A/N: Christmas happened! I hope you all had a wonderful day. In case you missed it, I posted a fic over on my tumblr for the secret Santa, it's called "Ho Ho Hosiery" which I thought was witty as fuck.
The story doesn't move forwards too much in this chapter, but it felt important for Gail's development to include it. It sets a couple of things up for the later chapters as well. To help redirect the story (and because I'm refusing to finish season six) I've done some reworking on Sophie's character. I don't think I've taken her too off track, and I don't think it's really noticeable in this chapter, but if she seems OOC, that's the reason!
"Are you okay?" Sophie's face reflects the confusion in her voice and Gail has to look away from her when she feels a tear slips down her cheek.
"Oh sweetie." Quickly she swipes at her cheek, and looks back at the little girl. "You're Sophie?"
"Yeah," Her head nods harshly. "Do you know where my mum is?" This time her voice is harsher, and Gail can hear the panic starting to seep into it.
Tears start to cloud her vision again and she's not going to do this here, not in the laundry room where she had held her injured mother just hours earlier. "Sophie, which apartment do you live in?"
"Three hundred and twelve, but she's not there." Gail knows she's not there and she knows that she will never be there again.
"That's okay, sweetie, that's okay, can you take me there?" Standing up, she brushes at the thin layer of dust that's collected on her pants before holding out her hand for Sophie to take. She needs to get her out of this room before anyone else can walk in and let slip about what had happened there earlier.
Instead of taking her hand the little girl just looks at her suspiciously and takes a small step back. "Are you really a police officer?" She doesn't trust her and Gail thinks that maybe she's right not to, because she told her mother she would be okay and now she's dead.
Swallowing back the new rush of emotion Gail pulls her badge from her pocket and squats down in front of Sophie. "This is my badge."
"Wow," She doesn't resist when Sophie takes it, her small hands brushing over the cool metal and her dark eyes widening in wonder. A smile breaks out across her face and Gail almost has to look away, because she's about to hear the worst news of her short life and it scares her to think that this child in front of her might never feel this child like happiness again. Death had a way of making kids grow up too quickly, she had seen the result hundreds of times in the cells at the precinct. "It's really gold looking. Do you know what the symbol for gold is?"
The question catches her off guard and she feels her eyebrows furrowing in confusion. "The symbol?"
"It's AU, I've been learning all of them. Well I've been learning ten of them." Sophie smiles at her again, and it's so bright and Gail feels sick, because all this child like wonder is about to be ripped away from her. "Come on, I'll show you the picture I drew of the frogs." Keeping her badge held in one of her hands Sophie reaches out with her free one and grips onto Gail's own.
"Okay," Taking a deep breath she stands up again. "Okay."
Sophie tugs on her hand again, and Gail quickly follows after her, just barely remembering to duck under the plastic tape across the door. Selfishly she's glad to be out of the laundry room and away from the tangy scent of cleaning fluid, because it's going to be difficult enough to tell Sophie what's happened without being in the room it happened in.
Sophie takes her up the stairs, and Gail doesn't even think to complain, her thoughts swirling with what she's about to do. When they stop in front of the door, she doesn't even think twice when she reaches out with the key she found in the laundry room.
"Did my mum give you her keys?" It's entirely impossible, but it feels like her blood freezes and her heart stops pumping.
She doesn't know what to say, because her mum was dead by the time she found them. Without looking down at her Gail nods her head, refusing to vocalise her lie. As soon as the doors open Sophie's pushing past her and running down the hall.
It takes a few moments for her to move, because it feels like her throat is closing up. Maybe telling Sophie in the laundry room would have been better, because telling her here, in her home feels so much worse.
Pictures of Sophie and her mum line the wall, both of them beaming at the camera and Gail notices the lack of a father figure in any photo, the lack of anyone but her and her mother. She doesn't know their story, she doesn't know where Sophie and her mum came from before being forced into this building, but she just knows it's only them. Sophie's family was her mother, and now she's going to be entirely alone.
"Sophie?" Gail somehow manages to keep the overwhelming feeling of panic that's washing over her from her voice, but her feet stay stuck in the hallway, refusing to violate any more of Sophie's home.
"Yeah!" Her voice calls out from inside the apartment and Gail slowly starts backing out.
"I just need to make a phone call, I'll be just outside the door okay?" She's already on the other side of the door way, hands fumbling in her pockets for her phone.
"Okay!"
Pulling the door shut behind her she dials Oliver's number, tapping her foot impatiently as it continues to ring. "Come on, come on, come on."
"Peck, where are you?"
"I found Sophie." It rushes out and she has to pull in a sharp breath as her breathing starts to run away from her control.
"The woman in the hospital?" Oliver sounds confused, and she shakes her head to try and clear her rushing thoughts.
"Her daughter is Sophie." She hopes that he understands, because she's not sure she can articulate exactly what it is she needs to say.
"Oh darling..."
"I'm at the apartment building with her now." Her voice sounds to breathy, and she has to try harder than normal to inhale another breath to try and alleviate the pressure in her lungs. "She's just a kid Oliver, I can't," Her breath starts coming in staggered gasps and the last time she felt like this Holly had been there to help her down, but she was gone now, like Sophie's mum was gone. "I can't-"
"Okay, Gail, darling, I need to you listen to me." She knows he can't see her, but she nods her head anyway, her body leaning against the closed door behind her for support. "What you're going to do is take a breath okay?" It's shaky and it still feels like her chest is going to crush in on itself, but she can feel the tightness loosening. "And another one." She does as instructed, pulling in another breath and holding it, before exhaling as slowly as possible.
Oliver gives her a few moments of just breathing, and she barely registers the comforting words from the other end of the phone as she tries to relax. "You okay darling?"
"Yeah, yeah I'm fine." A stray tear falls down her cheek and she quickly swipes it away, because now isn't the time for them.
"I'm going to put in a call, and someone's going to come and help okay? This isn't something you have to do." She hears him, barely and she still feels like it's her responsibility to tell Sophie, but she knows she has to do it right. The thought makes her stomach lurch, because there couldn't possibly be a right way to do this. She realises she's spaced out when she hears Oliver's worried voice from the other end of the phone. "Gail?"
"Huh? What?"
"What's the apartment number, they should be with you in ten minutes?"
"312, can you ask them to knock first?" It's a pointless instruction, she knows they wouldn't just going to walk straight in, but she needs the reassurance, she needs to know.
"Sure thing darling." He says his goodbyes, checking one last time that she's okay to go back in there, but really what choice did she have. It takes another minute of slowly breathing before Gail can reach out for the door again, gently pushing it shut behind her. This time she refuses to look at the photos on the wall, because she can already feel another round of tears gathering in her eyes, and she can't do this in front of Sophie.
Gail finds Sophie in the main room of the apartment, her little body squashed between the couch and coffee table as she scribbles on the paper in front of her. She watches her, happily humming to herself as she works, and it's like a sickening count down as she waits for the door to knock behind her. The minutes drag on, and she knows she can't just stand there.
"Hi." Sophie barely even glances up from her scribbling, and Gail looks over her shoulder, smiling at the picture of frogs and tadpoles that she's drawing.
"Do you like science?" The couch groans underneath her as she perches on the edge, her hand moving against her will to tuck a loose piece of hair back behind Sophie's ear.
"Mhhmm. It's my favourite, when I grow up I'm going to be a scientist." Sophie turns back to face her and gives her possibly the brightest, happiest smile she's ever seen.
"Yeah?" Her lip trembles again, and she quickly bites into it, praying the brief flash of pain it causes will be distraction enough from the new threat of tears.
"Mum says I'll make a good scientist, because I ask too many questions." The way she says, Gail just she knows it's always something said with endearment, and she hopes Sophie can hold onto those memories. She hopes that Sophie never forgets that the last thing her mum wanted was to make sure Sophie was okay.
The little girl looks at her expectantly as her mouth opens, but her voice catches on the lump in her throat. Swallowing it back Gail tries to smile as reassuringly as possible. "I know a scientist."
"Really?" The revelation has Sophie scrambling to sit in front of her, her little legs crossing as she waits for Gail to continue.
"Yeah, she works in a lab, and she wears these really dorky glasses and a white coat," Sophie giggles at her description, her hands coming up to cover her mouth. "That makes her a real scientist."
"Wow," There's such childish wonder in that one word, and it's then that Gail decides that she'll do everything she can to make sure Sophie never loses that. Even if it means adopting Sophie herself, she'll do it if it means she never tires of all the childish joy there was for her to find in the world.
"Her name is Holly and she's," The most beautiful person she's ever seen, the most intelligent person that she's ever spoken to, the person she's loved the most. Looking down at the floor Gail tries to straighten her thoughts, because bringing Holly up was a mistake. "She's the smartest person I know."
"Mum said if I was really good then Santa would bring me a microscope this year." A knock at the door interrupts them before Gail can fully process her words, before they can cut into her heart like she knows they will later. "Mum?!"
Gail doesn't answer, she can't, so she just stands and walks past her towards the door. Oliver's voice runs through her head, telling her to breathe, and she takes a moment to compose herself before turning the handle. The woman on the other side of the door smiles at her warmly, they had met before, another case, another parentless child and Gail briefly wonders how she does this everyday. The officer next to her tells her his name, but she's not listening, and just gestures back into the apartment.
"She's in the living room." They both nod solemnly and Gail thinks about just leaving, just running back to her car and letting out all the tears that have been collecting since Sophie walked into the laundry room. She thinks that maybe if she just got in her car and drove to Holly everything would all be okay again. She owes Sophie's mum this though, because she told her she would be okay, so it's with a final deep breath that she leads them into the living room.
"Sophie?" Her bright eyes look up at her from her seat on the floor before looking around Gail body to wave at the two new people in her apartment. "This is Tara, she's here about your mother."
A/N: I have absolutely no idea how the police would handle a situation like this one, so I'm just guessing there's a special selection of officer who are trained in it? Also... Just a reminder... Even though Gail's willing to go as far as adopting Sophie if it means she's going to be happy... I'm not going down the adoption route.
I like to think this chapter and the next are the low point of the fic, now Gail's hit it she can start building herself back up again. Before we see that though, the next chapter is from Holly's POV. It's time to see where she's at with the breakup... And you're going to hate it in the best possible way ;)