Footsteps in the Dark
Chapter 25 - New Years and New Starts
"Now what?" Nick asked as a flustered up methodical Ruth continued treating the patient lying in front of her.
"We need to make the small incision and insert the tube." Ruth said almost as if she was reading a textbook
"Good and then?" Nick said coming closer and leaning over Ruth's shoulder
"Drain the fluid." Ruth said as she picked up the scalpel
"Ok make it…" Nick paused
"Not to small not to big. About the width of your thumb?" Ruth guessed
"..Yes, Exactly. Nicely put Dr Winters." Nick complemented her Jay winked at her from across the patient and she shot him one of her 'be professional!' glares that she still reserved just for him.
Ruth carefully made the incision and then slowly inserted the tube Jay passed her. It gently slid through the tissues, a trickle of blood falling from the wound.
It was that time of the year when the Christmas hype was slowly fading, everyone was feeling the inevitable slump. Nick had decided to increase his efforts of making Ruth a first rate emergency doctor. Ruth took this to mean he was convinced his days were numbered but she could never be sure with the older doctor.
As Ruth finished the procedure she felt a flush of accomplishment. The fluid was successfully drained and she had correctly carried out the entire thing by herself.
She had soon worked out that why ever Nick was leaving it was forcing him to take a step back from the patients and treat them with words not actions. She was actually quite enjoying becoming his hands.
As Jay tidied up the patient Nick gestured her to follow him and she did still deep in though about her mentor.
At first she had taken the shaky hands, the lack of sufficient motor skills and memory to be down to an alcohol problem. After having so much personal experience with alcoholics it was always an issue at the forefront of her mind so it was always a conclusion she came to surprisingly quickly, sometimes with bad results. She swallowed trying not to think about the patient she had misdiagnosed, the patient that had been the final straw almost two years ago now.
No she didn't believe Nick's problem was down to alcohol. It appeared to be something much more serious. Ruth suspected something neurological but obviously she couldn't be sure. She knew Adam knew about what ever it was, he would act like he was the clinical lead when Nick was around and glare at Nick every time he nearly touched a patient. Zoe also seemed to know. It was common knowledge she and Nick were now some sort of item.
Ruth had at first expected to feel a pang of jealously when she found out she after all had once harboured a crush on her mentor, even going so far as to spend a night with him but since she had started going out with Jay she hadn't really thought about him twice. The power was no longer something that attracted her neither was the father figure. She was pondering how the lack of parental influence affected her choices at times when they stepped into a cubicle.
This patient was blatantly drunk. His words were slurring as he shouted abuse at Jess who looked close to tears, he smelt of stale cider and cigarettes. A stomach churning combination Ruth recalled from her childhood. She swallowed deeply trying to prevent herself from throwing up, sick, blood, gangrene mouldy body parts… non of those smells effected her in the slightest but these days the familiar stench of stale beer or cider mixed with that of cigarettes made her heave.
"What do you think Doctor Winters?" Nick asked interrupting her thoughts
"CT scan just in case, it is obvious he is drunk but it could easily be hiding a head trauma. She said in an overly cautious manner
"Ruth just because in the past you may have experienced cases that you believe you could have changed the outcome of…" Ruth swallowed nervously "…Doesn't mean every future case will need to go to the expense of a CT scan or such. Before you try to be over cautious, look at the situation, if it is suspicious then whatever the case is make sure you take all precautions, if not, then take the necessary precautions and if any symptoms show later take yet more precautions. This gentleman for example was found passed out on a park bench, he had folded up his jumper and had apparently simply fallen into a deep sleep. Totally inebriated."
"I am not ineeeebriatated!" The patient tried to argue
"You, shut up! see Doctor Winters?" He asked "What treatment would you now suggest?"
"Stitches in the cut, monitoring for a few hours or at least until he has sobered up slightly." She gestured at the mans arm "Discussing the outcome alcoholism and extreme drinking."
"I'm not an alcoholic!" He protested
"Good." Nick said "Right I will leave him in your capable hands. Nurse Harrison if you would come with me." He raised his eyebrows at the frustrated and teary eyed nurse.
"But…" Ruth started looking nothing less than petrified, but she reminded herself Nick wouldn't have know what sort of mental torture she would be going through treating the patient.
"Your just like the rest of them." The man slurred
"Just lie still and let me stitch this up." Ruth said harshly grabbing his arm a little more roughly than she intended
"Your going to lecture me." he spat "Tell me to put the bottles back in the cupboard, I've heard it all before."
"I bet." Ruth mumbled trying to ignore the man, her frosty shell instantly re-appeared to protect herself from the memories more than anything.
"You could never understand." He said sharply "you doctors are all the same, heartless monsters like your boss person." the man told Ruth
"Oh I understand." Ruth told him "I understand perfectly well."
"Yeah right." he hissed
Ruth finished the stitches and pulled off her rubber gloves.
"You know what? Alcoholism is one of the most selfish ways of destroying your life possible." She began staring the man in the eyes "The damage to your body is irreparable and lets not even go into the damage to the people around you… Do you have a wife?" He nodded "Kids?" he nodded again
"My dad is an alcoholic." She told him bluntly "His alcoholism was directly related to my mother committing suicide when I was thirteen, his alcoholism was also directly related to my brother becoming a criminal and me… It screwed me up. He hurt me in so many ways, the mental and physical abuse has left me with permanent scars, I've tried to kill myself twice."
He was stunned into silence.
"it's a hard thing to over come but not impossible." Ruth explained "you have two choices. You can let me help you or you can carry on hurting yourself and everyone around you. Make a choice." She held out her hand to the man and he looked up into her cold eyes.
"I don't make offers like this very often you should know." Ruth said her blue eyes piercing his green ones.
"If you can help me. Then please do." he replied simply accepting the hand.
"I know just the Nurse." She smiled thinking about Abs and his new clinic, if anyone she knew could help the man onto the right path is was the guy that had subtly helped set her off on that path herself.
Ruth slipped out of the cubicle, leaving the patient happily settled back in the bed waiting for his observation time to be over so he could be discharged. She walked right into Jay who appeared to have taken up lodgings outside of the cubicle his ear pressed against the horrifically patterned fabric.
"I wasn't…" He started immediately flushing red
"You're an idiot." Ruth said hitting him around the head with the patients files.
"When I heard he was an alcoholic I thought… I wanted to make sure… you were upset or… put in a position that would…" he scratched the back of his neck in that nervous fashion he had perfected.
But Ruth knew he wasn't snooping he was just being over protective. She knew he expected her to start yelling but she didn't want to, with a jolt she realised it was nice to know someone was looking out for her.
"Your not screaming…" He started nervously "Why aren't you screaming?"
"Because maybe I'm enjoying having someone who looks out for me." She smiled slightly
"But you usually scream…" Jay raised an eyebrow "Have you had a brain transplant Doctor Winters?"
"Nah some idiot just left my freezer door open." She poked her tongue out at him and scurried off to carry on with her work.
Jay watched her go bemused and amazed.
The simple changes in Ruth that he had observed was at time nothing short of miraculous, the things she had over come… He smiled to himself thinking about how he had helped her. He would go to the edge of the world for that girl.. He would cling to the edge of the most crumbly cliff, risk life and death.
It had hit him so hard that he never saw it coming.
That dawning realisation.
He headed to the staffroom his head spinning. Slumping on the sofa he held his head firmly in his hands.
He knew what he had to do but how to do it? It had to be perfect. Spectacular even.
It was New years eve tomorrow.
Out with the old, In with the new. The symbolism was so perfect.
"Alright?" Charlie asked as he helped a preoccupied Jay direct the patient's trolley into the lift
"Yeah just thinking about.. Stuff." Jay smiled slightly
"Does this stuff include a certain Icy Doctor?" Charlie smiled knowingly
"When doesn't it?" Jay asked rolling his eyes slightly.
"Don't be so nervous." Charlie said as the lift door shut looking down at his shaking palm and the box he was rolling between his fingers. He slipped it back into his scrubs pocket. "Just get on and do it."
"How do you always read my mind?" He asked eyeing up the older nurse.
"Because I can." Charlie smiled "And whatever plan your cooking up… Just make it Simple Dramatic and Realistic. Make her feel important. Put the spotlight on her."
"Thanks Gramps." Jay nodded as they pushed the trolley from the lift the patient looking vaguely confused.
Simple.
Dramatic.
Realistic.
Important.
Spotlight.
New years eve arrived. With a wink from Charlie Jay had excused himself from the Staffroom. His entire body shaking as he pulled on his crisp black suit. He fingers got all tangled as he tried to tie the bow tie and he was thankful for the appearance of Adam who immediately stepped in and performed the simple task before slapping the nurse on the back. He had never been so nervous about something in his entire life.
Simple.
Dramatic.
Realistic.
Important.
Spotlight.
A radio was being played on the reception desk by Noel who obviously was trying to shoot a bit of new years joy into the air as they worked.
Jay walked nervously through the department, feeling like an idiot in his suit.
"10." the voice on the radio announced
Jay quickened his pace
"9"
Nine seconds to find her
"8"
Charlie slapped him on the back reassuringly as he passed.
"7"
The other members of staff were appearing from cubicles and offices, all eyes on Jay in his suit.
"6"
He spotted her in resus pulling off the rubber gloves knowing they were making the familiar snapping sound.
"5"
His fingers closed around the small box as he willed up all the courage he could
"4"
She walked through those doors, she frowned.
"3"
"Where are your scrubs!" she rolled her eyes beginning to turn away.
"Just shut up for a second!" Jay blurted out grabbing her arm. She span back around to face him
"2"
He was down on one knee
"What on earth…" Ruth started.
"Ruth you drive me up the wall!" He laughed slightly "But I love you with every little bit of my heart. Will you Marry me?" Jay asked pulling out a small box.
"1"
Ruth looked down stunned for a second. This couldn't be happing to her, this was the sort of thing that only happened in fairytales, not her life. A big smile crossed her face.
But she didn't have to think twice.
"Yes." She replied wrapping her arms around his neck as he stood up.
She kissing him deeply while the whole department cheered, Auld Lang Syne booming out throughout the department from the radio and several members of staff.
"I love you Jay." she added between kisses.
"I love you too Ruth." Jay beamed
A New Year. A New Start.
A/n - Thanks for reading everyone! This fic is the first part of a triology and I will be posting the next part (Trials of the Heart) soon if you want to read what happens next! :)