Baby Now That I've Found You
by aprilhope

Ch. 25 - Learning To Be Human

"Carly, how are you doing? Almost ready?"

It was Friday night, and they were preparing to go to Bobbie's for dinner. It would be Carly's first venture outside of the penthouse since losing the baby. Sonny was a little nervous for her, but mostly he felt very hopeful that this would be a major turning point in her recovery.

Having been ready for about half an hour, Sonny checked on Carly, coming up behind her at the vanity in their room. He put his hands on her shoulders and she jumped slightly, making a mistake in her already unsteady eyeliner application.

"Damn it," she said quietly.

"Sorry."

"It's not you. It's just been so long since I've bothered to even try to look human that I think I've forgotten how to do this. How have you managed to stay here with me looking like I have all these weeks?"

"What are ya talking about? You know you're always beautiful."

"Right," she muttered, disbelieving. "Anyway, um…" She smudged the extra eyeliner and stood up. "I guess I'm as ready as I'm going to be."

Sonny took her hand and looked her up and down. She was wearing a sleeveless top and long skirt in complimentary shades of light and dark blue. "You look gorgeous."

She flushed at his compliment, as she always did, but was compelled to play it off, as she always did. "I've been wearing the same robe every day for God knows how long. Anything else is bound to look good to you."

"Carly…"

"I'm going to get Michael and head down."

Watching her walk out of the room, Sonny couldn't help shaking his head. He wished she wouldn't slight herself like that. Remembering the staircase, he followed her quickly down the hall. Though not the terrifying prospect it was just a few days before, he knew she would appreciate his arm in going down the stairs.

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With Michael on her hip and Sonny on her arm, Carly made her way up the walkway to the front door of the brownstone. Sonny heard her breathing a little funny and shot her a look of concern.

"I'll be fine," she tried to reassure. "I know I'm being stupid. It's just my mom. It's just, like I said… learning to be human again."

"I'm very proud of you."

The dark of his eyes was making her head swim. "Thanks. And, I, um… forgot to tell you something at home."

"What?"

"You look really… really nice, too."

Sonny leaned in and gave his wife a sweet kiss on the cheek… to which Michael started making little lip-smacking mwaa mwaa mwaa noises. Carly even laughed a bit, which made Sonny's heart soar. Feeling for the first time that everything was going to be okay, he rang the doorbell.

"It's open! Come on in!" Bobbie's voice called out from inside.

Upon opening the door and stepping in, both were treated to a rather unwelcome and unbelievable shock. This was no quiet little dinner with Carly's mother and brother. This was some sort of full-fledged party. It seemed like half of Port Charles was there in Bobbie's den.

Besides Bobbie and Lucas, Carly spotted Chloe and Jax… Juan, Emily, Lucky, and Elizabeth… Tony, Amy, Kevin Collins… Mac and the girls… Mike and Tammy… Laura… her mother's boyfriend, Roy… and Leticia, who saw a look come over Carly's face like she might pass out and wisely hurried up to take Michael.

Arms now empty, Carly turned toward Sonny, hiding her face against his chest and gripping his arms like she was in danger of falling again. Sonny held her close, trying to control his anger as Bobbie approached with a big smile on her face.

"Bobbie, what the hell is this?!"

"What do you mean, Sonny? Everyone's here for Carly, to support her."

More like to celebrate my baby being dead, Carly thought.

"Now, I know I said it would be just Lucas and me," Bobbie continued, "but then I thought this would be so much better, and I was afraid neither of you would come if I told you."

"You were right. And that should give you some indication that it was a bad idea. Look at her, Bobbie. This is the first time she's left the penthouse. She can't handle being around all these people yet, even if you had invited people she liked."

Taking a good look at her daughter, who seemed to be shrinking away inside herself more and more, Bobbie wondered if perhaps she had made a big mistake. "But… I had no idea she was still so fragile. Whenever I'd call, you told me she was getting better every day."

Sonny sighed. He had done that. "Then it's partly my fault. I just didn't want you to worry about her more than you had to. But, bottom line is, Carly's not ready for a party. Thank you, but we're going home."

Carly was in a bad state, but she wasn't completely out of it. And she hated being discussed like she wasn't there. She also hated hearing herself being described as fragile, no matter that she knew it was accurate.

"No, Sonny, it's okay," she spoke up. "My mom went to a lot of trouble, so… Maybe this will be good for me." She raised her head and looked around at all the guests, realizing the room had gone silent and everyone was staring at her. Was that pity on their faces? It was a strange sight, knowing as she did that the majority of these people hated her.

"Are you sure, Carly? You don't have to prove anything." Sonny searched her eyes for proof that she could handle this.

"I'm sure. Just… just stay close, okay?"

"I'm right here."

Carly gave her mother a small hug before heading out into the crowd with Sonny. "Interesting guests, Mama. I'm surprised you didn't invite Taggert and Hannah."

Bobbie winced. "Actually, I did. They said they didn't think you would want them here."

Sonny and Carly just moved away from Bobbie, unable to fathom her any longer. Carly turned to Sonny and whispered, "How sad is it that two of our least favorite people in this world understand me better than my own mother?"

He kissed her temple, put an arm around her waist, and they faced the partygoers together.

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The party itself was sort of a blur for Carly. The mood was one of solemn respect for their loss and a (for the most part) forced friendliness. Instead of a sit-down dinner, Bobbie had set up a buffet, and people stood around in little groups chatting as they ate. Carly would not let go of Sonny, even when he went to get her a plate. He was being a rock for her, as always. She didn't seem able to even keep a polite smile on her face, let alone talk to these people who thought she was trash yet came offering condolences. Sonny took that pressure off her, saying thank you to people she knew he'd rather not have to deal with either… From Tony, who just reminded him of that horrible day… to Mac, the police commissioner, whose job it was to put him in prison… to Roy, who was FBI and his ex-girlfriend's father… to his own father, Mike, who was always a bit of a struggle for Sonny to talk to, even with the good relationship they currently had. Sonny would give her a comforting little squeeze and she would nod in agreement to his thanks.

She was pretty sure her cousin Lucky had actually hugged her, saying something about family taking care of each other. I didn't know he remembered we were related. Mac said something about understanding the pain of losing a child from when Maxie needed a new heart and almost died. But there she stands, and she looks pretty healthy to me. And Kevin Collins… Did I imagine that? No, Sonny took it and put it in his jacket pocket. Dr. Collins had pressed his business card into her hand, whether out of sincere concern or desire to trade her mental health for Sonny's wealth, she didn't really know or care. These people weren't her friends.

She scanned the crowd for Leticia and Chloe. She would talk to them.

"Jax, you cannot be serious about leaving this early. We haven't even spoken to Carly and Sonny yet!" Chloe tried to make Jax see sense, but she knew it was hopeless.

"That's exactly the point. Trust me, Chloe. Sonny Corinthos does not want sympathetic words from me."

"Well, maybe you're right. But can you understand that I need to stay? Carly is my friend."

"Do I understand why you're friends with Carly? No, I don't."

Chloe started to make an angry retort, but Jax continued.

"But I guess that, if you insist on being her friend, I understand that you need to speak to her. Go on over to her, tell her how sorry you are for her loss, and we can be out of here in time to meet Ned and Alexis for dinner at the Grille."

Chloe just stared at him, amazed in her realization that he honestly didn't hear anything wrong with what he was saying. "I actually used to think you were sensitive."

Jax sighed. "Chloe, let's not start this."

"I'm not starting anything, Jax. Go to dinner. Say hi to Ned and Alexis for me. I'm staying here."

"I'm getting a sense of déja vu."

Chloe looked at him with sadly matter-of-fact eyes. "Unfortunately, so am I."

Jax stared at her for a few moments. Nothing more to say, he left, shaking his head. Chloe blinked back a tear or two of frustration, and then she turned to walk over to where Carly and Sonny stood talking to Leticia… now without Michael, who was being fussed over by his grandparents.

Meanwhile, Leticia was apologizing to Carly. "I'm so sorry, honey. I knew this was a bad idea. But I didn't even find out about it 'til this morning, and it was all set up, and Bobbie was so…"

"I know, Let. It's okay," Carly told her, though with a voice so weak Leticia wasn't sure she believed it.

"How come we didn't see a bunch of cars?" Sonny inquired, still upset that he'd brought Carly into this.

"Well, I know I took a cab. But I think Bobbie told everybody it was supposed to be a surprise, so they all parked down the street a ways."

"Surprise," mumbled Carly.

Sonny and Leticia exchanged a look of worry. Just then, Chloe joined in. Carly was happy to see her and reached out for the hug her friend was offering.

"How are you feeling, Carly? You look wonderful."

Carly managed her first smile since entering the house. "Thank you. I'm… still breathing."

Sonny was thrilled to see her smile, though he wondered why she could believe the compliment when it came from Chloe but not from him.

"Where's Jax?" Carly asked.

"Uh, he had to leave. Sudden business meeting. But he wanted me to extend condolences on his behalf and wish you both the best."

Sonny nodded his head as she spoke, doing his best not to roll his eyes. He liked Chloe, but he also knew the only truth in that stuff she said about Jax was that he had left. Even if Candyboy had managed to say a kind word towards Carly, there was no way he would wish them both the best. The ring of his cell phone interrupted his thoughts.

"Excuse me," he said to the three ladies before answering. "Yeah? Calm down, Benny. Okay. Just a second." He covered the mouthpiece and turned to Carly. "I promise it'll be quick, but I really need to take this in private. Will you be okay for just a few minutes?"

She wanted to keep him right next to her, but how sad and pathetic was she if she couldn't go two minutes without him? "Yeah, I'll be fine."

He gave her another kiss on the cheek. "I'll be right out back." Moving through the crowd, he headed for the back door. "Talk to me, Benny…"

Carly was vaguely aware of Chloe and Leticia saying something to her, but without Sonny she suddenly didn't want to be around anyone, even her friends.

"Guys, I'm gonna go fill up my plate again, okay?"

"You haven't eaten what's already on your plate," Leticia noted tentatively.

"Well, I… I don't like this, so I'm gonna go get something different. You two talk. Just don't worry about me." With that, Carly nearly ran for the buffet table.

"I guess she wants to be alone," said Chloe.

"That's what worries me," echoed Leticia. "But I guess there's not much we can do. So… not that I don't enjoy your company, but if you're looking for someone to talk to, I know a much better listener than me."

"Who?"

"Hmm, I shouldn't say. But he's outside sitting in the driver's seat of a limo as we speak."

Chloe tried not to light up at the thought of Johnny, but she seemed unable to help it. "And you think he'd be happy to see…?"

"Over the moon. Go."

"Thanks, Leticia."

Leticia watched Chloe go with a knowing smile. There was definitely something brewing with those two.

Her thoughts turned, as they always did, to AJ. It had been too long since she had seen him. She hoped he had stopped beating himself up, as he had encouraged her to stop blaming herself at the hospital. They had spoken on the phone only once in the past few weeks. It seemed neither of them knew what to do next. Sure, she was no longer with Reggie, and he was divorced from Carly, but their lives were still so different. They were still so different. If she let her heart imagine a future with him, was she just kidding herself?

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knock, knock

Johnny heard the delicate raps on the window and looked through the tinted glass to see Chloe. He made sure to convert his goofy grin to a cool, casual smile before stepping out of the limo.

"Did I startle you again?" she asked.

Somehow she was lovelier every time he saw her. Maybe that was because a lot of her smiles were aimed at him lately. "Nah, not too bad," he teased lightly. "Hey, what are you doing here?"

"Apparently Bobbie invited more guests to dinner than Carly and Sonny were aware of."

"How many?"

"Close to twenty."

"Seriously? Damn. What is Ms. Spencer thinking?"

"I don't know. When she invited me, I thought it was a sweet idea. Now I'm starting to feel guilty for being here."

"Don't, Chloe. I'm sure Carly was glad to see you."

"Yes, I suppose she was."

"That was my segue into the fact that I'm glad to see you."

Happiness tickled the corners of her mouth. "Back at you."

"So, what brings you by the limo?"

"Just wanted some fresh air," Chloe hedged. "And Leticia said…"

"Said what?"

"Um, that she thought you might be bored."

That was good enough for him. He'd be grateful for any reason that led to them spending time together. "Well, Leticia's always right."

Chloe thought of Leticia's assertion that Johnny would be "over the moon" to see her, and of her matchmaker twinkling eyes, wondering if she truly was always right. "I'll tell her you said that."

"Uh oh."

They laughed for a moment, leaning against the limo side-by-side. Simultaneously, they quieted, both thinking the same thoughts… thinking about Carly.

"I hope she's doing all right in there."

"Me too. I'm sure… I'm sure she is."

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Carly moved through the party like a ghost, quickly but quietly. She tried to eat some of the food from her plate, but everything tasted the same to her… pretty much like nothing. She kept her head down and prayed that no one would approach her, at least not before Sonny came back. She didn't know why she bothered to worry about that though. No one here wanted to talk to her. No one was here for her. With the exception of Leticia and Chloe, and maybe Mike, everyone only came because Bobbie asked them to. And even Mike really came for Sonny.

Sonny… What was taking him so long? He had probably only been gone five minutes, but it felt like forever.

In the kitchen, Emily and Elizabeth… plus Amy, who was tired of flirting with Tony to no avail… were gathered for a little gossip.

"You know, if you had told me before about what would happen to Sonny and Carly," voiced Elizabeth, "I would have said…"

Just then, Carly reached the other side of the kitchen door on her way to get a soda. She stopped when she heard the voices, only in fact hearing the words that would follow.

"… a child is lucky to be spared Carly as a mother, and Sonny will leave her now that she's no longer pregnant…"

Carly felt her heart stop beating. Carly felt sick to her stomach. Carly felt truly worthless in that moment, and the voices in her head drowned out anything further that was said. It's true… It's true… They know it's true.

She couldn't breathe. She had to get out of there. She didn't think about anything. She just headed for the door, and once outside, started running.

She missed Elizabeth saying, "But I don't think that anymore. This baby was obviously a lot more than just a meal ticket to her. And have you seen the way Sonny looks at her and how he's been taking care of her tonight?"

And Amy saying, "I saw it at the hospital. They were going through hell, but the way they were with each other was really beautiful… Did I just say that about Sonny Corinthos and Carly Benson?"

And Emily saying, "Carly Corinthos, you mean. And you're right. I was at their wedding. I really think Sonny loves her. They love each other, baby or not."

Elizabeth raised her glass of iced tea. "I never thought I'd say this, but here's to Sonny and Carly."

clink-clink-clink

"WHERE'S CARLY??" boomed Sonny from the very center of the party, having made his way back inside, and looking around to find his wife nowhere in sight.