DISCLAIMER: I'm not Meyer. I'm not Andrews. I'm not a professional writer and don't own any rights to these characters. I just like to make them say a bunch of stuff Meyer would never put to paper.
A/N: Many thanks for all the comments and well wishes from the last chapter. As you can tell, this chapter came to me much quicker. I do read all my comments, more than once (or twice…), and try to respond if you ask a question. Otherwise, it gets kind of repetitious to just say "Thanks for reading" every single time. In regards to the commenters on Twilighted, I really have stopped responding over there all together. Most people don't realize you can change your settings to be notified when an author responds to you. So if I go and respond, you'll never know anyway and I wasted my time for nothing. If you really want an answer to something the best thing for you to do is to post at fan fic[dot]net, my thread at Twilighted, or follow me on Twitter (LegacyFF). But please, the peeps over at Twilighted, don't stop commenting! I love comments! I'm a comment whore! If you want a response back, use one of the other methods to get in touch with me.
The final scene of this chapter was actually inspired by a commenter over on Twilighted. They posted that they thought Edward wasn't dealing enough with his emotions. I was mulling that over and thought of the end scene. So please, I do love to hear from you. You may never know what you may encourage me to write!
The shopping trip will be in the next chapter. I am now accepting suggestions for Christmas presents. Please pass your thoughts on this subject to me! I have a few ideas but am totally clueless at other character/present combination's. Remember, although Edward technically has money now, he's not used to spending it on himself or others.
To the person who said that I forgot to include Jackson Rathbone in Alice's list of friends – I used his real first name—Monroe—instead of his middle name (Jackson). I's tricky like that!
Chapter 25: Saying Good-bye (When You Don't Need To)
The next morning I didn't wake up to the usual smell of breakfast being cooked downstairs. Yeah, I had heard that Carlisle wasn't much of a cook at all. While I hopped in the shower, I prayed there was some cereal in the house. Hell, I'd settle for a pop tart or toast.
Today was an anniversary of sorts. It wasn't the usual anniversary that people always happily celebrated. A week ago today my life was turned upside down after the dance and within a few hours I found out I wasn't who I thought I was. I thought I was doing pretty damn well adjusting for the most part.
You know, aside from causing my sister to have panic attacks, my brother had started lying to our parents, I punched a locker, I caused Esme to cry, and Carlisle didn't seem to know what to do with me. Oh, and I couldn't bring myself to call my parents anything but their first names. I still didn't know what to do with my feelings for Peter and Elizabeth Masen. No matter how hard I tried, I still thought of them often. Did they really love me? Why did they take me? Was everything they ever did and said to me a lie?
Hell, I was surprised I wasn't the one having panic attacks. That was all I fucking needed.
Turning off the shower, I vowed I wasn't going to be the next one to fall apart. I dried off and wrapped myself in the towel while I brushed my teeth. When I opened the door and stepped back into my bedroom, I found Emmett lounging on my bed with a rectangular box.
"You are so lucky that I don't like to walk around naked in my room," I told him. "What the hell are you doing here so early?"
"Hello and good morning to you too, sunshine. I'm good by the way," he said, sitting up and stretching.
"Good morning, Emmett," I said while heading to my closet. "Now, what the hell do you want?"
"Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed," he stated calmly. "Carlisle asked me to bring this up to you."
I grabbed a gray t-shirt, the green button up shirt that Alice had bought for me, and then got a pair of jeans, boxers, socks from my dresser. "What is it?"
Emmett held up the box. "Well, it says HP as in Hewlett Packard, so I do believe it'd be a laptop."
"For me?" I continued to stand next to my dresser with my clothes in my arms. I wasn't going to drop my towel in front of Emmett.
"No, for my smart, funny, smart ass brother who seems to have disappeared and been replaced with your cranky pain in the ass," he said and rose from my bed. "There's breakfast downstairs when you're ready."
"Emmett, wait, I'm sorry if it seems like I'm being an ass," I said still standing near by dresser while Emmett paused at the door. "I didn't mean to take it out on you."
"I know." He stared at me for a moment. "We're all worried about Alice. Find the brother that I like—you know, the smart, funny smart ass—and send his ass downstairs. Cranky pants can stay up here."
Emmett turned and left, closing the door behind him without another word. I changed, grabbed my backpack, and headed downstairs to the kitchen. Placing my bag on the back of my chair, I now smelled food but it didn't smell as good as Esme's. Emmett helped Rose and the two of them made scrambled eggs, toast, and bacon. The eggs weren't runny, the toast wasn't burnt, and the bacon was cooked well enough so that it wasn't all white and fatty. It wasn't Esme's cooking, but at least their future children wouldn't starve to death.
Grabbing a glass, I poured myself some milk and filled a plate up with food. Carlisle was perusing through the newspaper or at least trying to. "Mornin', Carlisle. Any update on Alice?" I asked as I put my plate and glass down and then slid into my seat.
Jasper appeared at the bottom of the stairs and walked over to us. "How's Alice?"
"I was just going to tell Edward that I called and they said her heart rate and oxygen levels were fine overnight," he said while folding the newspaper. "She's going to be released later today but I want her to take it easy."
"No incidents or anything?" I asked.
"No, none at all last night although Esme thinks she had a bad dream because she was all over the bed at one point for a few minutes."
Jasper sighed and sat down. "She can be a kicker in her sleep." Realizing what he said, Jasper now had a weird look on his face. I guessed that Jasper never talked to Carlisle about the fact that he was sleeping in the same bed as his daughter. I'd be mortified too if I had to fess up to Charlie about sleeping in the same bed as Bella.
"I know what you two are up to," Carlisle admitted with a slight blush to his cheeks. "Whose health insurance do you think Alice is under? Esme and I talk about these things too. I wasn't letting any daughter of mine go on birth control without a good reason."
"I'm glad at least one of us has a cool set of parents between us," Jasper said as he got up to get some breakfast and he patted Carlisle's shoulder when he walked past. "Thanks, Mr. C."
"What's with the laptop?" I asked between bites of food. "I didn't ask for one."
"Alice and Emmett each have one of their own," Carlisle explained. "Esme and I thought that it'd be best for you to have one too."
"Oh, um, well, thanks. That was quite unexpected and generous of you," I confessed. Jazz offered to go through everything with me since I was the least technological of all of us. I learned what was taught in school, but other than that, I had minimal experience with computers because I never owned one. Gathering information on the Internet was about as far as I ever got. I didn't even have an email address.
When everyone had sat down at the table, Carlisle spoke up again. "I know you were supposed to make a trip to Port Angeles tonight, but Esme and I feel that Alice shouldn't go."
"You do know she's gonna wanna kill you for saying 'no' to shopping, right, Carlisle?" Jasper asked.
"Make sure there are no sharp knives around when you tell Alice you're canceling a shopping trip," Rose said. "Otherwise, you never know where a knife may land."
"Since I feel like keeping all my body parts intact, Esme thought it'd be a good idea if we put the trip off until tomorrow," Carlisle explained. "That way, we could go with you. We don't have to be with you the entire time but it would make us feel a lot better if we were nearby."
I tried imagining Carlisle and Esme hanging out at the mall. Nope, couldn't quite picture it. "What are you going to do all day while we're there?"
"Probably holding Esme's purse while she shops for shoes," Carlisle groaned. "Or handbags."
Emmett laughed. "Dad, you are so whipped."
"I know, I know!" Carlisle said with a shake of his head. "You all need to get going to school. I'll take care of the dishes and then head to the hospital."
"Give Alice a kiss for me when you see her, okay?" Jasper asked as he slung his bag over his shoulder.
"Will do," Carlisle said. "When you get home she'll be here too."
Jasper started to get into a funk again. "Good, I miss her."
"We all do, Jasper," I told him. "Come on man, let's go to school so we can get this day over with."
Jasper and I picked up Bella with his car and then we met Emmett and Rose at school. In the parking lot we were being stared at once again. Ciara and Robert saw us and ran over to us. "Hey, how's Alice? There's nothing really serious with her, is there?" Ciara asked while holding onto Robert's hand. "Is she going to get out of the hospital soon?"
Robert laughed. "Baby, one question at a time."
"She's going to come home later today. Thanks for asking about her," Emmett informed them. "We'll tell her you said hello."
And that's how most of the day went. The other students stared and then slowly gained confidence to greet me and asked how Alice was doing. Every single one of them said almost the same thing and reacted the same way. For the day, the conversations were stuck on repeat. How was Alice? Is she going to be okay? What's wrong with her? Is she coming home? Please tell her we said hello. We'll call later this weekend. Tell her if she needs to talk to call us.
At the end of the day I was worn out and stressed. I wanted nothing better than to climb into my own bed with Bella, cuddle, and fall asleep in her arms. Wow, I really must have been out of it because I left out the option of making out with Bella. What the hell was wrong with me?
Between Alice's sickness and my anniversary of officially becoming a Cullen, I was on edge and wanted nothing more than for the weekend to fly by. I had a bad feeling that wasn't going to happen.
When we arrived home that afternoon Carlisle was right—Alice was upstairs in her room. She was watching a movie but paused it as soon as we all burst through her door. Jasper dropped his bag on my foot and practically ran to her bedside. For once in my life, I actually restrained my verbal diarrhea and simply removed the bag from my foot and placed it against the wall where it was joined by our bags as well.
"How ya feelin', Midg?" I asked from the foot of her bed. Bella was standing next to me, holding my hand while everyone else had sat down on Alice's bed.
"I'm feeling okay, Eddie. Glad to no longer be hooked up to those damn monitors," she said as Jasper wrapped his arm around her shoulders and she sunk into him.
"You look tired, sis." Emmett commented. "Didn't they let you get any sleep last night?"
"Between the beeping of the machines, Mom hovering, and the nurses coming in every two hours to take my temperature and blood pressure, no, I didn't get much sleep," she said stifling a yawn. "And they wondered why I wanted to sleep through breakfast?"
"Damn bitches!" I exclaimed, and Alice burst out laughing. "Esme must be tired too then?"
"Yeah, Dad told her to go take a nap as soon as we got home but she went and made a few phone calls first," she said. "I'm sorry, I'm about to pass out as well."
"You know we're not going shopping tonight, right baby?" Jasper asked.
"Dad broke the news to me, and I'm actually okay with that," she said. "We can make a day of it tomorrow and take our time. I do not want to end up back in that damn hospital. You still need to get things, right, Eddie?"
"Yeah, but it's not really important, Midg. If you need to stay home you should. Bella can go with me and show me around the mall, right?"
"And how are you going to get there?" Alice asked with a sly smile.
"Damned if I know," I confessed. "Flap our arms and fly? Oh, Rose dear, how's your car doing?" I knew Rose's car was in the shop being looked at because she was having some trouble with the transmission. She and Emmett knew how to work on cars to a certain degree, but they couldn't figure out what was wrong and it had to be looked at by a professional.
"The poor girl is still in the shop," Rose said. "I think it might need a new transmission."
"Ouch," I said. "I'm not all that worried about the shopping, Midg."
"I want to go so as long as I get some sleep and feel better, I'm going tomorrow." Alice said sternly. Clearly, she had her mind made up and was not going to be talked out of a shopping excursion. It could be put on hold but not called off completely.
"Just don't over do it tomorrow," Emmett said. "I don't want to be carrying you to the car because you passed out or some shit."
Bella laughed next to me. "Em, you were totally channeling Edward there."
"Emmett's right though," Jasper said. "Don't over do it tomorrow, okay?" He took her hand and squeezed it.
"I won't over do it." Alice turned and planted a kiss on Jasper's cheek and then turned to us. "Okay, if we're doing this tomorrow, I need to catch a few Z's now!"
She shooed us away, including Jasper, and we headed out her door but something felt off for me. "I need a minute with Alice, don't worry, I'll be quick," I said before rushing back into her room and closing the door behind me. "How I left yesterday… well, that was really fucked up. I'm sorry."
Alice had started to lie down but sat back up when I entered. Slowly, I made my way toward her bed and sat down on the edge next to her. "I don't want you to be stressing out because of me." Alice tried to speak, but I ignored her and continued. "You mean a lot to me and I don't want you feeling like you're having a heart attack and ready to pass out because you're afraid of getting me all upset. Just be yourself, Midg. The rest will fall into place… eventually."
"Get your skinny little ass over here and give me a hug," she said with a smile.
I edged closer to Alice and wrapped my arms around her short frame. "So, in other words, knock your shit off and act like yourself."
Alice chuckled and removed her arms from me. "I'll be damned if I can figure out how Bella ever fell for you."
"Honestly, that makes the two of us. I'll go now so you can take a nap." As I rose from my position on the bed, I leaned over and kissed Alice on the forehead. "I'll send your little whore boy up in an hour or so to wake you. Deal, Midg?"
"Thanks, Eddie," she said. "Thanks for the talk."
"No problem, sis, I'll see you later."
While Alice slept, the rest of us did our homework. After an hour Jasper went upstairs to check on Alice and found her still sleeping peacefully, so he decided to let her nap more. In the meantime, Bella and Rose were doing girly things in Alice's room, and Jasper and Emmett helped me set up my brand spankin' new laptop. They did a system back up in case it crashed in the future, which was a possibility because of my lack of knowledge in regards to technology. One wrong press of a key and kablowie! Computers couldn't blow up literally, right? Emmett configured it so that I could connect to the internet via the wireless router, whatever the hell that was. All I knew was that it enabled me to get onto the internet. Although I didn't see much need for an email address, they both thought I should sign up for a free Gmail account. Then we had the task of figuring out what I wanted my user name to be. I didn't even want to mention the crude, rude, and weird things Emmett suggested. That boy was seriously sick and twisted at times. And I mean worse than me! Who would've thunk it, huh? I settled on eacullen91 because it was something I'd easily remember.
Even though my mind was being kept occupied with Jasper and Emmett, I kept on thinking of one thing. With Alice so unsure of her position in my life and not knowing how to act around me, I thought it might be a good idea to give her the letter that was supposed to be my goodbye. Then again, if I showed Alice hers and the others found out about it, would they want their letters too?
Esme woke from her nap and started the process of making dinner. Since she still looked tired, I offered to help. All we needed was another female in this family to be in the hospital. Jasper went upstairs, woke Alice up, and they came back downstairs. Dinner was a calm experience. We mostly told Alice about all her well wishers at school. For once, it was nice for everyone's eyes to be on someone else rather than me.
After dinner, Carlisle shooed us away and said that he'd help Esme clean up. We usually all hung out in Emmett's room because it was so large and he had the most awesome entertainment center. Instead, that night we gathered in Alice's room with her more modest thirty-two inch flat screen television (as opposed to Emmett's sixty-five incher) and decided to bunker down for a movie. That way, Alice could be comfortable in her bed, and if she fell asleep we could leave and not worry about moving her. Emmett and Rose took the couch while Bella and I stretched out on the end of Alice's large bed. By the end of the movie I thought she would've passed out from exhaustion but she was still wide awake.
"How ya feelin', Midg?" I turned so I could see the expression on her face.
"Okay, I guess," she shrugged her shoulders. Jasper was sitting next to her and she was leaning against him. "I'm a little tired but I don't want to go to sleep for the night yet."
My eyes fell to the bed where her hands were resting. Her fingers were twisting the comforter and I flashed back to the hospital and to when she was twisting the sheets. I covered her hand with mine. "Calm down," I said and sat up. "I'll be right back." I ran over to my room, opened my closet door, removed the lid on the large Rubbermaid container, and dug out the letters I had written.
Here goes nothing.
Back in Alice's room, I walked over to her bed with my head down staring at the manila envelope in my hands that the letters were in. Jasper was sitting on Alice's left so I settled on the right side of the bed. Bella was sitting up at the end of the bed while Emmett and Rose were still on the couch.
"What's going on, Eddie?"
"I never stayed in one town for very long—fifteen states in seventeen years is a lot. Before coming to Forks I never even tried to make friends. I had decided long ago that it wasn't worth getting close to people to have to be torn from them weeks or months later," I explained. "And then you all came into my life. For a while there, I thought I was going to have to leave again. When that time came, I wanted to be able to thank you all for your friendship, but I didn't know how. Somehow it came to me to write letters to all of you and I'd go and mail them to Emmett and ask him to pass them out to everyone."
As I opened the manila envelope, I felt all their eyes trained on me. "So, Midg, with everything going on, I thought maybe you should read your letter."
I took out the stack of letters, all of them neatly folded with their names on the outside, and sifted through them until I found Alice's. "I think you need to read it so you stop stressing out so much," I said as I passed Alice her letter. "Here."
Alice took it from me tentatively and slowly opened it. I sat and watched her read it, her eyes darting back and forth over the words. She smiled, bit her lip, and laughed. And then she sniffed and she had tears in her eyes.
"Thank you for embracing me and for accepting me into your family, no questions asked. Thank you for the wonderful memories. You have given me many things, but I will cherish the memories of being with you the most," Alice recited from the letter. Alice wiped away her tears with the back of her hand. "Aw, Eddie."
Jasper, who I assumed was able to read the entire letter over Alice's shoulder, spoke up. "That was really sweet. Do we get to see our letters now too?"
"I brought them here because I assumed you'd all want yours after I gave Alice hers," I confessed while looking through the letters for Jasper's and handing it over to him. "I guess you're next."
He opened the letter and started reading. "In between Lincoln and Johnson, there was Hale," he laughed. "That was good. I'm sure Drummond wanted to kill us that day."
Jasper continued to read. "Thank you for the clothes, the fun times and, most importantly, letting me be your friend. I appreciate everything you have done for me and will always remember you, whore."
"Your letter was the first one I wrote," I said nervously.
"I can tell, it's not as heart felt as Alice's," he said. I was stunned but Jasper cracked a smile. "I'm kidding, man! I appreciate the thought of you wanting to say good-bye to us. I know these letters must have been hard to write."
"Shit, whore!" I laughed and retrieved Rose's letter from the pile. "Rose, you're up next."
Jasper took the letter from me and passed it over to Rose on the couch. She looked at Emmett, then the letter, and started to read. As she read the words she smiled and like Alice and Jasper, chose a passage to recite out loud. "Rose, you have a very warm and open heart. That's what those girls in school are jealous of. They know that you are better than all of them put together. You're also wrapped…" her voice trailed off and she cleared her throat. Remembering what I had written, I was glad that Rose had chosen not to read that specific portion aloud. Then she laughed and spoke again, "Speaking of Emmett, I wish the two of you the best of luck. I can't believe the two of you danced around each other for so long. He's a great guy and he'll treat you like a Princess. Always remember to turn your bitch switch on when you have to."
Rose held the letter against her chest. Emmett put his arm around her shoulders and she leaned into him while he placed a kiss on her forehead. "Thanks, Edward, I love it."
"Am I next?" Emmett asked.
I nodded and saw my note of 'Open First' on Emmett's letter. So much for that! "Kind of fitting, too. Yours and Bella's were the last two I wrote."
Once again Jasper took the letter from me and passed it to Emmett. He opened it up and started reading from the very beginning.
"Dear Emmett,
If you're reading this letter then it means my family had to leave Forks. I wasn't sure that I'd be able to say a proper good-bye to everyone. I decided that I'd write letters to all of you and mail them to your house for everyone. Please make sure everyone gets their letter so they can read them.
Thank you for accepting me into your small circle of friends. I was honored beyond belief when you referred to me as a friend after such a short amount of time. Thank you for accepting me as I am and not judging me. You wanted to help me, but you never made jokes about my social status. You saw my room and you questioned it, but you never made any rude comments like some people would have. You just shrugged your shoulders and waved it off like everyone uses a huge ass Rubbermaid container as a dresser.
Be good to Rose and I know she'll be good to you. She's a great gal and she's been crushin' on you for a long time. I can't believe you thought she was interested in me. Then again, you failed kindergarten so you can be slow at times. HA HA HA I had to take one last kindergarten-related stab at you, even if it's in a letter. Sometimes, I just can't help myself."
Emmett paused. "I'm sure that won't be your last kindergarten-related stab at me now."
"Damn skippy," I said. "Do continue."
"Thank you for the good times in English, Photography, and lunch. Thank you for accepting me into your home. Thank you for all the rides to and from work, school, and everywhere else we went."
Emmett paused and bit his lip, but he couldn't seem to continue. He stared at the letter for a moment and one of his gigantic hands swiped at his eyes. Clearing his throat, he opened his mouth but nothing came out. Finally he managed to eek out an 'excuse me' which was barely audible while his eyes were trained on the floor. He rose from the couch and then up and out of Alice's room he went, closing the door behind him.
"I think you just made Emmett cry!" Rose exclaimed. "I can't make Emmett cry!"
"I didn't mean to!" I said. "Should I go check on him?"
Rose shook her head at me. "Uh huh. I'm sure he doesn't want any of us girls seeing him in that state. Right, Jazz?"
"Probably, although, with all of us being as close as we are, maybe not. I don't know. Edward, it's your fault, you go!" Jasper said unconvincingly.
"Aww, man." I said with a shaky voice. "He's gonna wanna kill me. I don't have a will. Then again, I don't have anything to give to anyone. You already have your letters."
Bella leaned toward me and squeezed my knee. "He won't kill you. He might want to hurt you, but he won't kill you."
"Some supportive girlfriend you are!"
"I'm just callin' 'em as I see 'em, honey," she said with a shrug of her shoulders. "Go talk to your brother."
As I walked to the door, I knew they were all staring at me. I felt like I was an inmate on death row. "Godspeed, Edward!" Rose said with a slight smile. She loved this.
I glanced at Rose and stuck my tongue out at her. "Stop that!"
When I opened Alice's door, I immediately spotted Emmett sitting on the steps with his back facing me. I slowly walked over to him, my heart in my throat, unsure of how he was going to react to me at this time. His chin was resting on his right hand, which was formed into a fist, while he clutched his letter in his left hand. Staring straight ahead, he greeted me when he heard me.
"I can't read the rest of it out loud," he sniffed. "Not in front of them."
"So read it to me."
Emmett continued to stare straight ahead. "You wrote the letter. You know what it says."
I shrugged my shoulders. "So read it to me anyway."
He exhaled and wiped at his eyes once again. I don't think any tears had fallen down his cheeks, but he was more emotional right now than he'd ever like to be. Holding the letter in front of him, Emmett started to read the remaining words.
"Thank you for thinking I was cool enough to hang with you and your friends. Both you and Alice have such warm and generous hearts. Don't ever let anyone take advantage of you because of your generosity. Don't ever change who you are for anyone. Thank you for your advice and your camaraderie. Thank you for being you. Thank you for being the brother I never had. Love you and I will never forget you… Edward."
His voice cracked near the end again and I could see him blinking rapidly. "I knew you could read, you big galoot. You didn't fail Kindergarten so bad after all."
Emmett's shoulders started to shake and I feared an avalanche of tears. I was relieved when I heard laughter erupt from his chest. "You are never going to let me live that down, are you?"
"Hell no! I've got years of picking on you to make up for!"
He finally turned his head and looked at me. "I'm the older brother; I'm supposed to pick on you, not the other way around!"
"Pft," I said and pretended to punch his shoulder. "You're such a nice guy, I know you would've switched it up for me!"
"Oh yeah?" he laughed. "Think again!"
How a big guy like Emmett could move so fast was beyond me. Before I knew it he had gotten up from his position on the stairs, grabbed me, and picked me up. I was half draped over his shoulder with my skinny ass in the air, my legs dangling across his chest.
"Don't throw me down the stairs!" I yelled. "I won't make it out alive!"
Alice's bedroom door swung open at my loud and exuberant pleas for help. "What are you doing?" Rose said sternly. "Emmett, put Edward down!"
"He's trying to kill me!" I said excitedly. "I'm sorry, Emmett!"
"Put my brother down!" Alice yelled from her place on the bed. "Bella, go save your boyfriend!"
Jasper and Bella appeared in the doorway behind Rose. "Emmett's finally gone off his rocker," Jasper mumbled lowly. "Too bad there's gotta be casualties!"
"Jasper!" Bella punched Jasper's arm. "Go help Edward."
I wasn't used to being upside down for such a long period of time. All the blood in my body felt like it was rushing to my head. "Let me down, doofus, I'm getting light headed."
"I wasn't killing him, damn it," Emmett said as he placed me back on my feet. "I was just putting a good scare into him."
Jasper had come over to help me and Emmett had put me upright too quickly. Dizzy as hell, I swayed and knocked into Jasper and the two of us ended up in a pile on the floor. I heard Bella and Rose laughing their cute collective asses off. "Emmett, maybe it's a good thing we didn't grow up together after all. I think I'd be entirely gray thanks to you."
"Not only that, but I probably would've had some broken bones trying to save your skinny little ass," Jasper said. "Get off me, damn it!"
I rolled off of Jasper and looked up to see that Alice had joined Bella and Rose in the doorway. "I wish I would have seen this happening," Alice said with a smirk. "I would have totally taped it."
"Feelin' the love, totally am." Emmett extended his hand to Jasper and helped him up. Then he did the same for me. The girls shook their heads at each other, smiled, and walked back into Alice's room. Jasper gave us a quick look and then followed the girls.
I turned to Emmett, who had a huge grin on his face. "I didn't mean to make you cry, man."
"I know." He bent down, picked the letter up off the floor, and shoved it in his back pocket. "I knew it was a good-bye letter, but I didn't think it was going to go like that."
"That's what those types of letters are for, doofus." I smiled. "To say good-bye and tell someone what you think of them."
"Yeah, well, I didn't expect that," he shrugged. "And now I'm the brother you do have."
"I'm beginning to think you got the better end of the bargain." I winked, and he started laughing. "You didn't read that other part. At the very bottom."
Emmett reached into his pocket and withdrew the letter. Unfolding it, stared at the page and read it partially aloud. "He's my best friend…He's my champion…'Cause he's the savior of the universe…He can love…He's my brother… My brother won't let you down."
He folded the letter again and put it back in his pocket. "I'm no savior of… anything."
"Oh, just shut up and bask in the glow of me looking up to you," I said with a smile.
"You're always looking up to me, I hover over you."
I stepped toward him and squatted at him. "Well, in this case, I'm not talking about height."
He exhaled and turned to me. "Let's get back in there, moron."
"Shut up, dumbass."
"No way, poopy head."
"Poopy head?" I laughed. "Is that the best ya got?"
"Come on, bro." Emmett looked at me nervously, and I suddenly found myself in an embrace of big bro smothering. "Love you too, man."
He let me go from the hug and then put me in a headlock and ruffled my hair, not that anyone would notice with my hair being in an already messed up state. He dragged me in the headlock position to the door and then let me go.
"You two okay?" Bella asked.
I went and joined her at the foot of Alice's bed while Emmett rejoined Rose on the couch. "Yeah, we're good."
Bella picked up her letter up off the bed, held it between two of her fingers, and waved it at me. "Am I next?"
I remembered getting all emotional when I wrote Bella's letter. "Um, actually, can you read it later? It's kind of sappy and shit and I'd rather you not read it in front of everyone."
She thought about for a few seconds and quickly shrugged her shoulders. "That's okay with me. One of us has already cried this evening. I don't want to join that club."
"So I'm sensitive, shut up!" Emmett shouted. "I'm never going to live that down, am I?"
Rose leaned against Emmett's side and wrapped her arms around his waist. "Hell no, we'll never let you forget it. Don't be afraid to cry though. It just means that you have feelings."
"Yeah, why can't men cry?" Alice asked.
"It's a Class 4 Man Code Violation. Section 2, Paragraph 5, Subsection 14," Jasper said. "It's a big no no."
What the fuck were they talking about? I had no idea, but Bella called him out on it. "You are so full of it. There is no damn Man Code."
The next ten minutes were spent arguing over whether or not there was a Man Code, what it consisted of, and the three girls calling it a bunch of bullshit. Jasper and Emmett were full of it, but I tried to back them as much as possible even though I was mostly clueless. If they abided by a so-called Man Code, I had no idea what it detailed. Emmett and Rose left to go to Emmett's room, so I stuffed Bella's letter in my pocket and we said goodnight to Alice and Jasper and then went up to my room.
No sooner did I close my door than I felt myself being pushed up against it by Bella. "Where's my letter?" Her body was flush against mine and her fingers were hooked in the belt loops of my jeans. If she really wanted an answer then she shouldn't have started kissing me. Why did girls do that? They confuse the… oh hey now, where did her hands just go? I wrapped my arms around the beautiful girl in my arms and pushed her against me more. Her hands had wandered underneath my shirt and up my chest while she trailed kisses along my neck.
"Hello, sweet torture!" I groaned as my hands slid down and latched onto Bella's ass.
The sweet sound of laughter echoed in my ears. "You are too easy."
"Shhhh, don't spread that around," I chided her. "You might have to beat the girls off of me with a stick."
"I'll carry around a baseball bat if I have to," she said. "Now, where's my letter?"
"Back pocket of my jeans." As her teeth nibbled on my ear, her hands slowly traveled down my back and then each one slid into my back pockets. Instead of simply retrieving her letter and exiting my back pocket, she went and squeezed my ass. "Gah, woman, knock that off!"
Untangling herself from me, Bella smiled and stepped back. "I love it that I can make you so damn excited that you don't know what to do with yourself."
"You torture me in that way quite frequently, love," I said. "Let's go sit down."
I sat down on my bed with my back against the wall and Bella settled down in between my legs. "Am I going to need tissues like Emmett?"
Shrugging my shoulders, I answered honestly. "I really don't know. It depends on how emotional you are."
"Hello, I'm a female if you haven't noticed." Bella leaned her back against me, and I was able to lean forward and see her cleavage. The front of her shirt was not short enough to show much. Maybe I should talk Alice into buying Bella some nice plunging V-neck shirts. Oh, shit, I was horrible. Horrible and horny. Yeah, I was a normal teenage boy.
I snaked my arms around her waist. "Trust me, I know you're a female. There's tissues on the nightstand if you need 'em. Start anytime you're ready."
Bella unfolded her letter and started reading. Ten seconds later she spoke, "Damn right you confused me you stupid fuck!"
"Such a potty mouth, do continue," I instructed.
She went back to the letter, speaking random sentences aloud. "I haven't let myself open up to anyone in a long time. I can't tell you how much I'm going to miss you. I love each of you in a different way." Bella reached down and took one of my hands in hers.
"I'll always remember our trip to Wal-Mart and our first kiss in the photo booth," she said reminiscing. "I'll always remember that too, even if I did want to ask Emmett to kick your ass at the end of the day."
She laughed and threw her head back against my chest. "Thank you for being patient and understanding. Thank you for having a father that forgets to wear his holster so he can't shoot me with his pistol when he catches me in his daughter's bed."
Then Bella squeezed my hand and sniffed. Uh oh, it seemed as if tissue time may soon be upon us. "I will never, ever forget you… my time with you… or how important you became to me."
Folding the letter back up, Bella leaned over and placed it on the nightstand. She moved herself sideways in my lap so I could see her face. "Thank you," she said. "Edward, that was beautiful and funny and so… you. I would've never thought you could write something like that."
"I got mad skills like that. You know, like skills with a z at the end." She laughed, and I buried my face in her hair. "I thought I was going to have to leave. I wanted everyone to know how important they were to me."
"You're important to us too," she said glancing up at me. "You know that, right?"
"I guess," I said shrugging my shoulders. "I never really thought about it."
"You are, you effin' moron. And I mean that in the most affectionate way possible." Bella smiled at me, and I immediately melted into another pile of big horny goo.
I leaned down and placed a kiss on her forehead. She turned, tilted her head toward me, and I inched my face closer until our lips met. We kissed in that position until we needed to breathe.
"Bella," I said while gasping for air. "Do you think you could stay the night?"
"I don't know," she said smugly. Bella moved out of my arms and I wanted to complain and whine like a little boy who lost his favorite toy until I saw that she had simply lain down on my bed. Ah, a more comfortable position. Fuck, I didn't care the reasons behind it. Bella was lying on my bed and patting the space next to her. "Get over here and kiss me like that again. Maybe then I'll tell you if I can spend the night."
Fuckin' tease! But, oooh, please say yes, please say yes, please say yes.
I practically bolted out of my position on the bed—can you say overeager?—and landed next to Bella. And cue another really great make out session between the two of us where I saw, dare I utter the word aloud—BOOB! Swear to God, I nearly fainted.
Holy shit, it was gorgeous, but my sneak peak was a bit of an accident. Bella let my hands wander up her shirt and under her bra. We made a change of position and her shirt shifted and the utter delectable delight of the Gods snuck out for a minute and waved at me. Not literally, but you get the fuckin' point. And cue a fuckin' hard on. I groaned and Bella took that as sign that I liked how she was nibbling at my neck and she threw herself more into her task.
Was it possible to die from a raging boner? Probably. I was guessing the technical medical term would have to do more with the fact that all the blood in my body had pooled to some place other than my head. You know, not the one on my shoulders.
But OH MY GOD women have the most horrible timing, and that was when Bella decided to pull away from me. I groaned into her neck and said a silent adios to BOOB. I shall see you at another time. At least I hoped and prayed so. Say hello to your twin for me, mmm? Maybe both of you can come out and play next time.
"Any special reason you wanted me to stay over?"
I was on my back, and Bella was in one of those in between positions of being partially on top of me but off to the side. Her forearm was propped up and resting against my chest. And now she expected me to form a coherent thought. After I saw BOOB. "I, uh…" I trailed off. "Oh yeah, um, you know my life was turned upside down a week ago. I was hoping to hold onto something a little familiar tonight."
"Excuse accepted," she said and stretched out against me. "We have to go back to my house so I can get a few things though."
"Damn," I was quite comfortable in our current position. "You don't feel like wearing the same thing tomorrow, huh?"
"No, not at all," she said. "And I don't have anything to wear to bed."
"Oh, hell, you can sleep naked!" Oh, the thought of Bella's naked body up against mine was almost too much to handle.
"I don't think so, buddy." And with those words she ever so slowly pinched my nipple. HARD.
"Ouch!" My voice was high and cracked like a twelve year old boy going through puberty. "Let go the nipple, woman!"
"That was for suggesting that," she informed me. "As comfortable as I am lying here with you, if I'm staying over I think it'd be a good time to go back to my place."
I agreed even though I could've stayed in our current position all night long. Carlisle let us take his car over to Bella's to get some of her things.
"Bella, am I driving too slow or something?" I asked on the way to her house.
"No, I don't think so." She leaned over to catch a glimpse of the speedometer. "You're going within the speed limit."
"That's what I thought." I squinted from the bright lights in my rear view mirror. "What the hell is it with people following me too closely?"
"They're just impatient jackasses," she said as I pulled into her driveway. The car behind us continued down the road, and I saw Charlie's police cruiser in the driveway. "Great, Charlie is home. Wait here and I'll be right back."
"Are you sure you want to face him by yourself?" I asked seriously. "I'll go with you if you want."
Bella thought it'd be better if she went alone to gather some things. When she came back out five minutes later, she told me that she used Alice, not me, as an excuse to sleep over. Oh, my girl was so damn smart. When we got back to the house I put the keys to Carlisle's car where he had instructed me to and we headed back up to my room.
Because girls always took longer with anything involving the bathroom, I went and changed, washed my face, and brushed my teeth first. I got into bed and got comfortable while Bella did what ever it was girls did while they hogged the bathroom at night. I stretched out and stared at the clock.
The display read 12:00 a.m. One week ago my life officially began to unravel from the lies it had been built on. I could feel Emmett and Charlie's grip on me as they held me back from running to Liz Masen.
"Edward!"
"Mom?"
Closing my eyes, I tried to stop the tape of my memory from re-airing in my brain.
"I need to take you to the police station."
Fuck, it wasn't working.
"How have Peter and Elizabeth Masen treated you over the years?"
"Edward? Are you okay?" I could hear Bella's voice, but it seemed like it was so far away.
"When you were two days old, you were kidnapped from Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles."
I broke free of the memories in sat up in bed. "Edward, what was going on just then?" Bella was concerned about me, but I wasn't sure how to explain certain things to her. "Honey, you look like a deer when it's caught in a set of headlights."
I patted the space next to me and attempted to plaster on a fake smile. "I'll be fine." From the look on her face, I knew Bella was accepting my words but didn't believe me. I had a horrible poker face, really I did. We lay down next to one another, our limbs entwined. "I'll be fine," I repeated, unsure if it was for more of her benefit or mine.
"You know you can talk to me, right?" Bella's hand was splayed out and resting on my chest, above my heart. "About anything you need to."
"Yeah, it's just hard to talk when you don't know what to say about your life being ripped to shreds." Turning in her arms, I moved us so that we were lying on our sides. I slid down so that Bella's chin was resting on the top of my head. My arms were wrapped around Bella's waist and I could feel her hands running through my hair. Time passed and her movements ceased, her breathing changed, and I knew she had fallen asleep.
And I couldn't seem to.
Very carefully, I removed myself from Bella's embrace and got out of bed. Not wanting to wake her up, I quietly left my room and cautiously made my way downstairs. I paced the kitchen. I paced the living room. My eyes landed on the door to the basement which Emmett called the gym. It wasn't much of a traditional gym, but it held some work out equipment the family used. I opened the door, felt for the light switch on the wall, and headed down the flight of stairs. I scanned the room, silently remembering each piece of equipment and where it was located from the time Emmett had brought me down here. I should really start working out with Emmett and Jasper. I'd like to look like something other than a prepubescent eleven year old boy when I took my shirt off. I could have used the treadmill, but the thought of running in place right now didn't appeal to me. For safety reasons, I didn't want to use any of the equipment that would normally require a spotter. That left out lifting weights. I shouldn't use the weight machine at night anyway—the clanking of the metal might wake someone.
And that's when I found my answer. It hung dangling from the ceiling, covered in a red material, just waiting to be pounded on.
"When you were two days old, you were kidnapped from Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles." Charlie's words echoed once again in my head and with my right arm quickly extended out, I balled my hand into a fist and it landed against the punching bag.
"You were kidnapped by Peter and Elizabeth Masen. They're not your real parents."
I reached out and punched the bag with my left hand. It barely moved. Why didn't the fucker move?
"We don't understand why the Masens took you."
Hell, I didn't either. My right fist made contact with the bag again.
"You are no relation to Peter or Elizabeth Masen whatsoever."
I continued to relive the memories of that night, and each time one of my fists landed against the bag, barely moving it. It annoyed me. I punched the sucker harder. And harder. Each time my fist landed against the bag, I dragged up another memory and punched away at it. The more I thought about what had happened and the unanswered questions that continued to surround my life, the harder I punched. I wanted to take all of the anger, frustration, confusion, and resentment out of my body and punch it into that damn bag. My hair was matted to my forehead and I was drenched from sweat, but I didn't care. The minutes flew by as I continued to relive my false existence and the lies it created. I punched that damn punching bag until my knuckles bled.
A/N: If you feel so inclined, go ahead and email Edward. eacullen91[at]gmail[dot]com