This is the next chapterzio.
Please forgive me if my chapter is a bit cukoo…
You see, I have witnessed a horrific sight when my Geography teacher dropped a pencil and bent over to pick it up…
I have been traumatized ever since.
NOTE: I AM NOT Chinese and I am not Irish. You will be confused by this statement until you actually read this chapter.
I also don't like Orlando Bloom because my fragile heart belongs to the magnificent CHAD.
You won't understand this statement either because you have to read the chapter to understand a single bit of sanity being typed by me.
Leave a review on your way out, by the way. I love to get responses.
Again, please forgive me for the pure insanity you are about to witness…
31
-----MOUSE'S P.O.V.-----
You know, by now, after everyone's finished digging their holes, we go to the Wreck Room.
On a regular day, I would've seen:
-X-Ray gambling shower tokens with the other camp members, winning every time. He would always stand up and dance around in circles and singing "Everyone Bow To Me."
-Zigzag would be watching the busted television he and I have so lovingly called "Kitty" . He would be blasting with laughter because 'Marcia had a bitch fight with Jan Brady'.
-Armpit would be breakdancing, making some people faint in place every time he raised his arms.
-Squid would be playing pool, complaining someone was cheating every time he lost.
-Magnet would be somewhere outside, or in other people's tents stealing small things like shampoo and q-tips. He once stole the Warden's spatula, and he tried using it as shovel…. He didn't finish until 8 P.M.
Idiot.
-Caveman would be attempting to play pool, or would just be sprawled on the couch picking his nose. Well, that's what he used to do before he began teaching Zero how to read.
-And Zero. Our beloved Zero would be sitting innocently on his cot, trying to spell the word "m-o-m-." I once heard him talk about his mother…
"I remember I lived in a yellow room," he said once.
But Zero was gone, now.
Zero's gone.
I went to the Wreck room with that one thought on my mind.
Zero's gone.
Right after I stepped through the musty doorway, I noticed something was wrong.
Everybody was looking at…
Yes, I think they were looking at…
Me.
In case you, the reader haven't noticed…
I am one ugly beefcake…
Imagine an Asian with red hair. Now imagine that red-haired Asian with dark green eyes. Now add that horrific image with a stick-figure body and no boobs.
And there's me.
No need to blame my genes. My mother is Chinese, and my father happens to be Irish.
The only person who seemed to be interested in my non-existent ass was a Hillbillie from Houston who pinched my right butt cheek and asked if I had a sister.
I will repeat that: He asked if I had a sister.
He'd rather get a sister I never had than me.
Scary, isn't it?
Two boys were whispering in a very "manly" way and kept stealing glances in my direction.
One of them was good old Masher, and the other one had unhumanly red hair and freckles. For a 16-year old, he looked like a freckled eight-year old.
He wasn't…I repeat, he WAS NOT wearing an orange jumpsuit.
Why was he here, then? Was he new?
He was wearing this leather black jacket with blue jeans, and his red hair was swept back by too much gel. He also wore sunglasses too big for his face.
He looked like a skinny John Travolta with a bad dye job.
"Just watch" I heard him mumble confidently to his friend the Masher.
He swaggered towards me with an "attempted" masculine stride.
"Hya." he said in a very bad imitation of seduction.
I blinked.
"Spoon." I said.
One of his orange-red eyebrows raised over his sunglasses.
"Excuse me?" He said.
The tone in which he had said this struck a nerve... 'excuse me?'
That sounded familiar.
I sighed. I was going through another one of those phases again. Like when I said I wanted M&M's.
Don't look at me that way!
It's not MY fault I'm like this you know…blame the naughty monkeys in bikinis that hide in the Warden's closet and whisper evil things to me…
"Spoon."
"Um…okay." He smiled.
"Spoon."
"My name's Charlie…Charlie Walker. You might know my mother…" His arrogance came up again, and he swiped his fingernails proudly upon his shirt. "The Warden."
I nodded patiently. "Spoon."
"I come every year during the summer when my dad goes out on business. You know, I've been looking forward to see the all-famous test-girl of Camp Greenlake."
He looked me up and down.
"Don't they let you wear bras in this place?" He asked, criticizing my flat chest.
This boy is evil.
My ears heated up and I looked away in shame.
I think I even whimpered.
He laughed nervously. "J-just kidding! You're really sexy! SEXY BYATCH! WOOHOO!" he said a little too loudly and everyone went quiet to look at him.
Scary guy…scary guy…back away from the scary guy…
"Spo-oO-on…"
"Uh kay… you know you're not very bright…Why did they send a Japaneseee girl here?"
He bent over so his height was level with mine.
" THIS. IS. AY-MERICA, JAPANEESEEE GIRL… GO BACK TO---"
Someone punched him in the face.
Surprise, surprise! It was me.
"Spoon!"
TRANSLATION: I am Chinese, dumbass.
The boys in the background cheered and said things like, "You go, girl!"
Zigzag choked on a potato chip.
Armpit slapped ZigZag's back and he spat the potato chip at a C-tenter's face.
Caveman stared blankly, picking his nose.
"You fucking racist Spoon!" I cried with helpless tears in my eyes.
I stormed off.
---------------------------
Two days have passed, and Charlie was still lurking around, acting tough around the A-tenters.
Everytime he saw me, his eye twitched and he turned away.
"Not now, I'm busy thinking about Orlando Bloom."
Who's that?
"The love of my life."
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
"What the hell is so funny?"
Um…your face!
"That was original."
Like you can think up of anything better.
-
(A/N: Please forgive me for using Orlando Bloom. I just got really sick of my friends talking about him in shcool)
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-
--------DIGGING HOLES:--------
-----MAGNET'S P.O.V.------
(TRANSLATED FROM SPANISH TO ENGLISH BY THE OMNIPRESENT AUTHOR-PERSON)
A cloud had passed over the sun. This was a miracle.
Mouse was digging her hole, and stopped as she stared darkly at the sun from over her shoulder.
"I hate you." she hissed through her clenched teeth.
Her wild eyes darted unstably around her eye sockets.
"I hate you, Sun!" she said a little louder, shaking her fist at the skies.
From the distance, the water truck arrived with lunch. The door opened and Mr. Sir and Charlie Walker stepped out.
"Alright, boys. Today's lunch is stale apples and expired muffins along with baloney sandwiches."
He spat a sunflower seed onto the ground.
"Enjoy."
Charlie set up the food and glanced at Mouse out of the corner of his eye. He wasn't wearing his sunglasses. He had a shiner on one eye.
I suddenly remembered Mouse had broken his sunglasses when she punched him in the face. This explain his black eye, too.
From behind me, I caught mouse talking to her lunch.
"Why don't you taste better?" she demanded her muffin.
Charlie looked at me confusingly.
"So she's always like that?" He asked worriedly.
"Not since a while ago." I said sadly.
"Listen, Magnet. Tell her I'm sorry I said that racist---"
"WHY DON'T YOU TASTE BETTER?" She demanded the muffin, her eyes were blaring with a glimmer of insanity.
Most people were used to her that way, but Charlie stared at her in frightened fascination.
"ANSWER ME!"
The muffin seemed to be trembling in fear.
"TASTE BETTER! I COMMAND YOU!"
People began…to stare.
Pendanski literally grabbed his gun.
The merciless cloud made a deal with the Sun, and evaporated, making the land extremely hot again.
Mouse covered her eyes as the brightness blinded her.
"THE LIGHT! THE LIGHT! THE MURDEROUS, CORROSIVE LIGHT!" She covered her eyes with her forearms.
Charlie's mouth opened, which might as well have attracted a swarm of 300 bees, and fit them all in there.
"YOU ARE USELES TO ME, YOU TASTELESS CRUMB!"
She shook the pitiful muffin violently in her hands.
"You deserve nothing but suffering!"
She threw the muffin up into the air, hoping it would knock the sun off the sky.
"TAKE THAT, SUN!"
Mouse stared motionlessly as it sailed into the blue yonder.
"Die… Die you fiend."
After laughing her head off, she went back to digging, as if nothing had happened.
A few seconds later, the muffin came plunging down and it bounced (way) off Armpit's large behind.
"Hey! Who did that?" Armpit turned around, tripped, and fell on his ass.
There was a silence, with the occasional snorting from some people who tried to contain their laughter.
"I said…Who did that?" Armpit glared at everyone accusingly.
Mouse jumped out of her four-foot hole with superhuman strength and pointed a jabbing finger at Squid.
"IT WAS HE WHO DEFIED YOU, MY LORD!"
Squid looked pale.
"What? No---I---She---I never--- I didn't…"
No one upsets Armpit.
No one.
Armpit rammed his blunt head towards the scared-stiff Squid like a charging goat. A very enormous goat.
He jumped 10 feet into the air and hurled himself towards Squid like a giant bowling ball towards a small, defenseless bowling pin.
"No no no no no no no no----"
And he crushed the most wide-eyed Squid I've ever seen.
Everyone was quiet.
A tumbleweed passed by.
Still, everyone was quiet.
The silence was broken by the sound of a donkey.
Actually, it turned out that the donkey was Charlie Walker.
He was bending over and clutching his stomach with one hand, and pointing at Armpit with the other.
"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AHYUK! AHYUK! AHYUK! AHYUK!"
Everyone stared at him.
"OH MY GAWD! THAT IS THE FUNNIEST FUCKING THING I'VE EVER SEEN!"
He went on laughing.
And laughing…
And laughing…
Until Mouse crept up behind him and knocked him unconscious with his shovel.
She dropped the shovel and began doing a Native American victory dance around Charlie's unconscious body.
-------------------
An hour had passed, and Charlie had just woken up.
Even though he had almost died, Charlie decided to stay and watch D-Tent monotonously dig holes all day long.
He kept stealing glances at Mouse, who was now innocently digging her almost-finished hole.
Armpit kept snapping his head in Squid's direction every once in a while with a suspicious look on his face.
Squid was there, his knees were so weak he was trembling.
He was digging his hole with a large white bandage around his face. There was a large, bandaged ball in the middle of his face where his nose was supposed to be.
Everyone seemed to be mad at Mouse.
Well, except for me.
I'm the innocent one of the gang. I never cause trouble or find myself in confrontations of any kind.
Well, except for all those days when I sneak into people's tents and steal stuff….
Oh, and the times when I secretly steal things and make it look like someone else stole them just to cause trouble…
And then there were the moments when I take out Squid's toy and draw pictures all over it, and then make it look like someone else did it…
And there was that time when I threw that donut…
That's enough stupid! You're getting irritante, ahora mismo.
Wow. I'm talking to myself….That's nice.
I need a taco.
…
Curses!
I broke another nail.
Damn those long hours of exhausting digging.