, but we were determined to get it back sometime soon in the future.

As soon as we left the building, we ran again with our legs pumping and seeing one soldier running over to us. We both came to a halt as he came, looking horrid on his face.

"You have to come with us, Jackson's been hit and we need you. Come on!" He said, running then again to the place where he came from and we followed. The firing was still going on near the area, and they were in what looked like a basement. We followed the soldier as he lead us down a few steps into a basement that looked like it was about to collapse. Soldiers were all around, and I could both American and German soldiers there. The Germans were held captive, but we moved to the one wounded boy who was on the pile of bricks and wood: Jackson.

I went over to Jackson first, looking down at him and seeing the damage already done to his face. This was not good, since half of his face already look melted off in blood and skin. One of his eyes was melted off in another part of his face, and he was gasping for air. I knew this was nothing close to being fine, but I had to show on my face that he was in good hands. The men crowded around me as I tried to work on him, thinking of a way to look more at his face though it was dark. He then sounded like he was about to choke, having me place my ear near his mouth and hear the gagging already happening.

"Jem?" I heard in front of me, seeing that it was Webster that asked what was going on.

"Give me a light." I commanded once, seeing someone flip open their lighter as I looked at Eugene.

"Tilt his head back so we can open his mouth to breathe." I ordered him, seeing him grab Jackson's jaw and tilt him back. I placed two fingers on his bottom teeth so he can open his mouth and breathe, the light having me see his face more clearly. He was for certain disabled in the face now, and it was nowhere close to being fixed. Everyone around us was quiet as both Eugene and I looked at his face to see what to do.

"Look at the light. There you go." Eugene urged Jackson as he did this, his one eye shining from the light there.

"You have any ideas?" I asked Eugene, looking over at him and seeing Jackson still trying to breathe.

"Let's get him out of here." Eugene said aloud, and the men moved out of the way for the stretcher to come over. Eugene pulled me aside as they placed him there, but all we could hear was him moaning and sobbing.

"I don't wanna die!" he said over and over as they were carrying him out. But another bomb hit the top of the building, forcing the men to place him back on the floor and both Eugene and I rushed over to his side. He was saying it, over and over as I then knelt down next to him. I had to help him, I had to show him somehow that he was going to be fine. So I scooped him up into my arms, holding him close like a mother would to a child as Eugene clutched his throat from bleeding.

"You're not going to die, do you hear me?! I have you now, you're not going to die on me, Jackson! You need to breathe!" I yelled at him over the sounds of the bombing that was still going on. He gagged in my arms, trying to breathe, but it was no use. I was watching him die in my arms as if he was my own son.

"Jackson!" Eugene called out once more, but it was no use. With one last gagging breath, Jackson died there that very night. I paused, still holding him in my arms and feeling nothing but pain as I lowered him back on the cot, seeing Eugene throw off his helmet in frustration. I did the same, though I was slower at it and still looking at Jackon's face. Johnny Martin came over with a blanket, throwing it over his face as I closed my eyes again.

I wanted to go home.